torbrthatonerootbeerrat

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

They got my boy's snake

Found this little snowglobe statue of a wizard and an unhappily beheaded dragon at the thrift shop. Didn't buy it because of the dragon's missing head but I'm low-key regretting it now...

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

Why are the dragons always beheaded?

Found this little snowglobe statue of a wizard and an unhappily beheaded dragon at the thrift shop. Didn't buy it because of the dragon's missing head but I'm low-key regretting it now...

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

Well shit, can't undo it now. Maybe ask @the-curse-wizard about it. Not my specialty. There's also been a mold mage about who recently found a grimoire of banana flavored spells. Anyways, good luck with that.

I got cursed by a wizard a couple years ago, nothing really changed besides the fact that now sometimes there are oranges on my floor.

It's neat, but it makes having guests over a hassle sometimes, there's always a peel or something and they slip. I'm not sure there's a remedy to this.

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

Why does the "u" not even mildly annoy me, but the "your," "its," and "dont" do annoy me? The "cant" does not. The lack of period at the end of the last sentence does bother me, but the "yku" at the beginning doesn't. What the hell is going on with my brain gremlin? Why is it so peculiar with what bothers it?

yku know your just a coward for not wanting to come hang out with me. its honestly really really sad that u cant even handle the dark righteousness of my shadow blade. i dont think i want to take you out for normal mead after this

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

If sapience and being soup are not exclusive, then yes I would say you are soup. It kinda hinges on your definition of soup though. Like, if you think soup *shouldn't talk back* then that's a fairly reasonable take, and therefore you aren't soup. Otherwise, you is soup.

Wait, okay, so I've got a semiliquid consistency... I'm made up of a lot of different ingredients... and as a magic potion I'm technically edible (but please do not take this as permission to drink me I would still very much prefer you didn't do that)...

Am I...

Am I technically soup?

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

I like coffee cakes ):

stop eating coffee cakes with the lesser drakes and come drink from a flagon with an elder dragon

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

I love the figure. I befriend my horrors.

most ominous thing you could ever see is quite possibly a figure. you do NOT wanna spot one of those if you can help it

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

... That's... A pretty good point. I think I'm gonna go incubate a few extra organs for redundancy purposes now.

think it's funny that people talk a big game about wooden stakes killing vampires when humans are notoriously susceptible to being impaled.

like if I took Jerry from wizard according and HAMMERED A WOODEN STAKE through his chest, I don't think I'd even need to hit the heart to turn him into a ghost lmao

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

might put a wooden stake in my chest tbh

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

How fast do your teeth grow back?

you’re very kind and very patient

I ran out of my lifetime supply of "being the bigger person" some years ago. I don't start shit with people, but if someone starts first, I have no intention to be bigger, or a person. I am going to be a mean little beast. If someone decides to kick me just to see what happens, they're free to spend the rest of the afternoon plucking my teeth off their ankle.

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

jerk off and moan like a girl in my enchanted grove hideout? that's not what it's for

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

Idk, they just be doing that fr. Be careful around them ig. Good luck with your... Whatever is going on.

Anyways, I've got a rogue golem to... Do things with...

So I just got a fortune cookie that said "Your doom is not what you think."

Honestly, I'm less worried about what the fortune cookie said than why it suddenly manifested in the hallway.

Also, how could it talk.

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

Why, are you spawn killing the vampire version of yourself? Get turned and just immediately blegh—

might put a wooden stake in my chest tbh

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

I prefer the brutal violence of metal magic, but there's always room for the classics.

I gotta say. Fire spells have a certain je ne said quois that makes you feel like a Regent

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

Starlight and steel

Produce Pre-peeled

By magic and mana

I CHANGE YOUR ORANGES INTO BANANA!

I got cursed by a wizard a couple years ago, nothing really changed besides the fact that now sometimes there are oranges on my floor.

It's neat, but it makes having guests over a hassle sometimes, there's always a peel or something and they slip. I'm not sure there's a remedy to this.

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

I'm just saying when it comes to entities that aren't alive in a conventional sense–

HEY YOU SPIT THAT OUT! I SWEAR TO–

[torbrthatonerootbeerrat]

Shouldn't you be happy? I thought mold loved fruit

Just found a spellbook of "banana-flavored spells", and I... don't know what that mens. What makes a spell banana-flavored? Do you eat spells? What is going on here?