transamorousnetwork

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Post-Transamorous: A New Journey Calls Me

As I write this post, I’m thinking back to my past and my own journey on the “Chaser-to-Transamorous” path. It’s been quite a few years. I’ve written nearly 500 posts about trans-attraction and transamory. I’ve shared my journey of self-discovery and acceptance while offering advice, initially for trans-attracted men. But I gradually shifted that focus to trans women.

As I wrote in a recent post, many trans women and trans-attracted men expressed appreciation for what I’ve shared here over the years. As my own self-discovery included a path into deeper, esoteric spirituality, that knowledge found its way into The Transamorous Network content too. This included this blog, our podcast, our YouTube Channel and more. It’s been fun sharing my journey, offering advice to others and receiving positive support from readers.

Of course, I’ve also received messages from haters, mostly bigoted trans women suffering from self loathing, who projected their hate onto me. I appreciate those people too because those people had me focus even more on supporting the community with the material I offered. I knew those women’s comments had much more to say about them than they did my writing, my content or me as a person. And I knew what I offered could actually help them.

Fifteen years…at least

Speaking of me as a person, discovering my transamory alongside my spiritual origins has been an incredible journey. I remember when I first saw a trans woman. It was in the early 80s in Osaka, Japan. My girlfriend at the time thought it would be entertaining to take me to a Yakuza bar where all the “go-go” dancers were trans. Little did she know, or maybe she did know from a spiritual perspective, that introduction sparked a flame in me.

That flame grew into an adventure that, at first, I struggled valiantly to repress. I was in the Marines after all, before the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell mandate. Being queer was a dischargeable offense. Still, my transamory wouldn’t be denied. 

It took more than 15 years, I think, to embrace my queerness and my attraction to trans women. During that time I struggled, but always knew myself as the individual I am today. I knew I would make it through someday. And after making it, I decided to start The Transamorous Network to help others make it. Helping others has been rewarding.

And yet all adventures either come to an end, or they change.

Getting to know myself

My adventure taking the form of The Transamorous Network is about to come to an end. This is the last post. I’ll be focusing on my cisgender audiences going forward. Cisgender people comprise the majority of my clients these days. My experience with them shows them more open to moving along the spiritual path I offer. It feels wonderful seeing them resonate with results they produce through my guidance. So focusing on them is where I want to commit my energies. Doing so feels good and nothing matters more than feeling good.

As I close this chapter of my adventure, I’m reflecting on my own journey, one that began, like many men, with the thought that I was gay. Being on the DL all that time didn’t stop me from exploring. That exploration included having encounters with men. I wanted to find out if I was gay, or was there something else going on with me. At that time “trans-attracted” wasn’t a thing. At least I wasn’t aware of such a term.

So while I still dated cis women, I also explored with men and with trans women when the opportunity presented itself. These days, I’ve had enough experience with pretty much every gender to know what I like, what I’m attracted to and why. I approached this with the same zeal I approached getting to know my spiritual nature. That’s why I know myself as transamorous. Not a chaser. Not a fetishizer.

All things change…

What I find interesting as this chapter closes is my sexual practices have changed. To understand how, I want to tell a story of something that happened while I was still exploring.

Decades ago, I had a long-term affair with a guy named Bill. It lasted almost 20 years. He wasn’t at all good looking, but he had a giant dick I loved to suck and get fucked by. We were really good friends and that’s what the relationship emerged from: our friendship. He was a top and not interested at all in being a bottom. Not that I was encouraging that, I really loved his dick (and came to love him over time, romantically, interestingly enough).

Bill was a sex fiend and couldn’t get enough. I knew this about him and just assumed he was careful. I was shocked one evening though when he told me he had contracted HIV… Years later we reconnected after a rather messy end to our relationship triggered by my fear he put me at risk (I’m HIV-). During this reconnection, Bill shared, to my shock and awe, that he was now a bottom!

I’m sharing this because, recently, I’ve been contemplating my anal play and whether it really offers the sensual stimulation I enjoy so much, or is it instead more of a psychological thing….I’m coming to the point that it is way more the latter than the former. Especially after meeting Yuri and enjoying performing the traditional male role with her.

Post-transamorous and the next adventure

So I’m really close at the moment to declaring myself, no longer interested in being strictly a “bottom”. I find this interesting because I never thought that aspect of me would change. Even though I saw it happen with someone I knew very well.

I feel resolute about this change, in the same way Bill felt about his. It’s interesting contemplating how my life seems to be coming full circle. At least as far as my sexuality is concerned.

And perhaps this is the case with many men who find themselves attracted to trans women. Perhaps, at the end of the day, what we trans-attracted men are looking for is self understanding. And we discover that, as many people do: through the mirror inherent in all relationships.

I’ve had many relationships and have used them to chart my own journey to self-discovery, as, I’m sure, my partners did too. Along the way I’ve met some stellar people, both trans-attracted and transgender. This has been a great journey.

And the journey continues. But it no longer will focus on my wanting to convince the trans community that they are empowered, powerful, creative beings creating their reality as they move through life, and thus can enjoy a life where all they want is theirs. They are that, as is everyone else. Yet, it’s time for me to take the next step in my journey. That requires no longer trying to convince people who are not ready to hear this uplifting message.

So with that, I bid the trans community adieu. The next chapter of my adventure awaits. A chapter where I move beyond identifying as transamorous. I just am.

PS –

If you’re still interested in hearing from me, subscribe to my other blog Positively Focused, on WordPress, Medium, Tumblr and my Facebook Page by the same name. Across all these platforms, Positively Focus enjoys more that 15,000 followers.

The Transamorous Network will likely cease to exist within the next few months.

PPS -

One of the first transgender clients I served, has followed this blog pretty much from the beginning. Her response to this post is the perfect capstone. It's an example, I know, of how many trans women have benefited from my writings. And so, I leave with her well-wishes:

[transamorousnetwork]

I Love When People Get It…And When People Don’t

I publish these posts weeks after I write them. That way, I don’t feel pressure to write something if I don’t want to. Invariably, however, the urge strikes. And so I find myself at my writing table.

Today is no different. 

This post is about feedback I received over the last two weeks. Primarily feedback on two posts. The one about how trans women contributed to Trump winning the White House and another sharing my experience with sex with a post-op trans woman.

Not being a hypocrite, I’m going to lavish on what I want in this post, rather than dwell on what I don’t. I’m going to praise those readers who get what I’m sharing, who have benefited from reading these posts.

But I’m also going to praise those who haven’t got what I share. Including those lambasting that second post as transphobic. I am going to praise those people, because they offer grit, the grain of sand that contributes to the ongoing pearl forming in my personality oyster that unfolds as my daily life.

So in praise of both, I offer this rather brief post.

I’m pretty positive

Over the years of writing this blog, some trans women have pretty much raved about what I share. Those who get it, those primed to benefit from what I write, share their enthusiasm and satisfaction.

Some of those women engaged with me as clients. Others, haven’t, but they have reached out from time to time to share their life progress, progress happening at least partially because of what they’ve read on this blog.

I recall fondly an ongoing three-year conversation with a trans woman in the midwest somewhere, who struggled with men and career. After a couple years of focus, she wound up meeting much better men, and started her own business. One that became successful enough that she hired her mom as an employee.

Many such stories fill my memory. And there are less profound experiences that, while less profound, were no less gratifying to receive.

Recently, in response to my most recent posts (at the time of writing this), I got two examples I really, really appreciate. The first I’m sharing responds to a post I wrote after my post about the trans community helping Trump win. In that post I shared my “origin story.”

A few didn’t respond kindly to that one, but this person’s response resonates with intentions I put into that story:

Yeah. I’m pretty positive. And it seems that bright light I offer warmed the heart of this reader.

Making a difference

The post on Trump really triggered a lot of trans women. Getting triggered is unfortunate because it reveals so much more about the person getting triggered and says nothing about the thing the person is letting trigger them.

So when I got a lot of trans women pissed off about that post and the one about me having sex with a post-op trans woman, I reveled in the knowing I have about people, the Universe and how it all works. I shared some of that knowledge in responses to those people who commented negatively. On the surface what I wrote made little difference: the women just doubled-down on their triggered perspective.

But I know when that happens, such people make a connection with what I share in a powerful way. In that way, they are bound to encounter what they’ve read somewhere else in their life. Perhaps it will come in the form they can more readily digest. So I know while it looks like I made little difference, I actually made a HUGE difference.

And that’s why I’ve written so much on this blog. That and other reasons kept me coming back to my computer every week. 

Comments like the one below kept me coming back too. Getting comments like this one cause all the flaming from triggered trans women to pale in comparison. Yep, some people out there get it. And it’s cool when they feel moved enough to share like this:

In praise

When a person gets triggered, the belief confrontation happening in them literally takes them over. They can’t control themselves, which is often why such people resort to name calling and even violence. So when people respond negatively in a comment, it doesn’t mean very much. They’re out of control.

But for a person to share a positive comment, something significant must happen to move them to take the time to comment. Feeling good isn’t enough. A strong resonance between the writer and the reader must happen. In other words, someone taking time to share a positive comment speaks more powerfully than someone firing off a triggered, angry offended rant.

That’s why I so appreciate when I get calls or comments, such as the ones above.

I appreciate the flames too though although sometimes it takes a while. That’s because they cause me to dig deeper into my awareness, the very same awareness that has me write these posts every week.

Maybe you can tell I’m heading somewhere. It’s a destination I expect will fulfill itself in the next two blog posts or so. Until then, I appreciate you, dear reader. Whether you get it or whether you don’t.

[transamorousnetwork]

It’s Crazy How Trans People Would Rather Be Right Than Happy

There is a better way to live. One where Trans Community members, in which I include trans-attracted people and their allies, can live far more happily. In that better way, way more of what we want can be ours too.

But it requires giving up being right. Especially on subjects we feel fear about. Fear is a powerful emotion. I’m going to dive deeper on that and why it’s not a good idea to wallow in fear in this post. Especially fear about Trump.

Trump’s election victory has a lot of trans people fearful about their future. It has many trans allies feeling the same way, including many of my friends. A big reason why they feel this way is because they think they’re right. They think Trump has it in for trans people. They think Trump is going to follow through with his threats.

And he probably will. After all, a lot of momentum backs those actions. Momentum trans people and their allies contribute to through their fear.

And this is why it’s important that we NOT allow ourselves to succumb to our fears. Even if those fears come true. 

In this post, I’m going to describe why, how being right is a problem, and how living happily instead serves not only our community, but the world at large. 

Here we go!

Some background

This article will be easier to understand if readers have some background on where my perspective comes from. Readers who don’t have this background will get “triggered” by what I’m sharing. If what you’ve read so far triggers you, you should probably stop reading right now.

There’s nothing inaccurate about what’s written here. I know this from my own experience. My experience isn’t my only proof, however. My clients’ experience implementing what I share backs me up too. Those who don’t have life experience proving what I’m sharing is accurate typically experience “belief confrontations” when they read what I write.

A belief confrontation is what happens when a person is “triggered”. They have a belief, usually a strong one. When life gives them evidence not matching that belief, the belief pushes back against that reality. When that happens, usually the person behaves in ways we call “triggered”. 

They get angry and lash out. Usually that lashing out looks like name-calling. It can also look like violence. Or it looks like responding in a comment where, in the case of my writings, they express how “wrong” I am. Yes, that’s right. When one has a “belief confrontation” they must be right. They have to be, or else the belief is threatened. So reality, including the other person, becomes wrong.

So as you read this, please remember you have beliefs and your beliefs may even be right. But if you’re triggered because of what you’re reading, then maybe they’re not right. Maybe your beliefs are worth examining and replacing with better-serving beliefs.

Is action better?

A lot of people right now worry about what’s going to happen when Trump takes office. Of course, Trump is not in office yet. So in the now, which is the only place we can exist, nothing has happened worthy of our fear or worry. The Biden Administration is still in office. Things are pretty much going the way they have for the last four years.

So this fear and worry is not about the now, it’s about the future. All fear and worry is always about the future. That’s why fear and worry are problems. Because when we’re fearful and worryful, we’re not using the now to our advantage. Instead, we’re doing the opposite. We’re using the now to our disadvantage.

Another thing we fear or worry about, that we can do nothing about really, is the fate of other people. Our worry and fear about other people is near-worthless. Even from the perspective of the people we’re fearing and worrying for, all our fear and worry does is cause them to fear and worry too. So now everyone is using the now to our mutual disadvantage.

To be clear, when we’re taking action as a response to fear or worry, then usually we’re not feeling fear or worry at that point. So action is a good antidote to fear and worry, because at least we’re doing something. But there’s a catch to such action: if we’re acting while fearing and worrying, then our action gets tainted by that.

I’m sure readers have experienced lack-luster results that come from acting while feeling anything other than confidence and clarity. We often bomb job interviews, miss out on potential dates, or our skill at something doesn’t shine when we act out of fear or worry.

Feeling better is better

This explains why action can often not be the best option when one worries or fears. And I haven’t even talked about the vibrational nature of those emotions and how they create futures we won’t like.

If people understood that fear is a problem and why, they’d probably not fear so much. Instead they’d tell better-feeling stories about what they fear in order to build beliefs that are more empowering than the ones having them feeling fear.

But most people, including trans and trans-attracted people and their allies, would rather be right than feel better. I know this first hand.

A newer client is deathly afraid of what the incoming administration will do to illegal aliens. She tutors a young Latina whose family is living in the country illegally apparently. My client is literally terrified for this young woman.

But what is her terrified feeling doing for the young person? For sure she can feel that strong fear coming from the woman, so she’s probably also terrified. How does that help her?

It doesn’t.

The problem with the future

When I try to get my client to think of better thoughts about the future, she literally cannot. She can’t get beyond thoughts she’s thinking about the future that has her afraid. Every time I try to encourage her, rather than finding better-feeling thought about the future, she has a belief confrontation: she instead attacks the validity of this “you create your reality” business, claiming she can’t believe what she’s learning, even though she’s already produced a number of powerful examples showing it works!

In other words, she wants to be right. She want’s to be right about the fact that Trump will find this young girl and her family and deport them. And she’s angry and miserable about it.

Meanwhile, right now, none of that has happened. The girl is fine. Life is good. The client is mentoring her. All is well.

It’s crazy focusing on some terrible future in a way that has us feel bad. That’s because we only have the now. The future hasn’t happened yet. So we’re feeling bad for nothing, right now, because there’s nothing we can do about some future act we fear. 

Well, there is something we can do. We can create a better future. And we can do that right now. But we can’t when we’re using the now to create a worse future, which is what we’re doing when we are in fear or worry.

That’s a problem.

Unconscious insanity 

It should be clear that it’s a problem because the future we’ve created from our past fear and worry we’re living in now. Trump won. And he’s had four years of experience informing what he’s going to do next. Between when he first ran and right now, we had the opportunity to create a better, preferred future.

But what did we do? Did we use that time to do that? Nope! We doubled down! We worried, attacked Trump and his allies. Whatever he and his allies did, we paid attention to and railed against it. We watched all kinds of media about it and shared it with our friends while wagging fingers and shaking heads.

In other words, we focused on what we didn’t want. And so now, we’re getting what we focused on and thereby created. I described this in my previous post.

The problem with using the now by filling it with fear and worry is that when we create futures from there, we have to experience those futures we create! So it makes sense to stop fear-ing and worry-ing and instead find better-feeling thoughts. When we do that, we create better-feeling futures.

But we can’t create around or previous creations. In other words, we’ve created the world where Trump is the next president. So now we must live through that. And if we keep worrying and fearing, which is what put him in office in the first place, we’re doubling down and thus getting more of what we don’t want.

That’s not just crazy, it’s insane.

Accepting our unwanted creation

Our happiness is our super power. It enables us to get everything we want. It literally is the power we possess, power we can use to literally create our reality. So let’s look at how we can use that power to create a better future for ourselves as a community.

Before we can do that, we must first accept what we’ve already created. We can’t create around what we’ve already created. Nor do we want to try to create a reality as a reaction to that unwanted outcome we created. That’s how Trump ended up in office in the first place: a lot of progressives, trans people included, tried getting Harris in office by railing against Trump. That doesn’t work!

So instead, we must accept what we’ve done. Then look at a future we want and focus only on that. That can be hard for people in terror about the future. So maybe it’s better to soothe that terror, that fear, by first telling better-feeling stories about what’s coming. 

Let’s start there. And let’s use as an example, the child my client is mentoring.

What better feeling stories can we tell about that situation? There are plenty. Let’s take a look at those in a minute.

Getting what we want

First, we must know we’re not doing anything to change the child’s experience. The child, let’s call her Lupe, is a creator just as we are. She’s in charge of creating her reality and she wouldn’t have it any other way. What we are doing is doing something to change our reality. We’re coming up with better-feeling stories or beliefs, so that we can live a future in which we can see everything working out for us.

That requires more explanation.

If you look at life, you’ll see that everything does work out. While it’s working out, it may not look like it’s working out. And it may not look like how we’d prefer it to work out as it’s working out. But it always works out. So it’s important to get that that working out works out, even if it looks like it’s not working out in the way we think it should.

^^Life is beautiful and it’s always working out. (Photo by Robert Lukeman on Unsplash)

That makes sense because the Universe is having things work out for everyone at the same time. For that to happen, “working out” must look like an extremely winding path, not a straight shot right to what we want. And besides, often, what we think we want, isn’t what we really want. 

For example, we might want a relationship. But we haven’t cleaned up our anger, our self-loathing or our belief that we’re not worthy of having a relationship. With all those things in place in us, we’ll get relationships. But those relationships will reflect back to us all those things in us. And so they’ll suck.

It all works out

Those relationships are serving us. They’re showing us what we must clean up to get the relationship we really want. But if we don’t know that, we might fight against those relationships and the men in them. We might call them chasers and fetishizers. We might claim they’re using us, not seeing us for who we are. Like this person who commented on a recent post of mine and simultaneously victimized herself and vilified men she meets, both being actions that are not in her best interest.

When we do that, we’re doubling down on those things in us, instead of aligning with what we want: a relationship. In the meantime, those relationships reflecting those things back to us are giving us what we want: They’re giving us a relationship, and they’re giving us situations reflecting what’s in us so we can clean them up. Do that, and our relationships will get better, until we end up in one that matches our cleaned up inner state.

So the Universe gives us what we want, but only the part of what we want that we’re ready for. It’s not usually going to give us what we want in the way we think it should. That’s usually because we don’t know what’s happening. But it’s also because the Universe has a lot more resources and means at its disposal than we can possibly fathom. It’s through that unfathomable means that the Universe gives all of us what we want simultaneously.

And that’s why Trump is coming into office. We’re getting what we want. We just think we know how that’s supposed to happen and when. Meanwhile, the Universe is doing it in the way it knows gives everyone what they want in the end. It all works out, in other words.

How to feel better through our thoughts

So there’s Lupe. She’s at the dinner table and we’re mentoring her. What better-feeling stories can we make up about her situation? Ones that we’ll feel better when we tell them?

Here are thirteen examples:

There are many million illegal immigrants in the US. The government can’t possibly deport all of them. It would cost too much and take way too much manpower. 

Even if the government tries to deport them all, many of them will probably fall through the cracks. They won’t find them all. Maybe they will miss Lupe’s family.

If things get too crazy, the American people won’t stand for it. Look what happened with the “Kids in cages” situation. And that started under a Democratic Administration! Certainly something like that won’t happen for long should it happen again.

Lupe’s young. She’s going to be ok whatever happens.

There are lots of people living happily in the country Lupe’s from. Going back to her home country is not the end of the world.

Lupe’s smart, she’s strong. She’s going to be ok.

Lupe’s with her family here. If she goes back where her family’s from, she’ll be with more family. It will work out.

Things will probably change in the future. Lupe will be able to come back more likely.

Life is long. Things are always changing.

This situation will pass.

Worrying about this is doing nothing for me but making me miserable. I’m going to stop thinking about this and eat some ice cream.

This fear I’m feeling is useless. I can’t do anything about it right now anyway. Trump isn’t even in office yet.

Trump usually has been his own worst enemy. His success doesn’t last. Maybe this will be another example.

This list isn’t all inclusive. Plenty more better-feeling thoughts exist.

Stop being crazy

And the thing about these better-feeling stories is, they don’t have to be true. All they have to do is make us feel even a smidgen better. That’s important for several reasons.

The first is about our life in general. A life lived happily-ever-after is composed of many “happy now” moments. It’s about living happy now. And now. And now…until we’re dead. So when we’re not happy now, we’re not living happily-ever-after.

Second, the now is the only moment we have. Why use that now to feel miserable, especially about something we can’t do right now. Trump is not in office yet.

Three, our power is in the now. By creating better-feeling moods in the now, we align with better-feeling futures. So it’s in our best interest to be happy now. 

Four, our positivity is as contagious as our negativity. We don’t help anyone by spreading our negativity all over the place.

Lastly, everything always works out. If that’s true, and it is, why be miserable? It’s all working out anyway, so why not be happy?

The problem, the crazy, insane problem, is, people apparently would rather be right than happy. They’d rather squander their power, which always is in the now, by thinking they know what the future holds, and feeling miserable in the process. That’s crazy and insane.

Especially when the future can be deliberately shaped by every one of us! We’re doing it anyway! It’s just that when we’re miserable and right, we’re shaping a future we’re not going to like.

I say give that up. Stop being crazy. And watch how life gets better. Even with Trump in office.

[transamorousnetwork]

What Happens When “New Age Nonsense” Gets It Wrong?

In the past election season, my Broader Perspective told me Kamala Harris was going to win. As we all know, though, that didn’t happen.

Did my Broader Perspective get it wrong?

A lot of people who think this “you create your reality” business is “New Age nonsense” will point to such outcomes with an accusing finger.

They’ll say “See? What bullshit!”

Even some clients doubted what happened. One asked why my Broader Perspective “lied” to me. Another, whose Broader Perspective told her as well that Harris would win by a large margin, was shocked by the actual results. I was surprised, but I knew an explanation existed for the apparent discrepancy between our Broader Perspectives and the result.

That’s because I know what I know is infallible. I know the Universe works exactly as I’ve learned it does. So if something happens that appears contradictory to what I know, then I must not be clearly seeing what’s going on.

Given all this, I turned to my spiritual mentors for answers. I also dug into past knowledge I gained in my years of Buddhist scholarly practice.

What I discovered not only reassured me, it had me double down on the fact that what I know is 100 percent accurate.

Let’s take a look at what’s happening when it looks like “New Age” advice gets it wrong.

Understanding the unfathomable

First we must accept that All That Is is unfathomable. All That Is constantly creates more of all that is. And that’s been happening….since….forever. So no one can know the totality of All That Is. Not even All That Is!

That unknowable quality of All That Is extends to the intelligence of All That Is. It’s not called “Infinite Intelligence” for nothing. That means there are no bounds to how intelligent Infinite Intelligence is. 

So when we humans try understanding Infinite Intelligence and All That Is, we must come from a grounded place. We must accept that, as much as we learn, there always will be more to learn.

One thing I’ve learned is All That Is assists all of us in our expansion. One way it does that is through contrast: experiences which prompt from within us desire. Now, “desire” makes it sound like those experiences must always feel good. The trouble is, contrast often feels not good. Especially for those who don’t understand how the Universe works.

Even for those who do understand, such experiences can feel awful. But for those who do understand, such people cancome to accept and even appreciate the real nature of and value that contrast offers.

The real nature of contrast is that it usually is an uncomfortable experience. One that tells us immediately what we don’t like.

More about contrast and its importance

Usually, contrast looks and feels like something we don’t want, such as our preferred candidate losing. The moment we have such experiences though, we also know what we do want. The key to contrast’s value is realizing this, then lining up with that which we want. In doing that, we feel better and that better feeling tells us something extremely important.

Contrast is all around us. It comes in large and small experiences, even insignificant-seeming ones. But the ones most of us struggle with are those that are significant, such as our political candidate losing in what we believe is a crucial election.

Nothing “crucial” ever happens, however. That’s because everything always works out for everyone. Everything always turns out for everyone because All That Is enjoys a capacity large enough for everyone to get what they want.

Humans make trouble for themselves, however, when they think what they want must come the way they believe it should come. Me and others, for example, believed the only way we could get what we wanted from the election was for Harris to win. That’s a problem.

Getting what we want when we line up

It’s a problem because All That Is is unfathomable, including its intelligence and capacity. As such, a human mind can never know the resources at All That Is’ disposal to make what we want happen. A human mind also can’t figure out the best time for something to happen, even though our minds like to think they can. That’s why there’s such a thing as “divine timing”. 

I know it can be frustrating when we want something, believe it must happen now, and it doesn’t happen until later. Sometimes WAY later. But divine timing exists for a reason. The reason is because Infinite Intelligence or All That Is knows when it’s the best time for something to happen. It also yields to our desire, but only when we are a match to that thing. And usually, when we want something “now” we are really focused on the situation that has us yearning. In that focus, we’re not lined up with what we want. Which explains why it doesn’t show up immediately.

So when we try to figure out either the “how” or the “when” we usually gum up the works. We add resistance, which creates delay. We’ll eventually get what we want, but only when we finally line up with it.

Sometimes, lining up with our desire requires a stronger vibrational alignment to that which we’re wanting. Abraham calls that “stronger asking”. And there’s no better experience to prompt stronger asking, or to cause us to more strongly align with our wanting, than really strong contrast. Like our candidate losing, for example.

Introducing the path of least resistance

Another reason it may look like we’re not getting what we want happens when we, again, think we know how it’s going to happen. Especially when it comes to a lot of people getting what they want. Again, the Universe will give everyone what they want. But think about it. The US population is over 300 million people. Untold billions of others outside the US were focused on the outcome of our election too. And, obviously, some number of those people were going to appear to not get what they want no matter who won.

The Universe, therefore took advantage of another aspect that we must keep in mind when lining up. That is, the path of least resistance.

The path of least resistance, as the name implies, is the path energetically between one point and another representing the lowest amount of resistance. Now, the path of least resistance is not the same as the shortest path. The path of least resistance usually is longer because it takes people some time to release resistance and line up. And even when they do, some resistance remains in their way. 

So All That Is and one’s Broader Perspective coordinate to move a person around or through that remaining resistance. And it’s for this reason that one’s path to what they want may look like they’re not getting what they want, when, actually they are.

So when Kamala lost, I knew I was still on the path. I also knew I had focused too much on the “how”. It also was clear that the loss prompted stronger asking on my part. But why was it that my Broader Perspective told me she was going to win when she didn’t? To understand why, we must introduce yet another important concept.

Setting up another awesome unfolding

I’m glad I have a lot of spiritual study under my belt. My scholarly study of Buddhism came in handy in understanding why my Broader Perspective adamantly said Kamala would win when she didn’t.

I’ll get to that in a moment.

Interestingly, I had access to another resource I hadn’t tapped into in a while. In addition to their in-person workshops, Abraham also holds regular online events they call “Abraham NOW” sessions. Like their in-person workshops, these three hour events feature people asking Abraham questions and Abraham using those questions as jumping-off points to share their wisdom.

Now, to understand all that happened, to really appreciate it, let’s look at some speculative numbers around these online events. Somewhere between 1500 and 3000 people participate in Abraham’s in-person workshops. In a given year, approximately 60 workshops happen around the country. So that’s something like 90-180,000 people attending these events. And that doesn’t even include the cruises. In-person workshops run about $300.

But Abraham NOW events are only $49. Much more affordable. I speculate that about a quarter of the same number of people who attend the workshops in a year are tuning in to each Abraham NOW session. That’s a lot of people. But it shouldn’t be surprising: they’re more frequent, they cost less and they are far more convenient.

Those planning to attend an Abraham NOW event can also submit one written or one video question. For sure, a lot of people do that too. And there isn’t enough time to answer every question. So just like at the in-person events, Abraham selects the questions they will feature.

^^An example of past Abraham NOW event recordings from the Abraham website.

Was the advice wrong?

After the election, as I wrote above, several clients were struggling with the outcome. I was too, although for different reasons. Two days after the election, I got an impulse that Abraham was probably going to have an Abraham NOW session scheduled. They are Infinite Intelligence after all. So they probably anticipated that a lot of humans would be all bunged up no matter what the result. They would want answers.

Sure enough, when I logged into my Abraham-Hicks.com account, I saw an Abraham NOW event scheduled for that Saturday, November 9. I told all my advanced clients about it, then registered myself. This was on a Friday afternoon at about 1:45 p.m. The registration page invited me to submit a video or written question, but I only had until 2 p.m. to get it in. Perfect timing! I had 15 minutes to submit a question, which I did.

My question was basically “how did my Broader Perspective get it wrong?” I phrased it that way purposefully because I wanted an answer I could share with my clients, should they not register themselves. I wondered whether Abraham would use my video question on the live stream, but didn’t worry too much. Other people would have the same question, I knew. 

So when Saturday came, I logged into the live stream. Sure enough, several people questioned the election results. Many were worried about the outcome. I wasn’t worried about that. I just wanted to know how my Broader Perspective encouraged me towards a result that didn’t happen. But it was good to hear how Abraham answered those questions.

As the event wound down, and more people got their questions answered, I wondered whether myquestion would air.

It wasn’t wrong

Ten minutes prior to the event end, and not seeing my question featured yet, I surrendered to the possibility my question wouldn’t get answered. At that very moment I surrendered, my iPhone showed what many in New Age Circles call an “Angel Number“. The number was 1313. And in that very minute, Abraham said “let’s watch another video”….and my face appeared.

Just like in my initiation journey I wrote about before, I got featured at the very end. And I understood why: all the other questions and answers lead perfectly to my question. Of course, that all thrilled me. But the answer Abraham gave was astounding too.

In short, they said, my Broader Perspective didn’t get it wrong. What it did was offer guidance that would create contrast that would prompt stronger asking on my part. They also said the outcome represented the path of least resistance for everyone given what they want and that the unfolding, post election, will contain everything everyone wants. Everything will come in ways Americans can’t comprehend right now, they said, but will be completely satisfying as it all unfolds.

The answer made total sense. Especially after everything Abraham shared in answering questions preceding mine. 

After the live stream, I thought about Abraham’s answer. It reminded me of something I learned in my Buddhist studies. And the more I thought about that thing I learned, the more satisfied I became about the election. The more optimistic I got about what was to happen as well.

I want to share what that thing was that I learned next.

A parable of expedient means

The Lotus Sutra is the pinnacle of Buddhist Sutras. A lot of Buddhists and some scholars might disagree with that assertion. But when one reads the Lotus Sutra, it becomes obvious. The Buddha says many, many times throughout the Sutra that it is his ultimate teaching.

My scholarly study focused almost exclusively on this Sutra. That’s because I knew it to be the crown jewel of the Buddha’s teachings. It’s a marvelous work. It lays out in great detail the nature of the Buddhas, their blessings, where they come from and benefits those who hear the Lotus Sutra receive. What I remembered learning about was a parable offered in this Sutra. The parable is set up in Chapter 2 — Skillful or Expedient Means, and told in Chapter 3 — A parable.

Chapter 2 reveals that all Buddhas employ expedient means to lead people to enlightenment. There’s a lot of detail and repetition in the Lotus Sutra and these chapters are no different. But the gist of it is, Infinite Intelligence knows that ordinary humans are hard to reach. So it communicates in many different ways to reach them. Sometimes it will even use what people might call deceptions or falsehoods.

Chapter three gives an example of a rich man who has many kids. The kids run into a run down house (I’m simplifying the parable). Then the house catches fire. But the kids found toys in the house and are too busy playing with them to notice the fire. The rich man notices though. The fire rages and the house is about to collapse on the kids. The father calls to the them, saying “run out of the house, it’s on fire!” But the kids don’t listen.

Skillful means

So the father tells the children he has assembled carts of fabulous wealth for all of them. Not only that, the carts contain the rarest of toys and the kids can have them all, he says. Hearing this, the kids come rushing out from the house as the house collapses in flames.

Once outside the children ask for the carts, which their father provides. 

The Buddha then asks his listeners “did the father lie?” No, the listeners say, he did what he had to do to save his kids. The Buddha agrees then goes on to explain how Infinite Intelligence uses similar means to move people to enlightenment.

There’s another story told apart from the Lotus Sutra. It’s about the Buddha on a path to a wondrous kingdom, followed by his adherents. Halfway to the kingdom, the adherents tire out. The Buddha sees they can go no farther. But he knows the adherents will rejoice once they arrive at the kingdom.

So he manifests an hallucination. Right around the corner on the path the adherents discover a beautiful oasis filled with all manner of luxuries. The adherents think they’ve arrived at the kingdom; they don’t realize it’s an hallucination. Once they are refreshed, the Buddha then disappears the hallucination. The adherents are shocked. Some are angry. At that point the Buddha explains his expedient means.

He describes how their destination is far better than what they just experienced. He also describes setting up the hallucination in order to refresh the adherents so they can make the rest of the way to the destination. In this way, the adherents realize, the Buddha has skillfully encouraged them to go the final distance.

Preparing for the future

See the parallels?

I sure did after I remembered these stories. What really brought the parallel home was realizing The Lotus Sutra and everything in it accord quite nicely with how the Universe works. Sure, it’s full of a lot of repetition and mind-blowing imagery. But behind all that are deep accuracies about how enlightened ones work, how people are and how the Universe works.

It was a reminder for me that everything I’ve learned so far from both Seth and Abraham is 100 percent accurate.

At that point I got how my Broader Perspective didn’t lie to me. Like Abraham reiterated, it didn’t get it wrong. It used expedient means to get me to reach for the end goal, the thing I ultimately want. Looking at the election from that perspective bolstered me. It bolstered me and also prepared me for what happened next. 

That’s right, this story just keeps going and going!

The future is bright

The next week I enjoyed a couple conversations with a client who used to be a republican. He also possesses extreme knowledge about future high technologies across many sectors. Part of his knowledge includes blockchain technology. He’s as passionate about all this stuff as I am about spirituality.

The conversations with this guy made it abundantly clear where we are headed, not only as a nation, but as a global civilization. And, he showed how everything that’s going to happen will be a better extension fit with a Trump administration than would have been possible with democrats in office.

That future includes extreme material abundance for all. Super-high quality products and services offered at near zero cost. It also includes a fully automated infrastructure enabled by Artificial Intelligence and robotics. Indeed, the more he described, the more excited I got. And he didn’t just talk about the future, he speculated on how all of it would unfold.

Since I have the education and work background I have, I could follow pretty much everything he shared. It was a thrilling vision. I could see practical paths to all of it. Indeed, the more I think about it even now, the more convinced I am that this is our future.

Humanity has nothing to worry about. It’s all working out.

It was right all along

But in negative beliefs, in worry, in fear or anger, humans can’t see it all working out. We’re all going to get to that future my client described. That I’m sure. The only question is, how are individual human beings going to experience the path to that magnificent kingdom? Is their experience going to be one of sadness, worry, fear and violence? Or is their experience going to be joyful, hopeful, and eager? I know how mine is going to be.

And I’m encouraging my clients to cultivate similar experiences.

Why?

Because in those more positive emotions, we can see more. We can see opportunities we’re otherwise blind to when we’re wallowing in complaints about people who believe differently from us. When in reality they’re the very same people cooperating alongside us to create the future we all want.

That’s right. I wrote previously about how trans and trans-attracted people helped elect Trump. They had to have because that’s who’s president starting next year. That’s our collective, co-created reality. And nothing is asserted into our experience. We invite it all.

I know for many that’s hard to read. But Trump winning is the expedient means, the path of least resistance, to everything everyone wants. And that’s what’s so cool about All That Is. It has the capacity to use everyone for our ultimate good.

Interestingly, my future-oriented client claims that that future he sees will bring the far right and the far left everything both sides want all at the same time. Abraham said the exact same thing.

I’m so reassured by that. And I’m eager to see it unfold, knowing my Broader Perspective was right all along.

[transamorousnetwork]

Why Happiness Is Our World Changing Super Power

It seems crazy to say in this divided world we live in, especially when it comes to trans people, but the evidence is overwhelming: The happier we are, the better the world goes. 

This is especially true for transgender and trans-attracted people. After all, we came into the world with world-changing intentions. That’s why we come in completely outside the “normal” box: because in our being we offer world transformation.

And when we align with happiness that is our natural state, then not only does our life go well shining like a beacon of how good life can be for others, the world gets bathed in that light as well. As a result, the world changes for the better.

But if we’re poopy about what we see in the world we come into, we just create more of that. Then we start believing all that we see is “true”. And then, we’re in trouble.

Because when we start trading in “true” we’ve lost our way. We came here to shape the future, not create more of what is; more of what is “true”.

We shape the future for ourselves, our friends and family and for the world around us through our happiness. Most people don’t realize that, especially trans and trans-attracted people. It’s why so many of us and other people are mostly unhappy. But when we remember who and what we are, life gets really good.

Let’s take a look today at both how and why happiness is our world-changing super power.

Let’s start with an accurate story

Imagine, if you would, that you have been in existence since the beginning of time. Way, way way back then, nothing existed; only you and potential. So out of that potential you created all that is. And in that bang, you watched things unfold.

As they unfolded, you saw things coming to be. You also saw things going out of being. As those things came and went, you knew there could be more. And so you created more. That “more” human science calls evolution. It’s not that, but whatever.

As more came into being, eventually more and more capable forms of more emerged. That included conscious life. And as that life expanded into more, you noticed something interesting; something invigorating: everything that came after what came before was better.

And those things that preceded the more, as they reemerged into the potential of All That Is, those things returned to their innate oneness of All That Is! 

More, more, more…

The more this cycle continued, the more varied life got. And the more varied it got, the more complex things got. Despite all that complexity however, things always became more. And as all that “moreness” happened, you saw that it was all good, because no matter how things turned out, the things, as they turned out, either became more, or they reemerged into the potential of All That Is. 

So imagine, now, here you are billions of human years later. All the things that have become more, all the things that have become and returned to potential, and all the things that have happened in that transformation of more becoming more, continues. 

How would you feel about all of this happening over billions and billions of years? Would you be unhappy? Of course not. All you could see happening was becoming more, more complex more interesting…more a representative of what you are; an eternal being. And over those billions and billions of years as things worked out, you, yourself, would have become more too. And in that moreness, watching all that more happening, you would become more and more optimistic, more and more surprised.

You would become more and more delighted. And more and more eager. Your eagerness, delight, surprise and optimism would turn to appreciation for all that has come before. And that appreciation would express itself for all that has come and all that is yet to come. 

Reveling in your trans/trans-attraction status

Then in your curiosity and joy, you’d want to become part of the moreness. You’d want to participate; see what it’s like in the “first person”. And so you’d put yourself into the process, becoming things, beings and elements that are making the more possible. In that experience, you’d experience terror, joy, pain, loss, happiness, triumph and more. And all the while as you moved in and out of those “first person” experiences, your appreciation would expand. It, those emotions, would become more too.

What do you think that process would evolve to, that emotional process of becoming more? Of course it would evolve into even more powerful emotions: love, being paramount.

That is what you are. You are pure love, experiencing for a brief time, a human experience. You as love energy are wanting to participate eternally in what you got started eons ago. And, as you participate, you want more. You want different experiences than those that came before. You want experiences that haven’t happened before. This is the more you crave.

So it makes sense, from this perspective that you’d come into the world as transgender or trans-attracted; two aspects you perhaps have never experienced before; as expressions of more.

Now, from that eternal perspective, would you be all poopy about being trans? Would you worry about friends or family disowning you or misgendering you? Of course not. Would you worry about people thinking you’re gay because you’re trans-attracted? Would YOU think you’re gay? Nope! You’d relish in your being. You’d be excited about your trans status. Everything you experience as a trans-attracted person would light your fire!

Happy while human 

Well dear reader, what you’ve just read is what you are. But you’re only that when you, as the “first person” experiences their life in the same way that eternal being that is you experiences it. You have the option to not experience it that way, because you gave yourself free will. But when you don’t experience it that way, then you feel awful!

That awful feeling is on purpose because you want to feel your eternal knowing. You want to experience your eternal knowing because you know when you do that, you have access to something eminently powerful.

And that eminently powerful thing is that which you are. That’s right, you are the eminently powerful thing. And as that you can create any experience you want, because you’ve created everything else in your experience in your desire for more.

But accessing all the power you are requires you being that powerful thing. You do that by embracing your happiness. Happiness is our super power because when we embrace it and live in it, then we align ourselves with that full-blown powerful being that we are, yes, even while we’re experiencing human life.

So being happy while you’re a human is critical. It literally is the process by which all you want will come to you. This power is not magic though. Something important must be understood to enjoy the power you are. We’ll talk about that next.

^^Reaching for happiness allows all we want to happen.

It’s where “reality” comes from

Remember: we all come into the world having forgotten. Until we remember, we’re still using all that immense power to create. Everything surrounding us is our creation. That includes family members who refuse to acknowledge you as a woman as well as those who might be really angry if you come out as trans-attracted.

Where else do you think these people come from?

Situations are exactly the same. They reflect the confusion in you. Or they reflect the conflict within you. If you don’t want to be trans, but are, life will reflect that conflict back to you. You’ll attract experiences of people hating or rising up against trans people. Other things might happen too. You might lose your job or feel you must quit. You might even experience physical attacks or be ridiculed while using the women’s bathroom.

How else do you think you’re experiencing these things?

The problem with thinking they are separate from you and happening because there are people in the world who hate what you are is, when you think those thoughts, they run counter to what’s happening. What’s happening is you’re creating these experiences in order to clean up your distorted beliefs. The experiences are true! They are happening! But they don’t have to happen.

They will though and they’ll continue until you accept all that you are and feel appreciation for it.

^^Physical reality is a reflection of our inner state. (Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash)

A powerful sentence

When you accept all that you are, you’re primed then to come in to appreciation of who you are. Not appreciation for being trans or trans-attracted, although that’s a great first step. I’m talking about appreciating you as cause in the matter; as the originator of all you experience. 

It is in that appreciation that you step into your power. After all, the following sentence can be seen as positive or negative:

I create everything I experience!

Most people, especially trans women, see that as a negative sentence. They feel blame in it or that their situation is their fault because of it. That’s because they feel themselves as hapless victims subject to people making laws restricting their rights and freedoms.

People who know what I’m writing about see that sentence in an empowering way. They see the opportunity in it. They realize nothing can happen to them that they don’t create. Then they realize they can create anything they want. And that’s the power of knowing who and what we are as eternal beings.

It’s available right now

There’s no greater power than our happiness. But in order to experience happiness we must first clear out all that creation we’ve created from our disempowered perspective. The one that has us seeing that statement above as an indictment as opposed to the powerful realization it is.

So it takes a while to make permanent the state of happiness I’m writing about. The great thing is, the happiness can come immediately. At first it won’t hang around for long because of bogus beliefs we have cultivated for as long as we’ve been alive. But in time, as we soothe those old beliefs, the happiness hangs around longer and longer.

Then, as that happens, really wonderful life experiences start happening. As I’ve written above, life is a reflection. It reflects back to us, in the form of people, circumstances and events, our inner state. And if our inner state is mainly happy, then our life must reflect that. 

And it will.

I write every week about how to cultivate that state of being. I also share examples of clients doing exactly what you’ve read, and producing evidence proving everything you’ve read to themselves. So you don’t have to just take my words for it. Evidence abounds proving what you’ve read is accurate.

So the question is, how long are you going to be unhappy, anxious, and insecure? I would suggest you stop right now. Stop and cultivate your super power: happiness.

[transamorousnetwork]

The Confusing, Surprising Struggle Of Trans-Attraction

Massive confusion reigns within the minds of trans-attracted men. Such men struggle with beliefs that torment them. They think they’re gay. Some worry about what their friends and family will say if such people knew about their trans-attraction. Others worry about losing things they need. Their job for example.

So when their life gives them no choice but to accept their trans-attraction, many of these men struggle in confusion. It’s like they feel they have nowhere to turn. It’s no wonder so many are on the down-low. Nor is it a wonder that some think about killing themselves.

Just as many trans women do.

It’s the same matter. Trans women struggle with confusion as well. They too turn to society for validation. It’s why many, many trans women hold up cis women as their ideal of what it means to be a woman.

In other words, trans-attracted men and trans women have so much in common, pairings between the two could provide a nurturing, safe space for both parties. Why they don’t provide that space for one another is no surprise either. Both sides blame one another for their experience.

This story is about a trans-attracted man who also is a Transamorous Network client. It’s about how he’s working through his confusion and struggle. It shows how accurate “you create your reality through the stories you tell” is. It also shows how, when a person learns how they create their reality, then uses that knowledge to their advantage, amazing things happen.

Let’s dive in. 

Getting unstuck

Like many clients, this guy once struggled with suicidal thoughts. Those thoughts came from disempowering interpretations of his early life experiences. None of those past experiences were bad. Experience never is. Instead, they revealed to him at an early age that he was not “straight”.

There are not a lot of straight people on the planet. But because of fear of being something other than straight, people pigeon-hole themselves into that label. Trans women do the same thing in seeing themselves as women. They compare themselves to the cis ideal, then demean themselves when they don’t measure up.

For this client, his fear of being gay, and his negative interpretation of what happened in those experiences, built negative momentum within him. This client, who I’ll call John, made all those negative interpretations about himself. As a result, he hated himself. In time, those interpretations became beliefs about himself, which is why he wanted to kill himself.

Wanting to kill one’s self is a natural thing. It happens when someone builds up negative momentum born of negative interpretations that eventually become negative beliefs. Those beliefs then create real world experiences proving them “true”. When that happens, those experiences become more and more one’s reality. This process happens on any subject.

When a person finds themselves stuck in extremely strong, negative beliefs, especially about themselves, wanting to end it all often is the best outcome. Especially if the person can’t find a way out of that torment. And many can’t.

Even so, everyone can get unstuck. They came into human form for a reason. That reason didn’t include checking out early, even though some do. John is someone who found his way out.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves…

Projection is common

Like many people stuck in self-hatred, John projected his self-hatred out into the world. Projection happens a lot in humanity. It makes sense if you think about it. Very few people realize where their external reality comes from. They don’t know the external reality they see comes from their inner state of being. It makes sense then that if a person doesn’t know their external reality springs from their inner state – thoughts and beliefs – then rather than doing something about their thoughts and beliefs, they’ll blame their external reality for their troubles.

That often includes blaming other people. That’s what some trans women are doing when they blame “chasers” for their inability to meet a partner. And it’s what some trans-attracted men do when they say they can’t find a wholesome trans woman.

^^A trans-attracted man blaming his troubles in finding a trans girlfriend on the fact that “so many trans people are “pros” – meaning sex workers. But his problem is his belief that this belief is true.

But people, like everything else in our lives, are reflections too. Versions of people we meet reflect back to us what’s going on in us. So if we think all men are chasers, for example, we only meet those kinds of men. Men, if you think all trans women are pros, that’s what you’re going to find. Yes, it’s that simple.

The target of John’s projection was cis women. He blamed a lot of what he didn’t like on the fact that cis women wouldn’t give him attention. John didn’t realize cis women spurning him was happening because he spurned himself and because he is trans-attracted and would be better off focusing on trans women. So he blamed cis women for rejecting him.

It’s vibration, momentum and attraction…not effort

While projecting his hatred onto cis women, John also wanted cis women. More directly, he wanted sex. But his trans-attraction caused him to meet cis women who were equally as unsure as he was about what he wanted. John’s trans attraction is a part of what and who he is. Just like a trans woman’s trans-ness is a part of who and what she is. 

But he’s confused as to what he really wants. He knows he really, really is drawn to trans women. Because he questions his trans attraction, however, he tries to be with cis women as a way of figuring himself out.

That’s a problem.

John also wants sex. And he’s confused about whether he wants sex with cis women, or sex with trans women, even though he experiences mind-blowing sex with trans women. His desire for sex with a cis woman is a further attempt to convince himself that he’s not trans-attracted. 

Of course, cis woman aren’t stupid. But more important, they are as sensitive to vibration as any other person. So when John tries to convince himself he’s straight, by trying to get a cis woman to have sex with, they always can feel John’s inner struggle. Every time he tries to woo cis women’s attention, therefore, they, in his words, reject him. This is why John hates cis women.

It’s even more complicated

The women he approaches are also matches to John’s confusion. And, they are mirrors. They reflect all of John’s self-rejection back to him.

Not realizing all this, John started paying (a lot) for “the art of seduction” coaching. A particularly popular offerer of that content caught his attention. Before long, John was thousands of dollars into this approach.

But it never worked for him. Women kept spurning him.

I tell clients many things over and over. So much so I sound like a broken record, I know. But as one client said recently “sometimes it takes time for what you tell us to move from our heads to our hearts.” I totally get that because I was once in my clients’ shoes. So when you read what you’re about to read, I get that it won’t likely sink in at first. Ready? Here it comes:

Taking action doesn’t make ANYTHING happen. Everything happening is a result of vibration, momentum and attraction.

This explains why John’s indulgence in “seduction coaching” wasn’t working. All the action in the world, all the money in the world, can’t overcome the negative momentum of his persistent negative beliefs. Abraham puts it plainly:

Misogyny: projected self hatred

It’s no wonder then, that John’s inability to get what he wanted through “seduction coaching” deepened his self-hatred. It seemed the more he tried, the worse he got rejected. At his wits end, he discovered The Transamorous Network.

It took a while, but, as a client, John discovered several things about himself. One thing he realized was he had turned into a misogynist. He doesn’t like admitting this, but it’s accurate. In fact, I’d argue most misogynists have some self hatred going on. Just as many, many transphobes have self hatred happening inside them, often because such people are themselves either transgender or trans-attracted. So misogynists project their self hatred onto women in the same way transphobes project their self-hatred onto trans people.

But…that’s another story.

One day, John expressed wanting to try to go out with a cis woman as a way of figuring his way through his confusion. This was after a long period of focusing on other priorities through his client work. I suggested he do so as a way of seeing how he was doing soothing his old beliefs. I told him the woman he would meet would be a perfect match to where he was now in soothing his self hatred. He’d learn a lot too, I told him.

Boy, did he learn a lot!

The woman he met, let’s call her Meg, was quite a bit older. They decided to go on a hike. John was super clear with Meg about his disinterest in dating or even a relationship. He also was up front about his trans attraction, which seemed to not bother Meg. John told her he was exploring and really looking for a casual hook-up. Meg told him she was open to that, but she wasn’t ready just yet.

The hike went well. At the end of the day though, Meg hadn’t contacted John. When John reached out, Meg said in a text that she enjoyed her time with him but didn’t think they were a match.

This sent John into a tail spin. It triggered all his past beliefs about himself and, through projection, about women. Over the next four days, John doubled down on these old beliefs making himself more and more miserable. As far as John was concerned, Meg was, in his words now, a crazy bitch, a cunt and liar and more. All the while John felt more and more unwanted, rejected and miserable.

What John had trouble understanding over those days was the following. John wasn’t miserable because of what Meg did or didn’t do. John was miserable and angry, for sure. But those emotions told John something he really wanted to know. They told him beliefs he held about himself and women are not the same beliefs his Broader Perspective knows about those subjects.

This is an important bit of information and I’ll dive a bit deeper next because it’s important to understand. Knowing this information also helps us appreciate what happened next.

The valuable message of our emotions

Physical reality is, as I wrote above, a reflection. But a lot of people don’t know this. They also don’t know they come equipped with a hugely beneficial tool to help them move through this reflection towards everything they want. That tool is their emotions.

Every human is, of course, more than human. We are all eternal beings. We’re also much more than can fit into a single human body. So when we become human, we put a portion of us into the human body. Meanwhile the vast majority of what we are remains in nonphysical; the place from which we come.

When we sort of split ourselves up like that, that part of us remaining outside our bodies enjoys a birds eye view of our lives. That part of us can see all the choices we might, will and will not make. It sees the alternate probable future realities flowing from all those choices. Yes, even the ones we will not make. All of these futures fulfill our main purpose for being, which is expanding All That Is and ourselves in the process. So our Broader Perspective is keenly, always, seeing what’s happening as uber positive.

It also delights in wherever we are in the moment because it can see how where we are is the perfect place for us at that moment. So it always sees our present moment in the most positive light. When we don’t see our present moment that way, we feel negative emotion.

So emotions help us integrate the part of us in our bodies with the part of us that remains where we come from. I’ll share why that integration is important next.

It’s all about inspired action

Because our Broader Perspective enjoys that birds eye view, and because it knows what we want at all times, it constantly sends us messages – clues or gut feelings – which will lead us to what we want. But to receive those messages, we must open ourselves to perceiving them. We do that by integrating ourselves, matching our perspective of life in our physical bodies to the perspective of our life our Broader Perspective has. Do that and we can “hear” the messages.

Follow the messages and our life unfolds in a seeming magical way. Everything we want comes easily, often with no effort. Remember what you read above about action? Action doesn’t make things happen. What action does do is, when we take it, that action positions us in the reality coordinates of time and space where the final unfolding of what we want appears.

Inspired action is action taken as a result of hearing our Broader Perspective’s messages. When we get a message and we follow it immediately, we rendezvous with a delightful unfolding. But All That Is is always in motion. So if we delay, if we hesitate when we get a message, then we miss the rendezvous. Taking inspired action immediately then, is key.

So emotions are guides. They help us know, at any given moment, how aligned we are with our Broader Perspective. That tells us whether we can hear messages we send ourselves. And, when we hear the message and take the inspired action, we rendezvous with the ongoing Charmed Life I write about here. The life where everything happens with very little effort.

Let’s turn back to John’s story now.

A huge gift given to himself

It took a long time for John to understand what I was telling him when I told him, in response to his vitriol, that Meg was actually an angel he created for himself to see how his beliefs are making himself miserable. That his misery, which is an emotion, was a huge gift he was sending himself.

Can you see how it was a huge gift?

And for sure, Meg was an angel. Another way of putting it is, Meg was a reality John created for himself as a reflection, so that he can be aware of and do something about his beliefs. She was, what we call a cooperative component to John getting what he wants. For he can’t get what he wants if he’s not integrated with his Broader Perspective. And “misery” tells him he’s not integrated!

So his experience with Meg was a huge gift.

As I told him before, Meg was also a perfect match. She was unsure of what she wanted, as much as he was. She reflected his self-rejection back to him by expressing no future interest in him. Again, it wasn’t something John wanted to hear. I’m so glad therefore that the Universe stepped in and offered John an experience that brought that message home.

An astonishing unfolding

John felt a bit better after our talk. It took a while, but we’re all eternal, so how long it takes doesn’t matter. One day he got the inspired action to go to Whole Foods. He didn’t realize this was inspired action though. He just thought he was running an errand. That perspective was about to completely change.

While shopping, a little girl came up to John and, as he describes it, started a delightful conversation with him. John described the experience as “sweet” in a text he sent me just after the encounter.

But what really surprised me was what John texted next. Mind you, he was feeling much better after venting his vitriol at someone (me) who could channel that energy to his benefit rather than amplify it. Here’s his interpretation of that Whole Foods rendezvous:

Isn’t that an astonishing interpretation? Of course, when John shared that he couldn’t help but feel extremely positive emotion about himself, about the girl and about the experience. That’s because this interpretation was spot on. It also was exactly why the Universe brought him and the child together: so that he could further soothe his bogus beliefs. Beliefs about women and about himself.

John said he didn’t have words to express how delightful that experience was. He felt a shift happen in him, something that he hadn’t felt before. And he couldn’t believe it happened the way it did; through an experience with a child.

What happened next surprised John even more.

Dreams are critical

Over the next several nights, John had a series of dreams. These dreams took him to new heights of wonder and amazement.

Dream work is a big part of what I offer clients. That’s because dreams are a big part of life. Ninety-five percent of what’s necessary for us to have what we want happens in nonphysical. “Dream state” is another way of describing nonphysical. When we dream, we leave our bodies in bed. We join all the cooperative components in nonphysical. There we witness and interact with those components as they assemble everything needed — people, events, resources — so our desires unfold.

The reason I include dream work is because conscious awareness of what’s happening when we sleep builds confidence and trust that all we want is happening on our behalf. Conscious awareness of dream activity is also extremely satisfying.

Another reason dream work is important is because it makes us aware that we are far more than our physical bodies. We become acquainted with all the other dimensions, the alternate and probable realities, in which we are active, just as we are active here in this reality.

Acquainting ourselves with our broader activities also lessens our fear of death and increases our belief that we are eternal. So dream work is a critical part of the practice.

John’s crucible

I ask clients that they record their dreams so we can interpret them together. This helps clients become more familiar with the dream world. It also softens their resistance to perceiving dreams.

Everyone dreams, but for important reasons, most people don’t know they dream. Many who do often forget them the moment they wake.

John fits in this category. Even so, he realized over several dreams in the ensuing days that he was sending himself an important message as evidenced in his text:

In our next session John and I marveled over these dreams. They were cluing him in on the process he’s going through, which very much feels to him like a crucible. Interestingly, John had never heard of the word before this. A crucible is something, usually a process something or someone goes through, that includes a severe trial. And through that trial a purification happens.

So John realized these dreams were about soothing himself around the idea that he’s doing the work. Doing the work and benefitting from the work he’s doing. John was stunned in how applicable his dreams were. And he marveled the whole session about how well he was doing.

The unfolding in totality

I would love to end this story here, but that would be disingenuous. For as much as this experience moved John, he’s still struggling with reality as created by him, according to his still dominant negative belief momentum.

To understand what happened next, we have to recap what happened over the week I’m sharing about. John took my advice to test out his current vibrational state on the subject of his self-hatred and projecting that self-hatred onto cis women, by going out with one. That experience matched him with a person perfectly matching his vibration, Meg, who reflected perfectly back to John where he currently is.

John struggled over the next few days, but was able to finally soothe some of his negative momentum on the subject of himself and cis women. Soothing himself, he came into alignment with his Broader Perspective, which nudged him to Whole Foods where he rendezvoused with a fabulous amplification of the ongoing learning, which came in the form of a child.

Meanwhile, John further soothed himself in dreams in which he realized he was moving through a crucible.

But the Universe and his Broader Perspective weren’t done. In the marvelous, astonishing experience with that child, John integrated even more with his Broader Perspective. And so, the Universe brought him another gift.

A sick thrill

As we expand, the Universe will deliver more opportunity to expand even further. This is the never-ending process of expansion for ourselves and All That Is. It can’t be stated strongly enough: this is a NEVER-ENDING PROCESS. It’s that process of never-ending expansion that gives birth to our eternity.

John was in a strong post-expansion state of awareness in his realization of how profound his Whole Foods rendezvous was. So, John, the Universe and his Broader Perspective served up another opportunity for expansion. What that looked like was a surfacing of a series of old beliefs John has which also must be soothed for continued expansion.

These beliefs involved two subjects John has a lot of negative momentum around. One has to do with friends who, in John’s telling “rejected”, “disrespected” and “marginalized” him during what he would say was a time of need in his life. The other has to do with how he felt, again, disrespected, used and marginalized, by a trans woman for whom he has extremely strong positive feelings.

But John didn’t see the surfacing of these beliefs, and their associated negative emotion, as an expansion opportunity. Instead, he let these beliefs trigger even more powerful, negative emotions. Until he found himself in the depths of powerlessness, grief and, again, self-hatred:

ohn sent the text above two days after the Whole Foods event, the dreams, and after doing exactly what his text described over those two days.

It’s good we’re eternal

Many clients struggle with this. This “you create your reality” business is serious. It can be fun too, thrilling even, when you see everything you want happening with no effort on your part.

But until one builds evidence of that happening, it can be a real slog.

We can’t create a new reality without soothing the reality we’ve created. And if that created reality is extremely negative, then it’s going to take a while to soothe. And, that reality will keep asserting itself, not as punishment, but because of momentum. Which is why it’s a good idea to see it reasserting itself as a positive thing.

This is another reason why it’s a good thing we’re eternal. There’s no rush to John soothing his hold momentum, wherein he’s numbing himself and feeling suicidal. He has all of eternity to do it. And he is doing it.

The empowering news is, he’s the only one who can do it. No one else will or can stand in his way and prevent the work from happening. No one but him. For just as he’s the only one who can do it, he’s also the only one who can keep himself from doing it. That applies to every client. It also applies to every person.

No one prevents any of us from having what we want. We all do that to ourselves. That’s why it’s so important to get that our reality springs from our thoughts and beliefs. Armed with that knowledge, we can create any reality we want. Everyone can. Even trans and trans-attracted people.

[transamorousnetwork]

I Had Sex With A Post-OP Trans Woman

What it is like to be inside a post-op trans woman’s vagina? What does it feel like? Is the medical miracle comparable to the real thing?

Not long ago, I got answers via an unexpected late-night invitation: a trans woman I know traveled to Thailand for her “bottom surgery”, recovered, and now wanted feedback on her new nether regions. She wanted me to take a test drive.

I was willing, if she was willing to take the feedback (and some other things) for what it was: my honest, unvarnished opinion. It was a hook up, no doubt, not something I do lightly or even frequently. But Jane, let’s call her, is a familiar person and I wanted to help. She’s also smart, kind, politically active, young and pretty. In the least, we’d have good conversation as always. So I jumped in a Lyft and headed to Southeast Portland.

I’m writing this for you guys interested in trans women who may not have had sex yet with one, or maybe have, but with a pre-op trans woman. Or maybe you have had sex with a post-op trans woman. If you have, I’d love to hear your experience.

Here comes mine…

Photo by David Travis on Unsplash

First, upfront disclosure: I prefer pre-op trans women for obvious reasons. Before you girls start hating, realize this is MY preference. It’s way more than about the plumbing alone and if you don’t like it or understand it, go after what you want rather than railing against me. I know my preference is natural. Yours are too. So go for what you want and leave mine alone. 😊

I didn’t realize Jane had a vagina until after my Lyft had long ago dropped me at my destination and departed towards its next fare. I sat there across from Jane on a tan couch positioned oddly in the center of her apartment, amid boxes, panties, cat litter and other assorted strewables. The place looked like two airlines crashed in her apartment spewing passengers’ private things wall-to-wall. Shit was everywhere…except maybe where it should have been.

Jane offered a good excuse: She’s packing for a cross-town move. Why she thought about getting vaginal feedback now crossed my mind later, long after the test drive. But in the moment…well, let’s just say I was focused on more important things.

The point being, $35 into a $60 round trip Lyft fare, it was too late by the time she told me she had a vagina to decline the offer. Not that I would have had she told me ahead of time.

I’m not a hypocrite, so being where I am in my own development stemming from practicing what I preach at The Transamorous Network, I had no expectations what Jane’s booty call would include. She simply asked “want to come over and have sex with me?” That was it.

I had no idea what Jane had in her pants either. I knew from lengthly conversations that she saw herself “as a woman”. My awareness extended only that far. Besides, I know plenty of trans women who see themselves as women, but have penises.

As I said, Jane also is pretty, smart and fun to be around. So I didn’t mind if nothing happened, if she had a cock or something else. No specifics significantly registered. I only thought it would be nice to see her, sex or no sex.

After acknowledging this was a booty call and with small talk catchup behind us, the night got more…interesting. A fairly rigorous conversation followed about “the act”: her desires, how she liked it, what she was into, etc.

I made sure everything about to happen was consensual, without making it weird, even though I thought about whipping out my iPhone and recording us both acknowledging a consensual pairing.

Most of our pre-foreplay intellectual banter concerned Jane’s preoccupation with my pre-op preference.

But it’s not relevant

Photo by Dainis Graveris on www.sexualalpha.com

Like some trans girls, Jane is hyper-sensitive over men who prefer pre-op trans women. I get that sensitivity. While some men can and probably do get off being objectified — by trans women and others — sometimes for their endowments, their six pack, or money, for example, most trans women I know aren’t too keen on a guy liking them only for what they’re packing.

Some men do objectify pre-op trans women. But most of the men I work with through The Transamorous Network want something more than sex with trans women. They’re rational enough in their desires though to know what they like, and I encourage self-love, honesty and integrity in all my clients.

Desires, I tell them, are to be fulfilled. So long as my clients tell stories consistent with what they want, what they want will fulfill themselves. Same with trans women and their desires. Planet Earth contains enough time and space for everyone’s desire. One needn’t criticize what another wants just because one doesn’t want that.

If a trans woman doesn’t want to be objectified for having a penis, she won’t so long as she tells stories consistent with what she wants (being seen for all she is) instead of what she doesn’t want (being seen only as having a penis). 

So trans women: Go get what you want. Leave others to their desires.

By the time we talked through Jane’s triggered story about my preference (which was irrelevant) sex was a foregone conclusion. No one was backing out, neither Jane, nor I, nor my curiosity, nor her feedback desires.

I had never been with a post-op trans woman. This would be an interesting anthropological adventure! What happened next was….

Clinical…and about what I thought it would be

Photo by Dainis Graveris on www.sexualalpha.com

I should also add here that I’ve led a robust sex life, filled with many, many women, some men, trans people (yes, trans men too) and other more advant garde experiences I needn’t share. The point is, I’ve been around body parts. Including LOTS of vaginas.

I also have a fair understanding about how doctors perform the delicate surgical origamic alchemy transmogrifying a penis into a vagina. It’s a medical miracle, frankly, that it functions at all.

I’ve heard second hand from trans women that their artificial vag works just great, so well these coital doppelgängers work, men can’t tell the difference they say.

Yet never had I heard men describe their experience being in one. This was my first-person opening, a slot inviting my entry, so to speak. So, with relish, I took my shirt off. Then my pants…

Looking back I’d say it was what I thought it might be. Our pairing carried a tone more clinical than amorous. Imagine having sex with someone knowing researchers watched through a two-way mirror you knew was a two-way mirror. Or you had sex with a fellow researcher, while each of you remained mostly in clinical mindsets while fucking…

Going with that clinical vibe, here’s what I observed:

It was not a vagina

Photo by Dainis Graveris on www.sexualalpha.com

As much as a trans woman might say it is, it isn’t. Once inside, even with lube, it felt like a crevice designed with no thought as to the shape of a penis. It felt as though someone opened a hole in a body, but didn’t bother to contour it in a way to make it vaginal-like.

Unlike a vagina, no fleshy folds awaited inside to coddle me to orgasm. Instead it felt like rubbing against exactly what it was: epidermis. Not only was it too shallow and thus most unwelcoming for my length, it also featured insufficient diameter. Even with lube it felt the whole affair would rip my penis skin off, like the skin of a grape, were any intensity applied.

As we both undulated ourselves while in the act, I felt an uncomfortable hardness. No, it wasn’t my erect penis, rather it was a bone… I mused as to whether that was Jane’s pelvic bone, which made being inside her an uncomfortable experience in addition to feeling near flayed.

Also unlike a vagina, there appeared to be two bulbous, fleshy forms just above and inside the “vaginal” canal, only slightly protruding, like a tiny prolapsed anus. It felt exactly like a little penis peeking out of a cave. When Jane came, I felt ejaculate shoot from between those fleshy forms, much like ejaculate from an erect penis.

Speaking of penises, somewhere in my pelvis lies a muscle. When flexed, my erect penis, rises and falls without manual assistance. I don’t know whether a vaginoplasty, the medical term for “turning a penis into a vagina”, includes dismantling that muscle.

In Jane’s case, whenever she moved her hips as though to thrust, I felt the two fleshy forms aforementioned move…not vaginal like, but like a penis. That movement and the discharge gave me the distinct impression that, despite its transformation, and no matter how emasculated it may have become, a penis was, in fact, still present and accounted for, but now literally hood-winked into appearing as a vagina.

Finding my way around the vaginal exterior confounded me as well. It resembled no vagina I’m familiar with. I couldn’t find the clear and pleasantly erect, welcoming clitoris typically shrouded in its fleshy hood near the vaginal apex, even when Jane insisted it was there and vigorously played herself to orgasm.

Despite our mutual arousal the whole time, the experience was less than satisfactory.

I shared my thoughts in detail with Jane afterwards in candid, no uncertain terms. Not surprisingly, she took it in stride, listened intently while taking mental notes. She thanked me for the honesty and said other men she’s been with said it was just like a vagina. I don’t know these men, so I can’t speculate at all about their prior experiences. I only speak from mine.

Which include understanding…

Photo by Dainis Graveris on www.sexualalpha.com

I know trans women don’t get vaginoplasty, vulvoplasty, SRS, or “bottom surgery” – whatever you want to call it – for the pleasure and satisfaction of the men. I presume the main reason some (not all) trans women go to such lengths is so their exterior decor matches their interior identity blueprint. They want to look how they feel…to them, most of all. They want to look in the mirror and see only that which matches how they feel. Many feel strong rejection of their penis.

I get that.

My opinion and experience therefore doesn’t matter as far as trans women go. If a trans woman wants such a procedure, I say whatever makes you happy. Maybe somewhere on the list for such women, a future partner’s experience counts. Maybe not.

Still, the following might be helpful.

One of my former clients, a senior medical professional who runs a major health organization, is familiar with vaginoplasty and vulvoplasty procedures. When I described my experience my client said my observations were “clinically and anatomically spot on”.

“It’s extremely difficult,” my client said. “To create something where there is nothing. Most literature in the field says results are marginal and often dissatisfying” in both form and function. He continued by saying invariably partners don’t experience satisfaction with such procedures and that it is routine that subjects return for repeated modifications.

“This is a major procedure and in my opinion not worth the risk and expense because once done, no matter how unsatisfied, it can’t be reversed. And at this point, the results are not satisfactory,” He added.

We both agreed over the reasons, the stories, which drive some trans women to seek a visage matching their ideals. So my client says such trans women should seek the most capable provider possible, with no concern for expense, so they are happy with the outcome. Even then, he says, they may have unsatisfactory results.

I have a hard time believing guys, especially those with ample vaginal experience, would find such a surrogate satisfactory, let alone pleasurable. My client, with medical experience agrees: “Any man who has had sex with cis-women will know right away what they’ve entered is not a vagina.”

I asked him whether there are skeletal differences between men and women in the pelvic area, explaining my experience with what I thought was Jane’s pelvic bone. 

“Indeed,” He said. “The female pelvic arch, where the genitals are, is wider and higher than the male pelvis. So it’s highly likely you were grinding against her “male” pelvic bone while trying to find the right angle inside her “vagina”.”

Registerednursern.com confirmed this:

The subpubic angle is the angle produced by the inferior rami of the pubis, which creates the pubic arch. In women, the subpubic angle will generally be equal to or greater than 80 degrees (obtuse), which is similar to the shape of the letter “L”. In men, the pubic arch is narrower, creating a subpubic angle that is usually less than or equal to 70 degrees (acute), making it a similar angle to an upside down “V.”

That upside down V was exactly what I bumped up against. Here, look at this drawing for clarification, which also comes form registerednursern.com.

^^Take note of differences in pelvic arch location and shape between a male pelvis (left) and female pelvis (right). The male pelvis arch is lower AND far more narrower, meaning, you’re going to hit it while fucking. Especially during missionary style. Photo: registerednursern.com.

“We’re just not at the point where that kind of surgery can produce convincing results,” My client said. “And it’s highly unlikely we’ll be able to create from scratch a faithful replica to what it feels like entering a vagina.”

So it goes…

Photo by Taras Chernus on Unsplash

I remember one day, decades ago, accepting a quite young trans man’s invitation to hook up, before Craigslist kiboshed its personals section. When I arrived at a St.Johns apartment, a beautiful, pierced young person with a full face of stubble welcomed me. When he took off his clothes, he had had not a stitch of surgery. Everything “girl” remained untouched. Beauty rivaling Venus stood before me. Venus with a beard and short hair.

As I feast my young eyes upon them, pang of sorrow accompanied my awe. I knew some day this guy would likely go under the knife, irreparably altering what I experienced as a perfect human specimen.

And yet, beauty IS in each beholder’s eye. What must be done must be.

I’m glad I had this experience with Jane, even though what she has holds no candle to a natural vagina. Not in my opinion anyway. Guys: Whatever you call it, this procedure has a long way to go. Natural vaginas, as yet, have no rivals. If a vagina is what you want, stick to cis-women.

I know my experience is but one data point, with a doctor’s endorsement of sorts. Still, I hope what I experienced was not state of the art. If so, it’s not worth the money in my opinion, and the state of the art is…disappointing.

I’m glad I prefer, and get the opportunity to enjoy, penis-equipped women, who are, like me, happy with what they have. If you like what I like, I assure you there are at least as many women out there who want to keep their penis, as there are numbers of us willing to go to bed with and love out loud penis-equipped women. Go for what you want.

Don’t worry about people condemning your preference. Your preference isn’t theirs so their opinion doesn’t matter. Let no one talk you into compromising. Especially rants from trans women. They don’t know you. They aren’t you. You are you, be that.

And for those girls who feel they must get bottom surgery: you go for what you want too. But please don’t let impatience or economics lead you towards regret. What I’ve found is the doppelgänger turned out to be a poorly-conceived and executed facsimile. My advice for men again: if you want a vagina-equipped woman, the cis-variety is the best bet.

[transamorousnetwork]

How To Attract Your Ideal Transgender Woman: Create Her!

Recently I jumped on a LGBTQ dating website. Now, if you’ve read this blog before, you know I don’t encourage people use dating websites to find their partners. It’s a waste of money and doesn’t work for most people.

So why was I on one? Because a client was using one I hadn’t been familiar with. I wanted to see what it was like. I wanted to see what it was like so I could relate to his experience.

But it was terrible. I’m not going to go into why it was terrible. Instead, I’m going to pivot right here and share why I’m writing this post. I’m writing this post because of something that happened with me this past week. What happened shows why I don’t encourage clients to use dating websites. Again, they’re terrible, costly and don’t work for most people.

Instead, I encourage people to use their stories to create their love lives. Doing so aligns one with the infinite resources of the Universe. It’s way more fun, completely free and, if one is patient, one can experience the surprising and delightful way in which the Universe fulfills any desire.

This past week that happened to me. And that’s what this post is about.

Let’s dive in.

Ten years in the making

This story will sound unbelievable. But every time the universe makes something happen in the way it does, it seems unbelievable. That’s because most of us don’t believe the Universe is intelligent, conscious and aware. They also don’t believe the Universe listens to and answers/delivers on every want. And, because most don’t believe these things, they don’t see the Universe doing these things all the time.

I see them though. I see them because I believe it. And that’s why I can share this absolutely true story.

The story starts more than 10 years ago. That’s right, it’s a long story. All the ways in which the Universe fulfills our desires usually takes a while. It can actually take only a few days. But we humans introduce things that delay results. Usually we do that through disbelief. Sometimes we do that through beliefs that counter what we want. For example, we may believe we don’t deserve what we want. Or we might believe someone else has what we want, thus blocking us from getting it. There are many stories – beliefs – we tell ourselves that delay, sometimes permanently, what we want.

I’ve soothed many of those stories, which is why what happened happened. The soothing is why it took 10 years.

What happened was an absolutely gorgeous, smart, wonderful, trans woman reached out to me for a bootie call. I’ll call her Selma. Now Selma happened to be a trans woman I interviewed on the The Transamorous Network Podcast. Back then, more than 10 years ago, I thought she was so hot. But I am also an ethical person. So I wasn’t going to come on to a podcast guest. That’s just not me.

What I did do back then though was lightly think about what it would be like to be with her…

The Universe makes it happen 

But I didn’t fixate on that. I just figured back then that it was just a nice fantasy to think about…and…maybe jerk off over…

And this is how the Universe delivers our desires. Life experience brings to our awareness situations we like or don’t like. From there, we know what we want. And so does the Universe. The moment we know what we want, the Universe and all its resources goes to work. It begins assembling conditions, people and resources to make that want pop into our lives.

Receiving the full blown version of that desire requires us becoming a match to it. I write every week about how that happens, so I won’t go into it in this post. Today, I’m sharing this amazing story as proof of what being a match looks like, then what happens next.

So every experience we have helps us know what we want. The Universe takes that and instantly makes a version of that desire available. When we become a match to that experience, it becomes our experience. That’s what happened over 10 years with Selma. It wasn’t that it took 10 years for the resources to come together. That happened instantly. But it took 10 years for me to become a match to it.

What took so long? I’ll briefly talk about that next.

^^The Universe is your artistic co-creator. What are you going to create? (Photo by Khara Woods on Unsplash)

It begins with a bootie call

For one, I was married. That marriage had a lot of stuff happening in it. Second, as I wrote above, my ethics wouldn’t allow it. “Ethics”, of course, are a set of beliefs. Those beliefs ran counter to being a match to “being with Selma”.

Then I got into a whole bunch of other circumstances that had me focused on other things. Things that distracted me belief-wise from Selma.

Recently, however, like in the last two years, Selma came back into my awareness. That return had me begin to turn the corner belief-wise. My marriage was over. Those distractions were largely gone and I cultivated other thoughts which had me become more and more of a match to Selma.

It was no wonder then that this past summer, seemingly out of the blue, Selma reached out for a bootie call. Getting her message was a TOTAL surprise as all “manifestations” usually are. That’s because we usually can’t tell when we’ve become a match to something we want. So when we are, and it happens, it comes as a surprise.

I would have jumped on that bootie call opportunity…if I had seen the text in time. Selma is from Mexico. She’s a beautiful, indigenous, brown-skinned-black-haired-gorgeous-smile bombshell. And, she was heading south of the border for a couple months. By the time I saw her message she had already gone.

I sent her a message assuring her that, had I seen it, I would have invited her over. And I felt a little bummed about this because I really wanted to see her! Knowing what I know, however, about “beliefs create reality”, instead of staying bummed, I imagined her being here, at my apartment, in my bed, us both enjoying ourselves intwined in our arms and legs.

That felt great.

Now’s a great time to introduce some advanced information about how to create reality, especially people. It’s important to understand this, or at least have it in your awareness, dear reader, as we move through this story.

We create everything…and everyone

Each one of us lives in a reality all alone. That’s right. No one else exists in our reality but us. Every thing in our experience is a reflection of our beliefs, our ideas we hold in our heads. Every person we see is an extension, a reflection, of our beliefs too. When it comes to people, those people reflect our thoughts and beliefs about the people we see.

That means we are ongoingly creating versions of people we experience. 

Now here’s the cool thing: The people we see are not the same people those people are experiencing. In other words, say we see John the policeman over there. We are creating a version of John the policeman, in our reality, at that moment. But John, over there in his reality, is creating a totally different version of himself than we are. That version of him reflects his thoughts and beliefs about himself, just as our version of him reflects our thoughts and beliefs about the police, people and John, specifically. Yes, this is true even if we think we don’t know “John”.

So you can see there’s a lot of overlapping creating happening. That’s pretty cool that we experience so many creations. But what is really cool is, this means we can create any versions of people we want!

It’s because I know this that I knew I could create a version of Selma that would wind up in bed with me. I knew a match to that creation already existed in Selma’s version of herself: she reached out for a bootie call. So already we were in the vicinity of being a match. All there was for me to do was amplify that match rather than amplify the opposite of that.

And that’s exactly what I did.

Well, not exactly…

Creation confusion

After that missed connection, I tried communicating with her often, but she hardly replied. She, like me, considers herself a free spirit. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship. After reaching out to her from time to time, and getting no reply, I started thinking I was bothering her. Of course, that caused my version of her to ignore my texts even more.

My thought “I’m bothering her” created a version of her that acted bothered: She wouldn’t reply, or she’d be off line every time I looked to see if she responded. I’m sure you can see similar behavior in yourself, dear reader. We think we’re being harmless by constantly checking to see if the person we’re interested in gets our message or replies.

But we’re not being harmless. We’re actually creating a reality. In that reality we’re creating a version of the person we’re interested in that doesn’t respond to us. How? By focusing on the absence of communication from that person!

Now, I found out later that she really did want to come over when she came back from Mexico. She also wondered why I hadn’t reached out to her more. But I didn’t know that when all this was happening. And yes, this again shows how we create different versions of people. Even different versions from the version that very person is creating of themself! 

Here Selma was saying she was interested in wanting to get together. But she was waiting on me. And here I was creating a version of her matched to my disempowering belief: that I was bothering her.

None of the above I knew was happening until after we ended up in my bed together. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Giving it all up

Selma came back to the US in September and I immediately reached out to tell her I was still game for a hook up. She didn’t respond. And I let myself get even more poopy about that.

In time, I soothed that resistance, and, as a result, in a couple weeks, she reached out.

This was on Sept 26. She texted to tell me she’d be in my area and that we could meet. Interestingly, where she was going was about a block or two from where I lived. And she didn’t even know where I lived! I was stoked.

A couple hours later, however, she texted again. Selma said the meeting she was having got cancelled! This time, though, I didn’t have a negative reaction. Instead, I just let it roll off my back. Later, I reached out some more to try to coax her over. That caused her to distance herself even more. And the lack of response had me feel doubtful again about us meeting. That doubt felt increasingly awful.

That’s when I decided I need to use the “you create your reality” approach better. After all, I know this approach. Why the hell was I creating something I didn’t want? Why not, instead, create what I did want? So I did exactly that: I completely forgot about Selma.

Before, I responded to everything she posted on FB. So I stopped doing that. I responded to all her posts on Instagram too. I stopped that also. Even thinking about her was something I quit doing. I put her completely out of my mind, which, of course, soothed resistance I was building up, inherent in the intention of “trying to get her in my bed”, which was really creating the outcome “she’s not in my bed”.

I’ll explain why next.

Not thinking about it is key

I say this a lot to clients and also include it in a lot in my writings. You can’t think about the absence of something and create the presence of it. In other words, we must think about having what we want, not not having it. This is something easily confused. Many think they’re thinking the former instead of the latter.

If I’m thinking “I so want Selma in my bed” I’m focused on her NOT being in my bed, which is what I’m actually creating. And that is what I’m going to get. That’s because the Universe isn’t listening to the words we’re thinking or saying. Instead, it’s listening to our vibration: what we’re focused on. And if we’re feeling yearning or strong desire for something, we’re not focused on having that thing. We’re focused on the absence of it.

To get this point across, I often ask clients what it feels like to have something they currently have. Usually they answer by saying something like “I don’t think about it” or “I feel really glad I have it”. Well, that’s what it feels like to manifest what we want. It must feel like we have it, meaning we don’t think about it, or we feel glad we have it. If we’re feeling yearning, or hoping or needing, we’re not focused on having it. Nor do we feel glad.

So while thinking “I want her to come over” I’m focusing on “she’s not here”. And that’s what I was getting: a version of Selma that wasn’t showing up. That’s the momentum I wanted to soothe. And that’s why I stopped thinking about her.

It all comes together 

The last contact I had from her was Sept 26. Three weeks later, at 1 p.m. Selma texted: “What are you up to today?”.

Now I would say that came out of the blue, but I KNEW THIS WAS THE MANIFESTATION I WAS WANTING. I told her I was completely open. But I didn’t get all excited about it. I remained indifferent in my focus. I held the feeling of having what I wanted, which is, not thinking about it. Then, at 4 p.m., she texted again. She was headed over!

The next few things that happened proved this was divine orchestration.

I really wanted to go get groceries. So I told her that’s what I was going to do and left. I don’t have a car, so it takes a while to run such an errand. There was a chance she would get to my apartment early, not wait, and bail. But I didn’t entertain any of that kind of thought. I just knew everything would work out. 

I walked to the grocery (it’s about 1.5 miles away), then, coming home, I see Selma driving around the corner!  Perfect timing I thought!

She looked radiant of course. Selma sees me and gives me that beautiful smile of hers. Then she tells me she can’t find a street side parking spot. I told her She looked amazing and pointed out how perfect it was that she arrived exactly when I got back to my apartment. Selma agreed.

I told her to drive around the block and that I’d see her in front of my building. When I walked around to my building, right in front of the building entrance, was a guy pulling out of a spot. Rock Star Parking! I texted Selma to let her know and, of course, she got that parking space.

Selma got out, we hugged and went upstairs….and after a lovely conversation of an hour or more, we ended up right where I visualized us: in my bed, intwined in our arms and legs!

You create your reality

What happened here? What happened was a beautiful orchestration. An orchestration the Universe performed on my behalf. It was an orchestration I kicked off by expressing my desire, then tuning myself so that I became a match to it. 

I’m telling you there’s nothing better than seeing the Universe doing this for me over and over again. It delivers everything I want with no effort on my part other than thinking in a particular way.

Now, I’m no special snowflake. Everyone has this ability. Everyone, you included, can create any reality they want. They can also create any version of any person they want. All it takes is getting one’s stories right on the subject of that person.

Well, that’s not all it takes. It also takes belief. And that’s where most people fail. If you don’t believe any of this is possible, if you think this story was just a bunch of coincidence, “circular logic” or “wishful thinking” then those beliefs put the kibosh on your ability to create your reality.

You still create your reality. You just don’t do it deliberately. So you get some of what you want and some of what you don’t. I prefer a life where everything I want comes to me easily. 

Why not create your version of that life?

[transamorousnetwork]

Dangerous Nonsense, Or Something Powerful That Works?

Last week’s post struck a nerve among my trans readers, causing some people to block me. Others claimed I was dangerous, “a moron” and more. That’s interesting.

It’s interesting because none of these people have any experience with what I know.

One trans person wrote me a while ago. She had some solo experience with this “you create your reality” business. She even produced evidence proving it worked for her. But because she didn’t have a tutor who knew what they were doing, she missed the evidence and thus concluded the “business” doesn’t work.

At least she tried.

Everyone else, especially those who got triggered by my last post, have no idea what they’re talking about when they lambast what I know. They’re literally sharing ignorant views.

In this post, I’m going to lay out how I know what I know, how it came to be and why I’m so sure what I know is accurate.

Unless someone has done what I’ve done, they are coming at understanding the nature of the Universe fully uninformed. After reading this you’ll understand why I can say that with such certainty. And why I know, absolutely, that what I know is accurate.

Where to begin

I could start with how I came into the world. But that would make this post too long. Suffice it to say I knew something about what was happening here well before my birth. It wasn’t until after a stint in Christianity, a decade as a Buddhist scholar, and four years as an esoteric martial artist that I really came into my own. It’s at that point I’d like to begin my explanation. That’s when things really got undeniably clear something was happening that was not of this world.

All my life I dabbled in books about this “you create your reality” business. So something obviously resonated in me about this knowledge, something beyond the major religions. Two authors stood out. Eckart Tolle and a woman named Esther Hicks. Again, many others came before these two, but these two really got the ball rolling.

In one of his books, Tolle expresses a skeptic’s view of his teachings. He takes on the role of a doubter asking “what evidence do you have that this is all real?” In reply he says “you want evidence? Be the evidence you want to see.”

I took that answer to heart. 

After all, I already had a feeling that physical reality was 100 percent subjective. I also knew at the time that science wasn’t telling the whole story (now I know it can’t possibly do that and for very good reasons). So I decided I would take Tolle’s advice and become the evidence I wanted to see.

It’s too bad more of my trans readers won’t take that advice. If they did, they’d find themselves far less abrasive about what they know so little about.

It started not-good-seeming

I, on the other hand, dove in. I upped my meditation game and started thinking more positive thoughts. Taking Tolle’s advice further, I focused more and more “in the now” and left the future and the past alone. My life did start improving. But not by much. Not at first.

Little did I know then, a person first starting out must clear away negative momentum born of negative beliefs before they can enjoy really obvious evidence things are turning. I should add that that clearing away process IS evidence. But most of my clients have a hard time seeing that as positive. That’s because that clearing can feel awful.

That was my experience too. I created a lot of negative manifestations, including quitting my job out of fear and losing my home. But looking back, I’m glad I traded all that for the life I’m living now. Letting those things go was more than worth it.

In my “clearing away negative momentum” stage, however, I inadvertently added more negative momentum to my path. A lot more. I chose to become an entrepreneur. That had me confronting even more negative beliefs. I blew through all my savings, and then added even more negative momentum by creating a company with the intention of “ending capitalism”.

And while that had a positive ring to it, it wasn’t aligned with my Broader Perspective knowledge about what’s happening on this planet. The more I focused on that business, the more crazy/interesting things happened. And it was right about this time that I encountered Esther Hicks.

When the student is ready…

Back then the idea that people could “channel” spirits, filled me with skepticism. But my Broader Perspective wasn’t going to let that keep me off this path. So when I took a business trip to Chico California to promote my business idea, I met a man. He was so impressed with what I was doing that he gifted me Esther’s book “Ask and It is Given”.

I knew about Law of Attraction back then, but thought it a little too woo for me. Still, I accepted the gift and when I read it, it resonated strongly. I guess I was ready for its contents.

So much so, I plunged headlong into it. It was through that book that I got introduced to Seth. That took me on a long detour. Seth’s material really resonated with me. Especially the analytical, detail-oriented part of me. I ended up reading every book Seth and their channeler, Jane Roberts wrote. The more I read, the more educated I got. And the more intrigued I got. When Seth said “you create your reality” I wanted to know how and how I could do it deliberately.

I’ve written this over and over too: When a person hears that they create their reality, if they’re not in a good place, then what they’ll hear is that phrase blaming them or making them at fault for their life. They won’t hear the empowering message contained in that phrase. IT’S AN EMPOWERING MESSAGE.

But if a person has lived a mediocre, unsatisfying or victimized life, one born of their distorted beliefs, all they’ll hear is “I’m being blamed for something I can’t control.” Little do they know it’s that belief that is the basis of the reality they’re experiencing. 

My experience was different. I guess I was ready.

Drawn to the work

When I read “you create your reality”, that filled me with curiosity. That curiosity had me read every Seth book. Seth focuses on dreams, detailed explanations of the totality of All That Is, how All That Is happens and our role in all that. It’s extremely dense reading. He also focuses a lot on extreme detail of how things go from vibration to physical reality. Again, it’s heady stuff. And the fact that it’s coming from a disembodied, nonphysical being, adds more hard-to-believe-ness to it.

But Seth subtly includes instruction in his writings the reader can put to use to prove what they’re reading. When they do, the proof is near immediate. The reader must know where to look to see the proof, however. If they don’t know where to look, they’ll miss it. And Seth doesn’t say where to look. 

I think that’s because of the collective unfolding represented by the continuity of information Seth and Abraham offer. Seth lays out the practical nuts and bolts, but Abraham offers broad strokes as to how those nuts and bolts assemble in to a cohesive process, culminating in direct instructions for how to deliberately create reality. Abraham’s messages are more pedestrian where Seth’s could be described as “academic”, or even “scholarly”.

^^A portion of my complete Seth Library.

It’s no wonder I was drawn to Seth’s work first. And Seth’s work prepared me deeply to integrate what I was about to discover with Abraham’s assistance. 

By the way, this is why it’s crucial explorers of this material explore with help from someone who knows what they’re doing. Not only is it hard to see evidence in the beginning, it’s really easy to get off track by coming to distorted conclusions, or having strong reactions to the teachings.

Seth: My first teacher

For example, the material offers explanations for how we each exist in our own separate reality, apart from every other being. But reality looks like that’s not true. The material also asserts that we invite every experience into our lives, including those humans might describe as tragic, even horrifying.

Reading such assertions can and usually does have people react with revulsion. Many of my clients are examples. They ask “if this is true, how can a baby invite experiencing being sexually molested? How do people create experiences where they die horrible deaths, end up homeless or addicted to drugs?”

It’s beyond the scope of this post for me to answer those questions. Suffice it to say those questions are easily answered. But as Abraham says many times “words don’t teach. Life experience teaches.” What they mean is as one moves down the path of self-discovery, their life will provide these answers in undeniable terms, not in words, but in experiences the discoverer can’t deny. And when that happens, those experiences are deeply convincing. So convincing they are, the discoverer becomes convinced. They know. Like I do.

^^Abraham making it plain.

Reading all of Seth’s material filled me with wonder, but it also stoked a fire within me. A lot of this I already knew. It was as though I was remembering what I forgot when I chose to come into physical reality. A powerful education was taking place. I was the student and Seth was my teacher.

And that education brought me right back to Esther and her book Ask and It is Given.

Getting ready again

But again, I faced skepticism. I wanted to believe what Esther, and Abraham, the being speaking through Esther, claimed in the book. But at the time I had a hard time getting over my resistant belief that “channeling” was fake.

Unlike many readers who spout their uninformed opinion when they read what I assert, I decided I was going to get evidence proving “channeling” was fake, or that it was real. This was part of me “being the evidence I wanted to see”.

I get most people may be too busy to take time to do what I did, but I put a high priority on all this. That’s because I knew if this stuff was true, it would mean a radically different life was available to me and I wanted that. I was open to it being real, but I also was skeptical, even as I signed up for my first Abraham seminar in San Diego, Calif.

My approach to becoming the evidence was very serious and deliberate. I wanted to give it my all, which is what I encourage clients do too. I flew to San Diego and stayed in a quiet place where I could focus. There, a day before the event, I calmed myself. I also focused on three things I wanted to know, three things I figured only Infinite Intelligence would know. Abraham refers to themselves as Infinite Intelligence. Since I was going to meet Infinite Intelligence, I probably should have some profound questions…

My first direct with Infinite Intelligence contact begins

An Abraham seminar typically happens in a large hotel meeting room. They also happen aboard cruise ships. The events are packed with rows of chairs and usually accommodate 1500 people or more. These events are always packed with no chair left empty.

^^Abraham seminar auditorium from the July 20, 2024 event. This is only one half of the room.

That first Abraham seminar was more than 10 years ago. I woke very early the morning of and meditated for an hour. I wanted to be in a strong vibrational focus so I could present the best possible evidence to myself.

At the event, I sat in the front row. I wanted a good view of what happened so I could see it all. As people filed in and took their seats, I didn’t notice anything special. No mystical buzzing filled the room. Only people who were excited to be there. Some even knew each other. Obviously, some of these people had been to previous events and some even traveled around groupie-style from event to event. 

Honestly, I was a bit put off by all the positive energy, which I think a lot of people would be. It was very New Age feeling.

But what happened over the next four hours turned that “put off” feeling into being totally “turned on”. 

The Hot Seat

During an Abraham seminar, Esther first comes onto the stage. She greets attendees from the stage and offers preliminary information about how the day will go. Event’s are typically three hours with a break or two in the middle somewhere. After that, Esther calms herself and allows Abraham to take her over, so to speak. She recedes into the background of her consciousness and Abraham moves into the foreground. 

Abraham and Esther have a strong connection. It’s highly likely Abraham is part of Esther’s Broader Perspective. What I discovered through what happened over the next several years is that Abraham is part of my Broader Perspective too. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

So this seminar got under way and part way through the first half, I noticed something strange. Once it commences, Abraham looks out into the crowd and selects individuals. Those individuals come on stage and sit in what’s called the Hot Seat. It’s a chair on stage equipped with a microphone. There the person can ask Abraham anything they’d like. Abraham answers the question while also using it as a jumping off point to offer other information. Information pertinent to others in the room.

People therefore raise their hands in hopes of getting called to the Hot Seat. Of course, there’s only so many people that can sit in the Hot Seat in a three-hour period. Abraham can’t call everyone up. What I observed therefore, was even more strange.

It happened

What I observed was, each person who followed the person before them asked questions that were perfect segues from what the person before asked. I can’t recall examples, this was over a decade ago. Back then, however, I sat in amazement in that first hour. After the break, the second hour went the same. And, the people chosen in the first hour had obviously been in the Hot Seat before. Several of them mentioned it being their second and third time being called across many events.

The neat way in which Abraham called people to the state, with each person’s questions perfectly dovetailing with the previous person’s, pushed my “bullshit” button. Something was up, I thought. Now mind you, I wanted to get on stage too. So while my BS meter had gone off, the pattern seemed to heighten my desire to get on stage. But something happened in me that had me doubt being able to get up there.

Logic told me the only way this dovetailing thing could happen was if Esther had planted or preselected people invited to the stage. That’s the only thing that could explain it, at least to me. The more I watched as the day unfolded, the more skeptical I got. And the more doubtful I got that Abraham would call me. But my desire to get on stage must have overwhelmed my skepticism. And what was to unfold that is my life now crucially depended on what happened next. I know Abraham knew this. Because what happened next was a total surprise.

Abraham asked what was next. Time was running out in the seminar. I raised my hand and Abraham said, “come on up” while pointing directly at me.

^^Reservation for my first Abraham event in San Diego.

It begins, and begins again, and again 

Abraham called me as the last person. My questions were so profound, and so personal, I understood immediately why they called me last. My questions were the perfect conclusion to the entire day.

But them calling me last also showed me my logical conclusions were all wrong. After all, there’s no way I was a plant. I didn’t even know Esther and she or a member of her team didn’t approach me. I got no pre-event questionnaire to give my questions ahead of time. No one knew what I was going to ask but me….and Abraham apparently.

Sitting in the Hot Seat, my skepticism vanished. The experience also blew away my logical conclusions. Something more was afoot here. Something deeper. I got my questions answered in the perfect way. And I left the seminar astounded.

That was just the beginning.

Over the next four years I attended one seminar each year. In the next, seminar, held in Portland where I live, Abraham called me somewhere in the middle of the day. In the following seminar, again in Portland, they called me again, this time closer to the beginning of the event. The same thing happened in the third seminar I attended. During a break, an old friend I recognized came up to me.

She asked “do you always get in the Hot Seat?” 

“Apparently so,” I shrugged. I was as surprised as she was.

Each time my confidence in their teachings grew. I started listening to everything I could from them on YouTube. Their messages generally, and their personal messages to me specifically, resonated so strongly with everything I already knew, particularly from Seth.

It all affected me profoundly.

^^Me in the Hot Seat.

Doubling down

So much so in between these seminars I totally changed the way I lived. I had become the evidence I wanted to see by challenging myself to become that evidence. I wanted evidence and I got it. Got smacked in the kisser with it. And the more I tried living by what Abraham suggested, while also putting Seth’s guidance to practice, the better my life got and the more evidence I got.

I doubled down then on what I knew and what I was learning. I became an “Abra-hamster” as people who follow Abraham call themselves. For me, Abraham and Seth represented the pinnacle of knowledge about how the Universe works. Their collective explanations were without peer in my opinion. Again, I didn’t just accept what they said and wrote. I put it into practice. And when I did, what they said would happen happened.

Little did I know that as I doubled down Abraham and Seth were clearly paying attention to my commitment. They were pulling something together they knew would be the perfect response to my commitment, an unfolding that would solidify my knowing and complete my understanding of how the Universe works, who and what I am, and how to communicate that to others.

That which they were orchestrating started with the next Abraham seminar I attended. Nothing like it had ever happened before, according to Esther and Abraham. Never in the history of the work Esther does with Abraham had this kind of thing happened, they told me. And it happened because of what I was doing….or rather what I was being: eager to align with all that I am.

I meet my lineage and expand into my knowing

The next seminar I attended happened again in Portland. It began as they usually do, with Esther coming onto the stage and getting the event started. However, this time, when Abraham came forward, they didn’t start the event as they usually do.

Usually, they’ll speak for the first 20 minutes about some things to warm the audience up. They’ll then look out into the crowd, say something funny like, “You’re all here ready for trouble”, then pick someone to come to the Hot Seat.

This time, they didn’t do that.

They came forward through Esther and spent perhaps half the usual time prepping. While doing so, they kept looking directly at me again and again. At the first break, people I know in the audience came up to me. They noticed too that Abraham kept looking directly at me. So I wasn’t hallucinating or anything like that. The moment they finished their shortened introduction, Abraham said “Let’s begin here” and while saying that pointed straight at me.

I took my place in the Hot Seat. Typically individual Hot Seat experiences range from 10 to about 15 minutes. But this time, I sat there, the first one called, for a full 30 minutes! Again, this had never happened before. When I returned to my seat in the audience I was floating in my body. I thought back through all the seminars, all the reading I had done, the wondrous experiences I had had across all these years and knew this was a special moment.

But Abraham had just gotten started.

It gets way better

At the end of every seminar, Abraham has some closing words. Then, they recede into Esther and Esther returns to the foreground of her consciousness. She’s always ecstatic in response to the time spent in the seminar, expresses how much she loves everyone, says goodbye and heads off stage, off the side of the stage and through the background curtains.

That’s not what happened this time. This time, she said her goodbyes and instead of leaving through the background curtains, Esther, stepped down the front stairs of the stage, walked over to where I stood and ripped my name tag off my shirt. She put her hand on the back of my head and pulled my ear to her mouth. There she told me something I will not share. But suffice it to say it was ASTOUNDING.

A few days later, I got a call. It was Esther. She invited me to a personal 1:1 conversation with Abraham, which began over text message and moved to a phone call. Then, over the next 10 weeks, me, Esther and Abraham enjoyed personal sessions where I could ask anything I wanted. Abraham also taught me everything they could about how the Universe works, humanity’s role in all that, my role in all that, and about my lineage, which includes Abraham and Seth.

They then laid out how my life would go from there if I follow through with the commitment I made to myself, which, ultimately was something, according to them, I had committed to before I came into a physical body. They gave me all of this at no cost.

^^Recordings making up my library of 1:1 sessions with Abraham and Esther.

My direct experience

Nearly everything they told me in those 10 weeks has happened. Some things haven’t yet, but definite signs of their emergence are there. Everything can’t have happened already, because my life is still ongoing. But so much has already happened, I know the others things will too.

And this is why I know what I know, I say and write what I say and write and how I know what I say and write is 100 percent accurate. I consider Seth and Abraham not only my lineage, but part of my Broader Perspective, that part of me that continues guiding and assisting me in this life and the other lives I live as part of All That Is.

So when people call me a moron, or think I offer “dangerous nonsense”, I know they don’t know anything about what they’re talking about. When they say this stuff is pseudoscience I know they have done nothing to become the evidence.

This is why too when I ask such people “What have you done to prove it is, for example, dangerous nonsense, and under whose tutelage did you try to prove it?” I get crickets in return. Because such people are talking with no direct experience with All That Is or with Infinite Intelligence.

I have direct experience with both. And my life and my clients’ lives are unfolding accordingly. In other words, our lives are all improving. Because what I describe in my writings is exactly how the Universe works. 

This explains why I say people claiming it’s dangerous nonsense, or that it’s gibberish or gobbledygook, literally have no idea what they’re talking about. Because they literally don’t.

But I do.

[transamorousnetwork]

How Trans and Trans-Attracted People Helped Trump Win

I’m pretty thrilled with what happened last Tuesday. Although I must admit, I didn’t feel that way last Wednesday. That’s because my Broader Perspective assured me one candidate would prevail over the other.

That’s not what happened. Trump handily won. And it may be that the Senate and the House will fall to GOP majorities too. At the time of this writing, that’s unclear.

What is clear though is half of America is thrilled. The other half is flip-flopping through rage, depression, disbelief, terror and more. Included in the second half, I’m sure, are many, many trans and trans-attracted people, and many other LGBTQ people.

I didn’t vote for Trump. And I’m queer/transamorous. But I’m glad he’s going to be president. Not for reasons you may think though, dear reader.

In this post, I’ll lay out why I’m thrilled instead of terror-struck about the election results and why you should/could be as well.

Let’s get to it!

A brilliant manifester

Those who haven’t regularly read my blogs will struggle with what they’re about to read. I invite comments and questions, just try to keep them civil, please.

Those who have regularly read my blogs will find this post consistent with everything else I write. In fact, earlier this year, I wrote about Trump and his seeming amazing ability to thwart what some might call justice. I praised his ability as a manifester too.

There’s no two ways about it: Trump is a brilliant manifester. He focuses on what he wants and he doesn’t care about things like facts, the truth or what others think about him. As a result of his pure focus, he usually gets what he wants.

Discovering Trump’s recent massive increase in his personal fortune, thanks largely to Truth Social, astounded me for example. All those silly things he sold to his followers — coins, custom Bibles, shoes — are evident of his powerful manifestation momentum. Especially when it comes to money. But Truth Social really took the cake. Until the 2024 election.

Now, I don’t agree with anything he is about. And yet, I must admire his ability to focus. His ability to focus on what he wants…and manifest it is exemplary.

Willing participants 

Not so much with some transgender and trans-attracted people and other LGBTQ community members. We all are points of consciousness, existing in a vibrational reality of All That Is. Our thoughts determine what we create as our life experience. That includes politics. There’s no evidence disputing this.

So when a person focuses on something they want and they don’t resist it they will realize that thing in their lives at some point. Again, resistance is key. If they focus a little on what they want, and a lot on what they don’t, that conflicting focus slows down and can even prevent them getting what they want. Indeed, that conflicting focus can actually produce exactly what they don’t want.

And that’s exactly what nearly every progressive person was doing, including myself, leading up to Nov. 5. That includes many transgender and trans-attracted people and, I’m sure, other LGBTQ people too. Yes, I wanted Harris to win. But was my focus purely on that outcome? Nope. I dabbled in resisting Trump. And doing so, I added momentum to all the others wanting him to win, including Trump himself. That’s right, every progressive focusing intently on what Trump was doing vibrationally aligned themselves with the GOP, Trump and MAGA.

And that’s why Trump prevailed in the election. All those progressive points of consciousness became cooperative components of Trump’s desire to win. So he did.

How it really works

So when I say everyone got what they wanted, that’s what happened. By “got what they wanted” I mean, they got what they mainly focused on. This is an important aspect of this “you create your reality” business. We don’t get what we say we want. We don’t even get what we think we want. What we get is the physical match to the dominant vibration we’re emanating. And we emanate through our focus.

When we focus on something we don’t want, if we keep doing that, that’s what’s going to manifest. Life experience is a reflection. It constantly reflects back to us what we’re emanating. Having our focus become visible in this way, life experience helps us understand what we’re emanating, even if we can’t feel the vibration.

This explains why it’s important to not focus on the now so much, especially when it contains what we don’t want. Because when we do that, we are focusing our emanate-or on the reflection of past focus or vibration. Doing that, we create again what we’ve already created in our reflection. That’s how “reality” persists; many points of consciousness are focused on what is, thereby perpetuating it.

To get what we want, we look at our reflection – what we’re emanating – and if what we see is not what we want to create next, then we shift our focus or emanation.

Most of us don’t know that, so when something shows up that we don’t want, we keep focusing on that. We complain about it, or push against it. We tell our friends about it and commiserate. And in doing that we create more of that.

That’s how we all helped Trump win. And yet, there’s a really good outcome inherent in getting what we don’t want. Let’s look at that next.

Setting up the prerequisite

Anyone can use physical reality to figure out what they’re creating. Indeed, that’s what it’s for. However, people can develop sensitivity sufficient to perceive how they’re vibrating too. They also can listen to thoughts they think on the regular. Thoughts are more-manifested vibration, after all. So if our sensitivity to vibration isn’t very keen, we can pay attention to our thinking. If that’s too much work, we can simply observe what shows up in our lives.

Nearly everyone not in a practice such as the one I show clients how to use has insufficient sensitivity to perceive their vibratory emanations. Many trans and trans-attracted people don’t bother thinking about how they’re thinking. They think thinking is just an automatic process. Not something creating their future.

So for all those people, it’s easiest to use their reality to tune to what they want. But some don’t even do that! It’s all good though: since we’re all eternal, we have all the time in the world to learn how to create what we want.

Many trans and trans-attracted people fear their physical reality. They think, for example, that now that Trump is president, they must flee the country. Or, those outside the US must fear the US. That’s flawed thinking because it’s based on a premise that will bite such people in the butt if they don’t realize it’s a flaw. We’ll get to the good outcome I alluded to above. Let’s first look at this flawed premise as a prerequisite. It’s important.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Beliefs create lack of control

I’ve shared this over and over: each of us exists in our own, individually-created reality. People in our reality are there as reflections. They reflect what we are thinking about the people they represent: strangers, letter carriers, loved ones, family members, coworkers, etc. So no one shares their reality with another. The practice I share makes this absolutely clear by pointing practitioners to evidence proving this the case. If you don’t believe this, then just assume it’s true for now.

Since we’re all in our own reality, and since we’re each the creator of that reality, nothing and no one can create something for us. Only we can. But if we think/believe that someone or something can create our reality, then our reality will reflect that back to us.

How? In the form of a reality seemingly being created by others.

It will also include events seeming to randomly happen, usually against our will. Again, it’s not that someone else is creating it or that what’s happening is random or accidental. We’re creating that experience from the belief (the vibration emanation) that draws that experience to us.

Many beliefs can do that. Here are examples and all them are fairly common in human consciousness:

Life is an accident of random processes

God is real and his will supersedes mine

Accidents happen

Bad luck happens

Good luck happens

Bad things happen to good people

Life is dangerous

Life is random

We never know when our time is up

Transphobes are a threat to my life

If my co-workers find out I’m trans-attracted, I’ll lose my job

Many more similar beliefs exist. But these should give us an idea of what beliefs create realities wherein it looks like others shape our experience.

Where reality comes from

The problem with such beliefs doesn’t end with the fact that they create realities that look like others can control what happens in our experience. Such beliefs, if believed, means that the person holding them must contend with such a reality! 

So if we believe the world is going to hell because Trump is now president, we must leave the country, or even the world, if possible, because that belief will create experience consistent with it. I wouldn’t tell someone contemplating moving to Canada to stay in the US, for example. If they believe staying in the US is dangerous, they will perceive evidence proving this true. And eventually, they will attract to themselves experiences confirming the perceived danger.

But here’s the thing: another person, with the exact same conditions minus the belief about Trump will not see that evidence. And if they believe their reality springs from their empowering beliefs, it doesn’t matter that Trump is president. Because the president has no ability to force conditions to play out in our lives. Nor does anyone else. Unless we believe they do.

Focus creates reality. Thoughts create reality. Beliefs create reality. All three of these are the onlySource of reality as it exists for each person. It’s important then, to cultivate beliefs consistent with the reality one wants.

But even if we don’t, the Universe and All That Is will help us do so. How? Well, now it’s time to visit that good outcome I mentioned above.

It’s a matter of choice

A hallmark of the practice I share describes the instantaneous creation of our ongoing reality experience. Part of that process includes our physical reality as a reflector. Here’s how that works. Here’s also how Trump winning the election is a good thing, especially for transgender and trans-attracted people.

Since our reality is a reflection, whether we’re conscious of it or not, we immediately know two things in the moment we experience the reflection: we know what we don’t want and we know what we do want.

In the case of “negative” reflections, the “not wanted” is front and center. Our emotions, thoughts and even our bodies sometimes reflect the “unwanted” aspect of an unpleasant experience. For nearly all progressives, Nov. 6 was an “unwanted” reality.

^^MAGA won with the help of progressives and trans and trans-attracted people.

But in that same instant, progressives also knew what they wanted. No, they didn’t want Tump to not be president. That’s still a focus on Trump, which leads to him being president.

Some progressives wanted freedom to be. Some wanted empowerment in their lives or the lives of people they know. Others wanted a country that, in their mind, cares for others. Many wanted all these things and more.

And in that moment of realization, in knowing what they wanted and what they didn’t want, they had a choice — a crucial choice. They could focus on what they wanted. Or they could focus on what they didn’t want.

I would bet nearly every single progressive in America focused, on Nov 6, on what they didn’t want. And they did that with very strong emotional intent. That’s a problem.

It must be

It’s a problem because all those progressives, while not knowing it, amplified Tump becoming president by focusing on that not-wanted situation and through their focus and emotions added more momentum to what they already focused into existence on Nov 5. It’s exactly what I described above about looking at what is and thereby creating more of that.

But some progressives (myself included) did something different. We expressed curiosity about what happened instead of fear or insecurity. We wondered how this happened. Then, getting an answer (what you’re reading here, dear reader) we decided to focus on what we want. In that focus, held no matter the evidence of the current reflection, we felt better. And in that better-feeling place, we emanate a more positive vibration.

That positive vibration must create a reflection in our lives consistent with that emanation. And it doesn’t matter that Trump won. But any progressives, including trans, trans-attracted and LGBTQ people, who try to do this, but also who believe Trump’s victory does matter, have the same problem progressives focusing on what they do not wanted have: they’re creating a reality for themselves that includes Trump controlling their life experience.

So the good news is, out of a negative experience, we know what we want and what we don’t. Line up with what we want and we will eventually get what we are lined up with. This is how the Universe works, so it MUST BE.

More and more GOP

A lot of progressives worry about other people. They worry about the poor. Some worry about LGBTQ people or other “disadvantaged” people such as BiPOC folks. The problem with that worry is, it doesn’t help.

If everything you just read is accurate (and it is) then those beliefs about those people create a reality for those believers in which those people are disadvantaged. If progressives really want to help others, their best bet is think the most empowering, positive and loving thoughts they can about everyone. Including their enemies (the GOP).

Because the hate or fear or worry progressives hold does nothing but disadvantage the very progressives holding such views. That holds doubly true for hate. Hating conservatives or transphobes doesn’t make them go away. Have you noticed? They haven’t gone anywhere. Indeed, we could say the conservative/transphobe movement has grown, become meaner and more effective. Thanks progressives!

Maybe it’s time we progressives take a different approach. One that nearly every spiritual leader suggests: love your enemies as yourself. I know that the more progressives who do that, the more those progressives’ lives will improve. My life shows that!

But those progressives can’t do anything to help another progressive’s life improve. Remember, we all create our own reality. Each progressive must do it for themselves. And many aren’t ready to do that.

No worry. We’re all eternal. And the world will keep reflecting back to such people a progressively awful life, until they surrender to the only power they have: the power of their Broader Perspective. And when they do, they’ll find everything they want is there.

No matter who is in the White House.

[transamorousnetwork]

What the best relationship looks and feels like

Trans women and trans-attracted men: Let’s talk about relationships. There’s a lot to talk about here. Mainly because most of us feel relationships are one of the most, if not the most, important things. After all, we are told, we need relationships to be happy. Everything we do, need and want, it seems, comes through relationships. It is relationships with others that create community. It’s relationships through which we – supposedly – find love. Such relationships also create safety, belonging and a whole lot more.

And, if we’re honest with ourselves, relationships also offer the worst in humanity. Relationships with others are the framework through which some of humanity’s worst traits surface. Greed, conflict, psychopathy and violence all would be meaningless were it not for relationships. 

So relationships aren’t all rainbows and butterflies, as the saying goes. We all know this. Just ask Israelis and the Palestinians…relationships can suck. And yet, a lot about what we seem to be – human – seems to compel us toward relationships. Especially relationships with other humans.

There’s a far more satisfying, powerful relationship, however, one through which everything we want comes. It’s so all-encompassing, we literally can’t survive without it. And when we prioritize that relationship above all else, we can live our wildest dreams.

That relationship is what I’m writing about today.

Let’s dive in.

Over all else

The relationship I’m referring to has nothing to do with a god, especially the Christian god or Jesus. But this relationship does tap into the power Christians ascribe to their god.

The trouble with this relationship, however, is it’s as plain as the nose on our faces, and yet, we invariably prioritize other relationships ahead of it. And that out-of-whack prioritization creates all the troubles we have in other relationships. That’s because that which we could enjoy a relationship with wants our undivided attention. When we give it that attention, undivided, everything else in life flows easily.

What relationship could I possibly be referring to?

The relationship with ourselves.

That’s right, there’s no better, more satisfying, more powerful relationship than the relationship with ourselves. The reason why is because everything we see “out there” in the world springs from this relationship. So when we get this relationship where it should be – as our number one priority – then everything “out there” falls in line.

It doesn’t happen in an instant. That would be magic and magic isn’t a thing. But when a person prioritizes themselves over all else, then gradually, all else reflects the improvement inherent with prioritizing a relationship with themselves over all else!

Selfishness: a virtue

That seems like circular logic, but, as I’ve written before, the Universe and All That Is functions on circular logic. All That Is exists to joyfully know itself. The paradox of that is, the more it seeks to know itself, the more of itself it creates. This process makes All That Is – and you and me – eternal. So the more All That Is seeks to know itself, it creates more of itself to know. That’s the glorious circular process often described in ancient teachings.

Now, some might argue that prioritizing one’s self over others leads to selfishness. I completely agree. But I know selfishness is not bad. In fact, it’s the best way to be. Because when one lives that way, they discover everything else, including other people, are able to take care of themselves, leaving the person free to be, enjoy and lavish their life.

Indeed, when we put ourselves first in all things, our life also improves. We stop trying to change things over which we have no control. Letting go of such tasks feels better and better. And when we feel better, the world around us reflects that better mood back to us. It reflects it in ever-improving life experiences.

So, really, we have control of all of our experience. How? Because experience reflects back to us our inner state. And when we prioritize our inner state – our relationship with ourselves – then our life experiences reflect that improved inner state.

We also feel love and other higher emotions more. That’s because when we seek to know ourselves, which is aligned with what the Universe always does, we can’t help but feel the eternal joy that is Universal consciousness.

Put it to the test

That previous section may sound like a bunch of “New Age” hooey. Especially to cynical, jaded trans women. But it’s 100 percent accurate. I can write forever about how powerful what you’re reading is. But nothing compares to evidence produced by your lived experience.

So if you’re having trouble believing this stuff, I suggest you prove to yourself how accurate it is.

So how do we prioritize the relationship with ourselves? It doesn’t seem easy when the entire outside world encourages prioritizing others over ourselves. So it takes practice. It helps to know that a “self” exists in us worthy of our undivided attention. That “self” is the “god in human form” I write about in my other blog. Discovering its existence is easy.

The best way to do that is by testing Positively Focused premises, which are summed up in the phrase “you create your reality through the stories you tell”. As a person tests these premises, they create, or manifest, experiences – people and things – that come in surprising, seemingly coincidental ways.

And when so many of such manifestations happen over and over, the person must acknowledge something other than “coincidence” is at work. That acknowledgement is just like acknowledging there is a self worthy of having a relationship with. Paradoxically, the person testing these premises, once they start seeing things happen, will want more things to happen. As more happens, they also get more bold: they want bigger things to happen.

As their desires grow in scale or magnitude, their trust grows. Their trust in themselves and in this self they are building a relationship with.

Betrayal births bitterness

Growing that relationship brings a necessary letting go of beliefs keeping us all prioritizing others over ourselves. As we let go of them, we might have to face hard-seeming choices. Often it means disregarding what others think of us. Sometimes that looks like cutting off certain people, including family members.

For example, a client recently faced having to cut off her daughter. Her daughter, the epitome of a hellion, raked the client over all kinds of emotional coals throughout their 20-year relationship. Yet, the client believed she had to be there for her daughter, despite the poor treatment, because that’s “what parents should do”.

Little did she know she created the belief “that’s what parents should do” after her parents did something the client considered unconscionable.

Throughout her youth, her parents promised her they’d save for and pay for her college. But when the client was 16, the parents reneged on their promise. Because of this the client felt her parents betrayed her. She bitterly resented their decision and that bitterness festered in her.

An angel disguised as a devil 

The betrayal was personal for her. So, when she had a child out of wedlock, something she didn’t want in the first place, the client swore to “make things right” by not doing to her daughter what her parents did to her.

The problem with all of that is the Universe has an amusing way of showing us all how our bogus beliefs aren’t in our best interest. It will give us experiences reflecting our bogus beliefs right back at us. If you think all men interested in trans women are chasers, you’ll only meet that kind of guy, for example. If you believe all trans women are not passable or psycho, you’ll get that. In the client’s case, the Universe gave her a hellion daughter. And boy, did this young person torture her!

Their relationship was making the client miserable. Little did she realize, this daughter was an angel the client sent herself. The angel’s mission: to teach the client she has everything she needs within her, to stop blaming her parents, and to put herself first.

After weeks of learning to prioritize herself through what I offer, the client, after one particularly harrowing conversation with her daughter, decided to do just that. She cut her daughter off and the relief she felt was immediate. With each passing day, her relief grew.

Doubling down

Thirty days in, she was feeling great. But then, her old created reality, born of her belief “that’s what parents should do” reasserted itself. Her daughter reached out and kept reaching out. She wanted to “fix” their relationship. The client couldn’t resist. She felt pulled, by her belief, to reconnect. Which is what she did.

This kind of thing typically happens. A client will have an epiphany making their life much better. But then, old belief momentum draws them back into their old way of being, the being they left behind. Usually, when that happens, it shows the client why they would have been better off not letting that happen.

But there’s no way clients can get it wrong. For these kinds of “set backs” actually amplify their commitment to put themselves first. Which is exactly what happened with this client.

The reconnection was horrible. Nothing got “fixed”. And it reminded the client what had been absent for 30 days. It also put those past 30 days of relief, peace and ease in proper perspective. She wanted more of that. So she doubled down on cutting her daughter off.

The way to relief

Two weeks after her recommitment her husband said something remarkable over dinner. 

“You seem really happy,” he told her. The client agreed, she did feel happy, happier than she had in decades. The husband credited that return to happiness to his wife cutting her daughter off. But the client knew it was primarily because she was putting herself first and that caused her to make a choice she otherwise would not have been able to do.

A week later, her husband once again noticed.

“It’s so good seeing you so happy,” he said. The client agreed. She said she was returning to the self she knew before her daughter “happened”.

Now, it’s not that the client doesn’t love her daughter. She loves her and wants the best for her. But she realizes that, to be happy, she must put herself first. And when she does that, she thrives. And as she thrives, eventually, her daughter will too. That must happen because the client’s experience and everything in it, including her daughter, reflects back to her, her inner state. Before, her daughter reflected the client’s inner turmoil. Turmoil born of expecting her parents to have put her first, when, obviously, they could not have.

Their decision not to pay for their child’s college was the right thing: they had to put themselves first. The client was making them wrong for doing what they knew was right. And so, the Universe, through her daughter, was showing the client the way to relief.

^^Putting ourselves first is the best way to personal happiness. (Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash)

It’s all choice

And that’s the thing about realizing what comes from putting ourselves first. We realize no one is responsible for our happiness but us. And, no one can make us happy but us. Any other happiness source is fleeting, capricious and fickle. As such, such happiness sources are not in our best interest to put before the one relationship that really matters.

Meanwhile, as I mentioned before, everything in our experience improves when we do this. And so, the client’s daughter’s life must also improve, as she learns what her mother did: That she must put herself first and stop relying on her mother for her happiness…or anything else, including tuition, food and rent.

Relationships are not about people coming together, planning together, working out problems, coming up with solutions together, compromising, and investing in and extracting from each other what they need, all while claiming to love one another. Rather, each person is 100 percent responsible as a creator for creating the best version of their life.

When they do that, the whole world improves, but only for that person. In the meantime, those choosing a different life way fade out of that person’s experience. Then those reflecting the person’s new choice show up as reflections of that choice made.

This explains why so much variety in life experience exists. People are choosing, either deliberately or not, then the world reflects back to them the nature of that choice.

It’s all about unconditional love

This means, first cultivating a strong relationship with one’s self is paramount. When that happens, life reflects back to the person only the best things in life, because that’s just what happens when one puts themselves first. 

Then, and only then, can a person create better versions of life AND better versions of people in their lives. They create versions of people by coming into the presence of another with their relationship with themselves so secure, that that other person has no choice but to reflect back to the creator a version of them matching what’s going on in the creator.

And when the creator achieves that, sees the person exhibiting the version of themselves the creator envisioned, and then revels in that, the manifestation of evidence of their creation, then that person being created feels that reveling as unconditional love for them. And that changes that person irreparably.

That’s why selfishness is so important. It can literally change human relationships. It does that through love, which is what ourselves have in abundance for us.

And that’s how we can influence others in the best way. “Influence” happens whether we know we’re doing it or not. Unfortunately, for most of us, we’re using that influence by recreating versions of people we don’t like, by complaining about their behavior, wishing they were someone that they’re not, or complaining in general.

Meanwhile the one relationship that empowers us to have a different experience of all we experience awaits us. That relationship is all unconditional love. And when we prioritize that relationship, we become that: Unconditional love.

[transamorousnetwork]

This Trans-Attracted Man’s Life Gets Better And Better

Every time a client texts me with evidence their life is getting better, I delight in the receipt. That’s because I know when they send me such messages, they’re having the time of their lives. It’s also delightful because their improved life amplifies my knowing in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business, aka (by some) as “Wishful Thinking”. LOL.

When some people use that “Wishful Thinking” moniker, they’re being pejorative. They don’t believe this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is real. They believe that because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is working for them. It’s just reflecting back to them the manifestation of their belief: that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work, or it’s pseudoscience or new age quackery.

The jokes on them though because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business isworking, just like it does for me and all my clients. I love that!

But I love more when clients text me with their wonder. That’s what I’m writing about today.

Beliefs defending themselves

This past week a trans-attracted client finds himself as wonder-filled as I am. Except, he’s finding himself so dumbfounded by his manifestation results, he sometimes slips into disbelief.

I love when that happens too because it means that client finds himself in a Belief Confrontation. A Belief Confrontation is when All That Is shows us something at odds with our beliefs. When that happens, the juxtaposition of our belief, and the reality we’re experiencing at that moment, is so jarring, our belief “defends” itself.

Our belief doesn’t put up its dukes and gets into a fist-fight with the reality. It’s not human after all. But the energy and momentum comprising our belief is strong. And that strong momentum, when confronted with another strong momentum of energy or vibration, experiences a kind of polarity shift. Kind of like when you try put two magnets together and they repulse one another.

When that polarity shift happens in a human, the human feels an emotion. Typically the emotion is negative. That negative emotion comes on instantaneously and can feel so strong it can compel the human into a psychologically defensive stance. They’ll resist that which doesn’t accord with their beliefs. Or they might willfully ignore it. 

Our civilization is full of examples illustrating this process underway. And it’s underway all the time, everywhere.

It really works

After clients produce evidence that “you create your reality by the stories you tell” is accurate, force accompanying Belief Confrontations ease, allowing the client to feel the force without it taking them over. That’s what happened with this client. He deserves some praise because he’s significantly soothed his Belief Confrontations around the fact that he’s in the driver’s seat of his life, no one else, and that he can create any life he wants.

So when he texted me, he briefly expressed some disbelief, but followed that up with a string of evidence showing this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business works. And that balance – between the brief disbelief and the litany of evidence – amplified within him his growing momentum aligning with the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business really works!”

Here’s what he texted me:

^^A trans-attracted client amplifying his belief in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business by sharing his powerful results.

There’s no evidence proving this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work. Again, even for those who think it doesn’t work, it’s working. It’s working by showing those people a reality in which the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business doesn’t work” doesn’t work!

But for those willing to soften that belief, those people’s worlds will increasingly show them that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business does work. And as that evidence grows, the person will consciously come into their own power. The power they knew they had when they first incarnated as human.

The Charmed Life

We all came here in our human experiences to enjoy our creative power. That includes trans people. We all are incipient gods becoming more in a structure we have created as a part of the consciousness of All That Is. That sure sounds like a circular argument. But that’s only because All That Is is circular in its awareness and purpose.

All That Is is all about one thing: knowing itself through expanding its awareness of itself. That’s its purpose. And it joyfully prosecutes that purpose. We are physical expressions of All That Is seeking to expand its self-awareness. As such, we too can joyfully create our experiences as we move through our human lives.

We don’t have a choice about the expansion or the experience. But we do have a choice in how that experience happens, what’s included in it, what’s not, and how much we enjoy that experience. That’s our innate gift we give ourselves.

And when we choose to deliberately create experiences which bring us joy, then that experience of human life just gets better and better. Just as my clients are seeing in their lives. And as I’m seeing in mine. It’s the Charmed Life. And it’s available to everyone. Even trans people.

[transamorousnetwork]

Trans People Aren’t Victims And I’m Not Blaming Them

A trans-attracted guy I’m working with recently asked a question about the idea expressed in the phrase “you create your reality.”

He asked “When we tell ourselves a story that people who attract [negative] experiences bring it upon themselves through their [negative] vibration, are we also falling into the vibration of ‘blame’? Do we not all attract [negative] experiences no matter what?”

He went further as an explanation:

“Think about Jesus getting crucified, MLK getting shot, or maybe even any [negative] experience you or me have attracted in recent memory. It seems like the [negative] experiences happen no matter what. Couldn’t the same or similar circumstances still happen to a person with [highly positive] dominant momentum?”

These are excellent questions. Other clients asked similar questions before. And, I know many trans women think I’m blaming them for their troubles when I tell them they’re creating their reality, even though I’m not.

So let’s take a look at these questions as a way of clarifying what’s happening here.

The power we’ve always had

In short, no, I’m not falling into blaming people when I tell them they are creating their reality. Instead, I’m empowering them.

But it’s hard for a trans woman, or anyone really, to hear the empowerment if they’re in a deeply negative state. That’s why a few trans women write me rebutting what I offer.

I’m ok with that. I know how hard it can be to hear someone tell us we’re responsible for the problems we face. But really, who else is creating those circumstances? It seems like others are doing it. But that’s why we keep getting more of those situations; because the universe is trying to show us that, indeed, we’re doing it. And when we stop doing it, our lives improve. We also come into tremendous power. Power that was ours from the get-go.

Experiences a person with strong negative stories has cannot happen to someone else who is consistently telling positive stories. But it’s hard to tell what’s really happening with someone by outward appearances, which is why it’s best to just mind our own damn business.

For example, a client’s relatives were once highly respected church leaders. Congregation members looked up to these people as community paragons. What they didn’t know is what my client knew; that these relatives were drug-addicted alcoholics who struggled with all kinds of problems and they rarely lived behind the scenes according to what they said in church.

Creating life they saw possible

Outward appearances don’t tell the whole story. Neither do the words coming out a person’s mouth. What a person’s life looks like tells a more accurate picture. But even that can be misleading, for many reasons.

The main reason is because we each live in our own realities, separate from others’ realities. This is one reason, by the way, why we have so much power to create any reality we want; no one else exists in our reality but us. And, in that reality, we don’t have full access to another’s reality.

Overlaps do exist between people’s realities. But those overlaps are created by each individual in their own reality. In other words, we only see and experience our version of the overlap. The other person’s experience remains inaccessible.

Again, this explains why so much empowerment exists in “you create your reality”. No one else is in it but us. So we can create any experience we want, including versions of others (the overlap) matching what we want to see. These versions don’t show up in an instant, which explains why it can seem like nothing changes when it actually is changing. And this is also why it’s important to have a guide, someone who knows how this “you create your reality business” works. Such a person can show where evidence exists proving what we want is happening.

And, when a person starts seeing that evidence, joy about life returns. It was always there, but now, the person is returning to their original intent when they chose to come into physical existence: to joyfully create the life they saw possible.

So next let’s look at the leaders my client gave as examples.

About the enlightened ones

First off, Jesus isn’t a good example because he wasn’t a real person. Instead, he acted as an archetype in the imaginations of humankind at the time. Human imagination is akin to All That Is. It is the Source from which everything stems. That environment is also shared by a horde of other beings. All these beings are cooperating to guide humanity as it lives its human existence.

From time to time, humanity as a whole will receive “guidance”. It will come as a massive injection of information, usually in the form of a dream or incident, one that doesn’t happen in physical. The life of Christ was one such experience. Why else do you think there’s no physical evidence of his existence?

MLK, on the other hand was a real person. As such, his experience was different. He came into the world knowing he would have a huge impact on the world. He also knew and accepted and allowed his assassination. There are records showing this. I believe it includes a letter, written in his own hand, describing his awareness. In other words, he allowed it as part of his path.

There are lots of enlightened beings, meanwhile, who die in far more peaceful ways, including the iconic Buddha. More pass peacfully than those whose lives end tragically.

Bad things don’t happen to good people. When they seem to, then our judgement of that person is off, not what happened to them.

The contrast is all good

Now, saying someone brings a negative experience onto themselves can express blame, if the speaker IS in an energy of blaming. When I say this, however, I’m appreciative of the vast empowerment the statement implies. I’m in appreciation of the person I’m talking to; appreciation of the person’s immense power

I talk about this all the time in my blogs. Especially with regard to trans women.

“Bad things” or “contrast” as I call them, happens. But that contrast lessens the more positive we are. So while a person with chronic [negative] vibration will have their purse stolen, for example, a chronic [highly positive] person may drop a glass they were washing. Or they may experience a really hot day. Or they may want to buy something and that thing isn’t on sale anymore. They experience much less intense contrast or negative experiences in other words.

And, since a person who is REALLY highly positive recognizes that all [negative] experience is actually positive, they amplify such experiences…to the point that even these lighter versions do not happen. They happen sometimes, but they’re not experienced as contrasting experiences. It’s just all good.

Helping people find liberation 

So no, I’M not “falling into blame” by saying another who experiences [negative] experiences brings it on themselves. Everyone creates their own reality. That’s a statement of empowerment.

But if you, dear reader, are mainly in negative energy you won’t read it as empowering. Instead, you’ll read it as blaming. Everyone hears through the filters of their beliefs, they typically don’t hear what’s actually being said. And so their interpretation can vastly differ from the speaker’s intent.

Again, this explains why some trans women read what I write then double down on their beliefs, their interpretations of the world around them. If you’re one of those people, I’m not saying your interpretation is wrong or invalid. What I am saying is there’s a more empowering interpretation than saying “All the anti-trans legislation is threatening me and my sisters.” or “all men who are interested in me are tranny-chasers”.

Those kinds of interpretations of the world around you can’t possibly feel good. And that not-good-feeling is telling you something important. You may not know what it’s telling you, but that doesn’t mean it’s not trying to tell you.

For those who learn what those not-so-good feelings are saying, then take that message to heart and do something, those people’s lives get better. My clients are living proof of this. My life is too.

So no, I don’t blame trans people for negative experiences they live. I’m trying to liberate them from such experiences. How? By showing them how to liberate themselves…by giving up thinking others are doing something to them.

[transamorousnetwork]

Girls: Why The Fuck Do We Tuck?

I recently found myself at the intersection of two converging trajectories or evolutions and while I can see the outcome approaching fast, I don’t know how I feel about it.

Hold onto your butts, we’re going in….

The first evolution was my discovery of dresses last summer.

I had bought a few dresses over the five years I have been out, but never really worn them. Until last summer, that is.

Some of these dresses were sleeveless and that’s where the problem first appeared.

Comfort in my skin

I had spent the first part of summer wearing short sleeve shirts and the result was a set of very pasty shoulders and tanned forearms.

I looked like a farmer…in a bad way:

^^You say Farmer Tan, I say Ombré Skin Art

So this summer I decided to even out that tan by spending a few minutes each day in the sun in my bikini. The road to degeneracy is, however, paved with good intentions. Changing into a bikini and then back into clothes mid morning started becoming tiresome. So I started just stripping down to my panties and lying in the sun on our private balcony. This resulted in a nice light tan across my entire body except my butt which was extremely pale.

And that’s how I ended up naked, on the balcony in the sun, daily.

This naked sunbathing made me consider my body and how I felt about myself. The act of slowing down and being quiet outside did make me think that naturists are on to something and I am way more comfortable with myself now.

Ladies, if you ever feel unattractive, spend 15 minutes on your back and 15 minutes on your tummy in the sun daily. By the end of summer you will be more comfortable in your skin. There is just something about having sunshine and a light breeze on your naked skin that improves your confidence. At least it did for me.

And next summer I may join a naturist group.

Okay, so I hope y’all into TMI, because we are about to overshare.

“My filly blunt”

The other evolution is a little complicated. Transition is a slow evolutionary process. During this summer, perhaps triggered in part by my nude sunbathing or other factors, my sexuality, or rather my sexual expression, started to surface again.

Let me explain.

When switching your governing hormone your sexuality does some strange stuff. Since starting HRT my entire understanding of my own sexuality and how I express it has been completely rewritten. There was a period, shortly after I started HRT, where I almost completely lost interest in anything sexual. Then about two years ago a slow process of re-emergence started.

Slowly the lights have been coming on again so to speak.

When this happened I noted a shift in who I was attracted to, how I was attracted to them and how I thought about and experienced sex.

I also started to engage with my sexuality and its expression in new ways. An example of this is that I now find pleasure in erotic images of myself. I enjoy sharing erotic but tasteful artistic pictures with my partner. To be blunt, I started sending artsy dick-pics to my partner.

^^Censorship is the antithesis of free speech and must be resisted in all its manifold forms, specifically this form that deprives the viewer of the majestic image that has been redacted.

Oh and if you’re wondering, judging by the response, dick-pics are just one more thing women just do better than men.

Okay, enough waffling about sunbathing and erotic art, this isn’t an art blog or a sunlight therapy woo page on Facebook. This is a transsexual blog and I know you’re here for the same reasons Republicans and Gender Criticals go to Pornhub.

You’re here for the girl-dick.

So let’s talk about this filly’s blunt.

Exploring my nudity

I can’t speak for men but judging by the quality of the examples of the masculine dick-pics I have seen, men don’t think about their genitals in the same way women do. I think for men a picture of their genitals is a visual cv for their sexual qualities.

They are functional images. Its this big, its this long and its shaped in this manner which will have this effect on you when I use it in these ways. Lighting, context, focus and composition are all lost in the singular pursuit of graphic exposure. The male dick-pic is the construction drawing of nude art.

Before transition I didn’t understand the dick-pic. I assumed it was a matter of dysphoria. Showing nudes of myself that featured my penis just felt uncomfortable and ugly.

I hated it.

However, this summer I decided to explore the art of nude self portraits. I had seen a particular content creator on Instagram who specifically makes erotic self portraits via photography and I like her stuff, so I decided to try it myself.

Over the last few months, whenever I have been inspired, I have taken photos of myself in various states of undress.

“Proudly displaying their junk”

One of the things I noted very quickly was that I didn’t have that alien feeling when genitals were visibly in the images, either explicitly or implied by “the bulge”. In fact, I started to see the beauty in these photos. I didn’t see a person struggling with discordant genitals or pathetically resigned to the misery of not being able to do anything about her penis.

I legitimately saw a naked woman with a beautiful dick.

Of course the question that raised itself to me was, did I find this girl-dick beautiful because its mine and attached to me or was it all girl-dicks that had suddenly become beautiful?

My questions led me to the Trans-HiveMind.

I went back to Tumblr.

And on Tumblr I found a lot of girl-dick.

I found trans women proudly displaying their junk and trans women not so proudly displaying their junk with captions asking “would you still date me if you knew about my dick?”

Looking at these images I noted the “would you date a trans woman” posts are as tragic as those Only Fans Milfs on Insta who aim their content at middle-aged dude’s crotches.

Ladies, men don’t need begging.

Why the Fuck do we Tuck?

The posts made by trans women who are clearly comfortable with their genitals on the other hand are beautiful. In fact they are as beautiful as images of women with vaginas.

However, this is not an article to sing the praises of and promote the beauty of girl-dick.

I have far more sinister motives than that and we already know girl-dick is gorgeous.

What I am saying is girl-dick is no less desirable or beautiful or feminine than girl-vagina and when we accept this simple truth, we must ask: Why the Fuck do we Tuck?

We don’t tuck because our genitals are ugly.

We don’t tuck because it’s comfortable.

We don’t even tuck because we suffer dysphoria.

Rock it unapologetically

We tuck because we have been told by heteronormative society that women have vaginas and if your crotch isn’t a smooth, flat front then you are a man.

We have internalized the idea that we cannot be beautiful women when we have a little extra in our undies. We believe men see us, trans women, as second class because we don’t have a genital configuration that ignorance and regressive societal rules have mandated as the gold standard.

Today’s gaff is, for trans women, no different from last century’s whale boned corset for cis women. We don’t need to squeeze our organs into new positions and uncomfortable contortions to be beautiful. We don’t have to mould ourselves to the society’s regressive ideas to be beautiful.

We simply need to rock that bulge unapologetically and one day, society will catch up.

One day, a trans woman is going to walk down the catwalk at Paris Fashion week untucked and no one is going to bat an eye about the girl-dick.

Well, maybe I do know how I feel about the outcome of that intersection now.

Maybe I want to say: Vive le pénis féminin!

[transamorousnetwork]

Why Science Took So Long To “Discover” This Great Truth

Looks like science is finally catching up to spirituality. This is really good news for trans and trans-attracted people. That’s because, like many people, these people put a lot of faith and trust in science.

That faith and trust is problematic when it comes to being trans and trans-attracted. Even with that faith and trust in science, many trans and trans-attracted people struggle mightily with who and what they are. Sure, medication can and does help. But even then, struggle remains. Especially when these people’s reality continues reflecting back to them their disempowering thoughts and beliefs.

When it comes to understanding how powerful thoughts and beliefs are, science is out of its league. Which is why science can’t help people with creating their reality. But spiritualists have been helping all people find relief, then freedom then joy by showing people the power they inherently possess. People are extremely powerful. They use that power to create their reality. This includes trans and trans-attracted people.

What’s interesting is, science is just beginning to lear what Spiritualists have known for eons. Recent scientific “discoveries” are proving this.

And that’s what I’m writing about today. I’m writing about scientific research pointing to the connection between thoughts people have early in life and how those thoughts literally create debilitating and deadly illnesses later in life.

Let’s get to it.

Thoughts and beliefs matter

As I wrote above, Spiritualists such as myself have known forever that our thoughts and beliefs are the source of physical reality. Physical reality includes our physical bodies. Therefore, our physical bodies spring from thoughts we think and beliefs we hold.

If we think we were born in the wrong body, power inherent in that belief will create unpleasant realities. This explains why some trans people holding such a belief, become overweight as they get older. Their resistant belief causes them to take action (overeating) in an attempt to soothe those negative beliefs. It’s also why some of those trans people, when they accept their bodies, through physical transformation, lose significant weight. 

Thoughts are powerful. They’re so powerful, they can create any reality we want. But consciousness is more powerful than thought. It also enjoys a quality thoughts do not: consciousness is free. It can literally do, be or have whatever it can conceive.

Together, thoughts, beliefs and consciousness represent an awesome combination. This freedom and power enable a consciousness to also create things it does not want. Again, the spiritual community has known this since the beginning. We know, for example, that humans create every experience in their lives, including that body in which they are born.

That’s why spiritual teachers constantly stress the importance of being conscious of one’s thoughts and beliefs. It’s also why we encourage people not to allow others’ thoughts and beliefs into one’s consciousness, unless those thoughts and beliefs are aligned with one’s desires.

Thoughts and beliefs are building blocks of everything we experience. Now it seems some corners of science are beginning to agree. One of those corners is the body of research known as “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (ACEs).

What are ACEs?

An ACE is an exposure to one or more family-of-origin condition which sociologically can be generalized as negative. Researchers put them in three categories: Abuse, neglect and household disfunction:

^^Categories in which ACEs are organized.

According to ACEs research these events pose an extreme risk to childhood development, and long-term adult health. As Wikipedia describes it: “Scientific evidence is mounting that such adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have a profound long-term effect on health. Research shows that exposure to abuse and to serious forms of family dysfunction in the childhood family environment are likely to activate the stress response, thus potentially disrupting the developing nervous, immune, and metabolic systems of children.[2][3][4] ACEs are associated with lifelong physical and mental health problems that emerge in adolescence and persist into adulthood,[5] including cardiovascular disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, autoimmune diseases, substance abuse, and depression.[6][7][8]“

The “stress response” identified in the research causing “disruption” is important. That’s because it’s not the stress response that creates the disruption.

But science’s focus on stress response as the cause isn’t surprising. Science rests all its “discoveries” on the belief that an objective reality exists. There’s no such thing as an objective reality though. Reality, all of it, springs from within consciousness. It therefore is subjective, not objective.

Humans invented and practice science. “Human” is an experience of consciousness. Because of that, science too, is an experience of consciousness. Science therefore is subject to conscious focus, making all it researches subject to the focus consciousness brings to it.

I’m going to get back to all this in a moment because it explains why it’s taking so long for science to understand what spiritualists have known for eons. But for now, let’s look at this “stress response” in more detail.

What is stress?

Stress isn’t an emotion. Stress is, however, a physical state arising from an emotional experience. It (stress) shows up in the body when a person interprets an experience (a stressor) as physically or psychologically threatening or challenging. “Interprets” is an act of thinking. So we can say that when one thinks something is challenging or threatening, then they will feel the physical effect in the body called “stress”.

We know not everyone experiences stressors similarly. One person’s stressor can be another’s “normal” or even their happy place. The difference lies in how each person interprets or thinks about the experience.

So stress results from thinking about the experience, not the experience itself. Indeed, research confirm this. From a Wikipedia article on stress (the underlined portion is ours):

“Stress is a non-specific response.[5] It is neutral, and what varies is the degree of response. It is all about the context of the individual and how they perceive the situation…A stressor is inherently neutral meaning that the same stressor can cause either distress or eustress. It is individual differences and responses that induce either distress or eustress.[8]

Stress then, is a physical manifestation. It is a physical reality showing up in the body. It manifestswhen a consciousness interprets – thinks about something – in a particular way: A thought happens and from that thought a manifestation results: stress.

“Stress response” then, indicated as the cause of disruption when exposed to an ACE, is not the cause of the disruption. It is a response to the cause.

Another word we could use to describe “disruption” is “manifestation”. “Stress responses” don’t cause “manifestations”. Stress responses are manifestations. Disruptions, therefore, are further-evolved versions of the stress-response manifestation.

Let’s look at what I mean.

It’s circular logic but accurate

First there is energy. Energy is all there is. It is All That Is. You and I are vibrational energy. Energy comprises everything. And all that energy is aware, conscious and mobile. Energy, therefore is conscious, aware action.

Because it is action, it gives rise to vibration. When conscious energy focuses itself, the vibration it emits gives rise to a predecessor of thought. That predecessor I call thought form. It is not yet a thought. But the evolution or momentum of energy’s vibration, as that energy focuses itself, continues gaining momentum. When further evolved conscious energy, such as a human, perceives thought form, the focus on that form evolves the thought form further into what humans know as a “thought”.

If you dismissively think this is circular logic, then you’re dismissing the fundamental nature of All That Is. All That Is is circular in nature. It exists to become more. And it does that by knowing itself. That’s circular!

So when some trans women reading my stories dismissively accuse me of circular logic, they don’t realize they’re accurately describing what the Universe is all about. It’s circular in its basic foundation! So my logic accords with how All That Is actually works!

By the time conscious energy that has evolved itself through thought into a manifested form such as a human, when that human perceives thought, that thought is “perceived” through a process of attraction. By attraction, I simply mean “like attracts like” or an energetic resonance like two magnets attracting each other. Thoughts aligned with the energy perceiving the thoughts get drawn to the perceiving energy. When that happens, those thoughts become perceptible. Then momentum begins.

^^Reality is circular.

How thoughts create disease

That momentum will draw other energy like itself until the energy further expands or evolves. Spiritual people call the evolution of energy “manifestation”; thoughts become things. That happens through manifestation or the evolution of energy as I’ve described above.

So when a person interprets a stressor, they’re thinking. The person is an evolved – a manifested – form of energy in action. Their thinking process is nothing more than attraction in action. When the person interprets a stressor as a threat or challenge, that act of interpretation or thought begins a process of energetic evolution of action energy. The thought evolves from thought form, into thought then into a physical manifestation: stress in the body. Science and psychology call that physical manifestation the “stress response”.

As with all manifestation and focus, momentum ensues. The person focusing on a threat or challenge, by the nature of their focus, generates more energy action – momentum – in other words. That momentum, spurred by the person’s continued focus, must evolve, attract and become more. The “more” here is what researchers are calling “disruption.”

They’re using the word “disruption” because typically that describes an interruption of the normal processes of the body becoming more. As the body evolves or grows or matures more in line with focus given by the energy inhabiting the body (the personality or person), natural, positive processes of action/evolution take place. These positive processes are how a child’s body grows into an healthy adult one.

But when the person chronically manifests “stress” in their body, that chronic stress interrupts those processes. The interruptions lead to disease. The person’s thoughts, therefore, are what produces disease not the disruption or the stress. Stress and disruption aren’t the cause. They are intermediary steps. Which brings us elegantly, wonderfully, back to the ACEs.

ACE-Disease Correlation

Researchers realized in the mid-1990s stunning associations between these ACEs and nearly every chronic psychological and physical problem. To spiritualists, this is not a “discovery”. We’ve known that thoughts create reality since forever.

Yet these associations are worth noting. That’s because, even though every person is more spiritual than anything else, a remarkably large number discount their spiritual nature in practice, choosing instead to focus like science does: on an objective reality separate from themselves. One in which things can happen to them against their will, where luck is a thing, where “bad things happen to good people” and where “in every life a little rain must fall”.

ACEs researchers in Montana realized remarkable correlations between ACE exposure and disease of all kinds in both children and adults. For example:

Children with an ACE score of 1 are 19.6% more likely to develop a chronic condition requiring above routine amount or type of health care services, almost doubling to 36.1% with 2+ ACEs.

Children with an ACE score of 1 are 26.9% more likely to be overweight or obese, with minimal change to 26.7% with 2+ ACEs.

Adults with an ACE score of 4 or more are 1220% more likely to attempt suicide, 1003% more likely to use injected drugs, 460% more likely to have recent depression, and 390% more likely to have lung disease.

Adults with an ACE score of 2 or more are 400% more likely to consider themselves an ‘alcoholic.’

Finally, at least 5 of the top 10 leading causes of death are associated with ACEs.

What I see here are disempowering thoughts manifesting into mental and physical disease and death. I wrote “disempowering” on purpose. That’s because there’s another manifestation that happens before the stress response. We should look at that next.

We overlook important clues: our emotions

The action of thought turning to things includes a step we’ve ignored up to now. That step comes in between attracting a thought and the manifestation that thought evolves into. Every person is familiar with this intermediary step. Yet, they don’t realize how powerful and important that step is. We humans call that step “emotion”.

Every thought we think produces an emotion. That’s obvious for really strong thoughts, ones with a lot of momentum behind them. And yet every thought comes associated with an emotion.

Emotions tell us something critical. Ignoring that message is what contributes to creating “negative” manifestations including those which interrupt bodily evolution and create disease.

One of the most important message emotions offer is they tell us what manifestations we have in the works are going to be like when they become “reality”. The message couldn’t be clearer. Emotions that feel good tell us manifestations we have underway are aligned with what we’re wanting to experience. Emotions that don’t feel good tell us manifestations we’re creating are notaligned with what we’re wanting to experience.

What we want or don’t want is shaped by the collection of core values and intents as well as desires day-to-day experiences stimulate from within us. Our wants include every possible conception. From how we want to feel psychologically and physically, to the life we want to enjoy, and the death we prefer.

Our lack of connection to these emotional clues explains how most of us create terrible manifestations; ones we think we would never create for ourselves. And yet we do.

Let’s look at how and why.

Learning ourselves

No one, it seems, would create on purpose getting raped or dying in a terror attack as a manifestation. No one would choose to experience losing their job or ending up homeless or addicted to meth. Many people would even say that no one would choose to be born trans.

But if you look at what I’ve shared so far, you can see quite logically how people would end up in such situations. These things aren’t happening to them. As hard as it may be to accept it, these experiences are springing from them. From the thoughts and beliefs they as a point of consciousness have allowed into themselves.

In other words, something in them attracts negative thoughts. It could be previous experiences in this life in which they’ve formed negative thoughts or beliefs. Perhaps it’s a thought or belief they’ve accepted from another. Or it could be a thought or belief they bring from a previous life. Yes, the energy incarnating as human is eternal. It has and will forever exist as it moves through progressive experiences (lives) as a way of knowing itself. Just like All That Is does.

^^Tragedies aren’t random. (Photo by John Middelkoop)

Resonance between that “something” and the thought it attracts causes the attracted thought to bind into place. It joins in the individual’s vibrational mix. Momentum ensues from the binding. Then that thought will cause the person to take action, action that will rendezvous the person with a reality reflecting back to that person the vibrational mix inside them.

In this way, conscious energy incarnate as human learns what it has in its vibrational mix. So these reflections, what humans call physical reality, are how conscious energy knows itself.

Constant clues coming for our benefit 

I laid out a detailed progression describing how a person ends up creating an experience whereby she is raped. So I won’t detail the progression again. There are an infinite number of ways a point of conscious can manifest any negative experience, including rape.

But there are as many ways a point of consciousness can manifest any positive experience too. And this is where the empowerment of what you’re reading comes in. It’s also why All That Is includes people like me, spiritualists, who are here constantly reminding people what they are.

We all create our reality. When trans women read that, most immediately go to “victimhood” or “disempowerment”: “I didn’t create this thing I suffer from”, they say. They rarely go to “empowerment”: “Really? That means I can create ANYTHING! Show me how!”

Along the way to every manifestation, we constantly get clues about what we’re creating. Emotions are just one of those clues. What shows up is yet another. A person doesn’t go from being happy to getting raped. Along that path, they experience ever more intense clues giving them a heads up as to what’s coming, starting with emotion. Abraham makes it plain:

But if the person ignores the early clues, then they’ll keep coming, until the clues are so intense they can’t be ignored.

So now, with all this in your mind, let’s look at why science is so slow in discovering things like the direct connection between thoughts and physical disease.

The slow pace of science 

Speaking of clues, the ACEs research gives us a lot of clues as to why it takes science so long to realize what spiritualists have known for eons. The first reason is obvious: science depends on an objective reality as the basis of the Universe. This is a complete distortion.

Reality is 100 percent subjective. A consensus reality exists, in which all consciousness agrees on some basic assumptions. But any individual consciousness can breach even those assumptions if their focus is strong enough. As such, no individual’s experience resembles another no matter how similar it physically appears. This is readily testable and, if the test is done correctly, over time, will produce convincing results for any individual.

^^From Wikipedia: The basic assumptions of science’s scientific method.

And that’s the problem with science and its inability to quickly get to what’s really happening in the Universe. It requires agreement. That’s a problem.

Since we’re all experiencing our own, separate realities, we can create any reality we desire and quickly. But because science and other methods have almost forced us to focus more on the consensus reality instead of our individual one, it can take a long time to manifest our desires. What’s more, many of those same methods, including science, make pronouncements totally out of whack with what’s really happening, by claiming some things impossible, that, actually, are not.

Anything the Universe inspires us to conceive can be our experience. THAT is a basic premise of the Universe. But if a person disbelieves the inspiration, or a body of knowledge says it’s impossible and the person believes that, then that person will not be able to go against their powerful focus. Their focus telling them it is impossible.

The power of focus limits or expands

And this is why science moves forward as though through molasses. Scientists believe in an objective reality. So the Universe presents that to them because they believe such a reality exists. Meanwhile, science also believes that which is real must be repeatable by others and agreed to by those same others. So the Universe offers that as the criteria by which science proves its “discoveries”.

Further, laws science has “discovered” and banks on, by those laws, makes some things, in scientist’s, view impossible. Other interpretations or experiences they dismiss as pseudoscience or delusions or hallucinations. At best they consider them “unexplainable”.

All of this greatly slows down “discoveries” science makes. All the while, people like me are proving things to be much different than what science claims. I know, for example that thoughts become things. I know that children aren’t innocently born as blank slates. They come into the world as wise, eternal beings, here to explore themselves in this unique plane. And because they are eternal, they come into the world with a strong trajectory of past interpretations of past experiences; an eternal collection which shapes their values and intents.

Those intents include some things we could call “good” and some we would likely call “bad”. All of those intents are being worked through in collaboration and cooperation with every other point of consciousness human and non human. That collaboration is what comprises All That Is. It also comprises the world in which you and I seem to live.

And none of those things you or I don’t want to experience need be a part of our experience. But they will if we invite them. And we invite them through our focused thoughts.

^^This is a powerful, eternal being. Not a blank slate. (Photo by Alex Hockett)

Spirit-infused science

That’s why so many struggle in life. They don’t know what you just read. So they invite all kinds of things they don’t want, while doubling down on beliefs that encourage doing that. They think luck is real, including bad luck. They believe life is random and that bad things can happen to them against their will.

It’s why parents perpetuate Adverse Childhood Experiences to their children. Of course, children coming into those experiences are choosing those experiences, so no harm, no foul because there are no victims. And yet, the world we see with all its wars, anti-trans legislation, transphobia, pain and poverty reflects the total state of consciousness and the all-that-is-ness of All That Is.

And in all that, everything is, ultimately, good. If more people can get to that point – seeing all as good – then the world will truly be a better place. But for now, too many people are looking at the world and all the “bad” out there. And through that focus they feel bad about the world, not knowing that bad feeling tells them they are creating more of what they’re feeling bad about.

So this isn’t a story about the age-old fight between spirituality and science. What it is is an attempt to show that there is as valid a source of wisdom in spirituality as there is science. Indeed, I’d say there’s more value in spirituality.

Why?

Because all we experience is spiritual. Including the scientific method. After all, many scientific discoveries (all of them actually) come through dreams, ideations while showering or in similar situations where the mind is on auto-pilot. In other words, times when conciousness is given free rein to tap into All-That-Is-wisdom.

The future of gods

That process has allowed science to give us all kinds of “breakthroughs”. Science therefore is benefiting us. From an individual perspective, however, we each can move much faster towards a life we desire by casting off reliance on science and instead relying on our essential natures, which are literally infinitely more capable, powerful and expansive. Limitless really.

Doing so requires intense focus. That’s because we must release beliefs most of us hold which block that limitless capability. Everything is possible. And, that limitless possibility expresses itself best at the level of the individual. The individual possessing the knowledge spiritualists have known forever: that we are gods in human form. And everything is possible to those who know themselves as such.

The being who chooses to come into the world through families with many of these ACE conditions or as a trans person are no different. Imagine powerful intentions such experiences spark in them. For when we know what we don’t want, we also know what we want. Any one of those people who line up with what they want, instead of what they don’t will, in rapid fashion, create astonishing worlds.

Which is why I write about how wonderful trans women are.

As it is, however, science burdens such people with “trauma” and labels like “gender dysphoria” thereby fostering more momentum behind thoughts manifesting chronic mental and physical imbalances.

At some point I know scientists will realize their error as they did around homosexuality being a mental illness or sin, or women and black people being inferior. When they do, we will be in a completely different world. Where science acknowledges the Source of all it knows: the spirit world.

We still have a ways to go before we get there though. And that’s ok.

[transamorousnetwork]

The Paradox Of Transgender Physical Reality

I recently had a wonderful encounter with two trans women. We attended a block party hosted by our local community center. One reason our encounter was “wonderful” was because I intended to manifest a reality wherein I met, at the block party, one of these two trans women who I had seen earlier this summer.

I’ll describe how I did that later as well as what happened next. I’ll do that while sharing about the apparent paradox I notice with trans women, one giving rise to troubles trans women face. The paradox was on beautiful display in my conversation with these two lovely people.

A client session I had also showed the same paradox, this time though, through the words of a transamorous man. The paradox I’m writing about, therefore, isn’t only happening for trans women; it’s happening for trans-attracted guys too.

It’s actually happening with every human. But since this blog is about trans/trans-attracted people, I want to keep my focus on transgender women and the men who love them, in hopes of soothing this tendency among people I care about.

Let’s dive in.

Hold on a sec

Before I dive in, a note of warning. I add this in posts sometimes because trans women write me complaining I’m invalidating their experience by telling them they create their reality through the thoughts and beliefs they think and hold. I’ve written post after post giving tangible, repeatable evidence how this happens. And yet, after reading posts in which I offer this warning, I still get trans women telling me I’m invalidating the trans experience. Of course, I know why they do that: it’s because I keep writing what you’re reading in this paragraph (LOL).

In other words, by harping on this, I’m attracting to myself insecure trans women who feel compelled to share their insecurity with me.

I’m guaranteeing some trans woman will be drawn to my writings. She’ll have a dominant negative disposition, although she’ll claim she doesn’t, and from there, from the insecurity dominant negative disposition creates within her, she’ll read what you’re reading right now. Then she’ll read the rest of this story and still make a comment that I’m invalidating her experience.

So here’s the disclaimer again: I know there are realities in which people are anti-trans. I get that legislatures in many nations are crafting anti-trans bills. Those are valid experiences and real as far as physical reality goes. I also know that no trans person needs to have those things in their personal experience. That’s the reason why I write this stuff. I write this stuff to help guide trans women (and trans-attracted men) who are ready to free themselves from lives that suck and eliminate gender bigots from their experience. So if you aren’t ready to do that, please, don’t read any further. This story is for people who are ready.

Ok, let’s look at what happened at this block party.

Intention creates a “coincidence”

I had seen one of the trans women, I’ll call her Charlie, a few times this summer. We barely made eye contact as we passed, her leaving the center, me just arriving. One day we did make eye contact though and we both greeted each other, I thought, warmly.

I wanted to get to know her, but only as a friend. After all, I didn’t know her and who knows if we matched. These days I’m not looking for a partner as my life is full as it is. Yet, I felt drawn to this person.

Knowing what I know, I set the intention that I’d see her at the block party. The community center had advertised it for some time now and it was just around the corner.

Now, think about this. The event was all day on a Saturday. There’s a high probability, given the over 12 hours of event time and hundreds of people who would show up, that I would not see Charlie. From a “realistic” stand point, we’d pass like ships in the night, with she going at one time, staying a while, and me going at another time.

But I know what I know. I know the Universe bends to our intentions when we allow ourselves to be aligned with our Broader Perspective. I’ve done that for decades now, so I know my chances of meeting a stranger more than once isn’t up to chance or coincidence. It’s completely up to my intention to want to see them and my belief that I will.

It wasn’t a surprise, therefore, when, I arrived at the event and, in the first five minutes saw Charlie walking around.

Changing topics….slightly

I have a Transamorous client who is making great headway in cleaning up his stories. I write about him often on this blog. He’s the client wanting to be a successful comedian. 

This week we talked about his very first stage performance. It went way better than he thought it would. As it should have because he, like me, understands how the Universe works. So he set an intention that it would go well and it did.

While reviewing the recording he made of the performance he and I talked about what could have been better. One thing we talked about was his use of the word “faggot”. In the routine he calls himself a “faggot”. He does so at the end of a very humorous story about his trans attraction.

We both agreed however, that the delivery of that word stood out from all the rest in the sentence. He way over emphasized it, thereby calling attention to it. The emphasis felt out of place to me. So I asked him about that.

Our words create our worlds

He agreed that he did overemphasize the word and said it was because internally he was still uncomfortable with his trans attraction. He still has some beliefs that conflate being trans-attracted with being gay. And that conflation has him feeling negative about himself, he said. 

That’s why when he spoke that word he did so with overemphasis. It was his fear of being judged manifesting, he said, an over compensation for his negative self-image and fear that he would be judged. I agreed with that assessment.

It’s interesting how our behaviors, including our words can reveal so much about our inner state. Our words literally create our world. That is the basis of what I share with my clients. And when that world gets created, everything in it is a reflection of one’s inner state. That includes other people as well as our own words and actions.

For example, this morning at breakfast I had a wonderful conversation with a stranger. We talked about spirituality and she asked about what I do for work. While answering that question I shared how while it’s highly satisfying working with clients, I prefer a life where money just comes to me without having to do anything for it.

Love reflected back to me

Sarah then said “I know you know this, but you could create a reality where all the things you need, like your rent and food, are just taken care of for you. Why do you need to focus on money?”

I said “I appreciate you saying that because right this moment in this now, you are the reflection showing me that I still have resistance about money in my vibration. It’s very subtle, but it’s obviously still there and I know this because you said what you said.”

At that moment she gave me a big smile and said “I love you so much!” Her expression of love was acknowledging that my statement was spot on. Totally in line with what we both knew. And, it was a reflection of my own self-awareness, my clarity of my expansion and the fact that my word creates my world, including others in it, which includes Sarah.

Then I shared with her my experience with money and the disempowering beliefs I once held, beliefs that are still there, but greatly diminished, evidenced by my ability to perceive her question as a reflection rather than criticism.

I think you might see where this is going…

Back to the block party

I grabbed a free hot dog and some macaroni salad. The salad was ok but the hot dog was scrumptious! Walking around I saw the trans woman I saw moments before. Walking with her was another trans woman. They walked over to a picnic table and took a seat. I decided I’d go meet them both.

I sat at the other end of the table after asking if it was ok to do so. They said yes, of course. I write “of course” because this was the unfolding of my earlier intention. Of course they would say yes! They were cooperative components to my desire.

Turns out the girl I wanted to get to know and the other girl, I’ll call Allie, are a couple. I also found out Charlie is a lifeguard at the community center. She’s super tall and lanky. Allie works at a vet clinic in town. She used to work at Whole Foods.

While talking amongst ourselves, Allie, referring to Charlie, overemphasized the fact that Charlie is a woman by strongly, loudly saying “SHE enjoys HER job.” When she did that, I paused, just for a moment, before continuing with my side of the conversation.

^^The community center where I met Charlie and Allie.

Trigger finger reaction

Later Allie and Charlie excused themselves and left the event. I sat there, finished my hot dog and reveled in the fact that I had manifested the opportunity to hear more about Charlie and got to meet her partner. I also knew my positive vibes had a big impact on them both.

On my way home though, I thought about what Allie did. It reminded me of my client the comedian. I wish I had the presence of mind to call her out on that. But at the same time, I get it. I suppose many trans women are not comfortable enough being trans such that they don’t invite people who misgender them. 

That’s right, everyone creates their reality. Trans women are no exception. I get this too though: most trans women don’t know what you just read, let alone believe it. So when they’re constantly being misgendered, or looked at strangely, rather than doing something that could eliminate those experiences from their lives, they instead overemphasize them. They do that by making up really negative stories about why they were misgendered or stared at. 

Doing that, they perpetuate those experiences in their lives. The cycle happens over and over. Meanwhile more things aligned with their focus show up, anti-trans legislation, for example. By the time those start showing up, the trans women believe they’re right: that the world is against them.

Then they get trigger happy about it. They come to expect to get misgendered, for example. So when Allie spoke, she wasn’t speaking that way because I was about to misgender Charlie. Such a thing would never cross my mind.

But she had her finger on the pronoun trigger. And to preempt her perceived need to correct me, pulled the trigger in advance, unnecessarily overemphasizing Charlie’s pronouns.

The world is getting better…See it?

Allie doesn’t know what my clients and I know. She doesn’t know that by doing that she’s positioned herself to experience exactly what she thought she was preventing: somewhere down the line she’s going to be misgendered.

And she’ll keep being misgendered until she does something about beliefs she has creating those situations.

Those situations don’t have to happen to any trans woman. That they happen at all says something every trans woman should want to know: that the world is a diverse place. While there are many people out there who are anti-trans and more than willing to call out trans people using the wrong bathroom or misgender trans people, there are plenty of people who won’t do those things. There are people out there who will see trans women for what and who they are and treat them thusly. Like me, for example.

This is why I constantly write about how great the world is getting for trans people. I do that because it IS getting better.

But as long as trans women focus on and amplify situations where they are misgendered, where anti-trans legislation is being crafted, or whatever JK Rowling Tweets, they create more momentum behind such experiences. That momentum builds until suddenly, seemingly, even the government is against trans people. Even though it’s not. Nor is the rest of society.

It’s hard to hear but no less false

It seems counterintuitive but taking one’s attention away from such events also takes all the wind out of the sails propelling such events to their fruition. That’s right, we don’t eliminate transphobia by collectively pushing against it. That elimination happens at the individual level, with each individual choosing thoughts and beliefs which makes it impossible for the transphobe to find that person. When every trans person does that, transphobes will still exist, but they won’t have any impact on the community.

That they do have an impact tells us there are many trans people focusing on transphobia and other unwanted situations. That focus turns into experiences. And that’s why those on the receiving end of transphobia experience those things. Nothing, no one else is responsible.

^^ Abraham putting it plain. We all create the reality we experience.

That can be hard to hear for someone feeling victimized by transphobia. But there are no victims. Only powerful creators being too stubborn to accept that they create their reality, then taking the reins of the creation process and creating something they want, instead of what they don’t.

You can lead a horse to water, goes the saying. I’m willing to write millions of words to lead every trans woman to the refreshing, thirst-quenching power they possess. I realize, however, that few are ready to hear what I’m sharing.

Those who do hear find themselves free of what most trans women complain about. They’re in successful careers. They’re married to cisgender men. In other words, they’re getting lives they love because they’re deliberately creating them.

They’ve broken free of the physical reality most transgender women face. They’ve done it by doing something out of the ordinary: by becoming curious about the idea that they create their reality. No one else.

[transamorousnetwork]

Prominent Republican: “I’m a perv”

Back in February I wrote a post about how conservative populations include some of the most trans-attracted people despite that population’s anti-trans rhetoric. It was a story I enjoyed writing, mainly because evidence supporting the story was so compelling. I also wrote about how blatant hypocrisy among conservative transphobes was, in fact, fueling momentum for the “future inclusion of trans people”.

Now, this past week, life served a perfect example of that hypocrisy…on steroids.

Last week, CNN outed prominent republican and Trump darling Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson as a hypocrite, a self-proclaimed “black Nazi” and more. But what really made him news to this blog is that the story reveals extensive evidence of Robinson being an avid trans-porn consumer, making him a trans-attracted, queer. In other words…his own words… “a perv…”

His history is clear

Now, trans-attraction isn’t a bad thing. There are probably hundreds of thousands of men who are trans-attracted. I write about this all the time on this blog from a positive perspective. I’ve even defined an evolutionary process trans-attracted men move through as they come to accept what they are.

Robinson is at the “chaser” stage of this process. He had been unwilling to admit his attraction publicly. Now that the news is out against his will, he’s denying it vehemently. That makes sense. Robinson vilifies trans people and gay people as part of his far right political platform. The record is clear on Robinson’s thoughts about trans and gay people.

Indeed, his hypocrisy contributes to what I described in my post back in February. It:

“…creates a lot of unnecessary nail-biting and hand wringing. It also creates a lot of wasted time and expense. Not to mention anxiety and self-loathing among those I love. After all, unless one is positively focused, loving oneself is really hard in today’s society. Especially when swaths of the population hate what you are…”

“…a lot of data supports the unseemly double-standard Republicans hold when it comes to trans people: they secretly love what they publicly hate.”

This anecdotal, yet factual evidence from Robinson’s past adds to the body of evidence showing that a lot of conservatives are also trans-attracted or even queer themselves. Even while they attack people in our community.

With Robinson’s outing, his political career might be losing steam. For now, the GOP-er refuses to embrace his past. How could he? It already might be career-ending. Trump, for example, already delisted him from his next presidential rally according to news reports.

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As ugly as his views are, we can see this news from an empowering, positive perspective. One is we once again have our suspicions confirmed: many of those trying to restrict trans freedoms are, in fact, trans-attracted and may themselves be trans or at least queer. Second, we can see much of their rhetoric reflects a strong momentum of self-denial and even self-loathing. I mean, come on!  A black man supporting a return to the days of slavery????

So these people are acting out of a profound lack of self-acceptance. That’s worthy of our compassion. Not anger.

Third, there are people out in the world working to make trans lives freer, safer and more prosperous. Some of those people don’t know consciously that that’s what they’re doing. But they do the work anyway. Thank goodness too for the internet archive, which, apparently CNN used to verify much of what they found about Robinson.

The world is getting better for trans people. I’ve written this so many times. Revelations about Robinson strike nerves for sure. But they also add to the many examples showing trans-phobes for what they actually are. Often they’re legitimate chasers, so consumed in self-hate that they project their hate onto the very people they secretly love.

The more of these stories come out, the better life gets for trans people. The more stories about trans people that get made, the better life gets for trans people. And as more men come out proudly loving trans women, the better the world gets too. So much is happening making the world better for trans women.

So let’s thank Robinson. He’s not doing it consciously. But as his past acts catch up with him and hopefully ruin his career, they’re also making the world better.