transformerskinfessions

[transformerskinfessions]

I can't help but feel guilty for the source memories I have...

I miss my Lord, despite the absolute horrors I endured at his side. It's sort of our brain's way of rationalising and coping with our "true" memories of similar problems.

I wish I was back there, on the Nemesis, second in command with him looming over. It just felt right, like it's the one place I fit, stood in his shadow.

I almost want to seek out an introject of him with similar experiences, but I know that isn't healthy or acceptable...

- Starscream (fictive)

[transformerskinfessions]

Hey anon, you’re question isn’t something I can help with. This is just a confession blog, and I’m not a system so I don’t have any advice to give anyway </3

Best of luck!

[transformerskinfessions]

Sometimes I find myself wishing I didn't have my more mundane source memories. Do they matter? The first impression anyone familiar with my source will ever have of me is of what I'd done. I've been miserable because of what I'd done. What good does it do to remember the nice, simple bits? They don't do anyone any good.

I obviously didn't get on very well with Ambulon, but he wasn't terrible company so long as we kept quiet. I remember working with him in silence and feeling at ease about it— as easy as I could there.

I remember seeing Ratchet for the first time after his promotion under Zeta. He'd gone silent for a while, presumably because of the Nominus controversy Orion and him were involved with, but I didn't care about that very much and I helped him find some excuses to leave the parties he barely tolerated. We talked about scientific journals on the roof. He was the first person I told about Altihex. He knew things no one else did. No one else does. No one gets to know now.

I don't feel like I have many chances to tell other people these things. I wouldn't really want to, not without a good reason, but that aside—my point. I have a point. I have a good point. I would almost rather have more of the bad memories. I don't have to miss them. I don't have to miss any of them. And I don't. I don't. I don't.

Pharma 🫀

[transformerskinfessions]

I wish I could hate you, but you always were too dear to my spark. I’ll have to settle for kicking you in the panels if our paths ever cross again.

Call it a form of petty revenge.

[transformerskinfessions]

There are times I hate being stuck in this fleshy organic body. The gender feels right [I never told my Lord that I never felt quite right being referred to as a mech, he was unpredictable enough that I never knew how he would react, I could not risk it] but I feel this body rotting around me.

Rotting the way my own did when Vos fell, when I was pulling the empty frames of my people out from under rubble, even as the radiation ate away at my protoform.

Skywarp, Thundercracker. . I am sorry. Sorry that I let you down, sorry that my own anger and jealousy drove me to allow you to die. I have regretted it ever since, and if I had a chance to have you standing before me once more, I would hug you so hard, and then take whatever punishment you deigned to give out so that maybe, maybe there would be a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation. I miss both of you more than I can even express. -Your trine leader.

[transformerskinfessions]

Skywarp back at it again. Been a couple months. I… I have a wonderful trineleader now, yeah? He’s an absolute dream. We work, even though we’re a two-mech unit.

But I think of my Starscream, sometimes. and it just… it makes me want to claw out my spark. Because why couldn’t he have been Trine-Proper, instead of… using TC and I as pawns to fulfill his agenda? I loved that mech, I would have and did kill for him. I opened my processor and spark to him. Realizing that… he never truly did the same back… it. It burns, you know? Realizing that he never cared how a trineleader should have. Realizing that he should have done better, been better.

It makes me feel like an idiot for missing him still.

[transformerskinfessions]

No. NO. I can NOT be *Download* of all bots are you kidding me. I am in about 5 PANELS!!! My existence is a paragraph on the wiki. I'm sooo done with like everything. Why. You can't even Google me

[transformerskinfessions]

It's not just "I wish" anymore. I need him. One more night where's he's too tired to maintain professionalism and tired enough to be himself. I need him like my organs need my ribcage. He didn't always know what to say or do, he definitely couldn't fix it, but he was there. I need him to sit with me for one more night, questions too blunt because he gets caught up in the fact he's trying to ask a difficult question he needs an answer to. I need his hand on my shoulder, I need to feel his uncertain, but yearning kiss. I need him. I need a good night where we don't think about what's outside the walls because together like this it doesn't exist, not until tomorrow. He deserved more time. What would he say now? I can do this alone, but it's going to be so much harder without him.

🩺

[transformerskinfessions]

Hot Tip: If you wrote in canon and you get a class assignment to analyse a writing just do your writing. You made it you know what you meant.

This tip brought to you by I had to analyse a quote about revolution in history so I chose one from Towards Peace, didn't tell him where it's from, and just explained what I was saying when I wrote that quote. My teacher said the quote was "very insightful" and then brought up my analysis points in class. Sniles so sneetly he even doesn't know I was talking about functionism.

-Megatron (IDW continuity)

[transformerskinfessions]

My memories are really fuzzy and confusing but one thing is clear. I miss my trine. Like... a lot. I miss flying with them and going into battle with them and even just talking with them. I miss Skyfire too. We talked a lot. I also remember something about a moonlight field. Something was really important about that field and I flew to it almost every night.

All of that to say... I NEED MY PEOPLE (or really anyone who'd like to chat). Follow and DM me if you remember a Starscream like this.

@pretty-poisonn!!

[transformerskinfessions]

i miss percy… like a lot…. </3 like a lot a lot… -brainstorm

[transformerskinfessions]

Hello, uh. Never done one of these before, but I'm a First Aid fictive. I'm the system's co-host and that seems to be the way of it for the foreseeable future. I'm looking for, well, anyone! Anyone who misses Cybertron, or misses what it was like to transform, or the people they knew. I'd really just like to know people who GET it, whether you share a continuity or not. 20+ only, I'm nearly 28 myself. You can follow me on this blog, just heed the pinned. I'd also like to say that while I might talk about memories and people in them, I understand the separation of them and anyone who happens to kin or be a fragment identifying with said character. AKA no projection or expectations from me! Doubles welcome! It's a new life, I've got no grudges and no demands for atonement. Be yourself, drink water, and welcome!

@firstaid-box !!

[transformerskinfessions]

I hate going onto the b-127 tag and seeing ppl bitch about me being "babied". Saw someone say that me having energon with me was proof I was older than everyone else???? Like

1: those were my rations???

2: apparently only ppl over 40 are allowed to have little snackies with them??

Like when you say ppl are babying b-127 I look at the content and it's just me being silly??? Is a man not allowed to partake in joyous whimsy as an adult??? "B-but they're babying bees neurodivergent traits" listen to me. Look at the person making the art. Look at the transformers fandom as a whole. Do you REALLY think that person is trying to hurt neurodivergent people. Or do you think maybe it's a neurodivergent person seeing traits they see in themselves and drawing them more???

Saying ppl drawing bee having fun, being gullible, or seeing optimus as a father figure I'd babying is just incorrect??? Go read the definition of babying??? If you are mad at someone for drawing a character doing the very things you call neurodivergent traits that says more about YOU than it does the artist.

Someone drawing me hugging optimus isn't hurting anyone ffs stop being shitty and let YOUR inner child heal.

- very tired b-127 fictive 🐝🃏

[transformerskinfessions]

To that First Aid that wanted their confession deleted: you sent an anonymous ask so I can’t respond privately, but it’s been deleted 👍🏽

[transformerskinfessions]

Oh, look at the time. *I flash my watch which just says "Missing Ambulon Hour" twelve times.

🩺

[transformerskinfessions]

missing being among other flyers. not a seeker, but casual/playful racing with others and just having that social time in the sky was always very fulfilling (still would be if i was capable, haha). others who didn't know me well never expected me to be a fast flyer as a shuttle, but it was always fun to surprise someone with it when i was underestimated! (i do have a few memories similar to this with the elite trine, it was good times while they lasted.) - skyfire

[transformerskinfessions]

Hello, I'm a Pharma fictive (IDW) and I am desperately looking for just about ANYONE. My canon or not, my source or not. I simply want people who understand. Kinnies and Ficitves alike, I just miss home. I am 24, so please MDNI i would be more comfortable that way

@pharmasurgical !!