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Optimus, over comms: Just got to Cybertronian Costco. Where are you? Ratchet: Liquor aisle. Bring another cart.

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Getaway: *wearing a cape that says 'Rodimus Prime Hate Club President'* Rodimus: *dramatically turns around to reveal a cape saying 'Rodimus Prime Hate Club Founder'*

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Ultra Magnus: What a lovely, quiet day! Ultra Magnus: ....I left Rodimus in the grocery store, didn't I? Drift: I was wondering when you were going to realize

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B-127: So today I was thinking we can play checkers and tell each other our deepest darkest secrets Megatron, sobbing: Optimus paid the ransom three days ago please go home

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*texting Starscream* Wheeljack: Hey Wheeljack: Are you done being a brat

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Drift: There are some things I can just see. It’s like a sixth sense. Ratchet: No, actually, that would be one of the five.

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Thundercracker: Really enjoying the little u at the end of impromptu. Very unexpected. Nicely done. Marissa:

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Rodimus: (cuts his finger) Drift: Let me kiss it better Rodimus: That works? Drift: Of course! (later) Rodimus: I need you to punch me in the mouth Megatron: Fucking finally

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Rodimus: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere and you're forced to participate in an extinction-level civil war and get chosen by extradimensional beings as a demigod and have to lead war efforts where your friends die. What if I wanted to be a duck? Nobody asked me if I wanted to be a duck. Kup: Kup: Do you want to be a duck? Rodimus, tearing up: yeah

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Starscream: I'm turning evil Megatron: How Starscream: I just am Starscream: Stay out of women's business

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Rodimus: What really ruins our character is the fact that none of us look back over our lives

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Ratchet: Did you have to stab him? Drift: You weren’t there, you didn’t hear what he said to me. Ratchet: What’d he say? Drift: “What’re you gonna do, stab me?” Ratchet: Ratchet: Fair

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Kup: Is that vodka? Blurr: Yeah Kup: Straight? Blurr: No, gay Kup: The vodka, not you

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Starscream: I’m a very bad person. I’m a very bad person. I’m a horrible person. Windblade: Starscream: Windblade: Starscream: “No you’re not, Starscream, I still love you.”

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Drift: What do you like to do? Rodimus: I dunno Rodimus: (pauses) Rodimus: Burn stuff?

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Wheeljack: I’m not going to lie, you have a lot of red flags Starscream: Like what Wheeljack: Well firstly, you’re actually insane--

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Mirage, to Noah: Bro your vibes are epic. Hold my hand.