try-set-me-on-fire - Tumblr blog

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Got tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for seven sentence Sunday. This is more sentences than that but it's what I got!

Tagging @shitouttabuck @rewritetheending @bigfootsmom @colonoscopys @chronicowboy @butchdiaz @rogerzsteven @shortsighted-owl @watchyourbuck @buckactuallys if you have anything to share!

you’ve got too much to wear on your sleeve

4136 words // rated g

“Uh, sorry.” He stares down at Eddie’s shoes. “I just think I’m- I’m kind of scared.” He eventually understood, intellectually, why Ali left him. It was a lot. She didn’t really get the scope of what she was signing up for. His leg had turned something fun and casual into something suddenly dead fucking serious. So, yeah, he understood, but he’s not sure until this moment that he really, actually understood. Tommy’s down that hall somewhere, and he got hurt at his job which is dangerous, and Buck is wondering how awful it would be to flee back through all the hallways and out of Pasadena to parts of the city he knows better, and go and find a nice safe girl with a nice safe job so his chest won’t ever feel like this. Or, only feel like this sometimes, with Eddie or Hen and Chimney and Bobby, or Maddie, people who he’s already seen bleed so he knows they can do it.

—

Tommy’s helicopter goes down. Buck fixes the station AC unit.

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several sentences Sunday

While I'm waiting for the @118bigbang summaries to drop (exciting!) have a tidbit of Eddie being sick and taken care of and making hearteyes at Buck about it 😍

You can listen to the previous tidbit here and read the whole story - my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance by fleetinghearts - here ❤️

Thank you to everyone who's tagged me over the last... week? You are seriously the best 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I'm tagging you right back (as well as a few others)❣️ @shitouttabuck 💞💞, @tizniz, @diazsdimples, @cal-daisies-and-briars

@wikiangela, @daffi-990, @bucksbignaturals, @try-set-me-on-fire

@lover-of-mine, @athenagranted, @rewritetheending, @aroeddiediaz

@acountrygirlsfun, @captain-hen, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @exhuastedpigeon

@rainbow-nerdss, @suavecitodiaz, @eddiegettingshot, @glorious-spoon

@exhuastedpigeon, @devirnis, @renecdote, @chronicowboy

@your-catfish-friend, @dangerpronebuddie, @epicbuddieficrecs,

@underwaterninja13, @hoodie-buck

and anyone else who'd like to share what they're working on ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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ok ignore how shitty this gif is i made it in two seconds but like oh my god are you guys seeing this. audibly went oh my god out loud in the theater

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ch. 18

buddie I 900 words I ao3

He’s drunk.

Not the blazing, head so spinny he could hurl if he stood straight, but in the hours after drunk that comes with a dry, heavy tongue and a slurred voice he still has some sort of control over.

Buck’s in the same boat, or—he thinks he must be, he doesn’t know, sitting criss-crossed next to him outside their hotel room door because they can’t, for the life of them, figure out how to put the key card into the door.

“Hey, Eddie,” Buck slurs, looking at him with slow, wide-lidded blinks. “Where’s—where’s Chimney?”

He draws out Chimney. Chim-ney.

Eddie shrugs. He can’t make his mouth work for the life of him. He’s pretty sure he saw Chimney two hours ago—before the music started? Or at least when he started singing Maneater with one of the Drag Queens.

Buck knocks a shoulder into his as he slips down the wall, the smell of his hair briefly sifting into his nose. He smells like gin and lemons, and a little bit of that fancy curl product he tresses up his hair with before every fancy event.

I know his hair product, he thinks loosely, tilting his head against the wall as he takes Buck’s weight. I know his hair product, and the way he does his hair before work. I know it all because he helps my son do his hair just the same way. I know it all because my son wants to be like him, so I have learned him, for my son. I know it all because I have learned him. I know it all because I have learned him, for me.

I have learned him. I have earned him.

“Does—” And Fuck, maybe he’s drunker than he thought. “Does Tommy know your curl?”

Buck hums, non-committedly. He hasn’t heard a word Eddie said. He tries again.

“Does,” he spits out. Doooesss. “Tommy.” Ttttommyyyy. “Know.” Know.

Buck lifts his head up and ends up tipping too much to the other side. Eddie grabs him by the forearm, tight. The action feels familiar in ways that Eddie, for the life of him, can't understand.

Buck blinks at him, bright blue eyes stupid dilated. “Does Tommy know what?” He whispers. He draws out his name, too. Tom-my.

Eddie looks at him and loves him.

He’s always known he loves Buck. For the first time in his life, though, he thinks—I love you. What does that make me?

Eddie opens his mouth. The back of his throat burns—maybe from all the tequila shots or the lemons hitting the rim of his teeth or the raw pad of his tongue from licking salt off of Buck’s warm palm.

Does he know what you look like covered in blood, Eddie wants to ask. Does he know what it looks like when you haven’t showered in three days because you’re so depressed you don’t know if water burns more than the sun. Does he know what it looks like when you’ve got ugly red eyes because you’re so sad you don’t even know how to hold it. Does he know what it looks like to see you shining, like a savior, in the worst of the worst, in the worst of your days. Does he know what it’s like to lose you, really lose you, and see you swallowed up by white sheets and a lightning scar across your chest. Does he know what it’s like to be loved by you. Does he know.

He thinks—I love you. What does that make me?

Eddie tries to take a breath but it feels like there’s something crawling up his throat, so he tilts his head back up against the wall and tries to take a breath.

“He’s coming to the wedding,” Buck continues, as Eddie stares at him.

Eddie nods. “Good,” he says. Good. Buck. “Tommy.” Tommy. Tommy.

He looks at Buck and thinks of the answer.

It makes him a dead man, this love. It’ll kill him probably. It has to kill him. It has to be like a disease you can’t hear or smell or breathe, and you have to be alone in the hospital with your blood running in circles beneath your skin. It has to be like a disease that kills you before you take your next breath. It’s killing him.

I love you. What does that make me?

It makes a fucking idiot, is what it makes him, because god he’s always too fucking late, running into stupid relationships after relationships after being too fucking late in the beginning of it all. He is too late. He is too late and he is in love and he is burning up right from the inside.

I love you. What does that make me?

He heaves. He can’t breathe. Buck puts his head back down on his shoulder, and all of a sudden Eddie has to learn how to breathe, or otherwise he’ll disrupt Buck’s rest. He can’t disrupt Buck’s rest.

“Buck,” he starts, opening his mouth. Buck sighs, half-heartedly, and tilts back. He looks at Eddie. Eddie opens his mouth.

“I love you,” he says. Nothing comes out. “What does that make me?”

Buck looks at him, confused. He blinks, like he's thinking it through.

“Eddie.” He draws out his name, slow. Eddie.

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if you told silly little me watching 5b that evan buckley would be openly, proudly bisexual and dating a man and that eddie diaz would be happy and they’d be hugging again and that they’d both be djing and basically in eachother’s laps drunk partying with drag queens i’d have had an absolute stroke idk what to tell you

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When Eddie sees Buck kiss Tommy after Tommy’s entrance at the wedding, I think he’ll look happy and he will smile like everyone else does, but Ryan will make sure that for a microsecond, Eddie’s face carries an expression that is indescribable and that no human face has every carried before, and in that one expression we’ll know the multitude of emotions that Eddie is feeling.

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you’ve got too much to wear on your sleeve

4136 words // rated g

“Uh, sorry.” He stares down at Eddie’s shoes. “I just think I’m- I’m kind of scared.” He eventually understood, intellectually, why Ali left him. It was a lot. She didn’t really get the scope of what she was signing up for. His leg had turned something fun and casual into something suddenly dead fucking serious. So, yeah, he understood, but he’s not sure until this moment that he really, actually understood. Tommy’s down that hall somewhere, and he got hurt at his job which is dangerous, and Buck is wondering how awful it would be to flee back through all the hallways and out of Pasadena to parts of the city he knows better, and go and find a nice safe girl with a nice safe job so his chest won’t ever feel like this. Or, only feel like this sometimes, with Eddie or Hen and Chimney and Bobby, or Maddie, people who he’s already seen bleed so he knows they can do it.

—

Tommy’s helicopter goes down. Buck fixes the station AC unit.

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What is —. What did you do to my ellipses. My poor em-dashes

Ao3 what are you doing to my formatting . What are you doing. Stop that

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Ao3 what are you doing to my formatting . What are you doing. Stop that

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Working on a fic and accidentally wrote Eddie when I meant to write Tommy, Buck possessed me for a second

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9-1-1 3.09 | 7.04

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Buck’s not really sure what to say here, so he doesn’t say anything. For a minute they stand there in total silence, the TV muted, and looking at Eddie – the defeated slump of his shoulders, the hand over his mouth, the eyes staring blankly at nothing – it’s like those modern art installations one of Buck’s exes used to take him to: Man, with broken heart.

Man, eviscerated.

Buck’s no good with people being sad around him – it always feels like his responsibility, like if they aren’t smiling it’s his fault, and this time it really is his fault, at least partially, so he offers, “You can beat me up, if it would make you feel better.”

//

[OR: Buck accidentally fucks Eddie's wife.]

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(posted w jess’ permission mwah)

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*squints suspiciously at the last paragraph I wrote* are you. coherent?

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just remembered we're gonna see buck and tommy kiss again (possibly multiple times) in one week and be "so cute" together

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#babygirl

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9-1-1 -> 2x12 ❝ chimney begins ❞