tumblingghosts

[tumblingghosts]

hide and seek with the thunderbolts is literal found family :]

Thinking about the team being forced to play hide and seek in the tower as a mandatory team building exercise, most of them say “We’re grown adults, we’re not playing hide and seek.” Until someone (John) gets called as the seeker and the rest immediately drop whatever they’re doing and run.

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oh hello new rare pair 👀👀

Thunderbolts 2 with Hemult Zemo.

He would walk John like a dog (and he wouldn't even notice since Zemo is so subtle with it) and flirt with Bucky in any given opportunity.

He would make intense with eye contact with Bucky and call him James with the softest voice. John for some reason agreed to make Zemo a cup of tea.

[tumblingghosts]

When a Character Is Grieving Someone They Never Got to Say Goodbye To

✧ They talk about the person in past tense… then correct themselves. Then stop talking entirely.

✧ They touch things that belonged to the person like they’re fragile, sacred, about to disappear.

✧ They hoard the last voicemail, last message, last anything. Play it. Don’t play it. Just knowing it exists hurts enough.

✧ They leave something untouched, an empty seat, a half-packed bag, a coffee order that isn’t theirs.

✧ They get irrationally angry when someone else seems to be “moving on.” As if forgetting is betrayal.

✧ They don’t let themselves cry all at once. It comes in pieces. Like they’re afraid too much grief will drown them.

✧ They over-apologize. For being quiet. For being distant. For not being okay.

✧ They become hyper-aware of time, dates, anniversaries, time zones, the exact moment everything ended.

✧ They get superstitious. Ritualistic. As if doing things "right" might reverse something.

✧ They smile when they talk about the person. But it’s brittle. And it never quite touches their eyes.

[tumblingghosts]

i wrote a breakup fic recently and this pretty much hits every point i was going for- sometimes the love is there, but it’s just not enough to save the relationship. what could have been done to mend things hasn’t been done- so that’s it. the road to the end has reached its limit :(

Tips on Writing Breakup Scenes

✦ People don’t always cry. shocking, I know. sometimes someone just sits there like a polite zombie, nodding and saying “okay” while their soul quietly packs a bag and moves out the back of their skull. They might want to cry, but also they might just go numb and stare at the salt shaker for ten minutes. Both are valid guys.

✦ Most breakups aren’t a single moment, they’re a slow unraveling that ends in a conversation, so even if your character feels blindsided, it should still carry that surreal “I should’ve seen this coming” haze. Because breakups rarely just drop out of the sky.

✦ The dumbest details stick, like seriously, no one remembers the whole speech, but they’ll remember the scratchy napkin, the weird buzz of a light, that their ex had mustard on their cheek and didn’t notice.

✦ You can always feel a breakup coming. no one says “we need to talk” out of nowhere, because people act different right before. overly nice. extra distant. weirdly cold or weirdly warm. characters should notice that, even if they can’t quite name what it is yet.

✦ Sometimes people still love each other. like, actually still love each other. it’s not always about the love being gone, no. It can be timing, fear, baggage, a hundred other things that get in the way. let your characters say “I love you” and still not stay. It hurts and it’s real.

✦ Closure? lol. most people don’t get it. a lot of breakups end with “wait, that’s it?” or a message that never gets sent or that one thing you almost said but didn’t. There’s rarely a satisfying ending.

✦ No one speaks in perfect sentences mid-breakup. people ramble. they say sorry three times and mean something different every time. Someone’s trying to keep it light. someone else is cracking. sentences trail off. someone forgets how to use words entirely.

✦ After it’s over, people don’t always sob into a pint of ice cream. Some people shut down, some go out and party, some clean their entire room, rewatch a comfort show, or post a spicy selfie with “new era” energy. Everyone breaks differently, so let your characters be weird about it.

✦ And if your character is the one doing the breaking up, let them feel complicated... just because they’re ending it doesn’t mean it’s easy. They might feel guilty and relieved, or they might cry after. Maybe they might mourn the version of the relationship that only existed in their head.

[tumblingghosts]

When a Character Feels Like They’re Losing Control

(Emotionally. Mentally. Internally. Completely.)

There’s a quiet kind of horror that comes with realizing you’re not okay and can’t fix it. When a character starts unraveling, it doesn’t always look like screaming or smashing things. Sometimes it’s the slow, subtle slipping of the reins...

╰ They overcompensate. Suddenly everything needs to be spotless, perfect, hyper-organized. Their planner is full, their schedule is packed, their smile is pinned on too tight. It’s not control, it’s panic dressed up in structure.

╰ They talk faster, louder or stop talking at all. They dominate conversations so they don’t have to think. Or they fall silent because words feel too risky. Either way, their voice is no longer safe territory.

╰ They get weird about small decisions. Choosing a sandwich becomes a full-body crisis. What should be easy isn’t, because nothing feels certain. It’s not about the sandwich. It’s about everything spinning too fast.

╰ They feel detached. Like they’re watching their life from a distance. They float above the room, disconnected from themselves, and laugh at things they don’t really find funny.

╰ They lash out in ways that don’t fit the moment. It’s never really about what triggered them. They explode over the dishes, or cry because someone asked if they’re okay. Their emotions are no longer matching the moment.

╰ They start avoiding mirrors. They don’t want to look at themselves, because they know. They know something’s off. They know their smile doesn’t reach their eyes. And they can’t face that truth yet.

╰ They apologize too much or not at all. They either spiral into guilt, overexplaining everything. Or they shut off and go stone-cold, too afraid that acknowledging the damage will make it real.

╰ They miss things. Conversations. Appointments. Easy tasks. Their brain is overwhelmed, trying to hold it together, and things slip through the cracks. And when they realize it, they panic more.

╰ They crave control but trust no one. They don’t delegate, don’t ask for help, because what if that help makes it worse? Trusting someone means letting go, and that’s the scariest thing of all right now.

╰ They feel like a passenger in their own life. There’s a version of them who used to be present. Who felt joy. Who wasn’t this… numb, terrified shell. And they don’t know where that person went, or how to bring them back.

[tumblingghosts]

father's day

[tumblingghosts]

"I can't take it. What chance do I have of not being an idiot and hurting people without him around to remind me who I really am?"

A lot of us remember this painful quote from "The Quaterback" episode of Glee and know it's about Puck dealing with Finn's (Cory Monteith) passing. But ever since I watched FATWS and Thunderbolts I can't help but to associate it with John and Lemar. Olivia might have been the woman he loved but the one person that was physically and emotionally with John at the darkest and most traumatic times of his life and YET could still bring out the best of him, was Lemar. He was John's soulmate. And once he died, it took John join a group of outcast that were also damaged and spat out by the world to face a goddamned apocalypse to remember who he really was.

[tumblingghosts]

Headcannon that the thunderbolts* try to teach bob new hobbies to get him out of bed rotting.

Ava teaches him card tricks and games (that she learned in the lab to keep herself entertained)

Bucky teaches him old dances he remembers from the 40’s (some partnered some just little jigs)

Alexi teaches bob how to speak Russian (slowly but surely, because alexi is not the clearest teacher)

John teaches bob about flower arrangements (using flowers from Lemars family shop)

Yelena gets bob into soccer (they break many of Valentina’s windows, they rarely score a goal)

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How many sambucky shippers also believe in the John Walker x Lemar Hoskins agenda

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Sam: Yeah, we really hate each other, but I would fuck you if you asked.

Bucky: What?

Sam: What?

Zemo, in the background, eating turkish delights: You said you would fuck him if he asked.

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no because it’s really really important to me that in a world where we’re so used to the heroes punching and shooting their way to victory, thunderbolts* went out of its way to show us that the void is still very much a part of bob, and bob is their friend, so they’re going to accept every facet of who he is and give him a soft place to land, even if that means they’ll have to be the ones to pull him back from the darkness every single time. because that’s what friends family will do for each other, no questions asked.

[tumblingghosts]

Picture this: The New Avengers Podcast.

For some sort of marketing stunt Valentina makes them do, they have to start a poscast. None of them take it seriously. All they do is bicker and have random chats. Miraculously it starts to work. They gain a following, inside jokes in the fandom, people start shipping them etc etc. They do end up having some more serious episodes where they handle heavier topics, which their fans really appreciate and resonate with, but for the most part it is just them going off about random topics and household arguments that are not relevant to the public at all.

[tumblingghosts]

Picture this: The New Avengers Podcast.

For some sort of marketing stunt Valentina makes them do, they have to start a poscast. None of them take it seriously. All they do is bicker and have random chats. Miraculously it starts to work. They gain a following, inside jokes in the fandom, people start shipping them etc etc. They do end up having some more serious episodes where they handle heavier topics, which their fans really appreciate and resonate with, but for the most part it is just them going off about random topics and household arguments that are not relevant to the public at all.

[tumblingghosts]

one thing i love about the void room sequence in thunderbolts* is how yelena, ava, bucky, alexei, and walker are all able to free themselves from their chambers because they’ve had to save themselves over and over again, and because of that experience, they’re all able to help save bob and each other from their different traumas.

yelena comforts bob the same way she wishes she had been comforted and protected as a child. ava could not save her father—but she did save alexei and yelena. walker and alexei are the ones to fight bob’s father—atoning, in a way, for their own mistakes. when yelena, who’s still struggling with her alcoholism, gets knocked out by the manifestation of bob’s addiction, bucky steps in—bucky, who knows what it’s like to wish you could numb the pain.

and in the end, when bob is fighting the void—all the thunderbolts know what it’s like to hate yourself for your past, but the fact that it’s specifically walker and bucky who hold bob’s arms back to keep him from literally beating himself up is so perfect.

they’re all uniquely equipped to help each other in different ways with different traumas, and i think that’s a really beautiful depiction of community.

[tumblingghosts]

Thunderbolts Headcanons Pt. 3

(Bad) Habits Edition

John cannot do things someone elses way. If anyone else dares to load the dishwasher 'wrong' his mood is ruined all day. It's not on purpose, but it annoyed the hell out of everyone. Bob and Ava took the approach of trying to learn John's ways. The others are trying to make him get over it, respectfully.

Alexei is a slob, leaves dishes and trash places. This really, really annoys Ava. She's so used to perfectly clean enviorments that she's become a bit of a neat freak. There was a week where she followed Alexei with a spray bottle and showered him in water if he got up without clearing his mess.

On the note of Ava, she forgets that she has to eat and/or sleep. Multiple times Bucky or Yelena has gotten up and found her working on something for Valentina. When asked 'have you eaten since we left you here' her response is usually a lot of thinking about when she had last eaten.

Bob talks to himself, like a lot. Full back and forth conversations. At first the team was concerned this was him talking to Sentry and/or the Void. After careful asking, its revealed it's just a long term effect of loneliness and mental health struggles. Used to having no one to talk to but himself. The others try and just cut into these conversations to stop him from spiralling.

Ava cleans almost obsesivlly. I like to think that SHIELD and those who kept her in containment would often tell her she can't just roam around in the Ghost suit for made up reasons, one being that she has an incredibly weak immune system. She still has this fear, so she'll get caught in a loop of cleaning things. John is surpisingly the best at stopping her, by spilling a big ass glass over the area she was cleaning and declaring it his problem.

Bucky's are less detrimental, but I imagine that anytime he hears a giant clattering noise or a scream he instantly calls our either Steve or Sam's name. The others make fun of him for this, but it doesn't stop.

Yelena talks with her mouth full, another not so serious one. In the Red Room the main time any girls could converse was during meals so ettiquite was only for show. When left alone they'd get all their words and thoughts out as fast as possible, leading to the speaking with mouths full of food. This grosses John and Ava out, but they grin and bear it.

Yelena also can't stand anyone over her shoulder. She will always move to shift the position. The others have caught on and have begun asking her to move instead of just reaching over her.

Woo these are getting long. Hope you like <3

[tumblingghosts]

#OMG TIME TRAVELLING AU #LEMAR FROM BFR HE DIED #TO POST THUNDERBOLTS #WONDERING WTF HAPPENED THAT MAD EHIS BEST FRIEND LIKE A WHOLE NEW PERSON #ONLY TO REALISE IT'S CUZ HE DIED

^ YES!!!

maybe it’s bc of bob? john opens up a bit about lemar to the thunderbolts and bob offers to try to pull up memories (like a more positive version of the shame rooms), but he ends up just yanking past lemar to the present day. lemar is super confused by what’s going on, but he’s ride-or-die with john, who’s just SO happy to see him. john probably also ends up calling olivia, bc even though their marriage fell apart, she was clearly close friend with lemar too & they need to reunite 🥺🥺

I love the idea If the new avengers met lamar, they'd be like

"Oh god, there's two of them"

Bucky just watching them and being like “shit. I forgot they shared one brain cell…..”

they would have loved Lemar 🥺 and they would have loved the John that was when Lemar was alive.

Yelena would get along AMAZINGLY with him, Bob would gain one of the biggest supporters and Ava would find herself drawn to his silly jokes and his optimism. Alexei would also love him and Bucky would call him Battleship just to fuck with him

I’m never forgiving Marvel for stealing him from us

[tumblingghosts]

OH MY GOSH?????

something something au where Ava gets caught up in some kind of blast and it messes with her phase abilities so hard she ends up thrown to a whole new place - specifically to where John got his medals and that very same day - but she's intangible and flickering and there's smoke and screams and chaos everywhere but she does what she can to help.... She doesn't realize it's John in all the smoke and grit, but during the fighting, he sees her blurred outline in her white suit and thinks she's an apparition - for a moment, he's distracted, he hesitates but it ends up saving his life as well as Lemar's.

It's not until months into their new life as the new avengers that John opens up enough to talk about that day that they release it was Ava who saved him.