#incorrect mcu quotes

[hurtspideyparker]

Steve: I like you kid, you're gonna do great things

Peter: Thanks! I wanna be just like Mr. Stark when I'm older

Steve: Oh dear god no. No. Where are this child's parents?

Peter: Uh, they're dead-

Steve: IT'S ALREADY BEGUN

[gay-dorito-dust]

You: *sees void make people into shadows* he’s hot when he’s in control.

Yelena: what the fuck is wrong with you? He’s literally going to kill us!

You: what can I say, I like the bad boys.

Yelena: yeah, but not a fucking powerful being who can morph us into shadows!

You: Bob is cute too!

Yelena: …

You: and when I mean cute I mean-

Yelena: I’m not listening *walks away*

You: *mutter* I was about to say cute in the way where I’d kiss him senseless, ruffle his hair, hold him close to my chest as I call him a good boy, but sure walk away.

[lives-in-midgard]

Bucky: Why is Y/N crying on the floor?

Yelena: She's drunk.

Bucky: And?

Yelena: She found out that you're married.

Bucky: But she is my wife.

Yelena: I know.

[loislame84]

*Kate returning home from Bishop Security after receiving a message from Yelena that she was back in town and needed to show her something*

Kate, walked in and placed a large amount of food on the counter: Yelena? I brought pizza, Chinese and burgers because I didn’t know what you’d be hungry for.

*no response*

Kate, walking further into the loft: Yelena? Are you here?

Yelena: in the spare bedroom.

*When Kate got there she saw Yelena standing outside the door looking a little nervous…*

Kate: what’s wrong? Did you kill somebody?

Yelena: no. Well probably but that’s not what this is about.

*Yelena opened the door and let Kate inside.*

Kate, controlling her eagerness: Guinea pigs?

Yelena: da, about 15 of them. Found them. Brought them here. Can we keep them?

Kate: do you know anything about guinea pigs? *Yelena shook her head no* cool me neither. *she entered the play pen* which one is mine?

Yelena, followed Kate inside: here *she handed Kate the smallest one* this is Mr. Sparkle Pants and he needs a mama.

[headcanonthings]

[autumnistic-danmei]

Bucky: I’m like an onion.

Steve: What? You have layers?

Bucky: No, I make people cry.

[lovelyinspiration1463]

Loki: I always find it amusing when people try to threaten me. Like, what are you gonna do - kill me? News flash: I've died before! It didn't stick.

[incorectquoteswlw]

Clint: Kate cut her hair

Nat: I feel like we've been through this

Clint: Pretty sure we have, how's Yelena taking it?

Nat: Not well

Nat: (reads from her phone in a monotonous voice) Kate Bishop had done the unspeakable and cut her hair. How dare she, was this a plan? A distraction? How can I focus on anything when she looks like this?

Clint: How are they both this bad at dating?

Nat: It gets better.

Nat: (reading again) I have never been so attracted to hair before, is it the hair or her? It is obviously her, what am I meant to do? Oh she sent another selfie.

Nat: (laughing) We're entering capslock now

Clint: She knows where the capslock is?

Nat: (reading) IT IS A SHOWER SELFIE. WETT HAIR? HOW AM I MEANT TO??? NATASHA HELP ME.

Clint: Kate just texted

Nat: What happened?

Clint: (reading) I think Yelena hates my hair?? She's mumbling in Russian and hasn't blinked in 3 minutes can Natasha come and help?

Nat: Oh no, she's too horny to function

Clint: Please can we go see her to bully her about it later

Nat: (standing up) what else were we gonna do?

[prkrknr]

*over text*

peter: 🖇️

harley: what

peter: that's us

peter: we are paper clips supporting each other

harley: oh okay

[definitly-not-harley-keener]

Spider-Man: (who pushed his body as far as it would go and farther for the last decade) *finally breaking down*

Spider-Man: oh now how could this happen? No one saw that coming.

[you-have-a-metal-arm]

JAMES?

pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count : 1.2k

Warnings : Just general fluff

Summary : When you call Bucky “James”—a name no one else dares to use—he reveals to a stunned Steve and Sam.

Authors Note : Hey y’all i’m back!!! Enjoy this fic 🙈

You stood quietly in the doorway, arms crossed as you watched him. His hair was damp with sweat, clinging to his temples, and his jaw was set in that stubborn way it always was when he refused to admit he was hurting. You let out a soft sigh. You hated seeing him like this—so hard on himself, so weighed down by things he didn’t deserve to carry.

He didn’t notice you at first, too lost in his own storm. But you stepped forward, not hesitating for a second.

“James.”

Your voice cut through the room like a blade, soft yet sharp enough to reach him. The sound made him freeze mid-punch, his metal fist stopping inches from the bag. His head turned slowly, his stormy blue eyes locking onto yours. And in an instant, the tension in his shoulders melted. His gaze softened in a way that made your heart ache, because you knew—you knew—no one else ever got to see him like this.

“Hey,” he murmured, his voice rough from exertion but laced with something warmer. Something vulnerable.

Steve, halfway through a set of sit-ups in the corner, dropped to the floor in disbelief. “Wait—what?”

Sam, leaning lazily against the wall with a water bottle in hand, nearly spit out his drink. “Hold the hell up,” he said, straightening. “Did she just call you James?”

Steve sat up fully now, wiping his forehead with his shirt and glaring at Bucky like he’d just witnessed a miracle. “She did. And—” his voice faltered as he pointed a finger at Bucky, “—you’re okay with it?”

Bucky glanced at Steve, then at Sam, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. But when he looked back at you, something in his expression shifted. He shrugged, completely unbothered. “Yeah. So?”

Sam’s jaw practically hit the floor. “So? You nearly ripped my arm off when I tried calling you that one time!”

Steve nodded furiously. “He’s not exaggerating. You said, and I quote, ‘Don’t ever call me that again unless you want to find out how fast I can break your jaw.’”

“Exactly!” Sam threw his hands up. “And now she just waltzes in here, says James like it’s nothing, and you’re—what? Cool with it?”

Bucky’s gaze hardened, a flicker of irritation crossing his face. “She’s not you.”

“Oh, no, we get that,” Sam said sarcastically. “But why the hell is she the exception?”

Bucky didn’t answer right away. His hand flexed at his side—flesh and metal both—but his focus stayed on you, his eyes tracing the curve of your face as if grounding himself. Finally, he said, quietly but with conviction, “Because she’s mine.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Steve and Sam exchanged a look—a mixture of shock, disbelief, and maybe even a little amusement—but neither of them dared to speak.

You, however, raised an eyebrow, lips twitching as you fought back a smile. “Yours, huh?”

Bucky’s ears turned a faint shade of pink, but he didn’t back down. His gaze was steady, unwavering. “Yeah. Mine.”

“God,” Sam muttered, dragging a hand down his face. “This is so disgustingly soft, I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Agreed,” Steve said, though there was a small, knowing smile on his face as he stood up. “You two can have your… moment. We’ll leave.”

As the door closed behind them, you turned back to Bucky, who was already watching you like you were the only thing that mattered. His expression had softened completely now, the rough edges smoothed out into something raw, something real.

“James,” you said again, stepping closer, and you saw the way his shoulders relaxed, the way his lips parted slightly like he needed to hear it just one more time.

“Yeah?” he murmured, his voice quieter now.

“You’ve been at this for hours,” you said softly, reaching up to brush a strand of damp hair away from his face. “Come take a break.”

He hesitated, his eyes scanning your face like he was searching for something. “I just… I didn’t want to bother you. I needed to work it out.”

“James,” you said, firmer this time, and his breath hitched like the sound of his name from your lips alone was enough to shake him. “You don’t have to do this alone. Not anymore.”

His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, and his hand—metal and warm and steady—reached up to wrap around yours. He held it there, against his cheek, like he was afraid you might pull away. “It’s not just the name,” he said quietly, his voice barely audible. “When you say it… it’s different. It feels… good.”

Your heart swelled, and you gave him a small, reassuring smile. “That’s because I love you, James. All of you. Even the parts you don’t think are worth loving.”

His eyes closed briefly, and when he opened them again, they were glassy, like he was fighting to keep the emotions at bay. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop it,” you said gently, stepping closer until your foreheads touched. “You deserve everything. And I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. He just held you there, close, his arms wrapping around your waist like you were the only thing anchoring him to the world. And maybe, in some ways, you were.

“Say it again,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

“James,” you murmured, brushing your nose against his. “You’re safe with me. Always.”

A soft, broken laugh escaped him, and he pulled you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “You’re all I’ve got,” he whispered, his voice muffled but full of emotion. “And you’re all I need.”

You held him there, running your fingers through his hair, and for the first time in a long time, he let himself just be. Vulnerable. Loved. Yours.

Thanks for reading 😁

[hurtspideyparker]

Peter: Mr. Stark, I built the spider-drone!

Tony: That's my boy!

Peter: *falls to the ground in exhaustion*

Tony: That's, unfortunately, also my boy

DUM-E: *Drags Peter to the couch by the collar*

Tony: Huh, so that's how I keep ending up there

[chaxan08]

Yelena: Our relationship is strictly professional.

Kate, sitting on Yelena's lap: Absolutely, only business.

[lives-in-midgard]

Bucky: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Y/N.

Sam: Not everyone likes Y/N.

Bucky: Who doesn’t?

Sam: Well...

Bucky: Names, now. Give me their names.

[romanoffshouse]

Yelena: Would you slap your best friend for a thousand bucks?

Natasha: I would slap Y/N for free.

Y/N, tearing up: I’m your best friend??

[headcanonthings]

Pietro: Ok, who's the hottest person you can think of? Bucky, crying: Your father Wanda: ...Papa Clint isn't here right now. You can be honest with us. Bucky: Your Papa is a 10 Pietro: He's a 6 at best! Bucky, pulling out a knife: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!