#incorrect mcu quotes

[fandomnerd9602]

Wanda sees Y/N playing with their kids in the backyard…

Her heart just flutters…

Natalie: higher! higher!

Y/N lifts Natalie higher in the air. The little girl giggles…

Y/N chases Billy and Tommy around, the boys scream and laugh with delight

Wanda stares at her detka with love…

Wanda: someone’s getting lucky tonight

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: Hey Tony, what are you doing for Peppers birthday?

Tony: Dinner!

Harley: where?

Tont: here

Harley: are you at least cooking it?

Tony: I quite like the tower not in flames thanks

Peter: So you did nothing?

Tony: I got her a card too. Here, look

Harley: *reading aloud* Roses are red, violets are blue

Peter: *reading aloud* whiskey costs less than dinner for two

Tony: *holding up a bottle of whiskey* I also got this

Peter: Pepper is gonna be so mad

Harley: Friday, save all recordings of Tony and Pepper interacting for the rest of the week

[mamaspidershit]

Natasha: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?

Peter: Because your toast would get soggy!

[incorrect-wandanat]

Wanda: What are your plans while we’re on vacation?

Nat: I really want to visit the leaning tower of Pizza!

Wanda: Pisa.

Nat: Yeah, like a piece of pizza.

Wanda: No, Pisa, like the place.

Nat: Oh, so like Tony’s Pizza Place?

Wanda: No! There is no pizza involved! It’s just a leaning tower.

Nat:

Nat: Yelena that little bitch—

[alexiskleio]

Pepper: i overheard our 11 y/o daughter, Morgan, record her voicemail greeting: "hi, you're reached my voicemail. when you hear the beep, hang up and send me a text"

Tony: i wonder where she got that from... *looks at his sister*

Y/n: well i'd say this generation gets it. *shrugs*

Nat, giggling: i think Morgan is becoming more like her Auntie Y/n/n.

Pepper: well... it's better than her becoming like her dad.

Tony: what?!

*the three women laugh*

Pepper, giggling: i'm kidding, honey.

Also Pepper mouthing to Y/n and Nat: i'm not...

[headcanonthings]

Wade: Please

Matt: For the last time I will not help you hide a body

[ir0npvrker]

tony: if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box

steve: that’s just a trash can

tony: and your point is

[auroraromaximoff]

Wanda: There's a word to describe our situation you know

Natasha: Starts with an L...

Y/n: Lesbians!

Yelena: *Wheeze*

Natasha: Lost, y/n, we are lost...

Yelena: Technically she wasn't wrong!

Wanda: Amongst other things, we are lost

[angelofthenight]

You: *on the phone* Wong? I need your help! I-

Wong: is the Sanctum on fire?

You: …no?

Wong: then it’s not an emergency *hangs up*

Wanda: well? what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?

You: apparently it’s not an emergency

Stephen: *being strangled by a demon* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Y/N: What’s it like being tall?

Y/N: Is it nice?

Y/N: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Bucky: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Steve: It was one time!

[trikruismybitch]

Y/n: So you find me attractive?

Natasha: Yes

Y/n: So i find you attractive, you find me attractive what are you gonna do about it.

Natasha: *smirks*

[fandomnerd9602]

She hulk x reader

Were Jennifer has a tickle fight with Y/n

Y/N continues tickling Jennifer...

Jennifer: (laughing) stop it! stop it!!

Y/N: you brought this on yourself, Walters

Y/N continues their onslaught of tickles...

Jennifer laughs and pushes Y/N sending them flying across the room.

Jennifer: baby! I'm so sorry! I guess some of my Hulk strength still comes thru.

Y/N: and now I have to punish you for that!

Y/N goes back to snuggling and tickling her...

[1luna1lovegood1]

Peter: *sneaking into his room wearing spidersuit at 5 am*

May, sitting on peter's desk: excuse me whERE WERE YOU?

Peter: I was working with Mr Stark!

Tony, turning on the light: Try again.

[mamaspidershit]

Natasha: You have to apologize to Clint!

Peter: Fine!

Peter: Unfuck you, or whatever!

[incorrect-wandanat]

Wanda: Kate showed me some stuff about social media. There’s this one called tumblr, and-

Nat: *yeets Wanda’s phone into the wall*

Wanda: That was uncalled for.

Nat: Honestly a lot of tumblr users would agree with that call.

Wanda: Fine. But can I still use the other apps? I found one where you can read books and little stories called Watt—

Nat: KATE BISHOP I AM GOING TO KILL YOU

[alexiskleio]

Drunk Y/n: what do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you?

Nat: what?

Y/n: bi-yourself. *starts to cry* that's me... i'm bi... myself.

Nat: Y/n/n... I'm your fiance...

Y/n, having only heard that Nat has a fiance: you're already getting married? *cries even more* I was planning to ask you out after this... I'm gonna die alooone.

Nat, moving to carry Y/n: okay that's enough alcohol for you. c'mon let's get you to our room.