#incorrect mcu quotes
fandomnerd9602 · 3 days
Wanda sees Y/N playing with their kids in the backyard…
Her heart just flutters…
Natalie: higher! higher!
Y/N lifts Natalie higher in the air. The little girl giggles…
Y/N chases Billy and Tommy around, the boys scream and laugh with delight
Wanda stares at her detka with love…
Wanda: someone’s getting lucky tonight
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 days
Peter: Hey Tony, what are you doing for Peppers birthday?
Tony: Dinner!
Harley: where?
Tont: here
Harley: are you at least cooking it?
Tony: I quite like the tower not in flames thanks
Peter: So you did nothing?
Tony: I got her a card too. Here, look
Harley: *reading aloud* Roses are red, violets are blue
Peter: *reading aloud* whiskey costs less than dinner for two
Tony: *holding up a bottle of whiskey* I also got this
Peter: Pepper is gonna be so mad
Harley: Friday, save all recordings of Tony and Pepper interacting for the rest of the week
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mamaspidershit · 2 days
Natasha: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?
Peter: Because your toast would get soggy!
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incorrect-wandanat · 3 days
Wanda: What are your plans while we’re on vacation?
Nat: I really want to visit the leaning tower of Pizza!
Wanda: Pisa.
Nat: Yeah, like a piece of pizza.
Wanda: No, Pisa, like the place.
Nat: Oh, so like Tony’s Pizza Place?
Wanda: No! There is no pizza involved! It’s just a leaning tower.
Nat: Yelena that little bitch—
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alexiskleio · 15 hours
Pepper: i overheard our 11 y/o daughter, Morgan, record her voicemail greeting: "hi, you're reached my voicemail. when you hear the beep, hang up and send me a text"
Tony: i wonder where she got that from... *looks at his sister*
Y/n: well i'd say this generation gets it. *shrugs*
Nat, giggling: i think Morgan is becoming more like her Auntie Y/n/n.
Pepper: well... it's better than her becoming like her dad.
Tony: what?!
*the three women laugh*
Pepper, giggling: i'm kidding, honey.
Also Pepper mouthing to Y/n and Nat: i'm not...
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headcanonthings · 2 days
Wade: Please
Matt: For the last time I will not help you hide a body
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ir0npvrker · 1 day
tony: if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box
steve: that’s just a trash can
tony: and your point is
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auroraromaximoff · 4 months
Wanda: There's a word to describe our situation you know
Natasha: Starts with an L...
Y/n: Lesbians!
Yelena: *Wheeze*
Natasha: Lost, y/n, we are lost...
Yelena: Technically she wasn't wrong!
Wanda: Amongst other things, we are lost
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angelofthenight · 11 months
You: *on the phone* Wong? I need your help! I-
Wong: is the Sanctum on fire?
You: …no?
Wong: then it’s not an emergency *hangs up*
Wanda: well? what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?
You: apparently it’s not an emergency
Stephen: *being strangled by a demon* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??
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Y/N: What’s it like being tall?
Y/N: Is it nice?
Y/N: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Bucky: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Steve: It was one time!
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trikruismybitch · 1 month
Y/n: So you find me attractive?
Natasha: Yes
Y/n: So i find you attractive, you find me attractive what are you gonna do about it.
Natasha: *smirks*
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fandomnerd9602 · 1 day
She hulk x reader
Were Jennifer has a tickle fight with Y/n
Y/N continues tickling Jennifer...
Jennifer: (laughing) stop it! stop it!!
Y/N: you brought this on yourself, Walters
Y/N continues their onslaught of tickles...
Jennifer laughs and pushes Y/N sending them flying across the room.
Jennifer: baby! I'm so sorry! I guess some of my Hulk strength still comes thru.
Y/N: and now I have to punish you for that!
Y/N goes back to snuggling and tickling her...
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
Peter: *sneaking into his room wearing spidersuit at 5 am*
May, sitting on peter's desk: excuse me whERE WERE YOU?
Peter: I was working with Mr Stark!
Tony, turning on the light: Try again.
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mamaspidershit · 1 day
Natasha: You have to apologize to Clint!
Peter: Fine!
Peter: Unfuck you, or whatever!
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incorrect-wandanat · 2 days
Wanda: Kate showed me some stuff about social media. There’s this one called tumblr, and-
Nat: *yeets Wanda’s phone into the wall*
Wanda: That was uncalled for.
Nat: Honestly a lot of tumblr users would agree with that call.
Wanda: Fine. But can I still use the other apps? I found one where you can read books and little stories called Watt—
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alexiskleio · 11 days
Drunk Y/n: what do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you?
Nat: what?
Y/n: bi-yourself. *starts to cry* that's me... i'm bi... myself.
Nat: Y/n/n... I'm your fiance...
Y/n, having only heard that Nat has a fiance: you're already getting married? *cries even more* I was planning to ask you out after this... I'm gonna die alooone.
Nat, moving to carry Y/n: okay that's enough alcohol for you. c'mon let's get you to our room.
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