Old enough to count as an adult adult, not old enough to retire. Godsdammit. Currently in d&d: Circle of Stars Druid & Hexblade.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Pingus wine… $811… do they know?
Item: Pingus Cult Wine

I swear this isn’t photoshopped
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personally I think an underutilized ship dynamic is "this is so ill-advised that we are both aware on some level that it cannot possibly end in anything but a breakup so acrimonious that we'll spend the rest of our lives hunting each other for sport, but we have decided to keep making out with each other anyway."
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reincarnation au where some people keep falling into old habits is so funny because let them kiss each other's hands or mouth. Everyone still stops talking when the king walks into the room. Some knights are very excited about color-theming with their old heralds and there are way more shades of color now so they can make their outfits more or less ugly depending on preference. Old lovers who meet after 1500 years of separation and the knight drops to his knees in the middle of home depot
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Reversed 🎁 pt.2
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"this user is proship" we're all pro ship how the hell else are we gonna get to the Northwest Passage
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who is watching jerk off instruction videos?? like are you stupid??
#There's your problem#if it's not that hard it's really difficult to jerk off#(Sorry I'll let myself out)
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vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special
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TV show people writing poker scenes putting layers of intricate symbolism and push-pull back and forth conflict and strategy between characters into every hand and combination of cards. Me watching it: whats a flush is that good.
#on that note: thank you balatro for FINALLY helping me remember poker hands#still can't memorize rules for shit =_=
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youve heard of missionary position. now get ready for MERCENARY position
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