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twistafr · 10 months ago

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Waterboy Summer

more ted x schlatt smut! but it's not long as 10k or short as 1k unlike most of my stuff lol

Rating: Mature Word Count: 4,784 Summary:

“Shush it, Ted,” He warns, a very distant one at most. There isn’t anything backed behind it as he dares to look over at him, attempting to glare and landing on an expression he doesn’t want to know anything about in case it ends up looking so terribly wanton.

“You can go shirtless, that’s not like a new thing between us, Schlatt.”

Schlatt despises the way his stomach twists into these knots of vines that trap in thousands of butterflies, shaking him up with a rock in his throat that clogs the words of reason from coming out. Because Ted is right, of course, they both have seen one another shirtless. The thing that sticks is Ted said us. Which makes Schlatt wilt with embarrassment because it feels juvenile to care about a single word so much.

or, it's hot as hell in the hotel room and Ted keeps telling Schlatt that he is his waterboy

In all honesty, the summer heat isn't that bad.

He's experienced worse, Ted has, the whole state has, really.

But it is most certainly not good. It's at the point where Schlatt sweats no matter where he stands in the hotel they booked a day ago in a state where it was supposedly more cool, one where not having an aircon was mostly alright considering it didn't seem like some heat wave was about to strike anytime soon-

Which, about that, him and Ted were wrong there. Because now they're stuck in a stuffy hotel. He knows they leave tomorrow anyways, so he won't be suffering for that long. But here he can't help but feel like each five minutes stretches into half an hour as he plops back down on the fold out bed, not having bothered to shift it back into its original couch position just yet. He has one of those useless plastic hand fans, if that's what they're called. Something similar, he bets, even if the product name should be more like shit fan that doesn't do shit.

Surely the honesty in their branding would attract an audience before parents and a bunch of other people get mad about a bad word.

Who knows, Schlatt sure doesn't.

What he does know, of course, is how absurdly hot it is in here. Unfortunately, though, there isn't even a slight hint of a breeze outside, so it's even worse out there where he can't escape direct daylight.

So he and Ted linger about in the hotel room. At least they've got water that has the decency to be a smidge bit refreshing. It only lasts so long though, as Schlatt gulps some down and feels the very faint coolness of the liquid travel down his throat before disappearing within under three seconds.

"This sucks," He complains, slamming the paper cup onto the nightstand and reaching for the remote. Ted scoffs from where he's wiping his face with his shirt, propped on the actual bed, face just as flushed as Schlatt's.

"Ya don't say, captain obvious?"

Schlatt grimaces at the response, blinking away from Ted when a flash of stomach catches Schlatt's eye. But then Ted gives up on trying to remove the sweat from his face, and his shirt is back on properly, so Schlatt can look back at him to make sure Ted sees the way he's glaring at him.

Ted just shrugs at him, glancing over at the television with a heavy sigh. "I don't think the Spanish version of any Disney movie is gonna make us feel any better, Schlatt."

Schlatt doesn't comment on that, Spanish getting drowned out in his ears like he's got cotton wads stuffed in them. He has a raging headache, and despite all of the water he's been drinking, it just doesn't seem to give him any grace.

He dips a finger to hook the collar of his sweatshirt, pulling it further from his skin and readjusting it for the millionth time. Next, he grabs a bit of the fabric and tries to fan himself, hoping that the movement will cool him off even a little bit.

Of course, it isn't much use and Ted just frowns at him.

"What might help, though, is if you weren't wearing such a thick fucking sweater, idiot," Ted says dismissively, throwing himself back onto the bed and flipping over the pillow. He presses his face against it, checking if it's been chilled, and he makes a sound of disappointment before waving Schlatt away. "I told you to change like an hour ago."

Schlatt grunts, he knows it's stupid. He doesn't take any action to change, though, and switches the channel, watching some sort of Impractical Joker's challenge play out before them.

He's not even half-watching it. He can't.

Not with the heat, it burns through to his brain and makes it all mushy so he doesn't even have the energy to really focus on the show and actually comprehend what is happening. And also maybe a little bit because of Ted.

He knows they've been travelling together just the two of them for at least three days now, but despite the whole length of it, Schlatt has yet to get used to it. The proximity, the privacy, the little bubble where just the two of them exist.

Sadly, it's really starting to make it hard to fight the attraction he's been harbouring for his dear friend Ted.

So yeah, where he could be putting attention on the show, he instead is placing it on Ted, silently observing as the man sits back up properly on the bed.

"Wish this place had a pool- shit," Schlatt curses, accidentally knocking off his useless fan down to the ground. He rubs at his forehead with his sleeve, sweaty and sad, then bends to pick it up.

"Or air conditioning," Ted supplies, adding to the lists of things they can continue to dream of. In the end, Schlatt knows they'll live, he knows they won't have to endure this same pain tomorrow when they're driving in the car, air on or windows down, chugging down all the cold drinks they want after charging into the nearest gas station.

Schlatt tries to think about it, coming to the conclusion that if he thinks of not being boiled alive enough, his body will start to disregard the heat's effects, thus making him better.

It doesn't work, though, and Schlatt groans heavily, forcing himself to get up and trudge over to the sink.

Ted picks up on the movement and sighs. "Get me some water too, then?"

"Get it yourself," Schlatt says tiredly and Ted shifts around on the bed from behind Schlatt.

"Dude, come on." Ted persists, however. "Please, Schlatt."

The crazy hot weather has left Schlatt weak and easy, so he grabs another cup. "Screw you."

"Thanks," Ted mumbles distantly and after Schlatt hands it to him, he takes a sip before frowning at the other as Schlatt settles himself next to Ted, sitting down on the bed. "Wish the water in the shower wasn't stuck warm, it'd be a nice way to cool down."

"Keep wishin', Ted."

Ted's glance slides up and down Schlatt's face smoothly, a subtle thing, expression shifting before he tilts his head away and downs the rest of the water. "You're very pink. Red even."

"Who would've thought," Schlatt comments sarcastically, elbows digging into his knees after he sets the cup down on the bed's respective nightstand. He keeps his eyes trained on the ground when he realizes yeah, actually, he's just casually here on the same bed as Ted. Which is a silly thought that comes to him, something that shouldn't mean too much, but he's Schlatt and that's Ted right next to him. So to Schlatt, it has value, it's enough for him to make sure to be composed.

"You gotta change, man," Ted says simply and Schlatt shrugs, the heat weighing down his movements as his hands slap onto his sides.

"I've got it, man ," Schlatt says, a strange attempt at dismissing the person sitting right next to him that his brain is currently situated on during this hellish temperature ring of exhaustion. Components of his serenity and connectedness get set up in a boxing match, and it seems his mind makes sure to pay attention to who loses to the heat, then strips him of proper functions. Which is maybe why he nearly zones out, parts of him turning offline.

Of course, it's Ted that makes him focus back in before he can really step out, and he snaps his head over at Ted with a hum and a raised eyebrow.

"I kinda need more water, Schlatt," He says with a shrug and Schlatt scoffs, nose scrunching before he scoots back on the bed so his feet can't touch the floor, and he ever so slightly angles his body towards Ted. Something about secret attraction and hidden admiration, all the whatnots. Still, though, he's offended despite how stupidly charming Ted looks at times.

"What? No."

"Schlatt," Ted tries and Schlatt crosses his arms with a firm shake of his head, a strong denial that makes Ted groan.

"I'm not just some water boy, yknow," Schlatt comments to which Ted simply frowns in disagreement, holding a finger pointed towards Schlatt. When he leans forward to place a hand on Schlatt's shoulder, it admittedly does make Schlatt's stomach flop one time. Overall, though, Schlatt is surely alright.

"Duh, you're my waterboy," Ted explains to ruin it all, plopping a hand on on Schlatt's thigh, leaving the little cup there.

His cheeks are already flushed from the excruciating heat, they can't possibly warm up any further. Yet Schlatt still has the capacity to at least feel like he's blushing despite the disappointment that comes from the label of 'waterboy', the ‘my’ is what actually saves it, Schlatt thinks. It's what actually has his lips parting a little like an idiot while he looks down at Ted's hand, then back at Ted in such an unsubtle manner.

He forces out a scoff-like noise. More adjacent to something more abstract, but that's alright because he pairs it with the roll of his eyes, sending the correct message across the board. Or bed. Across the bed.

But not even, not really, because Ted is sitting right next to him and when he shifts on the bed, Schlatt can feel their shoulders brush.

Schlatt is so stupid, he internally curses that to himself over and over as he quickly looks away from Ted, in need of something to distract him- just something that will pull him away from this horrible, horrible weather and even worse circumstance where his little dumb attraction is only being fed like a pig with how Ted's eyes flicker up and down Schlatt's face who catches it in the side of his view.

So he folds, daring to face Ted and wondering since when were their faces this close.

Ted's got a pink face and lips that are relaxed, unsealed, just enough for Schlatt to notice and get hung up about it.

He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know if he could say anything without the risk of his voice coming out all weathered, suffering from desire.

It’s a good thing, then, when Ted takes the lead.

“Schlatt,” He says and his voice is low, it’s whispered with firmness, a confidence in his voice that Schlatt thinks he will fail to find with any assistance from his lungs whatsoever. “Water?”

Oh, what the fuck. Schlatt’s lips pull downwards a little, a smidge bit sour, and he swallows heavily like it’ll make it easer to look away from almost everything he wants, he wants it all minus the waterboy role, of course. “Screw your damn, water, Ted. Get it yourself.”

“You’re sweating,” Ted states like a fucking idiot, making Schlatt throw his hands out dramatically.

“Uh, yeah, aren’t we both? Aren’t most people in the damn building under the same heat?”

“Okay, but you’re terrible. It’s worse,” Ted argues, tilting his head up and shifting his hand back into his own space which Schlatt silently mourns.

Because Ted carries a different type of warmth that is outside of this suffering heat, it’s much better than the current weather that makes him feel like he got stuck inside a crock pot. Ted offers something bearable, something Schlatt actually wants around him, and something he hasn’t nearly gotten enough of.

“I- all my t-shirts are dirty as hell, Ted.”

“Think that’s your fault,” Ted says, referencing the ideas of fun that Schlatt had suggested for this little travel tip of theirs, most of which consisted of being outdoor where the dirt falls into the tiniest of particles in the fabric of your shirt and leaves it dusty when Schlatt shakes it and all uncomfy to wear.

Of course he managed to make another pair of shoes, yet somehow missed the mark when it came to tops to wear that didn’t help maintain heat on the inside.

“You can go shirtless, that’s not like a new thing between us, Schlatt.”

Schlatt despises the way his stomach twists into these knots of vines that trap in thousands of butterflies, shaking him up with a rock in his throat that clogs the words of reason from coming out. Because Ted is right, of course, they both have seen one another shirtless. The thing that sticks is Ted said us . Which makes Schlatt wilt with embarrassment because it feels juvenile to care about a single word so much.

Ted has said that before. He thinks. Schlatt’s pretty dang sure. And he’s pretty sure almost every time it has the same end result where Schlatt is biting his cheek and mentally clutching his chest where his heart is, blinking over at Ted like a lovesick character portrayed in a cartoon.

“I-”

But Ted’s already cutting him off, shifting towards him, couple of fingers casually slipping from his thigh like it was an accident. Who knows, Schlatt doesn’t read into it, he leans into it.

“As my waterboy, I need you to not be dying from the heat so you can bring my refreshments.”

“But I’m not your waterboy,” Schlatt defends, voice pinching somewhere in the plea of denial because of the ridiculous possession that comes with all of the bullshit they’re talking about right now. He promises he’s actually not a waterboy for anyone. He just happens to be there when Ted wants a drink, and well, maybe he doesn’t always say no.

“If I was, I’d think I’d deserve a little please and thank you here and there, Ted,” Schlatt concludes, scrunching his nose with this snort sound that clings at the back of his throat, cut off because Ted’s hand is close, his eyes are attentive, and dangit Ted’s lips are so obnoxiously distracting.

So much so Schlatt’s view is just a little obscured, something like tunnel vision and whatnot, that his brain lags when it tries to take in other information about his surroundings and actually process it.

Naturally, that’s when Ted does something unexpected, sending Schlatt’s heart to thump all the way to the roof of his mouth, making him gasp a little as one of Ted’s hands pinches the fabric of Schlatt’s sweater, material never lifting to reveal skin, but it’s departed from where it kept his skin boiling a little bit more.

“Please?” Ted asks, because of course now he can find his manners.Schlatt is fumbling for a coherent thought as Ted looks at him. Meanwhile, inside the mind, everything is being flipped upside down as Schlatt almost swallows, a ridiculously childish feeling of being flustered approaching him within a flash.

“ Ted ,” He warns, an empty threat with no meaning, no target or aim, and nothing to land on. But it’s breathless and it’s been said, so he tries to fix up his voice, get something more steady and stern in there, and it comes just as he is, all thrown off guard because oh fuck- . “You- okay , so you just wanna see me shirtless, that’s-”

Ted blinks at him, patient yet clearly eager enough for it, and there’s a loud thump that rings about in Schlatt’s skull, echoing loudly with waves that carry some good heat, frying his brain even further than the hotel room temperature has, and his fingertips feel fuzzy and insistent, ready to just move or do anything really, Schlatt biting his cheeks with a heavy breath before-

Well before he nods yes.

“Thanks,” Ted adds for good measure and Schlatt wants to be annoyed about it, for sure, but can’t when his top is starting to be discarded now.

There is a faint feeling of relief when the fabric is lifted up and away from his body, the air- however warm it is currently, still carries less heat than what was trapped between him and his clothes, so it’s at least nice enough.

What really sells it is when Ted’s knuckles graze across Schlatt’s ribcage, skin to skin contact that makes him buzz.

He takes in a deep breath, not even bothering at the moment to take in the full scale of what exactly has just happened- what’s happening as Ted moves towards him, another hand reaching for him, one he eyes and just wants already on him.

Instead he focuses in on the now, deciding whatever happens, he rolls with it. He watches the hold Ted has on the fabric of his shirt, firm however loose, delicate almost. And he imagines that hold maybe on his wrist, on his hip, all with added pressure.

The second hand Ted’s got, however, doesn’t find Schlatt’s body, it only assist to take his sweater off and he catches Ted’s eyes with his own before it’s lifted up over his head, his arms dropping back down carelessly because Ted’s face is intoxicatingly close.

“This-” Schlatt gestures between them, it doesn’t matter if Ted actually sees it or not. “Is new.”

Ted pauses, admitting to it but only with a small shrug, a smile pulling at his lips. “A bit,” He says. “It’s good to try new things once in a while, though.” He offers and Schlatt wants to cringe at it and make fun of him. But Ted’s got a look in eyes full of something Schlatt absolutely needs to get, so instead he lets Ted press into his space and finally place a hand flat across his stomach.

Ted does this with a lazy descent towards the span of Schlatt’s throat, rounding it to breathe out underneath his ear, words on the tip of his tongue, yet ultimately he swallows them, choosing to press an open mouth kiss there instead.

And okay, this is really what they’re doing. Desire stirs in Schlatt’s chest, little done just watching Ted and a little more wanting to actually be active here. So Schlatt tugs at Ted’s shoulders, urging him closer, all before letting his hands slide down Ted’s clothed back.

There’s an obnoxious taste of something so incredibly intimate, which Schlatt has known has been there the whole time, on the back burner. Beforehand, he thought he may be the only one keeping it alive, all lit with the stupid amount of yearning he holds for Ted. Turns out being stuck in this stuffy, crappy, and hot room in some just below decent hotel will bring out Ted’s burning candle too.

Here, Ted pushes Schlatt into the corner of the bed, where Schlatt can crane his neck and look into the space between the mattress and the wall, no headboard to bump his head against as he scoots himself up. They might make a bit of a mess of the cover of the bed, Schlatt bending his legs, allowing space in between them for Ted to reside but only after Schlatt manages to slip him out of his own shirt.

There’s a window right above the bed, stretching across its length, and Schlatt forgets to have the thought to perhaps close it all the way, and maybe it’s partially due to the way the light spills in from the minimal opening, curtains not fully drawn, and flaking across Ted’s hair, dipping down his jawline, and gliding across the curves of his body.

Schlatt takes as much of it in, saving it for the brain and all- as possible before Ted’s grabbing his thighs, moving Schlatt a bit more towards him with the way he hikes them up, like he needs them to barricade, and watches Schlatt’s big basketball shorts ride back some, revealing lots more bare skin.

Schlatt sorta huffs out an amused laugh at the look on Ted’s face, who is raking his eyes all over his body, observing a mountain of gold he’s trying to figure out how to spend.

“You don’t have any idea what you’re doing,” Schlatt says, to be honest he doesn’t either, but he really likes it. The flush of Ted’s face hints to Schlatt he does too, as well as the way Ted flashes him a smile, a breathy laugh, then trails his hand down.

“Do now,” He hums instead, attempting to test Schlatt’s patience with the way he hoveres his fingers around the band of his stupid shorts. Schlatt hooks his legs round Ted’s neck, ankles clipped, as Ted’s other hand presses down on his thigh, desperate to grab, covering the Nike logo and pulling his shorts down.

Schlatt mentally holds his breath, outwards he lets out a sigh because Ted is easing him back into the bed, melting into it due to the temperature, but it’s refreshingly new to watch Ted undress him. So he stays afloat and doesn’t drown in heat, stripped of clothing and blinking with blush and a pounding heart as Ted takes his cock in his hand.

He sucks in sharply, preparing himself for the feeling, and his lashes flutter, all like a dumb love bird when he looks up to meet Ted’s gaze, the eye contact pulling a very strong string somewhere deep in his chest, one that strums whenever he swoons after Ted like a schoolgirl or something.

But Ted’s eyes carry something of the same, so very, very familiar. Like a mirror, and he bends Schlatt a little more, moving forward himself just to land a kiss on the span of his stomach, muscles nearly twitching underneath the soft, dashing sensation of his lips against his bare skin, all just as he runs his thumb along Schlatt’s length, a slow but intentional movement, starting to actually jerk him off.

It’s dirty and stupid hot in here, yet the amount of exceeding sensual and virtually heartfelt emotions is starting to reach staggering levels, because Ted is touching him with purpose and looking at him like he’s all he’s ever really wanted.

Schlatt’s brain is fried, of course, but there’s functioning parts that try to tell him this is a friends with benefits type of hook up, this one time thing they may never mention again. Even with the way Ted moves his wrist, fingers wrapped around Schlatt’s dick, making a weighted moan slip past his lips finally, Ted’s mouth travelling a little up and up, till Schlatt feels even more warmth concentrate around his chest. Then Ted’s got his lips puckered right below where Schlatt’s right nipple is, on Ted’s left. He startles just a tiny bit before he’s sent into a full moment of surprise when tongue slides up his skin, burning like a branding iron.

And yeah, Schlatt arches his back towards it, not even thinking to do so but it happens anywhere because the crumbling parts of him are eager and needy to indulge in this nonsense, letting out a choked sound with Ted’s mouth on him, and Ted’s hands around him, Ted’s eyes on him, Ted’s thumb pressing down to smother pre and really make Schlatt’s world tilt on its side.

“ Ted ,” He warns, not a bit of conviction in his voice, it’s too weathered and gone, gone, and absolutely entranced. He doesn’t know what he’s even warning Ted of. That he’s too good? That he needs this to last forever so he better not end it so quickly?

Schlatt has no idea, but he sends a short glare over at Ted for a split second, looking down at the mess of hair, glasses peeking out underneath as Ted looks up at him, curious on what the call of his name was for and really, Schlatt supposes there is no reason.

So he just rocks his hips into Ted’s hand, clenching his hands, mind scrambling to find anything else to say. His brain supplies with pretty much nothing but the obvious, too preoccupied with the various input and output of feeling. “We’re in a shitty hotel room right now, yknow?”

Ted’s shoulders slack a little, but he doesn’t falter with his hands, making Schlatt look away for a moment, lips parting as he waits for Ted’s response.

“That a major issue, Schlatt?” He asks, a little genuine but he’s still trying to tease. Schlatt sets out to find an answer, tongue pressed to his cheek and face turned to the side before all thoughts sorta die down for at least a prolonged moment due to how Ted’s hand strokes him each time with dedication, focused on bringing him to the edge, Ted mouthing at his skin, breath fanning across before Schlatt grows even more familiar with the texture of tongue.

“I-” He clears his throat, voice lost a little and he tries to focus real hard. “Maybe,” He croaks out instead, deciding that’s all the effort he’s gotta put in for it to count for something, and lets Ted do the rest of the thinking, listening to the other man hum for a moment in thought.

“Next time we’ll be more luxurious, then,” Ted says, almost casually, but Schlatt can sense the pinch of nervousness in it, because he’s proposing something a bit big here, something that hangs above Schlatt's head too. So of course he can recognize it in Ted, a little bit curious about if this will ever happen again.

Ted’s asking for it, Schlatt really wants it, and there’s a small urgency in Ted’s words that shows he has some hesitations about asking because he may not fully know whether Schlatt is up for it at all.

Obviously, he very much is, nodding his head a couple of times and hitching down, trying to essentially rut into the other man’s hands.

“Yeah,” He breathes out, just for a verbalized agreement, if Ted couldn’t already pick that up, and he squeezes his legs around Ted. “Come on, Ted.”

It’s not begging, exactly, Schlatt would like to argue it’s not close. Even if his voice wavers, desperation peeking out through the cracks and relying on Ted to find it in himself to give Schlatt what he wants.

And with how quickly Ted gives it to him, picking up the pace, hand on his dick with a mission, even- Schlatt stumbles down a steep hill to the finish line, hands fisted into the sheets when he comes with a ever so slightly strangled groan, never expecting it to happen that fast and worn down from the weather and lack of air conditioning.

He spills, all over Ted’s hand in fact, and doesn’t have the brain capacity to feel embarrassed about any bit of it when he’s gasping, fingertips still drifting across his dick, knuckles bent around his shape, carrying him through it to the point where it stings a little here and there, perhaps too much, and he winces, past the fill point, and drops back onto the bed.

“There,” Ted says, and he sounds so terribly satisfied, like the guy is proud, even, and Schlatt has energy left to roll his eyes at him even though his heartbeat thumps loud in his ear, rapid and hyped before it can even start to slow down. Ted is pulling his hands back, even his face, lips red and Schlatt’s legs dropping back on the bed.

“I think I’ve been waiting for that for some time.” Schlatt confesses, for no reason except maybe the color in Ted’s eyes and the pull behind them that carries Schlatt towards Ted like a cartoon character floating towards a delicious pie, tempted beyond anything else and more than alright with it.

“I’ve been hoping for it.” Ted shoots back easily, earnest, and sure, a little endearing. It shoves Shlatt’s heart up into his throat, a sore lump that leaves him speechless and stuck for a moment, eyeing the other carefully with a silent invitation.

In all honesty, they needs to clean themselves up and think about what just happened, and talk about it, but instead Schlatt’s welcoming a kiss as Ted crowds him, hovering on top of him, chest pressing down to Schlatt’s lower stomach, and eyes falling shut when lips press against one another.

Apparently, everything has lesser importance than making out with Ted and tracing fingers down the dip of his back. Of course, nothing is as crucially needed than the feeling of another body against Schlatt’s own, losing his breath and failing to decipher where they’re separate, all connected anyways in a blur of simmering emotions they’ll address sometime after, not too long from now.

Once number one priority eventually passes.

#schlatt x ted #ted x schlatt #ted nivision smut #schlatt smut #mlm smut #fanfic #smut fic #ted nivison #schlatt #smut

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twistafr · 10 months ago

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well this looks like fun, you can also ask from the first part if you'd like! :D

✸ FIC ASK GAME ✸

part 1 here

↻ FLIP FLOP: send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!

✰ NEW SHAPES: send me a fic and I’ll give you an alternate direction the fic could have gone!

☹ EVIL TWIN: send me a fic or scene and I’ll give you the unhappy ending version of it!

⇆ SLIDING DOORS: pick a character from one fic to drop into another!

✄ DVD BONUS: pick a fic and I’ll describe or write a deleted scene!

♬ THEME SONG: pick a fic and I’ll share a song that reminds me of it (and why!)

✑ PROCESSING: pick a fic and I’ll tell you what it was like to write it!

♡ SMALL THINGS: pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite minor detail from it!

∆ DO OVER: pick a fic and I’ll tell you if there’s anything I’d change or do differently if I wrote it today!

☉ SHARK TANK: make a case for why I should write a character, pairing, or trope that I haven’t yet!

☒ AMNESTY: send me a number, and I’ll count down in my asks and answer whatever’s there!

#fic ask game #ask game #thought this would be funny #schlatt x ted #ted x schlatt

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twistafr · 1 year ago

Note

about that fake dating au- IM HAVING FUN WRITING IT LETS GO

lil sneak peek: Now his mom is tilting her head, confused, before it comes to her and she picks up exactly what Ted is putting down despite the fact that it's not real, it's all a lie, and he's a liar and his mom is buying it as she curiously looks at him.

"Ted."

He blinks, waiting, and she squints.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" She asks and truthfully, no, but because Ted is terrible-

"Uhh, yeah?"

(his ass does NOT have a boyfriend- yet!)

hopefully when it's done yall like it LOL :DDD

Hi there! I'm just getting into tedschlatt and absolutely feeling blessed with your fics!!!

May I throw you some of my favourite tropes? I hope you feel inspired!

Fake/pretend relationship or the opposite where everybody assumes they're already dating

Have a great day!!!

First off thank you so much! And for the trope, I will definitely start planning something out over the weekend, it sounds like something I could really work with :D i've already got an idea on how to do it 👌

#ted x schlatt #schlatt x ted #fanfic #ted nivison #schlatt #fake dating

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twistafr · 1 year ago

Note

Hi there! I'm just getting into tedschlatt and absolutely feeling blessed with your fics!!!

May I throw you some of my favourite tropes? I hope you feel inspired!

Fake/pretend relationship or the opposite where everybody assumes they're already dating

Have a great day!!!

#fanfic #ted x schlatt #schlatt x ted #ted nivison #schlatt

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twistafr · 1 year ago

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Damn, also forgot a question.

HERE IS THE SERIES LINK FOR ANY CURIOUS PEOPLE:

#ted x schlatt #schlatt x ted #smut #cameracapturedseries #smut fic #mlm smut #schlatt #ted nivison #schlatt smut #ted nivision smut #fanfic

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twistafr · 1 year ago

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New fics?

For the handful of people who follow me, I hope you see this lol (or well, anyone who likes to read Ted/Schlatt fanfiction)

if you have any fic ideas, HAND EM OVER (pls and thank you, hand me them)

Currently in a drought of creativity, being an actual contributing person of society takes up a lot, LOL. But toss out some ideas, suggestions, prompts, whatever you wanna see me write! And I'll take a look 👀 even if it's just saying 'more like this one fic' :D

#schlatt x ted #ted x schlatt #smut fic #fanfic #ted nivision smut #schlatt smut #schlatt #ted nivison #smut #mlm smut

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twistafr · 1 year ago

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Screwed The Brew

another tedxschlatt smut fic, this time it involves sex pollen

Rating: Excplicit Word Count: 10,464 Summary:

Schlatt groans, hanging his head low to hide the way he rolls his eyes with frustration. His patience is thin, after all, and he can feel himself becoming more and more embarrassingly needy by the second. And it's all because of some stupid accident, Ted says. "Fuck," Schlatt whispers.

"I, mean," Ted starts, shuffling around to retrieve something from his pockets, pulling out a small envelope about the length of a finger and a width of half of his palm as he holds it out, ashamed. "Okay. Okay," He steadies himself, gathering composure and tossing the envelope to Schlatt. "This is my fault."

Schlatt blinks, curious, and can momentarily ignore the aching hunger creeping up on him and he opens it, watching as two small and pink teardrop shaped seeds fall into his palm. "What the hell are these?"

Schlatt hovers around the brewing stand set up in the corner of his kitchen, watching the potion he's whipping up with interest. He examines it for a moment, the vibrant color of it, a flurry of pomegranate shades with a deep and rich swirl of red in between that isn't exactly mixing in with the rest of the substances, much like oil to water.

This specific potion is meant to energize his body for a while, give him stamina and such, and also squash out hydration. It's a perfect way to enhance his performance.

He's been looking at some recipes and trying to personalize them just a little bit more, like the bit of clementine juice he squeezed in to help with immune systems and such. There is, of course, mainly ingredients that hold magical elements. The usual tear of ghoul and eye of those really rare glowing frogs, the ones that shine a hazy blue at night, making them easy to see. Which is great for Schlatt- and also great for predators. It seems kinda like a reverse natural selection, as still they have yet to stop dragging attention to themselves as hungry birds, snakes, and other creatures in the area gather around.

It seems gross to have a bunch of stuff in the potions he makes, so of course Schlatt adds some real everyday flavors to make it feel a bit more natural when he drinks them.

He's even made some for his buddy Ted who is still standing behind Schlatt, five feet away, and blinking at him with an expression Schlatt can't quite place.

"Looks ready, don't ya think?" Schlatt asks, turning from the potion to Ted who purses his lip as he thinks. He steps back with a shrug and has to duck from the cat that swoops from the rafters. Lot's of Schlatt's house is left exposed, and the kitchen ceiling is full of storage spaces and wooden planks that his cat loves to explore. The feline's made it his territory, as one time Schlatt was simply trying to retrieve some cinnamon and the cat pawed at him aggressively. Of course until he realized Schlatt would be out of his fur within a few seconds, only then was Schlatt able to grab what he needed. Right now, the cat's just toying with Ted, swatting his hair with a paw and backing up to cover with an almost teasing meow.

Schlatt laughs with amusement as Ted moves to fix up his hair. "He's playin with ya, you know?"

Ted glances at him for a few seconds, then sighs as he crosses his arms. "I know, Schlatt. Now what are we planning for dinner?"

Schlatt hums, not actually even thinking about it as he twists his body back around, watching as the potion pulses with a faint yellow all around the edges. He squints, it's probably that golden lemon he put in it. He faintly thinks about deigning Ted an answer as he gazes over the potion, distracted in his words. "Uh, dunno, just go through the cabinets and whatnot. But hey, this potion is a new one. You should try it with me."

Ted shuffles over to the farthest counter and quickly shakes his head, as if he must put some space between him and the concoction Schlatt's just brewed up. "Pft, sure, man. I'll try your strange magical liquid-but I won't. Man, it's all yours."

"Rude." Schlatt notes, but can't get another word out before Ted chimes back in, holding a hand up hesitantly.

"But, yknow, don't take that as a command to just chug it down, now." Ted tilts his head, lips stretching into an uncomfy smile like he's trying to make a joke but can't find any humor himself. It makes Schlatt move to fully face him, raising an eyebrow in growing confusion. There seems to be something he's missing here. It's just his luck Ted likes to be a cryptic son of a gun and only tell the whole truth once it's too late. "We should really eat first, don't ya think?"

Schlatt squints at Ted, trying to read his face but he fails as the man looks away too quickly.

"What is it?" He asks, hoping he can get a more straightforward answer some time soon. Now is not soon, sadly, as Ted waves his hand.

"Nothin, Schlatt. Nothin." He lies, Schlatt knows he's lying. So he glares as Ted swings open a cupboard and groans when he pulls out a glass jar of cherry reserves, setting it down on the counter below and making another noise when he pulls out a pouch of tree nuts.

"Do you have anything to make an actual meal with, man?" He complains and Schlatt rolls his eyes at the dramatically grossed-out face Ted makes at the container of honey and jasmine tea bags.

"Those were a gift," Schlatt says with a scowl, pointing at the jar he holds them in. "A gift from an elderly lady who- and this is true- was very pleased to have somebody living nearby. She loves me."

Ted snorts. "Yeah, yeah, and I bet you love her. You weirdo."

She is a nice lady, but dear heavens no. Schlatt makes a yakking noise, hanging his head for the act. "Puh, no, you freak. You wish."

"Schlatt." Ted makes a face and Schlatt just points at him.

"You wish I loved some old lady so you could make fun of me," Schlatt says confidently before whipping around, back faced to Ted. He plants a hand on his knee as he bends, holding the other out to the glass potion bottle as he taps it. "Now you can go to the stupid market and get some food while I test this baby out. Or you can stop complaining and wait for me to hand ya some food."

Ted's movement pauses behind Schlatt and he looks over his shoulder to see Ted abruptly divert his gaze, busying himself by placing all the jars and such he got out back into their respective spots in the kitchen.

He slams a hand down on the counter before quickly lifting it back up and shoving it into his pocket, pulling out some money. "Right, then, you ass, I'll go buy some food for us."

Schlatt huffs, sending him a look of disapproval and a childish stuck out tongue. He doesn't watch Ted return the immature move, but instead shifts his fingers to twist the potion loose from the stand. Ted pats down his pants, coming to a slow stop as he clears his throat.

"Just- uh, don't try the potion without me."

"Thought you didn't want nothin' to do with it." Schlatt shoots a glance at him, raising an eyebrow in suspicion, lips tugged into a slight frown. Ted of course, doesn't give a damn when it comes to making actual sense, so he just nods.

"Sure," He says, nonsensical, then waves. "I'll be back- wait for me."

Schlatt can't even respond before Ted is leaving the kitchen, crossing through the archway and out the living room, sneaking a hand into the dining room where an empty bag rests on the table. He grabs it then heads to the front door, which he slams behind, shouting out a careless sorry and carrying on his way.

Schlatt huffs, a little annoyed, and eyes his cat. "That guy sucks."

The cat meows back but not in agreement, so Schlatt dismisses him.

"Oh, you just like that he gives you way too many treats," Schlatt defends, watching the cat jump down to the tiled floor of the kitchen and stretch. "He's the reason you can't fit into your favorite hiding spot anymore, hope you know."

The cat doesn't particularly care of course, so Schlatt doesn't bother wasting anymore time now that Ted's gone and no longer able to waste his time.

He takes the potion from the stand, observing it before running his finger along the rim of the bottle. Its scent drifts up and he picks up some familiar aspects he remembered using to curate the whole thing. He swishes it a little, watching the pink pomegranate shades fuzz together. Strangely enough, white particles start forming, glowing and entracing, Schlatt doesn't exactly know which combined ingredients caused it, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't look both appetizing and remarkable.

He thinks he really is mastering the craft of potion brewing, this might become the most effective one yet, as its physical appearance is enchanting to an all new level. He can't wait for the performance boost it'll be sure to grant him.

He lifts it to his lips, watching the liquid rush down the bottle. It tastes like a delicious assortment of citrus fruits and a little bit of cocoa in the after taste that is joined by a more earthy flavor, making him furrow his brows at the new recipe he's trying.

Overall, it's a pleasurable way to gain an extra periodic boost to perform whatever tasks he needs handled.

He takes a swig of it before fetching a cork lid and shelving it with his collection of other potions. Healing potions, good luck ones, all the jazz.

Schlatt is walking out of the kitchen when he has to pause. He can feel a sudden warmth belonging to the potion as it settles in his stomach. He reaches for the bookshelf, hanging his head and trying to compensate for the surprise sensation, steadying himself.

"Weird," He comments. Then Schlatt moves on.

He wants to test out it's supposed effects, moving to an open space in his living room between the bookshelf and the couch, feet against the rug he recently bought. It's strange, though, how he can start to feel the imperfections and ridges within the fabric, like his awareness has been dialed up a smidge. It makes it a little odd as he attempts to test out his stamina, doing various exercises and then sitting down. He smiles when he realizes he isn't as worn out as he would be.

So he sinks back into the furniture of the couch, proud of his work. He blinks, looking out the window to his right, eyes latching onto a branch getting gently rattled by the wind. He watches the movement, distracted, and only snaps out of it when a sudden wetness hits the top of his hand. He snaps his head down and pauses, confused when he realizes it's a drop of water.

Or, well, sweat, he thinks, feeling a wave of heat wash over him quicker than he can react. He's actually very hot, he notices. His shirt sticks to him, incredibly uncomfortable as he reaches for the collar with his fingers and when they graze over skin he frowns at out excessively warm his skin is.

The hell is this?

The back of is neck is covered in sweat when he smooths his hand across it, instantly pulling his hand back and blowing out air to try and cool himself off. Schlatt's forehead is beaded with sweat, and when he goes to stand up for some water, his vision goes hazy and he slouches back into the couch, legs getting overtaken by a faint and foreign feeling.

Schlatt, confused, lifts his arm up, finding the action a little slowed down. Which is ridiculous, because the potion is supposed to enhance performance. Obviously. He squeezes his eyes shut as another wave of heat is dumped all over him, and this time it stays, looming, the intensity never dying out. The tips of his fingers buzz, a weird sensation that he tries to ignore as he pushes off the couch, wanting to stand up.

But his legs move as if he's stuck in a thick sludge, slow and inefficient. They're wobbly under his weight and he groans with frustration when he is forced to give up and sit back down. The sudden drop sticks a rock in his stomach, heavy and obnoxious. But of course, Schlatt has no idea what is going on, so he is thrown off guard when his stomach tightens into knots, exploding with a burning sensation, and he rolls into himself with a hiss of discomfort.

The temperature of his body is very concerning, he knows, but he can't seem to shake any heat off, like he's trapped in a furnace with no way out, flames pressing onto each side of him. His stomach, all tangled with a messy feeling he can't quite place, unravels itself and seemingly spreads to his whole body, making him sag against the couch with panic.

"What the fuck-"

He needs help, clearly, and he thinks about Ted, how far he possibly is, when will he be here. He invisions Ted walking through the door- his stomach stings suddenly, face flushed as he puffs out air, his insides overheating.

Thinking about Ted might have been a bad thing to do, he comes to realize, as everything increases and he picks up an ache in his chest. When he pays attention to it, he hurts, only noticing where when he glances down, going still at the sight of his erection.

"Shit," He mutters, then shuts his eyes tightly when his dick practically pusles, and he can feel along with it a deep yearning that stems from his chest. He needs. He has no idea what but he just knows he does.

It seems that now that he's acknowledged his dick, it demands more of Schlatt's mind to divert it's focus, as it essentially thrums, begging for any sort of contact.

He huffs out air, attempting a laugh while all to breathless for it to actually sound like one. "There's no way," He gasps, shook by the way his voice sounds, all weathered, raspy, and wanton.

There's no way this is the potion he made. One that... A potion that has him painfully fucking hard.

But he's popped a boner by doing absolutely nothing and his head is starting be swarmed with thoughts of a very obvious, very clear, very definite solution most men conclude to when they find themselves with a hard on.

He wants to deny all of it, wants to fight against whatever stupid shit this potion is doing to him. But it gets difficult, it gets gradually more hazy in his mind, ideas and thoughts blurring from tens to no more than three, all of it mixing in his head lazily.

Schlatt asks himself to name three vegetables and fucking fails, only managing to whisper an airy 'pepper'.

He probably would look insane if somebody was here right now.

But he doesn't care, can't care when he the thought of Ted resurfaces and his resolve snaps, hand rushing down to fumble with his pants, coordination slipping away each passing second. Ted's lips flash in his mind, Schlatt's jaw loosens, mouth parted slightly as he rests back into the cushions, messing up his hair. He can't tell whether his hand or his pelvis burns the other more. Ted's own fingers pop up, mind slowly absorbing the thought, drinking it in as his fingers drift, past the pubic hair until-

"Oh my...." Schlatt doesn't finish the sentence, breaking off with a weak moan. His palm grazes against the side of his cock, lighting any and all nerves on fire, sensors going haywire, mind crumbling under pleasure. He's hooked.

He moves to discard his pants, shoving them down sloppily, hands trembling and mind easing into mush, making him clumsy as his hand slips. He decides letting the clothes pile up around mid-thigh is plenty of enough room, biting his lip hard at when the cool air hits his dick, bare and baffling, Schlatt still hasn't come to terms with what exactly is happening, but he's accepted it enough to give in and wrap a hand around his cock. His head falls back, he glances up at the ceiling and tries to keep quiet, finding the desperation that seeps into his tone a little embarrassing.

But, of course, he is desperate and when he begins to flick his wrist and start with his ministrations, he can't stop a needy whine from slipping out of his mouth, lips curving around the sounds of a man full of promiscuous desires, silently begging for them to be fulfilled.

Schlatt is losing himself little by little, stroking himself and letting moans tumble from him so openly. He knows it's shameful, knows it's absurd more than anything. All this, from a potion. He messed up. He royally fucked himself over and now he's dealing with it. He runs his own thumb over his tip, noticing the concerning amount of pre everywhere. This is not normal, he's reminded for a brief second, then forgoes all of his worries when he does it again, shooting a spike of satisfaction straight up his spine.

"Fuck," He chokes, panting as he ruts up into his hand, not bothering to control his movements as he acts on this crazed instinct, bucking up and tightening his grip ever so slightly. Every bit of warmth swallows him, head fuzzy as he carries on, eyes fluttering shut as a drop of sweat reaches his chin. His throat bobs, body swole with too much, every bit acutely aware of every bit of him that is touching anything else. It makes the touch of his own fingers tracing along a vein even more intense, even more consuming, and he moans loudly, composure tossed aside completely, not a sliver of concern about what would happen if somebody else caught him like this.

Except- he thinks about it as much as his starving self can manage, and blushes when he finds himself picturing Ted hovering over him, suffocating and all over. He imagines his own hand is Ted's and lifts his hips, rocking them forward into his hand with a groan. "Ted," He breathes out, flustering himself at the name, still managing to be bashful about thinking of his best friend in such a intemperate manner, brought upon his focus in a lascivious light.

But Schlatt can't help it, doesn't even think about stopping. He wants it too much, it's all too much. But somehow not enough as he can't get exactly what he needs, still overflowing with an ache he can't place yet, pressing the pad of his thumb to the head, scandalized by how much he's leaking already. He forces his eyes shut and gasps at the overwhelming pleasure.

"Shit," He whispers, and thinks about how Ted's fingers are just a little longer than his, how they'd wrap around him, and he moans, desperation clasping onto every inch of his body he has to offer. "Shi- Ted, Ted."

"Schlatt?"

For the first time since the potion kicked in, Schlatt feels a distant sense of coldness as a chill runs through him, and it nearly gives him a momentary feeling of relief. But when he opens his eyes he sees Ted and goes even more red, all the heat coming back as he stills, any potential vowel dying on his tongue and stringing into an awkwardness that emits from the back of his throat. He's been caught, there's absolutely no way to explain it some other way than what this is.

Ted's standing there, completely dumbstruck, a bag full of food in one hand, right in the doorway.

"Ted?" Schlatt manages, voice scratchy around the edges, inflection full of humiliation as he drags a hand up and waves at the door. "God, Ted, close the damn door!"

"You're-" Ted strangles his own sentence, not succeeding to complete anything comprehensible, his face growing flush with a dust of pink. "I- Schlatt-"

"The door!"

Ted kicks the door shut with the back of his foot, dropping the bag and looking away from the sight that Schlatt surely is. "What the fuck are you doing, man?"

Schlatt feels arousal rise up and he grimaces when his fingers twitch, wanting to return to their original position before Ted interrupted. But he's here and hell, he's cussing at Schlatt which should not be tempting if Schlatt was a sane person. But clearly he isn't and he covers his mouth when his throat flexes with a whine, and he shakes his head.

"Nothing," He stammers out, a total lie. He hates how much he likes how exposed he is, legs partially opened, dick still incredibly hard it hurts, and it's all on display yet Ted isn't looking this way. It makes that restless and horny part of him to beg that Ted would.

But Ted's brows are furrowed as he stares intently at the ground to his left, away from Schlatt, mouth dragged into a stern frown.

Schlatt ignores what he wants for a moment to cover himself decently, trying his best to stave away how his erection is still so obvious underneath his poorly pulled up pants and the pillow.

"I-" He wants Ted to turn to him, wants Ted to gaze at him and call him things, he wants Ted to touch him. But instead Schlatt clears his throat, putting in extra effort to sustain himself and act a little more professional. "Uh, sorry?"

Ted suspects he's covered up, sneaking a peek then facing him when he realizes he's right. His cheeks are colored, saturated with a pink, and he stumbles over his words as he glances at Schlatt cautiously, eyes shifting all over the place even if Schlatt's still not showing off as much.

"I didn't mean to interrupt- hell, Schlatt," He clenches his fist, Schlatt notices, and he coughs, "Hell, man. What- Why?"

Ted slows down, his other hand numbly patting his pocket as Schlatt coils up into himself with his confession.

"The potion," He says, then instantly stills because...

Well, wait a damn minute- Ted said it at the same time as him. The potion.

"Yes," Schlatt hisses, wrapping an arm around himself, skin burning. "Something-" He breathes in, dick twitching because he's still caught up in the world where Ted is crowding him up on the damn couch. "Fuck- Ted, something's wrong with it."

Ted's eyes widen slightly. "You tried it?"

Schlat grimaces. "Of course, but you're the one who guessed it was the fucking potion, man! Like you knew!"

"I- what?"

"Did you know something was off?" Schlatt asks, wanting to scold himself for the way his hands grasp onto the pillow when Ted finally concentrates his gaze onto Schlatt, focused and pouting.

But silent, most of all. Ted doesn't say anything, not for a moment, and Schlatt raises a brow in suspicion. To which Ted folds, bringing his shoulders up in a tense position, stiff as he waves Schlatt away and glances to the side.

"No. No. I did not."

"Ted," Schlatt demands, but the weathered addition to his voice makes him sound more like he's pleading Ted for an answer, not commanding him. Which is fair, Schlatt supposes, that's what it feels like. Here, starved for touch from the man in front of him yet so conflicted because he's so annoyed and upset with Ted all the same. Screw the guy, Schlatt wants him, painfully so. "Ted, what did you do to my fuckin potion, man?"

Ted winces, full body caving under the pressure as he shrugs. "I didn't- look this was an accident."

"Uh," Ted blanks for a moment, unable to recall the name as he attempts to curl in on himself like a turtle. But with no shell, he's still sitting like a duck underneath Schlatt's attentive gaze, and the weight seems to make him snap back to his memory as he shrugs. "Astro- no, Amorous seeds! Seeds, Schlatt. They're Amorous seeds."

Part of Schlatt wants to disappear, maybe even come back with the promise that everything would be fixed in this mess like it never happened. Another part, though, the larger part, wants to shout at Ted for fucking up his potion, then to ask Ted to do the same to him as well, of course, in the suggestive manner one would. God, he's so desperate it really is ridiculous.

But he's also very confused, blinking at Ted as he drops them back into the envelope. "Where the hell did you get these?"

"They're a gift," Ted groans, like he's complaining almost, but Schlatt's glare quickly makes him cut himself off as he glances to the side. "Supposed to be, anyways. Look, there was this man-"

"A stranger?"

"Yeah," Ted confesses and moves on to save himself from hearing what Schlatt has to say about that as he bites his lips in thought for a moment, catching hold of Schlatt's line of vision which then diverts to the way Ted clenches his fists for a moment.

He really shouldn't be doing that, Schlatt thinks.

He tries to stave away the arousal that wants to grab control of him, even if it's difficult. He thinks ignoring how his dick basically begs for attention is more professional in the way anyone could possibly manage to be in a situation of this sort of nature. It hurts, of course, as he ignores how crazy uncomfortable he is. He needs to stop thinking about his friend like this, he tells himself, but he knows it won't do anything as Ted carries on.

"He was selling stuff for potions in this wagon of his-"

"Shit." Schlatt presses the palm of his hand to his mouth with a whisper as realization settles in, picking up on where this is going.

"I know you like doing your whole potion thing," Ted says making Schlatt huff with a sarcastic expression before it shifts with the sight of Ted waving his hands around for a moment when he speaks, and Schlatt nearly gets whiplash when he remembers imaging those hands instead of his own. He looks away from Ted, hiding a frown with the way his dick starts to strain against his pants. He tries to look back at Ted again, wondering if he can handle it now, but his eyes are instantly lingering on Ted's mouth, watching as his tongue peaks through, noticing the faint smell of dewy grass he walked through and the diluted rosemary oil he uses for his hair. Schlatt closes his mouth, only now noticing it has opened, and he tries not to look over Ted so amorously. It makes it a little easier when Ted continues with his stupid story, reminding Schlatt that's he's upset with him. "I didn't know what the seeds were, but he was going out of business or something, so everything was super cheap."

"You dumbass!" Schlatt nearly throws the pillow at him, but the hint of cool air ices over his burning skin, lower stomach exposed, his v-line visible, the cold clashing with the heat of his body. He instantly presses the pillow back down as his control of his situation starts to slip, towers of composure tilting over as he feels a needy edge crawl up his spine.

"When did you put them in?" He rasps, noticing the way Ted subtly widens his eyes, still being a little caught of guard by the effects. But he clears his throat and offers a guilty smile.

"When you told me to add the pomegranate seeds."

"Oh, you suck," Schlatt says, regretting it when his thoughts counter back 'I wish he would' with promiscuous intent, makin his cock ache harder. It stings, it hurts, it's not enough. But he retracts his hand and denies himself from removing his pants.

"I didn't mean it." Ted defends quickly, voice wavering for a moment, hoping that Schlatt will believe him. "I poured the wrong packet in, okay. Total accident!" He throws his hands to the side dramatically, then crosses them as he tilts his head. "It was too late, it's not like I could take them out. They fucking dissolved- I didn't mean it. So I throwed in the pomegranate ones as well."

"And didn't say anything," Schlatt points out with a soft groan, pressing his hands down into the couch to try and resist touching himself, half listening as Ted nods.

"And didn't say anything."

"You're terrible," Schlatt breathes out, locking in on his eyes for a moment. Ted's glasses frame glints from the light pouring from the kitchen, his eyes shining, and dammit it looks good, it's gorgeous. He traces down Ted's jawline, fingers tingling at the sight of his throat. It's so stupidly desirable.

"Little bit," Ted agrees. He holds a hand out, which at first leaves Schlatt at a loss, unsure of what he wants. But then he remembers the envelope he placed to the side and huffs out hot air with effort when he moves to hand it back to him.

"You're an awful-" He places it in Ted's palm, his fingers making skin to skin contact, and his heart pounds, loud in his ears, and he can't help but make a move to hold Ted's wrist. It happens within the blink of an eye, because Schlatt remembers to have a bit of sense, and snaps his hand back like Ted bit him. He groans sadly at the seperation, head low with shame, breathless. "Awful person."

Ted swallows, Schlatt watching the movement with hungry eyes as Ted picks up a small pinch of nervousness, unsure of how he should react. Schlatt doesn't blame him.

"Again, Schlatt, I'm sorry, this was accidental," He says, but any worry for his best friend turns sideways in Schlatt's brain and he starts thinking about that same voice whispering a whole bunch of sultry shit into his ear. So he half listens, half zones out trying to focus on getting rid of every horny thought. "I could..." Ted notices Schlatt's partially absent mind and clears his throat, trying his best to go in the route that he thinks is best for this strange situation they've both landed in. "I could try to find out a cure? I could leave and-"

"No." Schlatt cuts him off, not even meaning to say it. The plead just came out, he couldn't help it. But, well, he is starting to need Ted. Badly. And if the man leaves Schlatt has a feeling everything is just going to get worse for some reason. He can't explain it, but he just knows that Ted walking away is going to do the opposite of help. So the alternative is he stays here.

Ted seems rightfully confused, head running through any possible reason Schlatt wouldn't want him to head out and look for a cure. He doesn't seem to find one, Schlatt can tell my the look in his eyes, but he also thinks that's because Ted is blocking out one very obvious answer.

"Just-" Schlatt doesn't know how to put it into words without making his best friend so incredibly uncomfortable. He still goes at an attempt, holding his hand up like a beggar on the road, and gazes up at him. Ted looks down, mouth drawing into a thin line of uncertainty. "Don't go, Ted," He asks, "I need- just touch me, okay? It helps. It helps me, please."

Ted's whole body falters, biting his cheek as he tilts his head in suspicion. "Schlatt, you okay? Are you sure?"

Schlatt nods, making a grabbing motion with his hand. "Ted, come on."

Ted finally seems to cave, shoulders drooping and but his face all tense in expression as he moves to hold Schlatt's hand, long fingers wrapping around Schlatt, palm to palm, and it makes Schlatt feel exhilarated. This is it, this is what he needs, even if it's hardly even halfway to being enough. It actually does help, the touch makes part of his body stop tingling so incredibly much. Of course, it doesn't help with the main issue being his dick, but this is baby steps, he thinks.

He squeezes Ted's hand, insistent, and when he meets Ted's attentive gaze he can't help but squirm where he sits, feeling his whole body suddenly ache with want.

A mere hand won't do.

He breathes out, still embarrassed by how weathered his voice is. "More," He whispers, barely loud enough for the other man to hear. When Ted doesn't make a move instantly, Schlatt lightly tugs at his hand, encouraging him to move in while he reaches his other hand to request Ted's own.

"I-"

"Please?" Schlatt's fingers graze across Ted's knuckles, searching for contact, any at all, and he hides a frown when Ted's hand sways back. They're still holding hands of course, but Schlatt wants more. Needs it, even.

Which is why he feels a moment of straight betrayal when Ted reels his hand back, disconnecting them completely. A heavy rock drops to the bottom of Schlatt's stomach, he frowns, and holds his breath as he thinks of a new way to convince his friend.

That is until Ted moves to sit next to him on the couch, attempting to maintain a serious face to hide all the ways he's lacking confidence as of right now. Schlatt's heart spikes up, eagerness etched into his expression as he twists his torso around.

"Okay," Ted says quietly, accepting the role, offering to help, and it makes Schlatt's chest blossom with warmth, makes his dick twitch inappropriately as the potion swirls through him, making his thoughts hazy and highlighting the way a thick strand of hair still sticks out no matter what Ted does, or the wide bow of his lips which basically call Schlatt's name as they move around the man's vowels. "Tell me what to do in order to help, then."

Schlatt makes a noise of grateful relief, serving Ted with a glance of appreciation, face still flushed. He tries to wipe off the sweat on his face before leaning closer and gesturing to himself. "Could you, like-" He purses his lips into a downwards shape of contemplation, slight humiliations weighing down the inner points of his eyebrows, leaving them furrowed before he waves a hand aimlessly. "God, I dunno, just hold me, man."

And so Ted does. He moves with too much caution, much to Schlatt's dismay. He needs a bit more directiveness up in here, but Ted is trying to be something close to careful as he reaches his hands out, not sure where to place them, and his lashes flutter when Schlatt darts to move them to his side.

"Oh, hell." Schlatt hangs his head in a whisper, Ted's palms pressing right up against the dumb material of his shirt is enough to soak a reaction out of him, of course. There's a beam of pleasure that shoots south, cock painfully hard, and he holds back a compromising noise as he focuses in on the touch. It's enlightening, it's wonderful, it's everything-

It's not enough, naturally.

His hands move to hold onto Ted's forearms, arching his chest towards Ted in a weird position, legs still facing forward while Ted is to his right. It's not an ideal set up, so he shifts around to fully face him, humming at the hold Ted has on him. "More," He repeats from earlier and this time he gets it. This is the time where Ted listens and follows through.

He pulls Schlatt closer, his knee grazing across the whole side of Schlatt's thigh and it's just enough to make him let out a breathy moan. His hands are holding Schlatt at his waist, eyeing him with a whole bag of concern for his friend. Meanwhile, Schlatt is just trying to figure out how to satisfy the ache in himself in order to end it for good.

He squirms, mouth parted with a pant, and squeezes Ted's arms when his movement causes their legs to brush up against each other even more. The contact makes his skin set on fire, a trail of warmth steadily climbing up to his dick, and he leans forward, not thinking, as his hands slide up to Ted's shoulders and bring him closer.

Their foreheads bump for a moment, the proximity is undoing, and he hangs his head with a flushed face and closed eyes. "Ted it's not enough," He whispers, and he can feel Ted's huff, he can feel Ted adjust his hold on him turn into more of a grip, almost like a warning, as if he knows where this is going. Schlatt doesn't care, because it's Ted's fault anyways. So he carries on, scooting himself closer, pillow nearly falling out of his lap until Ted quickly moves a hand to press it down, which makes Schlatt grunt, shaking his head. "Ted, seriously."

"Schlatt." His voice is gravelly, nearly, and it sends a slight shiver down Schlatt's spine, which could be corny, however, Schlatt can't help it as he's currently losing his mind and everything else he had, namely dignity as he peaks up at Ted and his lashes flutter.

"You did this," He spits out, and he's thankful that there's at least a pinch of anger within his words, otherwise who knows if it would have gotten Ted's attention, who knows if Ted would have even cared. He looks, though, and listens. "So help me."

Ted holds his breath, his hands faltering for a moment, pillow falling as Schlatt takes the opportunity bring himself even closer, thighs slotting as he groans.

"Come on, Ted," He prompts, so obnoxiously desperate but right now isn't the time to hate himself for how he's clinging onto Ted with all of his hope. Ted is silent for a second, shocked perhaps, and then his lips are pulled into a small frown.

"Oh my-"

"Ted."

"Fuck," Ted grumbles, looking away from Schlatt, yet his hands still stay wrapped around him. He blinks repeatedly for a moment, then scrunches his nose. "Schlatt, no, come on, no way."

"Dammit, why not?" Schlatt shoots back, hands falling from Ted's shoulder to cross his arms with frustration, brows knotted together and his dick peaking out, begging anybody for anything, but Schlatt has Ted right here, he wants it to be him. But Ted isn't buying it just yet as he scoffs.

"Why not? Schlatt, holy- what the hell man?" He grips Schlatt tighter for a second, eyes flashing when he realizes this, and brings his hand back and pointedly ignores looking down at where Schlatt needs the most attention. He runs a hand through his hair, attempting to calm himself, but his face is getting redder by the second as he bites his lower lip, trying to find his words, and glares at Schlatt. "I'm not- okay, look, I am not gonna touch your dick!" He throws a hand to the side for emphasis, then it lands on Schlatt's lower thigh, making Schlatt momentarily lose focus, but he does try to listen as Ted's shoulders sag. "You're basically fucking drugged, right? That's what this is?" He looks to the kitchen, attempting to remind Schlatt of his potions, because this is happening because of the potion. Ted does look guilty as he says it though, and Schlatt has a sliver of himself that renders it good that Ted can realize it is his damn fault. "You- shit, shit." He cuts himself off, worry bringing his brows to form a distressed expression to sit on his face as he shrugs twice, stress radiating off of him in waves. "Schlatt, you can't think, you're not in the right mind, so- so I can't, I won't. You don't want this."

There's a piece of Schlatt that actually leaves room for other stupid feelies other than just 'horny and oh my god I need' that allows Schlatt to seethe, his crossed arms coming undone to push at Ted's chest with irritation, lips forming around an ugly snarl as he shoves Ted, all of his bitterness being transformed into something way bigger than itself due to the stupid potion, because apparently it amplifies everything including his anger, not just his desperate need to be touched.

"You don't know that!" He shouts at him, full on, and watches as Ted's eyes widen, clearly not expecting the small outburst, the furrow of his brows written in with ink full of resentment. Ted can sense that the potion must be making his emotions even stronger, though, because he doesn't shout back, and doesn't quite take it to heart just yet as Schlatt takes his hands off of Ted. "Those stupid seeds may be doing numbers, Ted, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of recognizing my own fucking feelings, okay, I know whether or not I would have wanted this potion or no damn potion."

"I-" Ted swallows instead of finishing that thought, like he's bringing it down to drown, and he chokes for a second on it. "So what- I mean, what you're saying is?"

He doesn't bother to finish, like he thinks he'll get it wrong, like he doesn't believe it, and waits as Schlatt's upset frown lessens itself as he nods.

"Ted, listen, y'know, I was thinking about you coming here today, okay? It was this morning, and, well, yknow, I was sitting there for a moment thinking about this-"

Schlatt moves, hovering his lips incredibly close to Ted's own and watching the way surprise and poorly concealed arousal start to spread across Ted's features. He doesn't make any move to inch closer, though, just stays there, the warmth of their breathes mingling as he gazes at him.

"I thought about it, I did, man," He confesses, the tips of his fingers tingling as he glides his hand up Ted's arm. "I went like this, yknow."

Ted hums along, attentively following the story as Schlatt moves his other hand up and up, curving around the back of Ted's neck, his skin boiling, stomach clenching with desire as he tilts his head ever so slightly, lips brushing. "Then this, and then..."

He pauses, the possibility to be flustered returning to him as Ted's eyes dampen with the loss of the rest of the story, so he presses on, morbid curiosity sinking into his soul.

"And then what?" He asks, voice low it has Schlatt biting his cheek before he answers, palm pressed flat against Ted's bicep and his other hand curling the hair at the nape of his neck gently.

"And then you kissed me," Schlatt reveals, breathless, anticipation swelling his heart and making it thump against his ribcage. Yes he needs Ted's touch and all of that because of the potion, but really, deep down, he's always kept it to himself that he wants Ted more than anything and needs Ted himself, needs his company and his smug chuckle and everything that makes him so terribly Ted. So he waits, hopeful in a way the potion couldn't have forced him to be, and beams when he feels Ted's lips meeting his own.

The sensation of it all rekindles that ache, desire sparking up ten times larger as his dick twitches and his whine is swallowed by the other, muffled noises dragged out of him as he rolls his hips forward, friction present although minimal. It can still evoke a reaction out of him, of course, as he grinds down onto Ted's thigh, hungry for more as it's not nearly enough despite the delicious sting of pleasure that it creates. He disregards any self preservations that could possibly have remained after basically climbing onto Ted, he throws out any left over when Ted's hand finally wraps around his dick after tugging his pants down.

He lets out this strangled noise, caught off guard by the way it makes his whole body jolt for a second, letting out a breathy "Shit" when his vocals are drawn out into a moan, soaking up the feeling of Ted's hand on him, thumb pressed flat against the side, nearly the tip- and Schlatt can look down to, such a ridiculously graphic sight, but then his vision starts to blur for just a faint second when Ted shifts his hands, actually jerking him off, and Schlatt has to glance away from the stupid amount of pre.

Schlatt doesn't feel quite sedated, though, not nearly there. He huffs a little bit with frustration, then whines with pleasure, the sound escaping his throat whether he ever wanted it to or not, and he drapes himself across Ted, arms thrown over his shoulders. It's wonderful, really, yet there's still this empty part of him that is raging around, demanding to be completed. Momentarily he forgets about it, Ted's lips suddenly grazing across the bare skin of his neck, making his back straighten quickly, the movement out of his control. But then- of course- because Schlatt should've guessed this within his fantasies- Ted starts kissing his neck, a gentle and affectionate thing at first that has him melting. Here is what he should have known though, as Ted presses his tongue flat against his neck, hot and suffocating his skin, before he pulls back onto to pierce his skin in the lightest way he can, making Schlatt gasp. Ted bit Schlatt, wiping the area with his tongue and Schlatt has half the mind to be grossed out by his tongue, but then remembers it was only just recently in his mouth, so it's whatever at this point, especially because there might be bigger fish to fry.

Despite how close he feels to the edge, like he could come at any second, there still remains that lingering shard, stuck in his skin and making him unable to decide whether his body wants to buck up into Ted's hand, or downwards like something's there for him. His breaths are laboured, his eyes have fallen shut, and his hands tighten around the fabric of Ted's shirt he's bunched up into his grip.

"Ted-" He loses himself for a moment, words floating away in the wave of bliss that is repeatedly washed over him. He resurfaces, pulling his face back from Ted's shoulder and feverishly moving his hips and in any other circumstances Schlatt might laugh at himself, saying he's like a dancer. But instead he squints, meeting Ted's gaze the best he can. He tries not to let out a moan when he opens his mouth, face tilted, aim slanted when he kisses Ted. "I'm close, I can- I fucking feel it, Ted."

Ted hums into the kiss, his other hand slithering around to Schlatt's lower back, and he encourages him further with a breathless chuckle. "Mkay, okay," He prompts him, coaxing him with the movement of his hand, engulfing his dick with a relentless warmth, and taking in a sharp breath when Schlatt moans in his ear. "Holy shit-" He cuts himself off, his under-the-breath whispers retreating as he blinks, captured in what just could be named appreciation as he watches Schlatt come undone, a choked groan as uncerminous as his ragdoll against Ted.

Schlatt's attempting to control his breathing again, of course, after realizing he's just ruined his pants, but can't quite seem to care when he notices a daunting fact- the damn potion- he chokes out a soft sob at the sight, head hung low. He's still hard and he still aches, which shouldn't be happening. It hurts, at least a little, how empty he feels, and the hands he had drifting down Ted's body clench as he feels a hint of rage boil within.

"Are you kidding me," He mumbles into Ted's shirt, pulling back, gasping for air. It looks like Ted is about to pull back, seemingly assuming he's done all that Schlatt needs, and he looked near dazed, in a dream. But the reality is making a bubble of panic lodge in Schlatt's throat because no matter how great it is to feel Ted's hands all over him, he needs this burning pain to stop, it drives him crazy. And perhaps the infected, potion drunk, sick part of him wanted to only prove that point, because he jumps at Ted when he makes a move to give Schlatt some space. It's like a hug but instead Schlatt feels like every inch of his sanity is being driven up the walls, and his lips are back on Ted's.

"Ted, don't go," He says, trying for casual, only landing on desperate. He laughs, at himself he thinks, the absurdity of it all, and it's not a pretty laugh either as his eyes prick with single tears, by themselves and waiting for the command to trickle down his flushed cheeks. This all insane, really, Schlatt thinks as he reaches for Ted's wrist. "I still fucking need you, man, I-" He hisses when Ted shifts around slightly, then a surprised noise follows when Ted's moving to quick for him to comprehend and next thing he knows his back slams into the couch, knees bent, facing the roof, and Ted hovering over him with swollen lips because Schlatt couldn't keep away from them.

"I won't go," He confirms, a comforting statement that extinguishes the small crack within Schlatt's chest that was starting to grow, praying Ted wouldn't leave, trying to convince him he would, a circle of self-imposed stress, a fire that Ted quickly kills, pinning him to the couch with his hands on Schlatt's arms.

"Good," Schlatt sighs, shoulders loosening up while the majority of him still stays restless, like his fingers that itch to crawl over more skin, and that stupid fucking hole in him that's making him crumble from the inside out all because he needs a way to be filled. Here, though, when Ted's eyes rake over him, it's pretty clear how he'll get that. Ted seems to be making a similar connection as he lets out a breathy sound, maybe it's supposed to be a laugh? Like he's in disbelief.

"This is insane."

"I know," Schlatt admits, he bends his hand awkwardly, hoping he could meet Ted's, but he's too restrained, and lets his head fall back with a grunt. "Just go with it, please."

"I want to," Ted quickly confesses, then lowering his head, gaze no longer pointed at Schatt, and his hair falls down, blocking his expression. "I want to, Schlatt, but what do I do-"

"Fuck me, Ted."

Schlatt's holding his whole entire life on the line, it feels, breath held up in his legs, chest seized with anxious anticipation as he wraps his legs around Ted. It's almost delicate how he does so, like even after everything that's happened since Ted said yes to this, that Schlatt still needs to be aware off one wrong step, one move in the wrong direction before it all comes crashing down. Because, well, this, and actually for real this time this right here is big. It isn't a handjob to help a friend out, now it's that and Schlatt's stupid confession about already being attracted to him, it's all his thoughts about wanting Ted as something more than a friend-

And now it's asking to have full blown sex. Ted's right, this is insane.

"Fuck," Ted cusses, and Schlatt can easily see the light in his eyes, the excitement to jump at the chance given, Ted's own less wild-like desire creeping up on him. It's tame in the way he craves it, he isn't starved unlike Schlatt, he isn't falling apart, seams ripping, just for the slightest skin to skin contact. But he definitely wants this, nonetheless, and that makes Schlatt swell up with various positive feelings. "For real?"

Schlatt nods, eager. "Really."

"I'll go get-"

"No," Schlatt argues, legs tightening around Ted desperately, flexing with his arms halfway above his head, like losing Ted's grip to hold him down was a loss and he's trying to regain. "I don't need any of that, just fuck me, please."

Ted is a little baffled, but he nods, even his ears pink, and he makes quick work to fully tug off Schlatt's pants, looking back up at him for permission. Schlatt lets his legs drop and soon his whole bottom half is bare naked, the potion's effects grab a hold of Schlatt again, blossoming when Ted's fully naked, like a gift from above maybe. His whole world is tilted when Ted is closing in on him again, crowding him on the couch, and taking hint of the way Schlatt squirms, arms lazily reaching up towards the arm of the couch.

It all lands with Ted's hands pressing Schlatt's wrist down into the couch as he slides into him, hot air tumbling from his parted lips in slow pants as he bottoms out, Schlatt's lower body lifted upwards for better leverage, legs once again wrapped around the man above him.

"Fucking shit," He rushes out, all short-winded already, lifting his head to gaze at the sight where Ted becomes Schlatt, or the other way around, who knows. He moans, looking back up at the ceiling, and arches his back towards it.

He's fucking finally being feed it seems, throwing fuel into the roaring engine that burns him from the inside, that makes him spill out moan after moan, something so whorish but he can't help it when Ted is inside him, dick filling in perfectly. It sedates him the same time it makes him fully lose his mind, going slack while his mouth spits out mantras that bed Ted for more.

He has no idea if he'll be embarrassed after this, he can't think, not when Ted fucks into him, and his brain walks out the door.

"Shit!" He rears his head to the side, meeting his arm, and squeezes his eyes shut with a pleasured hiss, Ted daring to slow down. "Please, Ted, don't you fuckin stop. Don't, I swear, I might fuckin- please."

"God," Ted mumbles, breathy and spent, dragging out the way he sinks into Schlatt, making him impatient, and he offers a small smile in the mix. "This is the most I've ever heard you say please."

"You're crazy," Schlatt spits out, not really knowing what to say. His words sound half-assed, loopy even, and he feels it as the rise and fall of his chest is left alone without Ted's paced thrusts, without any of it, just this slow and tantalizing shift of his hips.

"Aren't you?" Ted counters and Schlatt can't even think of a simple 'no' or any other way to deny him before he picks back up again, shameless with how he rams into Schlatt, actually, and Schlatt's short-lived pillars of composure are striked down again, keening as he balls his hands into fists.

The actual sex sort of feels like living within a heartbeat's pulse, a methodic rhythm surging through, on a timed cycle, continuous and counted on. It's in sync with the messy, needy, and enraptured melodie that supposedly forms with Schlatt's whines and muttered out rambles, paired with Ted's moan when Schlatt dares to try and meet him there, hips bucking. It's the sort of elated flow where Schlatt has just let go, happy with nothing in his head, content with the blurry edges all around because he feels good, so he's perfectly okay when he can't even try to form a proper sentence anymore, rants turning into babbling nonsense as he twists in Ted's hold, back once again lifting from the couch, a perfect crescent bent arc, words failing him as he reaches an orgasm for a second time, this without any warning beforehand, choking on a pleasantly spent groan before sinking into the couch like it could take his body, suck him in fully. But Ted's dick is still in him, he starts to register, and he can feel little prickly tingles of overstimulation start to sparkle.

Ted, thankfully, isn't far behind Schlatt, actually, and quickly moves to kiss Schlatt's neck when he finishes, a strange sort of sentiment, one that melts Schlatt who at least feels like he's passed the solid stage and deformed into a liquid, all loose and so easy to move as Ted pulls out, breathing heavy, gazing at the way Schlatt's still catching his own breath. It's easy for Ted to just lift Schlatt up, like he's boneless, and settle the other into the closet sitting position they'll get as Schlatt closes his eyes, spent like a bitch, he'll admit.

He doesn't yet hold the capacity in his brain to fully realize that his cock isn't no longer painfully hard, but somehow he's able to feel relief about it nonetheless, no matter how little he comprehends it yet. The ache in him is fading away, he can feel it, and his senses slowly trudge back to him through thick mud and fog, leaving Schlatt to gaze thoughtlessly for a while, exhaling loudly as all of the hot air and overwhelming warmth finally starts to float out of his body, no longer trapping him, and he feels lighter in that sense.

Ted is cautious for a second, watching him intently as he runs a hand through his hair. "So did it work?" He asks, he refers to the sex as it, and Schlatt has half the mind to snort at that. Partially because he finds it funny, and a little bit because he doesn't like it.

He takes a moment, making sure he'll be able to speak in a competent manner, and shoots a glare at Ted. "Uh, yeah, the sex we had worked, Ted."

Chips of bliss slowly fall off of his shoulders, clarity approaching Schlatt slowly, his headspace gradually returning to the ground from over the moon, somewhere out there, but it's making its way back, and he groans, exhausted and a fucking mess as Ted huffs.

"That's good," Ted states and Schlatt isn't committed enough to reality yet to throw in a 'no shit', doesn't have train of thought, so he just focuses on getting the train tracks down as Ted's eyes slide to the ground, meeting their tossed clothes, and oh, that's right, Ted is entirely naked. "It- the sex was good too- as well."

Schlatt pauses, sneaking a glance at Ted and biting his lip, an internal debate rising to storm on what Ted even means by any of it. Is it a simple statement, he should take it at face value, as it is, and leave it there, or is Ted leading up to the point where he says it's never happening again though, or that it will be- Schlatt has no fucking clue, and he thinks it's not even because he got his brains fucked just moments ago.

So he sighs, risking it, and smiles a little. "Yeah, it was. Even if there wasn't any potion involved, yknow, I think it could've been fun?"

And, well, maybe the potions effects haven't worn off just yet, because he's been repeatedly throwing himself out there ever since Ted walked through the door, waiting for Ted to catch him, hoping he'll be reeled in. And he has no idea if he would've been so bold without it, to be honest, he isn't sure. He's thought about handing out some sort of confession, if it had to have a name, in hopes of seeking out whether Ted would return what Schlatt feels here, hand against his chest as he leans back, looking upwards as he swallows nervously.

"You think so, huh?" Ted eventually asks, a secret plea for confirmation, perhaps, a check for his ears, an offer to Schlatt to take it all back.

Schlatt stands his guard and nods. "I do."

Ted makes a soft and flustered noise, covering it as he aggressively clears his throat, turning away with the blush on his cheeks, and he waves a hand in an attempt to be nonchalant. "Well, Schlatt, I think I'll just toss it out there," He starts, looking out at the rest of the living room like it's suddenly gotten more entertaining than all the other times he's been here. "Toss out a sort of proposal, I guess."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Schlatt hums and Ted finally looks at Schlatt. "Sometime in the future we could see, yknow?"

"We could see," Schlatt mumbles, lost for a second, mind circling back, and he gets giddy, leaning towards Ted.

"Yes, Schlatt, we could see how it plays out with no potion, if you want."

Schlatt lets out a short chuckle, amused and delighted, and kisses Ted, near tender. "Sounds like a date, pal, but first we gotta get clean."

Ted seems to only now register the fact that Schlatt's correct, as he glances down at both of their lower halves, and the couch, and scrunches his nose with a distasteful sigh. "Alright," He groans in defeat, ever so dramatic about responsibility, and Schlatt snickers when Ted bends over the couch to retrieve some of the disregarded clothes.

"Oh, of course, and you can make dinner," Schlatt chimes in, watching with a grin from where he sits and Ted huffs, possible disagreement on the tip of his tongue, but holds it down and kisses Schlatt instead.

"Don't complain if it's bad, then, you're now asking for it."

Schlatt rolls his eyes, not deigning him with a response, eyes falling shut. He can't keep them closed for long, though, when he feels a jolt of something cold against his stomach and snaps up only to see Ted pressing a towel to his skin.

"Fuck you," He grumbles, shaking off his alarmed state. Ted, meanwhile, just titles his head with a floppy smile.

"Eh, let's try the other way, maybe?" He suggests and Schlatt, tired enough to be dumb for it, falls straight into the trap as he rubs an eye, grimacing when it doesn't stave away his urge to pass out.

"Fuck me?"

"Oh, dude, maybe later."

Schlatt comes to a halt, seeing the way he's been played, and whacks Ted with the little energy still wavering around in his body. "You're the worst."

Ted only smiles and Schlatt only watches, silently admitting how much he likes the sight, and maybe- possibly- Ted isn't actually the worst.

Schlatt quickly tells himself, though, that Ted is banned from dealing with potions, of course.

Of course.

#smut #fanfic #mlm smut #ted x schlatt #ted nivison #schlatt x ted #schlatt #schlatt smut #ted nivision smut #smut fic

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twistafr · 1 year ago

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Snippet

Here is a short peek into the SchlattxTed fic i'm working on. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and also I think I have one of those queston things in case you wanna request a fic idea or anything. This snippet is from a sex pollen fic, it's not someting i've written before but i hope people like it lol SNIPPET (it's like 600 words):

#smut #mlm smut #schlatt #ted nivison #fanfic #schlatt x ted #ted x schlatt #ted nivision smut #schlatt smut #smut fic

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twistafr · 1 year ago

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Do It For The Trees, Do It For Me, Do It For The Camera, Baby

part 2 of the camera captured series: a tedxschlatt smut fic

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,897 Summary: There, on his screen, it’s right there. ‘What if we recorded us’. It taunts him, which it shouldn’t, he sent it himself. But internally his guts tangle in knots, emotionally representing a cartoon character chewing anxiously on their nails like crazy.

or, the fic where Schlatt and Ted attend a fundraiser to plant trees with a bunch of cameras around, and it gives them an idea.

(yes they make a sex tape for themselves)

After the first time it happens, it only seems to continue happening. Of course, the first time being that one video Schlatt watches back, noticing how if somebody was looking hard enough- for whatever reason- that his hair is just a little bit messier when they try out the first flavor of ice cream. Nothing is for sure a tell tale sign unless you know , and Schlatt does. God, he knows, and he can’t stop thinking about it.

How Ted just told him he wanted to kiss him, just like that, and then he did.

Schlatt also thinks about how after that, he ended up underneath Ted for the first time, how he just couldn’t get enough, taking anything Ted gave him.

It makes Schlatt’s head spin and next thing he knows, he wants Ted, he wants to feel that again.

So of course the first time isn’t the last time. As said, it seems to continue happening.

It starts off the next day after the video was filmed, when Schlatt is still hanging around Ted’s place and eyeing him, watching as he moves around and meets his eyes too. Both clearly thinking about the same thing, thinking about yesterday.

So when Schlatt is resting on the couch, a little frustrated because Ted has yet to say anything, he just can’t take the wait anymore when Ted sits down next to him and- screw the man- he sets a firm hand on Schlatt’s thigh, then smooths his hands over the bare of his leg, and looks over at him.

“I like your shorts,” Ted says, and it’s obvious in his eyes that he knows what he’s doing. “They live up to the name.”

It just isn’t fair. So hopefully it was Ted telling Schlatt he also was done pretending to be patient, because Schlatt took it as such, and forgoes all formalities and kisses Ted.

That lands with him getting fingered halfway into his life on Ted’s couch, and he will not be admitting how easily Ted managed to make him come.

The third time, like the second, they never make it to the full steps they took when it all first started. It goes something like they’re both bored, don’t have a lot to do, and end up playing a game of basketball against each other. So on, so forth, something else about being all sweaty and feeling maybe a little too much adrenaline as they shoot hoops. One thing leads to another, a little bet is placed on who wins, and Schlatt ends up giving Ted what he hopes was a decent blow job. He doesn’t know how it ended up there, but he isn’t complaining.

Throughout all of it though, Schlatt seems to notice a development. Now, the two were always somewhat touchy, he supposes. But it seems that now it’s been dialed up to a new level.

They’re out in public, around people who could possibly recognize them, and Ted keeps purposely bumping their shoulders together. Schlatt, for whatever reason, also finds himself occasionally patting Ted’s arm. He feels like a bit of an idiot, a little confused on why that’s his form of wordlessy returning Ted’s attention. It might be even more confusing that Ted seems to know what it means when Schlatt pats his palm against Ted’s forearm, then later right under his shoulder.

Schlatt doesn’t know if the word affection is right for it, because that word sends his stomach swirling with this strange sensation he’d rather just ignore for now. Which is easier said than done, of course, since almost every little thing recently is apparently triggering it.

Like when they’re both out of ears reach from anyone, Ted pulls out his phone just for a cover up, leaning towards Schlatt to make it look like he’s explaining something on his screen, and then whispers in his ear what can only be described as pure filth about how he wonders if anyone here could possibly make Schlatt as desperate as Ted did.

Schlatt coughs, looks around at all the unknowing adults around them, and has to remind himself he in fact, is also a grown up and shouldn’t be acting like a blushing virgin. So he whacks Ted and acts offended to try and brush off his fluster, and tilts his head up.

“Your ego’s bigger than your dick, man.”

Ted chuckles at that, a smile spreading across his face, and Schlatt finds himself staring at it for a second too long, capturing the scene and he’s pretty sure his brain is storing it for memory.

Then, finally, Ted and Schlatt actually do have somewhere to be.

A fundraiser, that is.

About trees.

Schlatt is pretty sure it had something to do with trees and Mr Beast. Either way, he’s showing up willingly. At least, a little, he was only a little bummed he couldn’t have stayed at Ted’s to let the man take his shorts off. But Ted is here, Schlatt himself is, and apparently so is Ludwig, who greets them with his usual manners, but also says Schlatt’s shorts are ugly.

Which is fine because Ted has said otherwise.

The event must be some Twitch thingy, Schlatt honestly can’t remember much about any of it.

But he’s fine with being here, he’s fine with stopping to get his picture taken. Ted’s right next to him, too, arm behind him and his hand gently resting on Schlatt’s back. It’s innocent in nature, really, but Schlatt simply can not see it that way because he knows how Ted has touched him, he feels the ghost of it, knows what it feels like if Ted were to let his hand wander around.

For a moment Schlatt gets so caught up in it all he wonders if he were a speculating stand byer, what they might see. How Ted and Schlatt arrived together, how their hips touched once, maybe twice, and they both looked at each other and laughed like it was some inside joke. How Ted just keeps on putting a hand on him every time somebody points a camera or phone at them.

It’s a bit much, yet Schlatt finds himself soaking it up, drinking in the feeling that starts to bubble up in his chest like a thirty man. Because hey, technically he is. His head just can not stop thinking about how many people are seeing them right now, seeing them together, how all the cameras flash and capture the two of them, standing so close, both smiling.

And God, he knows obviously he wouldn’t actually want the whole world to know they’ve fucked. But- well, something about it makes him take a second as he glances around. It’s just two dudes standing. That’s all it should be. That’s all the picture really is. But it’s Ted, whose kissed Schlatt’s lips swollen and pushed his legs apart. And Schlatt, who eagerly went for it all, legs hooking around Ted, bringing him closer, trying to take every inch.

It’s different. Even if it shouldn’t be.

Schlatt faces Ted for a moment and catches him already looking. Off in the distance, Schlatt can see the video camera recording the area, the one that can see them, the one that can document the moment Schlatt’s lips pull up with a pleasant familiarity in Ted’s laughter.

“What do you think?” Ted asks, lifting a hand to gesture around to the building. Schlatt hums. The concept of it all is fairly alright. Get a bunch of people with enough followings and have them pay to play a couple of silly games, and put all the money to the fundraiser, and promote the event with the clout gained from the people invited.

Makes sense, he thinks. His presence will at least plant two trees.

So he nods. “It’s decent.”

“Yeah?” Ted questions, an eyebrow quirked up before he squints over at something. “You think trying to compete with a couple gamers in cornwhole is just decent?”

“I do.”

“Hey, whoever donates the most money at the end of this thing gets their own tree,” Ted says, stepping closer and pointing a finger in the air like he’s trying to persuade Schlatt. “Just so you know.”

“I know.” Schlatt rolls his eyes. “But, hey, how does that even work?”

Ted pauses, eyes drifting away before he looks at Schlatt, blinks, and shrugs. “I’m not sure. Maybe you have to fly out and plant it yourself and that’s just the pure extent of it belonging to you.”

A light chuckle slips past Schlatt’s lips, and his busy mind starts to settle a little as he tilts his head to the side. “Or maybe you get a custom gold plate with your name on it, and they set it right in front of the tree.” .

Ted snorts. “Nah, the tree gets its own fence,” He suggests, patting his hands over his pockets and leaning forward. “An electric one.”

Schlatt raises his eyes curiously and Ted waves a hand.

“And only you have the key to get in.”

“I would never use the damn key,” Schlatt confesses with a scrunch of his face, shaking his head. “I would lose it.”

When Ted laughs at him, he has this new tendency to lean in and lay a hand on Schlatt’s shoulder, which he does, and suddenly Schlatt’s mind is back at it, like an old machine that’s been rebooted with a kick.

The cameras. God, the cameras can see this. Everyone here who can see them can see this . It’s him and Ted. Together. It’s Schlatt and Ted standing so close that Schlatt has to actively refuse the itch in his fingertips to reach out towards Ted, so close that Schlatt for some reason feels his chest hiccup with warmth.

He catches eyes on the two of them, some lady who was curious where that sudden burst of laughter was from, and Schlat stupidly finds himself relapsing into the thought of it.

There is something watching them as they move around, as Ted ends up playing one of the games setup. It represents a little promotional fairs and all their tents, almost, with all of these little pop up entertainment stations that are accompanied by information to bring people some environmental awareness. One would think if Mr Beast was involved it would be something grand, something that flashed and sang money. Or just a little bit of dashes here and there that promise the abundance of dollars.

However, Schlatt could almost call this place humble.

His ego, though, is a different story when he and Ted are captured by a camera. He has an idea of what the two of them look like, and it starts to make him trip back into the water he was just getting out of. The waves that seem to keep coming back and flooding his mind with the little hypothetical of what if we look good? This is of course where his ego is introduced into this weird scenario that is building itself up in his mind. Because the more he thinks about it, the more he wants to lean into it, and starts to think, yeah, maybe they do look good together .

The picture of Ted kneeling, holding up a hula hoop for Schlatt to grab. His own fingers are slightly wrapped around it, and Ted is looking up at him like for at least a second or two, Schlatt was the only person in this building. So, yeah, Schlatt has an idea of what they look like. And he wants to see it.

Fuck it, he wants to see what it looks like when Ted is all on him. He wonders if he looks good when Ted kisses him. Or if he looks weird. He hopes not.

Schlatt throws the hula hoop with a distracted mind, but ends up making it around the weird looking bowling pins they’ve got here, and when Ted gives him a high-five he can’t stop thinking because it’s contact, physical contact, and it burns and he wants more and he wants to see more.

He wonders if it’s just a little too strange to be thinking this way, how all of a sudden being out in front of a potential audience and cameras is starting to set off these fireworks inside of him that sparkle in the sky and spell out the idea that they can just walk around like this, only them knowing the true extent of how much they’ve seen from each other, is thrilling. He doesn’t know why the idea is thrilling- or well, he kind of knows. He still isn’t completely sure if he should be thinking like this.

But then again, nobody here is to tell him he shouldn’t.

Except maybe Ted, who is eyeing him with curiosity, brows furrowed and lips pursed slightly downwards. Maybe Ted can read his thoughts, maybe Ted’s been hearing them all along and he’s about to tell Schlatt exactly why he shouldn’t be thinking this way. Who the hell knows, maybe this is where Schlatt gets flagged down for all of these spiraling and imaginative blips of scenarios that rush into his head, make him choke, then leave with the promise of eventually returning.

“You’re strangely silent.” Is what Ted announces instead, nothing else said, and Schlatt huffs.

“I’m just counting down the seconds until we leave,” He says in half-truth. He is not counting shit, however, all of a sudden it’s very hard to act like a patient person when he knows he can be somewhere else, be at Ted’s place and have the man all for himself, knowing that he can give himself to Ted who will gladly take him.

Obviously Ted can read into it and smiles. “Wow, you’ve got priorities.” He teases playfully and Schlatt shakes his head at his ridiculous comment.

“More like preferences.” He corrects. “Excuse me for caring a little less about tossing plastic rings around- mind you at an event to help raise money to plant trees-” Schlatt points out, gesturing back behind them where the game was, “You know, plastic, trees, and whatnot-”

That gets a chuckle from Ted and even somebody walking by, making Schlatt pause, look around, the focus of his brain tiptoeing back to the fact that there’s so many people around, so many cameras, who see them together. Not maybe in the way they were a while ago, with Ted in him, but it’s enough in the direction that Schlatt has to compose himself before starting over again.

“Okay.” He breathes in. “You cannot blame me for wanting to be elsewhere, which you know what that is.”

“I do know,” Ted says simply, then shifts forward and elbows him. “But I’m counting how many times you keep looking at the cameras and we’re on nineteen right now, pal,” Ted starts and Schlatt feels heat wash over his face with what might be embarrassment because shit, he’s been caught. “Nineteen isn’t a satisfying number. It’s odd, too.”

And that’s stupid, Schlatt thinks. Ted is a stupid man, actually, a very fun fact because it’s a common misconception that even Schlatt has fallen victim to. But then he goes and says shit like this and Schlatt remembers he’s just infuriating and attractive. A sad combination of traits that Ted was strangely gifted, because Schlatt has to deal with Ted’s annoying ass in order to experience the way Ted can fit himself into the nerves in Schlatt’s body, making it so that anything Schlatt does it’s because Ted’s done something to him to get that reaction.

It’s frustrating how Ted can be so charming but so enraging.

Schlatt never turns away from it either, maybe that’s even worse than Ted’s personality. Because Schlatt always dips into it as he rolls his eyes.

“Is twenty better for you?” He asks, half joking. Actually he’s not joking. “If I look at one more camera can we leave?”

“That and a why ,” Ted states and internally Schlatt’s stomach swirls at the thought of admitting all of these fresh new ideas that have been swarming in his head. Telling Ted all of it? Confessing that maybe he’s starting to go a little too far and he can’t help it. It makes him bite his tongue as Ted glances at him. “I have a guess that you’re jealous because these cameras are actually perfect compared to yours, I’ve seen it, dude, yours sucks.”

Schlatt doesn’t even have it in him anywhere to be mildly offended at the jab. His camera is actually gorgeous, and captures the best of him. So he ignores that in favor of choosing to stall Ted for an answer as he contemplates whether or not he should drop any of it into words, like speaking it is somehow far worse than the thoughts existing in his head. Which, yeah, one could argue that, but Schlatt has yet to convince himself that these thoughts are bad , hell, they keep revisiting him because he’s is finding more and more to shine light at in this thoughts, he’s already confessed in his head that yes, he does want to see him and Ted together.

“My camera is great,” Schlatt argues, and when Ted denies it with a lift of his brows in a manner that wordlessy conveys an okay pal , Schlatt glares at him. Of course, though, Ted is quick to dismiss any of his resentment and simply urges for Schlatt to answer his question. As in, to give him the why. Which, well, Schlatt doesn’t know what Ted would say. Or if it’s even something he should be worrying about. Maybe telling Ted does nothing, maybe it leads to nowhere, so maybe it will all be fine.

The placing of this confession, however, is not ideal. He knows, it’s a little ironic, he’s tripping over the idea of cameras centered on him and Ted, but when it comes to opening his mouth and saying something about it in front of cameras, that’s where he feels like he can’t take another step.

To be fair, how even does he word it? Schlatt realizes he doesn’t even exactly know a good way to verbalize it.

“Let’s just get out of here,” He suggests instead and okay, maybe he’s a bit too eager to walk back through the front door of Ted’s place and get the man to undress him. But it’s Ted, and he purposefully leaves a hand lingering on his arm for a second longer, he does a whole bunch of shit. How is Schlatt supposed to not want anything after all of it?

Ted, as per, does not understand this, and simply shrugs. “You just hate answering whatever I ask you.”

“Because you ask stupid questions. I was looking at the cameras because they were looking at me,” Schlatt lies, then realizes as soon as he says it that it’s stupid, and he holds a hand over his face with a shake of his head and a hidden smile when Ted glances at him with confusion. He sighs, shoulders slumping, posture curving inwards. “Look, man, you can’t keep doing what you’re doing then question me when I think something of it.”

As in, how the hell does Ted get to keep leaving drifting touches and glances and then get to wonder why Schlatt may be eager to leave this place.

Now, yes, the cameras are slightly altering something around in his brain, and he knows leaving takes away whatever emotion the devices induce into Schlatt’s bloodstream and plague his mind with the thought of seeing Ted and himself together, on something tangible. But that’s alright, he supposes, to leave it behind without ever figuring out what it meant anyway. Plus, there’s a camera at Ted’s place-

Holy shit. Wait.

There’s a camera at Ted’s place.

Schlatt thinks he gets it now.

What the eyes on him does, why it makes him wonder what it looks like when Ted kisses him. Jesus, he’s weird, isn’t he? Or maybe not because Schlatt is starting to be blinded by how hot this new realization is.

They have a camera, and Schlatt wants Ted to fuck him right now, but he also wants to see it.

Schlatt’s face goes hot and he ignores looking at Ted’s face in favor of pulling out his phone and opening their messages. He is not about to say this outloud. He is willing to risk any judgement right now because chances are Ted’s probably into similar stuff that Schlatt is, maybe that’s part of the reason why the first time was, to put it simply, very good.

In a rush, Schlatt quickly types out his offer with rushed taps on his screen, biting his cheek harshly and instantly the visions of it are coming to him already. His eyes flicker up to Ted for a moment, which clues the man in on what he’s done, so following, Ted retrieves his phone too.

Schlatt waits, body tense but holy crap he actually sent it.

There, on his screen, it’s right there. ‘ What if we recorded us ’. It taunts him, which it shouldn’t, he sent it himself. But internally his guts tangle in knots, emotionally representing a cartoon character chewing anxiously on their nails like crazy.

It doesn't take long at all for Ted to connect the dots of the puzzle, each dot being laid down by Schlatt himself as he figures it out.

Schlatt can see the exact moment when Ted picks up on it, can see the flash of surprise in his eyes like he's accidentally opened up a dick pic, looking a little scandalized, and it's gone just as quick as it was there. Then his face settles, features worming into something of interest, Schlatt might say, and it makes his chest bloom.

“Really?” Ted asks out loud, and Schlatt likes the way he sounds like the oxygen in his lungs is starting to pack its things to leave. It makes Schlatt wonder what it would sound like once they got back, once Ted's body was truly chasing after the air as it ran away, what it sounds like when the man is breathless .

Schlatt swallows thickly, as if the action will help him regain his self control, and he nods. “Yeah,” He says, then nods again. “Yeah, man, I mean, if you want.”

It’s silent for a moment and the two just stand there, Schlatt isn’t even capable of feeling awkward about it because his head is trying to conjure up all the possibilities.

Then, Ted shuts his phone off and tucks it back in his pocket and clears his throat, making Schlatt’s eyes snap back on him.

“Yes.” Is all Ted says.

“Yes?”

“Yes as in I would want to,” Ted clarifies, and his eyes keep looking around the damn building and he keeps tapping a finger on top of the back of his other hand and it’s perfect, really, because he’s so obviously interested and Schlatt can’t help but smile a little.

“Good.”

“Nobody here would probably miss us, Schlatt.” Ted starts and instantly Schlatt understands what he’s implying and he hops into the boat before Ted even has it set out in the harbor. So of course when Ted pats his shoulder briefly, Schlatt feels the warmth of his palm spread all throughout his body and he eagerly follows Ted as the man waves. “So I guess we could just get out of here, as you said.”

Thank fuck, man, Schlatt thinks in his head, he had no idea how much longer he could handle the playlist that was playing throughout the building, it was torturous. Of course, that isn’t the only reason, but when Ludwig, who seems to finally catch them again the moment they’re leaving, asks why they’re headed out so soon, he makes sure to complain about the music and not mention how he just couldn’t wait too long to get fucked by the one and only Ted Nivision. Which he thinks would be embarrassing to admit, not only unprompted and too personal, so he doesn’t say it, and it’s the only reason he lets Ted get away with saying he has to leave with Schlatt because he quote on quote ‘needs to be supervised’.

Schlatt’s pretty sure Ted was only born the year before him, so he’s practically as much of a mature and grown man as Ted is, so there is no need for any supervision.

But Schlatt can’t actually care, not right now anyway, because they’re headed back to Ted’s place and he is buzzing with anticipation.

Which serves its time well when finally the two of them are crossing through door frames. Ted closes the door and locks it behind the two of them, and just when Schlatt is about to turn around and ask how they would want to go about all of it, Ted just kisses Schlatt.

Surprised, but not ever unwelcomed. Schlatt kisses back and it’s like getting deja vu almost, except he’s not in the kitchen right now and it’s not the first time Ted’s lips have pressed against his own before. However, the rush of it all remains as Schlatt pushes a hand on Ted’s shoulder, bringing some space in between them with only a little reluctance towards his own actions, and he breathes.

“Camera?”

Ted’s eyes shine with what is just purely excitement, he’s curious, he’s suddenly hooked to the idea as much as Schlat as. He’s into it. It’s marvelous.

“I’ll grab it.”

So now Schlatt’s here, sitting across the bed from Ted as they discuss how this will work in general. Ted’s got the camera set up, they’ve got themselves, which is all they really need, Schlatt decides. When the camera is recording and Ted’s looming over him, Schlatt already knows he’s in over his head.

“Hey,” Ted says, a simple hey, and somehow that is enough to allow Schlatt ease into the space between them, to let himself have this as Ted’s thumbs fleet underneath his hoodie, beyond his t-shirt, and dip into his stomach. Maybe it’s too soft considering what they’re both here waiting for, or maybe because the way it’s once again virtually tender, all like before, should maybe warrant a second thought to be given by Schlatt or even Ted.

But it apparently doesn’t and the way Ted suggests Schlatt remove his shirt is something that is so easily comparable to gentle, it practically stifles how suggestive the action should really be.

Schlatt’s eyes wander off to the camera, and his cheeks prickle with heat, knowing that as he slides off his clothing there’s a shot of each second of it, knowing that it’ll be the same for Ted, who starts to lift up the brim of his shirt, pausing halfway and giving Schlatt a sideways glance.

“Are you having second guesses?”

Schlatt blinks, looking up at Ted and nearly rolling his eyes. “Of course not,” He supplies but he supposes he can see where Ted is coming from. It’s just- his brain was riding this train for so long to get to this moment, to this destination, and now that he’s here it hits him with the full force of a bus and he can’t help it when his mind sucks him in. But by no means does he not want this.

So they continue, and that of course means Ted is kissing him again.

It’s less delicate, more of the impatience really starts to set into the soil and fuels the seed that sprouts deep in Schlatt’s core, growing out with searching vines that can not wait to see the sun that is Ted, leaves built from desperation and roots formed from his desires. His hands finally are no longer denied the wanton urge to roam over Ted, fingertips dancing across shoulders and palms pressing flat against chests.

There’s that whirring pleasant thrill that keeps chill in the back of his head, aware that there is a camera capturing almost every moment of it, of this. As Ted presses Schlatt back against the bed enough to make sit back down on the sheets, and shamelessly spread his hands across Schlatt’s thighs, trying to press contact to as much of the fat of his thighs as he can, like he can’t get enough of the way his thumbs effortlessly dig into the soft plush of it, pointer fingers sliding underneath the lining of his shorts.

All while he kisses him senseless. It’s a very in character thing for Ted to do, Schlatt proposes.

The camera is somewhere off to Schlatt’s right, positioned far enough from the bed that it can capture the majority of the piece of furniture, and slightly angled so it records mostly from a side view, but just so that one could partially see the back of Ted’s head and half of Schlatt’s face. That is, of course, until it’s obscured from anyone’s view as Schlatt lifts his hoodie and shirt over his head.

Schlatt starts to love this idea even more, because he’s too busy trying to rush down his shorts to see Ted’s face, which makes him realize if he ever watches it he could see all of it. Almost all of it at least. He feels pleasantly dizzy at the thought and the hands Ted already has on his hips, the world spinning faster than he can comprehend the fact that he’s entirely naked, bare and layed out for Ted, who is annoyingly still dressed. It’s far too much clothing, Schlatt decides, and verbalizes such.

“Ted,” He starts, and maybe the only bit he won’t like is hearing his voice back, because all on his own he can feel embarrassed by how his voice waves, something born of desperation choking his throat when he speaks. And Ted hears it every time, so knowing that right now the camera can pick it up too, and that Ted could just replay it-

It might be humiliating. So Schlatt has no idea why his dick twitches at the thought. Jeez, he hasn’t figured out anything it seems, sexually speaking.

He ignores that for now and gesture to Ted’s figure. “You wanna hurry up or what?”

“Christ,” Ted whispers in complaint, yet it sounds a little too on the verge of unraveling for it too purely be a jab at Schlatt’s urge to rush. “You can’t be a little patient?”

Schlatt rolls his eyes, but thankfully that doesn’t affect the outcome and Ted moves to rid himself of his clothes. “Don’t say that like you’re a thousand times better.”

Ted chuckles at that and Schlatt watches, eyes not even considering looking away as Ted fumbles with the button on his pants.

“Maybe not a thousand,” Ted says with a hum, and he sends Schlatt a wink that is most certainly cringey. Not attractive. Schlatt doesn’t find it hot in the slightest.

At least, he says he doesn’t. Not that anyone is arguing with him over the topic. But just in case, he has at least four points to go over to deny that no he is not in fact claiming Ted is attractive. He’s all but annoying. (Try not to lie challenge, failed.)

He’s annoying when he’s finally as exposed and bare as Schlatt, lifting a knee to the bed and leaning forward to kiss him feverishly.

The camera would capture it, he wonders if it looks the way he imagines. A little awkward and imperfect, eagerness spilling out of them, and maybe the lenses would be able to render the full extent of how Ted presses their lips together fiercely, simply never enough, like it’s possible to become one singular person and maybe that’s his aim.

The next thing that could prove that is the position he ends up in, because of course Ted with his smug smiles yet promising kisses across Schlatt’s shoulder were all just tactics to trick him into where he is now, being fingered in a way where the camera can see it, and it’s filthy, really. It’s absolutely horrendous, Schlatt can’t believe him as he starts to figure it out, realizing where he is relative to the camera. It’s awful. Awful and terrible and fuck, maybe it’s hotter than he’d like it to be. Because when he feels a finger circle around, against his rim, he knows the camera isn’t having a single issue to capture it as Ted crooks his finger up inside of him.

Which Schlatt thinks he shouldn’t find so… thrilling is unfortunately the word. He likes it. After all, he suggested it. But he didn’t- it’s not-

Okay. Shit. He had no idea Ted would also be this into it where the man would be like this, incorporating the camera as much as possible, shifting Schlatt around to make sure he’ll be able to see everything later. It’s the only thing that stops him from complaining when Ted’s finger leaves him. Because Ted going back and seeing all this?

The thought of that, of Ted watching their film of complete filth, it spurs on some twisting and twirling in his stomach, core tightening and his head spinning as Ted prods two fingers in, without a single warning, and makes Schlatt’s composure start to crumble over in a similar way to how Schlatt’s elbows fumble, nearly landing himself face down in the sheets.

“Fuck-” He curses, then scrambles to pick himself back up. “You. Fuck you.”

Ted doesn’t supply him with any verbal answer, almost making Schlatt grimace with the thought that Ted’s trying to be all dismissive and unaffected, as if Schlatt hadn’t seen his eyes get glazed over with stirring excitement, or his eagerly searching hands as he fixed up the camera like if he doesn’t go fast enough the opportunity slips away.

It hadn’t, the opportunity is in fact now reality so Schlatt hates how Ted acts almost akin to nonchalant like he isn’t faced with a whirlwind of desires and ready to jump into the deep and dangerous end to find em.

It pisses off Schlat a little, annoys him a pinch, and somehow all of that translates into the physical expression where Schlatt tries to somehow leverage his hips and elbows on the bed so he can effectively shift down on Ted’s fingers. Now, it doesn’t seem like something somebody does when frustrated with somebody, but well, he feels more horny than upset, and he thinks that’s sorta muddling up the way it shows through his actions.

Schlatt has to bite his tongue, sparks of arousal and welcomed pleasure jolting straight up his spine at the bluntness of it, Ted’s fingertips pouring some metaphorical boiling water with each touch, swipe, and graze. And this- this , is what always starts to drive Schlatt crazy. Because Ted encourages it all, shamelessly condoning how desparte Schlatt gets for it, trying to hold his breath to stop himself from letting out this punched out gasp when Ted daringly spreads his fingers, scissoring him. That’s what he’s doing, the menace.

It’s all so much, but never too much, maybe not even enough. And throughout all of it, Schlatt’s mind makes up the false responsibility of periodically making sure he’s still at least distantly aware of the camera, reassuring that he is in fact capable of feeling that unfamiliar sprout of twists in his gut, heat pooling around, because the more and more Schlatt thinks about it the more the idea turns him on, the more he finds it insanely hot, him and Ted and the signal that indicates it’s recording, that it’s capturing all of this as Ted absently traces his other hand down the curve of Schlatt’s hip.

It’s when Ted’s fingers slip out of him, and Schlatt let’s out a heavy sigh, that Ted suddenly leans over and kisses Schlatt’s hip bone when the other’s trying to better his stance and stable out, breath uneven. Schlatt has to squint to focus, and even more so when Ted fully moves, shuffling on the bed to kiss Schlatt’s shoulderblade next, his hand trailing down his spine in that way that makes him falter, back arching due to the unexpected feeling, and Ted hums, “You ready, big boy?”

Schlatt nearly responds with an impatient yes, but chokes on his words at the absurd nickname, and he tries to twist his body halfway around to send a glare at Ted, but the man goes to shake his head, all to fast he has a hand at the side of Schlatt’s face, making him face forward again.

“You’ll see later,” He says, as in when he watches the video. Because apparently Ted is entirely confident that it will be when and not if. It’s not what Schlatt was going to look back for, but he supposes it doesn’t matter, because he can still use his mouth for actual words instead of the needy sounds he has been battling to suppress.

“Whatever,” He grumbles. “Just don’t call me that.”

“What?” Ted asks, for a second, he genuinely isn’t connecting a single dot that sits right in front of him. Quickly though, it comes to him and Schlatt hates how he can somehow hear the way Ted’s lips pull up, into a cheeky smile, and he leans over Schlatt, slightly encasing him, and with one arm against Schlatt’s slide, holding Ted up along with his knees, Ted lets his other hand drift up the bare of Schlatt’s ribs, then up, at his chest, and-

And breezes past his nipple, purposely lingering for only a moment longer, but to the point where Schlatt can almost pass it as nothing if he didn’t know better. But he’s starting to know better, actually, so he knows Ted’s intentful with it, knows the man’s playing around when he comes back, circling and, well, shit.

“ Ted. ”

“Uh-huh, Schlatt?”

God, that’s so unfair. Schlatt huffs, gritting his teeth for a moment and closing his eyes like it reduces the amount of embarrassment when he backs up against Ted, ass against Ted’s thighs. It does nothing to help, but he can’t help it, and lets out a shaky breath as Ted deconstructs him touch by touch. He’ll probably go until Schlatt’s all simple-minded and desperate. He bets that’s what Ted’s striving for, bets he’d like to see that. And really, Schlatt can’t oppose the thought.

“Why don’t you hurry up,” He suggests, and yes it’s purely a suggestion. He may be on the verge of needy but he isn’t some demanding brat like Ted had called him last time, the words so crystal clear in his head, echoing back and piercing through some barrier and spreading this fluttering heat throughout him as he urges Ted on. “By the time you’re done strolling the camera’s gonna be dead.”

“Relax,” Ted says instead, making Schlatt’s brows furrow with slight disappointment. The other withdraws his hands, leaving Schlatt untouched and for far too long, empty. “It’s fully charged, which means we can take out time.”

“Doesn’t mean we have to,” Schlatt notes and Ted pats the side of Schlatt’s thigh.

“Ah, see you are just so impatient,” Ted muses, pressing his thumb into the flesh and breathing in, and Schlatt can only wonder why the hell this man’s taking so long. It’s infuriating.

“Ted,” He groans out of annoyance, and so what, possibly impatience. He can search around and he doesn’t think he’ll find even a sliver of him truly and genuinely caring, not right now, not when Ted had previously just asked if he was ready, as in- as in ready for him .

It makes him feel near dizzy, makes his heart hiccup unprofessionally, and blurs bits of his brain where the fine lines should be, where the dos and don'ts are made visible, where the light shines on a bulleted list of things he should avoid saying, whether it be to save his dignity, or to not ruin the moment. It’s all becoming a jumble though, so it’s not as effective, and he ends up with his body stilled for a moment, mind processing thoughts it shouldn’t be, and then he twists around suddenly, blinking up at Ted, and he furrows his brows.

“Kiss me first,” He says, and this wasn’t supposed to be happening because of the big empty title that defines whatever this is that they’re doing. It’s not dating, definitely not dating. It’s this confusing, nameless thing, one that Schlatt had repeatedly thought wasn’t anything but two friends fucking around, based on Ted. He based it all on Ted, examined his facial expressions, even the man’s body language, and came to the conclusion that they both were happy with it not having to be overly tender and meaningful, even if each passing day it means more and more to Schlatt. It’s something he can ignore, so that’s why he feels a bit uneasy asking for such a request, almost like they’re lovers. Because they aren’t. They are what you would call friends with benefits, and when they do ‘benefit’ it’s without all these heavy and conflicting emotions that Schlatt swats away and neglects in favor of anxiously waiting for Ted’s response.

Thankfully, for whatever reason, it seems today won’t be the day he has to face any of it, because Ted doesn’t seem to question it at all, can’t see how Schlatt is mentally tiptoeing across lines he had told himself he shouldn’t cross. Which is good, it’s great, and the moment Ted’s lips press against his, all worries fly out the window, gone, gone, and he’s more than okay with that.

It brings him back, forces himself out of his mind and into his body more, where Ted’s weight on him feels thrilling again, where he is losing it because Ted, for the life of him it seems, cannot get his hand away from Schlatt’s thighs. Even in the odd angle they’ve settled in, his hand squeezes, and Schlatt huffs, breathless, in response, tilting his face away and trying not to give away how much it sends his head spinning.

“Okay, now, you,” He starts, moving back around, back to their original positioning, and he sighs at the absence of straining in his spine, and forgets what he was going to say when Ted sets his hands on his hips and takes it upon himself to bring Schlatt a little closer. It has Schlatt pausing, even anything close to resembling a coherent thought process dashing out of their, and leaving him to fumble a little as Ted shifts around.

“Alright, big boy-”

“Dont,” Schlatt warns, but everything about it falls short, and it’s probably blaringly obvious to Ted how it lacks any bite behind it, how it’s not a warning at all. So, of course, Ted just carries on.

He continues, distantly notes something about Schlatt being all talk, which Schlatt could pull out many different pieces of evidence that prove Ted is just factually wrong, always will be maybe, at least, Schlat likes to think so for his own benefit, because who doesn’t want to be the one that’s correct.

Maybe not Ted, actually, because he’s wrong for the way he teases Schlatt before pushing in, before he’s actually inside of Schlatt, and he can feel the spread of Ted’s dick.

Which, he remembers, is being recorded from a distance as Ted’s grip falters a little, and his hands come to the sheets, arms caging in Schlatt’s body, and Ted ends up above him again just like last time, and Schlatt cannot win against the full and pleasured sound that tears itself out form his throat when Ted’s hips meet him, and he hears Ted’s breath escape in a small gasp before he sucks the air back in, and Schlatt can feel the action aloofly on his back.

Now he really, really wonders what this will look like on camera, so unfortunately Ted isn’t always wrong, because he’s right, Schlatt is gonna watch it, he can’t say no. This obsessive part of his mind that started it all is just itching to know, in some twisted and weird way, what it looks like- what Ted looks like when he dares to pull out, leaving Schlatt to furrow his brows with disapproval, only to push back in, making the man below him let out a moan and scramble to grasp onto the sheets in hope for some sort of anchor.

Each move is like a wave of its own, treading backwards almost like Schlatt’s gonna be left, but crashing forward with full force, washing over him, pleasure flooding through his veins, stomach twisting as he soaks all of it up. He wishes to be impossibly entangled with Ted and this mess of limbs, desire, and approaching ecstasy because Ted is unfairly good, and he’s always and forever Ted , and whether Schlatt dares to admit it or not, that’s greatly adding to the effect of it all and causing a big portion of himself to lose it at the hand of the bliss that he chases for. The one that has him panting against the bed, breathes muffled in fabric before he tilts his head to reel in oxygen, which gives him enough air to let out a whine that haunts him with humiliation just as much as it did the first time he had slipped and Ted heard him.

To try and prolong any sort of response Ted might have, Schlatt elects on meeting the movement of his hips and pushing back on Ted, biting down on his tongue and hissing for a second as a sharp sting combined with a sudden jolt of gratification shoots up, and he allows his eyes to close as Ted, who is incredibly shameless, groans, and Schlatt can sorta see the way one of his hands clench into a fist. Which is perfect, because whenever Ted tries to act unbothered it ends up getting on Schlatt’s nerves. So this - well this is great.

“You’re a bit-” Ted starts, cutting himself off with a huff, one of his hands shifting upwards with the force of it all, almost like he could nearly slip, but he braces himself, and acts like it’s Sclatt’s fault as he drags out the roll of his hips, making him wait only seconds more. “A bit of a brat.”

Schlatt tries to think of a smart, possibly witty remark, who knows, but his thoughts crumble at the agonizing feel of it all, and when he tries once more to push back, Ted has suddenly found the gravity and balance to rather just settle on his knees, hands coming up to stop Schlatt, and leaving him almost empty inside. So instead of quipping back the way he wants, he lets out a very disappointed and low moan, opting on shaking his head as best as he can, hair a mess.

“Not.” He denies, and maybe if he wasn’t just being fucked moments ago he could’ve come up with something better.

Ted hums in disagreement, and Schlatt jolts at the sudden feeling of Ted’s hand sifting through the curls of his hair, wondering when Ted changed stances. But then, oh wait, he remembers, and attempts to hide his face in the bed because of how the action renders blush on his face.

He clasps his hands together above his head, elbows digging into the material of Ted’s sheets, and forces himself not to comment on the sudden sentiment of Ted running his fingers through his hair, making him only a smidge less upset about his decision to abruptly stop fucking him.

There’s still a good bit of resentment, though, so he makes what is supposed to be a properly annoyed grunt, and bumps his shoulders up, as if shaking off Ted.

“You’re supposed to be doing something else right now,” He supplies, lifting his head up. Ted’s hand follows, though, his other still intentionally holding his hip.

“Bossy,” Ted lazily declares, then grips onto Schlatt’s curls and tugs only a little, which catches him off guard a bit. “I want you up, Schlatt, stop kissin the blanket.”

“Not,” Schlatt repeats, firm this time, defiant, because it’s true. He’s not. But he does need this, needs the arched posture, the slope of his back just so he can hide his face and try and limit what Ted and the camera hear, for his own sake, and what, does Ted not like it? He does, at least, he does because it saves him from knowing that Ted hears every single sound he makes. So he hesitates, not making any sign to move or listen. Instead, he eyes the bed like somehow that will get him closer. “Why?”

“Because you’re hiding,” Ted comments, which is just blatantly unfair how Ted can make such an observation and be right about it, that should be Schlatt being correct all the time, at least he thought so. “The camera can’t see any of it.”

Right, right, the camera. Schlatt attempts to shrug, to say he isn’t the one who put the camera there, at an angle where it couldn't capture Schlatt’s face, but as soon as he says the words ‘ i’m not the one ’ Ted brings his head up for him, and the way it pulls on his hair leaves a distant sting, and Schlatt chokes with hints of surprise and honestly, what’s probably arousal, because he hates how he doesn’t find himself hating it. Like part of him should hate being manhandled, should’ve hated it the first time, too, but he let it happen, so now it only progresses, and still there is yet to be a part of him that can’t stand it. If anything, he likes it, which should be bad, but it’s Ted, he’s the one handling him and moving him around, so when a small buzz in his brain says it’s nice, he simply doesn’t argue against it.

Instead, his breath hitches, having to move to his hands rather than his elbows to equate for the new position. “ Fuck , what the fuck, Ted?”

“Nothing,” Ted says, which is a lie, then let's go. “Stay like that.”

He doesn’t know if he’ll actually be able to, but he doesn’t say no, doesn’t even say anything, just agrees to it silently. He had been knocked down to his elbows because of Ted’s choice to pry two fingers into him without notice, so he isn’t confident here. But he tries to be, questions the phrase ‘fake it till you make it’, and waits as Ted finds Schlatt’s urge to carry on satisfying enough, and steadies his hands on Schlatt’s hips, and pushes in again.

The feeling of it grows familiar, so it allows space in Schlatt’s head to acknowledge the fact that he’ll be able to look back on that, maybe try and squint at Ted’s face through the screen, and wonder where his head was during that, because it was certainly something, which has left Schlatt unbearably hard, and aching for the way Ted’s touch burns him no matter where, even Ted’s knees, that are settled against Schlatt’s calves, even that results in the flooding warmth that devours him, bringing him closer and closer to the edge up ahead.

He wants it, actually, wants it bad and also wants to see at least some of Ted’s face, but turning around would be a massive and uncomfortable challenge, a strain, really, and so he is keen on getting to see it, maybe before Ted does, possibly. He wonders if Ted would notice if he cuts bits of it out that Schlatt thinks he doesn’t look good in, the ones that leave him wincing with second-hand embarrassment because of his own actions.

Unless, maybe, that’s part of what Ted wants to see. It’s extremely likely, Schlatt has been learning that recently, that Ted doesn’t even seem to comfort Schlatt when feelings of humiliation creep of on him and loom over, in fact, it seems like Ted thrives in it, because he likes to see it, because for whatever shitty excuse Ted could hypothetically formulate, he enjoys it when Schlatt is scrambling to come back from it, enjoys watching Schlatt squirm and it’s fucking terrible. Which makes sense because Ted is a massive jerk, to put it simply and blandly, he’s an idiot, too. One that Schlatt has been cursed to go crazy over, of course, because the world must just love him, it loves him so much it tortures him with Ted’s presence, having to withstand all of his antics just to feel the way Ted thrusts into him, and even now, he’s insufferable in bits and pieces, keeping Schlatt on his toes.

Schlatt is on the brink of completely falling apart here, his head is spinning, the air is unbelievably warm and he can’t seem to get enough of it, either, as he breathes in only to have it all fall back out with a loud and increasingly mindless moan or whine, as he occasionally meets Ted with it, lets himself drown in the pleasure of it all.

Embarrassingly so, he is thinking of the camera again, side by side with Ted, of course, when he is babbling out to the other that he’s close, that he is, and that he needs it.

Which in the moment, he means it, he needs this, needs Ted, but if the other were to ever bring it up again about how he said such, he’s going to say he was only playing into a role, of course, and that he was purposefully being dramatic.

He has a feeling that Ted will see through the lie, however.

But then, he realizes he has something of his own to hang over Ted’s head, too, when the other cusses once or twice, and gives him a notice before allowing himself to feel that same bliss that Schlatt has been running after this whole time, and it’s on the verge of exhilarating with the way Schlatt can say he lasted longer then Ted, as he feels it, and his whole body practically stutters.

But Ted keeps going, and Schlatt quickly realizes it’s because Schlatt himself hasn’t came, not like Ted has. It sends him reeling, something akin to consideration in Ted’s actions that has him quickly losing it, just barely there. Schlatt is rambling on and running his mouth because he simply can’t help it, Ted relishes in it, blooms in it, even, and once again Schlatt finds himself melting at Ted’s words, because of course the man is encouraging this on, is letting Schlatt unravel at his hands and claim that he’s doing a good job at it, too.

It makes Schlatt sick with how virtually sweet it all is, every vowel running to his head and molding his heart like pudding, and it leaves him unwinding as he finishes, he’s incomprehensible, not speaking sensical when he reaches the high, crashing back down at max speed, and he hangs his head, still muttering nonsense about it all even as Ted eventually pulls out and smooths his hand over Schlatt’s hip, almost trying to coax him into relaxing, and Ted lets out a breathy laugh.

“I have no idea what you’re saying,” He says, and honestly, Schlatt doesn’t either, but it consists a lot of a lot about how he hates Ted’s nicknames and how the camera is… well, the camera just is , because a big portion of it was just trying to find a word to describe all of it, the camera and Ted and how Ted was ridiculous enough to agree to it, to like it, and how Schlatt was even more ridiculous for suggesting it.

Schlatt’s brain is basically fried at this point, and he blames Ted, nothing truly makes sense as he rides the wave that’s slowly mellowing out. Ted must sense some of the loss of thought, must’ve, because he maneuvers around so he can sit better, next to Schlatt, and somebody can look and tell that his limbs feel heavy, he’s spent, and Schlatt tries to focus on it so he can make a comment about it, but finds himself dropping down on the bed as his body gives in, slowly lowering himself, then quickly avoiding the mess on the towel they had set up before this, Schlatt had forget about it. And then he’s on his back, exhaustion slowly crawling up his spine, as he looks up at Ted and frowns.

“What?”

Schlatt looks away, around the room. “We’re a mess.”

Ted snorts, like it’s funny, and maybe it is, but as the high of it wears off, Schlatt finds it a little gross. Ted ultimately agrees, though, and sighs heavily, waiting a couple seconds before shifting off the bed, Schlatt watches, curiously, as Ted trudges over to the camera, and stops the recording, and Schlatt wonders if they’ll actually edit bits of it out, or if it’s better just to keep it as one whole run, no cuts. He, of course, also wonders if Ted is going to wait to watch it. Maybe, for now, he won’t, but when Schlatt leaves and they're in separate states, he’ll pull it out, able to see Schlatt and the way he was terribly ruined in the best way.

Instead of any sort of answer to his mostly rhetorical question, he is greeted with Ted handing him a warm and wet hand towel, swiping away the one laying on the bed, before he tosses it somewhere towards his laundry, and groans as he plops down on the bed.

“I told you you’re bossy,” Ted says, but it’s not teasing or as expressed as before, rather, his voice is almost like he’s just accepting it, and Schlatt hates how his ears tell his brain it sounds like Ted finds it endearing, like when he thinks of Schlatt, he’s the type of person to smile fondly when he says Schlatt’s bossy. Like he’s more than okay with it, and finds it so unmistakable Schlatt.

It’s almost unbearable, so Schlatt doesn’t say anything in return, and shifts his shoulders upwards as he turns to himself.

Ted isn’t a fan of that, though, and nudges Schlatt’s calf with his foot. It's a strange little thing, but many things are with Ted.

“You know, I think we still have some pizza ice cream-”

“Hell no,” Schlatt instantly downvotes the idea, he doesn’t know why Ted didn’t just throw it away, they both thought it was morbidly disgusting. Ted is just chuckling at him, amused, and Schlatt finds it in himself to smile too, and thwacks Ted with his arm before it falls across Ted’s bare chest. “Never again, Ted.”

Ted sighs, deciding not to argue against it any further, because the truth is they both know neither of them are willing to eat it again. “Alright, well, I could just order actual pizza, then?”

Schlatt thinks about it with a hum, staring up at the ceiling, then clicks his tongue when he comes to a final opinion, rolling slightly over to face Ted, attempting to look serious. “Make it a normal sized pizza this time, and get all the shit I like.”

When Ted only nods, it sorta makes Schlatt think about how, even beyond this, beyond the shit they’ve gotten up to these last days that Schlatt would have never foreseen- beyond all the benefits bit, they are friends, good ones, too, and he tries not to blur the lines between the two and remember Ted knows everything he likes on a pizza because some friends just know that, and Ted’s probably memorized at least four other people’s favorite toppings (or lack thereof), and whether or not they would dare mess with thin crusted pieces or not, because some people really don’t like those. Ted probably knows it all, because he has lots of other friends, and Schlatt has to remind himself not to put his own name on some platter just because he’s been getting increasingly physical with the man.

It’s a strange string of thoughts that have woven themselves together in his head, ones that he himself isn’t too fond of, so he’s thankful for the way Ted pats his thigh, cuffs his knee, and effectively yanks him out of his head.

“We probably shouldn’t answer the door naked,” He says, and he’s joking with the probably, because they absolutely shouldn’t do that and Schlatt can see in Ted’s eyes that he’s thinking such. That would be indecent, he thinks. So he lets Ted fish for his phone, long forgotten somewhere, so he can order some pizza, and Schlatt forces himself out of the bed and tosses Ted some of his clothes.

Then, he squints down at his hoodie, and feels far too preoccupied to care for it, he needs his energy to eat, anyways, so who needs it. “Hopefully you don’t mind my shirtlessness.”

“I don’t think that’s a word,” Ted proposes, and glances back for a moment. “And you should know I don’t, dummy.”

“I’m not-”

“Do you know where I put my phone?” Ted asks instead, apparently choosing to cut Schlatt off and ignore the pout on his face as he lifts up a folder on his desk, finding nothing underneath, then pulls up his pants unceremoniously. “Can’t find it.”

“It’s not mine,” is all Schlatt offers him, glaring for a second until Ted sees it, shakes his head and looks away, then Schlatt can move onto cleaning himself up properly and dressing himself, save for the exception of a shirt, he doesn’t need one right now.

So that’s how twenty minutes later the two are stuffing their faces with slices upon slices of pizza on Ted’s couch, watching some brainless show that neither of them are fully invested in at all. Schlatt is shirtless, of course, he wasn’t kidding, and when he gets sauce on his his skin and Ted tries to make fun of him, he simply states that it’s easier than trying to remove a stain from a shirt, and finally Ted lets him have the win with a shrug and ‘whatever, fair enough’.

It’s silent for a few seconds, Schlatt is trying to figure out what the hell is happening on the television screen, and is momentarily blinded when a flash of light showers over him, then disappears almost instantly.

He whips his head around only to see Ted with his phone pointed directly at him.

“Dang, flash was on,” Ted complains, and Schlatt makes sure to swallow before allowing the laugh to fall out of him lest he chokes.

“What are you doing? The hell ya taking a picture for?”

Ted suddenly chooses the ‘mysterious attempt’ path and tucks his phone away and shrugs. “Seriously nothing man,” He says and quickly makes sure to add onto it when he sees Schlatt’s unimpressed look. “You’ve got pizza guts on your face, that’s all. I thought it was funny .”

Schlatt lifts the back of his finger to wipe across his face, and there’s a small dot of cheese resting on his cheek, nothing else, so he remains silently suspicious as he hums. “No more pictures, I look fuckin wrecked.”

“Fine, fine,” Ted says plainly, raising his hands almost in defense, but accepts the terms anyways, and faces the TV, so Schlatt does too. It manages to be silent only for a minute, before Ted taps Schlatt’s knee.

“I’ll send you a copy.”

Schlatt almost asks what that even means, but before the words come out he realizes what he meant. Which, obviously, duh, he doesn’t know why he didn't think of it first thing. It stirs something in his stomach and makes his face warm as he nods. “Okay.” Then a couple seconds later. “Are we-” He cringes. “Are we editin anything on it or what?”

“Wasn’t planning to.” Ted answers, then peeps over at him. “Why?’

Maybe because Schlatt thinks some bits are probably too embarrassing to keep in.

“Just checkin,” He offers instead, thinking about how Ted probably loves those bits, because he’s a full-time menace. Ted looks him up and down, debating his words, then nods.

“Alright. Well, I guess you can do whatever you want with your, er, copy,” He tells Schlatt, and the other catches onto how Ted tries to bite his lip for a second, eyes shifting around like he’s just a tiny pinch nervous when he says it, but then shrugs it off as he breathes in. “I’m just leaving it as is, though.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Schlatt turns away, heat rising up, bursting from his chest and up his neck. He just knew Ted wasn’t going to cut anything out, or change anything. And for some reason hearing confirmation of that makes his skin prickle with warmth and his head inflate.

“Okay,” He says quietly, blinking over at Ted for only a second. “I’ll do that too, then.”

A beat pauses, and then Schlatt can hear the faint of Ted’s smile.

“Good,” Ted says, and Schlatt doesn’t let himself obsess over what any of it means, and just watches scene after scene play out on the screen, and takes another bite of his pizza.

He’ll say it’s an unsolved puzzle how the two of them ended up squished together on a couch that could fit more than five people, shoulders pressing up against one another like they could totally melt into one person. It’s a total mystery.

#smut #fanfic #mlm smut #ted x schlatt #schlatt x ted #ted nivison #schlatt #schlatt smut #ted nivision smut #cameracapturedseries #smut fic

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twistafr · 1 year ago

Text

How Many Andrew Jackson's Will It Take

yet another tedxschlatt smut fic i wrote This is part one of a series of oneshots :D

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,755 Summary: Schlatt wants to prove to Ted he is not a money whore and ends being a whore anyways

(this is entirely based off of the video where they make ice cream out of fireball and other weird shit)

"Twenty dollars, crisp."

Schlatt presses his lips into an unamused line, is Ted seriously joking right now? Snorting cheeto dust is a terrible idea. "You're kidding."

"Come on, you sure you don't want a little Andrew Jackson in your pocket?" Ted urges, flattening the bill onto the smooth counter, grinning at the camera and back at Schlatt.

Schlatt waits, over time he's honesty improved at maintaining eye contact with Ted and holding himself back from lingering on the thoughts that would normally come along. Like his stupid glasses, light reflecting, leaving a dash of incoherent brightness to just barely hide the twinkle in his eyes, or his ridiculous hair. God his haircut is so ugly, somehow, it ends up being attractive. Schlatt has to keep a bored, disappointed face on. To be truthful, Ted just happens to be handsome. But that doesn't mean Schlatt would just do anything.

So he sits there. Twenty dollars is bullshit. "No, pal, I'm not snorting fucking cheeto dust," He says firmly, but unfortunately there's always that complaining undertone of his that ends up sounding whiney, and he mentally grimaces. "That- no way, man. Disgusting."

Ted pauses to examine his facial expression, something that does absolutely nothing, of course. Then Ted so easily pulls out his wallet, determined with a cheeky grin. He only spares the camera one knowing look, like he can read the future, like he's got Schlatt mapped out and honestly-

Honestly Schlatt hates that fucking look. As if Ted reads him that easily. There's also no way Ted is gonna convince him to do something this stupid. Not even as Ted opens his wallet up with satisfaction that makes Schlatt want to cuss him out.

"Okay, Schlatt, what about two?" He asks, tilting his head up but Schlatt's too busy glaring at all the bills stuffed in his wallet. Absolutely insane. But Ted just carries on, wallet going back to reside in his pocket as he waves two twenty dollar bills in Schlatt's face with a smile and hooded eyes that makes him sick inside.

"No," He says. But Ted insists. "Yeah, okay, I'm not gonna settle for fourty, Ted. I saw all that cash in your wallet." He really isn't. Fourty is stupidly low, not enough. Not even worth it as Ted fans them on his face and hums lowly.

"Oh, it's not?" Ted leans back for a moment and finally Schlatt can breathe. "You're really passing on fourty dollars?"

Well... "Yes," Schlatt tells him. At least, he should. But then he eyes the dust on the smooth counter surface and back at the bills. "Fuck you, dude," He grumbles, taking the fourty as Ted's smile grows concerningly large and he beams, standing up.

Schlatt makes the mistake of letting his eyes follow, watching as Ted glances down at him and a laugh escapes from his lips. "You're such a money whore."

Fuck. Schlatt instantly darts away, leaning forward and silently cursing at the world as he holds a finger to the side of nose and-

"Agh!" He coils back, it's awful, really. But the two twenties sitting under his elbow make it a little more bearable. Maybe that and the large hand Ted suddenly sets on his shoulder as he practically giggles, straight up, head back and smile blinding. Schlatt seriously hates him for this, just wants the money.

"Jeses fuck that was horrible."

"You're just a baby, you know," Ted jokes, deciding to finally sit back down, broad shoulders and all, even brushes against Schlatt before finally settling down as the other man grimaces.

"No. You fucking do it, Ted." He tells him, waving a hand up with a flick of his wrist, daring him with a look he hopes Ted takes like a cut. His nostril doesn't feel great. "Let's see you snort the dumb fucking cheeto dust."

Schlatt sort of begs the world to make Ted agree to do it for maybe a promised five dollars when he gets his wallet. Just because. No reasons. Except to get rid of the sound of Ted calling him a money whore, right on camera too. But in order to do that, he has to prove Ted wrong. By showing him Ted's even worse than he is.

Unfortunately, though, Ted clenches his teeth and makes that ugly face when he's about to say no. "Maybe if you throw in another twenty. Maybe even two."

"I don't have my wallet," Schlatt says, getting up and grabbing a paper towel wordlessly, holding it up to his nose. Between Ted's mocking laughter and him getting cheeto dust out of his nose, he does admittedly make a noise, one of pain, that just sends Ted flopping onto the counter with chuckles. He grimaces and turns his head to the camera. "And hell to eighty bucks, dude, maybe I'll give you single five later."

Schlatt promptly drops the finger he had pointed at him and sits back down, paper towel discarded.

Ted pauses, squinting at him with a smile, eyes debating something behind perfect color. "Okay you're just desperate. No way I'm going lower than what you did."

Schlatt scoffs, leaning on his arms, head hanging a little low. "No. Desperate for what?"

"To make me look like the beggar." Ted accuses, voice light but sure, face scrunched up ever so slightly and in no fucking universe is this fair, how Ted knows, how he sees so easily.

It pisses him off, sort of makes him hot in the face and chest for reasons he can't explain. Like yeah, he is somewhat attracted to Ted, but why does this particular thing seem to make him sweat?

"I don't know what your idiotic ass is on about." He huffs, forcing out a laugh directed at the viewers as he holds his hands up with a quick shrug. "I really don't."

But then Ted's close again, which looks normal, personal space doesn't fully exist when they're together and even the audience knows it. But it still sends Schlatt chasing after his breath to securely hold it, Ted's face mere inches away, smiling. "I think you do know."

"I think you need to shut up."

"Oh, yeah okay." Ted waves off the statement, looking around with a shake of his head. "Tell me to shut up because you know I'm right."

"But you seriously aren't-"

"Dude," Ted says bluntly, head snapping towards him, holding a hand out. "You seriously snorted some for forty dollars when you knew I was capable of offering, like, a hundred if I really wanted you to do it."

Schlatt goes to argue but comes to the uncomfortable conclusion that Ted is correct. Schlatt should have been more stubborn, gotten more money, all for the same thing. He blinks, brows furrowed. "You fucking robbed me?"

Ted laughs, looking down at the ground with his eyes shut with his smile, hiding it from the camera and Schlatt remembers Ted's the worst being ever, so he shouldn't even dare to think he looks cute. Ted glances at him, leaning on his closed hands that shield most of his face from the audiences' view for when they watch the video.

"Schlatt, buddy, you didn't have any money to begin with."

Absolutely every sentence this man said drives Schlatt one street closer to halfway losing it.

As in snapping at him to stop being so annoying, of course. Not to grab the collar of his sweatshirt and tug him as harshly as he could until Ted's lips were on his.

That would be...

Sclatt's brows raise, lost in thought before he gets a fucking grip and frowns. Correction, that would be a really bad idea. Neither of them should enjoy that. They wouldn't.

"Let's make some of the worst, most disgusting, fucked up ice cream, Ted." Schlatt suddenly states, looking at the camera and grinning. It's easy, he thinks, to switch off the tempting visuals his imagination gives him just by comfortably falling into another focused mindset, one surrounding making content with his just friend for a later audience to see. Ted slows a little before joining him, holding up a bag of cheetos.

"Starting with cheeto flavored ice cream."

Schlatt almost gags thinking about it, a very displeased look on his face as he takes the bag Ted passes him, then opens it. "This is gonna be horrid, man."

"We'll see." Is all Ted says before his eyes light up. "Oh, but in order to actually do this and make cheeto ice cream, I'm gonna have to go get my special fancy blender."

Schlatt hates how he says it. "It's just a blender, dude."

"Dude," Ted repeats, looking at him all offended, half sitting down, half standing as he places a hand on his chest. "It's mine and it's fancy."

"No it's not." Schlatt argues, face scrunched as he laughs at Ted.

"Uh, yes it is, Schlatt, buddy boy." He denies and Schlatt glances at him like his existence is embarrassing, then faces the camera again.

"It's not. Guys, it sucks."

"You're just jealous," Ted says with a huff, fully stepping back from the counter and lightly whacking Schlatt in the back of his head. "Jealousy doesn't look good on you."

Schlatt pushes him away with a ducked head. "Oh, fuck me." Ted is awful, truly. The world uses him as a tool to piss Schlatt off, to screw over his mood.

All he gets from Ted though is an amused laugh, a burning pat on the shoulder he instantly shrugs off, and a shrug from Ted. "Maybe if you could be nice to me."

Ted jokes. He says nonsensical things a lot. Says things he doesn't mean, for humor, for fun, entertainment even. He doesn't mean it but fuck it's so, so hard to realize that fact.

So of course Schlatt's brain trips over itself, heat smarting under his cheeks to leave them pinker by the second as his guts twist. It's supposed to be a joke no matter how blunt Ted may say it, no matter how it sounds.

And really, Schlatt shouldn't be surprised like this, like it's the first joke like this that they've made. They say gay shit to each other just because, why not? Even off camera too. It's all jokes, even if it always stays in his head, like when Ted just suddenly told him he had a nice ass once, then laughed loudly. It's all fun and games between two totally straight dudes.

Because of this, Schlatt knows he has got to calm the hell out. He can't actually be interested with his friend, he can pretend to for fun, he can sometimes let himself indulge in it, but hardly ever, because deep down he really has got to back off from a subject like this.

Still, Schlatt sounds unfairly tooken back as he shoots Ted a look. "What!? Dude, first off-" He starts, stopping as his mouth goes dry and he forces himself to carry on with an accusing finger. "I'm very nice, actually, kind even. Hero at times."

He attempts to say it with such certainty, trying to find point two, but then Ted glances past his shoulder, down at him, and gives him a smug smile.

"And secondly," He swallows, sitting up straight as he thinks of what to say. Ted waits, brows knitted together with concentration. "Secondly, you're an ass. Your Jokes are shit."

Ted pushes himself up from the counter he's leaning on and turns his back to him. "You have laughed at most of them, though." Then there's a silent pause, Schlatt's face is hot with what should only be light frustration, but unfortunately is also a flattered shade, temperature rising. Ted shrugs. Again. "Plus, it's only a joke if you make it, Schlatt."

Schlatt stills, mind replaying it because what the hell does that mean? He refuses the need to take a slow breath, and scowls, as dirty as he can, right at Ted's back who's too busy getting his blender to even notice.

There's no way Ted means it. But he should stop joking around anyway, because Schlatt can not handle it, not today, not when Ted wears that sweatshirt and those glasses. Just not at this moment.

When Ted turns around Schlatt hopes he looks pissed, but honestly, he just might look turned on. Stupidly so.

He honestly doesn't know what Ted thinks he looks like because the man stops, blender in his hands, and tilts his head. "What?"

"The fuck you mean what? I should be asking that." Schlatt shoots back at the question, pointing, putting a hand on his chest, waving, everything of the sort. He should probably let it slide off, just roll down like water and put it aside as a joke, just another of the many. But it's so stupidly unfair and wrong how he can't stop staring at Ted, how his head thinks of what could happen between them, what Ted would act like when they're bare and in bed. He, much to his dismay, is becoming rather horny for his friend.

Which is a problem. In case anyone such as Schlatt forgot.

However, it's like Ted isn't even capable of registering any of that, like the idea of a bad consequence doesn't even dare to exist around him right now, as he pushes his glasses further up his nose with two fingers after setting the blender back down. "Why do you need to?" He asks, dry and smooth all the same it makes literally zero sense. "What's making you question whatever you're questioning at this very moment?"

Honestly there's a lot. The questionable thought of whether or not Ted is being serious, if Schlatt should even consider that he is serious, what it would mean if he is serious. Why Ted says this type of stuff, why Schlatt likes it, and why he says it back but is now suddenly acting like it's the craziest thing either of them has ever said.

Maybe it's because Schlatt hasn't actually always been attracted to Ted, so whenever Ted jokingly roughed him up with strong hands, shaking his shoulders or grabbing his face, it never made him feel so stupidly sick with desire. Back then, Ted's insults and mockery didn't make Schlatt's stomach twist with something he wasn't used to, same with Ted's compliments and thoughtful invitations to hang out- fucking hell, even Ted's sincere good morning text from last week had Schlatt's head tilting up, breathing in slowly to remind himself they were just fucking friends.

Well, just friends. Not friends that fuck, to clarify. Schlatt's head spins at the thought, silence carrying on before he bites the inside of his lip, coming up with an excuse, and shrugging at the camera. "We are literally recording, Ted."

If Schlatt never knew Ted as closely as he did, the way his eyes dull over would have been missed. Ted's eyebrows are raised, and he waves a hand towards the device. "Oh, so it's the camera? You can't handle it in front of the camera, Schlatt?" He asks, but his voice bites at Schlatt's tongue, leaving him without a response. Not that Ted gives him the time to think of one. "Come on, man, I can always cut this bit out before it even goes anywhere, if it really bothers you. But I really don't get the issue."

Schlatt breathes in sharply through his nose, eyeing the camera like if he looks away, it'll jump at him or any other possibility that of course, doesn't play out in his favor. Like already, there is a crowd witnessing him tripping over himself. Normally he doesn't care at all, it's just a video out of many, but for some reason since the moment he met up with Ted, things have been morphing into something a bit different.

They're alone, and Schlatt's head is wrapping around that fact over and over. He really needs to get in check.

"Whatever, dude." He dismisses, defeat lingers on the tip of his tongue, but quickly fades away with the obvious frustration etched into his expression, so much so it sinks into his tone. "It's not just the camera anyways." He mumbles out that part with an unamused glance away from Ted, who is still the worst possible being to exist. He isn't necessarily supposed to hear it, but if he does, Schlatt won't go crazy.

Of course, that means Ted hears it. He picks up the blender first, then carries it over to his seat and sets it down. He looks at Schlatt, a brow lifted with a questioning glance.

"Oh yeah?" He asks and Schlatt doesn't like the way it sounds, totally not. It's so gross and nothing but. Definitely. So no, he doesn't feel his nerves light up when Ted moves to sit down, shoulders brushing and smiles curiously at him. "Then what else, Schlatt?"

Schlatt shakes his head, he's not gonna just up and admit that he's attracted to Ted right to his face. You serious? He's not a dumbass. Ted is allowed to know that maybe it might not be the camera, but something else. Doesn't mean he gets to know what though. "That's for me to know."

Ted's face dims. "Wow. Lame. Tell me."

"Dude, no-"

"Come on."

"No, no way." Schlatt denies it, looking at the camera like maybe it'll give him a way outta here, to somewhere where he isn't being questioned by Ted to reveal shit he frankly, really doesn't want to. "Never."

"Oh, oh okay." Ted nods sarcastically, leaning back. "So it's never? You're really never gonna tell me?"

Schlatt pauses, a blank face before he simply laughs. "Yeah. Yeah dude, that's exactly what I'm gonna do."

There's a beat of silence that follows and Schlatt looks over at Ted just in time to frown when he realizes the fact that gears are most definitely turning in his brain. "Don't think too hard or you'll hurt yourself." He tells him and Ted just waves it off with a short smile before it turns into the hints of a smirk.

"What if I offered you money," Ted suggests, making a circular motion with his finger. "You know, a penny for your thoughts."

Schlatt scoffs, absolutely offended. "Jesus, Ted! How low do you think of me, no fucking way. A penny?"

Ted frowns. "No, that's the saying. Dumbass." He then reaches for his wallet again and Schlatt tenses, he's prepared, he's not giving in this time. "What about a ten? And you tell me."

"Dude you're desperate, why do you wanna know?"

"Why don't you wanna tell me?"

Schlatt grimaces, eyes drifting away to examine the counter surface like he has nothing else to entertain him. It's a simple answer, really. A ' I don't want you to know that I think you're fucking hot ' or anything similar. Just along those lines. But that defeats the purpose. Saying 'i didn't want you to know x y z', then gives away x y and z. It's stupid. So he just has to keep his mouth shut.

Ted seems to catch wind, if only ever so slightly, of the thought process going through Schlatt's head as he squints and leans closer, voice lowering.

"Come on, Sclatt," He nearly mumbles it, the tips of his lips curled up into a poorly hidden smile. "I know it was just on the tip of your tongue."

Schlatt simply stares at the camera and clears his throat. "We should make this gross ice cream. Ted." He side-eyes him when he says his name and hopes Ted will just give up.

Which is a stupid thing to wish for because Ted is one stubborn prick.

"Oh yeah, we will." Ted confirms dismissively, clearly preoccupied as he leans back to wave at the bowl, the bags of cheetos, and his special blender. "But first I was thinking you could earn twenty-something dollars?"

Schlatt nearly smiles, it flashes across his face for a second and is shoved away as he pulls in a bag of cheetos. "Keep dreaming, big guy."

"Jackson won't do, huh?" Ted questions, mostly to himself if anything, yet there's still that complete lack of weight to it- like even he doesn't buy it, looking down and Schlatt pointedly ignores him as he hears him shuffle around, retrieving more money no doubt. Not that Schlatt will budge.

However, when he looks back all Ted has is still one singular twenty-dollar bill.

Schlatt laughs at him.

"What are you aiming at?" He asks, opening the cheeto bag in front of him and watching as Ted shrugs it off.

"I know you'll come around, simple."

"Yeah, sure thing."

Ted hums, eyes lifting up to the camera in front of them and explaining how they're going to make the ice cream, holding up the creamer and such and Schlatt just sort of watches with occasional nods.

What's very disappointing is how his eyes drift downwards to the money sitting right in front of Ted, like the man said, twenty dollars crisp is what all started this. But he's not about to let it finish this. He'll win.

Because in the end he has no right to be this worked up that Ted was just... Joking around. He does it too, he's fine, he doesn't even want the money. One hundred percent.

"This is gonna be awful," Schlatt groans out, a slightly amused chuckle trailing after and honestly it could have been a comment on both the ice cream and Ted's insisting bribery attempts- that Schlatt refuses to be a victim of anymore. Damn Ted is so evil. Far too evil, in fact, Schlatt's small, quick, and simple murdering of a homeless man that was totally definitely (really actually) real and most certainly (yup) happened - even that looks like nothing even cruel when compared to Ted.

Ted, seemingly unaware of Schlatt's mindless internal rant, smiles at him and it's a little too soft all around the edges that are supposed to be hardened with something smug, not whatever this is. Not whatever he's giving to Schlatt that Schlatt honestly can not deny because hell he isn't really supposed to be attracted to his friend.

But it is what it is, Schlatt supposed.

"Think we'll make it out alive, don't worry," Ted muses teasingly, taking the time to sit there and act like he's calculating their chances of survival. Then he shrugs and tinkers with the ice cream maker machine thingy- Schlatt doesn't care- and hums. "But we'd be the first to achieve death by Cheeto ice cream, I think."

Schlatt feels a warm laugh escape him, unfortunately so. "I don't think first place is worth it this time, Teddy."

Oof. Okay so... Schlatt feels a bit embarrassed about the nickname because he can't actually remember if he has used it before and if he has, what Ted even thought of it. So he waits on slippery rocks, about to fall into a cold river ass first and have Ted make fun of him or worse, or he just is a really dramatic person which he'll blame and say is a side effect of sitting in front of a fucking camera for so many hours of his life.

Maybe that's it though, because Ted just hesitates for a single second, nearly looking like somebody manually pressed his pause button, then breathes in as a smile grows on his face mixed with a slightly confused but welcoming face. He doesn't hate it. In fact Schlatt might even say he likes it. Which is still a tiny bit unfair because when he first thought of the nickname it was originally meant to be used for condescending purposes, y'know, being rude and all that. But the laugh ruined it, his undoubtedly there blush ruined it, and his voice ruined it.

So now he's got Ted eying him again, lips pulled up. "No? Don't think so?"

God, he is so annoying. "Yeah, that's why I said it."

Ted hums. "Well I say it's worth trying, at the very least," Ted declares with a finger in the air, and Schlatt follows his hand back down. Which is a mistake because then Ted's hand is an inch away from his money. The stuff he's trying to use to bribe Schlatt with. What a loser.

Schlatt tilts his head up and looks away. "Then hurry up and make it, bitch."

Of course Ted just has to stop and give Schlatt this expression of impressed amusement and judgment mixed in like he's offended and Schlatt is so incorrect it makes his nose wrinkle as he huffs, then squints.

"Nice one, Schlatt," He muses but then he confidently lifts his head, still holding eye contact like being insufferable is the only way he survives as he draws out "But I'd say you're more my bitch."

So maybe Schlatt almost coughs up Cheetos, but he doesn't, he just hasn't yet thought of literally anything to say to that, how to even respond. Because he's too busy replaying it in his head like he ends up doing, Ted's voice rolling around in his mind and it's always just a little conflicting how Ted can be both simply nice and a proper jerk to get Schlatt like this, all heated and ready to jump some fucking bones. Ted's to be exact.

But he, for the millionth time, should not really be thinking of his friend that way. Yet Ted keeps suggesting all these stupid things that keep his thoughts tripping over words and smiles, resulting in these stupid desires.

Schlatt breathes in, he should just try his damn hardest to forget all about this ridiculous nonsense of Ted this Ted that.

Still without a response, he says nothing and they move to dump a vile amount of Cheetos into Ted's crappy blender. But when Schlatt is standing there in front of the blender, opening his bag while simultaneously trying to get a hold of his thoughts, Ted just so naturally fucks it up by walking up behind him.

Schlatt can sense his presence and decides to act extra focused and amused as he shakes the bag into the blender. This ice cream is definitely gonna taste like shit. He nearly smiles to himself at that, halfway mixed with a grossed-out grimace. He has to pause, though, because Ted puts it up on himself to step forward and watch over Schlatt's shoulder, which presses against Ted's collarbone, and Ted hums.

"What cheese to flaming hot ratio are we thinking of here?" He asks and out of context- and honestly even with and without full knowledge of the situation- his words aren't anything attractive. It's just how Ted's chin is over his shoulder, so close to his face, and half his front against Schlatt's back just barely light enough that Schlatt can still have hope that Ted didn't magically read his mind and decide to mess with him.

Schlatt swallows, that would not be good. He isn't even pouring any more Cheetos, just awkwardly stationed here because of Ted and it's his stupid fault, as it normally is. "It's whatever, dude," He answers.

Ted chuckles and it's almost a little too much that Schatt can feel it, warm and deep and fuck- "Ted-"

"Just speaking your mind isn't as risky as snorting cheeto dust," Ted whispers, cutting Schlatt off, then placing an open bag of flamin' hot cheeto dust on the counter without a word and walking away.

The hell is with this guy.

Schlatt dumps the Cheetos in and clears his throat, only looking at Ted to make sure he's listening. Of course he is already glancing over at Schlatt after lowering his phone.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” He says bluntly, snapping the lid onto the blender and fixing it up to start. He gestures to Ted over to finish the job and waves. “See ya.”

And he really hopes that when he comes back things will be a lot more collected.

Because seriously, Ted needs to chill out if he wants to finish this video without Schlatt blurting out his desire to jump his bones and try to do something about it.

So he's here, in the bathroom, regaining some composure. He looks into the mirror and sighs.

Hopefully he can do this.

Schlatt is tiptoeing back into Ted's kitchen not even three minutes later, after having to practically reset himself so his composure was fresh and sturdy and no longer chipping away at the edges.

He knows he and Ted make some questionable jokes, but today was just not the day Schlatt could handle it. Not when they're alone at Ted's house, not like this.

But he's back and stronger, so when he sees Ted standing there, one hand on the counter, the other scrolling about on his phone, Schlatt purposefully redirects his mind from stuff like 'Ted looks good, really good' to 'Ted is annoying'.

So it's easier to walk up to him, round the counter, and peek at his phone, which simply shows his home screen page. "What are you doing now?"

"Waiting," Ted replies, turning off his phone and Schlatt takes a step back to give Ted some space as he turns around and tucks his phone into his pocket. "We got an hour, Schlatt."

Oh, that's right. It takes a ridiculous amount of time for the ice cream to be made. Meaning each time they mix up a new stupid flavor there is going to be a whole sixty minutes that follows until the next one, as in they've got a lot of time.

He tries not to think about what ways he would like to spend this time doing with Ted, seeing as it's what made him excuse himself in the first place with embarrassment and silent scolds focused at himself for being this way. You shouldn't be unnecessarily attracted to your best friend who is probably straight.

He shoves it down his throat and hopes it doesn't crawl back up as he opens his mouth, closes it, and blinks, then finds something to say. "That's a while."

No shit, he thinks.

"No shit," Ted says and Schlatt almost smiles at that. He looks to both his right and his left while trying to start up a totally normal conversation between two men who seemingly are only interested in other people, not each other, and catches the absence of a running camera.

"So, are you going to spend the rest of the time staring at your home screen?" Schlatt jokes, allowing himself a small smile that pulls at his lips, light and subtle. Ted chuckles at that, eyes averting their gaze on Schlatt as he presses his lips into a thin line.

He's definitely thinking of something, Schlatt can tell with the tiniest pinch of his brows and the way he stalls, simply looking at the cabinets. And for a moment Schlatt understands Ted's relentless attempt to get Schlatt to reveal whatever is on his mind. Instead, though, Schlatt takes a different approach that starts with a sharp scoff, quickly making Ted's vision snap back to him.

"What?" Schlatt asks, keeping the 'is on your mind' part of the sentence heavily implied with a raise of his eyebrows and the downturn of his lips, but not spoken out loud.

There's only a moment of hesitation before Ted sighs.

"You ever use Reddit to answer your questions?" He asks, which makes Schlatt nearly pause with a confused thought about how the hell it's related, before he realizes, and nods.

"Occasionally, yes," He says. It's the honest truth. "Why?"

"Well, it seems a Redditor from two years ago was facing the same issue," Ted starts, leaning back and crossing his arms. Schlatt wants to ask what but lets him finish in case he's about to tell him exactly that. Ted waits for a second, blinks at Schools like he's trying to figure something out for himself, and Schlatt's nerves ruffle up but he remembers to stay cool. "Seems most answers said I should just be direct."

Schlatt's lips twitch and Ted just feels only a little off. Like he's not standing on two feet, which is odd because he is. Still, there's definitely something Schlatt is stupidly failing to catch onto, slipping through his hands every time. He clears his throat and ignores it.

"About what?" He asks and he stirs at how Ted doesn't look away with hesitation, rather, a sense of what Schlatt can only describe with the words "fuck it" fill up, behind his eyes, there and ever-growing as he breathes out through his nostrils in an act of acceptance to whatever he's about to say. Schlatt almost wonders if he should be concerned.

"Schlatt." Is all Ted gets out first, making his eyes return to Ted's, ever puzzled as he tilts his head and squints, trying not to let his heart pound because of the level of eye contact here, but rather because that's what hearts do.

"Ted?" Is what he gives him for a response and he notices the very light bite of the cheek Ted does, a classic move formed from Ted's doubts. But Schlatt is dying to know, doesn't want to wait, and urges him forward. "What?" He questions, firmer, and hopes he doesn't sound like he needs it.

Only a second passes, but it feels like twenty. Then,

"I want to kiss you."

Schlatt's eyes widen. He is considering the possibility he misheard his friend but the set expression on Ted's face is trying to tell him he didn't. He doesn't have a brain for a couple of moments, just stands there full of disbelief, and before he can properly understand the English language again, his mouth hangs open just a little, lips parted, staring right at Ted.

Thankfully, his brain is capable of working again, if only a bit, and his shoulders rise with his breath. "Are you fucking with me?" He blurts out and thinks about how horrible that would be. Ted figures out Schlatt has a thing for him and decides to mess with him because of it. That would have Schlatt raging. He hopes that's not it. A part of him knows Ted isn't really that type of person, knows he wouldn't play Schlatt up like that, and Schlatt's shocked mind struggles for a second to comprehend that fact as Ted flashes a look of worry before shaking his head urgently.

"No." He confirms, so entirely certain of it, that it helps Schlatt focus on controlling the blush he's starting to feel heat up his face. So, okay, Ted isn't messing around. He holds his breath. Ted says no again and looks down at the ground."I just, you know, have the urge to kiss you."

Schlatt didn't know, actually. But he does know the feeling, so he nods, dumb in the brain and still not fully believing the situation he's in. "I get that," He says like an idiot. "The feeling. A lot."

Ted falters, glancing up at Schlatt. "Oh?"

"I want to kiss you back," Schlatt admits and he dismisses the sound of his heartbeat in his ears and waits on the edge, near hopeful, entirely eager, and expectantly seeking for Ted to be the first one to do something about the new revelation because Jesus Fuck he has wanted it for so long. Too long, actually, so it's about damn time it happens.

"Right now?" Ted suggests, carefully watching him, but there's that smug smile Schlatt has thought of countless of times that sneaks onto his face as he inches closer and squeezes Schlatt's shoulder. The weight is strangely exhilarating as Schlatt nods.

"Right now," He says, and thankfully Ted is also a man with little patience when it comes to this, because not a second more is wasted and he's tugging at Schlatt's waist to bring him closer and pressing his lips against Schlatt's.

Schlatt is fucking burning wherever Ted's touches him, hips, waist, lips, and he can't get enough of it. His head spins, but he doesn't care, not when he's finally getting to kiss Ted, hot and quick and demanding as he grabs the back of Ted's neck and wordlessly asks for more.

So now it's a strong line of messy open-mouthed kisses that have Schlatt breathless, heart beating far too heavy it rams against his ribs and booms in his ear, but what's more important is how he can hear Ted's increasingly short breathes as he tries to make more time to kiss and less time to catch his breath.

Schlatt stumbles a little bit backwards with the pure force of it all, hands scrambling up Ted's back to grab at his shoulders, wanting it all and sighing at the way Ted sweeps in his tongue, unforgivingly taking and taking as one of his hands grips at his hip, daring to lift the material of his hoodie (which now feels like way too much clothing) upwards, heat seeping into Schlatt's skin through his finger pads. Ted presses them closer, hand on the span of Schlatt's back, who can feel his nerves go incredibly haywire at the sensation of their chests bumping, thighs uncoordinated as their lips, and it's a true question of whether it was Schlatt's eagerness or Ted's that has Ted's thigh in between Schlatt's, sending a pleasant amount of pressure straight to his dick.

Of course, there's the very possible option that it was the both of them, as Schlatt gasps into Ted's mouth, clenching onto his shoulders, and tilting his hips forward.

"There's gotta be more than that," Schlatt whispers and Ted moves his head back and Schlatt's stuck on the sight of him, lips red and he can't help but want them to be more swollen, to see that and know the why behind it, and his cheeks dusted with blush, furiously pink.

"If you want more, we're moving to the bedroom, Schlatt," He says, all direct and to the point and fuck, Schlatt almost has half the thought that he should thank Reddit for existing, because even though he's always felt something when Ted gets all blunt and horribly honest with a firm tone, it's definitely something else in this context, in the making out and awfully horny context.

Schlatt is instantly taking up the offer because he knows one when he sees one. In what world would he give up or pass on the opportunity to land up in bed with Nevison? None of them, okay. That's what's up.

He lets out an embarrassingly shaky breath as Ted kisses his neck, just a little left of the center of his throat. His head is fucking catapulting idea after idea at him, suggestive image after the next, flashes of Ted's smile sinking into his thigh with a hand wrapped around him.

"Fuck," He mumbles, both at all the thoughts that Ted's words have sparked, and because Ted's grabbing at his ass with his lips attached to the inviting skin of his neck. It's all Ted, all he can feel, think, and all he wants right now as he nods again. "Yes, yeah, let's - bedroom, Ted."

Ted hums into the crook of Schlatt's neck, exhales, then removes himself from Schlatt and takes hold of his wrist. Schlatt is more than willing to trail along like he doesn't know where the bedroom is, like he hasn't been in it before because this time it's different. This time It's Ted walking Schlatt into his room, past the door frame, and pulling him close once they're in it.

This time it's not sneaking glances as they both sit on the floor, only wishing for something else. Right now it's Ted kissing his face off before letting them both breathe.

Schlatt doesn't even realize his chest is practically heaving until Ted places his palms flat up against him and smiles.

"You think we're overdressed for this occasion?" He asks and lets out a booming and warm laugh when Schlatt rolls his eyes. Schlatt wraps his fingers around Ted's wrists and brings his hands down to the bottom hem of his hoodie. Ted's chest inflates at the action, and Schlatt bets his ego does too. But it really doesn't matter if Ted's pompous as shit or not because the man's teasingly flirting his fingers into the fabric of Schlatt's pants only to soak in the sharp gasp he makes with a smug smile before lifting Schlatt's hoodie up, hands brushing across his bare skin in a way that leaves a fiery trail of pleasure in its wake.

"Don't tell me you're a fucking tease," Schlatt grumbles, far too aroused to sound remotely upset as he watches his hoodie fall to the ground as Ted moves to take off his own. He has seen Ted shirtless, at swimming pools and whatnot, but to see it this close when it's... Intimate like this, to lean into Ted with a kiss that might dance across the border of too slow and soft, with his hands roaming up and down Ted's torso, skin warm underneath his travelling palms that itch for more, pressing against Ted's stomach. It's vastly different from a long beach day with the gang.

He likes it. A lot.

It's virtually tender, with the way Schlatt slowly explores every inch of Ted's skin he's got with appreciation, with the way Ted kisses deep, eyes closed, with a hand cupping Schlatt's face, sweet and intentionally dragged out. Something akin to admiration sinks into it, buried somewhere between Ted's tongue and Schlatt's fingers.

But then they remember they have got lungs, which unfortunately need oxygen, so they part, and Schlatt's swallowing down air as Ted takes a couple of breaths and moves to shuffle himself out of his pants. Schlatt bites his lips because fuck, this man was golden, absolutely stellar, and well, hot as hell. So of course he then quickly follows in suit, fumbling to get them off due to the lust that hazes over his gaze and makes him just a little rushed.

Ted's shamelessly checking him out, he realizes, looking up after stepping out of the rumple of clothing on the ground, and finds himself beaming into the attention and not staying away.

"Might as well take those off, too," Ted says, gesturing towards his boxers with a nod of his head. Schlatt, even though Ted undressed his upper half and had his tongue practically shoved down Schlatt's throat and clearly wants to take it further just as much as he does, finds himself blushing. Ted smiles curiously. "You drawing the line?" He asks even though they both know he is absolutely not doing that. Maybe that's why Ted finds it funny, the asshole.

"Fucking kidding me?" Schlatt scoffs, shrugging off anything that could render him hesitant, and slides them off. He swells up with satisfaction when he catches the breath Ted takes, eyes slightly widening for only a fraction of a second, and licks the middle of his lips shortly like the absolutely cheeky and lecherous scoundrel he is- apparently. Schlatt scrunches his nose and huffs out of amusement at that. However, it's not like Schlatt is clean of his intemperate imagination when it comes to his friend, so he spares him a comment in favor of kissing him.

"You wanna get on the bed for me?" Ted asks and Schlatt hums against his lips with a question on his mind and his hand wrapped around the back of Ted's neck.

"You got lube and shit?" He quires, trying not to sound like an idiot, "Condoms?"

"Yes, pal," Ted says, on the edges of mocking, and kisses him back. "I've got 'em both."

Schlatt smiles, then allows himself to turn around and listen to Ted's words, knees pressed into the mattress as he situates near the top, and peers over at him.

Schlatt's stomach does a phenomenal amount of flips when he sees Ted with a condom and a bottle of lube in his hand, butterflies in his stomach with wings flapping so fast it's like a tornado, thrashing up against his ribs cage violently with threats to vomit out his wanton desires and beg for it all. Because the realness of what's happening is catching up to him and he can't breathe without Ted up in his space anymore, not for the next while, because he silently confesses he just needs Ted close right now, to get over and touch him all over until he comes and spit out nonsense as long as it's accompanied with the feeling of Ted all around him, even inside of him he dare say.

The next thing he knows, Ted's crowding Schlatt up on his bed, which has his brain whirring with the amount of rebooting it's had to live through the moment Ted kisses him. He sets the two items in between Schlatt's bent legs, knees pointed upwards to the sky as if anything they are doing is related to pure golden heaven. Schlatt exhales, a little uneven, and his chest rises as he absorbs the sight of Ted moving up, looming over him, hair falling over his forehead a little, with a hand trailing up Schlatt's leg.

"Ted," He warns uselessly, without much behind it besides a pinch of neediness. Which is a little unfair, he thinks, because really Ted being on top of him shouldn't have that much of an effect. But it's the first time and maybe not the last and it's something straight out of the dreams he normally would suffocate with neglect, so he's been silently wishing for this to happen for a while now. Maybe that's why it means so much when Ted slides in between his knees and kisses Schlatt's shoulder with a hand pressing on the inside of one knee, parting his legs and pointedly ignoring his dick. Schlatt ruffles impatiently and it doesn't mean he's desperate for it just because he rolls his hips up into Ted... Okay. Just bored of waiting as he huffs. "Come on, Ted."

"Fine," Ted mumbles but there's no sign of reluctance in his tone or his actions because he's excitedly rubbing Schlatt's legs and quirking his lips up curiously. "How do you wanna do this?"

It's such a stupid question, Schlatt thinks. Like it isn't obvious enough what he wants. He rolls his eyes, a little sarcastic, a whole lot of eager, and spreads his legs wider. "The fuck do you think?"

Ted snickers at him, but takes the not-so-subtle hint and moves back, tugging at Schlatt's legs to bring him up closer and lift him off the mattress for easier access. It has Schlatt's breath running around with a small gasp, hands coming to Ted's lower arms, eyes wordlessly telling him to hurry up.

Thankfully, Ted doesn't linger too much afterwards, opening the lube and decently coating his fingers with it, and Schlatt's face burns with how focused he gets on his ass, sides of his hands moving his cheeks and it's already a lot. Schlatt breathes out, hands lowering to rest on the bed, and he forces himself to not wild his hips around just because Ted has his hands on his ass, then a finger circling the rim of his hole, then dips it in with a smug look.

"Jesus," Schlatt murmurs and it's been a bit since he's felt this. But it's Ted, so it's still different. It's good, it's making him twist the comforter of Ted's bed with his fingers as Ted's begin to untangle him apart. "You should add a second," He says, voice breathy and not even three seconds after the first.

Ted huffs out a laugh, eyes pinned on Schlatt's hole in a way that sends him silently reeling, internally debating whether to throw himself at Ted and ask for it straight, to request the man to dick him down. He doesn't and just blinks at Ted's attentive expression that mixes with a smile. "You're very impatient, buddy."

Schlatt pauses, then looks away with furrowed brows and tightens his grip on the bed by a bit when Ted's finger swoops across his walls. "Don't call me-" but he chokes a little on his words as Ted invites a second finger, unprompted (but not really), and instantly scissors him. Schlatt lets out a heavy breath, he can practically feel the ridges of Ted's fingerprints and it's truly filthy. "Ugh- okay, I was saying don't call buddy," He starts unsteadily, biting his lip and inhaling as Ted's two fingers swipe all around his walls like they're participating in an urgent search. Schlatt tries to keep himself balanced. "When you've got your fingers up my ass."

"Huh," Ted says, all he says like what Schlatt is telling him isn't just common sense. God, he's such a jerk. But Schlatt thinks he will let it go for now because the man's got two fingers in him and skillfully moving around. His breaths are shallow and his skin is warm all over as he eases himself to relax into the sheets and soak up each nerve that catches on fire with every little shift and bend of Ted's fingers. He's ridiculously hard from it, and the pressure of it is perfectly both pleasant and a tiny bit painful, itching to release.

But then Ted manages a third finger, up to the last knuckle, and one of the three presses right against his walls in a particularly sensitive spot that has him clenching around them, finger pad directly burning pleasure onto his prostate. All of that hard work to relax on the bed goes hurdling out the window as Schlatt loses a bit of control, back barely arching as a breathy, unrestrained whine full of need slips from his mouth and into their ears.

It rings in his ears, washes humiliation over him as the sound batters around his head, bumping relentlessly into his skull as he opens his eyes, never fully recalling when he closed them, and tenses. "I-" but Ted's only grinning, basically from ear to ear, and very clearly pleased with himself it sends a warm bundle of feelings swirling down into Schlatt's stomach. Ted leans forward, the heat radiating from his body mingling with Schlatt's own he wonders if Ted can sense his heartbeat pulsing throughout, untamed and heavy and he can't stop himself from lifting a hand to press down on Ted's back to bring them closer, to feel his bare chest against his, to hear the way their uneven breathing mixes together as he moans softly into Ted's mouth before it can actually be considered a kiss and not just two open mouths slotting together in a competition to steal the most oxygen.

He feels wonderfully dizzy when they break, and can't properly think of what to even say as Ted's fingers open him up.

"I'd love to hear more," Ted admits in a whisper, then lowers his head to press a kiss all too chaste to his shoulder. Schlatt's hand presses flat against Ted's back like he's trying to keep him here, even though there are no signs of Ted walking away from this anytime soon, and he can feel Ted's stomach brushing above his tip as he moves, making him inhale sharply and tilt his head away for air.

"Ted, get on with it," He groans, lifting his other hand to lightly wack his arm. Ted only breathes out a laugh and targets his prostate again, making him grip onto Ted's arm with a gasp. "Now." He tells him, hoping he sounds more demanding than anything, hopefully not desperate.

Ted glances at him, amused, somehow looking far more composed despite the pink dusting across his cheeks and the craze that's spiraling in the color of his eyes. It's not exactly fair, Schlatt thinks, and wishes he could start chipping at Ted's poise, bit by bit. He can only start to wonder what it would look like- hell, feel like when Ted finally snaps, revolve dissipating and the collected yet smug manner he's currently maintaining fading away to make light for something Schlatt doesn't get to imagine for long because Ted is so deliciously moving his fingers in him.

But he wants more, Ted knows that, so he grabs all the pieces of his coolness, trying to shove down that starving hunger inside of him that paints skin a little pink and lowers his hips into Ted's hand, and gives Ted a look of amusement that's not even half real. "Can you seriously hurry up? I'm ready, I'm-"

Ted nips at the skin of his shoulder, a intentional distraction, and fuck does it work, it's just enough to leave the words falling back down Schlatt's throat as he chokes a little, more caught off guard than above anything else, but definitely aroused by it. "The fuck?" He blurts, his head a little too blurry at the edges, mixing up what he thinks he should do and what he wants to do, leaving him all easy like this. He does not hate Ted for it though, and scrambles to find a different response besides just a very surprised 'the fuck '. Ted, however, decides to finally listen to Schlatt about speeding up the process, and slides his fingers out of his hole, punching a short gaspy breath from him.

Ted breathes in, leaning back, and finds Schlatt glaring at him half-heartedly, making him give a crooked smile, glasses completely askew. He does take them off, though, and Schlatt's busy trying to debate whether that's something he will miss as Ted is about to fuck him, or wonder if yeah, may he should have taken them off. Ted scrunches his nose, amused, and Schlatt rolls his eyes.

"You know," He starts, and is only hindered for a second as Ted presses the flat of his palm to Schlatt's bare stomach, humming to himself, and it makes Schlatt fo half crazy. But he's fine, probably. "I always thought you'd talk more."

Ted's eyes light up with interest at that, sneaking a highly delighted laugh in between Schlatt's knees. "So you've thought about this, hm?" He observes, pointing it out like it wasn't already obvious with how easy it was for Ted to kiss him into his room and lay him down bed, finger him and have him silently asking for Ted to just fucking fuck him already. Schlatt rolls his eyes, refusing to deign him for an answer to a question so stupid and ridiculous. Ted accepts that, thankfully, however, then gives a thought about it and shrugs. "Since, apparently, we are throwing it out there, you're just about as bratty as I thought you would be."

Schlatt feels something collapse inside of him, crossing his arms and squeezing Ted with his knees, no matter if it doesn't do anything. "I am not bratty."

"Impatient, definitely," Ted says smoothly, shifting out of Schlatt's legs and slipping off the bed, almost making Schlatt frown with disappointment before he realizes he's moving to get rid of his underwear. "Oh, and demanding, let us not forget."

"You're just slow," Schlatt argues, glancing off into the distance as his stomach twists, tons of ties and knots, a whole shitty laundry machine cycling all his feelings about, intense sexual frustration must be one of them. Where Ted sees impatient, Schlatt sees somebody wanting to take his sweet time to purposefully upset him. Again, Schlatt will always say this: Ted is a right bitch.

He can feel the dip of the bed as Ted gets back on, smiling at him. "And you're just needy."

"Lies," He defends. Because that's totally untrue... Really. He groans, waving dismissively and urging Ted to continue making sexual advances rather then call him such things like bratty and needy.

But Ted just taps his knee. "Gonna need you the other way," He says and for a split second Schlatt is at a loss, not understanding what he means before it clicks and the realization makes blood spin to his dick as fast as he flips over, knees digging into the comforter, lifting himself up to his elbows, forehead sinking into Ted's idiotically soft pillow, the heat of his own breath travelling up his face as he blinks down, waiting, body vibrating with excitement, and hears Ted shift around.

"Not needy, huh?" He sounds all too pleased and Schlatt clenches his teeth, back arching so his stomach presses against the bed, and he manages to lift his head and look over his shoulder, lifting one hand and flipping Ted off. Ted only huffs and Schlatt breathes out, and yeah, okay, maybe he is a little impatient but it's justified.

Then he knows Ted has the condom on, and he is just tiptoeing on a high rope, about to fall the second Ted is actually in him. It's all to slow, yet goes by far too fast, as one Ted's hands come to grip at his hip, they both can sense Ted's thumb swiping across the angle of his bone, setting fire to his nerves as his other hand presses into his right cheek, opening him up, and he feels fucking whoreish with how that's all enough to make him let out a lazy moan, the sound partially muffled into the plush of the pillow.

Then finally, and seriously, finally he can feel Ted's dick slowly easing into him, process still stretching him, and leaving him panting onto the bed, hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets as Ted fucks into him slowly with a satisfied noise, one that is dragged out into a very unsteady moan when Schlatt clenches around him with a whine.

"Fuck," Ted whispers, sounding just a little on the verge it makes Schlatt smirk, face hidden from Ted but never the less pleased because he thinks Ted's getting it. He's just beginning to unravel, feel himself lose more and more control and dignity just as Schlatt has gone through.

So Schlatt is eager, as he always would be when it came to fucking with Ted, sexual and nonsexual, and pushes back, down on his cock, sinking down further and making Ted stutter, posture faltering, one hand dropping to hold himself up on the bed, his chest coming into contact with Schlatt's lower back, and the angle is fucking golden, making Schlatt moan.

Shit, he thinks for a second, that the position they are in nearly makes having sex with Ted even hotter than it is regardless. Ted's breathing is loud on his ear, but he doesn't care, he actually relishes the way his warm pants and noises fan across his neck, and a little on his back, all between the kisses Ted can not seem to stop placing all around any inch of skin he can reach.

It's so incredibly warm all over, heat suffocating him as Ted's chest, in It's now slightly sweat seemed glory, presses against Schlatt's bare back, his arm against Schlatt's side, and daring to thrust into him once, and instantly finding out they both are fucking hooked.

He supposes that Ted snapping is the man giving him exactly what he wants, which is wonderfully gratifying, sending wave after wave of pleasure up his spine, pouring out of his mouth that tumble one after he next, moan after moan, whines in between when Ted pulls in and out extra rough.

Schlatt lifts his head up, the circulation of his heavy breathing does not do any favors to cool him down. The air is thick, warm, and he can't even properly think as Ted decides it's around the right time to sink his teeth in his shoulder blade, a sharp spike of pain that conflicts yet molds with the delectation that sinks into his skin straight from Ted's mouth, timed with Ted rocking his hips to meet Schlatt, all a mess and all focused on the feel of this fuckin high. Schlatt can not, in any life, hold back the full heavy moan that is torn out of him, knees nearly trembling, as he ducks his head.

"God- Teddy," And he can just feel that he's getting close, that he's about to reach the height of it and come falling back down. "Ted," He tries, absolutely breathless, near incomprehensible, as heat coils in his stomach, far too tense and right and he needs this, even asks for it.

Ted smoothes over the bite mark he's left, hips bucking forward at what might just be the idea of managing to get Schlatt so far, so close to the edge, and he nods into Schlatt's back, gaining his voice, patchy and still clearly ridden with stammers of the physical extortion as he sucks in momentarily, "Shit, yeah, come on, Schlatt, finish for me."

And really, Schlatt's also been waiting to hear that, like this, under Ted as he takes whatever the hell he gives him, drunk of of it, high on the feeling, as he comes, all that winding back and he can finally let go and untangle freely into an even more exceptionally bigger mess as he does what he's told, finishing with Ted's name on his tongue and Ted's teeth in his shoulder.

"Fuck," He mumbles, and almost doesn't realize Ted's still fucking him or biting him, for a moment it's just him in a foggy haze of sweaty blissed-out paradise. And when he's back, it hits him like a wall thrown straight at him, all of it coming back like a flood as the overstimulation drives his nerves off the wall, and he lets out a whine. Of course, he doesn't hate it, but he sed can't take it for much longer. He grunts, the new marks on his shoulder sting, and he tries to think of an actual sentence, which is hard, it's hard to think over Ted's thrust and his coaxing words of praise.

"Fuck, Ted." He gets, which means he can say some things, and whines again as Ted hits his prostate, and it's on the verge of what he isn't about to try and handle. "S too much." Is what he decides will work, and lets out a sigh and a moan as Ted acknowledges him, the world gradually slowing down as it spins around him. Ted's cock is slow in him, brushing up against his walls and it's still good, and he still loves Ted fucking into him, and clenches around him.

And somehow, that's what does it for Ted, which he guesses he's thankful for because he does want Ted to finish with his dick not in his ass, and he was getting pushed just a bit past his limits.

Ted's pulling out and Schlatt lets his body fall completely into the mattress, feeling near boneless, and perfectly fucked. He groans, just a little tired, and winces when he remembers he came, as in there's cum on his stomach. He quickly rolls over, revealing the mess and frowning at the bed, instantly looking at Ted, who tosses the condom on the bin next to his desk, and flops back into the mattress with a careless wave. "Give me a second, I'll take care of it."

Schlatt stirs, then ultimately comes to the conclusion he should have Ted pick it up if he's willing, it means less work, after all. So he nods, staring up at the ceiling. "Okay."

He can feel Ted's gaze on him, and curiously looks over, giving him an accusing glare. "What?"

"Wow, is that all I get?" Ted asks, acting terribly offended, and Schlatt scoffs before looking away.

"For now," He says, and Ted shuffles around for a moment, then hums.

"I have a feeling that for now means never, Schlatt," He teases and Schlatt turns to face him, Ted offers a smile, and Schlatt kisses it right off his face, craning his neck over, and ignoring how sincere it all feels.

"There, dick."

And Ted seems to be happy enough with it. So they lay there, naked, far too sexed-up to have any serious conversations, and neither mention whether they're going to talk about it or not, and neither of them hate that.

So, when the ice cream is done and Ted has to whip out the camera again, it's really only their business why their faces are so pink and they just keep touching and yeah, Schlatt does just switch their spoons for no reason and yeah, Ted did have to pay him another twenty to convince him to try the spinach flavored ice cream.

But he's not actually a money whore, guys.

#smut #fanfic #mlm smut #ted x schlatt #schlatt x ted #ted nivison #schlatt #schlatt smut #ted nivision smut #cameracapturedseries #smut fic

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