tyran-the-tyranical

[tyran-the-tyranical]

👁️👁️ new animation on the way…

[tyran-the-tyranical]

HELLO

This is just an update post on a little (it's so not little) comic I'm working on rn. (The updates are at the bottom (ง •_•)ง)

OKAY, for starters this is a kinda scrapped first ver of the first few pages. It's scrapped because it was just a test/thumbnailing for how I want the first pages to be, but I salvaged some things in it.

It's chaotic but it wasn't meant to be the serious storyboard, especially since there's very little references for inside the keep so I'm going to cut those early scenes so it just cuts to when she arrives at the door. The chess opening is cut as well, EXCEPT, I'm planning on doing chapter covers and I want to keep the two pawns on the chessboard as the chapter cover for the first chapter.

Okay...

This is also chaotic but these are just the closest designs I've been happy with for the Tarnished, these are not the first times I've designed her, actually her design has changed SO much, originally she's just a character in my own story but I use her for a lot of fan stuff, like BG3 and etc, so I just used her for the elden ring fic too lol.

This was an old ver of her planned design, don't look at her ass, ignore it.

(This was actually a scrapped ver of the drawing below)

Anyway, I didn't like it. There was also another design...That I shall not name nor show (Its ugly asf, I called the file burn with fire)

There was also this design, which wasn't bad but wasn't what I was looking for. Tbh her design still needs work but I'm happy with how it looks now, it just needs a few more tweaks.

This is actually what she looked like in the early sketches of her more finished design, I fixed her proportions and switched the armor, at this point I was trying to find an art style more suited for a comic and also her herself. I'm very stuck between either anime/cartoony and realism and I want the comic to be semi-realism, and my biggest issue is I always make the eyes too big lol.

Like this was the closest I've gotten to the design I want for the comic but it's too realistic and detailed so I need to simplify it alot.

Now, I want to make it clear, I want this comic to really be/look good, I've made comics in the past now and again but they're never too crazy, but if I can get chapter one done, I'll be happy, but yknow as it stands it's still in like pre-production where I'm trying to plan things out, so probably not this year 〒▽〒

Though I'd really like to get the comic before Act 3 since that act is gonna have a lot of payoffs, and I don't want the fic to spoil something really good that the comic hasn't got to yet, and the comic has a lot to catch up to, but I'm also planning on cutting things or condensing them down since act 1 kinda meanders in the ruins of Rauh and I could so cut a lot of that down.

I've been very reluctant to describe the Tarnished bc even though I have a backstory for her and a character arc planned, she's s nameless Tarnished and I always feel like people would rather her be a blank slate, undescribed, especially in the fic, but in the comic that's unavoidable so therefore not an issue, but if anyone is genuinely interested in what she looks like, the concept art is basically that, tho it's not exactly finished or complete, I'll update again once I've done it tho!

And another wip of their designs, not entirely finished but just there :D the colors still need work

Edit: here’s a heavily censored version of the first ten storyboard pages (it’s obviously not much but at least the first few pages are completely planned now 🥲) rlly into color scripting atm

(PSSST, there are actually two other finished designs of her, one from the first day she was in the lands between and one for the future/ending, there is supposed to be another one for her real past but I haven't designed it yet etc, I can't show you either bc spoilers, but remember when I said the helm motif thing will come back? yes, but funnily enough her early design for the past scares me more than her other ones, ok maybe scares is a bit of an exaggeration, but especially with how she was before she OK I'll shut up now )

(Another lil secret wip for the meantime too...I had to remove his scoliosis 😔) it's all just sketches but we're getting somewhere 👁👁

Edit: he may not look like this exactly in the end, too round, not angular enough 👁👁

Updates:

[tyran-the-tyranical]

Ok so here's a text post explaining why I think it's kinda obvious that Messmer is directly Radagon's son :PPP since I either don't see many ppl talk abt it or see ppl outright deny it so let me try get my interpretation out there into the world. You don't have to agree with it I just want to put my thoughts into a cohesive post.

Just a heads up. This post will end up having me sound like I'm insane.

But tbh most ER theories will have you like that and we're here to have fun are we not. So what if I sound a lil insane at times. I think that's normal (I will try to be as consise as I can I promise)

I will now start with the weakest evidence.

Theme song.

As you may know, since its been pointed out a lot, Messmer's theme is reminiscent of Radagon's.

I believe this does point to a connection to them. After all, this is a method uses by FromSoft with other characters. For example, Romina's theme song is reminiscent of Malenia's, with it sounding slightly altered to show Romina likes the rot whilst Malenia does not. They're connected through the rot god.

Same with PCR's theme and Starscourge Radahn. SR's theme sounds more tired and weak due to Radahn rotting, whilst PCR's sounds more triumphant and heroic. After all, it's meant to be Radahn at his prime, not at his lowest like with SR.

So naturally, Messmer's theme being reminiscent of Radagon's is an indication of something. But that something, so far is vague.

Maybe it's because they're both attached to an idealised version of Marika. Maybe it's because they both uphold an order of hers, Radagon with the GO and Messmer with his crusade and subsequent occupation. Ideals Marika no longer follows, but people close to her do.

As I said, this is possibly the weakest evidence. But it's the starting point that there is some sort of connection. That connection judt being Marika, for now.

Now, the second weakest evidence (imo)

Messmer's looks.

Perhaps one of the most glaring things about Messmer is his red hair. Radagon's children, with the exception of Miquella, all have red hair. So when you see a demi god with red hair, it's fair to assume you'll think they're Radagon's child. Hell, this goes for more than demi gods. This goes for the fire giants and potentially even leone misbegotten warriors.

But,,,, well, there's a reason why this is the second weakest evidence.

Because, there is a possibility that one of Radagon's children, besides Miquella, also didn't have red hair. Rykard's hair colour is surprisingly a topic of debate. There's evidence for him having red hair, but also for him being blond.

If Rykard is truly blond, this would mean that Marika's genes carry through Radagon even if he doesn't have children with her (well-- they are the same person after all). Who's to say it isn't the same case for Messmer? Who's to say Messmer has red hair because Radagon's genes carry through Marika, as they are the same person after all.

Maybe Messmer has the same condition as Radagon, where Radagon's red hair is potentially a curse of the fire giants, perhaps Messmer's is a by-product of his fire.

Again, this evidence is weak for a reason. But like the precious one, it hints at a connection.

Third (and last) weakest evidence: (weaker) themes

Messmer is a character of many themes. But one of his parallels is one he has with Malenia.

They both try to uphold and fight for an order of someone they care for. That someone also being a god (well, miquella was an empyrean but he does eventually become a god). A god with golden hair, and a god who weaves gold in their order (gold for Marika and unalloyed gold for miquella). Messmer and Malenia both have red hair, both are blind, and both are cursed from birth. We know Malenia's curse comes from an outer god, but Messmer's seems to he more mysterious. Still, nonetheless both are cursed from birth.

Messmer being a son of Radagon would further emphasis these themes. Him having a child that wants to uphold Marika's will, but then having another willing to do anything to do anything to replace it (going as far as to break her needle and bloom), would fit nicely thematically.

Still, it's not the strongest of evidence. It's nice, nonetheless.

Now, onto what imo are the stronger sets of evidence.

Starting out with the 'weakest' of the strongest: Gaius' remembrance.

Let's look at what the description of his remembrance says.

This is probably one of my most crackpot theories too. But whatever I like so kkkkkk let's move on.

The usage of the word 'elder brother' is what I want to draw attention to. Personally when I first read this remembrance, this was my legit reaction:

BROO maybe this is me being insane and delusional but I don't understand why this isn't talked about further by anyone!!!! The game says both were elder brothers to Radahn.

Now. Yes this could just be the game saying Messmer and Radahn were bros and since Messmer was older he was considered an older brother to Radahn like how Gaius was.

But. FromSoft very much pays attention to details. Including the words they use. Messmer is very obviously Marika's son, is it far-fetched to say they weren't aware of what they were doing when writing that description??

This is the same game company that enjoys seeing all the fan interpretations even if they clash with one another.. they defo wrote this knowing some would read it as Messmer being a metaphorical older brother whilst others will read it as him being his literal older brother.

Mind you, this isn't the first time they've done this. They do it in another instance of the DLC! And it's one I don't see many talk about either. Miquella calling St Trina his love can be both read as her being a manifestation of his love, or her being a part of himself that he loves. Trina being called his fate, rather than love, in the trailer means the waters are further muddied on what Miquella means by "his love".

But anyways, I'm just saying FromSoft is very deliberate with their words and what they choose.

It'd be a nice way to contrast Gaius' and Messmer's characters; one Albinauric, another a Demi god. One in one of the most mistreated races, and another born of divinity. They are opposite in man ways, but they looked past it and found common ground where a friendship could flourish.

It's also just generally a nice double play on the word brother. Very cheeky. Hidding two stories in plain sight with one word is exactly up FromSoft's alley, and they write it very well too.

This evidence, coupled with other evidence, leads me to believe that what FromSoft means is that Gaius is a metaphorical older brother whilst Messmer is a literal older brother (even if he himself does not know this and only sees himself as an older brother in a metaphorical way).

The next theory is another one that relies on themes. But well. Elden Ring is no stranger to those.

Let me just point out, every marriage Marika is involved in results in three children.

Marika/Godfrey; Godwyn, Morgott and Mohg.

Radagon/Rennala; Radahn, Rykard, Ranni.

And yet, with Marika and Radagon, it's just Malenia and Miquella. But then who could be the third child? Would FromSoft really not continue this very clear pattern?

Messmer fills the spot of third (but actually first since hes oldest?) quite nicely.

He'd help create a parallel between Marika's marriage with Godfrey and her marriage with Radagon. In both marriages, she has twins cursed by outer gods. But Messmer was born cursed whilst Godwyn was not because Messmer was born of the same god. Even in name, Godwyn takes after Godfrey, who unlike Marika does not have to carry the burden of his sins. But Messmer couldn't escape from that in the same way.

But, couldn't Melina potentially actually be the third child?

Well, not really, because Melina's themes wouldn't fit that. If she were to be the secret third child, she'd be following convention. But part of Melina's character is that she breaks convention-- particularly she helps you break convention. And that theme is best portrayed by having her actually be the fourth child of theirs.

As I discussed before, thematically Messmer and Malenia fit together because they both wish to uphold an order. In this case, they'd take after Radagon (who is also potentially cursed who couldve guessed...). Miquella and Melina take after Marika, as she is a god, like Miquella, and they both additionally have other halves. Marika also wants a new order, like Melina. Melina is fine with sacrificing herself to being about a new age, just like Marika, and knows she needs to die, not only for the Erdtree to burn, but also because all of Marika's influence must end. She, unlike Miquella, is successful because she learns from Marika's mistakes, because Miquella doesn't realise he'd be like his mother.

It also fits the running theme of Miquella being paired up with Malenia and Messmer being paired up with Melina (one closed eye, both having a vision of fire, which is dangerous to the erdtree) (and by paired up I mean storytelling wise ok 😭)

This briefly became abt melina.. whoops. I like her a lot in case you can't tell. Haha I could say more abt her but lets stop here. The main take away is; Messmer would be the third child of her union with Radagon (obviously cuz she would have to have him before she married Radagon), with the Empyrean twins and Omen twins fitting the role of twins cursed by outer gods, and Melina being special so she gets to be a 4th child uwu

Now. For the strongest theory imo. The butterfly theory.

Perhaps it's already been said, but it's simply not talked abt enough.

The butterfly theory, at least to me, is basically saying each child Marika has with Radagon is represented with a butterfly.

Messmer's only showed up in the DLC bc he's DLC exclusive ofc. But also because he was hidden away in the LoS.

We know the nascent and aoenian buttlerfly 100% correspond to Miquella and Malenia.

As for Melina and Messmer; the smoldering butterfly is said to kindle fires; Melina is the kindling maiden, and she self immolates to burn the erdtree. Even the "vision of fire" line in Messmer's kindling most likely refers to her. Again, wording is very important to FromSoft.

The black pyrefly butterfly is obviously Messmer's, as its said to follow lands scorched by Messmer's flames. They also resemble his fire in colour. And again, they are DLC exclusive and only appear in the LoS.

The reason why these 4 get butterflies and the other demigods don't, is because these 4 are specifically the children of Marika and Radagon. What else could connect them? What else sets them apart from other demigods?

Timeline issues.

I will briefly address these.

As I said, I believe Messmer and Melina are paired up. The Empyrean twins are twins, so timeline wise they showed up together. Imo, it seems Melina is the youngest, and obviously Messmer is the eldest. The start, and the beginning. Again it fits their stories and characters. They even have the same eye closed! With one due to Marika and the other potentially being due to GEQ... oh my.

I believe, personally, Marika has Messmer after ascending and marrying Godfrey, making Messmer a child made outside of marriage. And guess what I'm abt to say..... yes that also fits his theme kkkkkk since he's separated from the other demi gods-- who were not born outside of marriage-- and also goes with Messmer being cast away in the LoS, hidden and separated from everyone.

How do I know Marika has Messmer after marrying Godfrey? Well, its complicated, but this video explains nicely;

I dont agree with some points in the video. However, it's still an excellent video I recommend you watch. It has some excellent points and wonderful analysis. I like it a lot!!!!

The main point I want to point out, that the video shows nicely, is that Marika's marriages are shown through the ribbons on her arms. By her hair and crown, we can tell she's already a god. And by her having one armband, we can tell she's married one-- to Godfrey.

Personally, due to the description of the minor erdtree spell saying "the kindness of gold without order", I am led to believe Marika is gold and Radagon is order, akin to St Trina being Miquella's fate.

I will not get into Radagon's origins, tho I do believe he's always been marika. But if he is Order, then Marika is able to have a child with him after becoming a god and marrying Godfrey. Since it leaves a nice window of time between Godfrey winning against the fire giants and thus the era of the erdtree being established, and then Radagon showing up in the Liurnian wars. In my mind, I don't see why it's not possible.

Why would she have her first child with Radagon? Lol, who knows. Maybe since he is Order, she wanted her child to inherent that trait (as she hadn't grown to hate the Golden Order by now, its early in the timeline). Maybe she wanted her firstborn to be a child of one god. Maybe she wanted to retry and make Shamen again. Who knows, really.. tho personally I lean more to the first option I gave.. It'd make more sense, in terms of character development.

And now, does Messmer know of Radagon? Who knows! Perhaps he's including Radagon when speaking about his mother, knowing they're the same person so he addresses them as one. Or maybe he thinks Godfrey is his dad. Or maybe Marika told him he has no father. Or maybe he knows of Radagon, doesn't know he's Marika, and just doesn't care who is dad is. Honestly, this question can have many answers lol.

Hopefully this made sense. I am writing this quite late at night (-.-)Zzz・・・・ if I have anything else to add.. I prob will later. I'll go over grammar and spelling mistakes after I wake up. Forgive my eepy brain. Hopefully I remembered all my points. And hopefully this was cohesive.

If you have anything to add pls don't hesitate to do so :3<<<<

[tyran-the-tyranical]

Possible inspiration for Messmer

I don’t know if anyone’s come to this conclusion yet (tbh ppl probably have but ima continue anyway) , but I have a possible inspiration for Messmer: Méche and his three serpents.

There are a lot of different cultural myths that inspired Elden ring, and there’s a lot of Irish inspiration too, and I cannot read about Méche and not think Messmer was inspired by him. For instance:

“Berba — into it the three snakes which were in the heart of Méche, son of the Mórrígan, were cast, after he was killed by Mac Cecht in Mag Méchi.”

Okay, for starters, Méche is a (supposed) son of the Irish goddess of war called the Mórrígan. The issue with his birth is, as stated above, is that he was born with three snakes within his heart (or he had three hearts with a snake in each but same thing), and well doesn't Messmer also have three snakes? his two outer ones and the abyssal serpent within,

And don't get me started on the whole naming convention of Mórrígan/Méche and Marika/Messmer. But sadly for Méche this was a big no-no due to his snake's destructive nature, and as a result, they killed him and his snakes, but there's also a little more I want to delve into:

Berba (Poem 13)

The Barrow, enduring its silence,

that flows through the folk of old Ailbe;

a labour it is to learn the cause whence is called

Barrow, flower of all famous names.

No motion in it made

the ashes of Mechi the strongly smitten:

the stream made sodden and silent past recovery

the fell filth of the old serpent.

Three turns the serpent made;

it sought out the soldier to consume him;

it would have wasted by its nature all the kine

of the indolent hosts of ancient Erin.

Therefore Diancecht slew it:

there was rude reason for clean destroying it,

for preventing it for ever from wasting

above every resort, from consuming utterly.

Known to me is its grave where he cast it,

a tomb without walls or roof-tree;

its evil ashes,–no ornament to the region

found silent burial in noble Barrow.

(The Metrical Dindshenchas)

So, in this description, they describe how they 'buried' his ashes in the river Barrow, and they describe it as a sort of cleansing of his snakes due to the water being ' a tomb without walls or roof-tree.'  It kind of speaks about the water's purifying nature of the serpents' corruption. Why am I bringing this up?

Well, another major theme about Messmers' area in-game is that everything is randomly flooded; there's water everywhere around the keep (ok maybe not everywhere but u get what I mean) there are flooded areas of just water and I even think under there that there's something to do with a corpse of godwyn beneath one of the flooded areas but don't trust me 100% on that, anyway, the presence of water and especially flooding his keep and the places around it kinda calls back to Méche and his death, but idk it's probably just a coincidence since still water already has meaning in the main game with the whole scarlet rot thing and all, but I just thought it was interesting to mention.

[tyran-the-tyranical]

I actually made this as a cover for a fic I'm writing on ao3, I'll link it below bc I'm shameless and it's a free self-plug sooo

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59337559/chapters/151335763

(This is the actual finished ver, but idk why it’s so dark on mobile oof)

[tyran-the-tyranical]

Did-Bits About The Fic and Scrapped Content

OK, welcomeeee, i'm gonna start chapter by chapter, though not every chapter will have interesting things to say (Bridge over troubled water is the worst chapter in the whole fic, oops) also there will be a little confession at the end of this.

The Compromise

This was actually supposed to be two chapters before I went with the whole 2-3k words per chapter goal, lol. So, the whole "reeks of death" thing was mostly due to it literally having visages of death everywhere, like those sailboats with screaming souls? Epic. I briefly mentioned this in one of the notes, but the whole stone thing rejecting oneself, yea that was a parallel between Messmer and the Tarnished, ofc in different ways but the message is still the same. You'll notice throughout there'll be a lot of comparisons between the two, as I intended the two to mirror each other. Still, unlike Messmer, I have also briefly hinted at another person the Tarnished will mirror, but it is extremely subtle, like one throw-away line brief. It won't materialize until Act 2, speaking of, I only have 2 acts in mind but if Act 2 keeps building up it may be 3 but no promises.

I'm looking back over the chapter as I write this since it's been a while but that raven sure came out of nowhere, but he has a purpose, as he kinda mirrors or symbolizes both the Tarnished and Messmer, mostly Messmer. I like to think Messmer sees her as a deliverer of death, an angel of death if you will, which ravens are associated with, but also the raven for the most part, he's trapped slowly dying with his bird friends all around him, and she believes he's just inclined to die, but he still fights back, deep down he still wants to live, and when she gives Messmer that choice, even though he's severely reluctant to it, some part of himself still wants to live, just like the raven.

OK, one of my favorite little bits is when she returns and she's like so this is where you choose to rot, and he looks to his mother's statue because, for a brief moment, he thinks it's her, but when she says she needs him alive he realizes it's not Marika, SGBABAABAO angsty I know. But I demonstrate how he internalizes himself, he desperately wants his mother to love him but is more readily to accept her disgust of him than her wanting him to live, he's that worn down.

I really didn't want him to just readily accept her proposal either, initially, he doesn't, he out right refuses and doubles down until she comes back and he's almost forced into accepting it, it's the same with his hatred for the Hornsent, because even though he claims its for my mom I swear, I like to think he's taking out his own self-hatred onto them, most likely sub consciously though, and this whole path of getting him out of the keep isn't going to be easy, and it takes a long ass time for him even to accept the idea that he was abandoned later one because he blocks it out, doubles down but the truth is too painful to confront, but the Tarnished is the one pushing him to confront it, and I'll speak more abt that in the next chapter.

Lastly, the whole snake thing writhing within him at the perfect moment was deliberate (also plot but still) since I like to think that the serpent within him, the abyssal one, despises Marika, haha deep down he despises his mother, anyway, and when the Tarnished offers him away out of his confinement, his duty in the keep, it stirs it to life, pressuring Messmer to accept.

Discarded

This was a great chapter, as in setting things up. See in my prep work I wanted a reason why Rellana and the Tarnished are different and their approaches to Messmer, they both have ehhh somewhat virtuosic goals if not painted by ulterior motives. So I settled on this; Rellana is comforting and kind while the Tarnished forces Messmer to confront uncomfortable truths and is entirely indifferent and cold to him. I think Rellana had good intentions but inevitably left him complacent in his own whatever, but also it's not her job to tell him murder is bad, tbh she joined him so I doubt she cared too much lol.

OKok, so the candle, the candle is important gamers, it represents the last flickering hope her has for his mother, and by the last chapter (spoilers) he realizes it burnt out a long time ago, and with that, his hope was gone a long time ago. Another point of symbolism is Rellanas helm, this will actually have a parallel in act 2 but that's hush hush for now. Anyway, it's like he's carrying that guilt of his comrades with him, he still burdens himself and wants to carry their memory, but it's also an act of punishing himself, he even says he doesn't like looking at it later on, the memories are tainted now and are too painful.

Funnily enough the whole reason I made the fic is bc I'm picky and I wasn't finding the fic I wanted to read so I made it, that means that Messmer and the Tarnished actually fucking hate each other, like they don't just accept what the other says, he calls her out for shit and vice versa, they're not pushovers or ready to warm up to each other, (spoilers) even by the last chapter they still fucking hate each other lol. The enemy part in enemies to lovers I'm afraid.

So, the dead fire knight was hinting towards Hornsent later on, it took longer than I expected but, he was the one to kill (I think its Salza?) at the bridge. Speaking of the bridge, I kinda realized I never gave a good description of the Tarnished, but I supposed she is unnamed and is basically a blank slate I do have more planned for her in Act 2, see an issue I came across was I had to compensate for her since you don't know anything about her, and tbh still doesn't lol. Anyway, I used them describing their initial impressions of each other as a good segway to include a brief description of her.

A Pink Sky

First things first- I accidentally sent them the wrong way, the hippo? yea, that was a mistake that I just rolled with. (it was not the only time I did this) Also, the Betrayal is completely non-canon, except that I think there are actually some banished knights dead behind the keep, otherwise, I made it the F-up senator. Also this is the first instance of Messmer kinda being reckless, initially before their talk in the next chapter I kinda wanted him to come across as reckless because deep down he kinda already subconsciously wanted to die, he wanted a release and he knew he wasn't going to leave the realm of shadow and he couldn't disobey his mother and kill himself.

Secondly, the pink sky title was supposed to foreshadow Romina but that took awhile also to get to, anyway, it was there.

Funnily enough, this is also the first chapter I think where he's reconsidering their alliance and wants to just kill her, like I said, bro doesn't change his mind easily, he's still fixed on killing that tarnished. Also the first mention of Radahn by Messmer, lol. This si also where they clash for the first time since the fight, arguing about resting and all, so silly. Finally, this is also where she notices the Marika seal in his eye, and originally she was going to bring this up later in an argument, telling him he had secrets too or something, whatever it was scrapped.

also these quotes:

"The forgotten sun now began setting upon the land, leaving an empty sky, bathing the world in its feverish hues"

The forgotten SON, FEVERISH HUES, yea yea its literally does nothing but I thought it was cool.

"He made his way to join the graceless figure and her soon-to-be pyre."

Ngl I cooked with this line.

One more thing, so in the betrayal flashback he mentions how Rellana would touch his shoulder and comfort him, and then the Tarnished wakes him up in the same fashion- CINEMA, also this comes back later in the last chapter, so keep that in mind.

Azadi

Azadi is a brand of yellow pomegranate if I remember correctly, that's the only reason it's called Azadi other than the fact it means liberty and freedom in Persian lol. Anyway, this chapter had two big jobs to fulfill, change Messmers mind about killing her, and break the ice between the two.

Also, yess the pomegranate has meaning, literally everything in this goddamn fic does. oh, woe is I. See it was also supposed to be a choice for Messmer, live or die, cause they represent a few things but they can symbolize life and death, and blood etc, and the yellow is the whole liberty and freedom, he can choose that if he just makes the decision for himself, and luckily he just holds off on that answer instead of outright rejecting it.

I absolutely love how petty they are with each other in this chapter, they wear their feelings pretty plainly on their leave. Yet I also like how she pulls him up on his shit, when he wasn't prepared to fight or stood to the sidelines, how he's calling him out on his own death wish, and here it is again, he's rejecting the truth, and doubles down, in sort of a show to prove to himself that he doesn't want to die, how could he? She also brings back his serpents, I wanted them to be their own characters even if they serve such a minimal role in the story, especially since they don't really speak, they're more of silent companions if anything.

originally she was really going to call out his death wish, say she'd fulfill it if she helped her with Miquella but it scrapped it, or rather remixed parts of it in, it was too much so early in so I left it as a suggestion or implication than an offer.

Actually backtracking to his whole being distant in the hippo fight, I had a scrapped idea that still kinda made its way in, which is that he's very hands-off in fights, as in he does it from a distance instead of getting down and dirty with, I think she even calls him out to herself later too, but its to demonstrate his detachment from his actions, he physically separates himself from the act, a mental block if you will, so he can do these terrible things while also protecting his own mind from everything he's doing. Like I said it never truly made its way in, its only vaguely alluded to.

The ending is so telling too, i do have a problem with too much telling instead of showing but her holding the dagger to her chest cause not even she herself trusts him yet is so epic poggers yippee.

Flames of Ambition 

This is the chapter I had to scrap over 1k words on, originally it was all about her and Alexander's relationship but that didn't really matter since she hasn't made it to Farum Azula so Alexander is still alive, but I did keep a remnant of the scrapped chapter in. This also proposes an idea for why she's doing this, that she's just avoiding having to kill Melina, though that isn't the only reason, but was the catalyst for her heading to the lands of shadow at the very least, a lot of her actions aren't just caused by one thing, its more of a domino effect, and we'll see that later on and more in act 2 too. (also the line about Melina being consumed by her own flames of ambitions, muah, cinema)

Next off, the scene with the cursed blade was maybe a little too silly, but it reinforces her reason to kill again since she's just trying to spare Messmer, to see if she can do it, that once she picked him, she had to follow through less her whole EXPERIMENT be for nothing. Also for the next few chapters, its really me just building up a psuedo report between them, silently acknowledging the other and saving them, its reluctant but still shows teamwork.

O Mother 

I wonder how many ppl i tricked with this title, thinking its was something to do with Messmer? nahhh, funnily enough Hornsent says the same line in his dialogue, and like I said previously, I do think Messmer wants to hate the hornsent because it's like a scapegoat for himself, he's a hypocrite, hornsent, even so, says in his dialogue that you let him kill Messmer with you in-game. This chapter also propagates Messmers need for his mother's approval, that he believes he can earn back his mother's love if he aids the Tarnished in killing Miquella.

Can I just say, writing for the Ruins of Rauh was a pain in the ASS, this thing is a maze, I literally needed a map up for it and TWO walkthroughs the understand the layout and I still made mistakes lol.

Also, originally when Hornsent confronts her, I had him say Nay! but I changed the to Níl since all the inhabitants of the realm of shadows have Irish accents, and I'm Irish so slay gaeilge all day babezzz. This also is the first instance where you're kinda like oh yea fuck, Messmer did a lot of fucked up shit, the confrontation with Hornsent and later Romina, they're the worst of what he'll have to confront and they're rlly important even if they haven't had a huge impact yet, they will trust. Finally, this is also the first point where she shows a real act of vulnerability, its when she's faced with the death of someone she considers an ally, even if it wasn't reciprocated. this is a big theme for her and will be even more evident in act 2.

Bridge Over Troubled Water 

The only good thing about this chapter is its name and ITS WASTED ON SUCH A MID CHAPTER AFKAFN, I picked the title as a sorta ode to Hornsent, if he was talking with his wife and all. The intro is from Messmers pov and bro calls him a cur, so that just shows how little respect he has for the hornsent, which also extends to the Tarnished. Anyway the chapter probably would've been cool visually but its kinda mid, it just demonstrates how destructive Messmer can be and yeaa, that's about it.

Lightless Creatures 

Its feigned concern, don't worry, he needs her alive to get home and that's it guys. So in this chapter its him kinda being manipulative, being all nice and eating the fruit as a sign of trust, its just to get information but like he said before he rlly cant contain his emotions well, and he breaks character at the reveal of Marika in the erdtree. So the bird thing was planned before hand, the burnt tree and the raven, but the whole one for a sorrow two for yknow, that was a last minute idea so idk if it comes across as silly or what, but its there. It builds up tension, or rather its starts an idea, leaves it and then later there's the pay off.

Can I just say, it is a CRIME that Rellana and Romina got NO dialogue, NO cutscene, NOTHING, and the scraps they did have were well SCRAPPED?! criminal. Anyway, this is one of the first catalysts that sends the Tarnished into an existential crisis, like hse's had those thoughts before but they've just been amplified slowly over time and this is what teeters her over the edge. In act 2, there will be a scene that mirrors the Tarnished and will help explain why she also had such a big reaction to killing Rellana, besides being friends with Ranni and killing her aunt, oops. Anyway, I already said the thing about the raven so next chapter.

Pursuit of Misery 

That song unintentionally fit so perfectly with the lore of elden ring mannnn, anyway, this starts of with more examples of Messmer spiralling, he's rlly starting to question things now after he's gained that information and he reveals a lot of backstory and weight on why he does what he does. He feels he's burden, that he's the stain upon Marikas legacy, not the Tarnished or Hornsent, but him. See I have it planned that he values himself in comparison to his mothers approval, and if she says somethings got to go, its gotta go. I didn't write her telling him about the truth of the hornsent as her grooming him into killing them in the future or some manipulation, though I'm certain she used that in the end. just that it wasn't her original intention, that they had a rlly deep bond early on, that she made the seals for him even if she eventually gave up, she toiled over her son until she just couldn't do it anymore, to be met with failure over and over.

Anyway, him and the Tarnished reconcile, they make a promise to be besties or whatever, and more lore is revealed. I decided that he doesn't know about Mohg and Morgott, and that the Tarnished was basically nearing end game when she dipped. Another little thing I am toiling over is yet to be decided but will depend on this chapter, ye have been warned.

The Divine Comedy 

Divine beast = Divine comedy, haha

His snakes coil around him in his sleep, brooooo, cute. anyway, the dream is first introduced here, but ill talk about it when we get to it. Anyway, this is the second instance of me sending them the wrong way, but I had already written so much and I decided to use it as a bonding chapter, have them fight in unison. At the end she says he's enough, she referring to her goal of sparing one of her foes, if she manages to keep him alive instead of killing him, that would be enough.

Les Fleurs du mal 

Its named after a poem, thats also used in an anime called aka no hana, the evil flowers. Anyway, to the dream sequence. The hands reaching out is his guilt, straight up, like I've said this isn't some big redemption story but I don't want to shy away from any feelings he might have and the consequences of his choices. It also builds up his relationships more, even if briefly. The abyss you say? ohhh to the abyss you say? ohhhh lol it was just referencing the abyssal serpent.

Pride is another downfall of the Tarnished, I wanted her to have a lot of flaws, to be imperfect similar to the characters in the game. She has killed her fair share of people, some who probably didn't even deserve it. Also, Yura is mentioned again here, he will be very important. I think the Tarnished and Messmer are both very prideful but shes gotten to a point in her journey where she can confront it, maybe not entirely successfully but its a start, and so is Messmer joining the Tarnished, its a start if anything.

ROMINA MY BELOVED, god I love her, slay gurlll. Anyway, she's the biggest road block in Messmers doubling down, since arguably she was just collateral in his crusade, and so were the people in the church, no one would be spared after all.

Look at what you've created! I am the shadow of your misdeeds, of your flame, for you are that sorrow, not I."   this line cooks until the last part, I think I tried to cram too much in, but ehh.

This is also the chapter where the Tarnished confronts him head on, she really doesn't like him, but notice that never once until this point has she called him a monster, its only in regards to his actions does she finally do it. ( I was also panicking abt pronouns and if you knew what she I meant so romina uses they them now)

This is also when she reveals Radahn is back bby. It hits more since he was closer with Radahn than any of his others siblings, and you'll see that later on with Godwyn. At this point I think he just wants things to go back to their complacency, to rot in the keep, he doesn't want to confront these truths any longer and just abandons the Tarnished to fight them alone. Origianlly for the fic, I had them touring through the rest of the lands but timeline wise that didn't work out, but I think its for the best, since Rauh is still a bastion of what was, its full of life that's been taken from the rest of the land.

Your Sword, Your Flesh, Your Fire... 

The title is actually just a quote from Yura lol, but this is rlly important gamers. she looks very different from how she looked back after she defeated Godrick, this is also important and will come up in act 2. But for Yura, I'm just going to reveal it now, I'm setting up a kinda father-daughter vibe, obviously not literally but vibey. She was very different back in those early days, not nearly as jaded as she is now, still prideful tho if anything. So actually after the Gauis fight I was going t have the chapter where she goes to the shaman village bc (spoilers) that's the place she actually decides to spare her next foe, spare Messmer. All those little moments were leading there.

Prince Of Eternal Slumber 

or how it was originally titled; Prince of Death. The Godwyn flashbacks were actually a spur-of-the-moment thing, and originally they were supposed to serve as a parallel to the Tarnished, Messmer would've compared how annoying they were but it felt weird since they were going to end up in a relationship and he compared her to his brother, and it ended up way better with Thiollier, as she parallels Messmer already and she didn't end things with Thiollier on a good note either. Also, I'm aware Godwyn was in the capitol when the dragons attacked but let's just presume he had already made it back by then.

I really don't know why i didn't put what I originally planned in this chapter when I first posted it, I just thought having him spare Thiollier was irrelevant but like NO?! anyway its fixed now.

Once More To See You 

This one hurt to write, the title and the flashback, UH, it was too much. Anyway, its even worse now that she confuses Ansbach for him and then the last chapter happens. This chapter finally starts their interactions before the big show down and an important thing I want to call out, as the Tarnished ascends the towers shes constantly looking up, noticing the grandeur, while when Messmer climbs he's constantly looking down, taking in the past and his own destruction.

When Doubt comes, When Doubt Comes in 

Obligatory hadestown reference here. Also the raven as of now, makes his final return, I felt it fitting to have him with ansbach considering their design and all, its sweet.

Now I'm Ready, I'm Ready Now 

Daniel Hart reference? in my fic? its more likely than you'd think. I had another Godwyn flashback bc I rlly wanted to expand more on Messmer, forget the whole mommy issues, he had more to show with his other relationships and I started that with Godwyn. He didn't join his side as he didn't join his comrades sides when the Tarnished came. There's a lot to say about the Godwyn flashbacks, so much actually, but its 4am rn and I'm speeding through these now.

The imagery of leda with reddened eyes is sick tho.

Age Of Compassion 

weeeee, ok, Miquella flashback? yes. also he's in the same spot Messmer was in in the first Godwyn flashback, circular narrative am I right guys? so I actually had a lot of this chapter already planned before I even started writing, but mostly the end conversation between her and Messmer.

Miquella totally tries to try and manipulate Messmer btw, but similar to the Tarnished, he doesn't necessarily lie, and no he didn't reveal she killed the demi gods, she just thinks that, but he says something more hurtful but that he could believe was true, etc. anyway, he's finally broken down, his bestie Radahn is nerfed, his mother doesn't love him or so he thinks, his siblings are all dead, and so his he cant try and hide his feelings, or double down, he just wants oblivion, if you notice Miquella says consign you woes to oblivian and then he says he wants to consign himself, he is his own woe. angst.

so the candle going out from the first chapter is brought back here, he grasps at the sand demonstrating the loss of control he's feeling, and the two helmets is him kinda turning a new leaf but not exactly, he's more or less leaving that part of himself with Rellana there.

And finally, I was playing with the idea of her slapping him and everything but I left it out, just another scrapped idea that I should mention lol.

Ok, I'm just gonna come clean right now, I have never played the DLC, not once. base game? sure, but I actually got the game bc of the DLC but I haven't even bought it lol, that's why I kept fucking up the locations and getting them lost.

bonus, heres a glimpse of my onenote notes:, you'll notice some variations or cut things, but this is a tiny snippet of the mess of my notes lol. (broken english? yes)

Edit:

ok so I have some more scrapped content here that I'll show off, but tbh I might use some of it in act 2, its not super spoiler heavy, just scrapped dialogue or ideas, but just a warning before hand;

"Yes, let that be their legacy; Dying for nothing"  in reference to Messmer's comrades, this would've been after the Romina fight, and so would this quote here In reference to sparing Mesmer “And what do I have to show for it? You?” very enemies coded.

Next off, here's is a scrapped scene, like a real one this time;

Eventually on their mission, he'll bring up what he's done and she'll dismiss it; not because she's trying to comfort him, she simply says it's irrelevant to their mission. He'll try to press it further, assuming she's unaware of his actions or the extent of them but she'll immediately shut him down- It's hard to be ignorant to it within a place that's permanently scarred by it, she won't coddle him, they both know of his atrocities and him reminding her won't suddenly change her mind on sparing him. He might question this, why she wouldn't enact revenge and she'll state that there's no benefit from continuing that cycle of violence. She might bring up him expiating his guilt or sins and him stating he feels no regret, that he has no guilt (he is lying to himself, still holding onto his mother's graces.) Tarnished might scrutinize this but will leave it there, then there's nothing more to be said. 

There's nothing inherently wrong with this but like I said I wanted the Tarnished to really push him, so her dismissing his actions even if for the moment, felt too much like Rellana so I scrapped it.

another thing I want to bring up it this;

Her sparing him was just as much a selfish decision as he was for continuing his crusade even through his doubts or if he even believed in his actions. She might confide that sparing him is as much for her own need to believe in something beyond violence as it is for him.

This was an idea for a scene but it never really made it out of the idea phase, the second part is silly but the first part, that she's being selfish in letting him live, I really like it. Because it is kinda true after all, he wants to just die with his men, and end his suffering and all she's doing is prolonging it for her own goals, now I wouldn't go as far as comparing it to his crusade but they're both to some extent selfish, because him wanting to die is kinda escaping the consequences of what he's done.

Finally, during their last spat in the last chapter, she was originally going to say "I won't coddle this self-pity!"  and it would've been a call back to when Godwyn said something similar, but I didn't include it. Why? I forgorrr, legit. I had it in my dialogue tab and not my general idea tab and I just forgot to check. oops my bad. idk if I'll try wheeze its way back in there or leave it, but at least for now you know the truth.

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A remixed version from the first chapter, Remixed in that it doesn't exactly go like this and that she's wearing green, oops

(THIS IS FLIPPED BTW, his eye WAS on the right side but I thought it looked better the other way, what a fool I was)

Here's some other versions btwwww (before i flipped it lol)

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Another work in progress thing for that fic I’m writing… (her pose is so off tho, it makes her look like she’s going for a hand shake 😭 this may or may not be fixed)

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Drew a scene from a fic I'm writing, it's very very very rough, like as in half of their armor and EYES AND LEG are gone-

this will not be fixed.

EDIT: I KNOW I KEEP SAYING THIS IS A SKETCH AND IT IS- but Im a perfectionist and I don't usually post sketches, you have to believe me when I say this is NOT A FINISHED PRODUCTSBSJKB there's so much I would fix but Im gonna keep this up (also it's why I couldn't make the comic, with college and how I do art it would've gotten in the way, oof)

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The audio is from interview with the vampire btwwww

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please watch my stupid video i spent a long time on

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Raphael's Nose

I came across this post and it got me thinking. https://www.tumblr.com/deardarlingdevil/732586051569352704?source=share

In the post, deardarlingdevil, compared Raphael to Haarlep in both the male and female form and suggested that Raphael is insecure about some features including the bump on his nose, the small notch at the tip and his cleft chin. Not needing any excuse, I began to gaze, uh, examine Raphael's face in detail and I had an immediate thought.

Raphael's nose looks like it was broken, like Luke Wilson's nose. It would explain why Haarlep would have a totally different nose, so I looked it up. It is often hereditary but can also be caused by injury. https://www.healthline.com/health/dorsal-hump#causes "Trauma or injury to your nose can also cause a dorsal hump to develop. A bruise on your nose or a broken nose can result in a dorsal hump if the cartilage and bone heal unevenly."

That made me curious so I began to look at other parts of his face and I think, I may be completely wrong of course, but I think Raphael has faint, silvery scars to his forehead and the left side of his face. The right side is clear but the lines go from top of his head to his nose and from the top of his head down to almost his jaw in some places. Also, is his jaw uneven? On the left side of his face as well. Could Haarlep just be an undamaged Raphael?

I zoomed in on my phone which is how I noticed all of this. Am I nuts? I fully believe Raphael has experienced some gnarly shit including whatever made him leave his Dad's Circle of Hell. Cambions also don't have a great experience of life since their mothers often die at birth and their infernal parent usually doesn't give a shit. And then their his Father who can only be described as temperamental. In DnD, Raphael is described as being favoured by his father but by the time of BG3, that's clearly not the case. What kinds of fights has he been in?

What do you think? Am I seeing things that aren't there?

Haarlep for comparison:

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Writing Raphael i nGaeilge

So, I'm still buried in an immersive program in the Gaeltacht, and so, as my way of distracting myself and to procrastinate actually doing anything with this, have my list of headcanons for how I think he would sound i nGaeilge:

Uses predominately Munster forms of verbs -- "Táim" vs "Tá mé" -- Irish used to be a lot more synthetic language, verbs and their agents were smushed together, and Raphael's speech reflects that. (It isn't that he's from Cork, it's that he's old.)

He uses forms of words that are a little bit older, a little bit more poetic -- "folt" instead of "gruaig", "cú" instead of "madra." He isn't (predominately) using as many Old Irish features, because I don't associate him with the medieval period...he's using features from the Early Modern period. (Though since a lot of Early Modern Irish lit was borrowing from Old Irish, so it's kind of a cycle.)

Tends to answer questions with the older, formulaic answer, "ní hansa" "not hard to say."

Honestly if I could go absolutely batshit and actually compose , I'd replace his canonical poems with use of some features associated with Classical Irish -- lots of alliteration, use of deibhide (rhyming scheme in Irish), uses of dúnad (where the same word begins and ends the poem). Luckily enough for everyone involved, I cannot compose poetry in Irish, especially when I can barely compose i mBearla. That being said, he doesn't pay as much attention to metrics, highlighting that he is bending the rules for himself just as much as he's reinforcing them for everyone else.

Calls Tav "luchóg" or even "luchóg beag" (double diminutives ftw.)

In general, he just sounds slightly odd, dated, while still having this flowery side to the way he speaks -- not to the equivalent of Shakespearian English, since he's supposed to come off as a natural, but still...formal, slightly dated, and much more vocabulary rich than most other characters, with fewer English loan words. (Tá sé ann, not ábalta.)

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I’ve been looking at the visual inspirations for Baldur’s Gate 3; the obvious renaissance setting with some medieval design, also some art nouveau which yes might be a bit far off time wise but it still makes sense since it’s very fantasy nature inspired so fits the setting.

Yet one aesthetic I see throughout the game that rlly boggles me is the Art deco speckled in certain parts of the game. We mostly see it being used in Shars areas and The house of hope, and that makes sense since Raphael’s house just exudes excess and wealth, and while art deco kinda seems a bit out of place for the setting, makes sense with the specific places it’s being used, but what I don’t get is why it’s being used in shars areas?

Art deco was popularised in the 1920’s~ with clean geometric shapes and gold accents and was used in a time of wealth before the Great Depression, so it’s place in Raphael’s house like I said makes sense, but for someone like shar who is really the opposite of that, and is absense itself, I have to wonder why it’s used for her temple and general aesthetic? I wouldn’t say its her only aesthetic but its clearly there.

I understand perhaps wanting her temples to look good and that’s why, but it’s also in her armour’s aesthetic, the geometric moon shapes and all. Perhaps it’s because of how clean and simple of a look it is, there’s not a lot of crazy detail going in with art deco necessarily , it’s very streamlined, so maybe that’s why it’s associated with her.

Or maybe I’m looking way too into it and I’m crazy, slay anyway girl 💅

Other places like the underground foundry and even the submarine we’re on clearly are inspired by nautical steampunk designs as well, while I think still holding that art nouveau too.

The art nouveau style is also very present in the clothing of the characters, but not the clothing you may be thinking lol, their undergarments have these very similar designs like astarions and shadowhearts and maybe even minthara too, very swaying lines but even somewhat geometric too.

[tyran-the-tyranical]

cursed team up

Some time ago someone sent an ask (not to me) about tadpoled Cazador.

And I am here thinking what if instead of Astarion, Karlach and Wyll, it's Cazador, Raphael and Mizora who got snatched by mindflayers.

Raphael can't remove the tadpole due to it being a karsite tadpole, worst is has nerfed him to being basically a slightly empowered mortal man, Cazador is now walking freely under the sun but can no longer control his spawns and Mizora is basically a tiefling with wings at this stage and she's fucking pissed cause she also CANNOT torment Wyll.

All I am saying that we're gonna have a tadpole gang we need more evil peeps aside from Minthara to balance out the kinder folks.

And cause I so want these three to try and work together and be the most cursed team up to save the world from the Grand Design.

shit I thought up:

Raphael and Cazador will butt heads about WHO is in CHARGE. "It's me, I am the oldest and basically a Duke from Hell." Raphael will start and Cazador will be all, "And yet you got knocked down by an amorous boar and need ALL of our Cleric's spell slots to heal, sit down Duke and let a LEADER be in charge!"

Tav: So does anyone want a roast boar, cause that is some waste of meat here.

Mizora: What do you MEAN we need to climb that mountain? (tries to fly but her wings just can't, ya know?)

Raphael loves being cryptic and is TRYING to manipulate behind the scene but Mizora is NOT having this and tries to sabotage cause they're devils damn it. Somehow Mizora reminds Raphael of Haarlep and this offended her a lot. For some reason.

While Miz and Raph will try to make Tav side with the goblins, Cazador will refuse; not because he's being kind or pragmatic, it's because he's racist towards goblins and he would NEVER bow down to a drow.

Emperor has a perma headache trying to get these three to work cause the rest kind of need them but WOW he was so fucking tempted to just let them become mindflayers.

I'm gonna leave this crack of an idea here and hope some of y'all will add some more to this. ♥

[tyran-the-tyranical]

I’ve just realised something about one of Raphael’s employees..

Out of the three essential personnel that Raphael has one has always stuck out as odd to me; That being the Archivist.

First off, unlike Nubaldin or Korilla he doesn’t have a name. Even in Raphael’s logbook on his employees he’s just referred to as the Archivist. Secondly, his appearance, he’s a Mephistopheles’s tiefling and while not every tiefling has to have a strict color code they stick to, it’s funny how he’s red and not the associated blue.

Additionally, he’s specifically stated to have had his spine broken (most likely healed afterwards or just broken in places) due to “wandering”, as Raphael puts it in his logbook, he has a tendency to drift , which is obviously an extreme punishment for such a minor problem, yet compared to Nubaldin who let Gortash get away Raphael calls him a little shit and gives him a different job, and yes it’s presumed he was punished for his failure it’s never mentioned explicitly.

“Archivist - naughty boy, supposed to be looking after the collection, but has a tendency to drift. May have to start breaking his neck to give his spine a chance to recover.”

Now you may be wondering where I’m going with all this, and let me give you my big hypothesis; but first let’s look at this mf.

He has a very distinct look to him, yet still kinda a generic tiefling look; red skin, dark hair, etc. but there’s someone else who looks similar to him and this same person is also described as an Archivist.

“The arch devil Mephistopheles snatched up the crown and squirreled it away in one of his vaults. He is not more than a frigid archivist”

And in the DnD wiki, who else is described as having a generic classic infernal appearance?

“Mephistopheles played up his infernal image as much as possible, intentionally appearing as the classic archetype of a diabolical devil.”

Of course they’re not one to one, I believe Mephistopheles’s is usually depicted with much longer hair and white eyes but the likeness is totally there, like the facial hair… 💅

I also just think it’s perfect that he happens to be a Mephistopheles’s tiefling as well, really just driving the point home lol. Our home boy got some real big daddy issues for sure 😭 but also this is just a theory, a game theory lol

[tyran-the-tyranical]

Hey, what is this change in Raphael fanon you’re referring to? I think I noticed the same thing, but I wanted to make sure. Please don’t feel pressured to answer if you’re not comfortable with the question 🫶

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really liked your take on him and feel like nobody writes him like that anymore (the other writers who did also stopped).

Hey! Let me preface this by saying that this is in no way to dunk on the fandom. I think it's pretty natural that as time progresses, certain fanon takes "stick" / gain more traction / become more popular. It's also not to say that my perspective of the character is "good" and another is "bad", it's more that the current dominant fanon perception of Raphael (and Haarlep) doesn't resonate with me.

Over the past months, most part of the Raph!fandom that is visible to me seems to have arrived at the conclusion that Raphael is smitten with the player character, rather than him being a manipulative fiend that uses charm to get what he wants. That leads to characterizations of him where he "loves" a Tav/Durge/OC, where his actions get attributed as driven by that player character (as opposed to them being an important tool to him).

As someone who's written a somewhat softer Raph in my own fic (and I only barely made that work for myself by making him human, and the ending – SPOILERS – very much is intended to contradict any perception of him being selfless/in love/able to love how humans love) I don't think it's true of his character.

Him being able to love is an interpretation that I don't personally agree with. Of course people can HC that! More power to you!!! Have fun with it. It's just a take I don't enjoy because to me, it takes away a lot of the complexity and a core part of his canon personality.

Related to that there's, again, from my pov, an infantilization that comes along with that.

Raphael as incapable. Raphael as a helpless plaything for Haarlep. Raphael as a dork. Raphael as comic relief. Raphael showing up because he "loves" the character instead of manipulating them. And so on. Same as before: It's, to me personally, a reduction of his character, and quite frankly, boring. He is more powerful than this fanon version portrays him. He is more frightening, and ruthless, and evil, as fanon seemingly wants him to be.

For Haarlep it's even more so that he gets reduced to that funny side character. The darker sides of that character often gets left out. Again, the dominant fanon perception of that incubus feels very one-dimensional and underserving of the complexity and outright shrewd brutality Haarlep displays (and probably needed to survive for this long under Raphael's roof).

They're both evil characters. But they can't be in the current discourse. They're getting washed into a softy, funny, cutiepie version. And that's not what I think the characters are.

To some degree this also happens to Gortash btw. But I digress.

Again. Not saying this read on the characters is bad, it's just one I personally don't agree with, and that I don't find interesting.

Now to the part about people enjoying my take on him in my writing. First, thank you so much for saying that! I really appreciate it. And I mean, I do see that Keeping Score and Folie á Deux are still two of my most-read fics to date, with tens of thousands of hits altogether. But the thing is. People don't comment on finished/older fics, not to mention reblog them lmao. I'm pretty sure that Folie has gotten 50-65% of its hits after even the expansion (chapter 6) was written. Did it get any comments since then? Ha.

Keeping Score also got a significant number of reads after completion. But I can count the number of people (!) on one hand who commented since I finished it end of 2023. So. Unless you tell writers you enjoy their work, we won't know. Because I cannot tell who clicks on the fic and leaves again, or who devours it all in one sitting.

Sorry for the tangent. It's just a pity to hear now, all those months later, that there are people out there who liked my depiction of Raph when I was pretty convinced that no one actually cared. Anyway!

I hope this doesn't start any drama, because legit, I don't have beef with anyone. I am happy that character is giving so many people joy. I have my Gorty delusions to keep me entertained. But you asked, so here's a long answer, hoping I gave enough context to make it understandable.

Happy headcanoning and shipping, everyone <3