ultimatesimmers

[ultimatesimmers]

[ultimatesimmers]

Hazel hear a knock at her front door and walks outside to see Lance with a bag on his shoulder.

“She kicked me out….I told her about the baby.” Lance explained. 

Hazel opened her door wide and stepped back to let Lance come in and follows him back in.

“I don’t know what to say Hazel….” he said. 

“I do. Bathrooms on the left and the the couch pulls out to a bed but isn’t very comfortable. There’s an air mattress in the closet, behind the front door. The fridge is all free game.”

Hazel gets halfway up the stairs and shouts, “Except the ice cream and pickles! Those are not! And lock the front door, your ex is crazy!”

Lance laughs, “she really is though” he says to himself.

[ultimatesimmers]

Weeks passed and Lance tried and tried to get a hold of me. He sent me texts after text and calls after calls, but I kept ignoring the calls and texts. This went on for about 8 weeks until they completely stopped for about another 4 weeks. At this point I hadn’t seen Lance since Hawaii and that was almost 4 months ago. I did a whole lot of online shopping. I barely left the house. I couldn’t face the world. I couldn’t handle that the best 6 months of my life, were the worst for others. That my actions caused so much heart-ache. I’ll admit when I  didn’t hear from Lance, I was really happy. I figured that meant he worked things out with his wife. And at the same time, that made me really sad. i didn’t want to be with him. I didn’t trust him in the slightest but I couldn’t help but be jealous and I know I have no right, but I’m only human.

For the first time since I moved, I decided to go for a walk. I hadn’t had a chance to enjoy the view of the water. I walk only walking the lake for a few minutes when I heard a sound following behind me, to my surprise, Lance stood behind me, I turned around slowly. “Hazel I” he said and stopped mid sentence when he looked at me. “Hazel….Oh my…Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” I took in a deep breath. “I think I’ve caused your family enough pain, don’t you?” I said irritated. “Hazel, it’s my baby isn’t it?” he asked carefully. “That’s a really stupid question Lance. Of course, he’s yours….” Lance started to tear up. “It-it’s my boy?” I tried not to smile but it was the first time I had really got to talk about the baby. And I know I shouldn’t be, but I was excited that he was excited for the baby. I smiled from ear to ear. “His name is Elli…. that’s what I’ve been calling him…” Lance whipped tears from his face. “That’s a beautiful name… Hazel how far along are you?” he asked. “Almost 23 weeks…. Lance…. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just… I didn’t know what to do or say. Or how? Do I show up at your house with your other family? Do I call your phone and hope your wife doesn’t answer?” I asked sarcastically. He took in a deep breath, “I know I put you in an impossible situation… but I can’t change it, all I can do is try to make the circumstances better. I know that I went about this all so wrong but I’m trying to make everything right.” he tried to explain. “I-I don’t know what that mean and I’m not really sure if I want to, but I guess only time will tell.” I said. “I guess so,” he agreed.

[ultimatesimmers]

Lance, texted me a few hours later. I didn’t even know what to say. He says Allison is unstable. And maybe she is, maybe shes not but her husbands been cheating on her for months of course her rational thinking is a little clouded. And I’m trying not to blame myself for this families falling apart, but how could I not? I didn’t know about the, but when I take a step back and look I feel even more guilty for not noticing all the signs, how could I have been so stupid? How did I not ever really care about his house. Hes a doctor for crying out loud, how did I not think that was weird? But at the end of the day...none of that matters. It doesn’t matter at all. all the little signs I missed won’t fix whats broken and it won’t give me courage, or love. It won’t make his wife not exist.... It won’t change a thing...

[ultimatesimmers]

She came storming out of the house and it took me a minute to realize she was coming right at me, right when I was about to restart my car she aggressively knocked on my window. “What the hell! You followed me? Who the hell are you?” I rolled down my window slow and only half way and took in a deep breath before I spit out the words. “You’re really Allison Mongomery?” She looked at me in disbelief. “Yeah! Who are you? Do I know you? Does my husband know you?” When she said the word husband my skin started to crawl, I hated those words… “I have kids inside! can we speed this up! Why are you here?!” she yelled in a hurry. “Okay…” I said calmly taking in another deep breath. “This is gonna sound crazy. And you’re probably not gonna believe me. I promise I’m not here to hurt anyone. I was just…curious I guess… I don’t know,” I explained and she waved her arm impatiently, gesturing for me to hurry up and finish explaining. “I’m going to get out the vehicle. Please don’t hit me.” I slowly got out and she steeped back staring at me. As soon as I shut the door and turned towards her I began to explain. “My name is Hazel. I just moved here to get away from my life there. I stumbled into that store to buy a few things because my stuff won’t be here for a few days. I didn’t know you lived in this town or I wouldn’t have moved her, I swear….” She got angry again, “that still doesn’t explain how you know me! Or how you knew me before you even moved here!” she shouted once again. “Allison, i know your husband. I knew him Hawaii and we had an affair.” I took a step back to avoid being attacked. “We were together for 6 months, until a week ago I found about you and I immediately ended it.” Allison stayed silent staring at the ground for a minute as we both stayed silent. She lifted her hand like she was about to say something but no words came out. She then lowered her hand and immediately covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. “Please leave. Please go Hazel. Thank you for the information….” She then turned around and walked back into her home quickly. I knew there had to be more to all… She was so upset… And I’m sure she has questions for me but her mind is not wright at this point. I put my name and phone number on a paper and slipped it in her mailbox. I felt so guilty. She was distraught… What did I do…

[ultimatesimmers]

A: Hello. Miam? Are you alright?

(I was shook, i didn’t know what to do but I knew I couldn’t look her in the eyes and I didn’t know if she knew me or who I was, did she think I followed her?)

H: Yeah… I’m fine.

A: Did someone hurt you or threaten you? I seen you leave your cart. So I bought your stuff and brought them for you out here.

(Great… and shes nice…)

H: Oh no.. you didn’t have to do that. (I reached in my purse and handed her some money, I handed her way more than I knew my bill would be because after all I did sleep with her husband)

I popped my trunk and she put the bags in. I was mortified. I didn’t know what to do. What do you do in this situation. Do you shout out the truth, do you lie or do what I did and act like a total stranger. At this point my conscience was weighing heavy. I wanted to tell her, I wanted to so badly, but what was I supposed to say, “thanks for your concern but i actually ran because I’m the other woman,” or “thanks for buying my stuff and by the way I slept with your husband for over 6 months…” No words seemed appropriate. But no the less, eventually she deserved to know. I contemplated what to do so I decided to let her go to her car and watch which direction she went…. and I followed her.

I stayed about two cars behind and she drove and drove and drove. Almost 30 minutes away and she pulled down a dirt road. And that’s when it hit me. Crap… she knows I’m following her… she got out if her car at a very nice house. When she got out two little girls and a large dog greeted her. I watched them all go inside as I tried to get up the courage to knock on their front door.

[ultimatesimmers]

1 week time jump

A week had passed and all of my moving was complete and I had purchased a small home about three hours away from my old town to insure I wouldn’t run into lance at all. His memory would be far. I had hired a moving company so I could leave as soon as it was all packed but that meant my stuff wouldn’t arrive for a few days so I decided to run to the store and grab a few things. Like an air mattress and a few other things.

As I went on throughout the store and shopped, I felt entirely fine until I got to the checkout about two customers in front of me stood a woman. A very tall, beautiful blonde haired woman. The word she spoke the cashier instantly made my skin crawl. “No lance Montgomery is my husband, my name is Allison. It’s my husbands card”. I was mortified. Could this really be happening? We are separated by two people in a very large store. In somewhat of a large town and his wife? His wife and I are were not only in the same town, but same store but same checkout line? This couldn’t be happening. So what did I do you ask? I did what any same person would do. I left my cart and got the hell out of there and went to my car and cried. Why, you ask? Because I was overwhelmed. I threw my head into the sitting wheel and cried. After sitting in my car for nearly 10 minutes I heard a tap on my window. I look up and. Who is it? Its her. I took a big deep breath and slowly rolled my window down....

[ultimatesimmers]

When I got home I slammed my front door and fell to the floor sobbing. “WHY!” I screamed. “How could this happen?! Why? Why would you send someone like that to me?! What did I do wrong?!” I felt so disguised with myself. Hes someones father, someones husband! How could I be so stupid? why did I not go with my gut? How did I get fooled so badly?! How could I? How did I not know? Its all so obvious now but why and how? What if I torn apart a family…. Without even knowing… I didn’t even know… What about his kids? His poor children may end up suffering from their fathers decisions… The worst part is I still love him… And I don’t want to…. I want so badly to hate him... 

I know what I need to do... I need to move...

[ultimatesimmers]

H: You have a wife!!!

L: Wh-what?

H: I know Lance! Don’t lie!

L: Okay.. yes but li-

H: No! Im leaving!

L: Wait!

H: No, what could you possibly say at this point?

L: Im not a bad guy.

H: Yeah…You’ve said that before…

L: Listen to me. Yes I have a wife. But we barely speak. She and I haven’t physically and emotionally been together in a very long time.

H: I don’t know how I could’ve been so stupid…

L: Hazel… You’re not. Please… You’re all I got…

H: No! Don’t do that! You don’t get to do that! I loved you! I trusted you!

L: It doesn’t have to be!

H: Yes! You have children!… How many Lance?

L: Please Hazel…

H: HOW MANY LANCE?

L: I have two… Two girls…

H: Go back to your family Lance. Get a divorce or go live happily ever after with your wife, but leave me alone. Stay out of my life.

L: I can’t do that…

H: You will. Or I’ll be forced to get a restraining order. I don’t want to see you Lance. I want you to stay the hell away from me. Today, tomorrow, next month, next year… Just stay away…

[ultimatesimmers]

Lancce was in the shower and his phone kept going off. I ignored it the first 5 times, I didn’t want to invade his privacy. And then it kept going off a few more times and I worried it was something important. Maybe someone in his family was sick. My mind wondered about all the possibilities in emergency and urgency, that I didn’t want him to ignore or miss. Finally about the 12th buzz I walked over to his phone and looked down to see a long text. This was no ordinary text... It read, “Hey it’s your wife! Remember me? I know you’re traveling for work but the kids miss you. I miss you. You haven’t been home religiously in months and they were just wondering when their daddy will be home for good?….” from “the wife”. Instantly, my heart sank, what have I done? He has a wife and children?! Instantly, I panicked. I paced the room. I was heartbroken and angry all at the same time. I loved this man so much and he had a wife this whole time... How could he? What was his thought process? What could he possibly say to try to cover this up. “Prepare for lies” I told myself because obviously I had to confront him. Or would he be a complete psychopath and admit to it all and shrug it off like so what? For the first time in my life I wanted to be lied to. I wanted him to try to lie to me at least and then maybe get the truth behind it all. I laid in bed with this man too many times to even count I don’t want to take the harsh pill, that I laid with a psychopath. I sat down for a few minutes and tried to grasp my mind over everything I just learned and how I was going to confront him. I could hear him on top of the deck now and all I could think about was how to calmly address the situation.... But lets be real... There’s no easy way to ask a married man why he cheated on his wife with you and why he didn’t tell you... 

[ultimatesimmers]

Later that night Lane came back from work. He immediate walked up the to the top deck and didn't say a word. He looked at me intensely and then he spoke, “I love you Hazel”. I turned toward him “What?” I asked quickly. I was in shock... I was contemplating if I was doing the right thing and if being here was real and sincere and then he comes up here talking like this and just then I tried to speak out again, to confirm that I had heard him right. “Wait, Wh-” Just then I was interrupted by a firm and intense kiss. It was passionate and it was firm and somewhat aggressive. And that’s when I let my feet fall. I was in love with this man. I was in love with every kiss, every touch, every word, every late night, every wrinkle he makes on his forehead when he laugh. It all. I’ll take it all in. I let the kiss go and he looked in my eyes staying silent. “I love you too Lance”. He let out a laugh and hugged onto me tightly and pulled out and looked at me once more before lifting me tot he bedroom.

[ultimatesimmers]

I spend my days and nights on this boat decked with Lance. The days are amazing, but when the sun starts to set my world goes colorless. The color in my life fades quicker and quicker. The darker it gets, the more I think. I have so many reservations about Lance but in the moment, when we make love, I can’t hear anything bad, all my doubts, all my reservation vanish. I think I’m falling in love with him and that scares me too... It scares me that I’m falling under and if something bad surfaces I wont see it. I’ve barely been to my own home because I’ve been so captivated on this man... But behind all these reservations when were together laughing, all the doubts jump out the window. He gets me like no man has ever.... And that is the scariest part of it all....

[ultimatesimmers]

Six months passed and I felt like my life could not get any better. We spent hours and days on that boat together. I felt like I was floating on a dream cloud. When I was with him, I felt… different. Growing up I was in foster care, I was 12 before I was actually adopted. I was taken away from a toxic family that were addicted to drugs but I got stuck in the system, the system you never want to be stuck in…foster care. And though in foster care, I was not some horror story. I wasn’t abused or mistreated, I just… I never felt like I belonged. I was just another pay check and mouth to feed for most of the homes I was in until I was adopted but this man… This man gave all those depressive years meaning. He made me feel like I went through all the sadness and depression of not being loved for this moment… The moment that I wake up in this mans arms.

But on the other hand, there was always this very small part of me that had questions. But that same part of me was afraid to know those answers. Like why does he never have a phone and does he have a home that’s on land? And if he doesn’t, why? He’s a doctor and could afford so much more. And if he does have a home, why haven’t I seen it? Why hasn’t he brought me there? And what was his long term intentions? Am I just a fling to him? What does he want with me? What are we? Am I his girlfriend? Just a friend or companion? Is he just lonely?He knows so much about me, but we never talk about him…Why? Why is he so mysterious? What is he hiding? And is it worth knowing?...

[ultimatesimmers]

I’m not a monster Hazel

I-I know

Let me show you the man I am

Oh-kay

“And that’s when everything changed. The kiss on the deck. The wind blowing my hair, his breath so close I could feel each warm breath he exhaled, and our lips met.... Really met. It was captivating,intoxicating...Like a drug I couldn’t stop...”

[ultimatesimmers]

Hazels storms upstairs to realize shes on a decked boat.

“Lance!”

“You’re awake! Good. Drink something you’re gonna feel it today.”

Lance hands Hazel a water bottle and Hazel slaps it out of his hands to the floor

“Whoa! What the problem Hazel?!”

“Are you kidding me?! You slept with a drunk girl?”

“It wasn’t like that”

“Oh okay, how was it then Lance? You took advantage of a drunk vulnerable girl! You are really a doctor right?

“Yes of course!”

“What if I had a medical condition? Something that would cause severe damage if I had sex?”

“then you shouldn’t have been drinking either….”

“OH! SO ITS MY FAULT FOR DRINKING? SINCE WHEN DOES THAT SCREAM TAKE ME TO YOUR BOAT WHEN OBLITERATED?!”

“Absolutely not! Hazel… Please let me talk. Okay?”

“Fine”

Hazel falls to her knees crying. Lance bends down to her so they are face to face and takes in a deep breath.

“Do you have a medical condition Hazel?”

“No.”

Hazel answers Lances question avoiding eye contact, tears streaming down her face and wiping away tears.

“Hazel, I did not go into that bar to get laid. I did not take advantage of a situation. I’m not that kind of man. I was drunk too. I’m not a bad man. I save lives on a daily basis. I help woman who get rapped. I’m not that person… I’m pretty sure we slept together, but I can’t say that for sure. You asked if you could come with me because you were too drunk to drive. We came to my boat and we both kept drinking. Things happened… Things that I’m not proud of. But no one took advantage of anywhere on this boat. I just wanted to keep you safe. I didn’t even sleep on the bed. I woke up, up here. Hazel…”

“I’m-I’m sorry. I just freaked out.”

I get it. Can we start over?

Hazel stands up and nods with a slight smile, out reaching her hand to Lances

“Hello, my name is Hazel Everson and I don’t usually meet men in my panties”

Both laugh

“I’m Lance Montgomery. I’m a doctor and this is my boat. And I never bring woman here on our first date.

“Well I’m honored.”

[ultimatesimmers]

The next morning I woke up and sat up quickly. “what happened last night?” I asked myself out loud as I sat up holding my migraine. “Wait....” I looked around. “where the hell am I?” I looked down.... “Damn it!” 

[ultimatesimmers]

Meanwhile still at the bar...

After 6 or more drinks, plenty of chatting, jokes and laughs, I realized Lance was at that bar for the same reasons I was. We had so much in common. We both grew up in foster care, even in the same town. Such a small world when you live on an Island. Everyone knows everyone. But How did I not know this man? He was “tall dark and handsome”. Damn was he handsome... “Hold your ground, stay stubborn and don’t show weakness.” He was cute, I cannot deny that. His laugh... His sense of humor was driving me in, but damn If I’ll let him see it. But he was captivating and with every drink I took, I was more and more interested. We were both at the bar for the same reason. Ironic? Probably. But he told me so much about himself. He was feeling lost in this world, every relationship he has turns to fire. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too. I told him about my relationships... I’ve had three serious ones... They all cheated. “I’m married to my career.” I told him. He laughed. It seemed almost perfect. He was married to his. Doctor... Surgeon... Of course you are. I joked and that when our eyes mean and drink six turned to 12 and I don’t even know how I got home...