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wont be deleting this blog, just not gonna be active on here anymore. Thanks to all the kindness and support y'all sent here

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Thinking I might delete this blog honestly

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Worst week i've had all day

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Hello! If this question is too intrusive, feel free to not respond. I'm just curious, what is it like to have both NPD and BPD?

I feel like this question is hard to answer because I don't really have a metric for what it's like to have neither, or just one, since I've never experienced that.

The lines between them are really blurry I think. A lot of symptoms come from both or are definitely not normal but can't be traced back to one specifically. I definitely have a weird experience with empathy because of them. I don't feel empathy for most people, but I do feel it for my FPs/chosen people to a certain degree. It's hard to pin down what is and isn't empathy though. I'm very protective of my FPs/chosen people, so when someone or something hurts them it can feel like empathy but really just be anger that the world would hurt them. Jealousy also overlaps between them a lot.

Definitely it doesn't feel like I'm having two distinct experiences but rather one big disorder, even though I fit the diagnostic criteria for both.

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I used to think I was self aware and passed for normal but it turns out everyone close to me just didn't tell me that they think I'm kind of a cocky bitch. Man fuck this whole damn life

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No, this is fine *seething* I don’t think your happiness is a personal attack on me *dying mad with envy* (I hate you)

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Apparently everyone does think I'm a cocky bitch. Which is true, but also, ouch

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They need to invent something to do that isn't opening and closing the apps

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Got bored and decided to spiral. Who decided people can just do that

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They need to invent a version of me that isn't a complete fucking failure

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relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever

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"they should be at the club" "they should be at the farmers market" "they should be at the public library" well i should be in my lovers arms but im not am i. life is full of disappointments