uncorrectintamed - Tumblr blog

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Lan Wangji: I'm not playing hard to get....I don't know how to talk.

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Wei Wuxian: After a through medical assessment, the doctors have described me as, 'a lot, just like a lot to deal with'.

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Stranger: Which ones are yours?

Lan Sizhui: [pointing to a destroyed playground where Jin Ling is chasing a child and Jingyi is crawling around in the dirt] Those two.

Stranger: [seriously concerned] Bless your soul...

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Jiang Cheng: Thanks, Mom.

[Everyone looks at him funny]

Jiang Cheng: Why is everyone looking at me?

Wei Wuxian: You just called Shijie "Mom" you said "Thanks, Mom."

Jiang Cheng: What? No I didn't. I said "Thanks Jie."

Jiang Yanli: Do you see me as a Mother figure A-Cheng?

Jiang Cheng: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure because you're always bothering me!

Wei Wuxian: Hey! Show your Mother some respect!

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Wei Wuxian: Isn't there a saying about stones and glass houses?

Jin Zixun:

Jiang Yanli: in case the analogy is lost on you, I believe my brother is calling you a hypocritical bitch.

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Wei Wuxian: [after meeting Lan Wangji] learned something about myself today. Going to repress it for awhile...but good to know.

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Wei Wuxian: if you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, its venomous.

Lan Jingyi: What if it bites me and it dies?

Jin Ling: Then you're poisonous. Gods, learn to listen.

Ouyang Zizhen: What if it bites itself and I die?

Wei Wuxian: That's voodoo.

Jin Ling: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Lan Sizhui: That's correlation not causation.

Lan Jingyi: What if we bite each other and neither of us dies?

Wei Wuxian: That's kinky.

Jin Ling: Oh my god.

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Nie Mingjue: [to Jin Guangyao] Should I get you a step stool so you can look me in the eye when you threaten me?

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Wen Ning: [is precious and doesn't deserve this]

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Wei Wuxian: "What are you into?" Is such a broad question. Like, do I reply with a book series or choking?

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Jin Guangyao: Okay yes, I may be evil and morally corrupt, but I'm also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it, honestly.

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Wei Wuxian: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay. Easy. Just don't die. That's it. Refuse to die. There you go.

Wei Wuxian: "But how?" You may ask. Easy. Just don't do it. Refuse to. Say no thanks.

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Wen Qing: Why are you helping us so much?

Wei Wuxian: Because my life is a mess right now and I compulsively take care of other people when I don't know how to take care of myself.

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[Juniors Groupchat]

Jin Ling: My Uncle is worried I'm not getting enough protein in my diet. So he is sending me 48 cans of tuna.

Jin Ling: That is not a typo.

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Lan Qiren: If you've got any questions, just ask.

Wei Wuxian: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?

Lan Qiren: If you've got any relevant questions, just ask.

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Jiang Cheng: [Bursting into Wuxian's room] Wei Wuxian!

Wei Wuxian: I HAVE AN ALIBI

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Wen Ning: Jie, how long does it take before you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?

Wen Qing: I think-

Wei Wuxian: Seventy-two hours.

Wen Qing: How do you-

Wei Wuxian: There is a clown behind you.