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[uncorrectintamed]

Wei Wuxian: The people here all think my name is Mo Xuanyu.

Nie Huaisang: Yeah- wait what?

Wei Wuxian: Don't worry about it.

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Lan Xichen: Why are you like this?

Nie Mingjue: I used too much no more tears shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

[uncorrectintamed]

My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

- Jiang Cheng (probably)

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Wei Wuxian: Alright. Let's go over this one more time.

Wei Wuxian: If something breaks?

Lan Jingyi: We try to fix it before Hanguang-jun gets home.

Wei Wuxian: If it doesn't work?

Lan Jingyi: We blame Jin Ling

Wei Wuxian: No-

Jin Ling: Seriously guys, what the hell?!

[uncorrectintamed]

Jin Zixun: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Wei Wuxian: I don't think I'm smarter then everyone else. I know I am.

[uncorrectintamed]

@goodwife-two-shoes

Unfortunately, Zewu-jun is still in seclusion and could not be reached for comment.

Jin Guangyao: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool. I've been the same height since I was twelve.

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Jin Guangyao: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool. I've been the same height since I was twelve.

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Lan Jingyi: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea.

Lan Sizhui: Well then, who's is it?

Lan Jingyi: [staring at a cup of tea] I don't know!

[uncorrectintamed]

Wei Wuxian: I know its just another word for property damage but the fact that "criminal mischief" is a crime that exists and that you can be charged is so funny to me as a concept. Jailed for having a laugh.

Jiang Cheng: Illegal funny business.

Wei Wuxian: Fucked around and found out. Anyway, I'm gonna need you to come bail me out.

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Lan Jingyi: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Wei Wuxian: Well, Hanguang-Jun and I-

Lan Wangji: [elbows Wuxian]

Wei Wuxian: -wouldn't know.

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Lan Jingyi: [talking to Su She] Hanguang-Jun taught me to think before I act.

Lan Jingyi: So rest assured if I smack the shit out of you, I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

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"Jin Guanyao is forbidden from monolouging."

-Nie Huaisang (definitely)

[uncorrectintamed]

Jiang Cheng: [to Jin Ling] You know, Wei Wuxian can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.

Jiang Cheng: [blows airhorn at Wei Wuxian] GET FUCKED!

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Lan Wangji: I have feelings for you?

WeiWuxian: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

[uncorrectintamed]

Wei Wuxian: So I don't have the most traditional career.

Wei Wuxian: Or is it the most traditional career? Or am I thinking about prostitution?

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Jin Ling: Jingyi messaged me last week, and he was all like "Hey, when you see me tomorrow I might look a little...different." When they showed up he looked the same, but later he told me he tried to turn himself into a Cheetah using a spell he found online.

[uncorrectintamed]

[When the Juniors are annoying him]

Wei Wuxian: I'm gonna turn evil for real this time, and I will kill you.