underwater-i-will-go

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personal stuff <3

spending my week off work travelling around nearby cities and today i went to my old home town <3

saturday i went solo raving in berlin <3 shall do this again this weekend 🫰🏼

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walker to everton rumours make me feel worse than keane's departure

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and the Pulitzer Prize for sports rpf goes to

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certainly of someone's interest @new-berry (u may have already seen it but every time i see jude and trent together now i swoon)

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pretends to be shocked

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this bloke just pulls these straight out of his arse ain't he jfc

we have reached the point where i genuinely don't gaf anymore. this has been dragging on for way too long with zero updates and no clear direction. now i just hope it's a club with a decent kit and badge since i'll have to get his kit. sigh.

i'll break this down for everyone because nobody asked; (mind you that it will likely be a local club, or not longer than 30 minutes by car because michael is really attached to manchester and will only move away if absolutely necessary, played for a liverpool based club for eight years and never moved there)

... so far we've heard of "links" to:

- sunderland (somewhat plausible, newly promoted looking for experienced players, would likely only make the bench though)

- southampton (also somewhat plausible)

- burnley (testimony would be sweet, it's also somewhat local)

- wrexham (get in ryan reynolds, gotta catch em all innit)

- sheffield (ugly kit and too far away)

- wolves (it's mostly the fans who want him for some to me inexplicable reason?)

- coventry (would only make sense because of his missus. frank lampard, however-)

- norwich ? (todd cantwell's ex)

- fc dallas (still my favourite, get in with the yeehaw shi)

- beşiktaş (this lot have been sniffing around him for close to 1/2 years now. he won't learn turkish, sorry)

me whenever there's a new one added. i work full time and have a life. retire for fucks sake what am i meant to do.

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everton home AND away kits for next season are both so fucking bleak. the home kit is decent but the away one pretty much looks the exact same as the third kit we had last season. now i'm hoping for a good third kit for next season because i'm not going to get either of the ones that were already leaked. tedious stuff.

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i met the england squad in jena a year ago today !!!

i travelled like twelve hours in total via train and approximately 7 bus lines (mind you jena is only around 200km from where i live) just to barely push my way past the shit ton of bellingham fangirls and therefore i missed out on shaking hands with around 80% of the squad.

but here's the players that have fist bumped or shaken my hand:

- pickford (i would've body slammed the fangirls to the ground to get to him anyway luckily he was one of the last ones in line to sign stuff and take photos)

- trippier (really small, freckles are insane)

- ramsdale (bit arrogant but i think he was just overstimulated)

- bellingham (smelled really good despite having just trained in the sun for an hour ?)

- rice (suuuuuper smiley, fist bump almost broke my hand and he noticed so he apologised lmfao asked twice if i was sure i didn't want anything signed)

- alexander arnold (briefly brushed over the back of my hand and he has beautiful eyes)

- dunk (really awkward and probably really didn't want to be there)

- gallagher (looked really deeply into my eyes and i think he was trying to hex me)

- guéhi (walked past me without shaking my hand and i'm still mad)

missed out on most of the others and there were some i have probably forgotten because it was a very brief encounter each time and i didn't get anything signed and took no photos because my phone was on a 12% and it still had to last all day.

still if you're me, being face to face with jordan pickford genuinely made something inside my shift. one of my closest links.

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fascinated by this quora thread positing the bruce springsteen gay multiverse

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all this chatter about michael to coventry made me reminisce on michael's father in law, marcus hall, former coventry defender.

there's two reasons why i think all this is bollocks.

1) lampard

2) his father in law

marcus already barely tolerated him back then, hardly does now, and him potentially embarrassing him as a defender at the club marcus played for a long time ... i think michael's to scared of that.

furthermore, this was arguably bobbie's best haircut. we need the pixie back. unfortunately however michael went for the girl next to her in the end and that was also around the time michael and morgan met. he wasn't fond of the pixie of her sister. wasted.

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keane to coventry rumours that seem legit ? under frank lampard ? the manager that literally froze him out when managing everton and treating him like shit ? what lmfao see michael's missus is from coventry so that would make sense. but ... under LAMPARD ? uh. what a character arc is this then ? enemies to lovers ? okay i don't gaf tbh

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has england fallen off or is it just me cause i watch this match and i don't feel a thing like genuinely who gafs zero shots on target in 30 minutes mind you against fucking andorra

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imagine having a normal working brain. couldn't be me.

seeing this post on my feet kickstarted something inside my brain.

of course it did.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66191761

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me when rehabilitation is in jordan pickford’s room

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probably very relevant to ur interests @new-berry

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oh i think of this again .....

the random things he does. the way he carries himself. when he's just himself. his tongue and mouth. random lip bite. that post match adrenaline. sigh

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them core 💕 imagine having to deal with him in front of u for eight years. i understand pickford. always have.