unfinished-lives

[unfinished-lives]

Take me home with you

I promise not to fall in love

I’ll make you breakfast

And we can go shopping tomorrow

Take me home with you

I promise not to fall in love

We’ll walk the dog at sunset

And get wrapped up in the leash

Take me home with you

I promise not to fall in love

I’ll find a kids movie we both know

And cry into your shoulder

Take me home with you

I promise not to fall in love

I’ll find the perfect gift for you

And hide it until your birthday

Take me home with you

I promise not to fall in love

But I think we’ll walk into it

Slowly, controlled, and by choice.

[unfinished-lives]

I’ll tell you I love you if you promise not to believe me

It’s not that I don’t

I love you so much I would drag the sun from the sky 

All because you want shade

I’ll tell you I need you if you promise to stay

It’s not that I do

I like being alone and the cold and the silence

But the bed is warmer with you

I’ll tell you I want you if you promise to believe me

I always have 

I want you so close that we couldn’t separate

All because you want me too

I’ll tell you I hate you if you promise not to believe me

And I really do

I hate that I love you and want you and need you

But sometimes we should have space

[unfinished-lives]

Sometimes I want for something I can’t have

Taking you apart with hands and tongue and teeth

I want to shove you into myself

Mix our blood and bones

Until we don’t know who is who

I’ll keep you warm under my skin

And our hearts will beat together

As we sit in our own blood

[unfinished-lives]

Look at the way the world wants you to live. I sit and wonder if I’d be happy, if I’d be better, if I’d be if I could be like that. If I could be the girl you want with long hair and skirts. If I could have the boy who’d take care of me, who’d lean on me, who’d destroy me. If I could give him kids and cut myself into pieces to care for them. I know that life would chew me up and spit me out with nothing, but would I mind? If I never knew that skirts weren’t for me? If I didn’t know that getting married would kill whatever spirit rests inside me? People want something from me, but I have nothing to give. I know that I could never be what they want so why won’t they stop asking?

[unfinished-lives]

Thoughts in the Mirror

Consider a body

Imagine a person in your mind

Do they look like you?

Will we like what we find?

I know I'm healthy

Though I weight quite a bit

It doesn't really matter

Cos no one would guess it

But I avoid scales

Its just something I choose

Because I'm never sure

Should I gain or lose?

I've tried to count calories

I quit very quick

Cos seeing how little I eat

It made me feel sick

I try not to think about

The gnawing hunger in me

Because I eat a lot now

Thats all that they see

I eat til I'm full

Because my body knows

Just how much it needs

It never shrinks, never grows

I just want to be able

To understand why

Everyone's obsessed

With everyone's size

Because I'm not really big

Though I'm also not small

I just happen to be

Right where the averages fall

I weigh one sixty

At least last time I checked

And I think I'm happy

Guess it pays to reflect.

[unfinished-lives]

Heartbeat

If my heart is a muscle

Isnt it enough that it keeps me alive?

Does it have to jump into love

With strangers under street lights?

I'm in love with the stars and people are kind of a step back.

My heart beats in my chest

I can feel my pulse race through me at times

I should talk to my doctor about that

But she said I have low blood pressure so I'm probably fine

And the blood in my veins is life

My heart pumps life not love

I see people with their hearts on their sleeves

They fall in love

They fall apart

They fall over themselves in love and joy

Its beautiful but I've never understood the impulse.