unh0lylight

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

i hate your stupid thrifted outfits

and your pretty bleach blonde hair

i hate how the sun shines on you but that’s neither here nor there

i hate the way your eyes sparkle in the morning like dew

i hate that no matter how hard i try i’ll never look like you

and i know that’s its wrong

and i know it’s not your fault

you didn’t choose to be this pretty

i didn’t choose to be unhappy

so i’ll stare at your smile

and how you always seem to belong

and hope it rubs off on me

i hope it doesn’t take too long

oh you could teach me how to wear clothes from the stupid thrift shop

but can you tell me how to smile when the tears don’t wanna stop

i’d rather stare into your eyes

i’ll admire, not learn

i won’t try to steal your pretty

i’ll just wait my turn.

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

here is your sign, if you needed one.

[unh0lylight]

“Sunsets are my escape into the reality I want to continuously live.” – Rachel Roy

[unh0lylight]

i want to climb through the clouds and exist there all by myself i want to hold hands with heaven sing sweet melodies to the moon i want to be unafraid and full of overflowing lust for life wave stars and galaxies into my bones and ribs i want to understand life and death but all i do is waste my youth to the endless sadness of my heart

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

Morning light

[unh0lylight]

what another person did to you wasn’t your fault

[unh0lylight]

the kindest words i’ll ever know are waiting to be said, the most entrancing sight of all is yet for me to see, and the dearest love in all the world is waiting somewhere for me

[unh0lylight]

[unh0lylight]

my academia aesthetic

weirdly specific

wearing big ass earrings to distract from my eye bags

listening to a podcast about german rappers

having a disposable camera in my jacket pocket to snap pics if my friends at school

listening to the matching audiobook while doing my readings so i don’t get lost in thought and waste time

yoga to calm the fuck down

driving home in my car while listening to edm / german rap / soft korean music

low pony tails and buns cause the high ones hurt my scalp

listening to harry potter while doing chores

turning on my fairy lights for studying to set the mood plus a lofi stream in the background

swearing in russian

once a friend asked me what appolo stands for. i answered, but then asked why she was asking me tho and she was like “your the type of person to know that”. i am

me and my guy best friend sending each other cringy tiktoks cause we’re fallen down that™️ hole

colors!!!!

coffee with oat milk. i love oat milk sm omg

matching my socks to my outfit

i think i consume an unhealthy amount of fruit

stress-baking

my hands are always cold

i can only study with bullet points notes or flashcards

brockhampton 

having to click my pen to be able to concentrate while remembering stuff

[unh0lylight]

people love me and they should not do that, or maybe they should. because i still have all the peices from when you said you loved me. and i still look at the pictures after all this time. you took your love away but i remember the way it made me feel. they way you say i made you feel. i made you blush, i made you say sweet things without even trying. you made me feel warm, perhaps from the constant fluttering of butterflies inside of me. i wish you hadn’t. or maybe i still wish you had. even after all this time i still cant decide: is it better to love and have that love snatched away or to never have received that love at all?