unhingedmess - Tumblr blog

[unhingedmess]

women should lift weights because it prevents osteoporosis in old age and makes you a more capable person in everyday life please shut up about butts and waists and hourglasses i'm going to fucking kill

[unhingedmess]

nobuddy feels like they have a sharp attention span these days, right? and we all just click “agree on terms of service” because its hard to love yourself sometimes, well

enter Terms of Service, Didn’t Read: a website and a browser addon that streamlines the terms of service of many popular web services to be read by the tech sunday drivers.

It’s graded from A (great) to E (awful) and if you have the addon you have access to the info about the website on your bar

[unhingedmess]

[unhingedmess]

» KILLING EVE (2018-2022)

[unhingedmess]

got 27 things on my to do list and i simultaneously know none of them and yet feel the weight of them every second.

schrödinger’s executive dysfunction if you will.

[unhingedmess]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Additional Tags: Magic Made Them Do It, This was inspired by the cave of lovers in Gottfried’s Tristan, Yes I read medieval poetry and then use it to write porn, It’s a hobby of mine, FYI this has no nutritional value, But it does have a lot of porn, This is about them getting stuck in a magical cave and having a lot of sex about it, Yes it’s 15k of that, Arthur is a prude, But don’t worry he’s also very slutty, They’re both very slutty, He just tries to put up a thin veneer of not being slutty at least, Merlin is just slutty slutty, If you squint you could kind of read this as dubcon, Because they have to have sex to break a spell, But really the spell is just giving these dumbasses the opportunity to do what they want to do, Also I just realised there’s a pwp without porn tag, And added it to this, Because I saw pwp, Good thing I noticed in time, And deleted it before posting, Because there is in fact a lot of porn in this Summary:

“Remember how I said that wasn’t the worst bit? I didn’t mean that it was magic. I meant what kind of magic. I think it’s some kind of love spell.”

“Well how would you know?” Arthur demanded.

“Because, you know, I poke round in the library, I see things–”

“You snoop, is what you mean.”

“–and Gaius and I are always having to clean up after you lot when you piss off some sorcerer. So. I’m pretty sure. It’s. Erm. The cave requires–an offering.”

“Like a sacrifice?” Arthur asked, sounding incredibly pleased to offer it.

“Not that kind of sacrifice.”

“Then what.”

“Like. Just. You know. An offering. Of love.”

“Like what? I don’t run you through with my sword? Because not stabbing you right now would be an act of incredible goodwill.”

“Well,” Merlin said, coughing rather delicately. “Actually. More like. You do run me through with a sword. Or at least someone gets run through with a sword. A ‘sword.’ If you know what I mean.”

In which Merlin and Arthur get trapped in a magical cave.

[unhingedmess]

they're putting anti sex beds in the Paris Olympic Village. they are trying to take the only cool thing about the Olympics away. these games force homeless populations out of cities and cost billions in taxes and leave nearly every nation that hosts them in tremendous debt and the only cool part is all of the 20 somethings in the world who have conditioned their bodies to the limit of human possibility gets to meet up and one place and have the most crazy sex they can and they are trying to take it away.

[unhingedmess]

get well soon jenn!!

Look, I'm not saying this is a proper randomised trial with a control group and peer review, but I am saying I've progressively been up for longer periods of time each day after starting to write gay smut on Wednesday, so since this is the internet I'm going to state, absolutely and unequivocally, that the two are connected, and gay porn is a viable treatment for iron deficiency.

[unhingedmess]

a gentle fact about this world is that people will want to help you. a cruel fact about it is that you do have to put on your big boy pants and open their contact on your phone and say some human words to ask them for it

[unhingedmess]

didn't they already find out that in-a had powers when they found her with da-hae? why did the halmeoni say that in-a didn't have powers?

[unhingedmess]

me reading straight up pornography: hmm… this one just doesn’t have enough accurate character psychoanalysis to get me off

[unhingedmess]

@cbk1000 how could you leave this gold in the tags

Lost a civil lawsuit for sexual assault. Convicted of all 34 felony charges at his first criminal trial. Has three criminal trials still pending. Nice frontrunner you got yourselves there, GOP.

[unhingedmess]

national holiday

[unhingedmess]

[unhingedmess]

Why do I need to vote? What difference does my vote make?

A big one actually

[unhingedmess]

[unhingedmess]