unknown-pxlms-blog

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

I smoke weed so i won't self harm.

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

Getting There

I thought about cutting yesterday, but i didn't.

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

Id miss

Your smile Your eyes Your laugh The way you hold me after a long day The way you always know what to say Your arms Your warmth The color your eyes turn when you're sad Your optimum Your strength Your attitude Our memories Our future The way you hold my hand The way you comfort me The way you pick up the pieces every time...

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

For You

We’ve been through some ridiculous things. Had our fair share of ups and downs and always came out fighting. To me, we are past the point of needing to make yhe other pay for the hurt they have caused. To you, we’re still a downward spiral. Its a shame.. id give up everything for you. I love you so much it hurts me to be the person i am trying to be the person you want. I would never give up or turn my back on us. But lately its been feeling a little like we’re reaching our end.. i remember when you were the one i was scared to love. I was afraid to let myself care about you. You were there most amazing person i had ever net in my entire life and i didnt think i was good enough. I did a really good job proving i wasn’t, and never really figured out how to show you i was in fact everything you needed. Without you i would be lost. Our entire existence together has been about me, and for once i would like to make it about you. I dont want us to become so frustrated with eachother we loose sight of everything we had planned together. Of everything we wanted for eachother and everything we promised one another. I think its time we step back and look at the bigger picture, look how far we have come, look how much we have changed and see how much we have grown. We have hurt enough over childish things, it's time we face life and eachother as adults and move forward with ourselves, together. if you dont think we deserve to move forward in life, hand in hand, then so be it. Every good thing must come to an end..

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

Too Much

Im not sure i care anymore. Actually, saying that makes me realize how much i really do care. I care about what people think of me. I care about how others see me. I care a lot about you. I care about how other feel. I care about what they think. I care about too much at one time. I care so much it overwhelms me. I care to the point, my every thought movement and idea is in the shadow of someone else. I care so much it hurts. I wish i could stop caring. Then i wouldnt have to feel like this day in and day out. I know how to make it stop, i just care too nuch about what people will think of my decision.

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

Sob Story

I can honestly say i dont think ive ever been more depressed in my entire than i have been in these past few months after graduating high school. I thought getting out of there would make me so happy but since ive left all i have left to look forward to is working. My only 2 friends are not only both leaving for college in a few days, but also havent had a full conversation with me since graduation day. I work everyday and when im not working im sitting bed thinking about how sad my life has become. You can tell me not to dwel on the negative but as per lately there hasnt been anything positive going on. Yes i make decent money, and yes i have an amazing boyfriend but im sick of living a depressingly uneventful life having no one to talk to and nowhere to go.

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

Love

Ive tried to write this a million times and each time i feel like my words are not good enough. My thoughts are not big enough, and my feelings not deep enough. Describing love is like describing the taste of water. You know the basic feelings, warm, happy, light, amazing… but does anyone ever tell us that love can be dark, and scary and painful? Love will make you feel like you’re on top of the world and no one matters. But in the same breath, it will destroy you. And the funny thing about love; no matter how hard it beats you down, it has the power to build you back up and make you forget what knocked you down in the first place.

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

Somehow

See, it’s not that i want to do it. Its more that i feel i have to do it. That somehow i’m meant to. And it’s funny because I’ve always said that it’s stupid, but at the same time always admired it somehow. I guess i feel like this wasn’t always the way i was gona be, ya know? Like someone somewhere was supposed to come in and change my life or something but somewhere along the lines that person missed their q and now im like this because there was no one else to replace them…

[unknown-pxlms-blog]

Do Svidanyia

One day things will change. I will be free and happy. No one will be disappointed in me. My last words will be said, My last tears will be shed. I wont care about what anyone thinks anymore. I wont have to worry about a thing. One day i will cut too deep, Or get a little too high. I wont feel pain or anger. I wont feel shame ir regret. I will feel free and at peace. One day it will be too much. And on that day... The grass will look greener, The sun will look brighter, Thw sky will look bluer, And my heart will be heavier. Everyday i look at you and think, How terrible such a beautiful day will be for you and i feel sad knowing my fairwell will just be another heartache for you...