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[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 215:

If Thomas the Tank Engine Was A Musical:

*Edward, Gordon and Toby are all tired asf while the others start singing*

Everybody else: 🎵 All "c, c" motherfucker! 🎵

Everybody else: 🎵 All "c, c" goddamn. 🎵

Everybody else: 🎵 All "c,c"-🎵

Toby: Why do we have to sing in every single episode?....

[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 214:

*Sounds of rattling can be heard before the lights are turned on*

Diesel, about to exit the window: Wait, before you call the cops on me. I just broke into your home to tell that I love you. :)

[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 213:

Whiff: Listen Edward, why do you want to save Sodor!??!

Edward: BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THE FUCKING ENGINES WHO LIVES IN IT!!!!!!!

[unpopularvivian]

Thomas: Already i got her on the line.

Emily over phone: Alright, what have ye lads and lasses got yeselves stuck in this time? (My attempt at Emily's Scottish accent)

Thomas: It's more Edward and Toby found the weapons market on Sodor.

Emily: So what exactly do ye want me ta do?

Thomas: You're good at helping people make amends and defusing tension. Donald and Douglas that one time you pulled a train of pipes with them, Diesel when he stole Gordon's coaches for breaking his record, shall I go on?

Emily: Aye still donne see what ye want me ta do.

Thomas: Maybe get them all in one place and find a way to convince them to stop producing weapons. Or at least lest deadly ones.

Emily: Fine, I'll grab me contacts and see what I canne do.

After she hangs up.

Edward: I swear we are finding a entirely new side to Sodor.

Toby: Yeah same. I just didn't think that Sodor would be that crazy. But, here we are...

Hank: Hey! Don't worry yourselves too much old partners! I'm pretty sure we'll get this all sorted out!

*Something explodes in the distance*

Thomas: Ohhhhh shit....

Percy, flying in the sky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-

Toby: Don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me, DON'T HIT ME!!!!!

Percy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Toby: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

[unpopularvivian]

Thomas: Okay we're here.

Edward: Alright who who- WHIFF!?

Whiff: Being a genius means you know how to survive every type of gunshot wounds. Trust me Rosie has tried to off me with her sniper for stealing her business more times than I can count.

Toby: Thomas I thought you said you knew someone who could help!

Thomas: He can! Tell em Whiff.

Whiff: While I may make nuclear missiles I also make air defense systems to shoot them down. After all I'm no the only one who makes weapons.

Edward: Okay but how does we stop the problem of Sodor becoming a flaming Crater if one slips past.

Whiff: Underground vaults! I have plenty under Sodor and know several people who could help truck in materials to rebuild.

Toby: You know I would prefer to prevent this as a whole so we don't need to rebuild.

Thomas: Alright I'll call her up.

Toby: Call who?

Thomas: You'll see.

Edward: Also, I thought I killed you. How the hell did you survive?

Whiff: Magic~

Toby: Wait Edward, so you're telling me that you TRIED TO KILL WHIFF?!?!!

Edward: What?!!? He was driving me crazy and I just couldn't handle it!!!

Thomas: Ummmm, moving on-

Hank: We should probably start planning on how to save Sodor right now....

[unpopularvivian]

If it's not rude (I don't fully know tumblr ettiquitte yet) i'd like to propse another character to throw into this militay au(?): Hank.

Personally I like to roll with the Character Gallery idea of Hank being this calm shoulder to cry on and it's also really funny to see this bulky express thoroughbred doing first aid so I imagine it goes:

Edward: Okay Hank, what do you do in all this then?

Hank: I clean up after everyone else.

Edward: Oh god what do you mean by that? Like bulldozers kocking down infastructure or-

Hank: No I do first aid. Like I literally clean up after everyone. Do you know just how many 7-planks i've had to peel off of concrete walls?

Edward: Well, i'm glad at least one engine here is coming from somewhere sensible.

Hank: Oh, I wouldn't absolve the great state of Pennyslvania just yet, Eddyboy

Edward: Wha-

Phillip, approacing rapidly with a rocket launcher: Hi Edward!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D

YEAHHHHH!!!!! WE'RE ADDING HANK IN!!!!! I never include him on this blog but I think he's really cool. So, this is a great suggestion! (Also, PHILLIP NO-)

[unpopularvivian]

Edward: I am getting majorly concerned for Sodor's saftey!

Thomas: Hey, don't worry Edward I got you on that one.

Edward: Thomas, whatever you make it better not kill people.

Thomas: I make riot gear like riot Shields, I also strapped a bunch of Nokia phones to some of Rusty's clothes as armor and it sells like mad.

Edward: Okay that solves that problem but we still need to worry about the bombs people have made.

Thomas: Don't worry, I know a guy.

Toby: I'm not sure if that makes me feel more or less safe.

Thomas: Oh! Don't worry! I think somebody who can help you two!

Edward: Who?

Thomas: It's a surprise. :)

[unpopularvivian]

Edward and Toby: We all know the drill Toad what do you make- wait what are you doing?

Toad: Oh... *Gun cocks* just reloading.

Edward sweating: Any reason why?

Toad: Depends, do you have any pressing questions or sarcastic comments to make?

Toby: Whaaaat? Nooo, nope no sir nothing today.

Toad: Huh, what a totally random happenstance.

Toad is trying his hardest to hide the fact that he's creating weapons that kill people. (Bro, this is getting out of hand)

[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 212:

Edward: You know, sometimes I want to sleep. But then my stupid insomnia goes:

Edward: Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare again. Wait, is this a wet dream? Why the hell am I dreaming about Skibidi Toilet? Nightmare, fucking nightmare again. OH MY GOD, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS????

Edward: And then when I wake up, I still remember all of the bullshit that happened in my brain. Lady, please take this away from me...

[unpopularvivian]

Edward: Okay I brought Toby, This should be better.

Toby: Hey Rosie I heard you made things that kill people?

Rosie: Whaaat? Nooo, I just make things that help observe the deaths you are causing.

Toby: W-why do you make rifle scopes?

Rosie: I started in world war two back in America and you know old habits die hard, you just kinda get into a routine and you keep making scopes.

Toby: What else are you making?

Rosie: Well since then I expanded my business and started making a bunch of other gun accessories like stands for machine guns and smgs, bigger magazines, we even make our own brand of holster!

Toby: I mean you may not be causing the deaths but your equipping people really well for them! Also how did you get the money to start producing scopes?

Rosie: I actually started by making cars as a side hustle.

Toby: Your cars would have dominated the American market of you handed out all these with every car.

Rosie: Yeah I said that in the meeting but they said it wasn't an appropriate way to deal with road rage.

Okay cutting away from it for a sec, if Rosie did having a fighting style I imagine her to be the type to have a pistol and some sort of sniper riffle. Cause ya know, shunting for the pistol, weaving in and out of trucks like weaving in and out of buildings or debris, and the sniper cause a pistol can't do well for long range and it seems like she doesn't have a problem hitting trucks and letting them roll, just like a sniper lets his bullets fly.

Lolololol. We should probably call this au: "Edward Gets Caught With Whiff's War Crimes and Other Bullshit"

Also, totally agree with Rosie having a pistol and a sniper rifle? Fuck with her friends and die.

[unpopularvivian]

Edward: *Deep breath* Hey Bruno, other than having a fun name what do you make buddy?

Bruno: I answer the phrase, Truck around and find out with a lot of military trucks.

Edward: OH, my gosh.

Bruno: I made a truck that can transport tanks because you really don't wanna get their millage up, terrible for the resale value. I also made a truck that can throw around transport containers like a like a toddler and it's great for logistics. I also made this MATV which is a mine resistant ambush proof vehicle and it hits mines like you hit pot holes. And then I made the sports version of the humvee.

Edward: What else can you put on the racing version of the humvee?

Bruno: Depends on what ya wanna get rid of! The fifty cal is good for getting rid of people, the anti tank is good for getting rid of tanks, and the automatic grenade launchers are good for getting rid of ANYTHING

Edward: What have you made recently?

Bruno: I bought Pratt Miller which includes Corvette racing, they still won't let me race my trucks and run over the other drivers, dumb. However I also bought jbt aerotech so I can now make plans if I want to. Arguably, THE MOST MINE RESISTANT VIECHLE.

Edward: I now fear you and I worry Rosie will be worse

Edward:

Edward: Toby, Toby. I need help.

Toby: What? What's going on?

Edward: Whiff, Bruno, Rosie and the others are talking about building military weapons. They're becoming more and more powerful and I can't control them...

Toby: Oh my god....

[unpopularvivian]

Edward: Hey Rusty, what ya making there?

Rusty: Clothing good for any environment and for the environment.

Edward: That's good, how did you pull up that off?

Rusty: I test a lot of my gear with the people that go anywhere.

Edward: Like hikers and explorers?

Rusty: Uh... Not exactly. More like the military.

Edward: How did that start?

Rusty: I started selling four hundred dollar Jackets to rich people then I thought, who's more rich than the British goverment?

Edward: But why?

Rusty: Well I wanted to make gear for any weather and location and no one goes more places then them. So whether it's the mountains of Afghanistan or the jungles of Colombia I got ya.

Edward: Yeah, well that's certainly effective.

Rusty: So when the army raids a enemy base you can bet they're more comfortable than any of their enemies.

Edward: Well at least your not directly causing the deaths.

Rusty: Yeah if you want that there's like a whole network on the island, There's Whiff, 'Bruno, Toad, Rosie-

Edward: Wait what!?

Edward: Why does this keep happening to me.....

Poor Eddie just can't catch a break. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[unpopularvivian]

Edward: What ya making this time whiff?

Whiff: Things that spin?

Edward: What kinds of spinning things?

Whiff: Oh ya know like washing machines, and hydro power plants, and jet engines, and the gattling guns to out on the jet engines.

Edward: Oh my lord! What does it shoot?

Whiff: This. And it comes in explosive versions.

Edward: But Whiff what happens to the people?

Whiff: They become a red mist, That's why I made the washing machine.

Edward: Okay, that's it. *Cocks gun* I am sending you to Lady myself.

Whiff: Wait, what-

*Whiff gets shot and dies*

[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 211:

Toby: Okay, when I said "Take something from the beach as a little gift". I meant something like like a seashell!

Thomas, Percy and Mavis, all struggling to hold a seagull: Fucking say that next time Toby!!!!!

[unpopularvivian]

Edward: Hey Whiff, what ya working on today?

Whiff: Not much, just a lot of factory automation. And war stuff.

Edward: What was that last part?

Whiff: Ehhh... I may have made like, heavy artillery, like this tank for instance, I made the gun for it. I also make mortars and I've been licensed to produce like, so many weapons.

Edward: Aaaand there it is.

Whiff: Oh I forgot to mention I'm also developing a remote control weapon system!

Edward: Well at least that doesn't sound like skynet.

Whiff: Yeah it's pretty cool it can target up to fifty enemies at once! And it comes with a easy to use joystick! I also made an automatic version to defend nuclear power plants it shoots down drones with grenade launchers!

Edward: Why did you do this!?

Whiff: Well because there's money to be made after my video game business venture so now I'm dropping players into irl lobbied baby!

Edward: Why are you like this.....

OH MY GOD IT'S ANOTHER ONE!!!!!! It's hilarious. 😂😂😂😂😂

[unpopularvivian]

Alternate to your last one

Percy: I have a race car bed!

Gordon: Ha! Pathetic! I sleep in a real car!

Yoooooo, this is so perfect. But from the words of Gordon himself: Me? Sleep in a car? Pathetic! Although, if it was a form of punishment, then that would be really funny.

[unpopularvivian]

Incorrect Ttte Quotes 210:

Spencer: I have a racecar bed! What do you have?!!?

Gordon: I fuse with my fiancé. 😏

BoCo, in the background: Every night!

*Gordon and BoCo are laughing in the background while Spencer is thinking about his life.*