unraveledx - Tumblr blog

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“Just leave me alone. I’m not myself. I’m falling apart, and I don’t want you here.”

— Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon

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I may embark on a new role, invent a new way of living. But one kind of living has come to an end.

Anaïs Nin, from A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin and Henry Miller, 1932-1953

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Anaïs Nin, from Under a Glass Bell and Other Stories; “Birth”


Text ID: I could not remember why I should want to live. I could not remember anything. Everything was blood and pain.

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I’m not “showing signs of mental illness” I’m hiding them really well actually everyone thinks i act really normal. I think. I’m pretty sure

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𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟺, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟷 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶 -𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹

[ID: I was unrecognizable to myself. END ID]

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Neither Dead nor Sleeping. 1921. Title page.

Internet Archive

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Survive the Torture.

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okay i will say i do not remember writing the almost-cannibalism attempt, holy shit

//i just spent idek how long rereading my old writing here and man... i really miss outlast!izaya

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#I keep imagining that Izaya survives until the end #when the soldiers are in the building and billy bites the dust #he got two bullets to the leg and he makes it to the atrium and sees the front doors are open and he just #starts limping his way towards them #and out #and the gate's open too #but he sees miles there #walrider and all #and miles sees him and as he gets closer to the gate he remembers how far away they are from any sort of town or city #and there's no way he could make it there in the state he was in #and he just stands there and stares at the /thing/ in front of him and he's so scared #because he knows what his only option is at this point and so he just #asks miles to do it for him #but on the other side of the gate #so he can at least die knowing he made it out #and he kind of smiles when all those little black particles start surrounding him and when his feet leave the ground he laughs but it's more #of a broken laugh #a sob #because he's facing the biggest fear he's ever had #''Scatter my insides like ashes.''

what was actually possessing me in 2014 when i wrote all this heartbreaking stuff. just so casually in the tags of posts too. what

//i just spent idek how long rereading my old writing here and man... i really miss outlast!izaya

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//i just spent idek how long rereading my old writing here and man... i really miss outlast!izaya

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The worst had happened. What else could hurt me then? I thought it was the worst, thought nothing worse could come. Then nothing did, and no one.

Marie Howe, from Magdalene: Poems

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Welcome! This is an independent roleplay and ask blog for an Outlast AU portrayal of Izaya Orihara from the anime Durarara!!, based in the horror game Outlast and the Outlast: Whistleblower DLC. Written by Jen (she/her, 30.) Originally established on July 3, 2014. This is a sideblog.

Due to the nature of the Outlast franchise, this blog is strictly 18+. There will be mentions and/or depictions of a number of potentially triggering topics such as violence, death, torture, and more. Topics common within the Outlast universe will not be tagged unless graphically shown.

This blog is extremely low activity and focuses primarily on asks and ask memes. Plotted threads (when they happen) are for mutuals only, but everyone is welcome to send things through the ask box for Izaya and me to respond to.

Rules || About || Ask Memes

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"murkoff chemical therapy is terminal"

*izaya staring directly into the camera :|*

//i'm watching john wolfe play the outlast trials, and just seeing that outlast aesthetic again is making me miss it so much

i'm also low key imagining izaya in these new environments

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//i want the skinner man and the walrider to be bros

//i'm watching john wolfe play the outlast trials, and just seeing that outlast aesthetic again is making me miss it so much

i'm also low key imagining izaya in these new environments

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//i'm watching john wolfe play the outlast trials, and just seeing that outlast aesthetic again is making me miss it so much

i'm also low key imagining izaya in these new environments

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How are you, Izaya and mun?

Oh, what's this? Concern? Color him surprised, Izaya can't remember the last time anyone gave a damn about how he was feeling.

"Still alive and breathing." Whether that's a good or bad thing these days, he couldn't tell you. "Gears are still turning." He taps his noggin for effect. "Mind still in... one piece." More or less, at least on his good days. "Far more than you can say for the rest of these nutcases around here."

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//Mun: This ask is almost a year old, but I saw it while going through my inbox and decided better late than never. Things have been better, but I'm doing my best <3 Currently just working retail, trying to save money, and watching lots of new TV/movies (it's a goal of mine this year, funny as it sounds.) I really miss writing and I hope I can get back to doing it on a more regular basis someday. I hope you've been doing well, anon, if you're still around!

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It's been a while but I still love him...

Love him?

"Even after all this time?" It's a comfort, almost, that he hasn't been entirely forgotten; even if only remembered by a single soul, it's better than nothing. He still exists in someone's memory, somewhere. Someone not from here.

He puts on his best charming smile, though it doesn't quite deter his unstable gaze. Things haven't been easy.

"Can't be helped that I'm very hard to forget. But I have to wonder, are you sure of what your feelings are?"