unrealcities
unrealcities
the mayhem more than the love
42K posts
jillian, 30+, habituated to the tropics. specialist in failure. maelstrom-mouthed fish-trap. head full of lightning, hat full of rain.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
unrealcities · 22 minutes ago
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Everyone shut up! It’s the ten year anniversary
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unrealcities · 51 minutes ago
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(x, x, x)
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unrealcities · 1 hour ago
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unrealcities · 1 hour ago
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The signed jersey Guardiola gave Cesc 12 yrs ago (2001) after his parents we’re going through a divorce.
“For Francesc Fabregas, waiting a couple of years to see you wear the number 4 at the Camp Nou. Greetings. Good luck”
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unrealcities · 2 hours ago
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How about fish and chips?
No, i don’t like that. Sorry!
Gossip Girl! Desperate Housewives!
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THIS MAN DON’T EVER CHANGE! 
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unrealcities · 2 hours ago
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Cesc talking about how he used to avoid Henry whilst at Monaco
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unrealcities · 3 hours ago
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Sure you did
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unrealcities · 3 hours ago
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Lovable jester of the World-Cup-winning team turned rightwing Spanish nationalist, fired from his previous team due to his links to the Camorra, hired by our protagonist. Welcome to Como, Jose Manuel Reina.
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“Wholewheat pasta,” he declared, “is a blight upon the nation of Italy.”
“Cabron,” Pepe said, exaggerating the r so that he sounded more like an American’s caricature of a Spaniard than a World Cup winner with Spain, “you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“No, I mean it.” Cesc speared his fork into one of the offending pieces of penne. “We’re Como Football Club. We’re aspiring to be as iconic as the lake. When people think of Como, we want them to think of clear blue water and football.”
“You cannot be as iconic as the lake,” Pepe said wisely.
Cesc ignored him. It was Pepe. “How can we say that we are Como when we insist on feeding our footballers this?”
“You’re the big man now,” Pepe pointed out. “You can change the menu if you want.”
Cesc had changed the menu. Cesc had sat down with their longstanding kitchen staff and their frankly intimidating head chef and the team of nutritionist-dieticians Thierry had seduced away from Arsenal until a compromise acceptable to all parties had been reached. It had taken half a day. This was in the summer, before Pepe’s time. As far as Pepe was concerned, the top-flight blandness of the Mozzate’s cafeteria was just a sign that they were taking this Serie A business seriously. “Osh will kill me.”
“Eh, you can take him,” Pepe said, dismissive. “Also, you don’t have to follow the menu.”
Cesc absolutely could not take Osh. Cesc would not be surprised to learn that Osh did rugby league on the side. “Yes, I do.”
My kingdom for the fic where Cesc Fabregas gets quietly divorced and builds a home for himself* at Como while Gerard Pique gets very publicly divorced and grows into his role as sporting and media mogul that is subtextually about Cesc falling out of love with Gerard after more than half of his life (and also Cesc taking Leo's side in the Leo vs. Barca split)
*Again, again, for the nth time, and maybe one day it will stick. Maybe one day he'll stop being a chronic mover. But oh well.
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unrealcities · 8 hours ago
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Triple J's holding an Australian Music Hottest 100, lets gooooooo
https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/countdown/hottest100
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unrealcities · 8 hours ago
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when the scheming advisor is exposed and detained and yells at the guards to unhand him thats actually a pretty reasonable response. up until like two minutes ago that wouldve just worked.
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unrealcities · 9 hours ago
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birth year of ASOIAF characters if AGOT took place in 2025:
a lot of the characters in ASOIAF were aged up for the show (with good reason in a lot of cases) but one thing that always strikes me about the books is how YOUNG most of them are.
so here are what their birth years would be if the books started in 2025 (pretend their birthday this year already happened).
this based on ages in AGOT- if we meet the character later I added a year or so depending on the book (also I split groups by decades for ease of reading).
Aemon: 1926
Tywin: 1970
Jorah: 1985
Davos (if ACOK is 2026) and Oberyn (if ASOS is 2026): 1986
Robert Baratheon: 1989
Ned: 1990
Stannis: 1991
Catelyn: 1992
Jaime, Cersei, and Lysa: 1994
Drogo: 1995
Littlefinger: 1996
Sandor: 1998
Tyrion: 2001
Viserys and Renly: 2004
Theon: 2006
Shae and Brienne (if ACOK is 2026): 2007
Loras: 2009
Jon, Robb, Samwell, and Margaery: 2011
Daenerys, Joffrey, and Meera (if ACOK is 2026): 2012
Sansa: 2014
Jojun (if ACOK is 2026): 2015
Arya: 2016
Bran and Myrcella: 2018
Tommon: 2019
Robert Arryn: 2020
Rickon: 2023
please comment if I got anything wrong/forgot anyone! (characters whose ages are too ambiguous I didn't include)
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unrealcities · 9 hours ago
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This whole convo screams old married couple
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unrealcities · 10 hours ago
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People's reactions to my small talk post have really made it clear to me how much people think they should be able to opt out of society whenever they find parts of it boring or inconvenient.
"If someone engaged me in small talk I would just ignore them because it's pointless." Cool okay that would get many people fired.
"If someone engaged me in small talk I would just tell them that it's none of their business so I'm left alone." Wow impressive you're really showing that random stranger who asked you if you think it'll snow tomorrow.
"Why don't we ban small talk at work and school to help with efficiency?" Because we're not automatons, life is not just about efficiency, and asking your coworker how their weekend went or your classmate if they got stuck in the subway delay this morning isn't harmful or bad.
I recognize that there are people who are not capable of doing small talk or engaging at all verbally with anyone in a casual way, but some of the ways that some people have reacted feel a lot more like the "we don't owe our friends a ride to the airport or help moving" type vibe.
Community and society are built not just around our small group of extremely close friends and family but also our casual acquantainces, our coworkers, our classmates, the people with engage with professionally, the people with see at clubs or group lessons or religious meetings, the people we stand next to at bus stops.
And being autistic or ADHD or depressed or anxious or anything else doesn't mean that you get to opt out of society without consequences.
If the person sitting next to you at your knitting club asks how your day is going and you tell them to fuck off because you don't believe in small talk, you have just made this space less welcoming and safe for them, and you have cut off an avenue for yourself to meet someone. I'm willing to bet that that person will never try to talk to you again, and they'll probably tell other people what you said, and the space will become less friendly to you, all because you were unwilling to say, it's going fine, and you? or not great. I'm not great at small talk, but I'd love to learn more about what you're knitting instead or even I'm sorry, I'm having a long week and just need a little quiet right now.
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unrealcities · 10 hours ago
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Thought you kids might enjoy my dad’s collection of gay pins from the 80s and early 90s
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unrealcities · 11 hours ago
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Hear y'all like rats.
You can get your rat ass prints also:
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unrealcities · 11 hours ago
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Just saw a post asking how tall people are and now I want to make it a poll. Apologies to people in the fringe height categories, you do not get specifics.
I had to consult a chart for this
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unrealcities · 12 hours ago
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when we have our 30 year reunion, who in the squad would be in the best shape?
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