up-to-some-good

[up-to-some-good]

Sunscreen - @wolfstarmicrofic - 497 words

Remus hated going to the beach. For him, it meant either dying from the heat because of his clothes, or wearing far too little for him to feel comfortable.

Of course the other marauders knew that, meaning they were now hanging out on Sirius’ private beach in fucking France. Apparently, it went with the villa he had inherited from his uncle Alphard, where they resided in.

So now Remus only had to endure the feeling of sand everywhere and every part of his body being sticky from the seawater.

James and Peter were still roughhousing in the water, but Sirius had gotten cold and Remus hungry so they had gone back. Meaning he was now sitting on a wet, sandy towel, munching on a cracker.

His gaze shifted from the two boys to Sirius next to him. He was lying on his back and suddenly Remus noticed his shoulders were turning a dangerous shade of red.

“Pads?” No reaction. “Padfoot?” Remus swallowed his last bite. “Sirius?” Remus took the time to listen to his breathing and… Sirius was dead asleep.

Remus knew he had problems sleeping, so he didn’t want to wake him up. But Sirius would be suffering from his sunburns the rest of the holiday if he didn’t do something.

Which left Remus with only one option really. Cautiously, he took the factor 50 sunscreen from Sirius’ bag.

Remus convinced himself this was not weird, he had applied sunscreen to Sirius’ back not three hours ago when he’d asked. There was no difference.

Still, he had to stop himself from glancing over his shoulder every five seconds to check where James and Peter were.

Softly, he pressed his hands with the warmed up cream to Sirius’ shoulder blades. He tried to do it as fast as possible, but couldn’t help but linger a little. No shame in indulging a little, now there was no one to say something about it.

So Remus applied sunscreen to Sirius’ flaming hot shoulders, his slightly red neck. Then, he also did his lower back, just to be sure. Reluctantly, he retreated his hands. Just when he had dumped the flask back in Sirius’ bag, the boy began to move.

His head turned so he was facing Remus. “Thanks Moony,” he murmured softly. One of his eyes opened to look at him, and a lovely little smile painted his face.

Remus nervously wiped his hands clean on his legs. “Uhh, yeah. Of course.”

Sirius hummed satisfied, eye closing again.

“Didn’t know you were awake.” Why did he say that?

Sirius just hummed again. “Was just comfy. Also didn’t wanna startle you.”

Remus didn’t know what to respond. He settled for a hum, as if that meant something.

“I actually preferred the way you did it this time,” Sirius said casually. “Felt way less rushed. It was very sweet really.”

Remus didn’t notice that one eye peeking open again.

And the blush on his cheeks he blamed entirely on the heat.

[up-to-some-good]

a comment a day keeps the insanity at bay

[up-to-some-good]

hey! Hope you’re well💘 will there be an in lieu of flowers update today? (In the least pushy way poss!!!!!) :)

Hi!! So lovely of you, I'm doing well thank you! Hope you're well too! Not pushy at all, and perfect timing 😊 chapter 9 has just been posted!

"Was that a joke?" Sirius asked, leaning forward, intrigued despite himself. "Did you just make a joke?" "I make jokes." Remus replied, with a frown. And then his eyes slid away. "Not always funny ones, but-" "Ha." Sirius mocked, rolling his eyes.

Link to Chapter 9 of In Lieu of Flowers 💛 really hope you enjoy! xo

[up-to-some-good]

DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS

Thanks for existing

[up-to-some-good]

Chapter update!

Chapter 10 of I ain't letting up (until the day I die) is up! Please go read the chapter and let me know your thoughts in the comments.

You can read the most recent update here, or start from the beginning

Chapter excerpt:

"I’m the chaos to your calm.” “And I need the chaos?” “Everyone needs a little chaos. Otherwise life would be boring.”

[up-to-some-good]

Fel i Fod

AO3 // Spotify // Mood board Wolfstar // E // 17k words // Complete // 75th Hunger Games AU // @moonyfest

"I'll find you," Sirius says suddenly, breaking the silence Remus has been stewing in for the last few hours.

Of course he will, Remus would do the same thing. It's his only plan really—find Sirius and spend his last few days with him. Even in the hellscape that is the arena, that is the one tiny glimmering positive Remus is clinging to.

Remus smiles sadly, taking Sirius' hand in his and intertwining their fingers. "If I slow you down—" he starts to say.

"No." Sirius cuts him off before Remus can voice it. "We stick together, we stand a better chance in numbers."

It doesn't make sense to Remus. Alliances are all well and good in the first few days when there is a common enemy, but there will only be one victor when it's all over. He doesn't argue the point though; there is no use in it.

He takes their joined fingers, presses a kiss to Sirius' knuckles. "It would have been nice to grow old together," he whispers.

[up-to-some-good]

Remus was carried up the stairs, only half aware of the things going on around him, too focused on the steady grip of Sirius' hand on his waist to really care.

Sirius helped him into their dorm room. The arms wrapped around him tightened as he guided Remus towards his bed.

Remus couldn't help but let out a small giggle once the door was closed.

He couldn't hear the noise from the party anymore, the pressure in his head finally releasing.

"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked, watching him intensely. 

Remus smiled dopily at him. "Better now that we're alone."

Sirius sighed. "Honestly, Remus. How's your head? Is it getting any better?"

Remus pouted at the no-nonsense look on his face. "It still hurts a little.”

"Okay... Is there anything I can do? I can get you water or a potion. Anything you want."

Remus' smile turned coy. "You could kiss it better?"

Sirius groaned, turning away from him. "Gods, Moony. Can you just stop for a second? How much did you drink?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't want to stop."

Sirius sighed again, this time sounding defeated. "Let's get some sleep, alright? I'll grab your pyjamas. Please don't fight me on this. You need to rest."

Remus didn't say anything, watching quietly as Sirius left his side to dig through Remus’ trunk. 

He felt a chill wash over him the instant he was alone.

"Sirius?" He called, his voice shaking.

Sirius came back right away. "What's wrong? Are you alright?" He reached up to feel Remus' forehead.

Remus leaned into the touch without thought. "I don't want you to leave,” he whispered.

And he meant it this time. The thought of Sirius going away was too much for him to handle. 

Sirius watched him for a long moment. His gaze was much softer than before when he finally nodded. "Okay. I won't, I promise. I'm right here." 

He pulled the blankets back and nodded for Remus to get in, helping him out of his shoes.

Remus' words slurred as he stumbled into the bed. “I think I'm falling for you."

Sirius stared at him. Wide eyes and with what looked like a twinge of hope. 

Or maybe Remus was just too drunk.

"What did you say?" Sirius whispered.

Remus pulled Sirius into the bed with him. He didn't care that his shoes were still on or that they were both still in their school uniforms. He just wanted Sirius.

He gave a sigh of relief, nuzzling against his chest, more comfortable than he had been in ages. "I'm falling for you."

Sirius didn't reply. Or maybe he had and Remus had already fallen asleep.

And, at some point, he could have sworn he felt the light press of Sirius' lips against his forehead. 

But it was probably just a dream.

[up-to-some-good]

No update this week on account of the fact that I just can't get there.

Follow the links in this post to catch up/start the fic, and I'll be back next week with chapter 10

Chapter 9

The latest chapter of I ain't letting up (until the day I die) is up. Another heavy one, as is becoming the norm for this fic.

CW for PPD and general mental health struggles. Please pay attention to the notes at the beginning, and let me know if I should add any content warnings. I tried my best with this topic, and I hope I did it justice.

Read the chapter here or start from the beginning

Excerpt:

“You just don’t want to believe it’s the father.” “That too,” Sirius agreed. “The story’s off if it’s him. And I saw him that morning. You can’t fake that kind of devastation.” Remus rolled his eyes. “There’s no story here, Sirius,” he said. “This is real life, and we can’t always wrap it up neatly. It’s messy and full of grey areas.” “I am aware of that, Lupin,” Sirius snapped back. “But there’s still no evidence against him.” “I’ll concede on that point, but I don’t know who else it could be.”

[up-to-some-good]

🤍🤍🤍

[up-to-some-good]

Blood

Word Count: 810 - @wolfstarmicrofic

"So…" Sirius began, leaning precariously on the back two legs of his chair. "How do we do the whole blood brothers thing?" He was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and still reeling from the thrill of sneaking into the library after dark - into the restricted section, no less - as a mere first year.

James looked up from the large tome he had been sifting through. He matched Sirius' toothy grin, pushed up his glasses, and whispered excitedly, "the ritual's right here. We mix a little blood, swear the oath, and that's us sorted."

☆★☆

"Blood brothers, right?" Sirius asked reluctantly. They had known what that promise meant since they made it a year ago: unconditional loyalty; complete understanding; and all-encompassing love, no matter the situation. This was a situation.

Sirius had been fixed to his armchair for the better part of an hour, expression unreadable. His eyes were locked on the empty space where Remus normally resided, leaning against his pillow with a book in hand.

"Course, mate." James' response was immediate as he followed Sirius' gaze.

Trusting, but hesitant with the weight of what felt like a secret that wasn't his to share, he confessed, "I think Remus is a werewolf."

There was silence.

He tore his eyes off the bed, searching James' face for any signs of judgement. He didn't find them. All he saw were warm, brown eyes and an expectant look.

Sirius nodded, mostly trying to convince himself that this was going to be ok. "How do we help him, James?"

☆★☆

"Oi," James tried, prodding Sirius with his wand. He was trying to engineer the greatest prank of all time here, to end their fourth year with a bang. He'd been explaining the minutiae of the plan to his partner in crime. You know, trying to get a second opinion on the matter. But the other boy had been nodding along absentmindedly and picking at his dinner for the last half hour.

When the wand didn't work, he tried a gentle shove of the shoulder. Sirius barely moved an inch.

"Pads!," James whined, right into his best mate's ear. "Padfoot!" Sirius let out a distracted hum in response.

"Ok, that's it." James grabbed a hold of his friend, tugging him out of the Great Hall and into a secluded corridor, away from prying eyes and ears. "What's wrong?"

Sirius looked away, trying to focus on anything but James' worried face. He was fidgeting with his hands awkwardly and mumbling something nonsensical about being just fine.

James wasn't having any of it. "You can't lie to me, mate. We're blood brothers."

He knew that would work. It always did.

Sirius glanced up at him, grey eyes brimming with tears. His voice was barely audible, just a whisper in the wind. "I think I might like guys."

James waited. Surely that wasn't it. When nothing followed, he decided to check. "Was that all?"

"I-" Sirius' eyebrows shot up in indignation. "Was that all? I just told you that I'm gay and you have the audacity to ask me if-" He stopped himself mid-rant, as if he'd just remembered something. His outrage dissipated and was replaced with that same bashfulness from before. "There is more…"

James kept waiting.

"I think I rather like Moony."

☆★☆

The barn was buzzing with the sound of laughter, hundreds of feet, and a rotation of '70s hits. An amplifying charm and clinking glass brought everything to a halt.

"Excuse me, everyone!" James announced. He stood at the far end of the room, on a makeshift stage, looking astoundingly put together in his suit and tie. When all eyes were on him, he began his speech in earnest.

"I've had the honour of knowing Sirius and Remus since we were 11. We were fast friends, the four of us!" James gestured towards Peter, sat happily at his table, and the beaming couple.

"Now, as much as I don't like to pick favorites," he continued, eliciting chuckles from the crowd, "Sirius is undoubtedly my best mate." James smiled affectionately at his dark-haired friend and pretended not to notice him brush away a tear.

"From the moment we met on that train, it was like something clicked. We just knew that, no matter what, we'd be there for each other. Through good and bad times, and all that!" he joked.

Then, more seriously, "I couldn't be more thrilled to be here, congratulating you on your wedding day."

He turned his attention to Remus. "Take care of him, yeah?"

He was met with jovial laughter and enthusiastic nods from the otherwise reserved man. It seemed like marriage had brought out a new side of him.

Satisfied, James toasted his two friends. "To Sirius and Remus!"

Then, more quietly - entirely for himself, and for how far Sirius had come - James added, " and to blood brothers."

[up-to-some-good]

Brother

Word Count: 710 - @wolfstarmicrofic

The Astronomy Tower was draped in sweet silence and glowing with starlight. Save the rush of a gentle breeze, felt much more strongly at this height, everything was still, Sirius included. This was his spot.

When the world felt too noisy, or the dorms felt too stuffy, this was where he went. Not much could compare to drinking up the vastness of the cosmos, as if he held it in his hands.

"Sirius?"

The sound of his own name pulled him from his reverie.

"Regulus," was his response. He would know that voice blind. Merlin, he would know it if he were chained to the floor of the sea, held captive by the force of waves far greater than him, and flooded by the cacophony of all the world's oceans.

"Can I…?" His brother's words were laced with trepidation. Sirius had half a mind to let him squirm, to let him sit in his discomfort. He should feel awkward. They hadn't spoken since…well, since Sirius left.

Sirius patted the spot next to him, inviting Regulus to sit. He didn't turn towards him, didn't ask what he wanted. They knew each other too well for that. He would speak when he was ready.

Still, Sirius wasn't ready for the words when they finally came. "I know," spoke Regulus, voice barely audible even in the quiet.

That made Sirius turn around, made him fix his gaze on his younger brother, and look at him in mild horror. "You know…?"

Regulus didn't respond.

"You know? What do you mean, you know? Regulus, you can't just say that!" Sirius was panicking now, voice crescedoing from a furious whisper to a barely-contained yell.

Regulus didn't flinch as he fixated on the blinking sky. After a moment, he turned to a seething Sirius, eyes wide and thoughtful, and said, "about you and Lupin."

Sirius felt his heart drop. Regulus wouldn't- no, couldn't- well. He could. He very well could. Sirius could picture him right now: mummy's little golden boy, running up to Walburga with a juicy, new piece of disgrace to report upon. His mother might actually kill him, she had threatened the curse enough times.

Except, well, she couldn't. Not now. Not anymore.

So, Sirius used some of his Gryffindor bravery. He played it off with a laugh, loud and barking, as he asked, "yeah? What about us?"

Regulus had never been easily fooled. "About the fact that you're in love."

Hearing it put so plainly was…oddly nice.

Regulus continued to explain. "I've seen you hold hands."

They had been so careful, Sirius thought. Little touches under the table at dinner, and winding ankles together in the middle of class. They knew they couldn't just hold hands. So they saved it for when no one else was in the library; for when no other prefects were on duty; and for when- shut up.

"I've seen the way you stare at him, like he hung the moon."

Ok, that was absurd, and Sirius made sure Regulus could tell by the look on his face. As if staring meant anything. So what if he liked to watch Remus read? What if he enjoyed the way the other boy's nose crinkled at certain parts? It wasn't odd to watch your friend sprawl across the lawn in the sun and relish in the sliver of skin that peeks out as he stretches. It- even if Sirius had done that, how could Regulus have noticed?

"And I caught you snogging each other's faces off yesterday."

Well. Sirius had no arguments for that one. Instead, he resorted to opening and closing his mouth several times, gaping like a very confused fish. Eventually, he decided on, "mother?"

Regulus merely shook his head in a resolute no. Sirius studied him, finding nothing but sincerity.

He couldn't be sure of how much time had passed, as the two of them sat side by side, searching for distant galaxies. Sirius faintly wondered if his brother was dreaming of running away to them, like he had not too long ago.

Regulus broke the silence again, voice hushed and filled with wonder. "How did you know…?"

"Know what?" Sirius didn't need to ask, but he did anyway. He smiled into the heavens and thanked his lucky stars.

[up-to-some-good]

Remus Lupin quietly crying at night because he feels like a bad friend for bailing out on plans AGAIN because of a flare up.

Sirius Black coming over the day tgey had plans to help him because he knows if Remus is bailing then the pain is really bad

Remus Lupin watching his friends all run off ahead of him as he limps trying to catch up

James Potter slowing down and walking with Remus at his pace.

Remus Lupin the walking pharmacy because he has chronic pain and takes a lot for it.

Peter Pettigrew with chronic migraines borrowing from the pharmacy of Lupin

Regulus black being diagnosed with EDS and struggling to come to terms with it.

Remus Lupin teaching him how to live despite it with different accommodations

[up-to-some-good]

spouse - @wolfstarmicrofic - cw: trans/homophobia - word count: 440

There was a lot Remus liked about his new job at the doctor’s office. There was the wonderful insurance. The immediate access to healthcare professionals. The normal working hours and the clean front desk area that made his heart happy. Even Eleanor, the woman who was training him, was an absolute angel.

The only downside was Donna.

Donna had started out okay enough. A normal middle-aged woman with a bit of a nosy streak and long nails that clacked obnoxiously when she checked in patients. But when Remus had brought in cookies for the office staff one day, courtesy of Sirius, Donna had immediately said, “Oh, these are lovely! Who made them, your wife?”

And Remus, after looking down from the rainbow pin on his nametag to the ‘I <3 my husband’ sticker on his water bottle, had simply replied, “Erm. Sirius, my spouse, made them.”

Yes, he probably could’ve been clearer. But also…the amused look from Eleanor had said it all. Remus’s grandpa-sweater, pride-pin-wearing vibe wasn’t exactly screaming straight, in his mind.

And Donna…well, Donna liked to complain about having to write down patients’ pronouns. She also refused to listen every time Remus tried to explain why that would be something important.

So yeah, Remus was not Donna’s biggest fan.

Donna, however, seemed to have similar taste to Remus. Because one evening, when Sirius came to pick Remus up at the end of the day, Donna went limp.

“Who is that?” she hissed to Eleanor, her eyes wide as saucers.

“That’s–” Remus began to answer, but Donna cut him off.

“I’ll talk to him,” she said eagerly, straightening up. 

Sirius, grinning, sauntered into the office, leather jacket in hand, white t-shirt clinging to his body. Even Remus felt his stomach flip, and he got to take Sirius home. 

“Can I help you, sir?” Donna simpered, eyelashes fluttering.

“Oh, yes,” Sirius replied, all smiles. “I’m here for something special.”

Remus almost felt bad for Donna, with the way Sirius was playing her. But he remembered the time she’d talked about thinking a straight pride parade was an excellent idea, and instantly, the guilt went away.

“I can help you with anything,” the older woman whispered, face red. 

Behind her hand, Eleanor began giggling. Remus shot her a look.

“Well. Donna. Can I please have…” Sirius began, trailing off, making Donna almost drool with anticipation.

“Yes?”

“My husband?”

Donna blinked, clearly confused. “Your–?”

“Husband, yeah. That handsome man over there,” Sirius grinned, gesturing to Remus, who blushed and stood. 

“That’s me! Goodnight, all!”

And with that, he walked out of the office, leaving a hysterical Eleanor and a furious-looking Donna behind.

[up-to-some-good]

Chapter 9

The latest chapter of I ain't letting up (until the day I die) is up. Another heavy one, as is becoming the norm for this fic.

CW for PPD and general mental health struggles. Please pay attention to the notes at the beginning, and let me know if I should add any content warnings. I tried my best with this topic, and I hope I did it justice.

Read the chapter here or start from the beginning

Excerpt:

“You just don’t want to believe it’s the father.” “That too,” Sirius agreed. “The story’s off if it’s him. And I saw him that morning. You can’t fake that kind of devastation.” Remus rolled his eyes. “There’s no story here, Sirius,” he said. “This is real life, and we can’t always wrap it up neatly. It’s messy and full of grey areas.” “I am aware of that, Lupin,” Sirius snapped back. “But there’s still no evidence against him.” “I’ll concede on that point, but I don’t know who else it could be.”

[up-to-some-good]

the potter family

[up-to-some-good]

husband - wolfstar raising harry - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 210

“D’you ever feel like we’re doing a shit job with Harry?” Remus asked thoughtfully as he washed the dishes in their little cottage, turning to look at Sirius.

Sirius laughed. “At least once a day. But I know James would be proud of us, and that’s all that matters. Why?”

“Because today, when I took him to the store to get more milk, Harry insisted on being the one to give the person the money, like he usually does, you know,” Remus started to explain.

Sirius nodded, smiling fondly at the way his Godson loved to be the one to present the bills to the store clerks. 

“Well, the man at the register was impressed…I’m assuming he doesn’t often get four-year-olds buying milk. So he said, ‘Oh, my wife and I have a son about your age and he doesn’t know how to handle money yet!’” Remus went on.

“But that’s good, isn’t it?” Sirius asked, confused. “We’ve raised him to be pretty independent, I think…”

“Oh, I’m not done,” Remus replied darkly. “Then, Harry goes. ‘You mean husband. Boys have husbands, and girls have wives. Right?’”

Sirius stared, unblinking, for several seconds, before he burst out laughing. “Oh, Merlin. I think we forgot to tell him about straight people.”

[up-to-some-good]

Husband

Word Count: 520 - @wolfstarmicrofic cw: references to dying

"Moony and I are running away together," Sirius had said, huffing at James and Peter for landing the four of them in detention.

"You are?!" James gasped, clutching his chest as if the very idea wounded him.

Sirius had nodded solemnly, declaring that they simply had no choice but to elope, live in the Highlands, and "do whatever it is they did in that muggle movie about nazis and music".

He had been 14, narrating an elaborate story about raising sheep together, and he hadn't noticed Remus' flushed cheeks.

☆★☆

"Think we should get married too?" Sirius had asked, leaning over to whisper in Remus' ear.

Remus jumped at the deep voice, the warm breath on his neck, and (obviously) the words. He barely managed to croak out a panicked "what?!"

Sirius had simply chuckled, eyes bright and lips curled into a light smirk, as he gestured towards James and Lily stood beneath a floral archway, their hands clasped together.

He had been 18, half-heartedly insisting that he felt left out, and Remus wasn't entirely sure if it was a joke.

☆★☆

"Did you ever really mean it?" Remus had wondered aloud, studying the way Sirius held on to his cup as if it might tether him to the real world and remind him that he was here, in Remus' cottage, and not there.

Sirius stirred at his voice, tilting his head and furrowing his brow in confusion.

Remus had taken a deep, shaky breath and forced himself to push through the question which had haunted him for longer than he cared to admit.

"All those times," he began, trying to keep the fear out of his words. "When you said we should- when you asked about- asked me about marriage, or…or got down on one knee for a laugh, or…"

Remus let the words hang between them, not sure how to go forward and certain that he couldn't go back.

"Most of the time," Sirius confessed, not a trace of mockery in sight. "I meant it most of the time."

He had been 35, admitting to a secret that was over a decade old, and Remus didn't know if he should laugh or cry.

☆★☆

"Marry me," Sirius pleaded, through sputtering coughs and wheezing breaths.

Remus didn't hear him through the ringing in his ears and the echo of Harry's screams from mere moments ago.

It was only when he hauled Sirius away, putting enough distance between him and that wretched veil, did he decipher the words the other man was repeating like a prayer.

Remus took in his heaving chest, his audible gasps, and the pure desparation radiating off of him. Sirius was clearly recovering from his brush with death, and reeling from the shock of-

"Can you even hear me, Moony?" Sirius checked, somehow still managing to sound incredulous.

Remus stared at him.

"Marry me," Sirius asked again, this time adding, "I don't want to die without calling you my husband."

He was 36, invigorated by what felt like a second chance at living, and only slightly offended that this was the proposal Remus chose to accept.