userapparentlydead - Tumblr blog

[userapparentlydead]

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I never truly loved you

I spited the world and I spited myself

You draw me in like a moth to the flame

But despite the fear in my bones

The dread of being with you

I was still good to you

I was kind and careful with my words

I had my issues but I never let you see

I vowed to be everything you'd ever need

You took my heart in your hands and you crushed it

You ripped it in half and put part in your pocket

I wanted to be ok but I was missing

I was alone and I was scared and I wanted myself back

But I didn't know the difference between myself and you

I lost myself

I lost my name and my face and my touch

I wish you would have said you hated me

Maybe that's why I did it

To get you to leave

To give back the part of me you took

And just let me be

[userapparentlydead]

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For your birthday I'd give you a lily I'd say the orange matched your eyes You feign ignorance to the meaning So I smile at your lies

For Christmas you'd get carnations; "They're yellow like your name!" You wonder if I meant it You'd accept them all the same

In real life you get a crown Atop a rabbit's head Two things my prince adores To love you in my stead

You'd never understand The words I left behind I hold your hand with spite A smile in my eyes

My final message was a rose A blue to match the sky A message lost to the wind One you long to leave behind

[userapparentlydead]

Im the court jester

I know far too much

Far too educated for my own good

The prince is crying

The town is dying

And he chose to run away

How pathetic and foolish

A cowardly prince

A foolish royalty

Begging for the peasant sympathy

With his sad little story

His tears made of gold

He sits in his throne all day

He wishes to be special!

I cant help but laugh

For the blind prince led you all astray

[userapparentlydead]

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I hated you and that's why I'd die for you.

The prince with his tilted crown.

I can't wait to watch your city burn.