usuallydyinginside

[usuallydyinginside]

As a fic writer, i need every reader to know that:

I don’t care if your comment is coherent. I know what you mean and i love you

I don’t care if you ramble. I read every word and i love you

I don’t care if you leave a comment on a fic from four years ago or leave comments/kudos on like ten of my fics in one go. This isn’t IG, pls stalk my AO3. I love you

I don’t care if you mention the same thing in your comment that four other people have already mentioned. It’s actually really useful to know what resonated with people and I love everyone who takes the time to tell me they liked a particular turn of phrase

I don’t mind if your comment is super long or just a couple of sentences, i love them all

I love you

[usuallydyinginside]

a comment a day keeps the insanity at bay

[usuallydyinginside]

[usuallydyinginside]

I am obsessed with the visual contrast (and inherent significance) of Astarion and Karlach’s skin. Pearly smooth and pale, dusky red and covered in scar tissue.

It’s such a drastically different representation of their captivity, torture and pain, but so rich in meaning…

I imagine Astarion tracing fingertips over her rough skin as she sleeps beside him. Softly touching her deep scars and burns, finding the few spots left of her that are unblemished, seeing how scars over scars hardened her flesh and thinking… of her pain, and his.

AGH!

[usuallydyinginside]

On writing sexual tension

⊹ standing too close. like just barely not touching. why are their shoulders breathing on each other??

⊹ conversations that sound normal but feel like foreplay. “pass the salt” has never been so loaded.

⊹ one of them says something flirty and the other freezes for 0.2 seconds like “oh.”

⊹ eyes dropping to lips and then—back up. with effort.

⊹ holding eye contact just a little too long. like... are they gonna kiss or duel??

⊹ unintentional physical contact that lasts one second too long and now they’re both broken

⊹ a hand on the small of the back. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

⊹ tension so thick that other characters start noticing like “hey are you two okay?” (they are not)

⊹ “accidental” sleepovers. “oh no there’s only one bed.” yeah. suuuure.

⊹ biting back a smile. biting back a moan. biting anything really.

⊹ one of them walks away and the other has to physically restrain themselves from watching the hips

⊹ lots of sighing. frustrated sighs. horny sighs. “i want to kiss you but I’m emotionally unavailable” sighs.

[usuallydyinginside]

“First and foremost I’m writing for myself,” I hiss through my teeth, resisting the urge to refresh my email for an Ao3 message for the 100th time.

[usuallydyinginside]

Me, returning to AO3 with a new chapter after a billion years:

[usuallydyinginside]

Hold me under the starlight.

[usuallydyinginside]

Good luck for 📕 📖 things?

Good luck for 💰 💴 /job things?

I’ll take anything this post has on offer. 🥺🙏 It’s been a rough year.

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[usuallydyinginside]

Hey everyone, remember that being sick or healing from injuries is a hard time for your body. You have to eat a lot and lay still and be kind to yourself! [large neon sign that says HYPOCRITE descends from the ceiling and points at me] Hey what the heck what's this who put that there

[usuallydyinginside]

They're just trying to remember how to be people.

[usuallydyinginside]

what if you do a poll thats like you have 4 options: 10%, 20%, 30%, and 40%, and ypu gotta have eaxh option like be that percent yk??? like 10% of people voted 10%, 20% of people voted 20%, ect.

[usuallydyinginside]

when u dont like ur art take a deep breath and remember u created it from nothing, like a god

[usuallydyinginside]

Something I love about confronting Cazador is how he obviously never processes that Astarion has friends until it's too late.

Petras and Dalyria must have mentioned that Astarion wasn't alone when they met him, but when you read Cazador's journal? He's 100% fixated on Astarion. How Astarion stood in the sun, how Astarion was willing and able to disobey him. And when Astarion shows up, Cazador barely acknowledges the party at all - and sure, that's partly because this is Astarion's moment in the narrative, but Cazador doesn't so much as ask why these random strangers are there! They're not part of his plans, so they don't exist.

And then they immediately save his errant spawn from the ritual and start beating his ass.

Just. What must have been going through Cazador's head when that fight starting turning against him? 'Is that... the Blade of Frontiers? Why is a monster hunter - and is that a cleric? - helping a vampire spawn? An undead? Ah, but they must be treating it as a necessary evil to have a chance to slay me, of course - hold on, why is the cleric healing Astarion? Why does that wizard keep Counterspelling everything I'm casting at Astarion, why waste the spells when I'm not even targeting him? Did... did that druid just cast Daylight on Astarion's weapons? And that brute of a tiefling - that's not just disgust in her eye when she looks at me, it's fury - and she keeps putting herself in front of Astarion, why in the hells would she - she's running right at me- '

I hope that one of the last things Cazador ever knew was the choking realisation that Astarion didn't just come back strong, or free. Astarion came back loved.

[usuallydyinginside]

Someone once told me that the best tactic for an interrogation is silence. It has a 100% success rate. It worked on their kids, on people who were in trouble for polluting (they worked for the government to protect the environment), on rude strangers… everyone.

I have yet to see this advice fail.

(Best story example: She used it on her kid once, sort of by accident. She got a flyer for a parent night and jokingly asked “(Kiddo), is there something you wanted to tell me?” The kid had been keeping a ton of secrets and just started spilling every single one every time another silence fell. 😂)

this is from a "manipulation advice" video and it's just so fucking funny to me. why didn't I think of responding to insults like this

[usuallydyinginside]

"i don't comment on ao3 because i don't wanna be annoying or weird" skill issue + you greatly underestimate the power dynamic here, writing multi paragraph comments is like feeding a bunch of deeply insane and possibly starved ducks at the park and watch them go completely mad over having received a piece of bread

[usuallydyinginside]

cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it