v4mpryuu - Tumblr blog

[v4mpryuu]

i look for a picture of you, to keep in my pocket.

it's so cold outside, hirotsu thought, keeping his hands buried in his pockets. he loves winter, but he gets cold really easily and that's pretty annoying. even though the cold is unbearable, he won't go home just yet. he likes this street, it reminds him of the days if his youth, of her. it's so easy to think of that woman, especially since everything reminds him of her, of what they had. it was cold when they last met. it was even colder the days after that meeting, not outside, but in his heart. he can't believe he let gin convince him.

"please, just one photo! i wanna see if you really are good!" he told him, his voice soft and shy. they talk a lot, she knows so much about him, but still won't feel comfortable enough to speak with ease.

he agreed to her request: tomorrow, he'll have to take his old camera again and take a few pictures of akutagawa gin. they are so stubborn, there was no way hirotsu could've said no to her. but still, the way they are so fierce, so beautifully strong, it really makes hirotsu think of the old times. of haruko.

oh, how beautiful was to run around the streets with her, hands intertwined, hearts racing and giant smiles dancing on their lips. how easy it was, to let himself being hidden by a camera, all he saw was her, her, her. only her.

he swore he would've never taken photos again, but with a person that reminded hirotsu so much of his only true love, how could he refuse? how could he even think of saying no? so he didn't, he agreed.

he finally decided to go home, the cold being too strong for him to even enjoy it anymore.

once he reached his house, a small apartment on top of a bakery, he took off his coat and walked to his bedroom. a sudden feeling of nostalgia made him reach under his bed, a small box now in his hands.

he opened it with the key that he has on his neck, a bunch of photos in it. some really old ones, the ones where haruko was smiling or laughing or whining and it was so beautiful, she was so beautiful. he gently caressed one of the pics, looking at how gentle the crinkle of her smiling eyes looked, how soft her lips looked stretched around that laughing expression. she vanished a bit from his memory every passing year, but at least he still had her photos.

some other photos were a bit more recent. the most recent one depicted two people: a little boy and a little girl. their eyes so dark, as well as their hair. the akutagawa siblings. they looked so much like her, when they were young. they still do, sometimes.

he remembers being handed this picture by dazai, when he asked who they were. he immediately grew fond of them.

it could be that they reminded him of the children he couldn't have with her, hirotsu didn't know. but he's now used to call them his family, as well as tachihara and higuchi.

he's so glad to have them. and maybe gin's right, why would he stop taking pictures after her and him were ripped apart? why stop doing the only thing that connected them, when he could've continued and kept in his pocket so many other moments of his life?

even though there would never be another model like her, there would be so many other important people to him in his life and why stop myself from capturing them?, he thought.