vampirebbakshi - Tumblr blog

[vampirebbakshi]

Ian is asking me if we can start selling our own form of blue checkmarks on the Mythic Quest servers.

For once that dog brain heathen has a good idea on how to make money.

Maybe we'll do blood red checkmarks for Raven's Banquet for $25 a pop.

[vampirebbakshi]

Greetings, my vampire counterpart. I have another question for you (and no, it doesn't involve the stinky overalls you still haven't collected): what's your opinion on Goncharov? Good, bad, somewhere in between, does it make you want to rip someone's teeth out...?

oh brother of mine, I was there when Martin Scorsese thought of Goncharov. I was there when they filmed it. I was there for the premiere.

as for my opinion on it - it's makes me want to retract my teeth all the way back until they're piercing my skull.

But honestly, I don't remember much of it. I slept through the rest of the 70s bc disco had my ears bleeding. Goncharov was the same.

[vampirebbakshi]

Monday afternoon in the office:

David's been crying about divorce and being lonely again and Ian tried to ask me if it's a good idea to put vampires in the game.

I'm surrounded by weirdos.

[vampirebbakshi]

Or I could be a vampire with rabies. :3

a disgrace within our community. we'd have to burn you.

[vampirebbakshi]

Hmm, good point about the blood bags. Acquiring them would be a bit difficult.

What if I got a bat to bite me?

Also, why I want to be a vampire.... that's for me to know and you to never find out.

You'll get rabies.

[vampirebbakshi]

Braaaaaaad 🥺 you know how I'm your fave tester bc im not annoying and in love with a co-worker and get my job done and I also pick out every single lil jelly bean that Poppy poured into your blood bag drawer? 🥺🥺🥺

Brad would you come to Everlight this year? And dress up maybe 😁😙

Pleeeeeease 😗

kay bye, don't od on the B- I stocked up for you xoxo

Dani stop texting like a white pick me girl omfg.

I don't care that you're my fave tester, I'm not going to Everlight unless I can go against Ian and beat the shit out of that ripped jackass but no. Royals can't fight.

PUSSY.

p.s I guess thanks for the B-, kinda hard to find, well done kid. also poppy left MORE CANDY IN MY DRAWER PLEASE TAKE THEM OUT ON MONDAY ASAP

[vampirebbakshi]

I wish you'd go bald bc then you'd look like a potato and then I could mash the potato and pour my blood gravy over my mash and rare steak and eat a nice meal.

But, I guess I could give you an idea on how to mess with David:

Send him random notes using cut up newspaper letters lol. classic.

Hey, grandpa willy. You asked about overalls, well, I got them right here! Come and get em.

Ok. Ok. Nice one. yeah because I'm like 400 years old haha.

Well at least I don't looked like a washed up fish about to take it's last breath before I'm made into sushi.

Go clean your toilets in your gear from The Gap whilst I continue to wear some fine ass Louis Vuitton and sit at my desk sipping on a latte xoxo

[vampirebbakshi]

What if I brought blood bags with me and just give the vampire those in exchange for being turned?

1. Where are you gonna get your blood bags from? I doubt you have the ability to just take them from the hospital like me or any other Vampire in the organisation do.

2. Having more blood on you whilst in the Wine Market and Red District is gonna draw more attention to ya buddy. No.

3. Not all Vamps drink from blood bags. It's still about 50/50 who don't drain humans completely.

4. Why do you want to be a vampire so bad.

5. How about no.

[vampirebbakshi]

Hey, grandpa willy. You asked about overalls, well, I got them right here! Come and get em.

Ok. Ok. Nice one. yeah because I'm like 400 years old haha.

Well at least I don't looked like a washed up fish about to take it's last breath before I'm made into sushi.

Go clean your toilets in your gear from The Gap whilst I continue to wear some fine ass Louis Vuitton and sit at my desk sipping on a latte xoxo

[vampirebbakshi]

Is there a vampire turning business or something somewhere where I can throw my money at, then? If so, any recommendations?

There probably is somewhere on our red light district and the darker side of our wine market but I wouldn't reccomend it. They'd probably promise to turn you but end up draining you dry.

Also, I wouldn't recommend a human walking in the underground of the market, alone.

[vampirebbakshi]

If I ask you to bite me and turn me into a vampire, then can I drink from the blood bags?

No.

Never turned a human and I don't intend to.

[vampirebbakshi]

betting Poppy throws wet balls of TP to the bathroom ceilings when she's bored. Or angry.

Also: sucks to suck.

Someone TP-ed the bathrooms on the fourth, fifth, and six floors. Again. Like, oh my fucking. It looks like a tornado, a hurricane, and an earthquake hit this restroom all at once.

What the fuck, man??? Seriously, what do you get out of this? No wonder the elevator and stairwells keep getting held up by people wanting to use not-TP-ed bathrooms.

[vampirebbakshi]

So if Poppy can't taste your blood bags... who else is off-limits? Am I off limits?

IF YOU'RE NOT A VAMPIRE: DON'T DRINK BLOOD.

OBVIOUSLY.

WHY DO HUMANS THINK THEY CAN DRINK RANDOM HUMAN BLOOD LIKE?? the blood I have is clean but wtf??? humans drinking blood??? it's giving Hannibal Lecter.

.... Maybe Ian can have some...

but that's an explanation for another day.

[vampirebbakshi]

Can someone tell Ian to STOP sending motivational speech thirst traps into the staff group chat otherwise I'm gonna have to get Carol involved.

[vampirebbakshi]

Good coffin brands: one in the fucking ground 😻‼️💞😩🤞🏼

How about you get some bitches instead of trying to set me up with an ex monster hunter sweetheart.

[vampirebbakshi]

If my posts sound like a roadman talking blame @abednadirsgf

They won't shut the fuck up around the office so I started mocking their British accent and I guess consequences happen.

No but seriously Dani, stop saying 'like' every 2 words you have qualifications in English Language.

[vampirebbakshi]

Dear Poppy,

I drink blood. That's my food.

I can eat normal human food. But it tastes like shit.

Stop leaving fucking jelly beans in my blood bag drawer. Please.

No, you can't taste my blood bags. Idiot.

- Brad from Monetization