vanessahcreighton-blog - Tumblr blog

[vanessahcreighton-blog]

Mahwey

          Rain poured out of the sky coloring the world in a sea of grey. The ground was so saturated it could no longer absorb the water and it began to pool under my feet. Every step I took sloshed water into my old sneakers and up the leg of my blue jeans. My overturned umbrella collected the rain like an overflowing pool for mosquitos. People rushed past me trying their hardest to avoid as much water as possible but inevitably getting soaked under their oversized umbrellas. Every spin and shower filled second felt like it washed away my life. My hair stuck to the sides of my face and my clothes began to feel like they were constricting me. I removed my jacket and felt years of weight come off with it. An icy cold finger raked its nails up my spine sending a nerve splitting shiver throughout my bones. The laugh that escaped my throat sounded more like a scream. I kicked off my soaked sneakers not caring where they landed or what they hit. My feet met the cold water on the ground and I felt like I was standing in a running current of electricity. Figures passed me unseen. The rest of the world washed away as I spun around and around with my eyes closed and my arms raised up to the universe.

           Suddenly as if a switch existed somewhere with someone waiting until they felt the world had enough to drink, the rain shut off. I felt a bone chilling breeze hit my face saying you can wake up now. I opened my eyes and looked at the brilliant chandelier that hung from the ceiling. I was laying on a cold hard floor with beautiful flecks of gold all throughout the gleaming white marble. The light shining through the giant fifteen foot windows was blindingly bright. At my feet was a giant wooden door covered in intricate carvings of creatures and beings I couldn’t recognize. It stood slightly ajar and a freezing cold breeze blew in making my snow-covered clothes feel even colder. I struggled to my feet trying not to slip in the melted snow surrounding my body. ‘How did I get here?’ I looked around assessing my surroundings. Nothing seemed familiar from the twenty foot ceilings covered in intricate artwork to the decorative wooden tables that came up to my chest. If I thought I was small before, now I felt like an ant.

           “Greetings my friend!” came a booming voice from behind me. I spun around and standing in the giant doorway was a man that must have been at least nine feet tall. Aside from his unbelievable stature something else made the cold air freeze inside my lungs. He had no eyes, instead there were deep black holes where eyes should have been and his feet didn’t touch the ground. He stood hovering about a foot off the ground.

           “D..d..do..I..kn..know you?” I said trying not to let my teeth chatter too much. I pulled my heavy coat around me tighter.

           “I’ve known you your whole life, but you’ve never been able to see me until now. Your people have many names for me. My real name is something you could never pronounce, so you can call me Mahwey.”

           “How do you know me? How come I couldn’t see you until now? Where am I?”

           “Now, slow down. The answers to all of your questions will come in time. For now, follow me and I will get you something warm to change into. You look like you are going to shiver right out of your skin.” Mahwey began to walk towards the end of the foyer where a large door as intricately carved as the entrance, waited with a secret. Too cold and numb to object, I followed Mahwey through the door. Again I lost the ability to breathe. We stood in a huge room with a domed ceiling covered in paintings. They weren’t like anything I’d ever seen before. They depicted gruesome scenes of war, suffering, and death; but there was also scenes of birth, triumph, healing, and happiness. The oddest and most striking part about it was the creatures that filled the paintings. Some of them were human, but others were beings I had never seen before. Before I could really take in and process the mere magnificence of the size and detail of the work of art, we were walking through one of the probably thirty doors that covered the walls of the domed room.

           We stepped out into a sunlit warm field that looked as if it was thriving in the middle of spring. I could hardly stand. Nothing made sense anymore and I found it hard to control the shivering that wracked my body. Mahwey turned to me and clicked his tongue as if my lack of ability to control my body dissatisfied him.

           “Come here child. Take off your clothes and lie down on this rock.” He stood hovering next to a large boulder that was perfectly smooth and was bathed in sunlight. It looked so inviting to my freezing body, but the thought of getting naked in this strange place with this man, that I wasn’t sure I could even call a man, repulsed me.

           “I c..c..can’t take off m..mm..my clothes with you here.” I said.

           “You poor child, I have seen every part of you every day of your life since birth. There is no need to be shy or scared in my presence.” He put his hand on the small of my back and gently pushed me towards the stone. “If it makes you feel better I will leave you alone while you get dry and warm.” The thought of being left alone splayed out on this giant rock in a place I can’t even understand frightens me more than anything.

           “N..NO! Don’t leave me alone!” I begin to take off my now drenched coat, all of the snow has melted, when he starts to sing. It’s a language I’ve never heard and don’t think I have the vocal ability to try to repeat, but it immediately makes my muscles start to relax. As I take off my drenched clothes I can feel the sun start to warm my skin. I climb onto the rock bearing all for anyone or anything that enters the field to see. Mahwey’s song soothes me as the warm rock melts my bones....

[vanessahcreighton-blog]

I love Stephen King books, never knew my writing resembled his though. Pretty cool.

[vanessahcreighton-blog]

In the beginning...

“Check it!” Maria screamed in a long drawn out breath.

“I can’t! I can’t!” The nurse replied nervously, “I’ve already checked too many times. Your hips aren’t spread enough and your cervix isn’t dilating. She’s going to suffocate!”

“Oh God! Please God Please!” Maria screamed between contractions. A woman rushes into the room after hearing the commotion. She sees all of the frightened nurses and hurries to Maria’s side. She gently lays her hands on Maria’s stomach and prays silently to God.

“Oh!” Maria exclaims in surprise. Then she lets out a blood curdling scream. “She’s coming! Check!”

“I can’t, not yet,” the nurse replies frantically.

“Where’s the doctor?” another nurse asks.

“I don’t care!” Maria yells at the nurses. She looks directly into the nurse’s eyes at her feet and demands that she checks on more time. The nurse, in a panic at this point, inserts her fingers and exclaims, “Get her up! Get her up!” The other nurses quickly surround Maria.

“Now Maria you have to stand up,” one of the nurses tells her as he grabs her arm. Maria just looks at the nurse and screams in agony. Two male nurses help her stand. She squats down with one of the nurses supporting her from behind. Just as Maria begins to push, the doctor rushes in with just enough time to catch me. I was born seven pounds seven ounces, on March 7th, in a dirty hospital in Jamaica. I was a little miracle baby according to the nurses. They tried to take me from the delivery room to run tests and check my health, but Maria refused to let me go.

“In this shitty hospital anyone could walk in and take her. You can run tests with her in my arms,” she protectively told them. She looked like a wolf protecting her cub. Her eyes were filled with a mix of insanity and unconditional love.

A few weeks after she was discharged from the hospital, she was able to get out of the house alone. She walked down to the market for some fresh fruit and vegetables and an old black Jamaican man stopped her.

“Oh baby mama there is a black cloud over you. It’s been followin’ you and all the women in your family before you. Oh but you just had a baby girl, and she is a profit. The black cloud don’t touch her. Protect that baby girl. Protect her ‘cause one day she will lead millions.” When he finished he didn’t give Maria time to respond before he walked away and disappeared into the crowd. She was baffled. She had never seen that man before, and she didn’t have me with her. From that day on she drilled that prophecy into my brain as if God himself told her it was true.

This is the story of my birth. It is quite possible that it is mostly a lie.

To be continued...

[vanessahcreighton-blog]

It sucks being the one that falls in love on the first day, only to have to keep it a secret until they say I love you first."

Vanessa H Creighton

[vanessahcreighton-blog]

5 Reasons to STOP Obsessing Over Your Weight

If you eat McDonald’s every day and never cook a healthy meal, I can understand making a lifestyle change, and if working out is your only means of stress relief by all means don’t stop. If your weight is getting out of hand and you know you are at risk for diabetes or heart problems, you may need a life style adjustment. This post is for the men and women like me who started obsessing over their weight for the pure reason of making someone else happy.

1. The scale lies. Whether you are 5’ 5” and 154 pounds or 120 pounds, the actual number on the scale doesn’t mean anything. Muscle weighs more than fat and most of the time a true athlete will fall under the obese category on the BMI scale because their muscle weight is the same as someone else’s fat weight. I weighed 154 pounds and had thick thighs and a large rear end, but it was mostly muscle. I had a male friend who was much bigger than me and four inches taller than me that weighed the same. This in no way meant I was obese, it meant he had less muscle. So stop looking at the scale.

2. If you have curves and your stomach isn’t perfectly flat or your thighs are thick, most men like that. Some women like a man who isn’t necessarily rock hard either. It is definitely a lot nicer when you are cuddling in bed to have something soft to hold. What matters is how you look at yourself. If you love the way you have little love handles and a nice sized rear end then why does anyone else’s opinion matter? Someone will love you the way you are no matter how much you weigh.

3. If you have always been on the heavier side and you have always been a little bigger than your friends, then you may just be built that way. Some people are just naturally bigger. I know some people who are on the heavier side that are gorgeous and frankly if they lost all of the weight I think they would lose their IT factor.

4. Life is short. If you want to eat a cookie with a glass of milk for dessert why stop yourself? We don’t live very long in the grand scheme of things and there are so many amazing foods out there to eat. I’m not saying gorge yourself or binge eat junk food for a few days, but stop denying yourself a treat every now and then. Your body actually needs some sugar to be healthy.

5. All of the crazy diets and different extreme exercise regimens you are trying throughout the year may be bad for your health in the long run. You could be permanently damaging your joints or depriving your body of certain nutrients you need to be healthy.  

From experience the way that I have found to feel the most energized and satisfied is to eat normally. Cook all of your meals, but cook enough for one satisfying serving. Don’t go back for seconds. Make sure you have all of the nutrients in your diet during the day including iron, carbs, vegetables, natural sugars, etc. Just don’t overload on one thing. Also, get out of the house. Take the kids to the park, but don’t sit on the bench and watch them. Get up and play with them. Run around, go for a walk, or do something to connect with the outdoors. If everyone would just do these things, they wouldn’t need to binge diet or do P90X to feel in shape. Embrace your curves if you have them, and if you are naturally thin stop trying to gain weight. Eat normally and be thankful for your high metabolism.