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Summer is over. Work starts tomorrow and I’m dreading the conversations that will take place.

How was your summer? What did you do?

And while everyone will talk about what they did with their significant other, I’ll have to sit there and think of what to say. Telling everyone how I somehow became my own enemy again when I was SO confident that would never happen again just seems kind of odd.

Everyone knows me as the “strong” one. The one that goes to the gym before work and never complains about sore muscles. What they do not know is how there’s a war in my mind all the time. Fighting over what I can and cannot eat, over what extra exercises I could do in a day when I’ve had a bad workout. It all seems too complicated to be open about.

So what will I tell them? “Oh, you know, the usual. Working out, going for walks, nothing special.”

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𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗌 𝗎 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝖺𝗒 ♡

𝗏𝗂𝖺: 𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗁𝗂𝗅𝗅_𝗓𝗈𝗈

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where's that picture that ruined my life

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So proud of my maps from this past week. I'm testing the hypothesis.... I'm noticing patterns! Plus plus this week is cph pride week and I'm volunteering every day, so it is only natural I fall in love

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I tried to make peace with my loneliness

Yet my feelings have become a chaotic mess

“Oh she? She’s not worthy of love” is what they said

Their prophecy definitely has been met

And no one hears me scream or cry at night

Fighting my own demons until its light

But who would love a broken girl anyway?

It’s in my lonely bubble I was meant to stay

Yet I try to become a better version of me

Change my looks, try to become skinny

Because that’s what it is all about in todays society

Yet the internet yells to accept my flaws, oh the irony

When the internet is the reason behind my insecurities and anxiety

“Men won’t love you with that body and face”

So it’s what makes me unlovable I should embrace?

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i love halsey because she'll write lyrics like "a girl like that is a mother, must be tough/ a problem child, i was rough/ but what do you do with a difficult grown up?" and then in another song she'll rhyme "michigan" with "bitch again"

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I am 26 now. Which makes you think I would have made it in life.

Yet here I am in my childhood bedroom typing away on my phone screen to get every possible thought out of me. Yes I still live at home, the housing crisis makes it impossible as a single person to even get as much as a shoebox to live in.

Little me would have hoped to have her life complete at this point in life: a husband, children, her own cats. Yet I open Facebook and see my childhood bullies getting exactly that what I have always wanted and dreamed of.

I often wonder where I went wrong. Was it in my choice of university? Was it in the choice to leave my ex, the only man who ever showed interest in me but who could never keep is hateful hands off of me? I am trying to get myself to find hope again, the hope start start living instead of surviving. There must be more to life than this.

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Martin Johnson Heade 

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Now that you are back, can I remind you to update your FAQ🥰

Oh wow thank you so much! I’ll have to figure out how to do so. It’s been a while

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YOU ARE BACK! WELCOME BACK

I AM! Thank you so much 🩷

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So long, London 🤍

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emilie.hofferber

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norwegian_remi

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My sweet little baby, I miss you so so much. My greatest love and most painful loss✨🤍

Sweet little baby✨