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"kerejeandreil" this is the greed they speak about in the bible.

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(touching your open wound) damn you’re so wet

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This part-

They ruined me forever

I still haven't finished the third book but I needed to draw that scene

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thinking a lot about kevin “doomed by the narrative” day. absolutely charming and perfect to others until he’s actually known, deeply insecure from the weight of his own impossible standards, whose interests no one really shares, and whose alcoholism is there for him like nothing else really is. whose life was hijacked by the moriyamas. whose andrew was stolen by neil and whose jean was won over by jeremy. always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

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Clarice Lispector, from a letter to Fernando Sabino featured in Why This World: A Biography of Clarice Lispector

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i need a fanfic about the entire year andrew and neil spent sharing a loft because of robin

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The Handmaiden (2016) dir. Park Chan-wook

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i like you for saying this. it is very much Ronan indeed

thank you 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ i see you are also enlightened… freak to freak communication

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Dreaming of home

(Find me on Instagram)

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i was thinking about andreil jealousy fics, and after reading a few, i’ve come to the conclusion that:

i don’t really think neil would get jealous over andrew. like, if someone flirted with andrew, he probably wouldn’t even notice — because, well, neil. but if the flirting was obvious enough, neil would just become more alert in that quiet, protective way of his. not because he thinks andrew can’t handle himself, but because andrew doesn’t fit into that deliberate conventionalism people throw around. andrew isn’t fragile, but people can be really assholes without realizing it, and andrew’s reactions are unpredictable and deeply shaped by his hard lines. i think the whole thing would last like two seconds: neil would freeze up, almost fight-or-flight, just assessing whether he needs to step in. then andrew would say something like “not interested” and the night would move on like nothing ever happened.

now, the other way around…

any and all flirting aimed at neil would just go straight over his head. almost comically so. andrew might stick around a second or two longer than he’d usually tolerate any unnecessary interaction, just for his daily little dose of amusement — which is neil rejecting people without even realizing. neil’s not stupid, he’s just… really do not swing. his world revolves around the upperclassmen, exy, and andrew. and occasionally math. he’d get hit on with a complete poker face, just staring at the person like he’s trying to make the sentence make sense, until they get uncomfortable enough to either change the subject or walk away entirely. if someone were very direct, he’d just be uncomfortable and finish them with the classic “I don’t swing” and go about his day.

they’re both almost kind of alien to that petty, everyday version of jealousy you see in “normal” relationships — which is honestly fascinating and melting my brain. but i do believe in the almost.

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rest in peace Jesse Dittley

oh jesse that was diabolical

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viktor nation how are we feeling

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I still cackle every time I remember that even after finding out that Carmilla was the vampire who was killing the young girls in the area and sucking the life out of her, when Laura gets back home she still looks for Carmilla all over the house and gets sad when she doesn't find her.

No because I kept thinking how Laura from start to end was all ''and now we interrupt this narrative for a word from our sponsor: me talking about how hot Carmilla's face and eyes and figure and hair and arms and touch and lips and voice and kisses were in general or on a specific moment while gazing into each other's eyes in each other's arms. and now back to your regularly scheduled content."

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sometimes i remember andrew was the first goalie to score a goal across the field like it was just a day, and i wonder if neil ever randomly remembers that and gets hard. because even i do, and i don’t even have a dick. like, can you imagine. can you imagine.

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going to bed very sad after searching and not finding a fic where andrew is on top of neil after california — quiet dorm, quiet kisses — and andrew says,

"you killed him," about jean’s abuser.

and neil answers, "i would have done the same for you."

and andrew just mutters, "martyr," while neil turns his head to kisses his biceps, slow and lingering, tired of everything — from the day, the new foxes, the weight of recent events, missing him.

they don't hook up that night.

they do, the next one — hot and hurried — on the rooftop after night practice.

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fall asleep to the sound of your old rotating fan

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