velociraptorawareness-blog

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

This Just In: Velociraptor Hatchlings will befriend mammals if a soft rendition of Simon and Garfunkel is playing in the area. Careful though, if the hatchling engrosses itself too deeply into the music, it may be subject to velo-insanity, and scream uncontrollably like an extremely drunk sorority girl trying to sing 'Don't Stop Believing' on karaoke night.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

In the light of today being mother's day, all persons are advised to keep away from forested areas. Velociraptors also take part in common mother's day rituals, and will simultaneously return to the nest with their other hatchlings. The mother raptor will hear of all the terrible triumphs her brood has achieved, and play the ceremonial banjo. If you hear the banjo of velociraptor mothers, evacuate the area within a 5 mile radius; you don't want to be around when the ceremonial mother's day manhunt begins! Be aware. Be prepared. Be safe.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

A recent discovery has revealed that velociraptors are now capable of playing vidya. If any harassment in online matchmaking results in violent threats, such as, "fight me irl faggot", are stated by a player who sounds like they're under the age of 14, DO NOT ADDRESS THEM. It is a trick the raptors have developed to catch prey easily and they will trace you with their leet hacking skills! Be aware. Be prepared. Be safe.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

The band room is the only safe haven from the raptors. The squeaky notes of the oboe will keep them far away. Though how safe you will be from said oboe I cannot say.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Have you ever lost a sock in the dryer? That’s the velociraptors taking your clothing for your scent. They will then track you down and eat you. Relocation to Mexico and fake mustaches are encouraged.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Have you ever lost a sock in the dryer? That's the velociraptors taking your clothing for your scent. They will then track you down and eat you. Relocation to Mexico and fake mustaches are encouraged.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

The band room is the only safe haven from the raptors. The squeaky notes of the oboe will keep them far away. Though how safe you will be from said oboe I cannot say.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Jesus raptor has risen

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Only the strongest marker catchers will survive the raptors. Are you prepared? Send us the highest number of times you've caught a marker in a row and we will assess your strength against the raptors.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Raptors endorse many horrible things: basic white girls, small children, the cancelation of firefly, but they do not endorse 'slut' shaming or rape culture. This has been a public announcement.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Raptors are more prone to eat the basic white girl. They love the tastes of ugs in the morning. And they need to get their Starbucks somehow. You've been warned.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

If one is to successfully avoid raptors, one must never play any music that even resembles country music, even if the majestic voice of Hunter Hayes and hauntingly realistic words of Tim McGraw tempt you otherwise.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa is actually based off of the image of an aristocratic raptor, but Da Vinci's severe case of Olive Dementia caused him to severely distort the image.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

The only thing standing between you and a raptor in a face-to-face confrontation is a bowler hat. Carry one wherever you go for protection. Egg beaters may also offer assistance.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Raptors+Chocolate=Renewable Energies

Advocate to bring this algorithm into school systems worldwide. It can save lives

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Today is 4/20. Velociraptors like the flavored of those who are high. Do drugs get eaten. This has been a public service.

[velociraptorawareness-blog]

Happy Easter!

Today when asked about Jesus a 3 year old child stated "Dinosaurs stole the boulder from the front of Jesus' tomb" I think we all know it was velociraptors. Happy Velociraptor Easter!