venlafaxinehcl

[venlafaxinehcl]

this is so funny to me lmao

would g'raha tia from final fantasy xiv pay child support?

[venlafaxinehcl]

Actual tears in my eyes

[venlafaxinehcl]

I love this damn catboy so much guys

[venlafaxinehcl]

when being Vivi doesn't suck

[venlafaxinehcl]

my car? it's stop motion. yeah the engine doesn't actually produce any power on its own. I have a time wizard who's always stopping time, moving my car just a little bit, and then unpausing time. it's okay he loves it, when you're that deep in time magic it's kinda the only thing that brings you joy anymore and he's completely forogtten how to exist as a human being in society

[venlafaxinehcl]

okay so for this piece i really leaned on aristophanes' speech from plato's symposium. humans were once whole beings, sundered by the gods for their hubris, doomed to wander the earth for the rest of their lives searching for their other half. the parallels between the myth and what we learn about the ascians are very interesting. if you're interested in hearing the myth:

ok on to the poem

suture

the rhythm of your breath lingers in my chest not quite memory but muscle

soft grass beneath our backs the weight of time pressing down on a spine once whole

we were split in fury wounds pulled 'round us a reminder of our hubris

and still my veins hum with your echo my bones ache with old names carried across oleander fields streambeds where we knelt as one

[venlafaxinehcl]

im gods favorite open wound

[venlafaxinehcl]

Do you think G'raha had an adjustment period of "initial reaction vs. experience"

[venlafaxinehcl]

this is my blog and i can yap about bts if i want to. idk why but i took like a hiatus from listening to them for a while. i think it's because i got really into horsegiirl. whatever. anyways, i almost forgot how well black swan describes what it's like to be scared of hating what you love doing, what you were born to do. like i'm a million years old. i've been writing forever, and there was a YEARS long drought where the idea of even picking up a pen made me feel nauseous. like i went to college for poetry. i hated it. i hated writing. and then i got into bts and something clicked in my head. and then i heard black swan and just POINTING. POINTING AT THE SONG. SLAMMING THE TABLE. THIS IS IT. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.

[venlafaxinehcl]

what i like about this most is the way it was written. the short lines, some having only one word really conveys the sense of anxiety. the stilted words, hesitation almost. ;-; so good

trembling, anxious heart

the last one for tonight. brought to you again by anxieties. about anxiety, and vulnerability, and also how - sometimes there's no "true self".

--

forgive me,

love,

for i am so

often

terrified--

you,

my beloved--

deserve better than

this trembling mess

who loves

so deeply

but knows not how

to believe it safe

to show my soft

underbelly, expose

my weakness

forgive me, love

mind not

how eager i am

to hide in

your gentle embrace--

patience is a

virtue,

or so i'm told,

and you always

have been virtuous

you are

like a saint

to me--

though i may

be the divine,

tis you

love

who gives shelter

to the fragile

trembling creature

that i am

at my deepest

quietest core

(our masks

are known, but you

know the truth of

me:

there is

no maskless self--

only

a hollow

where should the

true self life

you are safe

i know

for you merely

looked, and said

you did not

mind

my hollowness

said you'll love

me all the same.)

[venlafaxinehcl]

i love both of them because they fit together so well. the want to love someone in their entirety and seek reciprocity. wanting to let the other shine and bask in their glow. they can take turns being tiny suns

ah, the god, it yearns

this poem is directly brought to you by my Anxieties and being the world's most anxious rabbit, and also by a lot of yearning. going under the cut for anxiety reasons.

anyways. sae'pheli'ehva is alike to g'raha in that he wants to be as much as only a footnote in g'raha's narrative, and is incredibly in grateful for and awestruck over being a much larger part of g'raha's life than that. just as g'raha has those emotions about sae'pheli'ehva. your honor they are parallels and perpendicular and foils.

--

I think--

I want to

bite you

and then I think--

I want

to kiss you

and then--

I want to hold

your heart within

my ribcage

and then--

I want to never

forget the warmth

of your hands in mine

and then--

I want you to

love me,

all of me,

and then--

I want whatever

company you'll give

and whatever

affection you'll spare

forgive me

my yearning

I do not know

how to live

without you by

my side

[venlafaxinehcl]

one of my favorite things about your writing is the way you manage to make abstract themes feel so visceral and real.

also?? "to know you in the language it once spoke"

untitled 2 / teeth

(another one inspired by @venlafaxinehcl , the poem in question this time being this one. this poem is about wanting to bite g'raha, the duality of mortal and divine, and also the vulnerability of confessing your desires to another. i couldn't decide if i wanted to title this one or not so you get a title and a not-title)

--

your throat

freckled

like black stars

on pale porcelain

marked

by vivid ink

flutters

as you laugh

it draws my

gaze, and

my thoughts

are ever ravenous

I wonder how

easily my teeth

could break through your

skin, taste whether

your blood is iron and

sweet, taste

the skin and learn

if you taste sweet

like your lips

you ask

what brings me to

think so deeply

i smile

and say only

that I am thinking

of you

and do not say

how I dream of

my heart in your

hands, and your blood

on my tongue and

teeth

(I would not like

to bite so deep,

but

oh--

that in me which

is divine

is monstrous

wants to taste;

not to kill,

nor devour,

but wishes only

to know you

in the language it

once spoke

and I am so

very curious

of what vulnerability

you would gift

to me.)

[venlafaxinehcl]

OKAY WEAVING LITTLE SHINIES INTO HIS HAIR??? also this piece in juxtaposition with your short fic "Interlaced" going from slightly hesitant to fully owning the act. so sweet aaaaaaaaaa

woven braid

(inspired by this poem by @venlafaxinehcl because i have spent a totally normal amount of time thinking about braiding g'raha's hair i promise. totally normal amount of time)

--

soft

strands run

through my fingers

like silk being

woven, like

water rushing

through the gaps

I hold carefully

gentle

careful not to

pull

as I weave

your hair into

the most beautiful

braid, for you

tis simple

and loose

but you look

at me, and

smile, say that

you are thankful

and so I

smile, to mirror

your joy

and the little

trinkets I have

woven in, beads

of gold and

crystal,

catch the light

and you

are made all

the more beautiful

like a dream

come to life

[venlafaxinehcl]

i accidentally posted this on my main poetry blog but my point still stands: this is so goofy

oh my god i'm going through my writing from when i was like 12 why the fuck was i so melodramatic this is so funny

tw: slight suicidal ideation under the cut

"i grabbed the bottle of aleve liquid gels and poured a couple onto my hand. i rolled them around, taking in the calm shade of blue. isolating one, i poured the rest into the bottle.

not today, i told myself."

GIRL U CAN'T OVERDOSE ON ALEVE I'M SCREAMING DKLGFREKHJLHGDKLFH

but also how did they not realize something was wrong with me for so long like LMAOOO

[venlafaxinehcl]

✨The boys are fighting✨

God I love them both - both performances. I wish we could have seen more back and forth between them.

Would have loved to have seen Raha get under Hades skin too, I know he has it in him.

[venlafaxinehcl]

a moodboard of some type. for me.

[venlafaxinehcl]

I got some real sappy shit cooking in my brain rn so look forward to that in the future