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finally finished this one!

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(ㅠ︿ㅠ)

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healer x auror ?

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artist: mandarina_art

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Harry is running. In his dreams, he’s running so fast that he’s nearly falling with each step forward, his momentum like a wrecking ball swinging towards Draco. He’s stretching his fingers towards Draco, he’s begging Draco. He’s dreaming of Draco, and Draco is looking back at him, that wry smile on his lips. His cheekbones are carved, so delicate that Harry touches them with a sort of reverence reserved for the gods. Draco is looking back at him. They’re by the cliffside, admiring the broad strokes of chalk limestone, bone-white even beneath a sunless sky. Draco’s stretching his hand back at Harry, a question held in his mouth like a gold coin. “Do you love me?” “That’s not how it’s supposed to go. Confessions, I mean.” “Who said it's a confession?” Draco is smug. Harry wants to shove him off the cliffs, but he refrains, because Harry is well-bred and well-mannered, unlike the Malfoy boy heir. But wildly, at the same time, Harry wants to pull Draco in; he wants to grip that prim collar of Draco's and twist it so that the fabric is permanently ruined, unable to stand upright on its own. He wants to kiss Draco silly. It’s a greedy thought. A pleasant one. So Harry gives in. Draco kisses him back, and like a tired cliché, the sun fractures through cloud cover, throwing the sea in glimmering shades of sky, as bright as jewels spread across the sand. Afterwards, Draco pretends to look affronted. He wipes his mouth and sulks at Harry all afternoon, because Harry refuses to answer his question. “Well, do you love me or not?” Draco asks as they board the muggle bus back to Wiltshire, his blond hair flying in the wind, strands sticking to his forehead as he turns to Harry. “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Harry replies. He darts away from a well-aimed kick to his shins. On the ride back, Draco falls asleep on Harry’s shoulder, and dusk falls like a curtain, sweeping over the burnished fields that roll endlessly into the distance. The dirt road rumbles below them, and Harry is not in love, he is not in love, he is not in love.

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Happy together

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“Growing Around Grief”

Lois Tonkin, 1996

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hectic times lately

lots going on in the phd. one of the papers I've poured my heart and soul into just got accepted (and nominated for best paper award...), which has been incredible. I was also invited to a Swiss university in Zurich to do a 3 month visiting research scholarship this summer - also very much excited about it. beyond that, I feel a little scattered and anxious. there's a lot going on (america is going through what some would call an extremely rough patch) and it's directly impacting academia, including my grants/universities. on top of that, I'm worried about my research, whether or not my work will continue to be high-quality this year since I took on a lot, how I'm going to deal with studying abroad (again!) for the summer because my partner and I will be apart, plus the logistics, plus the financial struggles as a student. my partner is starting a big internship (aah!) and will be super busy too in general, there are many life things and accomplishments to be positive about, but there is an undercurrent of stress and fear of the uncertainty that is to come. I read a quote somewhere that said the only constant is crisis, and somehow, that seems more relevant than ever

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tutoring sesh

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happy valentine’s day from ron and hermione

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I loved writing this fic while listening to the music and piano that were woven into the story. please enjoy listening along too! each song in the playlist is in order of appearance and featured in the keys you keep. I've had this playlist created for ages but totally forgot to upload it...oops bonus author note: I competed & played classical piano for over a decade before I quit attending lessons. I was a terrible student as a child - as in I hated practicing, hated doing my Hanon, hated Sunday class overall. But I was also a fantastically dramatic pianist and won awards for my dynamics and flair lol. I remember one recital where I forgot the next phrase in the middle of the piece I was performing - so I MADE UP and improvised on the spot to fill in the piece, then reconnected it back to what I remembered and finished and bowed and no one except my exhausted and weary piano teacher noticed. Anyway, after I finished high school and music theory courses, I began to play improvisations of my own instead of memorizing pieces. These days, I have exactly 0 piano pieces memorized. I just fuck around on the piano and make nice little sounds. maybe one day I'll share some of my compositions :)

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My friend showed me the Harry Potter movies so ofc I had to redesign Harry and Draco. I’m 2 decades late to the drarry party but I’m here now!!

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My illustration for a Lalaland AU Drarry fanfic.

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Monthly Drarry post but make it angsty✨

artist: @noreamea

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62510866

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hey, i‘m just re-reading staring at the sky (and just saw you just finished another long-form fic! ahh!) and i‘m just curious how you write these intricate, organised stories. reading your writing, it all feels like it comes together so well and elegantly. do you use outlines and take a while to piece all the elements and ideas together or do you write down whatever feels right and go with that?

Aww, thank you, I'm glad my longfics comes across as organised hahaha. I do a few things to help, but I actually am quite free form with planning. I don't like outlining - it's all broad brushstrokes until I get deeper into the story. However, some of the major techniques I keep in mind are: 1) character arcs are planned from day 1. before I even start writing the fic, I have in mind what changes the character will undergo. this includes what flaws they start with, how they adapt (whether for better or for worse), and what deeply motivates them and their choices. I find this technique drives plot extremely well. If I have the character fleshed out from the beginning, everything they do makes sense as the stakes rise. at the end, they must complete their arc. 2) I use google docs to write, and I use section links to jump from section to section (terrible, I know, imagine 500 pages of straight text). I leave comments throughout the doc reminding myself of critical tiny details/foreshadowing. my comments evolve as the story changes as well - I have a big picture plot in mind, but the subtle side plots emerge naturally. I also pace myself by leaving a sentence or two about goals in upcoming chapters 3) sometimes, I go backwards and look for details that I've already written, and then I weave those into the plot as I write. I breadcrumb myself by weaving in lots of dual-usage details that could potentially be used in the plot, but the reader would not be able to tell until later (and its not an issue if I don't use the detail)! this is one of my favorite things to do. however, I am still careful to avoid unnecessary details; even if these details are NOT used later, they still must serve some other critical purpose in the passage. 4) similar to character arcs, I have big themes in mind while I write. as a result, the plot is shaped by these themes. things that happen in the story should a) reflect character development and b) the themes I am trying to communicate and explore with the reader 5) I spend a lot of time thinking/problem-solving for my fic...haha. I will write things that I know will be a problem for myself later, but that's for future me to deal with. I will get stuck on some chapters because I've written myself into a corner. lots of creativity and finagling is required for that late stage stuff. for example, I couldn't pin down the antagonist's primary motivations in the keys you keep until the end, so I had to reread my previous chapters over and over until I found a solution that made sense. -

thanks for asking such a fun question! I've always wanted to document a bit about my process, so ty for giving me the opportunity to do so!

tl;dr - I focus on characters > plot. themes > plot. I then problem-solve my way through the plot, just like the characters in my stories do :)

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Don't let go

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OMG...is that an epilogue

hello friends, the epilogue to the keys you keep has been added. nice and happy and warm, for your viewing pleasure~