villainouspeachpie - Tumblr blog

[villainouspeachpie]

19 minutes…

Alright everyone, any last minute predictions? I’m assuming extra lore, or another book announcement, like a comic or something.

[villainouspeachpie]

It’s always you

Their smile …Their smile baffled the villain. How could one so lovely and pure of heart smirk at someone so despicable? Supervillain told them to stay away. They saw the way the villain, even though their expression was steeled, always brightened up at the mention of their name. Supervillain still wasn’t sure how. Perhaps it was the slight bounce in their step, or the way their stern posture drooped just a bit. It was there, nonetheless.

Villain tried to ignore the way their heart pumped a little louder in their ears when their voice rung out…Lord, and they were so kind to them…And tried to find alternatives to spouting out their feelings. They joined a book club, was hired as a part time at their local library, (Their weekdays were reserved for villainy. Old habits die hard.) and even went out on a date with the lad who “accidentally” ordered two matcha teas for themself.

Though it went just as they expected, of course. Everything does. It always does. They bothered villain, to put it lightly. They complained about their job the whole date. Villain sighed. They weren’t the biggest fan of matcha anyhow. Their dreams that night fully involved the hero again, and the hope of a slightly better date with them.

[villainouspeachpie]

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

[villainouspeachpie]

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[villainouspeachpie]

Hey, just trying to advertise my webcomic. I probably won’t post much about it here, but wanted to get it out there. It’s got a sapphic hero x villain relationship, basically every character is lgbtq+, and I update every weekend. Check it out, if you’re interested!

[villainouspeachpie]

Super cute. Love it!

“You’ve seriously never thought about us kissing?” The superhero crooked an eyebrow. “We’ve been marinating in sexual tension for three years now.”

prompt by @gingerly-writing :> <333

—

“You’ve seriously never thought about us kissing?” The superhero crooked an eyebrow. “We’ve been marinating in sexual tension for three years now.”

The villain choked. Went to hide their blushing face.

When they cracked two fingers apart to peak, the superhero was still staring at them through their cell's reinforced bars.

"No," they said. "You're a bit too terrifying."

That was not entirely true. The superhero was terrifying, yes. Loved by the masses. Feared by the criminal underbelly of the city. But the villain was enamoured, hopelessly, by that. The contrast between their charming, friendly persona that was reserved for the masses and their true cold, calculating demeanor left the villain hopelessly pining after them. They were incredible, truly. Perfection.

They ran their hands down their heated face and looked up.

The superhero's perfect face stared down at them. The villain looked down at their crossed legs instead. "I thought you were just toying," they mumbled. "With the flirting."

Silence, again. The villain glanced up at the superhero through their lashes.

The superhero tilted their head, observing. The villain pressed their lips into a hard line and crossed their arms, hunching their shoulders.

The superhero crouched down to meet their level. The villain tucked their chin in and leaned back, refusing to make eye contact. They heard the rustle of the superhero's gloves slipping off of their fingers. They dropped to the floor, right in front of the bars. The villain could've reached with their fingers through the bars and taken them.

"It doesn't change my offer," said the superhero. "I get you out of this cell in exchange for a kiss."

Had it not been for their dark skin, the villain was sure they would've lit up red. But they couldn't accept the offer, surely. They imagined even a brush of their fingers would leave the villain dizzy and swaying on their feet. They recalled, once, they'd thrown a stun bomb at the superhero and had them incapacitated for almost ten minutes. The superhero had risen up, suit torn because they had it remade every day because it was not completely reinforced so that the public could get glimpses of their skin (and that always, always left the villain faint).

They'd had them up against the wall, smiled down, body radiating heat, and said, "well, aren't you incredible?"

The villain's knees had turned to jelly immediately.

"I can get out of here on my own," they mumbled, biting their tongue right after they spoke so their brain wouldn't conjure up more memories.

"Is that so?" The superhero mocked a curious tone. "A little birdie told me you've bruised your whole body trying to break these bars."

The villain winced. They looked fully up at the superhero, then, and saw they had their cheek resting on their fist. Their eyes were lazily hooded. Their other hand rose to trail fingers down their own neck, to the side of their collarbone.

The villain's hand rose, automatically, to their own collarbone, to the bruise there that was exposed by the loose neckline of their shirt. They pulled it close. Their cheeks flushed for a different reason, then. They hated this cell and the way it suppressed their powers. It felt like one of their limbs had been cut off. They hated the Scientist—the villain that had trapped them here—for finding a way to suppress their powers even more.

They straightened their back. "Liar. This cell's shut down my powers. Maybe it's done that to you, too." They glanced back at the number of fortified doors the superhero had sauntered through when they first entered. They could've broken through those doors with ease.

Once more, the superhero crooked an eyebrow. They lifted their cheek from their fist and closed their fingers around one of the steel bars. The villain watched as it corroded beneath their skin.

They blinked. "Oh."

The superhero spread their hand in a voila gesture, raising both brows. "Oh."

Dumbly, the villain pursed their lips. They seriously considered the offer, then. Glanced at the superhero's lips. Thought of how it would feel to have their lips pressed against the villain's.

Their lips buzzed with sensation. Oh, they felt dizzy right then.

"I'm not an idiot, in case you weren't paying attention," said the superhero. They tilted their head and raked their eyes down the villain. "I can hear your heart thumping like a bunny on caffeine. I always have."

The villain squeaked and put a hand over their heart, as if that would do any good. "You—you make me nervous."

The superhero smiled, then, all sly. "I know I do."

The villain's flush heightened, impossibly so. They didn't even know they could get this flustered. "This is unfair. You knew."

"I'm a very unfair person."

"I'm bad."

The superhero shrugged. "I'm terrible."

The villain clenched their fist. Everything felt very, very hot.

The superhero leaned in. They caught the villain's chin through the bars, bare, callused fingers rough and warm on their skin. "You're good," they said. "You're very good. You're exceptional, able to outsmart even me, and you just keep your talents on the down low so no one snipes you."

Again, the villain pursed their lips into a line. Wobbly. Burning with the phantom sensation of the superhero's lips on their's. They had nothing, then, just the heat curling all around their body. Fingers going shaky. "You'll take me out."

"Mm." The superhero tilted the villan's chin as much as the bars allowed them. Ran their fingers around the underside of their jaw. Skated up to touch one burning cheek. They smiled again. "To dinner. Or lunch. Or a nice little rooftop if you kiss me." They scraped their thumb along the curve of their bottom lip.

The villain's lips parted automatically. They took in a quivering, nervous breath. "You'll get me out."

"Of course."

"How long have you liked me back?"

One corner of the superhero's mouth curled up. It wasn't a camera-ready smile. It wasn't sly. It looked a little evil. It made the villain's heart flip hopelessly. "I might let you know if you kiss me."

The villain clutched the bars and leaned close. The steel brushed cold against their cheeks. They had to know. Was it since they first drew the superhero's blood? Or from that time one of their inventions sent the superhero flying through ten walls? Or one of the times when they had them blushing, pressed flush to a wall?

The superhero chuckled to themselves, tipped the villain's chin up just a little, and kissed them.

The villain sighed and pulled them close and the superhero pulled them closer. Their hands sneaked beneath their shirt and ran over their back, their sides, teased the edges of their waistband. It stung just a little bit from the bruises, but the heat the superhero's hands left in their wake left them too brainless to think of anything else but them.

The superhero leaned back first. The villain would've followed their lips mindlessly if it hadn't been for the bars. But instead they stayed there, breathless, lips buzzing intensely, cheeks still pressed to the steel bars. They tapped the corroded edge of the bar the superhero had touched.

The superhero ran their hands around the bars in a huge circle, and they snapped right off. The villain barely had time to get to their feet before the superhero had scooped them up into another kiss. This one was hungrier, eager for a taste, and the villain had to tiptoe to properly kiss them. They leaned back for air.

"Since the stun bomb," said the superhero. "I've wanted a smart, pretty thing like you since."

"O—oh." The villain wasn't sure how to respond to that, properly. They were already afraid they'd been misjudged on the smart part. They thought the superhero had maybe kissed them dumb. But they found that they didn't need to respond, because the superhero was kissing them again.

They walked out hand in hand. The superhero left them on a nice little rooftop, cheeks burning, lips still burning and maybe a little swollen.

The villain touched a hand to their cheek, feeling the heat there.

Oh, they were head over heels.

[villainouspeachpie]

Pillow fight

It was the dead of night, and Hero was getting ready for bed after a long day at work. They filled up a water bottle from the fridge and walked into their bedroom. They placed the bottle on their nightstand, slipped off their bunny slippers, stretched, and finally climbed into bed. Just as they slipped on their eye mask, their phone rang.

Hero sighed, but checked their phone anyway. Surprise, surprise, it was Superhero with a new mission for them. Something about Villain committing a new crime. Great. Hero was almost tempted to ask Superhero to do it themself, but finally walked to the address.

It couldn’t be right. It didn’t make sense. The address had to be wrong. Why would Villain, a criminal mastermind with a full crew of henchmen and a knack for stealing priceless artifacts, want anything from the local mattress shop?

The lights were on, but the door was unguarded. They opened the door as quietly as they could, but when the bell on the door rang, all eyes were immediately on them. However, the only thing hero could stare at was the large pile of mattresses in the middle of the room.

On top of the pile, was their arch nemesis, who only looked down from being hand fed grapes when their henchmen started to go speechless. There were mattresses placed like stairs, slightly lowered each pile. Villain slowly made their way down to Hero, their cape dragging along behind them.

“Wow, even a princess couldn’t feel a pea from a mattress pile that high.” Hero joked. Villain threw a pillow at their face, but Hero caught it and tapped them lightly on the shoulder with it. Villain faltered for a moment. Villain had just messed up a throw in front of their entire empire. They shook it off with a smirk. “Hm. Hey, Right Hand? Remember how you spilled coffee on my lap earlier?” Right Hand nodded hesitantly. “Well you’re on Hero’s team. Henchmen 1, 2, and 3? You too. Might as well make it a fair pillow fight.” Great. Now Hero wasn’t going to get a second of sleep tonight. At least they would get to destroy Villain’s ego, at least for a day.

[villainouspeachpie]

It was only a cold. A very minor one. However, it was clear that Hero didn’t see it that way. All they had to do was sneeze a single time, and the villain’s “heroic savior” came to their aid.

“Hero, it was just a sneeze, I’m fine.” Villain scoffed. Luckily for Villain, there was no one around to see Hero cradling them on the sidewalk.

“Do you need soup? What’s your favorite? I’ll get you some blankets- I have this really soft one on my couch, you’ll love it.” Villain knew hero was only trying to help, but did they have to be so annoying about it?

[villainouspeachpie]

Fruit pancakes 🥞

Hero: Can I have the fruit pancakes please?

Villain: The what? There's nothing on the menu called "fruit pancakes".

Hero: Th-the fresh fruit pancakes.

Villain: Huh...

Hero: Th-this one... [points to menu]

Villain: Say it.

Hero: What?

Villain: Say. It.

Hero: I'd like a... r-....rooty t-tooty....

Villain: Say it like you mean it.

Hero: [starting to cry] I-l want a r-r-rooty t-tooty f-f-....f-fresh n... n fruity...

Source

[villainouspeachpie]

Vacation

It was the perfect summer day, and Villain was taking a vacation. They adjusted their sunglasses, taking a small sip of their drink, and then put it down into the chair’s cup holder. Villain folded their hands behind the beach chair and sighed in relaxation. They deserved a vacation. It had been a long week.  “What are you doing on my lawn!?” Hero yelled, as they stormed toward Villain. Villain glanced behind their chair, realizing Hero had finally noticed them. Villain tipped their sunglasses down and smiled.  “Your establishment has terrible service. I checked in hours ago, and not one single employee came up to me!” Villain said as they pouted. Of course, when Hero grabbed a baseball bat from behind the door, they realized it was time to check out.

[villainouspeachpie]

People say that Supervillain has a bridge in front of their tower that only the pure of heart can cross. Supervillain claims that they only want the best of the best to be able to face off against them. Anyone who is not pure of heart will be dragged down by the beast that lives below. Now that Hero was captured after trying to face off against Supervillain, Villain now has to explain to the beast that after a lifetime of evil, they have pure intentions to rescue hero.

[villainouspeachpie]

Mad scientist Villain and average Civilian who are roommates. Villain trying to make their evil plans, causing their roommate to tell them to quit the evil laughter, they’re playing videogames. Civilian listening to their music too loudly, causing villain to drop an invention they’ve been working on all week.  “Civilian! I have chosen you to help me complete my newest elixir!”

“Sure, sure, whatever. Let me finish tying my shoes at least.”

[villainouspeachpie]

Wrongly recruited

The heroes were having a tour of their base for the civilians of the city. Something about making sure that the base was in top form to make sure everyone felt safe. This was not an opportunity villain was about to pass up. Who knows how many secrets the heroes had hidden around, easily accessible to villain in civilian clothing?

Villain stepped in with the group, some holding cameras, some just seeming like plain tourists. Maybe they should have brought a camera too? It would have been easier to document their research. Oh well. They split off the tour group to walk toward a room full of statues, just out of curiosity.

A few marble statues of the founders stood at the end of the room. Hero must of mentioned their names a few times, but villain could never remember. Villain rolled their eyes, and went off to lean against a wall. However, they became distracted with a statue of a very familiar face. A face they had disliked from day 1.  Unfortunately, the owner of said face had snuck up right beside them.  “Hey there buddy! Did you get lost? Need a map?” Villain shot up, suddenly awake from their very important study on the statue’s not at all attractive face, and barely missed punching Hero in the stomach. It was just out of reflex, although they promised themself that they totally would have done that anyway, given the chance.

“Oh, wow. You have good reflexes! Hey, buddy, are you a new recruit?” It took all of villain’s strength not to laugh in their face. Them? A hero? Never in a million years.  “Well, ha, actually Im a-” Wait. They couldn’t say that. They were surrounded by heroes. Hero would know what Villain looked like. What could they do? They already knew, but they really, really didn’t want to say it.  “A…a… recruitment.” Villain sighed. “That’s great! Looks like you’re cute a one too, if you don’t mind me saying. See you around soon, buddy!” Hero smiled at them. Villain knew they were absolutely doomed. 

[villainouspeachpie]

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

[villainouspeachpie]

Train tracks

Villain had done it. They stood over hero, in victory. Hero had fallen to the ground after tripping over the tracks in front of them. Villain’s helmet glowed in the shine of midnight, their face never seen by the outside world. Hero’s fingers dug into the ground below them, dirt gathering under their nails.  “Hero. You truly have no idea how long I have waited for this moment!” They took a step forward. “My victory is your failure!” Hero assumed they were smiling.

Villain continued their monologue, eyes only for hero. They were trapped in their own little world, as always. Hero always believed they were passionate about their work. Neither of them saw the train which approached them.  Villain let out a maniacal laugh. Over the laughter, hero heard the engine. They realized villain stood right on top of the tracks. They would be hit and then… well they just couldn’t stand to think about it.  They rushed over to villain, tackling them, with such force that their helmet flew off their head. Even though they were enemies, hero couldn’t lose villain. They held them close, villain’s hair swept over their face.  “Ow! Hero! Why did you-” The train swept past them, villain’s bangs uncovering their eyes from the wind. They were shocked. Hero smiled at them as they held villain in their arms.

“…You saved…me?” Hero could only continue smiling.

“I guess I did.”

[villainouspeachpie]

Long distance

Based on my prompt here: https://villainouspeachpie.tumblr.com/post/676635972838014976/villain-has-always-appeared-in-front-of-hero-from

Hero had always though of villain as an intimidating figure. Seeing them before their very eyes however, they quickly realized they were much different then they had imagined.  “You’re so short…” Hero whispered. “Wait, I didn’t mean to say that out loud- I mean- what I meant to say was-” Villain glared at them, leading hero into silence.  “I’m not short!” Villain cried out. They didn’t know any better. They didn’t have much experience with other people. “Oh really? You’re not short? Then how come I can do this?”

Hero picked villain up in between the arms, their legs dangling in midair off the doorstep, while villain’s cheeks tinted with the embarrassing of being wrong.  “You know, it’s actually much more fun this way. Instead of us fighting, I should just keep picking you up and carry you around places. We can travel the world!”

This earned hero a swift kick to the chest.

[villainouspeachpie]

Curses…

Villain is cursed by a witch to die in one year. The only way for them to avoid it is to be romantically rejected. They immediately call the one person who hates them the most, just to make sure.

“Hero! Hello there! You know, after all these years of trying to kill each other, I believe I’ve developed, uh, feelings. For you, specifically. So… want to go on a date?” Villain awaited their response. Surely their greatest enemy would be willing to toss their heart out the window. If not them, then who?

“Villain? Are you messing with me?” Here it comes. The rejection. With only 364 days to spare. “Nope! I have sooo many feelings for you. All of them actually.” 

“Villain, I’ve felt this way about you for so long… I love you.”  Villain blushed at that.