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school doodles bleghjh

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i don’t even gaf about jared all that much but his haters are so fucking annoying i have to defend him every time

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say what you will about jensen ackles but in 2005 he made the active decision to pitch dean’s voice lower not because he felt like dean’s voice was naturally low but because JDM’s voice was low and he thought dean would try to talk like his dad

he’s the ultimate dean studies enthusiast. he said dean is a performer from day One.

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Yes Supernatural is 15 seasons long but it’s really simple. every season something happens and the world is about to end and one of the main characters goes I have an idea I’M GONNA KILL MYSLEF and that’s it. for 15 seasons. and the gay yearning of course

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i love how cas was obsessed with bees for like 4 eps and now hes known as The Bee Guy. like oh castiel? you mean the guy who likes bees? the bee guy? that one guy who is really obsessed with bees? its so funny to me

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I just remembered that Dean told Sam back in season 1 how John used to swing by Stanford all the time just to keep an eye on him and make sure he was okay despite their bad fight when he left and not talking and I am no longer okay

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'sam is a john copy'

what are your thoughts on this take?

largely used by people who don’t understand sam at all lol. like they say this because A) they cartoon-villainize john, and B) they villainize sam as well in order to validate dean’s self-centered perspective on everything that goes wrong btwn the brothers.

they didn’t even make it up themselves; as usual dean handed it to them. 4.19 “jump the shark” is the key example.

most of the audience takes scenes like this at face value because dean is the character who they’re primed to sympathize more with. like yes of course, poor dean who as a young man wanted nothing more than to be like his abusive father but is a hopelessly inadequate copy because his Heart Is Too Big, he’s Too Soft, Too Bruised. disregarding that between sam and dean it is in Fact dean (by this point in the series especially) who is the spitting image of their father in terms of his temper, his emotional unavailability, his psychological dependence on violence, the control he exerts over his family in the interest of keeping them “safe.” there are cracks in his hardened exterior because he’s a person, just as john was a person.

also note that despite dean continuing to revere john after his death and despite dean believing that john’s role in their lives was ultimately one that was necessary and justified (if he didn’t believe this he wouldn’t have behaved the way he did from s2 onward), he does tap into a deep well of resentment for john from time to time. we see it so clearly in this episode, especially with adam’s experiences with john being contrasted against sam and dean’s in ways that make both of them hurt. of course, the audience’s attention is pointed squarely at dean’s hurt over sam’s.

sam and dean often switch sides in terms of which of them defends or disparages john, depending on what’s going on in their lives and their relationship. regardless of this it’s crucial to understand that john’s role - his control over the conditions of samndean’s lives and his authority as head of household - is definitively dean’s following john’s death. with this in mind: despite dean outwardly appearing to criticize the detrimental impact that john’s behavior/lifestyle had on samndean as children, he is very much simultaneously upholding john’s “wishes” and approaching the question of whether to get adam involved with hunting from john’s perspective - the same perspective that was responsible for the differences in how sam vs dean were raised and the negative psychological effects on one brother but not the other. sam is always in favor of arming vulnerable people with information because he was denied information and excluded from The John And Dean Team for a significant chunk of his childhood. dean is (mostly) in favor of “protecting the innocent” at the expense of their own feelings about this “protection” because that was the role that was carved out for him, as angry and hurt by it as he often feels.

dean is arguing from john’s perspective here, and sam is arguing from the perspective of his younger self. it doesn’t seem like it on the surface because dean is using his resentment for john to cut at sam while the strain in their relationship in s4 comes to a head as a result of sam bucking against dean’s authoritative role by embracing his powers and going against dean’s orders (yes, orders), as well as because sam giving in to his “fate” as a hunter after years of loss and grief and evidence that he’d been “wrong” to “run away” is framed by the narrative throughout s4-5 as sam being pointlessly angry and revenge-driven due to his Monstrous Nature, as opposed to it being a bid for autonomy in the other direction.

overall: john’s role is dean’s and mary’s role is sam’s. outside of that there are traits of each of their parents in both sam and dean and parallels that you can draw between all four of them. john was the civilian and mary was the hunter. mary wanted to “run away” but her plans were violently thwarted. mary made a deal with a demon that would change her life and her family’s lives forever. john was once Soft and defenseless. john kept meticulous records as a hunter to the point that they are still referenced years after his death and even after samndean have access to the MOL’s records. mary kept her family in the dark about hunting after her deal with azazel because she was dedicated to living “normally.” there was strain in john and mary’s marriage before she died and it is implied that they might have eventually broken up if the universe didn’t have other plans for them. etc etc etc. truly you can go nuts with it there is so much more you can do with this family than the average viewer realizes.

I know that got long so let me know if you want further clarification on anything :)

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ppl saying oh well ruby/Meg/sultry conniving harlot of the week aren't WOMEN they're just unknowable evil entities POSSESSING women so it's not bad to call THEM whores is quite interesting to me. bc I think a big reason the trope of sexy evil girlboss is so prevalent in spn is bc unlike the pure vulnerable mother-wives destined for the fridge (more common in the early seasons but relevant throughout), the hellbitches are capable of violence and cruelty and strangeness, these are women who aren't REALLY women which means you're allowed to hit them and they're allowed to hit you back, without tarnishing the image of the poor sweet blonde gf/mommy we have to Protect to keep the wheels of heroism turning. but like. these characters, (ruby, Meg, abaddon) move through the story wearing women's faces. they experience misogynistic humiliations. they enter heterosexual relationships. ultimately it doesn't matter to the camera whether they're made of black smoke or not. when Dean calls ruby a whore for the millionth time, that's a gendered exchange!!! - the show is saying something ABOUT WOMEN.

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hes ambiguously bisexual. hes 30 to 40 years old. hes always wanted to be a father. he never expected to be one. he gets 14 children he feels woefully unequipped for. he has a laundry list of mental illnesses. he has 17 boyfriends and girlfriends. he fumbles everyone. hes suicidal. no one understands him. he doesn’t bother to be understood. he has 10000 opps. he may or may not have an eating disorder. he’s a slut. he will die in the mask he’s created. his boobs are huge. he spends half his day in a cave. he loves everyone. he has an emotional intelligence level of 2. he is astounded anyone can love him. he hates himself more than anyone on the planet. he’s akin to greek myth. he will never get to be old. he’ll never live past 50. he’ll live forever in story and our conscience

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he looks so scared i'm shitting tears

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i like thinking abt how cas finds dean beautiful in a way incomprehensible to most humans and that for the longest time he has no idea that he’s bagged a friggin male model.

of course cas thinks dean is an 11/10 but for like his bright soul or how his freckles look like some stupid star configuration and he fantasizes about how dean’s lumbrical muscles move or like etching love letters into his tibia. cas has no concept of dsl, no idea how dean being over 6’ is highly desirable or that his wide shoulders may make others swoon, or that people freakin pay to have eyelashes like his.

he gets some idea of this in his s9 human era but it’s such a haze of confusion and hormones and literally being murdered after sex that he doesnt really get it until theyre in their post-canon fix-it era, like eight months into their relationship bc he remembers some off hand comment from some npc in a bar and he just goes:

“Dean, you’re actually… very ‘hot’. In the human way.” he says this with his best wet meow meow face, eyes wide and lips parted in awe.

and dean is just like mock offended and rolls his eyes bc he thinks cas is joking but then realizes cas isnt and sort of takes it personally bc holy hell this is crazy and is like “are you telling me you’ve been lying about bein’ in to me? what about all that crap you said i-in bed, man!? you called me b-beaut—” and he gets rlly insecure bc he freakin knew it, cas cant really be this into him

and then of course cas HAS to prove to dean that he finds him wildly attractive which leads to the sappiest, hottest and weirdest sex of dean’s life as cas fucks him and talks about how hot his molar teeth and how sexy seeing his pulse in his jugular veins is

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In season 1 of supernatural ep 21 (I think) there's this dialogue, about John, that goes:

Dean: I would feel a lot better if we were there backing him up

Sam: I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up

The context is kind of important but I'm tossing it aside for now, because I think this two lines describe perfectly the brother's dinamic towards John (at least in the early seasons). I just kept thinking about it.

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Sammy from my spn au: the good timeline where Sam’s trans, Jess lives, and Dean comes out as bi in season 2

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sam and dean decorate the christmas tree in the bunker.

castiel pulls the angel topper out of the box.

dean sharpied the hair black and gave it a mini trench coat and tie.

sam stretches to place ceramic castiel on top of the tree.

castiel tilts his head and frowns.

he is tired of their bullshit.

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i’m not saying violent nasty wall sex would have fixed dean during the moc but i am saying they should have at least considered it

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“cas invented free will” this and “cas was the first to defy chuck” that uhm actually dean accidentally invented free will bc he took one look at the billion year old building sized wheel of flaming winged eyes wrapped up in a grumpy tench coat and “yeah what the hell i’ll flirt with that”