walkininthelane - Tumblr blog

[walkininthelane]

I WRITE WHAT MY LIPS CANNOT SAY, BECAUSE BEAUTY COMES NOT FROM THE MIND, BUT RATHER FROM THE HEART. WHAT MY MOUTHS KNOWS NOT THE WAY, I FIND EXPRESSION IN ART.

Myself

[walkininthelane]

Proverbs 31

Now that I am officially going to be a wife, I've been thinking more and more about Proverbs 31 and the woman it represents. Of all the qualities that she is, I am equally the opposite. I have really been struggling lately with finding my identity and becoming who that is. I know who I want to be. I want to be selfless and kind, a servant. I want to give comfort to those around me who are without hope. I want to make people smile and help them see their potential. I want people to have the joy I've found in my Savior, to feel the peace that encompasses my heart. I want to love on those who feel unloved and show them how wrong they truly are.

This person that I desire to be is easily accomplished, there's just one thing that has been in the way. Each of those things begins with "I". The only person stopping me is myself. Time and time again, I use the excuse that I am never given the opportunity to serve or love. I say that there are no chances for me with where I am at right now. What a lie I have fed myself, flowing from my inner selfishness. I am not this person because I have chosen not to be. I have chosen not to seek opportunities, yet I constantly assume that they should just pop up a me. I am keeping me from serving Christ. I am the stumbling block in my relationship with Him. My pride and unwillingness to step out. 

It's time to make some changes in my life, and I think I should begin by examining Proverbs 31. I found this site on Pinterest and I really love all that she shows. Each verse, starting at verse 11, shows a quality of this woman. Each of these is something I am going to be striving for in my daily walk. I don't want to waste the time that I have here on earth, I want to be the kind of woman and the kind of wife whose life represents Christ. http://simplyclarke.com/2014/09/20-ways-of-godly-wife/

Lord, I pray that You will help me to change my life around. I ask for Your forgiveness for straying from You. I praise You and thank You for Your grace and forgiveness and for loving me despite my sin. I love You so much.

Amen

[walkininthelane]

Two Years Past

Gracious! It has been over two years since I last posted, and honestly, I forgot all about this "blog". It is a weird, almost humbling feeling to read things that one's younger self thought. So SO much has changed in this short amount of time. 

The first HUGE thing is that I now type with a beautiful engagement ring weighing down my left hand. That's right, I AM ENGAGED! To a man so wonderful, he's like a fictional character. Yet I get to call him my one and only. God is so good and I am so blessed. The Lord truly does provide when you trust in Him. My sweet man and I have been through so much and have grown so much with one another, I can't wait to see what the next hundred years brings us (yes, I am assuming that we will live to our 120's ;). We are getting married on May 30, 2015 after over a year long engagement. He popped the question on April 19th, 2014 at our favorite park. He had planned for us to have a picnic lunch underneath the sunny sky, but the weather had other ideas. It was windy and dreary, a terrible day to go to the park and I truly thought my man was insane. But as we walked up to the pavilion and  I saw the beautiful display that had been set up for us, I suddenly didn't mind the weather. I think we were both too nervous to eat, so instead, we walked a bit and he looked at me and said "Well there's no easy way to do this.." and he got down on his knee and asked me to be his bride. I probably looked like an idiot with my mouth hanging open for as long as it did, but I was finally able to answer him. It makes me laugh to think back at the weather and the way he asked me, saying "There's no easy way to do this". To some, it might be silly and seem like a fail of a proposal, but to me, it was perfect. An unforgettable day that our children will be able to laugh at with us. I am so excited and terrified for this journey that we are going to begin with each other. Truly a single step that will change our lives forever. With God as our Rock and each other to  cling to, I know that it will be the greatest adventure of them all.

"Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer." - Romans 12:12

[walkininthelane]

[walkininthelane]

[walkininthelane]

[walkininthelane]

He always knows best :)

I've been totally stressing out about where to go to college. Every day I beg God to show me where He would have me go and what He would have me do. Well, last week, I just about met my wits end. I told God that I needed an answer that was 100% clear, where I knew for sure it was him. I had just about given up on it all, when he sent me that answer. I recieved an acceptance letter from the very school that I had originally felt God calling me too! God is so good and always answers prayer! Maybe not in your time, but in His time. And He always knows best!

Thank You God for showing me time and time again how amazing and sovereign You are! Forgive me for my lack of faith and trust in You. Guide and direct my life. I love you so very much! Amen.

[walkininthelane]

This weekend was an emotionally exhausting weekend. I was able to witness two sides to a relationship. The ending of one, and the beginning of another.

In one of my posts, I mentioned that my dad's cousin died. His funeral was on Friday and it was one that I'll never forget. It was full of love and memories. So very very bittersweet. After the funeral, his wife opened up her home and her heart to my family. She began to speak to us about the relationship they had. How he was her sweet heart, her soul mate, her best friend. They loved spending time together, unlike some marriages. They lived to make the other happy. And now that marriage, that bond is gone. Her sweet heart is no longer with her. That relationship is over. How heartbreaking it was to watch the emotions that played out on her face. Grief, fear, sorrow, and yet, there was something else. Almost like a determination. Determination to live, to not let that relationship to end in vain. In those few moments spent talking with her, I grew to admire and respect this sweet woman. She has a courage that can only come from being loved unconditionally. And she now has a desire to pass that love on.

This weekend, I was also able to witness a relationship began. My sweet sister and her wonderful boyfriend got engaged on Saturday night. They have been together since they were sixteen and now they are both twenty one. It's amazing to be able to see how they have grown together. The love they share is a beautiful one. The kind that isn't self seeking. It is a selfless kind of love, and I know that God will bless them. At their engagement party, I just watched the two of them interact. The pure joy and devotion on their faces brought tears to my eyes. They truly have a once in a life time kind of love.

It was such a blessing to be able to see these two different angles of love and marriage. The very beginning and the "till death do us part". These examples of true love are exactly what I want. One that can't be seperated by years, or even death. Love, that no matter how long or how far apart, is still as pure and sweet as it was in the beginning.

"Though miles may lie between us, we're never far apart, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart."

[walkininthelane]

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5, NIV).

[walkininthelane]

"You are faithful, God, You are faithful!"

[walkininthelane]

[walkininthelane]

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

[walkininthelane]

The Lord will either calm your storm . . . or allow it to rage while He calms you.

[walkininthelane]

I can't live without you..

I can absolutely positutely not stand it when someones tells their bf/gf that they can't live without them. That's a lie. You lived without them before, and yes, you can live without them again. You choose not to live without them! The only person you literally cannot live without is the One who is life and who gives life. Jesus. Without Him, you are nothing. Without Him, you cannot live. Without Him, life is pointless and there is nothing to live for. My second cousin died on Tuesday. He was only sixty years old. He had a heart attack on his job sight. Died before reaching the hospital. He woke up that morning,just like every morning, and prepared for his work day. Kissed his wife, not knowing it was for the last time, ate his last breakfast, said his absolute last words to the people around him. And that afternoon, he left this earth. He literally could not live without God. God gives us the option of eternal life in heaven, or eternal life in hell. We can either choose life, or destruction. It all comes back to that choice. Are you going to choose life, or death? It's up to you, but if you're looking for it in your bf/gf, I can already tell you what you've chosen, and its not life.

[walkininthelane]

[walkininthelane]

"Give me all your troubles before you go to bed. I'm going to be up anyway."

— God.

[walkininthelane]

"The Longest Journey Takes a Single Step"

What's the big idea? Whats the deal with the title? What does that bible verse have to do with anything?

Well, as graduation day draws closer and closer, there are some pretty big decisions I have to make. 1. Where to go to college? 2. What to major in? and 3. Is the place I'm going and thing I'm doing in the will of God?

That's where the title comes in. "The Longest Journey Takes A Single Step". As I begin to travel this journey of "growing up", I'm beginning to realize more and more that it really does take just one single step. And all of a sudden, I'm grown. I'm out of high school. Old friends are gone and being replaced by new friends. A brand spankin new chapter of life has begun. And that's where the verse comes in. Provers 16:3 is my life verse. "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. Commiting everything you do to God is the most difficult thing of all time. It causes you to reflect and review your decisions. Is this something I should even think about doing? That verse is what I am trying to live out right now. Committing all my plans, everything I desire to God. Because I know without Him, they're just meaningless anyways. So, that's what this blog is. Me, pouring out my frustrations and emotions, as I partake in this journey of life, by committing all I am to the Lord.

Blessings,

Lane