“I withdraw from people and places from time to time. I need space from a world that is filled with millions of mouths that talk too much but never have anything to say.”
How are you? Have you been living your best life? I'm doing great if you may ask... not living my best life but somehow close to it. Feeling, living and savouring... You know, sometimes I think I found you, that I'm finally, slowly seeing you then sometimes I feel like it might not be you or probably not sure that it's you... but you know, how would we know? Probably not until we've said along the lines of "finally, we're here." How amazing is that!?! Anyway, as you can see the photo's a folage of some sort where Shakespeare's body lies but the song's about love. I think I've wanted to tell you I'd love you even before my mind could get a grasp of it. My heart does for quite a while, my eyes and mind's slowly seeing it now. I might be hesitant to tell you but I love you for quite a while now and it's shocking for me to say it because it's been god knows when since I've said it with all of me. No hesitations, nor reservations. All of who I am, right now feels and choose this. I hope you do too, because my heart will shatter if you don't.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Just enjoy the music and possibly feel. I hope you had the same realization as me.
I don't know, I feel like my insecurities are winning right now. It's resurfacing one by one as the day goes by. My guarded self had been more present today than any other days. I thought I've given my full trust on someone, but today that was tested. I realized I haven't given it fully. There's a tinge of distrust that I still have because of a previous trauma that had resurfaced earlier and was not addressed properly. I know it isn't fair but I'm trying... I'm trying to understand and remind myself people are different. I'm reminding myself people have a life before me. They have people they met before me, so am I, and I have to understand it's okay to live that life while we're building ours. We have to weave new connections where both of us are included in those important connections. It will take time and we both have to work on it if we want to make this last.
How have you been? I'm alright if you may ask... You know, I'm wondering if we've found each other. I know it might take a little bit of awhile before we can even say we've found each other, but I hope our hearts would realize it sooner than our minds can comprehend. I hope we choose to love and stay in love.