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[waterstarmaid]

[waterstarmaid]

Twin Spirits

[waterstarmaid]

on soulmates

f. scott fitzgerald / friedrich nietzsche / florence and the machine / andrea dworkin / kiersten white / euripides / audre lorde / phillip pullmann / bob hicok

[waterstarmaid]

“the 1″ by Taylor Swift

The Surrender process can be so hard and challenging, confusing if anything. I still have his letter and it’s a constant reminder of the trauma I had to work through and his love for me through that. I don’t think I’ll ever find a love, a person like that, ever again. 

It’s a strange time for me, to be moving on and still reflecting. Then I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and so many of the songs resonated with me - but this one, this 1 resonated with me so much. 

I see him everywhere when it’s not him and the one time it was, I was too dumbfounded to approach him even though we both knew the other was in the room. For the first time in my life, I wanted to drink the sorrow away. Maybe a part of me hoped I would be drunk enough to approach you but even drunk me respects your decision to not be affiliated with me. I still cry about that night, wishing you had wrapped your arms around me and not her, talked to me instead of her.

I know you would’ve been good to her. Hell, you might love her more than you’ve ever loved me. She’s everything I am in a younger body and she’s more successful than I am. It’s why I knew you’d talk to her, maybe it’s why it hurt just that little less, because she was a blueprint of me that led you to her. I’m afraid. I’m afraid that you’ll love her more than you ever did me. You’d be perfect for her. You’d be perfect for anybody.

[waterstarmaid]

“I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star in somebody else’s sky, But why can’t it be mine?”

[waterstarmaid]

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me, to the healthy relationship i keep running from because of my own insecurities, depression, and trust issues:

[waterstarmaid]

i saw a world without you there

somehow, you were mine.

i’ll never find a lover after you.

[waterstarmaid]

[waterstarmaid]

i can’t wait to take you on so many dates. i’ll give you what no one ever has before. i’ll make this feel like a fairy tale.

[waterstarmaid]

Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, loves gives you a fairytale . relationshipsreality.com

Art: Amanda Cass

[waterstarmaid]

Don’t ever let anybody convince you that fairytales don’t exist… they clearly haven’t found theirs.

Bittersweet discoveries

-a.n

[waterstarmaid]

all i can say is i was enchanted to meet you.

Even if we don’t talk, I want you to know that I’ll never forget how happy you made me. I won’t ever forget about all of those late night calls and deep conversations. I won’t forget how you made me feel. You made me have butterflies the whole time we were together. Even if we weren’t physically together, I still had butterflies. You’re someone I’ll never forget about.

[waterstarmaid]

i opened my eyes

and licked my lips,

tracing my thumb over yours.

pulling you

closer to me,

i breathlessly whispered,

“you

taste so good,

like sweet milk.”

with a smile

you traced down

my face, asking,

“do you

want more?”

yes, please.

I still remember what your kisses felt like.

[waterstarmaid]