welcome-to-roomba-fazbender

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

sorry for the low activity not enough questions/not properly motivated.

I'll come back after I'm able to work on other projects of mine and get my creative juices flowing again!

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

"if I wanted in your house... acutally let's be honest I already broke in there and ate WHAT I WANTED."

" a n y w a y ."

1: approved, I phase thru things all the time. That's not a shock.

2: as far as normal humans go... I don't mind will wood, but if he looked at me he wouldn't get it, so ... not approved, but not disapproved.

3: ...

"cosmic horror no."

"but it's been stated in reality I'm an eldritch horror! I just prefer the term cryptid."

I would like to humbly request headcanons about me, if I like them, I shall make them canon

- Charlie The Cursed Phone Guy

GAH-

Oh. Hah. You sure know how to creep on a person, Charlie.

I'll be honest I don't really have a lot of headcanons but I'll try my best to give you some good quality ones.

I think you can definetly maybe phase throw things.. And matter. No wonder how you sometimes might appear in wells or.. Walls. Or outside people's houses... Apartments..

Also I think that Charlie gives off heavy Will Wood vibes. Mostly because of the chaotic neutral vibes that I'm getting from that.

As far as I'm aware you did mention that you are a cryptid. But something tells me you can be possibly more than just a cryptid. More like.. A cosmic horror of some sorts?

Uugg..i guess those are the only good ones that i have.. Sorry if those sound basic, I'm a working person, I don't have much in mind sometimes.

...

Wait I just heard a knock on my.. Door.

Who can it be at 6 am.. I didn't even sleep all night-

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

"Hi Harmony."

COMMISSION ME ON KO-FI!

You get no context for this. I think it speaks for itself.

Cirrus— @pink-link-lemonade

Charlie— @moderator-monnie / @welcome-to-roomba-fazbender

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

"you'll get your deltarune post when the dumbass bunny finishes playing it fully."

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

"HELLO INTERNET AND WELCOME TO GAME THEORY, WHERE WE'LL BE TALKING ABOU-"

Meanwhile in roomba fazbenders.

"I felt a disturbance in the force I must investigate."

Charlie sprints outside by crawling like a bug then stood on his restaurant's roof.

"..."

"..."

"Your not matpat."

"how am I gonna trigger warning matpat in the tags if he's not here... this isn't the same."

Charlie shakes his wheels disappointingly before clearing his throat.

"BEGONE ANYWAY GAME THEORY HOST! TOM ROBBIE ROTTEN SON!"

"aww man.... I'll get you next time though!"

"... my life is full of bemusement and woefulness sometimes.

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND I̸̡̓̂Ń̶͇̙̇S̵̮͒I̷̩̕D̵̥̾̅E̸̳̿̅ ̵̧̍̕ͅḾ̵̗E̶̦̓, PAL!

INFACT, WE ALL HAVE FRIENDS INSIDE US.

A̶̯͕͘N̴̳͘͠Ď̶̪̬̂ ̴̻́I̸̘̤̚'̴̫͌̄͜M̷̱͒ ̴̣́W̵̬̞̋͋Ǎ̸͎͕͛Ṇ̵̗̂T̷̖̙̎Ī̵͇͝N̸̝̿͝Ḡ̴̜̬ ̶̫̃̃T̵̩͠O̵̲͒ ̷̘̋͊M̸̧͂̈E̷��̤͎Ẹ̷͙͘͘T̸̹͐ ̷̕ͅY̴͚̩̽Ò̵̹Ų̸̋̃R̸̫̮̋̇Ś̶̢̨̎.̷̼̩̈́

"Calm down woody we're your friends."

"and you reply 'shut up buzz I'll kill you'"

"and then we split a hamburger, and by that I mean you eat the burger and I eat the wrapper."

"then we laugh about it."

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

saw asks were needed so, I am back!

Charlie, what do you think is a fun fact about yourself?

-🥞 Pancake anon. (New identity or sum-)

"I have seen the death of the universe."

"let me just say, it's very anticlimactic."

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

I hear you're in need of asks yet again, so let me ask thou a question!

what do you think of this image?

"Reminds me of the Strombolian Stromboli Disaster in the gulf of mars missouri state university."

"back in 2009."

"so many meatballs, so many showers, and so little steamroller's."

"Five people drowned in acorns, and red sauce from taco bell."

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

would you rather eat 3 bricks, no water

or

watch the entire Lord of the Rings extended version 2 times over with no breaks

"clearly you don't know who your talking to."

"CLEARLY YOU DON'T COMPREND WHO I AM."

"AM I A JOKE TO YOU?"

"AM I A TOASTER STROODLE WITHOUT FROSTING TO YOU?"

"AM I A MAN YOU THINK YOU UNDERSTAND???"

"I'M CHOOSING THE BRICKS, AND I NEVER NEEDED WATER!"

"now you might be asking."

"But charlie, that's only two bricks."

"THESE ARE JUST A SNACK YOU FUCKING EYIDIT!"

"I'M GONNA EAT AN ENTIRE BRICK BUILDING! TUNE INTO EVERY NEWS STATION! CAUSE I'M GOING WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD WIDE."

"FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK I'D EVER CHOOSE WATCHING A MOVIE OVER EATING A BRICK."

"THEY MIGHT NOT BE SHOES BUT I LOVE BULLSHIT LIKE THIS!"

"THIS WON'T TAKE LONG AT ALL."

"KEEP YOUR WATER TO YOURSELF, THAT SHIT'S MID ANYWAY!"

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

we are the dsaflings please feed us

"COME, COME FEED ON MY CRUMBS!"

"DEVOUR AND GROW SOON, YOU WILL ALL GROW UP TO BECOME EITHER DIALTOWN FANS."

"OR MAKE YOUR OWN OBJECT HEAD OCS INSPIRED BY ME!"

"TRY NOT TO CHOKE!"

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

What ze putain is a roomba?

[He's grabbing his tail btw]

"You see young cryptid a roomba is a circular device made from metal, plastic, the fragments of human souls, the wills of a deranged animtronic math teacher that has a corpse inside him, and wires."

"Roombas are hyper intelligent beings that clean anything and everything."

"they are kinda like robots, but far better, able to be given exact copies of the minds of long dead people, and become copies of them."

"fascinating stuff ain't it?"

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

What was it like on the first day of your job, Charlie?

"Gosh, the first day on my job huh? that was what 51 years ago? I just remember back then I wasn't as professional, alot more driven by chaos untill my business sense kicked in."

"I swear back then for the first few months, I didn't even speak, I just communicated via telepathy before I figured out how my body works and learned I can open my mouth."

"I also crawled around on the walls on all fours."

"but most disgusting of all, I had a healthy balanced diet of REGULAR FOOD!"

"truly horrifying."

"but yeah back for at least half a year, I was learning how to be myself."

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

Yo… Have you heard of the fazcade establishment? I heard they were hosting a “tumblr blog” where you could ask questions, and they mentioned Charlie himself… Any thoughts on that location?

@fazcadeemployee69

"Oh... Trust Me I know, ... they are WELL aware of me, and I'm WELL aware of them."

"You could even say, well well well!"

"BAZOINGA!"

"THE FAZCADE MORE LIKE THE CHARLIE CADE!"

"cAUSE I'm in the god damn walls, and wells."

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

"Happy Pride Month, guess who's coming back real soon? that's right it's your favorite shitposting asshole."

"I'll be back tomorrow and get to your lil asks then but for now enjoy this!"

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

"I threw the guy rowing this gondola into the water, then proceeded to shapeshift my skin to match his clothes, and then started rowing myself."

"the couple on board started screaming, so I held them up with a nuke in my mouth."

"now I'm just rowing them like normal, but I'm singing a romantical cover of the mind electric."

"so that's where I've been."

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

points directly at you

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

We all know the unsolvable dilemma "what happens if I drink expired poison?" but better question is, what happens if charlie drinks expired poison?

"I don't really know, well I got this fancy old thing from an old witch named Ishtar, she sold it to me at higher price then normal, because she knows expired things are what I prefer, and I'm willing to pay a bit more."

"Says it's a potent ethereal bone poison!"

Charlie soon drank the poison and he played a lip smacking sound effect.

"Hmm dosen't seem to be-"

"Neigh"

The Skeleton Horse Charlie proceeds to go on a rampage thru CN Tower for the next hour, before finding it's way to thee roof and it jumped off before becoming charlie again.

"just to be clear, it did nothing to me in reality, I just felt like doing that for dramatic effect."

"it tasted fine, a lil mid."