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@therenlynn @yikes-its-pyrotechnicalities

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hi. this is just me signal boosting tf out of this post because it’s important

So last night was the Emmys. Today I logged into Instagram and a few friends had sent me the picture of Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, and Lisa Kudrow all together on the Zoom. I was ecstatic about it. I LOVE Friends. I went to the comments, expecting to see other excited people like me, and was appalled by what I saw. There were HUNDREDS of comments about how Jennifer had some filler or Botox done. (Here’s some photos of what I’m talking about)

They were all so negative and mean and put me down an obsessive thought spiral the thing that I’m notorious for). Now as a quick preface, this post isn’t just in the defense of Jennifer Aniston. And the fact that I’m a friends and JA fan, is neither here nor there. It’s been an issue Ive been aware of, and since she’s all over my feed, it pushed me to write this.

We live in a society where shaming others for their looks is not only normal, but accepted and even encouraged. We shame people’s bodies (for being too big or too small or for any imperfection at all), makeup, clothing, skin, hair. So many things. It never stops. It’s completely and totally unacceptable. Everyone just wants and deserves to feel beautiful.

I heard a rule once called the 30 second rule, and I live by it: if there is something wrong with someone’s appearance that they cannot fix in 30 seconds or less, keep your opinion to yourself. (i.e. hairs out of place, something in their teeth, pieces of debris on someone’s shirt, etc.) Not things like you not liking their hairstyle, their new plastic surgery, their outfit, their makeup look, etc.

There is usually a reason people do the things to their appearance that they do. That person you just called fat might have an eating disorder. The person who you said looks plastic feels good about themselves for the first time in a while. The dress that is ugly/boring is the only dress they’re confident in. The person not wearing enough makeup feels confident enough to show skin. The person wearing too much makeup is wearing it like an armor or are using it as an artistic statement. other people’s looks aren’t for you to comment on.

Another important thing I want to bring up is that you don’t know these famous people. Yes they may be in the public eye, but contrary to popular belief, that doesn’t mean they’re asking to be ridiculed. You don’t know their pasts, how they feel about the way they look, or their mental health. If the things you say can be damaging to someone in person who isn’t famous, who’s to say that it isn’t damaging to someone who is. Being on TV and in movies isn’t a superpower. It’s a job. They are literally just regular people who feel the same things and have the same insecurities as you and me.

If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t write it online. And if you don’t think they’ll ever see it, why put it out there? And if they do see it, even just one, it can be really really hurtful. Imagine if your comment was the one that they saw. And in extreme cases, image if your comment pushed someone over the edge into a relapse of something like an eating disorder, or bad feelings about themselves that they were just able to start combatting, or maybe even worse. I don’t think you’ve ever been attacked for you how you look by thousands and potentially millions of people. And if you have, I have the hardest time believing that you enjoyed it even remotely.

But there’s good news! You can combat this really easily! You can still comment on someone’s appearance! Tell them they look beautiful! Compliment them! Especially if everyone else is being mean. They will appreciate it and your nice comment may have the power to forget some of the hate. And no, that doesn’t mean any backhanded insults thrown into your compliment. Not like “she’s so pretty! Why does she wear such an ugly dress?”

All in all, people’s appearances are not for you to judge (and even worse) insult. It’s so sad that something like Emmys night, where people should’ve been excited about being nominated for awards for things they worked hard on, for some, turned into judgment day on their appearances. You’re so so beautiful and I’m so sorry if you’ve experienced something like this. My heart sincerely goes out to anyone who’s ever been made to feel less than beautiful. And that’s all I want to say. Thank you for reading and have a nice day.

(I tried putting all the comments in the screenreader alt text, but I ran out of room. So sorry!)

(Much of this is based on a conversation I had with @abnormallywicked)

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So this happened

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This video is just digital hell in a nutshell

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No one:

Ren:

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Just some chaotic messages

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Welcome To Digital Hell

Yes. This is a blog based on our group chat. Yes, it is cursed. Yes, a Tumblr was necessary. Thanks for visiting. Feel free to ask us anything under the “Question the Demons” tab.