Hello there! This is my blog called Vent About It. I created it so anyone can come here and talk to me about ANYTHING. whether in private or on anon i can help you with anything! I love you all <3
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So fuck
I can't believe after everything you did to me that I slept with you twice. I slept with you before I hated you and then 3 months later I did it again. WHY WHY WHY am I so stupid. Because I love you thats why. No matter what I will always love you. I hate myself for saying that but its true. You will always care for the person who was your first time, that's just how it happens. Ugh. I hate caring for you because it literally tears me apart inside. We don't talk, EVER. Except for when you want to have sex and since I turned you down last time you haven't tried again. When I see you my stomach drops and my face goes blank. Every night I stay online hoping that you'll message me. Still...and when I find our old conversations I just die. I thought I finally got rid of all of those. Fuck. I hate loving you.
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I hate how much I love you boy
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Baby <3
Him: You're beautiful
Me: You're too sweet
Him: I love you(:
Me: I love you too (:
Him: I really do.
Me: Good because I really do love you too
Him: Like you mean a lot to me and I will always protect you and be there for you. I love you and look at you like a sister kind of protection, but you're not like a sister. You are but I would have sex with you so not in that sense...
I love my silly boy
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You're the love of my life
I never expected it. I never knew that one day when you randomly added me on facebook, that you would ever mean this much to me. Frankly, I never thought I was going to meet you. Now we are going to the same college and I cannot wait. I hope everything in the past few months wasn't a lie because that'd be a real shame. I love you so much <3
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Fucking life
So it's been awhile but I'm gonna fill y'all in on my shitty life :)
Sooo basically my prom date ditched me. He'd been telling me for a MONTH that we were going to prom together and I was waiting forever for him to ask me. He'd been acting weird the past few weeks and then he texted me and told me that he couldn't go anymore because he "couldn't afford it". His friends and I offered to pay but he was too proud and refused. There's more to that fucking story that he's lying to me about...like his GIRLFRIEND. UGH. I was so incredibly mad that words cannot even describe it. I didn't talk to him and all of his friends were on my side (hehehe). Finally he started to redeem himself by trying to get free prom tickets but he couldn't so he helped get me another date (my best guy friend). So now we're good. I'm the only one who doesn't hate him though...like literally all my friends and family do, but I still love him.
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When I like someone, I always wonder
if they like me back.
if they think about me as much as I think about them.
if they talk about me to their friends.
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Story time!
Hi people I have more to tell you(: Also a quick thanks to all of you who actually read the post about my life and gave me feedback, it really did help. I love you guys!
Anyways. So that whole situation went down on Wednesday and now its obviously Sunday. So Thursday night he convinced my brother to come to the hockey game with us which was awkward for me because him and my brother just talked the whole time because they're pretty good friends. After the game my brother went inside so my boy grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. He hugged me for awhile then picked me up, kissed me twice, hugged me again, and left. I was kinda like wtf we only kissed twice but he texted me later and said "I would have kissed you again but I felt like your bro was creeping" I just laughed but yeah. Oh and then I went on facebook after he left and he made a status about hanging out with his girlfriend today (Sunday)...I was just like da fuck dude you just kissed me and you're making a status about your on again off again girlfriend? So Friday after school I was driving home and he pulled up next to me but we said like 5 sentences cause the light turned green. He called me after he got his haircut and asked me what I was doing and then showed up at my house. I texted my mom to tell her he was there just incase she walked in and he may or may not have awkwardly seen that. So it was kinda awkward and really boring cause we just stood in my kitchen but he walked away then came back and started hitting my butt and then tried to put his hands in my front pockets but it didn't really work. Then he hugged me and kissed me and whatever. Then a little later we made out in my kitchen and he picked me up and kissed me a few times. Oh and when he put me down I was on my tip toes so I could reach his mouth and he started making fun of me for being too short. After that he just walked around and looked at everything in my house and I sat on my couch thinking he would come sit with me but he sat on the other couch...then he left for practically no reason. And we've sent a total of 8 texts since then. Oh and he's with his girlfriend today. My phone has been off all day because I don't want to sit there like I'm practically waiting for him to text or call. We'll see what happens with him. I just straight up don't want to deal with or see him this week but I know that's not possible. It sucks. Oh well. Thanks for reading and listening again.
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Here we go (you don't have to read this I just need to vent)
It all kinda officially started today. So for the past couple weeks this guy and I have been talking ALL the time (yes he started talking to me again right after I made that last post(: ) but all we really talk about is sex...he described in explicit detail what we are going to do together and everything. It's been about 2-3 weeks and I'm seriously falling for this kid. Yes he's an asshole and a sex driven guy, but really what teenage boy isn't? Anyways, so he has been trying to get me to sneak out of my house almost every night since then and I almost did but I couldn't. Especially in the past week he has been telling me how badly he just wants to cuddle and make out, which sounds absolutely perfect to me. So fast forward to yesterday and today. Yesterday I was home alone for two hours but he didn't text me back until the second my mom walked in the door so he couldn't come so we decided we plan something for today. Later last night he told me that him and his girlfriend we're on a break and he was so incredibly devastated (also this was the first time we've EVER talked about his girlfriend). And I gave him advice and tried to convince him that she was gonna turn around and everything was going to be okay and blah blah blah. In the middle of me giving him advice he asks me if we were going to hang out tomorrow (so today). I told him I could and he said he really wants to hang out with me so we decided to. I need to learn that with this kid I can never saying I'm up for anything because in his mind that always means sex. I told him maybe and now we fast forward to today. He came over after school and of course my mom, sister, and a ton of my sisters friends were here. We went to my basement and decided to watch a movie, and after 20 minutes of picking a movie we laid down and cuddled. Less than 5 minutes later my mom awkwardly comes downstairs and asks what we're doing and he just goes "watching a movie" and that was just fantastic...anyways after she left we both knew she wouldn't come back for awhile. So he sits up to move his phone and moves my legs on top of his then leans back looks at me then kisses me three times. I'll never forget that moment for some reason. Then we went on watching the stupid movie and he was hella feeling me up the entire time and a few makeouts here and there. We started really making out and he unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans but then all of sudden he was just like "this won't work with jeans" so he tried to zip my pants back up but failed so I had to awkwardly do it. So he continued to feel me up and rub me and everything. Oh hella funny, he was leaning above me and he tried to kiss my neck twice and missed both times. I tried so hard not to laugh because he was trying to turn me on and completely failed. Anyway, after that he put his hand on my upper rib cage and I was just like okay I know where this is going, he couldn't get the bottom so he was going for the top. So he started kissing me and intensely grabbing my boob and I mean like super intensely but I didn't care. My favorite part was when we were making out and he just stopped and smiled at me, then kept going. Anyhoo, he had to leave and I talked to him after he left but he didn't mention anything that happened which is very unlike him. I think he's just still upset about his girlfriend and whatever but he'll be fine eventually. We're hanging out tomorrow night too (going to a hockey game) and I have this whole idea in my head, but I'm scared that after today it won't happen. I don't know, my life is just a shit show. Okay sorry for clogging your dash. I'm done.
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I'm not your whore. Also, don't treat my like I'm a fucking 5 year old who doesn't know shit about sex or anything. Its really fucking annoying. You're making me sound like I'm a 5 year old sex toy. So treat me like a girl and love me like you say you do and we'll see what happens.
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