what-shesaid

[what-shesaid]

I am hurting so badly. I’m worried I’ve gaslit myself into staying in this relationship and I’m confused really about whether I truly want to be here or not. You’ve got valid points. You always do. My emotions get out of hand, yes. I’ve been working on them for what seems like most of my life at this point, but really it’s only been the fours years since we’ve been together that I’ve ever recognized it was a problem and actively started doing anything about it. I know I keep failing. I just hate that when I try to speak to you you shut me down unless I do it perfectly and I can’t. So I can’t ever speak. I feel like I can’t breathe here. I feel like I’m choking on my words constantly and I feel smothered by you. I don’t feel like we’re right for one another but you keep telling me you want to be with me. I just don’t see why if we’re both so unhappy with each other then why are we still together? It just constantly feels like you don’t care to hear me. I feel like you don’t care about my emotions. I feel like everything about you and your life matters more to you than me or US. I know the way I speak to you isn’t always right. But your lack of empathy is causing you to blame me and not what I’ve been through. You don’t care about the why it happens and the fact that you’re always telling me you have zero responsibility in guiding me just tells me that you do not care enough about me to want to. Because if you wanted to you would. No questions asked. And I think that’s where I deserve more.

[what-shesaid]

[what-shesaid]

I buy her everything she wants. All of my money I spend on her. I just don’t get why she is so ungrateful. She still tells me I don’t do enough around the house. But I work and she doesn’t.. The sheets we are literally laying on right now are velvet. Well, velour or whatever the fake shits called. But as comfy as this bed is, everything in my heart, my gut and my soul is screaming for me to be anywhere but here with her.

I bought those sheets because she wanted them. And I bought this piece of shit queen bed for the other room because I was going to move out. But I thought, worst case I can sleep on it in the other room, rather than the king that was just too big to fit in here. But this bed sucks so badly and I’m literally happier sleeping on it than being next to her.

She scoffed when I tried to talk to her about my feelings. It’s been three years and I’ve mentioned numerous times that I don’t feel heard or cared about or validated by her. And every time I try to talk about how something she does makes me feel or when I’m sad or that she hurt me; she invalidates me. She wants me to change my approach with her. But today, scoffing at me when I tried..that was like the literal confirmation of all the things my mind’s been telling me about her being not a good person. For me, at the very least. She yells in the midst of my sadness turned to anger “sorry I did that!” ���Sorry I said those things to you!” And as much as “sorry” is there and it’s all I want, it just doesn’t feel genuine at all to me. She never re approaches me after the fact, to say sorry or anything else. And I think that’s the most important part…

[what-shesaid]

yeah I'm trash but I could be *your* trash

[what-shesaid]

Hey everyone,

My baby Bentley, hurt himself and had to get stitches, twice. The first time it wasn’t healing properly. The bill was an unexpected and painful $800 plus the additional $200 for restitch. He has one more appointment in two weeks to get those stitches removed, please pray it doesn’t add any additional charges.

The QR code links to the fundraiser on my Facebook. My cashapp is $JadePrpl

Anything helps. Thank you 💜

[what-shesaid]

May 26 2022

I’m so fucking depressed. I hate that I want to love so badly and it just never works out. I want her to be my gf but I know we aren’t good together. I know we laugh and have such a good time when we’re hanging out but when it comes down to us romantically, it’s just empty. The sex has gotten more awkward over the years. We just view the world so differently and it’s so exhausting to disagree on everything. At times it feels like she makes stuff up. Maybe she’s gaslighting me. I want someone who wants to rub me, touch me, hold me, play with my hair, fuck me. I know she says she’s afraid to touch me but it’s because she doesn’t even try to warm me up first she just jumps right in and it makes me feel uncomfortable, so she stops. I hate that. That just doesn’t sit right with me. She expects all these things from me but she doesn’t give me the same. I do half the dishes. I always take the trash. I cook. I feed us and the kids. I help potty train. I helped change diapers. I do all of the grocery shopping. But she’s a stay at home mom. I work on top of everything. She tells me I don’t do enough. I’m not clean enough. She says she does everything. Like yes, half the dishes and she does the laundry. And she cleans the house because she wants it clean because of her perfectionism. I help her when she asks me to but she doesn’t ask me she just expects me to. And I think because she doesn’t work it’s sort of her duty anyway with everything else I’m doing. Maybe I’m stupid. She wants me to take her on dates and she enjoys when I buy her gifts; that’s my love language. But I don’t get any of that in return. And I wanted to be with this woman. But I know more now than ever that it just isn’t right. But I’m afraid I’m not going to find love…

I keep wanting to go back to her. I need help staying strong…

[what-shesaid]

[what-shesaid]

March will be filled with joy.

March will be filled with love.

March will be filled with hope.

March will be filled with blessings.

March will be filled with kindness.

March will be filled with miracles.

March will be filled with new beginnings.

[what-shesaid]

I just want a woman who wants to comfort and console me. One who notices if I’m crying or when I’m sad, and comforts me. Holds me and wipes away my tears, not just taps my shoulder! I want a woman who wants to go above and beyond, no matter how far out of her way, to apologize to me for her wrong doings. One who admits that she’s not always right and that she doesn’t know everything! One who wants to do things that I like, for me! Watch what I like, listen to what I like, eat what I like. I want someone who wants to learn from me just as much as I want to learn from them. Someone who is gentle. And kind. To me and to others. I want a woman who doesn’t want to lose me, and makes me feel valued. I want a woman who matches my sacrifices and compromise.

She said she wouldn’t give me an apology, because she swears that I wouldn’t give her the same decency. But she tells me to apologize to her because I should want to make her feel better, after she tells me something I did or said hurt her. Except, when I ask her to do that same thing for me, she refuses and then tells me she “won’t put in the energy, to not be treated the same way.” Why can’t she see that she’s doing that to me?

I should’ve left when she turned me away in the beginning. But idk how to stop myself. She was never respectful from the start and basically I’ve let myself be disrespected this entire time. Just suppressing my own wants and needs thinking it would turn out ok, as long as I didn’t voice myself because I was wrong. I did this to myself. And I continued to let her get away with not treating me the way I deserved, or value me the way I should’ve valued myself. And now I’ve let her make me feel nothing. And according to everyone else, I need to fix all of this anyway, otherwise I clearly don’t know how to be in a relationship.

[what-shesaid]

Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.

Daniell Koepke

[what-shesaid]

[what-shesaid]

The media is literally telling people they are basically immune if they got the vaccine...

i feel like everyone’s forgotten some Covid basics so please let me remind you:

Your mask protects others more than it protects you

You can still spread covid even if you’re vaccinated or not showing any symptoms

The more this spreads around, the more mutated variants of the virus will appear and they WILL be stronger than the original

so like maybe stop being a little bitch and endangering others because you really, really needed to go out to dinner or get fucked up at a bar instead of in your home like a respectable person

[what-shesaid]

i should make a low-effort cookbook

like you get those ‘i hate to cook! 101: easy meals for the kitchen novice!’ and it still wants you to make a three-cheese spinach casserole

mine would be like

did you know you can put chocolate chips on a spoonful of peanut butter and obtain the perfect snack

did you know if you crack some eggs into your pasta sauce and stir there’s more protein in it so you can go longer without having to make another goddamn meal

did you know you can mix a cup of cooked rice to any condensed soup instead of water and now you have dinner and breakfast

also put cheese on it

put cheese on fucking everything

and finally here’s a list of things you can microwave in a short enough time that you won’t walk out of the kitchen, go back to bed, fall asleep for four hours, and totally forget you attempted a lunch

[what-shesaid]

gay people meeting up for brunch look like this

[what-shesaid]

[what-shesaid]

*me to me*

don't think about it