what-the-crit-is-going-on

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 52

On the outskirts of Asarias the Nein wake to the same grey skies as yesterday. Jester talks Gluzo into a tattoo and notices his pendant around his neck as she works. She asks him about it and he tell her the light he prays to is called Luxon, the symbol on the necklace is a dodecahedron. He tells her and the others, now listening as well, that Luxon was the first and original God of Exandria. Once the tattoo is done and the God explained, Gluzo begins to head to the city while the Nein ponder how to get in the city with the least amount of suspicious looks.

They quickly change Beau's appearance to that of a red tiefling, Fjord makes himself look more muscular, Caleb becomes Jester's male twin, Jester goes goth, and everyone else kind of gruffs themselves up a bit before entering the city of beasts. As they search for the stables and other shops they are approached by a large, stunning Minotaur.

His name is Sunbreaker Oloman and he questions the Nein's reason for being in the city as they're kind of hard to miss and new to the area. Upon finding out they're “sell-swords” he tells them Lady Zefriths Oreos in the Aurora Hold for some work, and leaves them in their mutual thirst for him.

Finally they manage to find the stables, run by a goblin lacking arms, and peruse the selection of panther like mounts called Moor Bounders. They're being sold for 500 gold a pop, a bit steep for the Nein, so they haggle it down to 600 gold for three Bounders IF they manage to clear the monster out of his breeding tunnels that killed the last litter.

They agree and descend into the caves, coming to a barricaded door that doesn't look like it will last much longer, having already been pushed back a bit by whatever is behind it. Caleb sends Frumpkin in to the entryway and once inside he spots many clusters of rats gathered around the corpses of the litter, and also notices a rather large beast clung to the roof of the cave, looking down to the door. The cat is not spotted though as he sneaks out and back to Caleb. Nott has the idea of mage handing a bottle of oil into the cavern to make a trail to the rat cluster and douse them, then having Caleb light the trail and the rats. She sneaks into the room and begins dousing the rats but of course they spot her and alert the beast on the roof.

The Nein bust in, Yasha moving to Nott to protect her and just in time as the creature jumps down and lashes out with it's teeth and scorpion like tail. Caleb lights the oil trail and engulfs two rat swarms in fire. Yasha grapples the beast's tail while Beau comes up to wail on it, the monk punches it's lights out leaving it unconscious on the floor. Still dealing with the rat swarms the team discusses what to do with the beast, keep it alive and attempt to train it, or kill it. Before they can agree they hear another roar from deeper in the cave as two more of the monsters emerge looking for a fight.

Caduceus’ bug swarm takes out a rat swarm as Caleb banishes one of the beasts, turns out if he is uninterrupted in his casting and the creature is not from this plane it stays wherever he puts it. The last of the monsters is dispatched by Jester with a mix of her spiritual weapon and guiding bolt and Beau shoos off the other rats, killing the ones that don't run away. Fjord reasons that they shouldn't attempt to train the beast left unconscious and puts it out of it's misery.

Looking around the cavern they find a rift to the plane where the beasts were from and Jester closes it. They finish checking out for other rifts or anything else of importance and report back to the stable master. They seal the deal of the mounts for 600 gold and ask him to keep them until they leave the city and head to talk to Lady Zefriths. She should know of the interplanar rift beneath the city.

Nott and Jester enter to talk to her by themselves, and explain to her they're detectives and sleuthed out the rift. Zefriths finds this intriguing and asks the two to help with some tasks; she's caught wind of an empire spy in the city staying near the Four Corners inn. Brought back alive it would net them 5000 gold and dead with proof would be 3000 gold. Or they can investigate more demonic corruption happening around the city, it may have something to do with some mysterious murders happening. Upon completion it would get them 10,000 gold.

The two take leave of Lady Zefriths chamber and meet back up with the Nein. The team leaves the city to camp outside again and discuss what they should do next.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Heads up

Okay so I'm real sorry I haven't posted last week's episode yet but I'm currently going through a move. I've watched it and have all the notes down it's just a matter of converting it to an actual summary lol..

I actually have to pack up and get stuff out tomorrow and idk if I'll have my tv and stuff set up to watch tomorrow night's episode. So yknow, worst case I don't get to watch and that summary comes late but the other will be posted, best case I do watch and both get posted soon.

You guys have been really good about my minor (and occasionally major) infrequencies and super understanding of them and I thank you all so much. I thought I could get this one out while juggling move out stuff and work and social life shit but I clearly bit off more than I could chew r.i.p.

Anyways now I'm rambling tl;dr - last week's post is soon and this week's may be late but may also be on time?

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 51

The Mighty Nein Sprint as far as they can away from the fire giants they angered and find a safe spot further in the tunnel to hunker down and rest. Jester casts another message to Yeza and discovers that he is safe right now and not being moved, but is being watched by three people currently. After a good rest and a close call with some strange shelled creature crawling just above Caleb's magic hut bubble, they set out again through the tunnels, coming to an incline finally.

Eventually the incline turns to a straight up climb. Caleb has a bit of trouble and loses his grip and nearly falls until Jester clutches the scruff of his jacket and succeeds in maintaining her grip with his weight included. She and the others right Caleb on the cliff face again and they push on. Climbing over a hundred feet they finally meet the light at the end of the tunnel and are greeted by a light grey sky, a welcome sight after days of no sky at all. They see a strange area of darkness in the valley of the Ashguard mountains where the Garrison that fell is.

The Nein see Caduceus casting a spell and turn to see at what, a grey hooded figure is holding his hand up. Fjord Misty steps to him and summons his falchion and demands to know who he is. A bald human reveals himself and ignores his demand, instead asking what the Nein are doing out here. He acknowledges that if they are to talk they should get out of the open.

His name is Kolden, captain of the Muckmen, and they hail from blade garden. They saw the worm emerge and head towards Ghor Dranas. As Kolden goes to address his team an arrow lands into his stomach. Volleys of arrows come from the rocks and a familiar snarling and snickering echoes, gnolls. Gnolls joined by the krynn.

Using dunimancy, the special magic that seems to emanate from the krynn and the dodecahedron, they just start slaughtering the Muckmen, slicing the arms off of one person and nearly cleaving his arms in half. Beau jumps out from the alcove and runs to fight the drow. Caleb sends out a massive wall of fire to split the battlefield.

The krynn mage summons a poison cloud over the alcove, catching everyone in it but Beau. They do their best to scatter out of the cloud and Fjord summons his Balgura demon for some assistance. Kolden is pulled into a gravity well cast by the mage and is shredded to bits. Things are not going well for these Muckmen.

The Nein are sustaining quite a lot of damage as well but have managed to take out a couple of gnolls in a fireball, and deal a good amount of pain back to the enemies. But the krynn still haven't fallen. The warrior krynn unleashes an all out assault on Jester knocking her unconscious and making her fail two death saves.

The mage runs down to his warrior friend and dimension doors out of sight, leaving the Nein in a field of fire and dead bodies of the rangers and Muckmen they just met. Caduceus heals up Jester and the Nein dispatch the other gnolls and Fjord's Balgura.

Three out of the eleven Muckmen survive and ready their fallen comrades, taking their things to give to family, saying their goodbyes, before also saying goodbye to the Nein. Beau hands one a note to give to Dairen and they part ways. They light a pyre for the fallen bodies to prevent them falling prey to necromancers, and set off to the east, following the trail of the worm.

Night falls and it begins to rain, Caleb sets up his nighttime routine of the silver thread and bubble, and the party hunkers down for the night. The night passes without issue and the team continues on their journey until they reach a river running north to south. The Ifolon river as Yasha points out, Jester and Beau hear voices in the distance, clamoring to pick up their stuff and leave. In the sky, a ginormous bird of prey circles and swoops down to, what the Nein discover to be, a party of bugbears and snatches one up, tearing him in half and eating him.

They avoid the Xhorhassian Roc, watching it take two bugbears and leave and continue the trek to Ghor Dranas.

They come across one remaining bugbear, Gluzo, playing dead from the Roc attack, and ask him about the area and the attack. He lives in Asarias, the city of beasts, and the Nein ask him to take them across the river. They make plans to head to the city of beasts with him to look for transportation to Ghor Dranas, as it's like a two week walk. They get close but set up camp with Gluzo for the night. Jester gives him a Tusktooth tattoo, and the night passes.

With the sunrise, the Nein ready themselves to enter Asarias, the city of beasts.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 50

The tunnel is dark and quiet, the Nein push through the boredom of walking for hours upon hours until they reach a cavern that resembles a crystal geode where they set up camp. Caduceus lights the crystals on the roof of the cavern to add a beautiful dim shimmer to their rest. Caleb sets up his silver thread and tiny hut and has Frumpkin be the watchful eye as for one night the group decides to all sleep and not watch in shifts. The night goes by without an issue.

The next morning, or what they guess is morning, they continue their boring journey through the never ending tunnel for a few hours until they reach the next cavern. Not as pretty as the geode one but decorated with stalagmites and rounded stones. Jester gets the idea to make this room a dedicated place of worship to the Traveller, in case someone manages to come across it later on. She magically paints a statue of him and places it on the best rock she can find to be an altar. With the others preoccupied with Jester's antics and just hanging out, Fjord is the only one to notice one stalagmite unfurl tentacles that reach for Jester.

He fires off two blasts of Eldritch power and runs for cover, yelling out to the others that some fuck shit is going down. Closer to Caleb another stalagmite changes into a “traffic cone from hell”. The tentacles of the rock creatures reach out and grapple nearly everyone, making it incredibly difficult to fight back. But the Nein do manage to throw down, with Fjord coming out of cover to slash at one and run back like a hero, Yasha critting one with her greatsword, and Jester, being entirely annoyed with these monsters in her new temple, banishes one to a whole other plane of existence. Beau stuns the last one making it a much easier target.

With all the collective damage being dealt Fjord finished it off with a double slash to the back, slicing it in thirds. Roughed up and worried about another attack the Nein begin to head back into the tunnels and hear the banished monster pop back up and head towards them. They bombard it with ranged attacks until the life is snuffed out.

The team rest up and continue on the next day. And they know it's day because Caleb with his keen mind won't stop telling them the hour, every hour on the hour, until Jester has Beau read one of her erotic books out loud as they walk. Fjord stops her after a bit when they cross some smaller tunnels intersecting with the one they're in.

They find a crude hammer in the rubble of one hole and thinking someone must've been snatched they begin to investigate these tunnels, sending Frumpkin through one with a magically lit bow ties around his neck. At the end of the tunnel he finds a cavern with a caged creature and two small lizard like people. They notice little Frumpkin leave and follow through the tunnel, spears at the forefront. Fjord tries to snatch the spear from the first one but loses his grip and the lizard dude calls out for it's brethren. Soon the Nein find themselves among a horde of kobolds.

Caleb works out a way to let the Nein communicate with the reptiles and they discover they are to be food for the kobolds. With a bit of intimidation and smooth talking though they manage to gain passage for food. Caduceus and Jester conjure up some food for the kobold chief who grants them passage through but not before having two of his men follow the Nein stealthily.

They aren't as quiet as they think though and are quickly caught following the team. One of them, adorned with a skunk in a cage, scorpion on a stick, bag of wasps and slime pouch, offers to help lead them through the tunnels when the Nein promise him a view of something more than dirt and darkness. His name is Spurt and he hasn't actually been farther than where the Nein found him so not really the best guide for the tunnels but oh well.

After a little bit more walking, Spurt and the others spot a light at the end of the tunnel, believing this to be what the Nein meant, the kobold rushes forward and out into the cavern. The group watches as the next few seconds play out in a bizarre scene. Spurt enters the cavern, turns to the left and tosses his bag of wasps, and is fucking obliterated by a giant hammer, painting the ground where he stood red.

The cavern entrance and exit (across a river of lava) is being guarded by two fire giants. The group does not want to fight through this and devise a plan to get across the best way. Caleb peeks out and polymorphs the giant closes to him into a cow while Caduceus gets morphed into a dragonfly by Jester. He latches onto Beau who sprints across the large room and into the safety of the other tunnel entrance with no problem.

Jester dimension doors herself and Caleb into the other tunnel and Fjord thundersteps himself and Yasha to the others. Nott is left to turn invisible and make her way across alone. Despite being invisible the giants give her a hard time, being aware that she's close but not where she is. One giant destroys the bridge across the lava, forcing Nott to parkour across the rubble and searing hot magma. She dodges a swing from the hammer of the other and lands on the rubble of the bridge. She tries to jump across but falls into the glowing red river beneath her, however her water walking ring helps her not be submerged. She does fall unconscious and catch fire but Beau was watching and waiting, she runs to her friend and scoops her up, ignoring the burning now encompassing her as well. She runs back to the others and they heal Nott and extinguish the flames while Caduceus closes their tunnel with a thin 5ft. layer of rock. They know it won't hold for long and they run through the tunnel, worse for wear but ultimately safe for now.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Heads up

Okay I know the episode is literally happening but I'm not gonna be able to watch and write for it tonight or tomorrow. My job literally had me stay till midnight because they don't know how to schedule people right, and in currently two days in to a nine say work week so I'll probably watch tomorrow but the summary won't be up tomorrow (most likely, who knows maybe I go off my shit 🤷)

Really sorry about this but I gotta be realistic, I'll work to get it up as soon as I can though! 💙

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 49

With the door closed to Old Lady Edith's and a whole lot to talk about the Nein return to their cart, noticing the two mages walking towards the ruins of the apothecary. Caleb warns the others to stay clear away from them and to get out of town as soon as they can. Nott leads them to a riverbank on the outskirts of town. The quiet of the fields doing little to cover their conversation. Nott tells the Nein that she recalls this river and not in the best light.

Receiving many questions from her friends she sits them down and begins to let her secrets flow. She was once a halfling woman, the one she disguised herself as when she spoke to Luke, named Veth. As a child she was bullied, told she wasn't pretty, brave, coordinated, or smart. She was made fun of for collecting strange things like wax seals and scraps of colored paper. One day a group of boys were playing and dared their friend to kiss her, he did and was actually very nice about it and actually ended up enjoying it. The two became friends and then more than friends, falling in love and eventually getting married, soon after being graced with a child named Luke.

One year the city faced a particularly rough winter, the neighboring goblins raiding them consistently. They took Veth, Yezzah and their son, hauling them back to their camp one night. The three managed to escape soon after though, Veth splitting up from her family to lead the pursuing goblins away while they ran. She was cornered after a chase however and in a last ditch effort to escape she threw a vial of acid in what she believed to be the leader's face. It didn't help much in the moment as they still caught her and brought her back to camp, later she would find out that the leader died from the wounds she inflicted.

The leader's wife, obviously furious, had Veth brought before a mage woman and asked to make her suffer. And she does. They bring the halfling girl to the river close by and have her drowned. The water spilling into her lungs and burning her insides until she finally dies. Until she wasn't dead any longer. Veth comes to after an unknown amount of time and glimpses her hands, different from before, she finds a puddle and there she sees her reflection. The face of a goblin girl looking back at her. She's taken back to the goblin camp and made to be their slave. She doesn't know how but the mage and the goblins turned her into what she always thought she was; not pretty, not good… just...not. Again she manages to escape the goblins and runs as far away as she can, knowing she can't return to her family in this state. This sets her on the path where she meets Caleb and soon after, the Nein.

Jester asks how long she's been like this, she can't remember entirely but figures it's been about a year. Probably more. Her memory is fading of her past life, she even forgot what her own son looked like. The Nein reassure her that she isn't what she thinks she is, she is incredibly brave and smart and quick, just the fact that after being drowned in the past she still got on the water with them for as long as they did is a testament to her courage. They concoct a plan to send Luke and Edith away and over to Alfield, letting Bryce know to look after them.

While on their truth telling kick the group rides around the outskirts of the city to continue their talks, Caleb needs to explain to the others why he's so cautious of mages all the time. Beau tells Jester that Dairen isn't her old roommate or gal pal like she said before but her teacher, she doesn't really know why she told her that lie but she did. Caleb, finally seeming ready to share, turns to Nott and opens up.

Just like Nott's name was Veth, his name was Bren Aldrick Eomund. He opens to the Nein that he has studied at the Soltryce Academy already, and how he was plucked by a professor to train under him. He recants a bit of his past with Trent Ikithon to the others that didn't know already, he unwraps his bandages on his arm to reveal the scars along his skin from where Trent used crystals to cut into his flesh and experiment on him and the other students. Caleb also tells them he recognizes both of the mages in town right now and that one is actually the head of the Cerberus assembly.

With the backstory out of the way for now Caduceus brings them back into town to lodge for the night, telling Nott that in the morning he can ask the Wildmother about Yezzah like he did for Vandren. Before the Nein rest however they head to where the tunnels were dug to check them out after discovering that the Krynn (what we've been calling Cricks here) had dragged Yezzah off in that direction. One of the soldiers guarding the holes was there when they appeared and informs the Nein that a giant worm with teeth actually pushed through the ground, swallowing the dirt and went back into the hole before the Krynn poured out and attacked. Seeing that the tunnels are caved in mostly and unsure of how far the cave ins go the Nein turn back and head off to rest.

With the sun rising Caduceus goes off to meditate on Yezzah. He asks what Yezzah's destination, his answer in the wind: Ghor Dranas. The capital of the Krynn dynasty. The Nein weigh their options, go for Yezzah in Ghor Dranas or go to Rexxentrum. Before deciding they go to get Luke and Edith out of town, while Jester sends a message to Yezzah to be hopeful and they're looking for him, he responds quietly, confirming he is alive, and tells Jester that he's somewhere dark and has to be quiet.

They inform Edith she's to pack up and leave tomorrow and hire a few crown's guard under the table to escort them to Alfield. They go back to the tunnels and Jester polymorphs to a dire honey badger (using her creativity to do it because it probably doesn't even exist) and she begins to dig. She gets 100 feet in before morphing back exhausted, she takes a very brief rest before morphing again and digging an extra 50 feet before reaching a hollow cavern with the song if running water.

A vast cavern opens up and the Nein step through, leaving the guards in confusion. They take a breather and persuade the guards that they'll be back with a report after simply checking out the cavern, and begin their long, subterranean trek to Xhorhas.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 48

The band of misfits arrive in Nicodranas and hand over the ship to Orly, saying their goodbyes before splitting up the party. Caleb, Nott, and Jester head into the city to find a bookstore for the wizard, once there he picks up about 25 gold worth of normal paper, a book on the history of Nicodranas, and a romance novel about two sailors on opposing ships. Meanwhile Beau, Fjord, and Caduceus search for a blacksmith at the request of Caduceus. He's been in possession of a broken sword hilt for some time and has made it his pet project to fix it up. Unfortunately the blacksmith informs him it seems to be Uthodernian made (a place far far up north) and is out of his, and probably most other's, skill range to fix.

With the shopping done the Nein reconvene at the Lavish Chateau and visit Jester's mother once again. She smothers her daughter with kisses and subtly pleads with her to take back Nugget the blink dog. The dog has destroyed the side room jester use to live in and has grown quite a bit since she last saw the pup, him being so young on top of being a blink dog has definitely taken a toll on Marion and her room. Ms. Lavorre sets the Nein up with some rooms while they all head out to investigate the mage tower, all except Caleb who stays back to read his new books and look after Nugget.

At the tower, Fjord and Beau notice that the balcony they tried to reach before is no longer there. Still no door is visible on the outside and the nearest balcony that is there is about 60ft. up. Fjord heads over to a nearby fish merchant to see what he knows about the tower, leaving the others to ponder over this strange building. Jester attempts to knock against the hard stone, I mean what else are they gonna do, and that actually seems to do the trick as a door appears and opens inside to reveal a little goblin man.

The group try to talk their way past him, saying they wish to set up an appointment with the mage for they have dire information he must hear. Unfortunately the closest appointment he can schedule them for is about 17 months out. Beau reiterates that it's an emergency and he must hear what they have to say and the goblin concedes a little, telling them to return in the morning, as his master has likely headed to bed by now, and maybe Yusa would be in a good mood and let them in.

Fjord returns after the door closes and disappears, but not empty handed! He managed to have bought himself a rather large snapper and gotten little information on the tower. The others inform him of what he missed and naturally he doesn't believe them until Caduceus reassures him it's true.

With dusk approaching the Nein return to the Lavish Chateau and offer the snapper to the chef to include in their dinner. They spend a nice evening with Ms. Lavorre, sharing stories and food before heading to bed.

They wake early and all set out for the Open Quay, where the mage tower lies. Once there they're met by the one and only Yusa having his morning tea on the balcony. He's very stubborn in letting these strangers in, obviously, but allows Caduceus and one other in when the firbolg offers him his best tea. Beau accompanies him inside and the door disappears behind them.

The two of them try to explain why they've come here, telling the mage about news they've heard about the war, the attack on the Zauber Spire, their dealings with Uk'otoa (leaving out key details of course) and how they believe it may all be connected. He isn't really shocked by much of they tell him so they resort to showing him the happy fun ball. Now this catches his eye as he knows of the owner of the ball, and just how incredibly dangerous it is. He tells the two that he wants the ball in return for his allyship. Eventually he brings the others in, announcing to them he will be keeping the happy fun ball, and in exchange he will offer his tower as a sort of anchor to the coast for them, meaning whenever Caleb wishes to teleport himself and his friends back here his tower will receive them.

As another sign of trust the Nein show Yusa the dodecahedron, allowing him to gaze into it and attempt to identify it. It's something new to him, and as an elder elf mage that's very rare, it's power is beyond him but he does recognize it's danger. At the request of the Nein he does allow them to leave with it so long as they keep it under very tight wraps. Before bidding them farewell he takes Caleb upstairs to have him learn the rune for his teleportation room, and assures him that while it was incredibly dangerous for him and his friends to seek out this tower and him, sometimes risks don't end badly. And he sends them on their way.

They spend over more day in the city before planning to leave for Felderwin. Jester's mother gives her a necklace with a ruby in it, so she can always be with her daughter, and the Nein say a proper farewell to the Ruby of the Sea this time (while she insinuates that if they don't watch over her daughter she has many suitors willing to do whatever she asks…). On the road to Felderwin Beau asks Jester to send a message to Dairen, her teacher and more than likely gal pal in the Cobalt Soul. When she responds she sounds injured and tells Beau, through Jester, that she is safe but still in Bladegarden recovering.

Tensions between Beau and Caleb run high when the two remote kids get into an argument about what transpired at Yusa's tower. Neither of them seem to understand each other very well and it only makes it worse as Caleb is trying to say that he doesn't trust powerful mages like that and he's upset the team wanted to mess around with that tower so much because he knows who is after him and if they find the Nein with him they'll kill them to get to him. And Beau tries to tell him that no matter what they'll have his back and he can't stop that from happening. Even though it was dangerous to speak to Yusa at all they need to start letting people in who may know more than they do about the things they have on them. One way or another people will be after them for what they know and what they have. Of course the fight ends with Caleb storming off after getting in the last word.

Once in Felderwin they see the destruction the war has wrought on them, fields burned and slashed, buildings razed to the ground and a surplus of crown's guard and righteous brand patrolling the streets. They notice a group of righteous brand being ordered by an elven woman who is joined by another elder elven man from a flash of blue light. Caleb recognizes these two as archmages with the Cerberus assembly. Lady Ves Derogna, archmage of antiquity and Martinet Ludinous Delete, archmage of domestic protection.

They ride past, not wanting to bring attention to the goblin girl and runaway mage with them, and head to a place Nott knows well. Yezzah's apothecary, the halfling man she saved, has been burned to the ground. There's no immediate signs of death or life but Nott and the others keeps searching through the rubble, eventually coming across the entrance to a basement. The door is locked with arcane means but doesn't hold up after a dispel magic and bashing from Yasha. Inside is obvious signs of a struggle, heavy scratch marks embedded in the wall, scuffing on the floor, and destroyed furniture save for a single chair in perfect condition in the center of the room and a steel chest.

The chest is also locked with an arcane lock but Nott's tenacity manages to break through it and open the chest, ignoring the plume of gas the spurts from the trap. Inside the chest is a strange steel tripod with a platform atop it, three vials of strange liquids, and two partially burned pages of notes.

What can be read from the notes speaks of how they were having the alchemist, Yezzah, distill a strange substance they managed to force from what else other than that dodecahedron the Nein have been carrying around. The one that belongs to the Xhorhassians and was stolen from them by the empire. It also tells of its effects it seems to have had on the soldiers, seeming to bend time and space and entropy. Further on the words begin to mention Trent Ikithon and his students, and how they could be helpful in the endeavors.

Having taken all they could from that basement the Nein rush out behind Nott who makes a beeline to the cart and they ride down the road to a woman's house. Old lady Edith, Nott knows her well. The old woman opens the door to be greeted by Nott's disguised face demanding that she see her son. Edith is shocked, believing Nott had died, but brings out Lukas, a 5 year old halfling boy who also is shocked at Nott's presence. Seems his father had told him she had died to the goblins. Nott hugs her son and asks what he knows about the attack and his father's disappearance, given what he tells her she believes the elven mage woman was making him do experiments on the dodecahedron, when the Xhorhassians found out and attacked the city. No one found his body and Nott promises Lukas she will find him and that she believes he's alive. With that the boy closes the door and Nott turns to face an absolutely shook group of friends behind her.

They need to talk.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 47

Outside the sunken tower the Nein ready themselves for a fight as they know there are monsters lurking inside. Beau and Nott flank the entryway of the decrepit building, waiting for something to emerge and catch it off guard. Sure enough, a strange fish-like humanoid pokes it's weird, scaly head out and spots Fjord and the others in the distance. It roars and lunges out of the hall and into the open waters giving Nott a clear shot at it's form. It ignores the goblin girl and continues charging to the others, screaming. The sound stuns Beau, Jester, and Nott as four of the large crustacean creatures emerge from the tower, two on the top and two exiting near Beau.

Before the fish man can start fighting the Nein lay into him and Caleb finishes him off with magic missles. Two of the crab beasts assault Beau, grappling her with their massive pincers and trying to poison her with their strange tentacles protruding from their mouths. Yasha faces off against a single crab and manages to crack it open like she's at a seafood restaurant and moves to help Beau take down the other two. The other straggler comes face to face with the clerics and the wizard, Fjord rushing over to aid them. Jester uses her spiritual weapon to pummel the head off of on facing Beau, the other going down just as quick, leaving the last to be shot by Nott as she takes a swig from her flask. The bolt pierces it's under armor and it goes limp.

They get inside the temple for cover as they rest up before looking around the stone structure. They find a lot of seaweed and a hole leading deeper in. Nott, begging the smallest, squeezes through and checks out the dark room beneath. It's void of enemies and she calls her team down to join. This seems to be where the loot can be found as the begin find a jade stone shaped like a feather or leaf, a stone made it agate, a large glass sphere, and a skeleton clad in studded leather armor.

They grab what they find along with a great handful of coins and help Fjord find the indentation for his eye stones. Once they do find it they have a talk with the half orc about what's happened in the past with the temple on Uruk'azel with the geyser nearly killing them, and they with about how this brings them one step closer to releasing the serpent. He assures them after this he's done for now and tells them to wait above for him to avoid as much danger. They agree but leave behind Frumpkin to keep them in the loop if anything happens.

He places the pommel of his falchion into the hole and a flash takes his vision. The darkness is lit slowly by the large eye of Uk'otoa telling him he's “watching”. Fjord notices the shifting of tendrils breaking free, one circling around him, constricting him. “Reward” he hears a the cold tendril gets tighter. The darkness returns but once again is illuminated by three lights along a moonlight coast. They're cities, Fjord surmises. Soon he's moving past the dimly lit cities towards a brighter, yellow light lying in the jungles beyond the cities, between a mountain range. The light grows brighter and Fjord is brought back to underwater temple. The walls begin rumbling as the tower collapses in on itself. The others rush to get out as Fjord joins them but find themselves being pulled back in by a massive gush of water pushing upwards. Jester uses control water to help them keep away as Caduceus casts water walk to jettison them back up to the surface, where they see the tower is now being shot up thanks to another geyser.

Satisfied with their findings they board the Ball Eater and set course for Nicodranas, but are warned of a ship incoming as a smaller vessel leaves an island cave previously unseen. The Nein ready the cannons but make to flee. The ship gains on them and Caduceus readies his own control water spell to try and capsize them when they're close enough.

Hugging the coast of one of the islands the firbolg slams a wave into the hull of their ship, Nott lobbing off some cannonballs for good measure, finishing the battle before it even began. Fjord instructs the crew to bring aboard the survivors and he scolds them for their attempt on his ship before giving them food and sending them off the plank to the nearest shore. Jester manages to get her “Captain Tusktooth” mark tattooed on one of the survivors before sending him overboard as well.

Once back on course for the Menagerie Coast Caleb identifies the items he found and the Nein divide up the 48 copper, 31 silver, 323 gold, and 14 platinum they found in the sunken temple. The orb they found acts as a hovering light ball when the command word is issued, Caleb keeps that for himself, the agate stone seems to be a lucky rock (or so that's what Caleb says), the jade stone is given to Caduceus and turns into a tree when used (but only once), the armor can understand it's wearer and changes appearance when the wearer tells it to and is given to Jester for now.

The team splits up to relax on their four day journey and Fjord asks the empire kids, Nott, Caleb, and Beau, how they feel about the news they heard on the war. Beau claims she doesn't really care if they're hitting close to her home as her parents seemed to have made it abundantly clear they don't want her returning. She doesn't even want to warn them. She tells Fjord how she received a letter from her mother some time back that she takes as a last goodbye as they announce they've been gifted a son, what they always wanted according to Beau, and she tells her Captain she's never even met him. This of course pushes Fjord to urge her for a reconnect with her family. Sure her parents are garbage but she doesn't even know this baby brother of hers, she should warn them for his sake. Nott would like to check in on her friend in Felderwin and they plan to head that direction after spending some time with Ms. Lavorre.

On the way to Nicodranas jester forges some shipping documents but has to put them under someone's name, Fjord's captain name is too pirate-y and the others don't want this commitment. They ask Orly if he'd like the ship and he accepts it under name only, this ship will always belong to Fjord but he will take care of it and put the crew to work, earning themselves and the Nein some coin in the meantime.

Caduceus heads up to the crow's nest to snack on some of the odd fruit they found in the first temple and meditate, asking himself (and the wildmother) what Vandren could be up to right now, before casting divination. He doesn't get much other than the Wildmother's voice telling him he's staying out of sight and making amends.

After a short few days travel they spot the docks of Nicodranas and ready to make port at long last.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Merry Crit-mas!

Hey everyone! Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to you all and happy holidays as well!

I've officially been a part of the Critical Role fandom for about a year now and it's been one of the best communities I have ever been a part of, you all are so caring and sweet and thank you so much for being the best people!

Also thank you so much for reading these summaries. I don't really have any Critical Role friends so this is my only outlet (even if it's literally just me rehashing the episode again) other than reblogging art and such on my personal, so it means a lot to know that people appreciate this ☺️

I hope you all have the best holidays you can and get to share it with people you love and I'll see you all again next year when the Mighty Nein come back!

Love you all and keep being Mighty~

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 46

When the Nein wake from their much needed rest they find the sun has much more than risen and they've slept in past noon. When they all rally together in the ship everyone's attitudes seems to be on the fritz, they're all rightfully messed up and upset at the events of the day prior. Luckily Caduceus is very attuned with feelings and generally just people overall and he can tell everyone (other than Nott) feels as if the traumatic day yesterday was their fault alone. He gives the team a little pep talk, saying not one single person is to blame for any of this and that they took risks and that's a good thing above all.

With them all (save for Yasha who is still asleep) feeling a bit better about themselves Caduceus leads them to the direction he smells food so they can have a nice late breakfast, with Caleb staying behind for a little personal space.

While the others eat Caleb secludes himself and buckles down on learning more about the things he snagged from the interplanar rooms within the sphere. He pulls out the jar of beads, the well of ink, and the four books. Using identify he discovers the ink is used for magic scribing and is capable of scribing 500 gold worth of spells and such, turning even ordinary paper into arcane paper. One of the books is filled with arcane equations to spells. The other; a study of alchemical components on corrupted plant life. The next; a transcript of a debate forum from Zydell about the arcanum experiments on prisoners and also warnings if the war with the gods. The final book is about theories of the ice fields and under reaches of Eiselcross, and the beasts that endure there. Once he's done he speed reads the books, waiting for the others to come back.

Meanwhile, above deck, the docks are bustling and busy with naval ships from the Concord docked and readying supplies. Fjord makes his way down to one of the soldiers to ask about all the buzz. Apparently they've been called to the southern coast as a precaution she they aren't very worried about Xhorhassian attacks as they aren't very ocean oriented. The soldier did hear that the underelves had snuck their way under and past a mountain range, laying seige to Felderwin. He parts with the soldier and pay the dock master for repairs (which the did yesterday when their crew mentioned it to them but they may have been swindled…) before setting out for food.

Reaching the source of the smell they enter into a meadery and order their food, further discussing the escapades that nearly ended them and how they really should implement a buddy system when they investigate strange things. Yasha joins a bit into their meal and is only a little bit salty at the fact that her friends basically abandoned her on the ship for six days with no sign of whether they were alive or dead, and then didn't wake her to have her join for breakfast. The team apologizes of course, assuring the barbarian that they didn't want to leave her behind and they absolutely value her on the team and want her around in general. Before leaving the meadery for their next order of business, shopping, the group discusses what they should head for next, settling on seeing Fjord's weird Uk'otoa thing through at least to the next temple before sailing back to shore by way of Nicodranas or Port Damali.

Even with Caduceus and his remarkable way with people, the Nein still feel awkward together but they push past the feeling, most going on a tour of the meadery to check out the bees that help produce this delicious sweet alcohol. Caduceus goes out to find spices and a blacksmith, finding both and a hug with the blacksmith.

Jester finishes her tour and picks up two jars of honey, and Nott grabs 50 gold worth of incense for Caleb before they all head back. On board, Orlie waits for a heading from the captain and Fjord points them towards the archipelago a day or so south of them. They set sail and empty one more spot at the docks to house one of the many naval ships loitering outside the coast.

The sunny air of the island changes to storm and rain as they travel onwards, Fjord Jester, and Yasha keeping watch of the seas and the storm while the others rest up below deck.

Before she leaves for some sleep, Beau pulls Just aside to offer some kind words to get friend. She tells the tiefling how she also had a rather lonely childhood, her father being overprotective and cutting her off from anyone who could become a friend, where she differs from Jester is how she dealt with it. Where Jester found solace in creativity, Beau found it in anger and rebellion, and Beau proclaims that she's a little envious and a lot proud of her for that. She offers her shoulder to cry on and get ear to listen whenever Jester may need it, because what are friends for? They hug and say their love you's before the monk ducks down into her cabin for some rest.

The constant slamming of rain on the deck and hull of the ship send Yasha into a trance and eventually she begins to have dreams. Dreams of herself, in her home of Xhorhas. She's cleaning a fox she had just hunted, she hears voices calling to her and sees her tribe approaching her. One woman, Xuala, comes close and remarks on her kill. With a flash of lightning Xuala's body is fleshless and bones, only to disappear after another flash and be replaced by a ball of electricity and storm clouds, rolling and growing before her. From the clouds comes a voice; “Loss. loss is excruciating, paralyzing... inevitable. It brings sorrow, hate, cruelty, darkness…” with another flash she's standing in a field of burning huts and corpses, next to her a winged, horned, red skinned humanoid who calls her Orphan Maker. “Loss can teach you what is important.” The thunderous voice returns, leaving her last vision in darkness, “Show me what is important, what is worth protecting. This storm was birthed only for you.” and suddenly she's back on the deck of The Ball Eater.

Lightning strikes the deck but doesn't do the damage she thought it would, instead it leaves the wood blackened a bit and a creature. It appears to be a man in the shape of crackling blue energy. It approaches her and swipes out, clearing her with electricity. Fjord and Jester saw the lightning but in lieu of the castle they see a small order of energy. Yasha begins to fight it, striking out with her sword a few times and being clawed at other times. Eventually it calls forth the lightning to smite her, she drops her sword but persists and picks it back up, swinging out again. Jester joins the fray to heal her friend fighting this pale ball of light but once she interferes the orb grows for her, to Yasha the creature gains twice it's size. Eventually jester leaves the battle to Yasha, backing up a good 20 feet and the thing shrinks back down. The energy man floats above and back, near one of the mast and calls forth more lightning, striking the enraged aasimar.

She climbs the mast to fight it in melee, and is once again struck from the sky, dripping her sword 15 feet below her to the deck. With no weapon she uses her hands and grapples the cluster of energy and electricity that appears to be his heart, gripping tight and pulling it from the vague shape of its body. The figure disappates and Yasha falls back to the deck from the force of her pull no longer being fought against. She barely manages to stay conscious from the drop but Jester is quick to heal her up and send her to Caduceus while she mends the ship.

Watching Jester finish up her repairs and hurry off to Yasha and Caduceus, Fjord sends for Beau, his first mate, to take over captaining the ship so he can rest as the storm seems to be dying off a little. They're out of the worst of it and he's exhausted. Below deck Caduceus and the girls talk about what the hell just happened. Yasha shares the visions she saw and elaborates on what they mean.

She believes this may have been a test in reference to her past. Back in Xhorhas she was in a matriarchal tribe, the leader of the tribe was called the Sky Spear. Once in the tribe the Sky Spear requires you to take a blood oath to the tribe and then you're given a name; hers was Orphan Maker. Along with the name you're given a mate, however Yasha had fallen for someone else. Her and the other person had a private marriage, but eventually the tribe found out and the punishment for this apparent crime was death. Her tribe killed her wife and she ran, she feels cowardly for her actions, in her tribe when you get married it's for life and she just ran. Her wife's name was Xuala…

As she was running from her Homeland there was time she can't account for, she can't remember and doesn't know how it happened but one day she snapped out of it, woke up, and was kneeling before a shrine to the Storm Lord. He saved her. She doesn't know from what, but he saved her. She knows one day she'll return to Xhorhas despite not really wanting to, especially because she doesn't know where Xuala is buried. But when she does go back, if she does find her wife's grave, she has so many flowers to give her.

Morning breaks over the ocean and the crew make their way to the deck. The archipelago is in the distance and they make for the center of it at full speed. Once they're as close to the center as they can be, they send Frumpkin down to investigate the depths. It isn't as deep as the Diver's Grave but still as dangerous, with the octopus spotting a forest of seaweed adorned with bodies. One twitches and settles again, definitely not dead, aside from that Frumpkin spots a tower emerging from the submerged volcanic rocks. Knowing what they're up against the Nein jump in, with the aid of Fjord's water breathing spell and quietly begin to sink down. When they get close enough, the ones with ranged attacks single one body out and send a flurry of spells it's way, it raises it's head at the display of light and magic above it and is exploded from the sneak attacks. The other four bodies of course notice the attack and untangle themselves from the seaweed, swimming rapidly to the Nein. A short scuffle and Nott takes two out rapidly fire, two left. Beau implodes the head of the one assaulting her with her knee and Jester finished off the last with a particularly powerful toll of the dead that turns the fish monster zombie into chum. The threat neutralized Fjord approaches the tower, forgetting all about the buddy system, and is spotted by an odd crustacean creature. It doesn't attack but backs into the tower again before Fjord can even think about hiding.

Beau and Yasha peek in through the thin windows of the tower using Caleb's light globules to help them and they see three of the odd shrimp like crustacean monsters inside the tower, spooked by the light and ready to attack. They relay this information and the Mighty Nein take a few deep watery breaths, and ready themselves for another fight.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Head's up

Unfortunately I have to open again tomorrow so the summary will be late on friday 😔 (especially bummed since apparently Ashley may be back tonight?)

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 45

As the ship sails to the Basaft Isle Nott ducks below deck to attempt to make a few more explosive arrows. Two of them she manages to craft with little difficulty but the last one explodes in her face, singing her hair and covering her face in soot. While recovering from the shock of the explosion she notices something moving around in the galley. Of course she knows she should tell the others of this, or at least tell them the explosion was nothing, and she does. Running up to the deck of the ship she's met with the other members of the Nein getting ready to investigate. Nott assures them it was nothing but a trap Avantica must have set before she passed but it's okay now, and then in halfling mentions to Beau there's someone stowing away in the ship. She doesn't want to tell the others because she's worried they'll overreact.

Of course the others manage to get it out of her and Fjord sends her, Jester and Beau down to apprehend the intruder. What they find is a very small gnome girl, with long blonde hair complete with twigs and chocolate all over her face. She's very chipper and absolutely adorable and goes by the name Twiggy. Jester is immediately smitten with her and Nott warms up to her as well as she introduces her friend Trixie the squirrel.

They bring Twiggy up to the others and introduce themselves, asking why she was stowing away in the first place. Turns out she's being chased most likely by a bad man she stole from in Port Dumali. When asked what she stole from whom she reveals a strange clockwork sphere that she nabbed from a man named Sir Caddigan. She let's Caleb take a look at it while the Nein hand her the dodecahedron to mess with in an out of character act of trust. Caleb tried to cast identify on it but it fails him as the object seems to reject his prying eyes.

The team realizes they're sailing into waters frequently sailed by authority and civillians with a well known pirate vessel and rebrand the ship, with the help of Twiggy's magehand, to The Ball Eater.

Eventually Caleb manages to, with the help of Twiggy, unlock one feature of the sphere which pours a few gold pieces onto the deck of the ship. Then he unlocks a new feature Twiggy had yet to see which poured a handful of green gemstone onto the deck. Curiosity getting into everyone they gather to watch as Caleb and Twiggy learn new features of this sphere by completing puzzles, finally spawning a strange and small black hole in the deck. Things enter into it and come back out unscathed so they lower Beau's top half into it to investigate.

It's dark inside and it stays pretty dark until she puts on her goggles. Before she can see anything she's lowered in deeper and hits a semi soft bundle of things, grabbing ahold and signalling to Fjord to pull her out. In her arms is a red cloak, a pair of winter boots, and a metal staff. Caleb inspects everything finding that the only magic is in the staff and is only meant to warm someone's hands when used. The cloak however, though non magical, does have a symbol embroidered into the back of it. The symbol is a very old Zemnian name; Halas.

The Nein press Twiggy on why Sir Caddigan is so bad and she tells them she believes he is the reason she is the way she is, weird and with bad social skills. She remembers being locked up in a cage or a crate and seeing his gross slender fingers jamming through to scare her, so when she managed to escape and find him eyeing the sphere she took it and ran.

With a little more prodding of the sphere, Caleb manages to send the team (minus Yasha since she was standing away from them) into a green light and emerge into a strange chamber, the sphere no longer with them and no means of exit as far as they know. This chamber has four banners; red, green, blue, and black, with Halas’ symbol on all of them. They also notice the two dead bodies laying near the middle of the chamber where they are. Twiggy magehand's the blue banner, pulling it back to reveal a dragon statue with an open maw, from the maw an arc of lightning bolts out and strikes Caleb and Twiggy, the gnome managing to dodge but Caleb with no such luck. Moving the banner back in front of it stops the statue and the banner remains unscathed from this magic.

Caduceus casts a spell to help him commune with the body closest and asks about it's fate. The only information he gleams from it is that it was killed by the wailing creature behind the black banner. The Nein, eager to leave this odd chamber, vote to test the banners from the safety of Caleb's tiny hut. Pulling back the green banner shows them the statue of a mutated and sickly looking human. A cloud of poisonous gas rolls out from it's mouth but they are unaffected thanks to the protection of the hut.

Behind the red banner is just a red door, also with the symbol of Halas on it. Twiggy magehand lockpicks the door, unlocking it, and sending it up into flames from a trap rigged to it. Once the flames subside the door and the banner are perfectly fine and Twiggy uses her magic hand to open the door. The Nein approach the new hallway and enter into it, causing Fjord and Caleb to get slight vertigo, they continue on this strange incline in the hall to get the feeling they are turning and gravity is shifting as they go further in. On the other side is a room that appears to be a study. They come to the realization that this hallway is interplanar as they exit at a slant but come out upright in the study.

Among many many books and shelves the focus is drawn to a large stained glass window at the center wall of this room. Outside the window is nothing but darkness and even Caleb's lights get snuffed out when they enter that darkness. Other than the hallway there is no other exit to this room. Nott and Twiggy investigate a cabinet but just as they reach their hands into it's doors, teeth appear and chomp down on the two rogues’ arms. The others give little help as they check out the rest of the room, feeling as the two can handle this monster. And they do! With Twiggy slashing at it from inside once she gets swallowed and Nott piercing it's “mouth heart” with a pepper arrow she thought was an explosive arrow, causing it to sneeze blood from it's wound inside.

The stained glass seems to represent the planes of existence but appears to be missing the divine gate, telling the Nein this window is pre calamity old. They do notice something different in this map of the planes in the form of a red dot added onto the window.

Fjord is anxious to advance and touches the window causing it to shatter, suck him out into the void and reform behind him. Beau and Jester run up to see what the hell just happened and investigate the window. Eventually Beau settles on the Fjord way of doing things and touches the glass causing her and Jester to be thrust out of the room and into the unknown as well. Following those two is Caduceus and Twiggy, and lastly (because they stopped to nab some books) Nott and Caleb.

Fjord falls into a chamber littered with bones and remains of bodies. Once he's up and gathering his surroundings he's met with the voice and face of a young, blue dragon. Obviously after some conversation Fjord can tell this dragon is not friendly and he stalls for time before he's inevitably eaten. Jester and Beau join him as his talking wears think with the dragon and the fight begins. Fjord blinks out as Beau uses her fire elemental gem she got forever ago from their adventure with the Iron Shepherds and tells it to fuck up that dragon.

Caduceus and Twiggy fall into the battle soon after and let loose some offense to help this elemental (who honestly is doing most of the work). Fjord blinks to a hallway nearby Caduceus and runs down it only to be met with a dead end and a glowy green crystal.

The dragon shoots lightning breath out to Jester, dealing a hefty sum of pain onto her, and as she uses hellish rebuke to deal some back, the cold damage from her spell gets sucked behind her into the other hallway where another gem resides. From the gem a light shoots out into the floor and towards the center of the chamber where a familiar, but less complicated sphere resides. Fjord uses his armor of Agathys to send some energy into the other gem and the same thing happens again.

After many hits to and from the dragon Jester transforms him into a red weasel reminiscent of Sprinkle. Beau runs past and, taking a page from Fjord's playbook, touches the sphere in the center causing her to disappear from battle (which causes her elemental to no longer be loyal to the Nein).

The elemental, being close to the weasel still, attacks it and sending it back into it's dragon form.

Fjord advises everyone to run for the sphere as Caleb and Nott finally join the fray and he makes a break for it himself, hopefully getting sent to wherever Beau is. Caduceus is next in the teleport line and Caleb follows suit. Soon it's only Jester, Nott, and Twiggy left to face the weakened dragon and fire elemental. Jester is looking rough and scared and Nott can tell, she runs from the dragon, taking it's reactionary hit before bamfing out of the chamber, leaving Jester safe from an attack of opportunity if she bolts too. Which she does of course as Twiggy remains hidden. Once they're all out the gnome pops up, fires one last meaningful shot at the dragon in the name of her friends, and sends the dragon to the ground in it's final breath. She thinks about grabbing a tooth to prove she killed it but the fire elemental, now with nothing nearby to attack, focuses on her. So she rushes out via the sphere and the Nein poof back onto their ship.

They're surrounded by their confused crew, who tell them they've been gone a week and they've already made it to Basaft. Their repairs are done and the dock master is waiting impatiently for payment. They hand over the gold and see Twiggy off on her adventures, giving her an honorary membership to the Mighty Nein and gaining the strange clockwork sphere. Most of the group go to rest after that near death experience but Beau and Caduceus stay up and chat about how they're pretty okay even after that harrowing battle. Keeping watch over the ship as the others gain much needed rest.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 44

On the ocean floor the Nein find themselves standing before the forgotten vessel of Fjord's past, The Tide's Breath. Playing it safe they send Frumpkin in to check it out but the cat turned octopus doesn't spot much of anything. They board the sunken ship and begin to look around, Fjord requesting Jester to join him in the captain's quarters. When they enter they see the room has been tossed already, the cabin a mess and a vast difference from what Vandren normally kept it as. They do spot an opened metal chest with the insides taken but the clear indentation of a sphere having been kept in it. The chest is also adorned with claw marks from where it was forced open. Jester uses her locate object spell to see if she can find the missing sphere, and sure enough she gets a ping far past the ship.

They group back up and head out to the vast ocean once again only to be ambushed by three familiar looking monsters. Merrow surround them, harpoons ready to tear into them. The Nein make quick work of them with Yasha wiping out two and Caleb blowing one up limb from limb after being harpooned and pulled around.

Following Jester in the direction of her ping, the pass another large shipwreck and spot a shimmering light off in the distance. Beau makes sure to remind everyone of the harrowing song of Deschilla and the Diver's Grave that they heard back on Darktow. The follow the light to investigate regardless and are met with a cavern, and piles of shimmering gold at its entrance. Clearly recognizing something fishy (haha) about this area, heater sends a duplicate out to lure whatever could be watching. Nothing comes though and the begin move forward, careful not to touch the gold.

Inside the cavern is eerie, with oddly colored kelp and seaweed and strange lights fading in and out. They catch a glimpse of one light and it seems to be human shaped before it fades into a wall. Caduceus, quick on the draw, casts eyes of the grave and determines it is in fact a ghost. He then lights up his staff to help him see in the dark tunnels and the Nein notices the kelp is littered with remnants of bodies; bits of cloth, bones, and even partially decomposed bodies of merrow. He quickly extinguishes the light of his staff after that.

They press on and Fjord feels an odd, cold feeling graze the back of his head. The kelp forest begins to grab Caleb but he gets out quickly with the help of Yasha. Continuing on, Jester gets a cold feeling in her head as well, but nevertheless they press on.

Beau comes face to face with a ghostly figure, an old man with a beard and black sockets where his eyes should be. She briefly gets possessed but lucky for her and the Nein, Caduceus spots her interaction and turns undead to get out of her.

Along the walls, they notice, are ancient runic carvings, hidden behind the kelp. They eventually enter into a chamber where Caleb approaches a stone table with a disc on it and runes spiralling into the center of it. He takes note that they are very very old and used for conjuration and elemental forces. The wizard feels cold on the back of his head now too as they take a look around the rest of this chamber, filled with salvage from sunken ships and bones and kelp, with one throne in the middle.

Resting above the throne, tangled in kelp, is a ghostly looking girl with long hair covering her face save for her two glowing yellow eyes. She screams at the Nein revealing a mouth full of fangs like that of an angler fish. This must be Deschilla.

She sends a menacing glare to Caleb and immediately he is knocked out, body floating to the cavern cieling. Nott and Fjord fire off shots at the sea hag while Yasha heals their wizard friend. Eventually the hag forces Fjord to attack Beau, the cold sensation he and the others felt must have been her affecting them in order to control them. After continuous assault the hag vanishes, not yet dead by very close to it, and the room is safe for the moment.

Fjord feels an energy pull him to the throne and he begins to tear it open, finding that which he was looking for, Vandren's cloven sphere. He holds it to his chest, vision going dark before images of his dreamscape and Uk'otoa, grinning at him with a nasty mouthful of teeth, flash before his eyes and he recovers. The sphere no longer in his hands but in the pommel of his falchion.

With nothing left to do in the cavern, as Deschilla refuses to finish their battle, the Nein begin to explore the other paths of the tunnel. Fjord and Caleb investigate the runic disc, realizing they need blood to perform the ritual. Fjord convinces Caleb to share his blood to see what this disc does in exchange for his word that he will do the same for the human. They both fill the requirements for the ritual only to about 2/3rds way and decide to leave it alone.

Once all back together, the Nein exit the cavern and walk back to The Tide's Breath before casting spells to these back up to the surface. With Caduceus’ water walking spell they trek back to the Squall Eater.

Once on board they set a course for Basalt isle to make repairs to their ship, sailing away from an oddly darkening sky forming over the Diver's Grave. They barely miss a storm that appears out of nowhere, Fjord and Caleb thinking it probably has something to do with their ritual, the ghost must have finished it. Fjord realizing if they had finished it they could've made the Squall Eater join the remains of The Tide's Breath...

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Head's up

While I'm thinking about it now I'll be missing this week's episode when it airs due to work but rest assured I shall deliver (I always do lol)

And maybe I'm being worried for no reason but if this blog for some dumb Tumblr reason goes down I don't really know where to do these summaries anymore?

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 43

With the threat of being discovered of their thievery, Caleb casts a wall of flames into a large U separating the Nein from the crew of the Squall Eater. Beau runs over to the human wizard and grabs Avantica’s journal, assuring him she's going to stick to the plan to get it up to the Plank King. Avantica calls on her newly gained water control powers to dose the fire but is countered by Caleb when he hears her casting.

Jester grabs Beau and summons her doorway to get them as far from the ship and as close to the Plank King as they can get, they end up by the Bloated Cup Tavern. Seeing Jester and Beau flee, Yasha and Caduceus begin their retreat as well, making it off the ship and onto the docks. Fjord takes a hold of Caleb's shoulder and begins casting thunderstep, waiting for Nott to move before finishing his spell. Nott makes it down to Yasha and Caduceus and Fjord and Caleb thunderstep the hell out of there.

Vera slows down the escape of the two on the docks already by casting a hail storm over them. Caleb expedites his retreat and manages to get pretty far before being shot in the back with a heavy bolt, knocking him unconscious, and skidding to a halt on his face. The “guards” of the island begin to rush to the battle and halt Fjord. Being unable to move without triggering these guards he turns and summons a greater demon onto the deck of the Squall Eater, right by Vera, and gives it one command, to fuck up the crew.

Vera, seeing the mass of guards now coming to investigate, sends out a mass suggestion to them, claiming they've crossed Avantica and they need to be stopped. Fjord manages to make it over to Caleb and pours a healing potion into him, bringing him back into the fight. Once he's back on his feet, Caleb sends out a fireball to the ship. He incinerates almost five people, with Vera managing to only fall to the ground, crispy and unconscious. With these fiery deaths of course, memories flood back of his past and he goes stunned once again.

Beau convinces the guards at the steps to escort her to the Plank King using Caleb's explosion to further her point of it being urgent. Ocme there she discusses with him what proof she has of the captain wanting to overthrow him and take Darktow, and the illegal means of how she got it. The Plank King will still hold his own judgement until he hears Avantica's side of the story, but tells Beau if she's right then the Squall Eater will be theirs and they will leave the island alive, but if they aren't then their heads will be on the warning pikes outside his throne room. He gathers his intellectual lackey, Solon, to help decipher the book and the hooded figure that passed the Nein on the way up the night before, who reveals himself to be Jamedi, and they head down to the docks.

The fighting stops as the Nein accept the manacles and grapples of the pirate guards and wait for the arrival of the goliath Plank King. Once there he hears from Avantica why the Nein took up with her, as she slanders the team saying they were the ones who were interested in Uk'otoa and dragged her along for it. Beau counters this by saying the reason she's here is to investigate Avantica on behalf of the Cobalt Soul and the expositors that she's a part of. The Plank King seems to appreciate her connections and permits her to punch the truth out of Avantica.

With only one minute to get his answers from her the goliath steps forward and asks if that journal is hers and I it does indeed contain proof of a coup against him. She doesn't answer. He steps closer and repeats himself to the elven woman who refused to look at him. Still no answer. The Plank King kneels down to her level and brings their faces so close they almost touch foreheads and he demands she look him in the eye. Of course, keeping her mouth shut, she avoids his piercing gaze and that is proof enough to him that she did in fact plan to use her powers to have him and the rest of Darktow bend their knees to her.

He backs off a bit, stating his disappointment in her and grabs her by the neck. He calls her a warning to others, and tells Avantica he “hopes her god, whatever it may be, is a merciful one” before snapping her neck like it was nothing and dropping her body to the wood of the dock.

With the answer he desired he turns to the Nein, and judges them with breaking many of their laws within one day of even being on the island (which honestly is a new record for them and kind of impressive) and punishes them with banishment from the island. Should they ever return they will be sent to the depths of the ocean, effective immediately. They gather their hired crew and board the heavily damaged Squall Eater, setting sail for the open seas at less than half the speed they should have.

While out on the water, Caduceus prays to the Wild Mother for direction on where they should go now and she sends them in the direction of Basaft. Beau, Nott, and Caleb search the Captain's quarters for any information or traps and end up talking on about Beau's expositor reveal. Nott is entirely enthralled by the fact that she's basically a secret agent and Caleb isn't as surprised, claiming she knows too much to just be out here for adventure and to chase around “our barbarian friend”.

Meanwhile, Fjord and Jester talk above deck, she asks him how he feels about everything so far and their plans for what's next. Of course he wants to find the shipwreck and his old captain Vandren. Jester asks if, once they find Vandren, alive or dead, “are you going to stop talking like him?”. After a bit of silence Fjord nods slightly with a maybe. She also offers to send message to the Plank King to ask about Vandren as it seems the island new him, and comments on his tusks growing in before they awkwardly dismiss the conversation and head off to deal with whatever they have to deal with.

Once close to where Fjord's shipwreck should be, Caduceus and Jester begin casting locate object on both a sphere of Uk’otoa and the shipwreck itself. Caduceus gets a ping on the wreck and they send Frumpkin down to check it out. Confirming it is a wreck below them, the Nein rest up before executing their plan to dive with the help of Fjord's underwater breathing spell. Their feet touch the sand hidden beneath the waves and they begin searching for the wreck. After many hours the Nein are faced with the looking, familiar wreck, of Vandren's ship, and Fjord's past.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 42

Leaving the Plank King's cave, the Nein and Captain Avantica make their way back down to the tavern they were about to enter before getting sidetracked, The Bloated Cup, where they settle down for drinks and conversation with the crew. They meet a gnome named Sauris Cade, a close friend to Avantica, who Jester picks a friendly bar fight with. They both get good hits in before Jester heals his wounds and calls the tussle off (even though she was definitely winning).

After the excitement dies down Beau pushes next to Avantica to ask what the plans are for their next journey out to sea. She begins explaining they are to set course for the shipwreck of Fjord's past in efforts to find the last sphere (and maybe Vandren's body or a hint to where he could be) before noticing a woman lurking nearby. She tensely shoos the woman off and informs the Nein that the woman is a right cunt named Allison and continues the explanation of their plans.

Once she's done she announces to the table she's retiring to her room and whispers to Fjord just what room that is before heading upstairs. The others don't seem to notice the exchange, other than Caduceus who always notices everything, and they finish up their drinks. Caleb and Jester have a talk about their captain, their half orc friend, and romance. Beau and Nott write a quick note to Allison telling her to meet them in the alley behind the inn but when they hand it off to her she simply crumples it up and drops it before giving the two the finger. They wait in the alley anyways for get but after like an hour they give up and join the group for a night walk on the island. Before she can get out the door though, Jester is pulled aside by Vera, the old quartermaster before Fjord took her spot, and is told to watch out for Fjord as he won't have been the only one Avantica has need to ruin.

On this walk they try to come up with a plan for how they can get out of this situation with Avantica and bag the sphere before her, using code names for the captain and her ship as well as the sphere and Uk'otoa temples, it's all a little confusing but they get through it to a plan. Get on board her ship tonight, find any leads she may have on where the next temple is, get there first and either destroy it or have Fjord use it for himself.

Fjord is set to “distract” Captain Avantica while Nott and Jester use one of Jester's doorway spells to break into her quarters in the Squall Eater. Once in, the two quietly search the room. Nott finds a hidden journal but when she pulls it out if it's hiding spot a cord is broken and gas begins to fill the cabin. The two hold their breath and keep looking, breaking open her desk drawer, loudly, to nab some boxes of jewelry and gems before hearing footsteps approach. Jester things fast and paints a hole in the ground with her new brush and they duck down into the crew's quarters, where one of the crew is sleeping. The footsteps enter the Captain's quarters and begin searching for the source of the noise. The girls hide under the bed if the sleeping crewman just in time to hear the figure fall through the hole and in front of the, now awake and startled, crewman who responds to the rude awakening by stabbing the guy multiple times. The two leave to get the poor guard to a healer for his stab wounds leaving Jester and Nott in the clear.

The thieves disguise themselves, Nott as Keg and Jester as Molly, and sneak into the deck of the ship where they notice a man in the crow's nest above them. In order to distract him Nott casts phantasmal force and makes him think his nest is on fire. With that distraction they run to the back of the boat and jump into the water, swimming under to docks to shore as they hear the man jump and painfully land on the deck. Avoiding detection they all reconvene at the bar and get into their room to show their findings.

The jewels and jewelry are just that, save for one that protects against poison, but the journal is much more interesting. Written in an odd language Caleb deciphers it to find it's a personal shorthand language only the Captain would be able to read. Well, the captain and him. It's a dream journal of sorts and a personal diary as well, that describes her dreams that Uk'otoa had given her before and also the events leading up to recently. Vandren performed rituals on her and that was when her dreams began. Once she sensed he was cold feet she tried to gift Vandren as a sacrifice to the false serpent but he escaped and she hasn't been able to find him since. She talks of how she wants to take Darktow from the current Plank King as who wouldn't bend their knee to someone with the power to command the ocean. And that is the bit that they need to see Avantica out of their lives. She also has notes on where the next temple could be. Caleb begins to write down one page of the decoded journal and prepare a cipher for the rest to send to the Plank King and it takes him all night.

The next morning, before they can set their plans in motion they are summoned to the Squall Eater for a crew meeting, putting them in the predicament of having stolen items on them while going to meet with the one they stole them from. Jester tosses the jewels in to sea when she gets the chance and Caleb hides the book among his various others.

Avantica wants to know if anyone saw anything last night but no one has an answer for her, so she has to rely on Vera to use magic to find her stolen items. Seeing her hands moving in arcane ways, Caleb casts his own spell and summons a wall of fire between them and the Captain, the action admitting guilt but let's be honest they were going to get caught anyways.

[what-the-crit-is-going-on]

Episode 41

The pirates set sail from the island of Uruk'azel and begin their two week long journey across the seas to the island of Darktow. Caleb finds Caduceus in his room on the first night and asks him his thoughts and whether or not he plans to stay with the Nein after such terrible times. Caduceus agrees it's been hard but he understands that his destiny isn't supposed to be easy. Caleb gives him the periapt of wound closure he got from Molly to help protect him and leaves him be to rest up.

Jester checks on her weasel, Sprinkles, who is surprisingly still alive but very damp, and finds Nott to ask her about boys. They speak of first kisses and whether or not Fjord giving her his breath constitutes as a kiss. They agree it did count and head off to bed.

The next day the Nein divvy up the jobs in the ship with Jester taking up the role of carpenter. She heads to the Mystake to help patch it up and runs into Orlie giving a sailor a tattoo. She watches and learns from him, even asking to practice on the sailor but being turned down. Orlie offers her and the Nein special to me that increase one of their desired stats if they find him gem dust to do it.

After a few more days or uneventful travel the crew spots a ship in the distance. It's a shipping vessel it seems and Avantica calls up her new temporary quartermaster, Fjord, and gives him the decision on whether to board them or leave them be. He gives the order to intercept and board with the agreement that they will only be violent if they are attacked first.

The boarding goes rather well with Nott firing a warning shot to stop them and their intimidation tactics working to prevent hostility. They loot a few crates of supplies, leaving enough for the crew of the ship to use to sail back to land themselves, and Beau finds a large chest filled with coins in the Captain's quarters as well as a ledger of what exactly they're shipping that clues Beau in to a secret package set to be delivered on board. They search for said package and get attacked by a hidden guard, cutting Fjord up pretty good before being stunned by Beau sand grappled by Yasha. He gives up and points to the crate in the corner that holds the secret package. Opening it they find a smaller chest within that Nott detraps and unlocks to reveal an enchanted ceramic jar and paintbrush.

They take it, give the guard some gold for the trouble and return to their ship (where Jester is giving a crew member of the shipping vessel a tattoo of a smiley face with googly eyes and tusks) successful in their nonviolent (mostly) pirate experience. After hiding the paintbrush from Avantica Caleb identifies it as a magic brush and ink that can make almost anything drawn with it real, and although it's a dangerous move they gift it to Jester as she is the artist of the group.

The Nein then discuss how everyone feels about what they just did and what to do next and agree that they need to make port regardless of what they want to do anyways so they should keep playing the part of gung-ho pirates taken under Avantica's wing for now. Fjord informs them of the dreams he's had and how Avantica now has power over the waters after their excursion to the temple. That night Fjord dreams again, this time of him, Avantica, and a third figure trudging through water when the other two glow and begin to move faster than him, Avantica points to him and he begins to glow as well and make his way through the water easier than before. The images of his dreams and the voice of Uk’otoa hint at where he can find his next destination to get his “reward”, and he snaps awake, rushing to find the location hinted at on his map. Meanwhile Jester is visited by the Traveller, who tells her he's excited to see what chaos she brings with her new paintbrush as she paints him a small statue of himself. He also offers her some advice on boys when she asks and bids her a goodnight.

A few more days of travel go by when they reach the jagged high cliffs of Darktow island. As they approach they see some dock hands take notes of the new additions to Avantica's crew and run off. The Nein give their crew the evening off and begin to follow Avantica and her crew to the Bloated Cup Tavern, however they're stopped by a large human man who is the assistant to the Plank King (the general ruler of the pirate island), named James Tibault, who tells the Nein and Avantica that the Plank King would like to speak to them.

He leads them up the cliffs to the cave overlooking the island where they see the goliath Plank King, Wyatt Merinas. They introduce themselves and explain why they took up the mantle of pirates. After introductions and explanations from both sides he pushes them out to enjoy their night and welcomes them to the island, stopping Beau to whisper in her ear that if she ever sees Avantica doing anything untoward to the island or community to let him know and there will be hefty coin in it for her.

With that business done with they make way back down the numerous amount of steps to get back to the Bloated Cup.