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First Top Surgery Performed in Trinidad and Tobago! 🇹🇹

Hello everyone. Recently Earth (they/them), a member of our trans community locally, was able to have access to gender afirming care in Trinidad and Tobago (in the Caribbean)! I am overjoyed to see their sucess and excited that I also may realistically have access to care.

They reached their goal well enough to have surgery however, they still have hospital fees and whatnot to cover.

So I'm sharing the link to their gofundme here in hopes to help them in anyway I can, I can't donate unfortunately. Thank you for your consideration and any amount will help. Also, sharing their story and the gofundme link as well! :)

Thanks for reading this, stay safe everyone.

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

Tattoo (so dope)

i got my tattoo. it's so damn cool. it reminds me of the trans symbol because it vaguely looks like it. in my own covert way i can have this part of myself with me visibly even if i can't feel or look like me now.

so this was sick, 10/10. need more tattoos!

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probably gonna start consulting with my tattoo artist today. very nervous and excited to start this process eep

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

dark fate of an augmented soldier and her general lover because of a vengeful terminator...lol

i genuinely think we can get Mackenzie Davis back for three more Terminator movies...listen to me

okay but Grace died but I'm assuming they're in some infinte soulmate timeloop. so we meet the next iteration of the loop but for some reason Grace doesn't die this time. maybe they make some decision that breaks the loop blah blah. okay so the end of the world still comes, maybe Grace still ends up in future Dani's path when she's about to be attacked.

okay so that's a problem but that could be apart of the plot. and somehow they find a way for older Grace to stay with Dani in the future and it's all fine. like the movie will figure out the logistics not me. and with the space time continum not in danger of tearing apart we can move onto the next movie.

in this one maybe they fight Legion real good, take away their time travel abilities. maybe we'll get to see more of the future human civilisation instead of just being in the past and only seeing it in flashes. Grace and Dani fall in love in this one don't play with me. so they basically eradicate Legion and all is good until like the third act where they realise a small group of terminators are still alive but they know they can't dominate the future anymore. so they make it their mission to try and torment Dani and Grace in the past and future. this group of terminators will obviously have a lead terminator that's more vengeful than the rest in a really sentient and emotionally darksided way. played by Gabriel Luna we haven't seen since Dark Fate. So like the last moments of the second movie are really terrifying and as the last moments of the film we see the terminator group split in half, half to the future half to the past. and then we end on the very dread filled faces of Dani and Grace.

okay so third movie, Grace and Dani decide to split up (because that's a lovely amount of angst for a couple that just got together). Grace goes to the past because she's augmented duh, and Dani to the future so she can convince future Dani and Grace to hide and protect them or whatever. time travel paradoxes and shit can ensue on Dani's side because she's in the future which means they've already lived her life, or maybe they haven't. just a lot of possibilities for future shit. and Grace just hunts down and beats the shit out of the terminators in the past while observing her and Dani's relationship before they got together and looking at it with fondness, exasperation and maybe some pain. okay so Gabriel Luna's terminator is in the past and he's the last one to be killed but he slips away right before he's killed, maybe he gravely injures Grace. then it's all sad and scary, Grace gets taken care of by past Dani and Grace, our Grace is very hopeless because he slipped away and she's so hurt and she's scared Dani will die. she gets a pep talk from their past selves, blah blah blah. In the future meanwhile Dani has been chilling with Grace and Dani but maybe she realises they aren't together anymore, they had some terrible fight or maybe they can't even remember why they broke up (future shit). so Gabriel's Terminator travels to them tries to kill younger Dani older Grace protects her with a fire of someone in love, blah blah blah. they're still in danger but just them personally because remember the terminators can't change huge events at this point. so the drama is very contained and inconsequential to the whole picture which could make it more meaningful. okay whatever Grace travels forward to her Dani, Grace is annoyed by her future self obviously. And the older Grace and Dani seeing their past selevs look ashamed or whatever. the third act happens maybe someone dies but gets brought back to life because of, i'll say it again, future shit. but it's all really emotional and cathartic and perefct end to the franchise or at least their part of the franchise.

their story ends wrapped up neatly and there's no ominous end credit title card. obviously we insert more emtion and intresting storytelling into this. maybe the third movie can be cut into thirds and we don't switch between time periods yknow.

i can't type anymore, my brain and shat on this post and it's empty now. Paramount hit me up, i need them back. also Mackenzie Davis ur the best

if literally anyone sees this post no you didn't

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if i close this tab on my computer i will forget about this blog. but i don't want the tab open anymore. so i guess goodbye for now. see you when i see you

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

decided a font for my tattoo. i am breathe now

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

Spectrum Outfitters please restock....i'm fading away :'(

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

Hi

i'm waiting closer to the start of my next semester to book an appointment to get my first tattoo. i'm such a hermit rn that I need the socialising a tattoo requires to happen when I already have to socialise. I need my hermit time

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

Hey guys. I'm still struggling a lot actually. If you noticed I'm not posting much it's because of THIS. I am exhausted from the point of waking up to going asleep. I could really truly use your help if you are able to donate anything at all.

I hate begging. I hate it. I feel like a failure when I have to ask for help but I can't do it on my own. So here I am asking

Please. If you can. Help. I'm desperate

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

six weeks post top surgery - i went for a run for the first time in 4 years. 

i used to run nearly every day. from around middle school to the middle of my time at uni i ran almost daily. i rarely missed it. i ran on roads, trails, the track, and almost always with my dog. he’s gone now, but he was my favorite running and adventuring company.

as my dysphoria worsened, running got harder. it brought me too close to my body. made me too aware. i couldn’t bear to do this thing i loved so much. at some point, i stopped running altogether. i found other ways to be active, but i just couldn’t run.

i ran today. not very far, and with a pause to cry and celebrate and catch my breath, but i ran. my body isn’t a cage anymore. i feel at home here now. i belong here.

i ran to the woods, and followed a trail that leads to a gorgeous overlook. i stopped there and i looked out at the mountains and the golden autumn sunlight on leaves, and i hugged myself and i cried and expressed my gratitude to the wind and the trees. i was always meant to be this way.

i wore a tshirt and cargo shorts and sunflower socks with the sneakers i hadn’t worn in 4 years. i used to have a small supply of running clothes. i’m not sure where they went, but this will do for now.

trans joy is important. it is essential. don’t give up on it. please. it’s worth it.      

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

Things People Don’t Mention About Top Surgery or Mastectomies

There is reluctance to do the surgery if you live alone, even if you have a good support system. One of the most stressful things was the hospital constantly asking about who would be looking after me, picking me up, etc. I really felt the bias towards people who are married and against people who are single. I don’t think it was intentional but it was definitely there. (Please read more about this situation here) That being said you will definitely need a robust support system of some kind to get through everything in the first 4 -8 weeks or more after surgery. 

All your pill bottles will have safety caps and you won’t have the strength to open them on your own without a lot of struggling.

There are soooo many medications. Take them as prescribed and when they say take the level of pain meds you need to manage your pain, do it. I got opiods and ibuprofen. If the pain is bad 5-7+ on the 1-10 scale take the stronger meds. Pain can slow healing by causing stress on the body.

Drains are a pain in the ass. Every hour pushing the hoses so they don’t clog. Major drag but they are very important and if they get clogged it can cause issues

Sleeping sitting up, prepare for this. Lots of pillows or recliner or something. Practice for a week or more before surgery to get used to it. 

Sleep as much as you need. Don’t feel like you should stay awake or whatever because you are supposed to or it is day time or whatever. Listen to your body.

Drink lots and lots of fluids. You may think you are drinking enough but you probably aren’t. The fluid in the drains and the medicines and peeing all the time and sweating from the tight wrap. You need to replace all of this fluid. I think I have been up around 80+ oz the past few days.

The month before and a month after surgery eat a high protein and higher calorie diet. It will help with surgery and recovery. You need the energy and the protein to recover. 

Cut out added salt, caffiene, alcohol, and nicotine before surgery and during recovery. All of these can increase fluid retention, slow healing, or be dangerous with the meds.

Your chest will feel very strange. At first you can’t feel anything and then the skin feels tight everywhere and still strange. The recovery process feels real weird. Your whole torso feels kind of bizarre and new.

Ask all the questions. No question is stupid. It’s trauma to your body ask all the questions. YES all of them.

The tube (intubation) from surgery irritates the throat. Coughing from this sucks so damned much because of the binder and the chest tightness and what not. Find lozenges (Both cough drops and just candy) that you like. I say candy because too many cough drops can upset the stomach and you don’t need that after anesthesia and with all the meds. Also get popsicles.

Take everything out of packages you can before surgery. They are damned hard to open. Those paper cartons holding the apple sauce and snapping apart pudding cups and pulling apart pill blister packs.. ugh I should have taken them apart before the surgery.

Scissors are your friend and every package is an enemy. Seriously, get a good pair of scissors for packaging.

Also, skip 2 liters of pop, gallon of milk, etc. They will be too heavy to pick up after surgery. You can be more independent if  you get smaller size things.

Timers are your friend. All the phone timers forever. Also, handwritten or some other chart type to keep track of drain cleaning and taking meds. You will be sleepy and forgetful the first few days. Use other things to help you keep track.

Take stock of how your lights go on and off. Can you reach them while pretending you are a T-Rex. If not, especially ceiling fans and that, put long strings on the pulls so that you can operate them while you can’t raise your arms.

Also check your doors to make sure they don’t stick. You won’t be able to tug hard on doors or drawers or whatever.

Get yourself some treats. Food related or clothing or whatever. Treats will help.

Before surgery plan out and prepare at least a week of meals. Be sure to include some that are easy on the stomach like crackers, rice and chicken, etc. Just in case you have stomach upset from the anesthesia or meds. Gentle foods include starches and chicken/tofu that is low fat and low spice so that it is gentle.

Soft fuzz free and easy to get on clothing is essential. I went out and got a couple of those shorts and button down shirt pajama sets. Life savers. Also, get a size or two bigger than usual to accommodate drains and padded bandages and things. 

Strange pains, you will probably have them. 

Be sure to do the arm exercises as directed by your surgeon and watch your shoulders hunching. The shoulder hunching is from the chest tightness but you don’t want your back to start hurting. Try to sit up as straight as you can.

Pump action soap dispensers will be too hard to use the first few days.

Weeks before surgery, start teaching yourself how to do things without your arms; like standing up, getting into and out of bed, squatting, getting up from chairs, etc. Practice doing things with your elbows next to your chest like a t-rex; getting food and drinking, brushing teeth, taking meds, etc This will be very important

I am sure there are more but I thought some of you might benefit from the things I have learned so far from going through surgery.

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graphic design is my passion

[whatdoievenputhere-blog]

Hey PLEASE be wary of Dr. Gallagher and spread the word. Rylan (testosteronejew on Twitter) got top surgery from her in August. Here's the thread he wrote about his horrific experience.

He had severe complications that were completely dismissed by Dr. Gallagher. She kept telling him everything was fine, that it was because of his weight, and made a joke about him "menstruating" as he was bleeding from a torn incision. When he was rushed to the ER weeks later, he had over half a foot of dead tissue removed. He could have died from the infection (that she blatantly denied he had).

And in Rylan's own words, "My only desire is to keep our community safe. There are so many trustworthy top surgeons in the world. One of them saved my life. Transition is a beautiful process and we deserve safe access to it. I do not regret top surgery. I regret choosing Dr. Gallagher as my surgeon."