whatdoinose

[whatdoinose]

Wanting to connect with other fiction folk but not being able to because people decided a very specific presentation of DID is the only valid thing Ever & anything else is an insult.

-dess

[whatdoinose]

This account will be for soul bond fictives to talk about their issues.

• Rudolph is the owner of this account. He/she

• Dess is the secondary poster of this account. shi/hir it/its

[whatdoinose]

Dess deltarune is an intersex transfem.

source: i'm a fictive (OG definiton)

[whatdoinose]

I'm really happy to return to this body & see we are getting a deer fursuit & christmas stuff? This is so me.:)

[whatdoinose]

sorry to be a hater of sorts. but you are not an animal, or whatever else other than a human that you happen to identify as.

it is not about wanting. it is about BEING, and if you look in the mirror you’ll realise you’re just a human. it doesn’t make a difference if you struggle with it. get over it. a lot of people have to get over it. you cannot be indulged in a fantasyland 24/7. quite simply, grow up

Huh, I don't think I've gotten one of these asks since 2017...

First things first, starting off a rather hateful and concern-trolling message with "sorry" doesn't alleviate you of any potential harm done. You're trying to upset me. You're rude, you're mean, and you clearly realize it, since you're only willing to say these things anonymously. Don't try to soften your blows by apologizing preemptively. It's bitchy at best and belittling at worst.

I'm gonna take a guess and say this is a copy-pasted message, since you couldn't even be bothered to name my therio-/kintypes. How many other people have you tried to upset with these messages? And for what reason? What's your goal? Is the world not cruel enough already?

But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, since these kinds of messages have become such a rarity, and since I haven't written anything for this blog in months. Consider it an invitation to reach out again some day, once you've mulled things over. I'll get vulnerable with you and lay myself bare, and in return I hope you'll consider seeing me as a person, instead of just a target for your anger.

You say reality, identity, and self-perception ('cause that's what this is; that's what otherkinity is) is about being, not wanting. I say that's an oversimplified worldview.

Who can we be if there's nothing we want? A person without desires is hardly a fully realized person. The identity of the person who wants something is as genuine as the identity of the person who has achieved something - even if they're perceived differently, and their material realities are different. The musician who dreams of going platinum, but who never gets out of dingy bars and self-published mixtapes, will still see a musician when she looks in the mirror - even if others just see a mediocre hobbyist. Even if others compare her to professionals, natural talents, and nepo-babies, whose achievements she can never hope to reach. Should the wanting musician let others define for her what it means to be a musician? Even if her music is bad and she'll never hit it big? She wants to be a musician. She plays because of her desires. She lives her life according to her wants. Does that not make her wants a part of who she is?

To some extent you are what you want. The line between wanting and being is blurry.

I do want to be nonhuman, on some level. I'd gladly give up this life to live as a gnoll. I suppose my desires are fantastical, but no less so than those of the poor musician who dreams of going platinum. Should she stop playing because she'll never achieve her dreams? Should I stop calling myself a gnoll just because I'll never have the body of one? I act out being a gnoll, through my digital persona, my fantasy scenarios, and my art. I do what I can to be a gnoll. I am as much an embodiment of my desires as the mediocre hobbyist musician is.

Have you ever gotten what you wished for?

I collect trading cards as a hobby. After years of searching, I got some of my dreamies and completed parts of my collection. I felt satisfied for a day, but the satisfaction quickly turned into boredom and listlessness. My instincts (be they human or gnoll) crave the hunt more than the kill. I get a greater thrill out of wanting than achieving. I wouldn't be happy without my unachievable desires.

I think, on some level, to want is to be.

And while my wants may be strange, at least they don't involve deliberately trying to hurt other people.

[whatdoinose]

What do you think would happen if they just replied normally? Lol. least the dawg had the decency to cut your name out.. You publicly posted something LOL, do you not think posting a community where people aren't doing anything wrong & lying about it isn't also bad?

Also, you are guilt tripping in these messages and that's weird. Bottom line.

okay so this guy is just a cunt. i hope all transandrolosers explode.

here is the post i asked him to take down btw. just to prove its still up and he ignored me.

[whatdoinose]

Nobody said otherwise. What was said though is Kris is explicitly neutral. You're taking a trans neutral character and changing it. It's weird. There's other trans coded characters right there..

Kris can't be transfem because they use they/them pronouns, which are the pronouns we use to misgender you, you're not allowed to actually use them.

[whatdoinose]

No, kris can't be transfem because headcannoning a cannon trans character as anything else besides what they cannonically are is WEIRD!!

in CANNON they don't use anything besides they them in CANNON they aren't transfem or transmasc or bigender or gender fluid..

idk about anyone else but as a trans woman it'd still be weird to me if somebody headcannoned any cannon trans woman as transmasc or vice versa, it's not this huge social commentary it's just weird to do to trans rep..

Kris can't be transfem because they use they/them pronouns, which are the pronouns we use to misgender you, you're not allowed to actually use them.

[whatdoinose]

Am I allowed to follow you if I'm a trans woman?? I'm pretty new to the community but from what I gather trans men and women don't tend to like eachother a lot and I'm very confused why and if this means I can't follow cool people like you now

Hi! Trans people have a lot of solidarity with each other, you are just seeing the small percent of people who are so obsessed with discourse it harms how they interact with other queers. They have their own internalized issues and ideologies they need to work out. Anyone can follow me.

[whatdoinose]

i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

[whatdoinose]

"Whaaa, whaaa I'm not dangerous to trans men I'm just a radfem who wants you to detransition and normalize violence in your communities!!!!"

Block this person, shes vile and a terf who calls us tim/tifs, and doesn't care about the real self defense of trans men or transmasc.

[whatdoinose]

A popular artist suddenly made a trans man comic, and the viewers are not getting it

Being against a trans man's transition because you think it's too boring is transphobic, actually.

[whatdoinose]

"Trans men of color have power over white trans women because they're men!"

[ID: A stock image of a black man holding a huge cup titled "white women's tears" /End of ID]

[whatdoinose]

Everyone who got annoyed at me over the cis woman who couldn't understand a man knowing what experiencing misogyny is like post is proving my point btw.

Everyone who had something to say about "do you want to be seen as a man or not" is proving my exact point that people cannot fully accept the notion of men who are not welcomed into the boys club of cis manhood. The notion of "Man" is entwined inextricably with Power, Control, if I am a man that must mean I wear The Boot because Man means Wearing The Boot. You want me to chose between my sense of self and my lived experiences because to you, a "real man" would not have had my experiences.

You people are incapable of understanding gender as an internal sense of self and not as a magic spell. You fail to progress your feminism past a no boys allowed sign hung on the door of a playhouse. You are deeply fucking unserious and it's frankly embarrassing.

There's a serious problem in progressive spaces wrt seeing people as entire people with flexible experiences and not just identities listed like Pokémon types. Be better.

[whatdoinose]

This is so weird to me? Yes, so sorry I supported the evidence of somebody using AI art, please put me on your harassment list. /s

Thinking that maybe this is where the recent harassment came from.. ANYWAYS, if you looked at the logic, reasoning, and evidence and didn't just go "wah wah! this person is a minority so you can't critique them!" , you wouldn't be making these harassment lists.

[whatdoinose]

This is so weird to me? Yes, so sorry I supported the evidence of somebody using AI art, please put me on your harassment list. /s

Thinking that maybe this is where the recent harassment came from.. ANYWAYS, if you looked at the logic, reasoning, and evidence and didn't just go "wah wah! this person is a minority so you can't critique them!" , you wouldn't be making these harassment lists.

[whatdoinose]

And remember, the people who ran me off, they were mostly #transrights we should all be making out stop dividing the community transmascs and cis women who chase after Trans women. Never forget who did this, never forget it was american supposed "leftists" who turned on a Trans woman as soon as she didn't believe her transphobic abuser's claims, after they called me a zoophile, pedophile, groomer (because as a person born in 2000 I am dating a person who is born in 2002), a person who saw me vent about being abused by my jewish father who held nazi beliefs called me a neo nazi, never forget that when I called a blonde blue eyed person white and asked them to not be racist towards my black boyfriend I was met with "I can't be racist I'm mixed raced latino" who later harassed me relentlessly for this, sending their terfy transmasc friends to gaslight me and make me feel like this was worth getting stuck on over. The people who cried about being anti racist, dismissing my black boyfriend's experience with racism, dismissing his experience with prejudice and calling him lazy and entitled for being disabled and having benefits (which they disclosed to his stalkers). The people who are blonde with blue eyes, calling me aryan to legitimizs their harassment as some kind of justified fight against nazism. The people who police a black man for dating a white person and dictating that he should not be allowed to do that and demanding he breaks up with me over this. Never forget those are the people who wear the banner of progressive leftism. The people who completely covered up Trans woman's rape and harassed another Trans woman for even speaking to her and asking what happened. Never forget those people are responsible for my departure. Never forget the people who did this to me are conservative in every aspect other than the veneer. Never forget that during Trans genocide they chose to focus on a mentally ill Trans woman who lashed out at their abuser and ridicule her until she wanted to kill herself. Never forget they focused their whole time to doing all that. Never forget that the performance of progress is more important to Americans than listening to people they claim to protect.

Never forget any of this.