whatifsvv

[whatifsvv]

HAHAHAHHAHA

dustin: starts hanging out with eddie, an older male figure in his life

steve:

[whatifsvv]

<33333

Music videos by Catfish and The Bottlemen

[whatifsvv]

I wanna make you my business. I wanna tolerate drunk you, honey.

[whatifsvv]

do you have the time to listen

cause i needed someone to listen. to ask me if im doing good, if im still hanging in there. 

cause im there again. on the edge waiting for someone to save me.or i dont know, i guess i dont wanna be save anymore. hearing my every heart beat. and thinking you can stop. you can rest i dont think anyone would mind

there is this thing happening to me. when my mind went blank. like i do wanna see pictures and memories and happy memories but it goes back to being blank. it feels so heavy but its blank, its empty but heavy at the same time. where you wanted everything to stop. i cant save my self. and everytime i try and reach out it keeps on drowning me over and over again. and i became 10 times deeper on where i was. and i’ll try and seek help and keep it all together but it comes back to being blank. i keep telling myself theres nothing wrong with you, maybe you’re just sad today. but its not just today, you feel it everytime. you feel emptiness and heaviness at the same time and you wanted to stop. i wanted to stop. pls let me stop everything.

[whatifsvv]

What if #3

What if you never heal?

There is so much things that can easily hurt us, and sometimes those easy things becomes the hardest thing to recover. The fact that the small things can trigger us and bring us back to every little traumatic things we’ve experience. And we don’t notice but little by little this smallest things became our limitations. We limit ourselves to the things we can take and endure, we limit ourselves to the most comforting things because we’re afraid to trigger those feelings again. The scariest part is knowing you’re afraid of the things you didn’t do to yourself, you’re afraid that these things will stay with you for the rest of your life.

What if you never heal? What if you stay to your comfort zone cause you’re always afraid to wake the devil in you. What if those little things became our biggest thing and the only thing that will define you is your trauma. What if you never heal?

[whatifsvv]

What if #2

What if you don’t really love them?

Love is scary isn’t? To fall for someone who is a stranger to you months ago or years ago... To get all the exciting feelings with a stranger and start seeing yourself in the future with just a stranger. Isn’t scary that falling in love is so easy you don’t even realize it. But what if  its not love, what if its more about the exciting things, the rush and the exciting conversations? What if its just a glimpse of crazy moments that makes you think you’re in love with them... Isn’t that scary as well; And sad that after all the exciting things suddenly you’re just not ready for the real things. 

What if you don’t really love them? And you made them think you’re ready for everything with them? What if you’re not really capable of being deeply in love with them? 

[whatifsvv]

What If #1

What if everything you wished for wasn’t really what you wanted?

The thing about wishing, praying or manifesting something is you will never know if the outcomes are good. And oh god I’m so tired of hearing that everything will fall into their places. Cause number one; what if they don’t? What if you stay exactly the same in a different and strange country. What if everything you had was good but you just have to have more and now there is nothing more. Isn’t scary praying for something that you will regret sooner than you think? And you can’t complain because you wanted this, you said you needed this right?

So what if you’re praying for the wrong things? What if this doesn’t get any better and you don’t get to bring back everything you had.