whatisleftnow

[whatisleftnow]

[whatisleftnow]

[whatisleftnow]

This^^ 1000% this.

I have come around on the idea of a Lokius or a Sylki relationship. But only theoritacally in some kind of fanfiction because there is potential for either to work if, AND ONLY IF, real work is done to fill in the flaws in either relationship.

But as those relationships stand in the cannon of the show, they are both very toxic.

I've see fanart of both pairings and of the trio, that actually do more to temp me to accept a relationship then the entire season. And that is sad.

It's actually kind of hilarious that the writers accidentally came up with a textbook co-dependent relationship between two alternate versions of the same person and instead of framing it as wrong and making it obvious it's unhealthy, they tried to convince viewers that it was about love.

They even had Mobius ask Loki "Do you really think you deserve to be alone?" which is a pretty good question actually because it is right there in the viewers face that Loki thinks he loves Sylvie because he's convinced no one will ever love him, he's certain he's unworthy and unlovable, entirely incapable of having anything worth loving, therefore he retreats to himself - or in this case, another variant of himself.

(By the way there's also an indication of rebelliousness in this whole thing I think because Loki believes no one will ever love him so by convincing himself he can love Sylvie he's proving everyone else wrong: "I'm unlovable? Watch me love a variant of myself.")

But the situation is so dire and he's so desperate for any kind of affection that he takes Sylvie's indifference towards him and doesn't mind it at all. He accepts it fully. When people say Loki likes that she behaves that way I can't help but laugh. This man is so deprived of affection that he knows what she does, believe me, he sees the indifference, he sees the contempt, he just chooses to ignore it because if he sets any kind of boundary that's it, she's gone.

The best example of this is ep6 and Sylvie's "why aren't we seeing this the same way?" which can be translated into "you're supposed to follow me and everything I do, why are you speaking your mind now?."

And so the writers could have expanded on that question Mobius asks and tried to help Loki (and the audience) realize that it was co-dependency all along. That Loki needs external validation, that he feels completely hollow without it, that the belief that he's unlovable is a lie. And the excuse that the series is only 6-episodes long doesn't hold any ground because they could have done all this in 7 minutes.

But they were clearly not interested in him and so they focused only on the most simplistic of takes just so that Marvel could have their 6-episode trailer for Phase 4, then they accidentally wrote a pretty damn good co-dependent relationship but framed it as healthy and romantic.

And still to this day they don't see their mistake. It's hilarious.

[whatisleftnow]

What If..? Episode 9 Spoilers

Spoiler Warning.

Uhhh. So it's kinda implied that at the end of episode 9 The Watcher drops Natasha off in the universe from episode 3. I mean it could be another universe but... Loki's in the same outfit as episode 3. Loki mentions Fury's "replacement Avengers". We see Captain America and Captain Marvel fighting the Asgardian forces. (Who are the two we specifically see being recruited at the end of episode 3.)

Yes?

So where the hell did Loki get the scepter containing the mind stone?

Like how did no one catch that glaring grand-canyon-sized plot hole?

In episode 3 Loki is using Gungnir, why would he switch to using the mind stone. And how did he get it away from Thanos?

In the original timeline Loki got the scepter from Thanos after falling from the bifrost, being tortured for a year, then being sent to Earth by Thanos.

Are we supposed to believe that in this universe Thanos never had the mind stone? Then why is it in a scepter identical to the one Thanos gave Loki? That's a big jump to say yes the mind stone ended up in a scepter but it never ended up with Thanos.

What if...? was just such a hot mess. There was some good content, but just so many plot holes that even the multiverse can't explain away.

I don't know. Don't mind me. These are just the things that pop into my brain.

[whatisleftnow]

Loki's Playlist #3 "I Guess I'm In Love", a Loki musical.

Pairing: Loki x Reader (I tried to keep everything I added gender neutral but some of the lyrics do contain gender specific pronouns)

Summary: Your relationship started with a spell, but magic can only go so far. Because love is an action, and it requires all parties to put in the work.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warning: Cursing. Fighting (not physically). Break up. Drinking. Angst, all the angst. Angst but with a fluff bomb ending.

What to expect: This one is more of a hybrid between a playlist and a fic. Think of it like an underdeveloped musical, me trying to create an actual story through the songs. It's made up almost entirely of the lyrics from the songs. With notes added to shape the story. It's up to you if you want to listen to the songs while you read. Or just listen to the songs and imagine your own narrative. Or you can just read the lyrics I've selected as a story on their own.

A/N: [Bold text] is the song lyrics.

-Youtube Playlist - | - Masterlist -

You and Loki had been nearly inseparable since you first met. At first you literally were inseparable, a mix up with a tracking spell meant you two couldn't be more than 5ft apart without being in excruciating pain. Although the spell had eventually been lifted, that time together had bonded you two. But no matter how strong a bond, somethings are meant to be broken.

You care so deeply about Loki, but you worry that he doesn't return those feelings. He's never cruel to you, but he's only really affectionate in private. You want to shout it to the world, tell everyone your feelings for Loki. But it feels like Loki wants to hide you away.

Hide by Leanna Firestone - [Your Thoughts]

[We go out, but always leave early. Make me duck down in your passenger seat. And I'll never tell you how much it hurts me. But it does.

You like me, as long as its secret. You'll hold me if no one else sees it. And I'm starting to think that it's me that's the fool.

Cause I'd love to love you, In the light. And I hate that you make me hide. We live in shadows and silence. You'll kiss me as long as I'm quiet. But still, I check if your eyelids are closеd.

I hate that when you talk to me, It's usually hushed, And I always have to guess whether or not, You're in love. I don't know how much longer, I can hold on, But I'd rather have you this way, than no way at all.

And I hate How easily you can make me cry. Don't wanna be the girl, You only love at night. How I hate that you make me, Hide.]

The truth is Loki does care. He thinks he might even love you. But Loki is "Loki, god of trauma and insecurities" after all. And despite everything you'd been through together, everything you'd done together, despite everything he felt for you. Loki couldn't figure out how to tell you those three stupid words. And that's how Loki found himself pacing the floor of his room. Thinking:

8 Letters by Why Don't We - [Loki's Thoughts]

[You know me the best. You know my worst, see me hurt, but you don't judge. That, right there is the scariest feeling. Opening and closing up again. I've been hurt so I don't trust.

I've said those words before but it was a lie. And you deserve to hear them a thousand times. If all it is is eight letters. Why is it so hard to say?

Why do I pull you close? And then ask you for space.

Isn't it amazing how almost every line on our hands align? When your hand's in mine. It's like I'm whole again, isn't that a sign? I should speak my mind. When I close my eyes. It's you there in my mind. Why am I in my own way?

If all it is is eight letters. Why is it so hard to say?]

It's almost funny to Loki how three little words, just eight simple letters can throw off a god. So Loki laughs, it's a stunted laugh, without real humor. But it comes out at just the moment when you walk into his room.

Fix It To Break It by Clinton Kane - [Your Thoughts]

[Remember that time I made you laugh. I would give in to hear that sound again. Am I just fixing it just to break it? Am I just hanging on, just so we can drown?

I've been pulling you close, but pushing me further. I've been holding it back, that I see you different. And I've been hurting myself to keep you from leaving. I've been wonderin' whether we'll last the season. Wish we could've made this work. But now I know that I need more.

Afraid that I'll lose you in the crowd. I wish that I was a priority. Then you walked out on me with a straight look on your face. And said you've had enough. But then you came back in to try to fix it. But never helping me when I start to drown.

Is it worth the pain if I should stick around? But now I know that I need more. And I need more. And I need more. And I need more. And I need more, I need more]

"Loki, I need more."

Loki's heart breaks a little hearing you say you need more. He reaches out to hold you to him.

Different Eyes by Marco Tamimi - [Loki's Thoughts]

[I never thought I'd hear those words from your tongue. Never thought your touch could feel so rough. It seems like you're done. And I'm not enough. So do you want me? Do you want me like you always did? Do you want my body like when we first kissed? It's just you look at me strange. Like you don't know my name.

If you're seeing me through different eyes. Won't you tell me? 'Cause my heart is tired. And I can't take another silent night. I know you're seeing me through different eyes. And if you would try then I would try.

I've tried to tell you the truth. I've tried but then I can't pull through. So I've kept it inside. Locked in my mind. And I wish I could read your mind. But I'm scared of what I'd find. When you tell me we're alright. Is that the truth?

I know you're seeing me. You're seeing me through different eyes]

You pull away.

"Loki, you have to see that something has changed between us."

"What did you finally realize I'm not some project for you to fix?"

"Loki, that's crap and you know it. But this…, this is exactly the problem. I try to talk to you about anything more than surface level feelings and push me out. You play at being an emotionless monster, because you're too scared to feel anything. You're afraid that emotions will make you weak. Well you don't have to worry about that anymore because I'm out. Ok, Loki, you hear me? I'm through being your emotional punching bag. It's over. We're over."

"Y/N?" Loki reaches for you.

"Don't touch me. You don't get to touch me anymore." With that you storm off, and out of Loki's life.

Sorry by Halsey - [Loki's Thoughts/ calling you]

[I've missed your calls for months it seems. Don't realise how mean I can be. 'Cause I can sometimes treat the people. That I love like jewelry. 'Cause I can change my mind each day. I didn't mean to try you on. But I still know your birthday. And your mother's favorite song.

So I'm sorry to my unknown lover. Sorry that I can't believe. That anybody ever really, Starts to fall in love with me. Sorry to my unknown lover. Sorry I could be so blind. Didn't mean to leave you, And all of the things that we had behind.

I run away when things are good. And never really understood. The way you laid your eyes on me. In ways that no one ever could. And so it seems I broke your heart. My ignorance has struck again. I failed to see it from the start. And tore you open 'til the end.

And I'm sorry to my unknown lover. Sorry that I can't believe, That anybody ever really, Starts to fall in love with me. And someone will love you. But someone isn't me]

You were so mad. How could he make this about him? You put your heart out on the line, and he acts like a voicemail saying "sorry I'm unlovable" will make it all better? Well to hell with him.

R.I.F.P. by Mothica - [Your Thoughts]

[To hell with you. So long and goodnight. Traded darkness for the light. 'Cause everything I had I gave to you. I'd be lying if I had to say I miss you. When I'm with you I feel numb. I still taste you on my tongue. But now I tell myself I've had enough.

Rest in fucking peace to all my problems. 'Cause reaching for the bottle couldn't solve them. If the damage has been done. I can't be the only one. I just tell myself I've had enough.

Bittersweet relief. Without you next to me. Funny how it all just disappears. When you're not here. Faking self-control. Like everyone I know. Funny how they all just sing along. Your siren song.

Since you went away. I haven't needed saving. They say I'm being brave. 'Cause I'm good without you lately.]

Roses Are Red by Jon Caryl - [Loki's Thoughts]

[Roses are red, violets are blue. I don't sleep at night 'cause I'm thinking of you. Alone with my thoughts, trapped in this bed. Know I'd give the world just to see you again.

I'll believe it when I see it. 'Cause you said you're moving on. Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. 'Cause we both know you're not that strong. 'Cause slamming doors and crying out. I thought it'd get you back 'til now.

And your imperfections perfectly drawn up. But I was a fool to think you were in love. It seems you've lost your love for me. Even though just two weeks ago you were happy. It seems you've lost your sympathy. But I guess it's my fault cause I let you slip from me. I didn't believe you'd ever leave me. So please, just listen to me now. 

So roses are red, violets are blue, It's all in my head, no matter what I do]

Loki finally decides to go outside, and he is not prepared to see you with someone else. But you look happy. And isn't that what he always wanted for you? For you to be happy?

Chicken Tendies by Clinton Kane - [Loki's Thoughts]

[I saw someone who looks just like you. In the back seat, with her hand out the sunroof. I swear it was the dress that I gave you. And I wonder, is your favorite color still blue? You're full of love and wild and free. Chasing every dream and possibility. You're more than I could ever be.

I hope he treats you better than I ever could. 'Cause you deserve the world times two, and our simple Sunday afternoons. I hope he's home for you even though I had to lose you. For you to find who fills your heart. Even if I'm not the one you choose.

I thought I caught a glimpse of me and you. In our kitchen, where I cooked your favorite food. And if I'm being honest, I was a fool.

I hope he's home for you even though I had to lose you. For you to find who fills your heart. Even if I'm not the one you choose. And I hope he's home for you. And our Sunday afternoons]

Why did Loki have to send you that stupid letter? Telling you that he hoped you were at home with your new lover. That he was ok with whatever you choose as long as you were happy.

You were happy. And even if you weren't it was none of his business. Your new partner was gentle and sweet and everything Loki wasn't. You had no reason to be unhappy. Right?

Another Love by Tom Odell - [Your Thoughts]

[I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care. But it's so cold and I don't know where. I brought you daffodils in a pretty string. But they won't flower like they did last spring. And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright. I'm just so tired to share my nights. I wanna cry and I wanna love. But all my tears have been used up. On another love, another love.

And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight But my hand's been broken, one too many times. So I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude. Words they always win, but I know I'll lose. And I'd sing a song, that'd be just ours. But I sang 'em all to another heart.

And I wanna cry, I wanna learn to love. But all my tears have been used up. On another love, another love.]

That stupid man, that stupid beautiful, dangerous, other wordly, man. You couldn't get him off your mind. His emerald eyes, that reminded you of your obsession with gemstones as a child. His raven hair, that was so soft. His jaw line, sharp enough to kill. Everyone knew those details. But there was also the little scar just below his hairline. The way that his left ear was just that bit higher than his right. And every other little perfect imperfection that all came together to form the whole ethereal god.

Every time you shut your eyes, his face was all you saw. Drinking hadn't helped. Yet. But, maybe if you drank a little more? Or maybe if you called him, and gave him a piece of your mind?

remember that night? by Sara Kayes - [Loki's Thoughts]

[The day after you said goodbye. All I did was lay in bed and cry. But after one month, I started to move on. And after two, I felt alright. Then three months in, you were off my mind. And month four and five, I was living my life. I was better and didn't have to try. Not to think of you, 'til you reached out. And said, "Remember that night?" We went for a drive, 2:30 in the morning. I kissed you, it was pouring. We held each other tight before the night was over. You looked over your shoulder.

The day after you had reached out, I was broken for the second time around. I prayed on the third day that I would be okay. That I'd forget you were ever mine. Oh, I don't think you realize. How long I had to fight to be living my life. To get better and never have to try. Not to think of you until you reached out. And said, "Remember that night?"]

You'd been an absolute fool calling Loki. Again. What in the world had you been thinking? You hadn't been thinking that was the problem. You'd been drinking instead of thinking.

But now in the light of another day you wish desperately that you were still drunk. Your heart is aching, and the one person in the world you want to go to for comfort is the one person you shouldn't. You know you've hurt him, know you didn't deserve his comfort. But somehow you've still ended up at his front door.

"Loki? I didn't know where else to go."

You Stupid Bitch by girl in red - [Loki's Thoughts]

[You let the wrong people love you. But you don't see that, do you? When you cry and need my comfort. I drop everything to come over.

Don't bite your lip or grit your teeth. Just count to ten and try to breathe.

You stupid bitch, can't you see. The perfect one for you is me? You don't know what you deserve. And that's why you end up hurt. But you never listen. Take my advice as criticism. Then make the worst decisions.

You stupid bitch, can't you see, The perfect one for you is me?]

Out of Love With You by Avery Lynch - [This time, you speak this out loud:]

[I don't know what I'm doing. You know I'm really confused. I haven't slept haven't eaten in a day or two. Something switched in me you know. A change I never thought would come. And I don't know what went wrong. With me and you.But I didn't mean to fall out of love with you. And I didn't dream in a million years this is what I'd do.

There's no good way to explain it. And I hate that I did this to you. It took a while to admit it. Because for years I thought that it was only you. Pushed it away I tried to let it go. But these things never seem to go away do they?

If I could stay you know I would. You never did nothing wrong. You're exactly who you always were. This is my fault. But I didn't mean to fall out of love with you.]

How could you still not see how Loki felt?

I Guess I'm In Love by Clinton Kane - [Loki's Thoughts]

[Oh, I'm obsessed. With the way your head is layin' on my chest. How you love the things I hate about myself. That no one knows, but with you, I see hope again.

Oh, I'm a mess. When I overthink the little things in my head. You seem to always help me catch my breath. But then I lose it again. When I look at you, that's the end. And why do I get so nervous when I look into your eyes?

Butterflies can't stop me fallin' for you. And darlin', this is more than anything I felt before. You're everything that I want, but I didn't think I'd find. Someone who is worth the wait of all the years of my heartbreak. But I know now I found the one I love. And I love the way. You can never find the right things to say.

And you can't sit still an hour in the day. I'm so in love, let's run away because us is enough. And why do I get so nervous when I look into your eyes? Good or bad, I know it's worth it, But I know now I found the one I love.]

"Fuck it, Y/N! I love you. Is that what you want me to say?"

"Yes! But only if you mean it."

"Good because I do love you! I love you so much it hurts. Sometimes I wonder if the spell ever really lifted because being away from you still feels like someone has taken a hot knife and cut out a piece of my soul. I can't breathe, I can't think. I can't stand how small it all makes me feel. Your love is a poison I don't ever want to stop taking."

Loki pulls you into him, slanting his lips over yours he kisses you with all he's worth. With all the pain of all the kisses he didn't get to give you over all those stupid months. He rests his forehead against your own and continues more softly.

"Without you I'm broken. But with you, fuck, I'm so much more than I even could have been. I've done so many terrible unforgivable things, but you look at me and see beyond that. You see the man that I am at my core, and not only that. You reach into me, burn down my walls, and pull out that better man kicking and screaming from the wreckage."

"How can you say all that to me after everything I put you through?"

"Because I love you. And I hope, I pray, that you love me too. And love like that can withstand anything, even our own stupidity."

"Oh Loki of course I love you!"

You can't help but reach your hands into Loki's hair and pull. Forcing his lips back down onto your own. Once the kiss breaks, you bury your face in Loki's neck. Unable to look him in the eyes yet.

"Loki, I can't tell you the exact moment I fell in love with you. Honestly there isn't a single moment, it's been a journey. But I do love you desperately. Love is not a feeling. It's actions, choices, sacrifices. And I was a complete idiot for missing all the ways you showed me you loved me even without saying those words."

Loki pulls back and looks at you. "You're not the idiot, I was but not anymore. If you'll let me, I'd like to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you."

"I'd like that very much."

And once again you were inseparable, not because of magic. But because each morning when you woke up, you both chose to put in the work to love each other.

[whatisleftnow]

Loki's Playlist #2 Love Songs

I enjoyed making my previous Loki's Playlist so much that I decided to make another one. This one is specifically songs that make me think of Loki falling in/ being in love with the reader.

A playlist to listen to while imagining someone telling you all the ways they love you. No plots, just love. Although I did try to put the songs in an order so it feels like they're falling more and more in love with you.

Meet Me At Our Spot

THE ANXIETY, WILLOW, Tyler Cole

idfc

blackbear

Oceans

Seafret

Someone To You

BANNERS

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop

Landon Piggy

Space Girl (feat. Chloe Moriondo)

Frances Forever

Moon

Jonah Kagen

Electricity

Dua Lipa

Adore You

Harry Styles

The Way I Am

Ingrid Michaelson

I hope you're in love with these love songs.

[whatisleftnow]

Mobius: You weren’t born to be king, Loki.

Loki: but I was tho. my whole backstory is literally that I was born to be the king of Jotunheim but odin stole me. I thought u said u watched my whole life. did u just fast forward thru it? that’s what u did isn’t it?

Mobius: ….

Loki: also even if u skipped the whole bit with my heritage being revealed and the mess that resulted from that ur statement is still stupid bc surely u saw the bit where I was the YOUNGER SIBLING!!!! do u not know how royal succession works? are you embarrassed right now? bc im embarrassed rn. I am literally embarrassed for u. do u want 2 maybe come up with a new attempt at a devastating revelation and try again bc im not trying 2 be judgmental but that sucked. 

[whatisleftnow]

One example of the MCU doing this at least relatively well (at least in my opinion) is Dr. Strange. Showing Steven dealing with the life shattering physical and emotional trauma of his injuries. Seeing him give up all the wealth he'd earned to try and regain the life he had before. Clinging to the title of doctor, because that's what he felt made him worthy. Fighting to use magic to regain his past self. And finally realizing that what made him special was his desire to help others, and that didn't have to come in the form of medicine.

Obviously it had flaws, like any story does, but for me it really is the best example of what the MCU is capable of. In terms of trauma story telling. And it's something that made me hopeful going into other projects, like Loki. They could have done so much better, because they have done so much better.

But that's just my opinion.

I think one of the biggest reasons why we have so many deeply traumatized characters (not just Loki I'm talking literally anyone on the Avengers.... fuck anyone in the MCU) who has some aspect of trauma being a core element of their character (Loki's neglect, Tony's PTSD and alcoholism, etc) with very little payoff or exploration of their trauma and the struggle they face with it, is because people don't actually want to be faced with the horrors of dealing with trauma and mental illness. Even though they should, because it's a horror that a large majority of the population face every day.

It's because while we are in an age that is definitely more aware and knowledgeable of mental illnesses compared to the past, society as a whole is still very much in the early stages of truly understanding the struggle people with mental illnesses face. Any mental illness.

And by understand I mean genuinely listening to them and internalizing sympathetically the hardships that they go through.

The place that we are at right now in society is, we acknowledge that mental illnesses are real and that they are a problem (for the most part, you still get those assholes who think things like depression and adhd don't exist, but thankfully they are dwindling in numbers) and we try and spread as much information as possible, but it is all very surface level.

Because people don't want to be constantly reminded about how dark things can get. They want things to remain positive and optimistic, and while positivity and optimism are important, the type of positivity and optimism that is most prevalent in our society and on social media generally leans more towards toxic positivity.

Beyond shallow messages that usually are some variation of "You can do it!" nobody actually wants to hear about your struggles.

And I get it, people have their own shit to deal with, but it's very much like putting a band-aid on an open, gaping wound.

But part of the job of storytelling is that 1. It's meant to make the audience think and reexamine the world they thought they knew, even if that means making them uncomfortable because we only really start to analyze things if we're out of our comfort zone; and 2. Fiction is a mirror we hold up to society to reveal it's ugliest parts. People don't want to think about their heroes dealing with their trauma the way normal people would, they don't want to be reminded that these things exist. But if we keep ignoring them instead of confronting them head on they are not going to just go away. If anything they're only going to get worse.

Dealing with trauma and mental illnesses is an ugly, daily battle with your own mind. It's not Heroic, not in the sterilized Hollywood version anyway. It is messy and uncomfortable and often times does not make you stronger.

At least it doesn't feel that way.

If you are six weeks deep into a depression episode where you can barely get out of bed, can't eat, either sleep too much or not at all, are at risk of losing your job because you don't have the energy to leave the apartment, haven't showered or done laundry in a week, you do not feel strong, and you are not thinking "I am a hero for dealing with this!"

No. You feel like shit!

And if you genuinely want to display the message of "Dealing with these issues is the hardest thing in the world and anyone who does struggle with them on a daily basis is a hero and is strong" then YOU HAVE TO SHOW THE UGLY PARTS TOO. You can't just allude to them, you need to blast that shit in 4k so that it gets across to even the thickest skull in the audience how terrible dealing with these things can be.

Because then a few things will happen. 1. The stakes will be higher, and the reward sweeter and more satisfying, when your hero does manage to learn how to deal with their issues (don't just give them a shitty, toxic "friend" who tortured them the day before and say "Yay! They're happy now! Everything's fine!".......*cough* Loki show *cough*) and 2. The audience will leave with a better understanding of how much of a struggle it is to deal with these issues, and so when they then encounter someone IRL (because, I hate to break it to you, people like Loki and Tony do exist in real life, people who have been through emotional neglect and trauma and abuse, people who have PTSD and struggle with alcoholism and cover it up with snark and attitude, they do exist they just don't get to have awesome powers and billions of dollars to deal with it!) who does struggle with these problems, they now have a reference they can mentally and emotionally connect with in order to better understand and sympathize with someone going through something similar, even if they themselves have not struggles with that exact problem.

That is how you fucking learn sympathy from Fiction

Anyways, sorry, long rant (longer than I was intending but I just kept going because I have things to say and I make it everyone else's problem), and obviously what I say in this post may not apply to every single person on the planet who struggles with mental illness, but these are just my 2-cents.

Also if someone who does struggle with mental illness and trauma sees one of their heroes on screen struggling the same way they do, it does help. Because it gives them hope, and it makes them feel like they're not alone, and that feeling is more powerful than I think a lot of people realize.

Show the ugly parts of trauma, Hollywood, you fucking COWARDS.

[whatisleftnow]

Concept Art.

[whatisleftnow]

Lokitty

I was inspired by this post by @high-functioning-lokipath to create my own version of a Lokitty fic. Definitely not a new idea, but isn't that the fun of fanfiction? Taking something you know and love and making it your own.

Pairing: Loki x gn!Reader

Summary: You've taken a job at the Avengers Compound. When your conversation about your homesickness is overhead, comfort comes from an unlikely furry friend.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warning: Fluff, literally and figuratively. A touch of angst. Homesickness.

What to expect: My favorite brand of "stay with me" which seems to be all I want to write lately. And you know what I'm ok with that. We could all use some more soft boi Loki cuddles in our lives.

As a kid, everyone thought you were crazy for obsessing over blades. Your parents worried about you when the interest didn't fade as you got older. But it was never about violence, you just thought blades were beautiful and elegant. That's what drew you to Loki, he was everything you loved about blades made flesh. He was beautiful and elegant, sharp and deadly. On one hand it seemed Loki was equally drawn to you. Helping you clean weapons or just sitting in your forge watching you work. Discussing uses for different weapons, analysing fighting styles and comparing your favorites from each of your own personal collections. The two of you would talk for hours about blades, but it never went beyond that. Never discussing anything personal. Not that you didn't want to share, but you never knew how to move the conversations with him in that direction. You knew Loki had had a difficult life, so discussing your relatively happy childhood seemed somehow cruel. Instead you stuck to all things blades.

The last few months felt unreal. You had been so excited when you'd gotten the call. Edged weapons specialist for the Avengers team, it was your dream job. It would be your responsibility to handle anything to do with edged weapons. (Like daggers, swords, katanas, kukris, chakram, etc.) Everything from purchasing and maintaining, to training all the team members in the uses of various bladed weapons. Tony's explosive weapons tech is all good and well, but it's important to have options. Fury wanted to ensure all team members could defend themselves if their other skills faltered.

At first you were worried about moving all the way across the country to live in the Avengers Compound. But you understood how important the job was. And you knew that living in the Compound made the most sense. The Avengers did not operate on a normal 9 to 5 weekday schedule, so you needed to be available anytime. Your lessons needed to fit in between their other training and missions. Whatever time the team needed to leave for a mission, they needed weapons ready. And whenever they returned the weapons needed cleaning and repair. Despite his protests that he could just buy more blades, Tony had built you your own forge for any of the more changing repairs.

Despite not joining them on the missions, the team had welcomed you as one of their own. Including you at meal times, trips down to New York City, parties, game nights, and your personal favorite movie nights. Tonight was one of those movie nights. Everyone wrapped in blankets, scattered on couches and chairs. If the crowd got too big, like it had tonight, some even sprawled out on the floor. Plenty of popcorn, there was even a movie theater style popcorn machine. Plus snacks and drinks galore.

It was Wanda's turn to choose the movie. Tony owned nearly every movie in existence and subscribed to nearly every service, so the possibilities were endless. But everyone figured she'd either go for an old sitcom or a Disney movie.

"I choose The Aristocats" Wanda finally called out.

"Isn't that a kids movie?" Tony grumbled from where he sat cuddled up with Pepper.

Pepper elbowed him, "hush Tony. It's an American classic."

"Fine, Jarvis play Aristocats"

Back at home Aristocats was one of your favorite movies to watch with your family. The cats reminded you of your own cat, Phillip. Before moving into the Compound, you had never been away from your hometown for longer than a week at a time. But with the whirlwind of new responsibilities, the first several months had already flown by. Now sitting here watching the happy cats on the screen, you were struck by such a strong feeling of homesickness you had to leave the room.

Seeing you flee, Wanda followed you into the kitchen.

"Hey, Y/N. What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I just miss my family. And home. It's stupid but I think I miss Phillip the most. My bed feels so empty without him there to cuddle."

Rather loudly Wanda asks "your CAT Phillip?"

"Is something wrong Wanda, you know Phillip is my cat. Why did you say cat so loudly?"

"Just, I just realized that it must be hard for you to watch a movie about cats, when you're missing your cat. Sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh don't worry. You didn't know. Heck I didn't even realize how homesick I was until now."

"Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I think I'm just going to go back to my room for the night."

You hug Wanda, and leave the kitchen, making it back to your room just before the floodgates of tears start pouring out. You flop down onto your bed, and bury your face in your pillows. After a while you feel a gentle nudge on your arm. You sit up to see a small black cat looking up at you.

"Oh hello there. Where did you come from?"

The cat simply bumps it's head up against your hand. You pet it, scratching behind its ears.

"You are a very pretty kitty." It doesn't have a collar, so you wonder if it snuck in through one of the big hanger doors.

"You remind me of my kitty back home." You suck in a sob threatening to hit, hiccuping instead.

The cat jumps into your lap, kneading your leg, and rubbing its head against your arm for more pets. You giggle and the cat begins to purr. As you pet the cat and listen to its soft purrs you feel yourself relaxing. Eventually you fall asleep with the cat cuddled up against your side.

As the first rays of sunshine hits your face you regret not turning off your wake up call. You'd set it for JARVIS to open your curtains in the morning. Knowing that normally the warm bright sunlight was a peaceful way to wake up. Alarm clocks just made you grumpy in the morning.

Groggy and a bit dehydrated from crying the night before, you slowly opened your eyes. It took you far longer than it should have to notice the arm wrapped around your waist. And clearly you were still partly asleep because your first instinct was not to look at the face of the man who the arm belonged to. Instead you picked up the arm and looked under it searching for the small cat. Afraid that this human shaped object, that had still not registered as a person, had crushed the cat in the night.

Satisfied that the kitty was not under the arm, you set it down and got up to look under the bed.

"Kitty? Here kitty, kitty, kitty?"

From your spot crawling on the floor looking for the cat, you heard a raspy voice call "why is it so bright in here? It's too early to be this bright in here."

"Loki?

"Oh, Y/N? What brings you to my…," Loki looked down from the bed "uh, floor?"

"This is my floor."

Loki looks around and realizes that it is in fact your room.

"I suppose it is. Then I should ask what are you doing on your floor?"

"I'm looking for the little black cat that was in here last night. And really I should be the one asking you what you're doing in my bed?"

"Ah well that's the thing. Last night when I came here I was the little black cat. So ta-da, you've found me!" Loki puts his hands up like he's done a magic trick.

"What do you mean you were the black cat? How is that even possible?"

"You know that I have shape shifting powers. Well that includes the ability to change into the form of animals."

"Like an animorph?"

"A what?"

"Nevermind. Why did you change into a cat?"

"Last night I heard you talking to Wanda about missing your home. So I thought having a cat to pet might make you feel better. Since I don't have a way to bring your cat here, I made myself into one. I must have slipped back into my Asgardian form while I slept."

"Oh", tears started to prick the corners of your eyes again.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll go."

"Wait, you didn't upset me. That was really sweet, these are happy tears. Why did you do it?"

"I heard you were missing your cat and I wanted to comfort you."

"You do make a very cute cat. But you could have just comforted me as yourself."

"What could I have done as myself? I'm not really what anyone would call comforting."

"That's ridiculous, you're very comforting to me."

Now it was Loki's turn to hold back tears, and you quickly scramble up to sit next to him. Your hand reaches up without thinking and brushes away a tear. Loki holds your hand against his check, unwilling to break the touch.

"That's nice of you to say but I know you think I'm just some kind of brute."

"Loki, what in the world would make you think that?"

"When you talk with the others, you talk about everything including your past. But with me, you only ever talk about blades. Don't get me wrong I could talk daggers with you for the rest of eternity and not get bored, but… oh nevermind. Forget I said anything." Loki drops your hand, looking down at his lap. He picks at the inside of his palm, avoiding your gaze.

You reach your hand back up and lift his chin so he's looking at you. "Oh, Loki. I'm so sorry, I feel so stupid. I didn't realize you felt that way."

"Y/N. It's fine. Just, really forget I said something." Loki tries to look away but you hold tight. The look in Loki's eyes is pleading, "Let's go down to breakfast, the others are going to wonder where you are." Loki's eyes look at the door but he makes no move to get up.

"No Loki, it's not fine. Please listen." You release your grip on Loki so you can reach over and grab a dagger off your nightstand. Flipping the dagger around in your hand, you start to speak. "For as long as I can remember I have always loved blades. At the same time I've never been especially good with people. Blades have always been there for me, people not so much. Whenever I did something extra embarrassing I could practice throwing daggers until I forget my words. Or if someone bullied me, or made me angry I could go into the forge and picture the steel as their face. And yeah I've gotten better with people, I've had to. Moving into this compound full of extroverts has forced me to be more open then sometimes I really liked to be.

From the moment I met you, something felt different. Loki, you remind me so much of a finely crafted dagger. Lean, sharp, dangerous, elegant, and comforting. So deeply comforting. Everytime you help clean weapons with me or just sit in the forge with me, I feel a weight lifting off of my chest. I didn't want to mess that up." You look up at Loki and wait for his response.

"Wow, I don't know what to say."

You pause for a moment, "Blades are my passion," you hold up the dagger, "blades are my life and I share them with you" setting the dagger in Loki's hand, "because I want to share my passions with you. I want to share my life with you." Worried you've gone too far, you look into Loki's eyes expecting to see regret or pity. But instead Loki looks back with hope before tilting his head and leaning down to kiss you. It's soft and gentle and everything you'd ever wanted a kiss from Loki to be.

"I feel like I've missed so much. I just thought that you never talked about your past with me because you didn't trust me."

"Oh god no, of course not. I trust you with my life. I was just afraid to share my past with you because I knew your life has been hard. I didn't want to make you feel bad about your history."

"Y/N. That is the sweetest and most unnecessary thing I've ever heard. I want to listen to every single story you have to tell me. Your positive experiences are not my loss. Your happiness makes me nothing but happy."

Again your lips find each other, planting sloppy joyful kisses. Breaking away from the kisses you smile at each other, stupid happy smiles.

"This was clearly Wanda's idea. Right?"

"Not entirely, well yes actually entirely. How did you know?"

"Choosing Aristocats. Then she practically screamed cat, cat, cat, cat while we were in the kitchen."

"Ehehe, yeah. Last week she saw me moping about waiting for you to finish training. She pried it out of me how much I cared for, but that I thought you didn't feel the same way. So she came up with this plan and clearly she is a genius."

"Remind me later to send her a thank you note. For now, more cuddles." You crawl back to your spot in bed dragging Loki with you.

"What about breakfast?"

"Breakfast's not for another hour. Normally I get in an early morning workout, but today feels like a good day to sleep in."

"I knew it was too early to be this bright" Loki grumbles under his breath as cuddles closer to you.

A few weeks later

"Alright Y/N are you ready to go?" Waiting for you to get ready, Loki looks over the assortment of things on top of your dresser. Charging cords, half empty coffee mugs, notebooks, and random weapons. "Hey, is that my dagger? I've been looking for that one all week."

"Ta-da. You found it" you call as you finish tying your shoe and stand up. Walking over to wrap your arms around Loki, distracting him as you place the dagger back on your dresser.

"Aren't normal partners just supposed to steal your clothes?"

"First of all I'm anything but normal. And second, none of what you brought from Asgard would be considered steal-able clothing. That makes you the partner that steals clothes." You gesture towards your old university hoodie that Loki was currently wearing. "Anyway, where are we going?"

"The animal shelter, we're getting you a cat. And not to worry, I've approved it with Tony."

"I don't need a cat, I have you, remember?" You look up at him and wink.

"Darling as much as I love cuddling with you as a cat. I much prefer cuddling you in this form."

"What, you don't like my pets?" You reach up and rub your fingers through his hair.

He preens into your touch, and nearly purrs before stopping himself. "This is the problem. You've had me transform into a cat every day this week. I'm starting to think like a cat."

"Is that such a bad thing? What can you do that can't be done as a cat?"

"So many things. For example I can't do this as a cat." Loki rests his hand on your lower back, dips you down and kisses you.

"Mmm. You're right, that might be worth it. But maybe you should try that one more time just to be sure."

Once you two finally stop kissing you head to the animal shelter. Where you find two cats ready to adopt.

Arms wrapped around you from behind, with his head resting on top of yours, Loki asked "What should we call them?"

"I'm going to name them after two of my favorite things." Pointing to the tortoise shell patterned cat, "Dagger."

Pointing at the black cat Loki asked "Let me guess, Sword?"

"No, her name is Lokitty."

You could feel the smile on Loki's face where it rested on the top of your head.

"Purrrfect." Loki purrs in your ear.

-----------------------&----------------------

A/N: I wrote that this character was an "edgeded weapons specialist". And honestly I completely took that term from "Forged in Fire", I don't know what exactly that would mean in the world of the Avengers. Mostly anything to do with it edged weapons. *shrugs*

Also bonus points to anyone who can name whose cats I based the tortoise shell and black kitties after.

[whatisleftnow]

JOTUN LOKI WHAT IF...? - EPISODE 7

[whatisleftnow]

Loki laufeyson Prince of jotunheim in What if…? episode 7

[whatisleftnow]

I love the implications that MCU Loki is tiny not because he's a runt, but because he grow up on Asgard.

[whatisleftnow]

[time theatre]

Mobius: so boo hoo santa wasn't real and you decided to destroy a planet to feel better

Loki: i was lied to about my race which was one everyone around me had been raised to hate specifically

Mobius: and then you caused further pain and suffering and death because of your daddy issues :/

Loki: I don't JUST have daddy issues!

Loki: I ALSO have mommy issues!

Mobius: and then you decided to lead an invasion and suck during it so bad bc someone touched you with their ugly hand and you didn't like it

Loki: weird flex to put aside torture like that but ok

Mobius: and THEN you killed your mother accidentally-on-purpose

Loki: the stairs to the left don't lead anywhere near her room tho

Mobius: and then you FAKED your DEATH because you're HORRIBLE

Loki: right... because there's no way getting impaled could kill me that'd be ridiculous

Mobius: you ditched odin on earth without his memories which made him weak and vulnerable and die

Loki: he still had his magic or else he wouldn't've broken out of the spell do you even know how magic works

Mobius: here's a clip of Thor saying you faked your death and killed Odin so we know it's true

Loki: Thor's been untrustworthy since day 1 when he thought the throne was about glory and he got everyone to commit treason for fun bc he was angy

Mobius: also you die at Thanos' hand

Loki: did I just give away the Tesseract??? Unrealistic. Blocked and reported.

[whatisleftnow]

When all of this:

is “resolved” by this:

You know there is something wrong.

[whatisleftnow]

Loki's Playlist

You could say my brain is "a bit" Loki drunk, so every song I listen to makes me think of Loki in some kind of way. Since I do not have the time to write a full fic for every song, I thought I'd create this playlist. Here is a selection of songs I think Loki might listen to or could be about Loki. And a few sentences about the scenarios I dreamt up listening to them. Most of them are reader insert ideas, because they sparked from my own daydreams.

Note: These are not all the same Loki/au. Some songs could work together, but they are not meant to be a single story/relationship. I imagined these for Loki, but you could totally insert your favorite character instead.

Let me know if you like this because I 100% have more songs and more scenarios rumbling around in my head. If you have a specific song you want me to create a scenario for, leave it in the comments. And if you write a full fic based on any of these songs tag me; I'd love to read them.

----------------------&-----------------------

"Line Without a Hook" by Ricky Montgomery

Loki is stressing out because he is in love with you and he doesn't know how to handle it. Usually Loki insecurities, ie. wondering about being good enough. Loki is worrying about a trip to the lake, where Loki's aloofness made you think he wasn't interested. Loki regrets not admitting his feelings right then and there.

Possibly (Avenger Loki X Avenger Y/N) or (Asgardian Prince Loki X Royal Y/N)

"To Build A Home (feat. Patrick Watson)" by The Cinematic Orchestra

Sad boi Loki. After the death of you, his mortal love, Loki looks back on the life you built together.

Any universe where Loki outlives his partner. Could be mortal or an Asgardian/ immortal Y/N who happened to die before Loki.

Also I just think this is a really pretty song.

"Icicles" by The Scary Jokes

Loki is stuck at some kind of party/event where he must suffer through the looks and whispers. Because even after all the good he's done, he is still feared and never to be trusted. But Loki chooses to bite his tongue and simply imagine what he'd like to do to those who judge him.

Most likely a Stark party with a classic Loki is sent to Earth to atone for his sins.

"Strangers" (feat. Lauren Jauregui) by Halsey

Loki is upset because you just told him "we're not lovers". Maybe Loki was too scared to tell you his feelings, so you left.

Or he just wants to keep your relationship private, and lies when asked about his feelings for you. So later you throw it back at him.

Or you've been dating but just had a fight and Loki's in the "dog house". Maybe one of his pranks went wrong?

Any Loki. My mind tends to jump to Avenger Loki. It could even be connected to the time loop scene in the Loki series for you Sifki fans.

"Make You Mine" by PUBLIC

Post break up Loki is pleading for you to come back so he can "make you mine" again.

I think it's that use of "Darlin" that really connects this song to Loki for me. I'm a sucker for any story where Loki calls his s/o darling.

"All I Want" by Kodaline

Another break up song. This would be more once Loki has realized you're not coming back. So Loki decides to move on, but not really because he wants someone "just like you". And is that really moving on?

The part that reminds me the most of Loki is: "Cause you brought out the best of me. A part of me I'd never seen. You took my soul wiped it clean. Our love was made for movie screens"

"Hi I Miss You" by Retrograded

After a period of "will they? won't they?", you and Loki kissed. But you have to leave town before you and Loki can discuss your feelings. While you're gone, Loki gets drunk and calls to tell you he misses you.

Definitely picturing Avenger Loki X Avenger Y/N, and you're on a mission and Loki has found Tony's liquor stash back at the tower.

"Heavenly Side" by ILLENIUM & Matt Maeson

Loki is telling you that he is self destructive and understands if you want to leave him. He's desperately trying to be a better person, so that you'll want him. But he knows it's going to take time to "kill" his old self, and bring out his "heavenly side". So he offers you the chance to leave now, even if it breaks his heart.

"Bad Idea!" By girl in red

Loki regretting a hook up. Maybe it was with the wrong person and they've caught feelings. Or maybe it was the right person but they wanted it to be more and regret it being only a random hook up and not more.

I imagine this with a female presenting Loki.

Honestly I could imagine a scenario of a female Loki x reader for most songs from girl in red. All of their songs are great storytelling.

Also here are a few extras that don't have album art because I reached the max number of images:

"Talk to Me" by Cavetown

The reader telling Loki is ok, you can talk to me.

Just the obvious. Doesn't even need a scenario.

"Daddy Issues" by The Neighborhood

Måneskin (just yes. the whole band, yes.)

"Guys My Age" by Hey Violet

I put this in the extras because I want to preface it by saying in stories with an age difference, the younger person needs to be of consenting age. I don't care if Loki is relatively young for an Asgardian, his partner needs to be over 19 in human years

This one is a little more, uh, spicy.

Loki comes over to comfort you after you break up with your boyfriend. Loki is surprised but not displeased when you throw yourself at him. Loki has been alive long enough, he has the experience to know how to treat a lover.

Friends-to-lovers Loki x reader.

This also works well for Steve or Bucky.

If you made it all the way through that, thank you and congrats. You got a bit of a dive into my taste in music and the kind of Loki daydreams that run through my mind all day. Do I need therapy for my Loki addiction? Probably. But honestly I've needed therapy long before I'd heard of Loki so it's nothing new.

Hope you enjoy. Please make sure to let me know if you want more songs for the playlist. Or if you have songs you'd add.

[whatisleftnow]

There's something that bothers me about the whole "don't like it, don't watch it 😏😏😏" attitude surrounding the Loki Series. In normal circumstances, I'd say yeah, valid, but the issue in this specific case is that this show was specifically, deceptively marketed directly to us, the people who dislike it.

The teaser trailers included footage that wasn't even included in the show (Loki having won the battle of NY, Loki on the Asgardian throne), and never even hinted at any of the other characters and OCs that they threw in there. I hate to pull this card, but as a film student, one of the big things you learn is that editing is everything. Someone edited those trailers specifically to show Loki causing mayhem and being himself, as we know him according to where he should be on the timeline (post-avengers, slightly pre-T:DW). This show was marketed as "following the adventures of Loki! He escaped with the Tesseract, remember?!! Who knows what that might bring!! What will the God of Mischief do with an infinite stone??? Watch this show to find out!!"

And in literally the first scene, the tessersct was confiscated and didn't matter at all after one or two brief moments in the very first episode.

The DB Cooper scene was edited and marketed and picked apart and rebuilt to imply that the version of Loki who escaped with the Tesseract would make amends with his brother and incorporate his Asgardian friends and allies into the adventures that we would follow in the show.

This series was marketed to those of us who wanted to follow the mischievous adventures of Loki as he wreaks havoc with the stolen Infinity Stone.

So when we sat down to watch it, we were genuinely excited. It didn't come from a place of hate. We didn't think to ourselves "HA! I bet this will be so horrible! I can't WAIT to post mean things on Twitter about it!"

We were thinking "Finally! We get some good Loki content, where he's not a side character or villain! The focus is going to be purely on him and his adventures!"

Only for him to be immediately overpowered and made useless in the first ten minutes. But the hate didn't start there. We still held out hope.

"This is just the first episode, after all," we thought. "This is just setting things up. Surely the next episode will show him more and let him live up to more of his potential."

And then we watched him turn into a joke. We watched the focus slowly shift away from him to a plethora of OCs who stole the spotlight. And still, we watched, not out of hatred, but out of the dim hope that things would turn around, that he would come into his own and tale control of the show with his name on it.

But that never happened, and now we're left to analyze and vent and discuss with each other about all that could have been.

Only to have all of our arguments dismissed with a snide side remark from people who didn't care that Loki was sidelined. That he was treated like a joke. That he kissed himself, but she's a lady so it's okay. That he wasn't the character we know and love. That he wasn't the main character of his own show.

Our opinions, our criticism, our analysis, none of it matters. Because "if you don't like it, then don't watch it."

I'm not sorry for being hopefully optimistic that maybe things would look up for my favorite character, especially when that is what was promised from even before it aired.