whoscrewedup-blog

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○  kylo ren from “star wars”

it's been a while when since the premiere of „star wars: the force awakens”. so, after all this time, we can see the movie in kind of a cold way. it was clear that everyone would be comparing kylo ren to lord vader. but in comparison to vader's backstory, the new chracter looks just disappointingly weak and childish. we understand that the screenwriters wanted to make kylo obsessed with his grandfather and it's fine, but the way they did it is just annoying to watch. he's immature and awfully insecure. there's no mystery about his fascination with darth vader. everything was served on a plate and it's not a very interesting dish (unlike the fantastic rey, for example). what we've seen in young ben solo is only his thirst for power and his child-like, but cruel behavior. the creators surely could make a way more complex character. we've heard some arguments that kylo's immaturity shows the beauty of this character, but the thing is – kylo ren is boring and annoying. we want a character we could analyze and try hard to figure out (*cough* rey *cough*). we really do hope that in the following movies kylo will have some character development, but it's gonna be difficult when so much about him has already been revealed. he's not intimidating, as vader or darth maul were. the creators tried to humanize the villain, and it was a lousy move. we've also heard people claim kylo's weakness is intentional and it drives him to the dark side, just like anakin in the prequels, but we're not bying that. anakin was much more torn between his urges and he wasn't stupid or childish, but full of rage. he had an aim, and having an interesting goal is what always makes fictional characters attractive (unless you like slow cinema with confused characters troubled by existential crisis). kylo seems to misunderstand everything anakin as vader stood for, and he apparently refuses to acknowledge the fact that vader have always had good deep inside him, and that he died redeemed. after all, we love „the force awakens for rey, and finn, and poe, and leia, and bb8, and literally everyone else, and we want rey to kick kylo's butt really bad in „the last jedi”.

[whoscrewedup-blog]

○ jar jar binks from "star wars"

that's definitely not an unpopular opinion, since jar jar binks is the most hated character in the series, and often even referred to as the most hated fictional character in history of film. we wouldn't go THAT far, but jar jar is, in fact, awful. he was first introduced in episode one - "the phantom menace", and he basically ruined it the moment he appeared on screen. the way he speaks and behaves has been interpreted as racist and generally offensive multiple times. the prequels deal with some dark and heavy political topics, and jar jar was supposed to make it all a little bit less heavy. but yeah, that didn't work. the hatred towards that character that exploded after "the phantom menace" literally made george lucas cut his screentime in the next movies to an absolute minimum, thank the maker! we have no idea what on earth was going through lucas' head when he thought jar jar binks would be a great idea. and to think he wanted to make this character play an important role in the series? *shivers* the only explanation to this would be that crazy theory that we might or might not absolutely believe to be true, that jar jar binks is actually a powerful sith lord in disguise, on a mission to destroy the galaxy (if you haven't heard of it, please do yourself a favor and google it, but take into consideration that it will change you as a person). if that's not the case, then jar jar binks remains a mystery to us, because including a character so unnecessary is just weird when you think about george lucas' genius in general.

[whoscrewedup-blog]

○ ross geller from “friends”

“friends” is a nice sitcom (although quite a bit problematic if you watch it now), we like almost everyone from the main cast. almost. ross geller (played by david schwimmer) just ruins everything. he's beyond annoying in every single episode, his childish behavior is completely insufferable. he just loooves whining. he hurts people around him while pretending to be their friend. we genuinely wished every character we liked to never be „loved” by ross geller. he's extremely jealous, even if the person isn't even in a relationship with him. he tried to destroy his ex-wife's  relationship with her girlfirend susan and sabotage every single relationship rachel had with another man. he demonstrates his homophobia and sexism on every occasion he gets. remember when he got mad at rachel for hiring a male nanny? yeah. super cringe-y. in carol's (his ex-wife) case, he tried to prove he would be a better partner and parent for their kid just because he's a man and he just loves humiliating both carol and susan for their sexual orientation. he's possessive when it comes to women. he also genuinely believes he's better than everyone else, and he loves showing that to other characters. everything has to be about him, and if it's not – don't worry, he'll make it be! the worst part is that he always thinks he's the innocent one and blames other people for all of his failures. he claimes rachel was the love of his life, but he actually made a pros and cons list of being with her, and wrote her weakness was the fact that she was a waitress, or that she cared about her looks. what the hell, ross? go be a bastard somewhere else.

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○ amy pond from “doctor who”

look, we know most of the fans of „doctor who” praise amy pond as the greatest companion that's even been on this show. but that's just not us. amy pond was actually an awfully written character and we cannot understand what do all of you saw in her. first thing's first, we HATE steven moffat. we were ecstatic when they announced the current season of the show will be his last one. and the writing is all his fault. if you're not aware, steven moffat is a well-known misogynist, who believes all men think pregnant women are disgusting (source). after some backlash because of his utterly sexist remarks a few years ago, he kind of tried to redeem himself. he tried a bit with clara, and now he's trying a bit harder with bill. but that doesn't change the fact that amy was just terrible. a few years ago some students published the results of their research about the show, and there was some fuss about it. it was the bechdel test (if you don't know what that is, google it; it basically let's you find out how sexist a particular film or tv show is) and the results were not at all in favor of moffat's writing. they comapred characters from the times when david t. russell was the showrunner of the new „doctor who” - rose tyler, martha jones and donna noble, with moffat's characters - amy pond and river song. you can see the results here. so basically amy pond was just there for the doctor, to talk about the doctor to other people, and to have absolutely no personal life other than travelling with the doctor or waiting for the doctor to come back to her. she had a husband, rory, and she treated him like he was a pile of trash. she was just plain mean to him, always praising the doctor and saying how the doctor is so much better than he was. she even tried to kiss the doctor the night before her wedding. what the hell, amy?! she couldn't go on a single minute without mentioning the doctor. what kind of life did she have besides her endeavors with the time lord? well, she had a husband. she met the doctor when she was a little girl, but he left, so she waited for him her entire life. like, literally. she was literally called „the girl who waited” on the show. she waited for a man who might have as well not be real at all, just a little girl's dream. when the doctor came back into her life when she was an adult, they met when she was a stripper. then there was this brief moment in her life when she stopped travelling with the doctor, broke up with rory and had a very short career as a model. and that was it, it ended as fast as it started. no ambition, no life plans, nothing. her only female friend who was acknowledged in the show turned out to be her own daughter, who travelled in time, and who was also born only to kill a male character (she literally says that in one episode, so it's not just us being angry feminists making things up), but she failed, so she ended up marrying him. we can't believe this is an actual storyline in one of our ultimate favorite tv shows. amy's entire life was defined by a man, whether it was rory or the doctor. she had nothing if she didn't have a man in her life, and that's just upsetting.

[whoscrewedup-blog]

○ stella carlin from “orange is the new black”

we're writing about a character from “orange is the new black” again. this time we've got stella carlin on our tumblr grill to roast. when season 3 was about to drop on netflix, many people were excited about ruby rose, a genderfluid actor/actress, being in it. we're personally not fully convinced that she is „sex on legs”, how many fans of the show liked to claim, but we do understand the hype. her androgynous appearance can be very appealing, especially in the lesbian community, which is a big group of watchers of the show. in our opinion though, her character is a great opportunity completely wasted. There aren't many portrayals of androgyny in today's media, and when there are – it's a conventionally attractive person, who was assigned female at birth, white, thin and fully able-bodied. stella has turned out colorless and boring. in comparision with alex, who was her rival in the game for piper's heart (or more like for what's inside her pants, but we're not getting into that. we really don't understand why? RUN ALEX RUN!). We feel like stella's been written into the script only to destroy's piper and alex's relationship (which was never in good condition anyway) and to give piper even more opportunities to show how evil to the core she is. the funny thing is, there is ZERO chemistry between piper and stella. it was painfully awkward to watch them together on screen, honestly. the show in general has had many great and interesting episodic characters that made it easy for us to get emotionally involved with (lolly, for example, whose short stay at litchfield penitentiary made us absolutely fall in love with her), so we've been wondering why it went so wrong with stella. we believe it was partially because of the badly written storyline, and partially it was ruby rose's acting's fault. the writers have been trying too hard to find new things for piper to screw up (because, ugh, she's the main character of the show) and they're kind of running out of compelling ideas. and when it comes to ruby rose, mabye she's just better at modelling than acting, and she should just stick to that.

[whoscrewedup-blog]

○ joffrey baratheron from “game of thrones”

this one doesn't exactly follow our pattern, because joffrey baratheon, while being the absolute worst, was actually brilliantly written and the actor who portrayed him (jack gleeson) did an amazing job. let's face it, there is absolutely no way on earth anyone who has seen „game of thrones” could like joffrey (if you do, please seek help, you've got a problem). we're even sure there are people out there who haven't seen one episode of the show nor have read the "a song of ice an fire” book series by george r. r. martin and hate joffrey. he was a Villain with the capital V, probably one of the best (or worst?) that have ever been shown on television. if you look up the definition of the word „sadist” in a dictionary, we're pretty sure you'll find a photo of joffrey's evil face in there. he loved hurting people, both physically and mentally. he even took pride in it. he was a genius in that field. joffrey felt no remorse, we actually doubt he felt anything at all. he was a spoiled child, who believed everyone must do as he wishes, and if they don't obey him, they must get either executed or punished in some other horrible way. what is even more disturbing about him, he was only sixteen years old when the show started (and TWELVE in the books!). he was a textbook example of an absolute tyrant. everyone watching the show couldn't wait for him to die, and when it finally happened, the entire fanbase celebrated (i still remember the moment the entire internet completely blew up, and the memes with him choking still appear here and there). the thing is, we kind of miss joffrey. the show has a lot of villains, but he was the worst of them all. violence is basically in every scene in „game of thrones”, so it's not like the show became less cruel without him. he was such a good villain that his twisted behavior was very interesting to watch. george r. r. martin has an incredible imagination, he described every character in the book with such detail that the creators of the show have a lot of material to work with. and kudos to jack gleeson, who's probably the sweetest person on the planet (please do yourself a favor and watch any interview with him at all if you haven't yet), for managing to convince us all that joffrey was evil, and was probably just competing with satan himself to win the game for a throne other than the iron one. you know, the one in hell, where he belongs.

[whoscrewedup-blog]

○ selma jezkova from “dancer in the dark”

i know björk's fans are gonna kill me and hate me for the rest of my life. if you're a fan, don't read it for your own sake, because i would like to live on for a while (season 5 of „orphan black” premieres june 10th, okay?). so, i don't like björk and her music, i get rapidly annoyed when i watch her somewere on screen or listen to her voice, don't judge me. i've really tried to get into her stuff many times. her pompous music and strange vocals are totally not for me. every single note in her songs makes my spirit want to leave my body and never come back. anyway, i want to write about her acting in „dancer in the dark” (2000), directed by lars von trier. The director and his main actress are a combination really hard to swallow for me. tt's the only movie that i've tried to watch FOUR TIMES and every time i've given up in the middle of it. the main character – selma jezkova is reckless, naive, pretentious, problematic, dramatic, lofty, incapable, unlucky and has literally nothing that can make her seem authentic. I can go on and on with the negative epithets. there's absolutely nothing i could like or admire about her. i'm unable to even feel sorry for her, because selma just goes and ruins her own and everyone else's lives. i can't watch it and still be sane, honestly. my feelings towards the character and the movie in general may be what the director intended to achieve in the viewer's reaction, but that's not very appealing to me.

[whoscrewedup-blog]

○ piper chapman from “orange is the new black”

there is no way on earth to convince us piper chapman is not the most annoying fictional character that has ever been created. she’s (unfortunately) the main character on a generally great netflix show - "orange is the new black". it has its flaws, sure, but it also has many strengths that other tv shows still fail to even acknowledge at all (REPRESENTATION OF MINORITIES!!!). how is piper the worst? we could write an entire book about that, but we’ll try to condense it as much as we can. she’s the most self-centered, unempathetic and whiny character we’ve ever encountered. when she opens her mouth, it’s either to talk about herself, her silly problems she exaggerates to no end or to simply manipulate anyone around her, including the people she claims she loves. she’s a white rich educated woman and instead of using her privilege to make the wolrd (or the prison she’s in, at least) a better place, she wears it proudly and waves it in the faces of the many women of color living around her. she’s quite intelligent, so it’s not like she’s not aware of what she’s doing. she knows she’s benefitting from her privilege, and she uses that to her advantage. she keeps making TERRIBLE decisions and then blames it on whoever comes across, especially her ex-lover, alex, who she also cheated on with a new girl. she tries to be tough and the moment she gets exposed, she ALWAYS plays the victim. she keeps making promises she’ll become a better person and just when you kind of start believing that, she’s back to being the regular evil to the core piper. last, but not least, she basically started the “white lives matter” campaign and even thought she knew very well it was awful and dangerous, she did absolutely nothing to stop it. honestly, we could go on and on and on with the list of reasons why piper chapman is the worst and doesn’t deserve anything good. every single character on “oitnb” is a million times more interesting than her, and we just don’t understand why she’s the main one. couldn’t the creators of the show pull a “game of thrones” and kill the main character off? we wouldn’t be upset AT ALL. please do it.

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○ jyn erso from “rogue one”

we’re not gonna lie, we didn't have many expectations of “rogue one”, and we were kind of surprised. we had a great time watching it. however, the main character jyn erso, played by felicity jones, was really annoying. and we mean REALLY. the general idea for her was probably quite interesting, the character followed star wars' pattern of having strong and awesome female characters, but the way she was actually played in the movie was terrible. first of all, jones looked like a terrified bunny all the time while simultaneously doing some pretty dirty work for the rebel alliance. what kind of idiot could ever be convinced by that? and jyn's job WAS to convince people to do risky stuff. don't take us wrong, a woman doesn't have to have “i know how to fight” written all over her face to demand to be taken seriously. our point is, felicity jones can't act and her only facial expression is the one we described. moreover, her voice was so weak, that when jones tried to yell it seemed just ridiculous. unfortunetely, we assume she got the lead in the film because she has a white pretty girly face and nothing else. after watching “the force awakens” with amazing rey (played by just as amazing daisy ridley) and of course leia organa (played by the late and awfully missed carrie fisher), who's showed us girls can be both princesses and generals at the same time, we've wanted another strong, independent, female character in the star wars universe (and in cinema in general). jyn had a lot of potential and we do see that her character wasn't badly written, just badly cast. indeed, jyn erso can kick some butts, but the other characters in the movie took all the light away from her. but like the rolling stones sang: “you can't always get what you want”.

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○ ginny weasley from “harry potter”

we mean the movie version, obviously. as “harry potter” fans it was absolutely painful to watch such a strong female character be shown as nothing else but a love interest for the main character of the series. in j.k. rowling's books, ginny is an independent, confident and fierce young woman, who had survived growing up with six brothers and being possessed by lord voldemort himself at the age of eleven. she was also physically attractive and had dated many boys before she started a relationship with harry. she was amazing at qudditch. in the books, ginny is the perfect role model for young girls. in the films? she is shown as a painfully awkward girl who stops breathing the moment someone mentions harry's name, who doesn't show any emotion other than silent shock, and she quite literally fixes harry's shoelaces, which is probably the most awkward scene in history of film. we cringe even thinking about it, ugh. their relationship started completely out of nowhere – harry has a crush on cho in “order of the phoenix”, and then he just moves on to his best friend's sister without a word in “half-blood prince”. ginny doesn't get much screen time, and when she does, she doesn't speak much. mostly she just looks at harry. oh, and they had a kiss scene, which was probably the most awkward kiss scene in history of film. the “harry potter” films managed to ruin lots of things from the books, but we would say ginny is in the top 3. why did j.k. rowling let them flatten out such a wonderful character? we'll never know. let's take a minute of silence for the REAL ginny weasley. we know you exist, and we love you.