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and just when you think you’re at your absolute lowest a blonde motherfucker comes along and makes everything so much worse

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"Treasure Planet" reference

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I'm thinking about how Alastor's health probably wasn't great when he was alive and how it would have followed him into death.

Even putting aside the fact that he most likely grew up very poor and faced a multitude of health problems directly related to that, medicine and nutrition in general weren't nearly as good as they are today. Manufactures were basically free to adulterate their products with whatever shit they wanted, including literal poison, and over the counter medicine could be brutal - like, until the 20th century people still put heroin in cough syrup.

(I'm picturing Angel Dust rambling about drugs in Hell while Alastor looks at the wall with a thousand yard stare remembering the time he was given opium for stomach cramps.)

Anemia, a weakened immune system and organ damage are all possible consequences (among other things) and considering Hell is, you know, Hell... Alastor is probably stuck with them forever.

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the Correct(tm) RadioStatic dynamic is Alastor doesn’t want to date or be romantically involved with Vox, but he also doesn't want Vox to want anyone other than himself

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after a long day

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I've been thinking… Is it possible for Alastor to accept help? Thus the art was born. (closer shots below)

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terfs in the year 2025: waa waa two genders only

Christian theologians circa 1380: CHRIST'S PAIN ON THE CROSS WAS SYNONYMOUS WITH LABOUR AND THE BLOOD FROM HIS WOUND WAS EQUIVALENT TO BREASTMILK FOR HE AND GOD ARE BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER TO US ALL AMEN

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today? I will be whumping that fictional man. but tomorrow? I will also be whumping that fictional man

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Medwhump Day 8: Going into Shock

Hi, so I forgot to prep something and just typed this right before I'm going to bed. It might not be the greatest thing ever, but enjoy!

"Hold still, hold still," Came Charlie's frantic voice.

Strange, it sounded as if she were underwater. His head was swimming, and everything felt dulled and foggy.

Shock, you're going into shock, said something in the back of Alastor's head.

It took a moment to figure out what the reason for that was, but then he felt the pinching in his shoulder and remembered why.

The angelic spear. He had shoved Charlie out of the way of the angel, and the weapon had gone through his shoulder.

It hadn't hurt to terribly at first. The wound from Adam had been more painful. But then came the burning from the angelic spear, and everything had gone strange.

"Shit, oh dad."

Ah, Lucifer.

"I'm going to pull it out so I can heal the wound, keep him steady."

Wait, wouldn't that-

Hands pulled at the weapon, and the world went dark.

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Girls will see a beautiful twink and go, "Is anybody gonna sexualize and/or brutalize that?" and not wait for an answer.

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I want to see Alastor just overdo it sometime

he's worked too hard for too long - at the hotel, on his show, at whatever overlord business he gets up to, maybe he got in a fight as well - and his body just says No. aching all over too tired to move fully bedridden for at least three days

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"Alastor ignored them, pushed them down as his eyes locked onto the bed in the centre of the room, Lucifer nothing but a pale speck in the middle of an ocean of deepest red."

-This Butcher's Bill Won't Balance

a colouring page from @mothballmilkshake 's fic!

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being doomed by the narrative is cool and all but i like when a character is doomed just by being a fucking idiot. sorry that happened to you but it is entirely your own fault and you could have just chosen to not do all that

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As requested, I have examined my fondness for terrible characters, and I have concluded that I like them because they're terrible and I'm not sorry.

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Alastor Whump

After the fight with Adam

hazbin Hotel

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The “this character is cool I guess” to “I NEED THEM-” pipeline is real and true and I need to be put down

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IK you're more into stomach illness, but imagining Alastor trying to recover from the flu or some demon equivalent but the humid, hot air from the bayou portion of his room is just spiking his fever higher and higher. He is restless, exhausted, and his body is burning up. Of course he needs someone to care for him and pet his face with a nice cool cloth

NOOO ANON I LOVE FEVERS THEYRE ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS FOR SICKFICS !!! and you utilized them so extremely well here this is absolutely fantastic.....the hot air doing no favors and making him feel worse 😭😭💖

I love the idea that he's so out of it he doesn't even fully recognize who has managed to get into his room to help him...Niffty has alerted the others (she thought he was dead and freaked out) and they take turns looking after him, all very surprised that he doesn't make any comments or movements to scare anyone because the fever is that high😭😭🙏