why-does-nobody-expect

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I concur, it is hot out

Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

[why-does-nobody-expect]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[why-does-nobody-expect]

“women don’t have the capacity for misogyny” have you ever met a mother

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🤗 IS SUPPOSED TO BE A HUG??!!!?!!

I thought it was someone doing a excited wave

🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

[why-does-nobody-expect]

Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

[why-does-nobody-expect]

[why-does-nobody-expect]

Spent tonight at a local short film festival. One of the shorts was made by two 12 year olds in their backyard and it was the best short of the entire night

[why-does-nobody-expect]

i love my mom but sometimes its just like “I wanna use x but its broken and y is more suitable” and she spends her time fixing x. I dont want to disappoint or upset her, but i already planned to use y and that plan isnt necessarily changing.

[why-does-nobody-expect]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[why-does-nobody-expect]

"I know chatgpt is bad but you just don't really have any choice" you literally do. Don't use it. Have some moral backbone.

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call myself vegetarian when im actually scared of red meat

my partner might be onto something when she says you can disguise your pickiness and food sensitivity as an adult by calling yourself a “purist.” so instead of saying “the taste and texture of cooked raisins make me want to hmork,” you say “i’m actually kind of a cinnamon roll purist, i prefer just a classic cinnamon filling and a really good dough instead of something with a ton of random mix ins,” which takes you from who gave this four year old a bachelor degree to oh wow this guy is a pretentious asshole about more things than i even thought was possible

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[why-does-nobody-expect]

Popular Opinion

Mint Ice Cream and other mint flavored foods taste GREAT and y'all can’t change my mind

[why-does-nobody-expect]

oh no😥

im in your walls

Im gonna swallow u up

Like a giant duck

Cuz i am one

[why-does-nobody-expect]

I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.

[why-does-nobody-expect]

why did karens always try and pretend like they are the nicest people ever. “Its me again!!” like i dont dread their presence

anyway, work was okay today

[why-does-nobody-expect]

Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.