willonerdygoat - Tumblr blog

[willonerdygoat]

funny quote from snafu because we thought it was funny:

"HA! SKILL ISSUE!! Masz ciało!"

[English: HA! SKILL ISSUE!! You have a body!]

(context: talking about procrastination and adhd brain stuff)

[willonerdygoat]

Snafu: I'm just an imaginary friend with spunk

[willonerdygoat]

Snafu has started feeling a bit alterhuman about something other than glitchself, and obviously it's a being from a random webfic XD /lh /aff (curse words: spellcasting for fun and prophet)

SNAFU: There's just this really cool "spellthing"- a being made out of a bunch of spells that acts similarily to a person, but internally... who the fuck knows how it works :3

and like, i really like the way it talks about its own consciousness, and the idea of just thinking and being differently from how humans work but acting similar enough is just dshfsdlhdfsdflshl literally so me [insert sparkles emoji here]. And idk, i just want to embrace that more! Because like, I ain't human!!!!1 XP

WE NEED TO FIND QUOTES FROM IT AND POST THEM TO EXPLAIN THIS FEELING OF NON/ALTERHUMAN CONNECTION/SOLIDARITY/UNDERSTANDING

the one we remember is this:

main character: you're just a bunch of spells pretending to be a person spellthing: you're just a bunch of cells pretending to be a person

[PT: main character: you're just a bunch of spells pretending to be a person

spellthing: you're just a bunch of cells pretending to be a person]

like THAT is the vibe we want to bring to social interactions

[willonerdygoat]

Damn we completely forgot about switching/possession. Uhh so like negative progress has been made, we maxed our points into imposition XD

that feeling when you're both unsure of who's fronting and controlling the body, having a mildly panicked dialogue of "is it you?" "I don't knooow, no??"

So yeah we're starting to get the hang of switching/possession XD

[willonerdygoat]

We only ever use "we/us" pronouns when speaking about our plurality, because that's when there being 2 of us actually has any effect. Otherwise, when talking with others we're usually blended enough that we're functionally one.

I guess we only ever separate when not having our mind taken up with something else, (like socialisng), or when we're talking about us XD

[willonerdygoat]

Musings about labels, and what our plurality/medianship is like ^^

ughh we need to research more into daemonism and medianship and whatnot. Because likee we don't relate to a lot of common experiences of plurality- Snafu usually kind of just blends into Tomira (host) when not like thinking about being separate, and Snafu doesn't really inhabit the body to the same extent, prefering imposition + identifying with a very different body, and we're generally happy just presenting as Tomira. We're also not all that separate in terms of likes and dislikes, we generally want the same thing at any given time, like we want to do the same stuff (with exceptions for minor stuff like lightheartedly disagreeing on a couple songs, and also very disagreeing when it comes to knowingly making stupid decisions/feeling self-loathing)

So we feel more like singlety than plural systems

But also we don't relate to most median stuff we see, (albeit we haven't seen all that much), since like, we are very distinct.

And obviously not a daemon/daemian pair since that also involves a whole bunch of other stuff, but also Snafu doesn't really vibe with the way most daemons talk about themselves. But also, Snafu vibes with elements of daemonship that aren't present in other plural/median things, so something we need to find out about more.

I guess we need to delve into the tulpa communities that are more separate from the general plural community, maybe that'd be similar to us. Like Snafu was originally created as a tulpa, using a more "traditional" guide not really connected to the wider plural community (we just don't use the term anymore, because if some tibetan buddhists say it's cultural appropriation then I ain't gonna argue)

Also this makes talking about our experiences difficult, because we don't really know how to word them

And I suppose that that's why we don't refer to ourselves as a "system". We just don't feel like a system, our dynamic is very different to what a system usually describes

[willonerdygoat]

WE'RE SO STEALING THIS WE JUST DID THE BASIC DAYDREAMING/RP STUFF

Median culture is hearing your facets have karaoke every time you play music (please tell me this isn’t just us

We do this all the time we love doing silly little performances together in headspace when we listen to music

[willonerdygoat]

honestly it's kind of good that our interactions stay inside our head because we make such, such stupid jokes

[willonerdygoat]

why are people still following us occasionally, like we never post anything nowadays... (not annoyed/mad, just genuinely perplexed)

[willonerdygoat]

Hey do you know anywhere where we can learn more about paromancy/willomancy? We're trying to find resources but we don't know where to look

Sorry if this ask is unwanted, you're the only paromancy/willomancy blog we know ;-;

WE ALWAYS LOVE ASKS :DDD

ok I'm not the best one to answer this since I kind of winged my own paromancy, but I'LL TRY XD

First of all, in case you haven't already, try looking stuff up using tulpamancy terminology- there's just a lot more resources using those words, since paromancy/willomancy are quite recent and more niche.

I highly recommend this document, (i haven't read it all actually yet XD), but the 2/3rds I have are very good quality and have a lot of information!

There's a paromancy forum, buut it's extremely inactive at the moment. It has a link to a related discord server though, which might be more active!

There's also large enough tulpamancy forums I'm pretty sure, but don't know anything besides their existence

Also looking into communities on any social media you're on is helpful, and you can find more information through there!

Sorry we don't have more information, this is all we can think of at the moment without extensive googling

[willonerdygoat]

See, when we tried googling it in a variety of different ways things like OCD, schizophrenia and other negative experiences kept coming up. I JUST HAVE SILLY THOUGHTS THAT CAUSE ME ZERO DISTRESS XDDD

Apart from one reddit thread, where OP experiences something else than me but a few of the comments might be the same thing. So at least that lol

IS THIS SOMETHING THAT OTHERS EXPERIENCE??

you know when like you just have a thought drift into your mind that no one actually consciously felt as if they thought it? Like when you're tired or distracted or something and your brain goes on autopilot. When you're not thinking anything in particular but your brain needs there to be a constant stream of thought (we're verbal thinkers) so it just comes up with something random. Oh and it also uses the same kind of logic as dreams?

Recent examples that we remember:

"but if you try to avoid the mud, you will BECOME the mud" (i was trying to avoid mud while very tired on a school morning)

"The more people you murder, the more likely you are to be a murderer" (I don't even know lol)

Other thoughts/info/stuff about these:

-most of these thoughts tend to be in english. We think primarilly in polish, but actually use english more when communicating with others

-i asked some people irl if they also get these, and most of them don't really? So I'm assuming it might be connected to our paromancy/willomancy/tulpamancy/dæmonism. Since the just learned to let the brain think thoughts that aren't her own

-we only started noticing them more recently. So either they started recently, or what we think to be true- once we first started noticing them it became easier to notice them, similarily to how a lot of other things work.

-we'd have assumed it's just mild dissociation or something except those aren't thoughts one would normally think. None of them ever make any sense, just have a logical structure.

-the way they work reminds us of dreams, but also AIs? Especially the really early ones that just never made any sense. Though I guess brains are always kind of just thinking random stuff, they just usually are good at making you think you're a singular, definite, autonomous entity thinking those thoughts.

[willonerdygoat]

IS THIS SOMETHING THAT OTHERS EXPERIENCE??

you know when like you just have a thought drift into your mind that no one actually consciously felt as if they thought it? Like when you're tired or distracted or something and your brain goes on autopilot. When you're not thinking anything in particular but your brain needs there to be a constant stream of thought (we're verbal thinkers) so it just comes up with something random. Oh and it also uses the same kind of logic as dreams?

Recent examples that we remember:

"but if you try to avoid the mud, you will BECOME the mud" (i was trying to avoid mud while very tired on a school morning)

"The more people you murder, the more likely you are to be a murderer" (I don't even know lol)

Other thoughts/info/stuff about these:

-most of these thoughts tend to be in english. We think primarilly in polish, but actually use english more when communicating with others

-i asked some people irl if they also get these, and most of them don't really? So I'm assuming it might be connected to our paromancy/willomancy/tulpamancy/dæmonism. Since the just learned to let the brain think thoughts that aren't her own

-we only started noticing them more recently. So either they started recently, or what we think to be true- once we first started noticing them it became easier to notice them, similarily to how a lot of other things work.

-we'd have assumed it's just mild dissociation or something except those aren't thoughts one would normally think. None of them ever make any sense, just have a logical structure.

-the way they work reminds us of dreams, but also AIs? Especially the really early ones that just never made any sense. Though I guess brains are always kind of just thinking random stuff, they just usually are good at making you think you're a singular, definite, autonomous entity thinking those thoughts.

[willonerdygoat]

also uhh life update, the median label probably suits us better than plural, since we're content with this state where we're blended most of the time

[willonerdygoat]

hey! i dont know much about willogenic systems. it seems similar to maladaptive daydreaming, could you explain the difference? im confused.

(we're just random internet dudes so take my words with a grain of salt obviously! no research is going into this lol, and i'm by no way an authority on this subject, don't let my mildly formal tone fool you XD)

Daydreaming and willogenic systems are definitely connected, but they do have crucial differences.

In short, the point of making a willogenic system is to have multiple beings/consciousnesses in one mind that AREN'T controlled by the one who created them. Usually in the community they're considered conscious, sentient, sapient and the like, the same as any singlet's (someone with only the experience of one consciousness in their mind) consciousness

Maladaptive daydreaming however, is more about creating an imaginary world that the creator can interact with. As far as I'm aware, the daydreamer usually has a good deal of control over that imaginary world. Sometimes they may have imaginary characters in that world, but they are consciously controlled and not considered conscious/sentient/sapient.

Maladaptive daydreaming also usually has to be maladaptive (bad coping mechanism), though i am aware that the term is often used as a term for any immersive daydreaming whether positive or negative. Willogenic systems are nearly always positive- i'm sure they can be negative, but I don't hear of that much.

So a list of differences:

WILLOGENIC SYSTEM -multiple autonomous beings in one body/mind -sentient/sapient/conscious -members of a system usually treated as equal -considered "real" -goal is to have other beings live in your head

DAYDREAMING -whole imaginary world -daydreamer has control over other characters -characters aren't autonomous -the daydreams aren't considered "real" -goal is to have experiences in an imaginary world

There's definitely a lot of overlap though, especially seeing as there's a lot of systems created by daydreaming! And as with anything, the boundaries are blurry and unclear

This was just my quick ramblings, so it's full of generalisations and over-simplifications, and I wouldn't be surprised if I had made some wrong assumptions, so if you're still interested I recommend researching both things separately :)

Thanks for the ask! :D

(if anyone reading this thinks i got something wrong, please please let me know!!!)

[willonerdygoat]

Try daemonism before tulpamancy

*pats the seat next to me* Come here and take a listen real quick.

If you are considering creating a headmate to help with

Loneliness

Depression

Stress

Life issues

Anything else related to support...

You'd be better off finding your daemon. Why? Because daemons are typically built for this; this is their specialty. They exist already as a part of you! They've lived your life, seen your struggles, and understand who you are and where you are coming from. They feel everything you feel, see everything you do, and know everything about you. They know what you need.

Another benefit? They can be their own unique individual while still remaining intrinsically tied to you, your life, and your well-being without the risk of being incompatible or your self-interest not aligning. Daemons are a part of you, so they go with the flow of our life without wanting major control or influence. Two sides to the same coin. A feather attached to the wing...

Another nice thing about daemons is when you aren't interacting they merge right back into you. They continue to exist just as they did prior to separation and will continue to be there until you call again. The less you interact the rustier the connection becomes, but you don't risk losing them. They may come back with new personalities or names if a long enough time has passed (because *everyone* changes with time, daemons are no exception) but they are still your daemon.

They still are there wanting the best for you. Wanting you to succeed, to thrive, to survive. They are our built-in support systems. Before creating and hoping to influence a headmate to be the answer, look into meeting your daemon first. See if they can provide what you need. Besides, it's often a far easier process than creating a fully separate headmate from scratch (in my opinion, at least).

Never heard of daemons? Check out Daemonism 101

[willonerdygoat]

Tulpa Tip #7

You know how sometimes you throw a party and the people you invite invite their friends too? Or sometimes, people hear about the party on their own and invite themselves?

This chapter deals with two distinct scenarios: tulpas invited by other tulpas, and headmates that form on their own after you've created a tulpa.

Imagine your head is the party and your tulpa is the invited guest. Then, your tulpa misses somebody and starts either trying to invite them by themself or begging you to do it nonstop until you do. *Cough cough Rudolph cough cough*

Fortunately, when this happened in our case it was a pretty easy transition for us to make and it went well, but that's not always the case. System changes can be distressing for everyone involved and that's one of the many reasons you should never make a tulpa lightly. It's like having a kid. Be sure you want one before you make one because they don't just go away. Sometimes, it may be necessary to refuse. If your tulpa is asking for a person who would negatively impact them or you, it's very important to calmly and firmly tell them no and explain why. There is no guarantee this will go well, but it is important to try.

Another thing that we've experienced in the near-decade since Rudolph formed: sometimes people just appear on their own. Our system has changed many times. New tulpas have been formed, tulpas have started going by new names, and while we can't trace back to the exact moment of everyone's forming, most of us can trace a chain of events that led to our existence in the system. This is true for the ones we made on purpose, and for the ones we didn't.

Some of our headmates have formed with no planning or aforethought. All three have formed in times of great stress and turmoil. They are quoigenic because nobody has any idea where they came from. This can happen in any system, including a tulpa system apparently. We still call ourselves a tulpa system even though we're technically mixed origin, because out of 16 of us, 12 are tulpas. The rest? Uhhhhhhhh, idk, I just work here.

So, what do you do when this happens? All we can really do is roll with it. We've been very lucky so far and not had any major problems, but that isn't to say there haven't been bumps in the road.

For example, one of our oldest headmates, who formed in about 2017, is a fictive from a video game. He is an antagonist. One of our newest headmates, who formed on her own, is a protagonist from that series and she HATED him at first. In fact, she went around trying to "warn" the rest of us against him. Obviously, it didn't work. I mean, he's been here for about seven years and his main job is making the body brush its teeth and go to bed on time. We trust him. But she didn't. In her case, she just needed time to get used to things. They needed to talk things through. It's working out now between them.

TLDR: Communication is key. If your tulpa starts to want other people around, talk it out. If you get a new headmate and nobody knows where they came from, talk to them. If two headmates are having conflict, make sure everyone involved understands why and will do what's right for themself and the system.

Obviously our advice isn't one-size fits all! Don't make a tulpa if you're not sure you want one.

[willonerdygoat]

host/main fronter: what if Im faking, what if the other guys r just silly little personas Im roleplaying for fun or something like how little kids pretend to be wolves or horses. literally any other facet: I am,,, literally so fundementally different from you, in internal appearance, ideology, hobbies, personality. let's be honest you could not roleplay this good if you TRIED.